Original subtitles

If there's one thing I know,

it's how to give good Zoom.

You want a pop of color that says, "girlfriend

likes to have fun"

but a level of order that says,

"girlfriend is in the workplace."

Too sexy.

And today's video call is pretty important.

I'm being interviewed for an upcoming feature

in Stanford's alumni magazine.

It is an honor that's truly humbling,

especially for the people who weren't selected.

Hi, there.

Dr. Joyce Henderson, class of '92, 720 math, 680 verbal.

Hi, Joyce.

It's Jeremy from the magazine.

Hey, Jeremy. You know what?

I'm not seeing you.

Oh, it's just an audio interview.

Did you think it was going to be video?

No.

Did you?

Well, unfortunately, the scans

confirmed what we suspected.

When you overextended your shoulder,

you tore two of your rotator cuff tendons right here.

So does that mean I can't play anymore?

Dominic's the starting pitcher

on the OMU baseball team and a prospect

for the minors next year.

Now, the conventional wisdom on irreparable

rotator cuff tears is clear.

It's too risky to operate.

Just cut your losses, aim for basic function.

But here's what I think about conventional wisdom.

Ooh.

That's, no, it's--OK, yeah, that's thick card stock.

It's well made.

But, uh, you get what I'm going for.

The good news is, there's an innovative new procedure

called a shoulder balloon implant that can restore

full range of motion.

Bad news is, there's only seven surgeons on the West Coast

trained to do it.

The good news is, I'm one of them.

The bad news is, I'm a little hungover today.

The good news is, just kidding.

That sounds great. Let's do it.

All right, my guy.

We'll get you prepped. - Cool.

All right.

You want anybody here with you?

Mom and Dad, maybe?

Uh, no, they're in El Salvador.

But I'll be good, right?

Oh, heck, yeah, you will.

I should say there's a small percentage of implant patients

that experience chronic pain after surgery.

But you're young and healthy, you'll be fine.

OK, if you don't think I need to worry about that.

I don't.

Now, those statistics reflect all surgeons,

and you won't have all surgeons.

You'll have Bruce Schweitz.

- Who's that? - Hmm?

Uh-- OK.

Who's that?

Very good.

You a ball player or a comedian?

I'll get your paperwork started,

Mrs. DeGeneres.

Oh, who's that?

Very good.

Well, when I took over,

St. Denis was ranked 32nd in the state.

And now, it's 29th.

Actually, 28th,

because Willamette Presbyterian burned down.

So, um, I think the numbers speak for themselves.

OK, so is that it?

I--I guess.

Wha--is that the amount that you normally get?

Just depends on the person.

Next up for this issue is Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods?

So the alumni feature is going to be Tiger Woods,

legendary sports icon,

and me,

legendary head of a regional hospital icon.

I'm gonna get you all wrapped up.

Keep your leg still.

And, uh, could you put out your right hand?

OK.

Palm up.

Very good.

Perfect.

Few things bring me real joy in life.

My rock tumbler,

watching an overtly French person fall down,

but most of all, the Portland Trail Blazers.

Today, they're playing the Warriors.

Damn!

And I hate the Warriors.

I--whoop!

Commercial's over.

We good? I think we're good.

So I sign up for emails, activate my account,

and then the promo code is "WELCOME."

Dude, just pay full price for socks.

- But-- - OK, on three.

One, two, three.

Oh, . - No, no, no, no, no.

.

So we had a little incident.

Not an incident.

Something has to happen for it to be an incident.

We kinda dropped a guy.

We started to drop him, but I reached out and stopped it.

Well, I--I did hear a bonk.

There was no bonk.

I got my hand under his elbow.

He either bonked your hand or he bonked the ground.

Either way you cut it, there was a bonk.

Hey, do you have a minute?

For you, pal?

I have two.

No, let's say one,

and if you need more, we can always cross that bridge.

OK.

