Original subtitles

[music]

I'm not even doin' these. I can't do those.

Hey. What you think, Auntie?

-That is so nice! -Like my magic with the beads?

-So cool. -What would Jesus do?

-What would he do? -What would he do?

-Oh, and the bow is bowing. -The bow is--

The bow is bowing, OK?

-Hey there. -Hey!

-Hey, Miranda. -OK! You look cute.

Thank you very much. Hello, Ms. Ella and Jazmine.

-Good to see you. -OK.

What is all this?

Oh, I'm just helping Auntie Ella with her church fundraiser.

-Check it out. -We are making Bible covers

to sell after church in the bookstore.

-They are very cute. -[Ella] So nice.

-She's doing very well. -Thank you.

-Where's Christian? -Oh, Christian is with Calvin.

You know, he has him doing this whole Scout thing,

so they are shopping for camping supplies.

Sounds fun.

Oh, trust me. There ain't nothing fun about camping.

Dad had me do all that Scout stuff.

[Ella] Jazmine?

Laying out in the middle of the woods,

getting eaten up by bugs,

them buzzing in my ear every minute, not showering.

The boys can keep all that.

I'm with you, they can keep it. It's not my ministry.

No.

So, um... Have we heard from our friend?

-Who? -Laura, of course.

Nothing yet.

We heard from her mother. She came over here.

-Wait, Laura's mother? -[Ella] Yes.

Came over here?

Yes, she did. See, starting stuff.

I'm sorry. I just heard her talk.

-So how did that go? -It went well.

-Did it? -It went as well as it could.

She was throwing a lot of shade, if you ask me.

She was not throwing shade.

She just came over to talk out what happened.

OK? It went good.

She's a nice lady, very sophisticated.

Mama and I was ready to get it popping.

I'm sure you were.

But Auntie told us to take our narrow behinds home.

-I did not say that. -See what I just did?

Messy. Just messy. Just like your daddy. Messy.

Look, we have had enough drama in this house,

and so I agreed with her.

We just need to bring the temperature way down.

Ms. Ella, we want the ones to turn the temperature up.

That's true. And she should have at least come back over here

and tried to apologize to you or something.

I can't believe she didn't.

Yeah, and I think that is what has me all tripped up.

So she came in here to what? Put me in my place?

-Into my house? -She did, Auntie.

Oh, I just wanted to wring her little neck.

I thought I was just going to wring it.

Listen, I am with you. I was outdone.

How is she not only going to come for me,

but to come for you of all people?

Ooh, she crazy. She know she wrong.

Well, then why do I feel so bad?

You have nothing to feel bad about.

Yeah, well, Glo told me I'm wrong.

And she said, "Ella, you've got to forgive. Chew on that."

[Miranda] OK, listen.

You will forgive her, because you are a sweet Christian lady.

-Mm. -Me on the other hand?

I haven't been to church in a while.

Well, I guess I'm not that sweet then.

Why do you say that?

Because. I haven't forgiven her. I have not forgiven that chick,

and I just can't help myself. I have not.

And y'all just going to have to pray for me on this one.

Auntie, this is really hard for you, huh?

It is. It really, really is.

This is not your fault, and you are not to blame.

[Jazmine] Mm-hmm.

You really don't like her, do you?

I can't stand her. I just...

It's just something. I just can't stand her.

[music]

[birds chirping]

[airplane flying overhead]

[siren wailing] [horn honking]

[sirens wailing]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[music]

-Hey, my man! What's happening? -Hey, Uncle CJ.

How you doing, nephew? What's going on with you?

-My troop is going camping. -I heard.

-Hey, CJ. -What's up, man?

Man, thanks for lending me the backpack and sleeping bag.

This stuff is getting expensive.

Yeah, man. I pulled it for you. It's all right here.

-[Calvin] Thank you. -So cool.

Yeah, man. Your cousins are out back.

-Can I go, Dad? -Yeah, go ahead.

-So where's Junior? -With his mom.

So how you and Tracy getting along?

That depends on the day.

-[CJ sighs] -Man.

-[CJ] Hey, Uncle Curtis! -Hey, Pop.

Hey, Son.

I need you to run me to the hardware store.

-Again? -My hedger just went out.

