Original subtitles

HEY, HEY!

AAH! AAH! COACH! COACH!

WHOA, WHAT, UH, WHAT?

YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH YOUR EYES HALF OPEN AGAIN.

OH, SO WHAT?

SO WHAT? I CAN'T HELP IT.

IT CREEPS ME OUT.

IT'S EVIL.

HEY, BABE. WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HOME?

I GOTTA CHANGE MY DRESS BEFORE THE NIGHT SHIFT

'CAUSE I GOT TERIYAKI SAUCE ALL OVER THIS ONE.

HERE, LET ME RUB THAT OFF FOR YOU.

DON'T, JUST...

GET AWAY.

YOU NEVER LET ME HELP.

COME HERE, COME HERE, BABY.

WHAT--WHAT-- WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED?

I COLLIDED WITH A BUSBOY. I'M SO FRAZZLED.

I WORKED, LIKE, 8 SHIFTS IN A ROW.

BABY, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW,

BUT WE NEED THE MONEY, ALL RIGHT?

YOU THINK I LIKE GOING TO WORK

AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING?

BUT WE ARE SO CLOSE

TO OUR DREAM VACATION

IN THE TROPICAL SPLENDOR

THAT IS CANCÚN.

YEAH, BUT I--

UH, AH, WE DON'T WANT TO SETTLE AGAIN

FOR ANOTHER VACATION ON THE JERSEY SHORE.

[FLY BUZZES]

OH, GOD, SEAN. HAND ME THE BUG SPRAY.

CAN WE GO HOME?

NO.

NO, WE CAN'T GO HOME, MISSY, OK?

THIS IS OUR VACATION.

SO, CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.

LOOKIT, LOOK, YOUR BROTHERS,

THEY'RE PLAYING, THEY'RE RUNNIN' AROUND

HAVIN' A GOOD TIME.

BEES! BEES!

BEES, HELP! GET 'EM AWAY!

I KNOW, BUT IT'S JUST...

I NEVER GET TO SEE THE KIDS, YOU KNOW?

BY THE TIME I GET UP IN THE MORNING THEY'RE IN SCHOOL,

AND BY THE TIME I GET HOME, THEY'RE IN BED.

HEY, HEY, THE KIDS ARE FINE, OK,

AND THEY'RE GONNA LOVE US FOR GIVING THEM

THE BEST VACATION OF THEIR LIVES.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. HEY, LIL.

HEY, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ALL WEEK.

COME SIT DOWN AND TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.

WHY WON'T LILY TALK TO ME?

AH, IT'S, YOU KNOW,

JUST ONE OF HER THINGS, YOU KNOW.

I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, IF SHE HAD SOMETHING GOIN' ON

SHE'D BE TALKIN' ABOUT IT. JUST TRUST ME.

YEAH, WHEN JIMMY HAD HIS PROBLEM,

HE WAS REALLY UP FRONT ABOUT IT.

WHAT? JIMMY HAD A PROBLEM?

NO, HE, OH, A MINOR PROBLEM,

BUT IT'S BEEN DEALT WITH.

THERE WAS AN INCIDENT AT SCHOOL.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE GARBAGE.

WOULD YOU PLEASE NOT DO THAT?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID, UH, COULD YOU PLEASE NOT--

ARE YOU ORDERING ME AROUND?

NO, NO, NO. I, UH--

I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT.

OH, MY BAD. MY BAD. MY BAD. MY BAD. MY BAD.

[ALL LAUGH]

THAT'S AWFUL.

IT IS, IT IS, BUT I TOOK CARE OF IT.

DON'T WORRY, OK? THE KIDS ARE FINE.

DO YOU PROMISE? ABSOLUTELY.

OK.

I GOTTA GET THIS DRESS OFF.

ALL RIGHT.

[LILY SCREAMS]

WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR TONGUE?

NOTHING. NO, NO.

NOTHING, NOTHING. BUT I SAW--

[LISPING] OK, I PIERCED IT! I PIERCED IT, OK?

OH. NO.

NO, NO, NO, IT IS NOT OK.

HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING THAT STUPID?

[LISPING] YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT COOL IS.

WELL, LILY'S LOCKED HERSELF IN THE BATHROOM,

BUT SHE ASSURES ME SHE'S ABSOLUTELY THUPER.

OH, GOOD.