Um--I'm-- I'm a little concerned

that Dominic is not fully aware of the risks of this surgery.

I told him there was a risk of chronic pain,

and you were standing right there.

It was--it was the way that you told him, Bruce.

You were very, very confident that it would succeed.

OK, is that a bad thing?

When a patient's going under,

I'm pretty sure they're not thinking, gosh,

I hope my surgeon is humble. - OK.

But I don't think we should be glossing over the possibility

of a bad outcome. - I wasn't glossing over it.

You kind of were.

Look, you care about our patients,

and that's very sweet.

Never lose that. - OK, it's not sweet.

That's like actual-- - Adorable, precious--

uh, take the compliment.

Look, I hear you.

I do. And matter of fact,

I have just the thing to solve this.

stay in your lane.

OK. Bye.

-Unlimited. - Mm-hmm.

I'll call it in to your pharmacy.

Thank you.

We have fun.

Oh, my God.

Have you seen this?

Tiger's a sensation.

Accomplishment after accomplishment.

Gorgeous chompers, too.

Like, two rows of Dentyne Ice.

Joyce, big news.

I have a future baseball star

who wants an experimental implant.

I just need your Jane Hancock.

Hold up. A new kind of surgery?

Oh. No, don't worry.

I wouldn't say new-new.

But it is risky and innovative?

No--unless you want it to be.

In which case, it is highly dangerous and inadvisable?

- OK, let me see that. - OK.

Eat your heart out, Tiger.

I don't know what's happening.

So I stopped by the guy's room, and he looks OK--

I think. - Yeah, because he is.

Right.

Well, I'll just keep a close eye.

And when he wakes up, we can tell him.

No, we won't be doing that.

What do you mean?

We have to tell him.

You tell a patient they we were dropped--

which, again, he wasn't--

and suddenly, his neck hurts,

and he's calling one of those sleazy lawyers from a bus ad.

Sleazy?

But they fight for you.

Plus, we'll end up getting written up for nothing.

Yeah, but it's the right thing to do.

I don't care about a write-up.

I do.

You're gonna take me down with you, get us both in trouble?

I guess not.

Jeremy, stop the presses.

Oh, we don't print for, like, three months.

It's quarterly.

Thank God, because I have a late-breaking scoop.

I just greenlit a wildly experimental

new surgery that's gonna help a young athlete

achieve his dream.

Really? That sounds interesting.

Yeah, well, I guess you could say here at St. Denis,

groundbreaking surgeries are par for the course.

Yeah, that'll work well if you put my picture

right next to Tiger's.

You feeling, uh, good about your surgery?

Uh, yeah.

I'm psyched you guys can get it knocked out today.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Right.

Uh, you talked to Mom and Dad?

They're on board and everything?

Ahh, I didn't wanna worry them.

And the doctor said it'll be fine, right?

Ye--yeah.

He, uh--you know, he also said it's a new surgery.

There are risks involved. So--

Wait, you--you don't think I should do it?

No, I'm not saying that.

I'm not even, really, it's not my--

But, like, if you were me, like, you'd do it?

Oh.

Uh, if I were you--

well, first of all, my husband would be in for a surprise,

you know, because he's pretty open-minded,

and he'd be like, oh!

And so--sorry.

Listen, I'll--I'll say this.

If you were my kid, I would be a bit concerned,

um, just about the possibility of chronic pain.

You know? But that's just me.

Yeah.

Hey, Alex!

Hey, congratulations.

So proud of you.

Hey, when's the grad party?

What are we talking about?

Oh. how you somehow became a board-certified surgeon

in the last hour, wow,

and convinced Dominic not to get the surgery.

Oh, you're upset with me.

Is this because I hurt your feelings?

Yeah, your fragile ego just couldn't handle

me not taking your advice?

I just wanted him to understand the risks involved.

What risks?

I know what I'm doing.

I'm not disputing that you're an excellent surgeon, Bruce.