OK.

I'm waiting for Janine to get back so she can watch the twins.

-OK. Where are they? -Out back with Christian.

-Calvin, you look stressed. -That's an understatement.

-Let me guess. Laura? -Bingo.

What the hell now?

-She's still mad. -Well, she ain't the only one.

Because Ella been rocking in her seat

and slamming stuff all week.

That's not good. Man, we told you. You gotta go fix this, man.

CJ, everybody keeps saying that, but what the heck

am I supposed to do?

Oh, you got to get them to go talk to each other

and squash this whole thing.

No, Laura refuses to go over there.

She said Mom told her never to come over again.

"You only got to kick me out one time!"

Ella did not tell her to never come back.

She told her she has to be respectful,

and Ella was right.

Calvin, tell her to be the bigger woman,

and go over there and talk to Aunt Ella.

CJ, I can't make Laura do anything.

I mean, she still thinks that Mom should come over there

and apologize to her.

And she's furious that I won't take her side.

You absolutely have to take Laura's side. Are you crazy?

Over my Momma?

What the hell kind of question is that?

Yes, absolutely. She gonna be your wife.

You have to take her side.

How is that gonna work?

Calvin, you learn to take sides without taking sides.

See, when you're talking to your wife,

you got to be outraged.

Let me see your outrage again. Do your outrage again.

You got to be mad as hell. "My momma said what?"

"I'm gonna to talk to her right now!"

You gotta be like that.

That's right! You got to be more angry about it than she is.

[Curtis] That's right.

You got to be so mad that she starts trying to calm you down.

[CJ] Yup.

Once you are completely out of your mind and unreasonable,

Laura will say, "OK, OK, OK."

She gonna decide to handle this thing herself,

and leave you out of it.

Calvin, you got to learn how to be mad

even when you're not mad.

Yup. Oh, Curtis is right. That's how you stay out of it.

Man, I'm confused.

Well, you better get unconfused.

Because when you're dealing with your wife,

you got to be so outraged you're like, "Ah, ah!"

Then you got to go over to Aunt Ella...

and then you got to be even more outraged!

Like, "I can't believe my wife!"

-[Curtis] Take it. -Yeah, so you got to take it up.

That's how you do it. Take it up!

OK.

And then once you mad as hell at everybody,

they gonna decide to leave you the hell alone.

And they'll deal with it themselves.

Huh.

Which is what you wanted in the first place, man.

Bing.

Well, damn. How'd you guys get so smart?

How'd you get estúpido ?

You know, Pop, sometimes you really be hurting my feelings.

Good.

Well, damn it, that's what you need.

Bringing all this damn drama to the family.

-You need your feelings hurt. -Make no sense.

Hm.

[music]

Hey, Mom. You're in PR. Um, I need your help.

OK, what's up?

I always have the hardest time

knowing what to say when I get put on the spot.

Well, honesty is clearly the best policy.

Yeah, but what if the truth

isn't the politically correct way to answer a question

when you're trying to protect someone

running for a political office?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter the situation.

Your father and I have always told you,

tell the truth, all right?

Even when you're put on the spot.

The truth is no respecter of persons. Kids!

That should be enough.

-Hey, babies. -[Jayden] Momma?

-Yes? Hi. Are you hungry? -He's always hungry.

Ain't that right.

Maybe he has worms.

Worms?

Like what dogs have in their stomach eating up their food.

Your brother does not have worms.

-Is anyone listening to me? -I'm listening, love.

-I have a question. -What is it?

Momma, what is a STD?

-Excuse me? -He said, what's an STD?

Yeah, what is an STD?

I don't know what's gotten into me.

OK, I'm sorry about that. I really am.

I know somewhere deep down on the inside, I love Laura.

I do. I'm sure.

Ms. Ella, listen. You're human. It's OK.

And I'm more human than you.

She was about to catch all the smoke from me, OK?

Smoke?

See, people be mistaking this sweet appearance for weakness.

But don't get it twisted, I will fight somebody over you.

OK. OK.

She definitely had me twisted, let me tell you.

Telling me to shut up in front of the whole family?

OK, you guys. We gotta stop. Can't do this. No, no, no.

We are not gonna do this. We're not.