I CAN'T FIND MY CLEAN CLOTHES FOR WORK.

YOU PICKED UP THE DRY CLEANING, RIGHT?

OH, YEAH, RIGHT, I WOULD HAVE, SEE,

BUT I FORGOT TO DROP THEM OFF.

I WAS PARENTING.

HENRY, HEY. OH, HEY, BUDDY,

WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE DOUGHNUTS?

THEY'RE FREE OVER AT THE DOUGHNUT SHOP.

[LAUGHS] REALLY? YEAH.

THEY JUST LEAVE 'EM OUT BACK IN THE ALLEY AT THE END OF THE DAY.

THEY'RE NICE AND CRUNCHY.

UH, HEY. HENRY.

HENRY, HENRY, HEY, HEY, HO, HO.

HEY, BUDDY, WE HAD A RULE IN THIS HOUSE, OK?

WE DON'T EAT FROM THE GARBAGE.

YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THAT.

WE DIDN'T THINK WE HAD TO, HONEY.

IT'S LIKE DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET.

OH, GREAT. ANOTHER RULE.

WEREN'T YOU WATCHING HIM?

WHAT? WHAT? HEY, I'M THE ONE

WHO CAUGHT HIM WITH THE DUMPSTER DOUGHNUTS.

OH, THAT'S VERY COMFORTING.

BABE, BABE, COME ON.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE, OK? CANCÚN.

OK, THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, ALL RIGHT?

SUN DRENCHED BEACHES AND SNORKELING FOR THE KIDS, AND THE WINDSURFER,

AND, OOH, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT LOBSTER, HUH?

AND THE MEALS ARE JUST FANTASTIC,

AND EVERYTHING'S INCLUDED,

AND--AND THE TROPICAL DRINKS ARE SO BIG,

YOU COULD JUST-- YOU COULD JUST TAKE A BATH IN THEM.

AND THEN YOU AND ME, WE'RE WALKIN' DOWN THE BEACH AT SUNSET...

WHITE, WHITE SAND...

KIDS ARE UPSTAIRS IN THEIR ROOMS SLEEPING,

AND IT'S JUST YOU AND ME AND THE CRYSTAL CLEAR WATERS.

NOBODY WANTED THIS BEAR CLAW, RIGHT?

I CAN GET IT, YEAH?

[SIGHS]

WHY, WHY, WHY?

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING?

FINE, YOU HAVE IT.

OH, UGH.

YOU'RE THROWIN' AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD BEAR CLAW?

YOU WANT IT? YOU'RE WELCOME TO IT.

ALL RIGHT.

OH, GOD. OK, JUST TELL ME

EVERYTHING WITH JIMMY IS OK.

EVERYTHING'S OK.

OK OR GOOD?

GOOD, NOW.

I MEAN, AT FIRST, THINGS WERE SHAKY.

OK, LISTEN, BUDDY, I'M GONNA HANDLE THIS, OK?

OH, HEY, LIL,

UM, I GOTTA GO TO WORK TOMORROW MORNING AT 5:00.

COULD YOU WALK YOUR LITTLE BROTHER TO SCHOOL

AND MAKE SURE NOTHING HAPPENS TO HIM?

YEAH, SURE.

ALL RIGHT, THANKS. YEAH.

KEEP THAT ON YOUR HEAD.

WOULD YOU GUYS PLEASE CUT IT OUT?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, RUN AWAY AGAIN?

"MY BAD. MY BAD. MY BAD."

[ALL LAUGH]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND HIM.

[LAUGHS] OH, BUT IT'S NOT.

UNH. [SIGHS]

[ALL LAUGH]

WOW, YEAH. THAT'S MY GIRL.

YEAH, SHE'S A SCRAPPER JUST LIKE HER GRANDMA.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, MAYBE SENDING LILY IN TO FIGHT HIS BATTLES

WASN'T THE SMARTEST IDEA.

WHERE'S YOUR SISTER NOW?

Sean: SISTER HELEN.

I HAVE OFFICE HOURS, MR. FINNERTY.

YEAH, WELL, I WORK DURING YOUR OFFICE HOURS, SISTER.

SO DO I.

OK, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF OPERATION

YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND HERE,

BUT MY SON, JIMMY,

IS GETTIN' THE SNOT BEATEN OUT OF HIM

ON A DAILY BASIS.