Well, it would be insane if you were.

But even excellent s--

You'd be out of your gourd if you were--

- I'm speaking, OK? - OK. Mm-hmm.

Even excellent surgeons have bad outcomes sometimes.

Random things can just go wrong.

Like, 1% of the time.

It's basically nothing.

It's not nothing to the one guy in a hundred

who now has chronic pain for the rest of his life.

But that's not gonna happen here.

- But it could. - But it won't.

- But it might. - But it shan't.

- Shan't? - It worked.

Oh--hey, Joyce, the surgery's off.

Yeah.

You can thank Dr. Alex for that.

What? Oh, great.

Now I guess I'm back to being just the head

of some random hospital.

Tiger's gonna love this.

Due to circumstances unforeseen,

I'm going to have to retract my addendum

to your earlier reportáge.

Sorry, what?

We're not doing the-- the shoulder surgery.

Oh. OK. Is that it?

Is that it?

No.

No, I wouldn't just rip away good news without replacing it

with something.

Um, we are...

debuting an innovative vegan option

in our lobby cafeteria next month.

So there's--there's an exclusive for ya.

Mismatch down low on the block.

He's going for the ball.

Simmons lobs inside...

Hey, Doctor.

How's he doing?

Uh, yeah.

He's, uh, good.

He said he's good.

Oh, my gosh.

He's talking again?

He's talking again.

- Well, he--he didn't-- - He's talking.

He didn't say that. It was more of a vibe.

- Thank goodness. - OK.

Can you--I just need to-- can you excuse me? Just--

- Pick one. - Sorry, what's this?

You said a 1% chance of surgery going badly

was basically nothing.

There's 100 slips of paper in here.

One of them has an X on it.

Pick one. - OK.

Fine, whatever.

But if you choose the one with the X on it,

then you have to give me one year's salary.

What? No. Why would I do that?

Because it's easy to take a risk

when you don't have anything to lose.

But if you really think that 1% is nothing, then, you know.

Fine. Yeah.

I'm not sure Joyce would approve

of gambling in the hospital, but if it means

so much to you--ah--

not pre-tax, though, right?

Just pick.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

OK.

OK, open it up.

Mm.

It's blank.

Of course, it was blank.

Oh, I think he got the X,

and the reason I think that

is because they all had Xs on them.

Ow.

You OK?

Oh, yeah.

You ever have hairs on your head that don't belong?

Just trying to get rid of those.

- Mm. - It's crazy.

As soon as they're gone,

you find another crop that has to go.

So, I was thinking, since we both agreed

to keep our mouths shut about the patient

and we wouldn't wanna violate each other's trust--

No, of course not.

Why don't we keep each other honest

with some collateral?

You tell me a secret; I tell you a secret.

Oh, OK. Yeah.

So we kind of have secrets just between us?

But it has to be something really humiliating.

Ah--

OK.

Um, I--I have this recurring dream

where I give birth to my mother,

and it feels very real.

And as soon as she's out,

she starts just wailing with hunger.

So I have to, you know, feed her.

Great. Got your ass.

Don't say anything to the guy, and you'll be fine.

Wait, where are you--

you--you didn't tell me your secret.

Watching the big game, huh?

Total guy move.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we need our sports, right?

We're men.

Mascot's gotta be getting hot in there.

You can keep talking, but I will physically harm you.

Hey, Alex.

Boy, nurses run on coffee, am I right?

Mm-hmm.

Oh! Dropped my sandwich.

Close call.

Gosh, I probably just saved your life.

Yeah, there was a big study about deli meats

increasing the odds of heart disease.

And according to Alex, anything with the slightest risk

shouldn't be done. - Nice, Bruce.

Really nice. - Uh-huh.

It was vegan. Sprouts and avocado.

Uh, a choking risk, then.

You're welcome, Keith.

That's not what I said at all.

Guys, you wanna hold it down? We're at work.