I have to be the bigger woman and I am going to break the ice.

OK, so what are you gonna do? Are you gonna call her?

I've already texted her, yesterday, and this morning.

Glo made me feel so guilty, I had to.

OK, hold on. So, let me get this correct.

-She hasn't responded to you? -Not yet.

No. No. Well, I... No.

See, I don't know if she doesn't have her phone.

Ms. Ella, we always have our phones, all the time.

Yours is right there. Can I take a look at it?

-Take a look at my phone? -Yes.

-The messages. -There they are. Right there.

-Green. Right there, green. -The green one?

So, I texted her yesterday and I texted this morning.

Haven't heard anything yet.

Oh, she done lost her mind. No, she didn't.

What? What is it?

-Ms. Ella, she blocked you. -She sure did.

-She blocked me? -She blocked you.

-Blocked me? -Like--

-[screeching noise] -Blocked.

OK, tell me, what does that mean? "Blocked me"?

Exactly what it sounds like.

She blocked you from being able to call her and text her.

[Ella scoffs]

It's, um... It's what you do...

I know.

...when you're through with someone.

I got it.

And when you don't want to talk to them ever again anymore.

-Yeah, she blocked me. -She blocked you.

Well, actually, let's not assume,

because we're not sure that that's the case.

-No, she blocked me. -Maybe she had bad service--

-I know you kidding me. -For 48 hours?

-OK, OK, fine, you're blocked. -She blocked me!

But maybe you should just stop texting her, OK?

Because clearly, she don't wanna hear anything you have to say.

Hey, y'all. Hey, Ma. Hey, Ma.

-Hey. -"Hey, Ma."

-Did I do something wrong? -It's not good.

-Hey, Ma. -Hey, baby. How are you?

-Hey, Grandma. -Hey, big man.

-Hey, Auntie. -What's up, Christian?

Hey, um, I'm gonna take you in the kitchen.

-Let's get some food. -Good looking, Big Cuz!

Come on.

-What's up, Ma? -Calvin...

-That fiancée of yours... -Oh no, what did she do now?

Calvin, I think she's lost her mind.

OK, so, first, she has made no attempt

to reach out to your mother to apologize.

And being the bigger person that your mom is,

she did decide to reach out to Laura.

OK. Well, that's good.

-No, it's not good. -No, it's not good, Calvin.

-Not good? -[Ella] No, it's not good.

-[Miranda] Not good. -It's not good at all,

and you are going to have to handle this.

Yes, ma'am. Well, OK, what happened?

OK.

So, when Ms. Ella reached out to Laura...

She blocked me!

She blocked me, Calvin! Blocked me. Green.

Green. Blocked.

She blocked her.

So, what are you going to do about this?

Huh? Why are you sitting there so quiet?

-She blocked you? -Green!

-What? Oh no, she didn't! -Huh!

The nerve! I'm outraged.

-Calvin. -Oh, um, just...

Now, Calvin, wait a minute.

No, no, no, no, wait till I... Wait till I get home.

Ooh, I'm going to explode. I'm going to explode.

OK, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Calvin. Now you just need to calm down, baby,

because you're going to go and make this worse.

No, no, no, Mama, you're right. I need to handle this,

and I'm going to handle this right damn now.

-[Ella] Calvin. -Christian, let's go!

-No, no, Christian, no! -Don't come. Don't come.

You need to calm down. Leave Christian here until--

Ooh, my rage! Woo!

Calvin! Now you need to calm down.

No, I can't calm down! Ooh, I'm about to explode.

Christian, you stay here. You don't need to see this!

Calvin! Miranda, go get him.

OK, wait, maybe we shouldn't have told him.

No, we shouldn't. You go get him.

Stop him, because he's just going to make it worse!

-OK, OK. -I can handle this myself.

I think we need Jesus.

One more time. What did you just ask me?

What is an STD?

You see Mom, this is a great moment that you can teach me

on what to say when you get put on the spot.

Yeah, you know what, Jayden? That is a great question.

And you know what?

I'm excited to hear what Mom has to say about this as well.

Tell me, what is an STD?

An S, T, and a D are all letters in the alphabet.

What do the letters stand for, Mom?