WE HAVE A POLICY AGAINST FIGHTING HERE, JIMMY.

OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME.

I'M A BIG FAN OF THAT POLICY.

GOOD. WHOA, WHOA, SISTER HELEN,

I REALLY NEED YOU TO DEAL WITH THIS, OK?

THIS IS THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD I NEED RIGHT NOW.

AND, UH, WHY IS THAT?

WELL, ME AND THE WIFE ARE WORKING CRAZY HOURS.

WE'RE SAVING UP TO TAKE THE FAMILY ON A VACATION.

WE'RE GOING TO, UH, CANCÚN.

IT'S IN THE GULF OF MEXICO.

WELL, I'LL NEED JIMMY TO IDENTIFY

THE CHILDREN THAT HAVE BEEN DOING THIS,

AND, UH, BY THE WAY, CANCÚN IS IN THE CARIBBEAN,

NOT THE GULF OF MEXICO.

BUT I CAN'T RAT ON THOSE GUYS.

IT'S SOME KID NAMED KYLE, BUT--HEY.

I DO, UH, I KNOW IT'S THE GULF OF MEXICO

BECAUSE I HAVE THE BROCHURE AT HOME.

WELL, MR. FINNERTY, I'VE BEEN THERE.

IS IT KYLE COCKLIN?

THEY LET YOU GO TO CANCÚN?

IF BY "THEY" YOU MEAN "GOD,"

YES, HE DOES LET ME GO TO CANCÚN.

WOW, ISN'T IT ALL, LIKE, ISN'T IT, YOU KNOW, HOT

UNDERNEATH THE, UM...

THE HABIT? MM-HMM.

YOU KNOW, MR. FINNERTY,

WE CAN TAKE IT OFF. WE DO BATHE.

OH, OF COURSE. I MEAN, YOU HAVE TO BATHE. EVERYBODY BATHES.

IT'S JUST--I--I-- YOU KNOW, I MEANT IN PUBLIC.

I DON'T WEAR A THONG.

UM, SO, ARE YOU GONNA TELL KYLE

THAT I RATTED ON HIM?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING, JIMMY,

AND I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY YOUR TRIP TO THE CARIBBEAN.

UH, THE GULF OF MEXICO.

ISN'T IT "CARIBBEAN?"

YES, IT IS, HENRY.

BOTH ARE ACCEPTABLE.

NO, THEY'RE NOT.

SO, I HANDLED IT,

AND THERE HASN'T BEEN A PROBLEM SINCE.

WELL, THANK GOD.

I KNOW. POOR GUY.

HAVING TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT. POOR JIMMY.

POOR JIMMY? WHAT ABOUT ME?

OH, NO, NO, NO ONE ASKED YOU

TO GET YOUR TONGUE PIERCED.

I HAD NO THOICE.

YOU HAD NO WHAT?

THOICE. NO THOICE.

YOU HAD NO TOYS?

CHOICE.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHE WAS SAYING SHE HAD NO CHOICE.

EXACTLY. IT WAS SELF-PRESERVATION.

HEY, GUYS. DOES ANYBODY HAVE

THE BIO NOTES I CAN COPY?

UH-OH.

ARE YOU GONNA BEAT US UP FOR THEM?

[ALL LAUGH]

WHAT?

OH, I FORGOT.

YOU ONLY BEAT UP 11-YEAR-OLDS, DON'T YOU?

[ALL LAUGH]

THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME.

I HAD TO MAKE MYSELF COOL AGAIN.

WELL, WHY STOP WITH YOUR TONGUE?

PUT A BOLT THROUGH YOUR NECK,

YOU'LL BE QUEEN OF THE PROM.

I WAS THE LAUGHING STOCK.

I WAS DESPERATE.

Girl: OH, THAT IS SO COOL.

WOW, LOOK AT THAT.

YOU THINK THAT'S COOL?

NO WAY.

OH, YEAH.

[GASPS]

THAT THING HURT LIKE A BITH.

HEY, WATCH THE MOUTH, MISS.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU DID THIS.

HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

I GOT A PIERCING ONCE.

OH, PFFT. THAT WENT OVER WELL.

WHOA. [LAUGHS]

HEY, RICKY, MRS. DELVECCHIO,

CHECK ME OUT. YOU LIKE?

YOU LIKE IT, RIGHT?

AH, AH, AH, AH, OW, OW.

AH, OH.