I just have this crazy thing

where I think we should be upfront with our patients

about things that might affect them.

Oh, I don't think that's crazy at all.

We owe it to our patients to tell them everything.

Guys, Matt, has this dream that--

On the other hand, it's important to say nothing.

Hey, did anyone bring an extra lunch?

Maybe we should tell people not to drive home.

You seen the stats on car crashes?

Oh, and 100,000 people slip in the tub every year.

So--what? Maybe we should stop showering?

Is that what you want?

Just a bunch of stinky people walking down the highway?

I don't think this is about risk.

This is about your ego.

It's funny, 'cause I think it's about your ego.

Everybody, stop.

This is a break room, OK?

And if you all respectfully shut the up,

it would be appreciated.

Ron makes a good point--

Shut up!

We're trying to watch the game.

Be sure to call about PT, OK?

Those appointments go really fast.

Hey.

I just wanted to say I respect your decision

about the implant.

Sometimes, it's good to be cautious.

- Cool. Thanks. - All right.

All right, let's get you signed out--

Neil Armstrong.

- Here we go. - What?

What's that--oh, nothing.

No, I was just thinking about Neil Armstrong.

He is kind of a hero of mine.

Oh, it's funny, now that you mention it,

he also took a risk. Yeah?

Piloted a tin can all the way to the moon,

changed the course of human history.

He also had a team of scientists around him

making sure that--

Well, but he's not the only one.

The Wright Brothers, who conquered the skies.

Gandhi, and his thing. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of risk-takers.

- OK, that is true. - Mm.

It's also true that for every Neil Armstrong,

some other risk-taker takes a joy ride

down to the "Titanic" wreck and explodes!

Implodes. What? They imploded.

That was nuts.

And what would you know about risk?

She doesn't go to Costco after 3:00 p.m.

because she says the parking lot is too scary.

People there are insane, Bruce.

I am not the only one who thinks that.

No.

No, no, no!

Open your eyes.

Damn it!

It breaks your heart, but you can't save them all.

He's saying I don't take risks, which is crazy.

Just last week, I bought a pack of bras right off the shelf.

Like, I didn't even try them on first.

Yeah, OK, but see,

that seems less like a risk thing

and more like a self-respect thing.

Oh.

Alex, I'm on my way to the OR

to start Dom's surgery.

I just wanted to say, colleague to colleague,

tough loss.

You came at the big dog. I respect that.

But you weren't ready for that big dog bite.

All right, Bruce.

I got that locking jaw.

Heh, not neutered, so aggression's way up.

I really don't care.

Ooh, I think she does, Nurse--

come on, you got to wear your name badge

in a visible place, bud. - It's Parker.

It's too late.

Look, the point is, I won.

And I'm sorry that hurts your feelings.

It is insane that you think that this is about my feelings.

Uh, I think if you dig down deep enough,

it is about your feelings.

Or, maybe, I just know what it's like

when someone takes a risk and it doesn't work out.

Because I'm the one who takes care of them

when they come back in, and they're in pain,

or they're hooked on pills, or worse.

But you don't have to worry about any of that, do you?

Big dog.

OK, sir, just checking your vitals--

blood pressure, heart rate,

elbow function.

Elbow?

I had a collapsed lung.

Oh, this-- this is all protocol.

Um, so elbow-wise, we're doing all good?

- I think so. - Great!

That's--that's great.

Uh, well, let me know if there's anything I can do

to make you more comfortable. - No, I'm OK. Thanks.

Hot chocolate, maybe?

You a Swiss Miss man?

I could also make Nestlé happen.

Headline is, I'm here.

I'm gonna take care of you.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Is everything good in here. - Yep.

Hah! Yep. Super good.

Almost too good, right?

Hey, can we get some problems in here?

He was asking about my elbow.

And his heart rate.

Tell her about your heart rate.

Hey, I come in peace.