Exactly. See, we already know our alphabet, don't we?

But what do the letters mean?

Don't you have somewhere to be?

Oh, no, I got time today. This is way more important.

Um, babies, where did you even hear

this combination of letters put together?

We were watching TV, and it was on the commercial.

I'm going to kill your father.

I told him to take the TV out of your room.

But we like the TV, Mom.

I know, baby. I know you do. I know.

-Mom. -Yes?

-Why are you ignoring me? -I mean, I'm not ignoring you.

I just don't know what to do.

Um, the letters, the letters. S, T, and D.

What do they... They stand... What?

-What do they stand for? -They stand for...

Strong, tough, and determined.

Strong, tough, and determined?

-Yes, sir. -Wow.

I know you're not about to lie to your own children like this.

Technically, I'm not lying.

Most of those things are strong, tough, and determined.

-So... -Technically they are, yup.

But, I know you're not going to allow them

to think that's what they really mean, right?

Oh, but I am.

Hey, Dad.

-Hey, baby. -Dad, I'm a STD.

-Excuse me? -I'm a STD.

OK. Go on back over there with your mom.

What in the world is going on in here?

[music]

[knock on door] Oh. Coming!

-Momma. -Hey.

[Laura] Hey. How are you?

-I'm good. -Good.

-So you're still here? -Yep. I'm still here.

-And no suitcases? -No suitcases.

-Calvin and I talked. -Good.

-[Laura] Yeah. -So you're good?

We are working on it.

-There's my girl. -Yeah.

-What about his family? -What about them?

Have you talked to anyone?

No, I haven't talked to anyone, Momma, come on.

-Hey, baby. -Hey, baby.

Oh. Hi, Ms. Elaine. How are you?

-I'm good. -Good.

-Are you OK? -No, I'm not OK. I'm outraged.

What happened?

You know, I keep thinking about it,

and I'm so mad at how my family treated you.

Well, listen, we're going to find a way to work this out.

So let's just figure out how to work it out.

No, no, I'm not having it.

There's no way I'm going to let that ride.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get.

OK baby, listen.

Let's just calm down, and we can just figure out a way--

-I can't calm down! -OK.

You know, Laura is right. In these situations,

it is best to just take some time and breathe.

Stay calm, get a level head before we confront people.

Respectfully, I'm going to put these bags down,

and I'm going to go over there, and I'm going to give

every single one of them a piece of my mind.

OK, baby, listen. Maybe we should just relax--

And do you believe they accused you

of blocking my Momma on your cell phone? Enough is enough!

Laura? Tell me you did not block his mother.

I might have.

Momma, I was mad at the time.

Oh girl, you and that temper. What are we going to do?

I don't know. What do you think I should do?

[Calvin] Ooh, I'm so mad!

First, unblock her.

-Yes, yes. -Right now, unblock her.

Yes! Let me get my phone.

-And don't let Calvin leave. -OK. I won't. I won't. I won't.

But Momma, I have to admit, uh, it kind of excites me

a little bit to know he's going to go over there

and stand up for me. I mean...

What? He can't do it like this. He can't!

You cannot let there be a rift between him and his mother.

That wouldn't be good for anyone.

And at the end of the day,

it will all be your fault. He'll blame you.

You're right. Damn! Damn.

OK. I'm-I'm-I'm gonna fix this.

You need to make this right without him.

- I will. Yes, ma'am. -I mean it, Laura.

I am, Mama.

-OK. And don't let him leave. -I won't.

You fix this.

[music]

[phone rings]

Oh, who is that? This is hot, be careful.

-Ooh, that look good. -Thank you.

-Yeah, it does. -So fresh.

No, no, go ahead, go ahead.

Hello? Yes. Hey, Mrs. Simmons. How are--

No, just... Are you OK?

What's wrong?

Jayden told you he was an STD.

You see? This is what happens when you lie to your own son.

I want to see you explain this one.

-Would you, both of you, hush? -I'm an STD

Stop it. This is not funny.

Mrs. Simmons, no, we're not laughing.

This is... You don't have to call anybody.

There's a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.

Um...

Tell my son he no damn STD.

No, we're really sorry about the inconvenience.

It won't happen again. We're gonna set the record straight.

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