[WHIMPERS] HOLD STILL, HOLD STILL.

AAH! IT HURTS LIKE CRAZY! AAH!

I MADE QUITE A STATEMENT WITH THAT CHAIN.

YOU HAD IT FOR AN HOUR.

YEAH, BUT BACK THEN, IT WAS REBELLIOUS.

IT'S NOT LIKE TODAY WHERE YOU HAVE TO GET

A PERMISSION SLIP FROM YOUR PARENTS.

YOU NEED A PERMISSION SLIP?

I HAD A PERMISSION SLIP.

OH, SORRY. I'M SORRY. I OVERSLEPT.

COME ON, I'LL MAKE YOU GUYS SOME BREAKFAST, OK?

WELL, NO, MOM. I GOTTA BE AT SCHOOL IN 5 MINUTES.

OK, HAVE A GOOD DAY, HENRY.

I'M JIMMY.

MOM, CAN YOU SIGN THIS? MY CLASS IS GOING

ON A FIELD TRIP TO ELLIS ISLAND.

THAT'S GOOD. HAVE FUN, BABE.

I WILL.

COFFEE.

YOU LIED TO ME?

NO, WE ARE GOING TO ELLIS ISLAND.

I DIDN'T IMPLY THAT THE 2 THINGS WERE RELATED.

HMM-HMM-HMM.

I'M GONNA WAIT FOR THAT TONGUE TO HEAL,

AND THEN I'M GONNA PULL IT

RIGHT OUT OF HER HEAD.

I'LL HOLD HER DOWN.

MAN, IF I HAD BEEN WORKING REGULAR HOURS,

THAT WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN BY ME.

LOOK, BABY, IF YOU WANT TO WORK REGULAR HOURS, GO AHEAD.

WE'LL JUST TAKE THE SAME OLD REGULAR VACATION.

WE'LL GO BACK TO THE JERSEY SHORE LIKE WE DID LAST YEAR.

PFFT. [SIGHS]

NICE DAY, HUH?

WELL, IT'S HOT.

MMM. GOOD NEWS, FOLKS.

WHATEVER IT IS, WE GOT IT TRAPPED

BEHIND THE MINI FRIDGE.

WE SPRAYED IT UP PRETTY GOOD,

BUT IT'S STILL KINDA SNAPPIN',

SO, I'D WAIT ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO

BEFORE YOU GO BACK IN.

WHEN CAN WE GO BACK INSIDE?

UM, UH...

WELL, WHEN THE THING IN THERE STOPS...

SNAPPING.

SNAPPING.

OH, GOD, NOT THAT AGAIN.

SEE? THAT'S WHY WE'RE WORKIN' SO HARD.

[SIGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR!

I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

AH! JIMMY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND?

SEE, SISTER? THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKIN' ABOUT.

YOU WERE RIGHT, MR. FINNERTY.

THERE IS A BULLY PROBLEM AT SCHOOL.

YEAH, OK, I TRIED TO TELL YOU THAT.

THE BULLY IS YOUR SON.

I HURT MY HAND

PUNCHING A GUY IN THE TEETH.

JIMMY CAN'T BE THE BULLY.

HE'S NEVER HURT ANYONE.

ARE YOU SUGGESTING I'M LYING?

NO, NO. W-W-W-W-WAIT.

JIMMY WAS THE ONE

WHO WAS GETTING PICKED ON.

OH, OH, NO, NOT ANY MORE.

I KICKED SOME SERIOUS ASS.

JIMMY.

HEY, HEY, JIMMY. LET'S GO INTO THE KITCHEN

AND MAKE SISTER HELEN SOME TEA, OK?

WHY? COME ON!

UM, YOU KNOW, I JUST GOT MADE AN USHER AT THE 9:30 MASS.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

JIMMY, TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN SCHOOL.

HENRY...

W-W-WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

I EARNED IT.

HENRY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

OH, SO FIRST I'M NOT ALLOWED

TO ROOT THROUGH DUMPSTERS,

AND NOW I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BEG FOR FOOD.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT?

I COOK FOR YOU.

MACARONI AND CHEESE. IT'S ALL YOU EVER MAKE.

YEAH, BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT.

I USED TO. WE ATE IT 6 DAYS IN A ROW.

HENRY, HOOK ME UP WITH A DUMPLING.

HEY, I DANCED FOR 'EM.