I'm invested in Dom now,

so I just wanted to see this through.

Uh-huh.

I'm serious.

I'm just here to be supportive.

So good luck in there.

Uh-huh.

Looks like they're all ready for you.

Uh-huh, well, I just have to scrub a few more spots.

I think you got all the spots there, bud.

Well, I wanna make sure my hands are clean, OK?

So I don't mess up and, uh, you know,

ruin this kid's life.

What the--uh, out of soap. Great.

Cool. Cool hospital.

OK, talk to me. What--what's going on?

I don't know.

I just--I can't stop thinking about what you said.

I know, I'm as shocked as you when your words have impact.

I just keep picturing this kid out on the streets.

He lost his scholarship,

sold his baseball equipment for drug money.

Let's step back--

Eventually, he sells the only thing he has left--

himself. - All right--

And soon, he becomes the top prostitute in Oregon.

But he can't even take pride in that distinction

because he could have been so much more.

Why is this my life?

Oh, OK. Listen, you--

you talk about, you know, colonizing Mars, right?

Well, it doesn't have to be Mars.

It could be one of Jupiter's moons.

OK, whatever. Listen.

But that is-- is gonna take big risks.

- Oh, yeah. - You know?

And--and a certain breed of person.

It's not gonna be the Mazurkians.

I'm sorry.

Your last name is Mazurkian? - Yeah.

How do you-- - What?

Why? - OK, listen.

There--there's a kid in there on that table, right,

and--and he needs help.

So tell me this, if that were you in there,

would you trust you?

There's no one in the world I'd trust more.

Then you know what you need to do.

Hmm.

Well played.

Mm.

Hey, Alex.

Yeah?

Let someone know about that soap dispenser, will you?

It's empty.

So--thanks.

There's a chance this will all blow over.

There's also a chance that Matt will end up bald,

penniless, and inviting this guy to live with him.

Come on.

Let's tell him what happened

before you fully lose your mind.

Seriously?

You're turning into Smeagol, so, yes.

So there's no damage or bruising,

and your vitals are totally normal,

but we just wanted you to be aware.

OK.

Well, thanks for the heads-up. - Of course.

I mean, it's the least we could do.

I really appreciate you telling me.

It's rare to find somebody so--

honest. - Oh.

- It's nice. - Oh.

Well, no biggie.

It is a biggie.

I'm Will, by the way.

Serena.

And I'm Matt.

Yeah, it feels good to tell the truth.

The patient took it well.

So well that he and Serena have been talking for...

26 minutes now, which is very cool.

He's making her laugh,

and I told her I breastfeed my mom in my dreams.

So--

Down to the wire. Portland up by 2.

No time-outs. - Ron,

we need you on 106.

Can it wait 8.3 seconds?

Well--it is a seizure,

but I'll see if he can hold it in until you're ready.

You always got a little something to say,

don't you, Parker?

Nobody talk to me or do anything.

Whoa!

Warriors at the buzzer!

Hell of an ending!

Whoo!

Game that close, everybody wins.

Keith.

Hi, Joyce.

I'm calling to retract my retraction

because the surgery is back on, baby.

OK. Good to know, thanks.

Oh, I--I also wanted to come clean about something.

The much-heralded vegan option is not a done deal yet.

We're already doing halal and kosher, and it's a lot.

So I just wanted to get out in front of that

before your fact checkers sharpen their claws.

Yeah, at the end of the day,

I was probably in my head for nothing.

And if I had to guess, I bet Tiger was just as worried

about stacking up to me.

Zero Olympic medals for this guy.

Yikes.

OK, subacromial space is ready.

Inserting balloon through the lateral port.

And--perfect.

So Dominic's surgery went well,

and I'm really happy for him.

And you know what?

Yeah, maybe I could stand to take

a few more risks in my life.

Scratchers.

I never do this.

Oh, .

That's $5 down the drain.

You know what? Just one more.

I gotta get my money back.