YEAH, YOUR DANCIN' DAYS ARE OVER.

YEAH, AND HEY, BUDDY, NO MORE PANHANDLING.

COME ON, JIMMY. WHAT HAPPENED, HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' BEATIN' GUYS UP?

I HAD TO. I MEAN,

AFTER DAD GOT SISTER HELEN INVOLVED.

WAIT, I--I THOUGHT SHE WOULD TAKE CARE OF THINGS.

OH, YEAH. SHE DID TAKE CARE OF THINGS.

OW! OW!

KYLE WON'T BOTHER YOU AGAIN, JIMMY.

[WHISPERS] I'm gonna get you. OW!

[KIDS LAUGH]

OH, GOD.

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME?

I DID, AND YOU JUST MADE IT WORSE,

SO I WENT TO UNCLE EDDIE.

I JUST HAPPENED TO BE AROUND.

OK, SEE THIS GUY?

HE'S NOT LOOKIN' FOR A FIGHT.

HE'S--HE'S FILLED WITH INNER PEACE,

BUT THESE OTHER GUYS FROM THE CHOW LIN PROVINCE

ARE GONNA PUSH HIM TOO FAR,

BUT RIGHT NOW, HE'S JUST TAKIN' IT.

JUST--LOOKIT, THEY JUST BROKE HIS BOWL.

THEY HUMILIATED HIM, AND HE'S JUST SITTIN' THERE TAKIN' IT.

THE FORTITUDE OF THIS GUY, JUST TAKIN' IT.

JUST TAKING IT. YEAH, I'M GONNA FAST FORWARD

'CAUSE THIS IS BORING. HE'S TAKING IT.

HE TAKES IT FOR A WHILE.

SEE, ALL MARSHAL ARTS ARE BASED ON THE SAME BASIC PRINCIPLES:

SURPRISE AND MISDIRECTION.

NOW, SAY YOU WERE GONNA KICK ME.

SHOW ME HOW YOU WOULD DO IT.

NO, NO,

NO, YOU'RE BEING OBVIOUS.

THIS IS HOW STEVEN SEAGAL WOULD DO IT.

THIS LAND BELONGS TO THE ESKIMOS,

AND I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU--

BOOM!

THIS GUY IS DOWN, AND HE'S NOT GETTING UP...

'CAUSE I MISDIRECTED HIM BY LOOKING OVER

AT THIS GUY OVER HERE,

AND THEN I SURPRISED HIM

BY KICKING HIM

IN THE MIDDLE OF MY ESKIMO SPEECH.

OK, ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS--

YAH!

YOU LEARN QUICKLY, MY YOUNG--OOH!

MAN, I CAN REALLY GO FOR A NICE, COLD--

YAH!

FINISH HIM OFF, YOU KNOW?

WAA!

YEAH, NO MERCY.

[SIGHS]

EDDIE'S RAISING OUR SON.

UH, NOT EXACTLY. HE--

SEAN!

EDDIE IS RAISING

[WHISPERS] our son.

BABY, BABY.

A SIMPLE THANK YOU WOULD BE NICE.

UH, NO, NO, BABY. JUST--JUST--

WE'RE ALMOST THERE. JUST--JUST KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE, OK,

AND THEN WE CAN BE HERE-- HERE, US, ON THE BEACH.

OH, CRYSTAL CLEAR WATERS LAPPING AT OUR TOES,

FRIENDLY NATIVES ATTENDING TO OUR EVERY WHIM.

WAIT, LOOK. THERE'S OUR CHILDREN.

THEY'RE HAVING SUCH A GREAT TIME.

THIS IS SO FANTASTIC.

I'VE NEVER FELT LESS SURLY IN MY LIFE.

I LOVE YOU, MOM.

WE'RE GONNA LEARN ABOUT CORAL REEFS.

OH, YOU GUYS GO DO

WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANNA DO.

PARDON ME...

BUT I'M DOUBLE PARKED.

OH, UH, HUH?

CAN WE PLEASE FINISH THIS?

UM, OH, YEAH. I'M SORRY, SISTER.

I WAS JUST MAKING YOU, UH, TEA.

YEAH, WELL, I DIDN'T ASK FOR TEA.

I KNOW. I JUST MADE IT.

YEAH, I DON'T WANT TEA.

OK, UH...

LOOK, LOOK, SISTER HELEN,

I'M SORRY IF HE GOT INVOLVED IN SOMETHING,

BUT YOU KNOW JIMMY. THIS ISN'T LIKE HIM.

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SCHOOL YARD TODAY

WAS A VERY UGLY SCENE.

WELL, I WASN'T ASKING FOR TROUBLE.

I WAS JUST SITTING THERE, AND ENJOYING MY INNER PEACE.

WELL, WELL. LOOK WHO'S READING A BOOK.

IS THIS SOME KIND OF GIRL BOOK, GIRLIE, HUH?

OOPS, LOOKS LIKE YOU DROPPED YOUR BOOK.

YOU ARE REALLY TESTING MY INNER PEACE.

AAH! OW! OW! OW!

UNH! UNH! UNH!

OH! OOH!

OH.

GOOD LORD.

I'M SORRY, BUT I THINK JIMMY MAY BE EMBELLISHING.

OH, NO. I DON'T-- I DON'T THINK--NO.

I SAW IT.

Kyle: ONE DAY HE, UH, ESCAPED,

AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, THEY WENT IN OUR FRUIT TREE

AND THEY ATE EVERY PIECE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

AAH!

Kids: GO, JIMMY! GO, JIMMY!

GO, JIMMY! GO, JIMMY!

GO, JIMMY! GO, JIMMY!

GO, JIMMY! GO, JIMMY! GO, JIMMY!

EITHER WAY, GOOD JOB.

THANKS. NO, NO, NO, NO.

NOT A GOOD JOB, OK?

ALL RIGHT. FIGHTING DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING.

IT--IT--IT'S STUPID AND IT'S WRONG.

IT'S DANGEROUS. YES.

YES, AND--AND I PROMISE YOU, SISTER HELEN,

WE WILL HANDLE THIS, 'CAUSE WE'RE GOOD PARENTS, REALLY.

WELL, I HOPE SO.

I'M GOING TO BE KEEPING MY EYE ON JIMMY.

AS WILL WE.

DO WE HAVE SOME ANTISEPTIC?

THIS IS REALLY STINGING.

WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR TONGUE?

NOTHING, SISTER.

I'LL SEE YOU IN DETENTION.

OH, CRAP.

ADIOS, CANCÚN.

I'M CALLIN' WORK.

SOMEONE ELSE IS GONNA HAVE TO TAKE MY SHIFT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA CANCEL

MY SHIFT TOMORROW, TOO.

CANCÚN WILL BE THERE WHEN WE'RE RETIRED, RIGHT?

OH, SWEETIE, I DO NOT WANNA SEE

YOUR BIG, WHITE, 65-YEAR-OLD ASS ON A DIVING BOARD.

JUST FOR THAT, I'M WEARIN' A SPEEDO.

OOH. YUCK.

COME ON, WE'LL HAVE A NICE VACATION, RIGHT?

YEAH, WE'LL DO SOMETHIN' FUN.

THIS ISN'T SO BAD.

NO, BABE. YOU KNOW, IT'S THE FAN.

THE FAN MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

YOU KNOW, I BET YOU IT'S RAINING IN CANCÚN RIGHT NOW.

PHEW. DODGED THAT BULLET.

HEY, HEY.

CHECK OUT ALL THIS STUFF.

OH, WOW, THAT'S NEAT.

YOU GOT A STARFISH, AND A CLAM SHELL, AND--

OH! OH, MY GOD.

GO WASH YOUR HANDS.

AH, THAT OCEAN IS REFRESHING.

FAN ROCKS, HUH?

FAN ROCKS.

LIFE'S GOOD.

YEP.

NO! NO, NO. COME ON, DAD. JUST COME AT ME.

NO. COME ON, I GOT THIS GREAT NEW MOVE.

JUST COME AND TRY TO KNOCK ME DOWN.

OK, OK, OK.

AAH!

OH, GOD, I'M SORRY!

WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHIN', I--

DAD KNOCKED ME ON MY HEAD.

VERY NICE! HE MADE ME DO IT!

WHAT HAPPENED?

SEAN ATTACKED THE BOY.

NO, I DIDN'T. COME ON, COME ON,

GET UP, COME ON, COME ON.

AAH! AAH! OH!

OH, GOD.

DID YOU LIKE THAT? THAT WAS MY MOVE.

PRETTY COOL, HUH?

THAT WAS BRILLIANT.