Original subtitles

My name is Ivan Burrows.

I once hunted vampires for a living.

I tracked two vampires named Sugar and Spyce,

hoping they would lead me to their master,

the queen vampire, Morella.

I killed Spyce, but I had personal business with Morella.

Spyce.

When I was just a boy,

she almost killed my father.

Part of me wishes she would have.

- Dad?

Instead, she turned him into

this horrible little freak,

but he was still my dad and I loved him.

I wanted to help him.

So he and I got our of revenge on Morella.

- what's wrong with me?

What's happening to me?

Marvin.

The only problem with the plan was

that I didn't make it.

I know what you're thinking.

If I am dead, how can I be narrating this story?

Sit tight, it gets even weirder.

- Bitch.

♪ Silence ♪

♪ Is torment ♪

- This is a nice room.

- Yeah, if you like crack houses.

Hey, didn't you see the sign?

We're not supposed to have pets in the room.

- He's not a pet, he's our friend.

- Yeah, he still gives me the creeps.

- Don't say that, he can hear you.

You'll hurt his feelings.

- Okay.

I'm sorry, Marvin.

What did he say?

- Said, "Apology accepted."

- You sure? It sounded like he was insulting me.

- Marvin? Never.

- Right.

I don't know about you two,

how you can understand each other and everything.

- Aw, don't tell me you're jealous.

- No, it's just...

Ow

Watch the fangs. - Sorry.

Oh, don't forget the bag in the trunk.

- Yeah, I got it.

Little Rock.

Little Rock, Arkansas.

I know. Who would have thought, right?

I hope it works, too, Marvin.

- Damn, I forgot how heavy this thing is.

- Be careful.

I'm being careful.

Are you sure this is gonna work?

- Marvin and I were just talking about that.

I'm not sure of anything, but we've got to try.

Marvin and Ivan helped save us from Morella,

the least we can do is try to return the favor.

- This all sounds pretty crazy to me.

- Thanks for coming with me.

- Like I had anything else going.

Besides, you're pretty convincing.

- Rise and shine.

- Still not used to this sleeping all day stuff.

- Just because I have to doesn't mean you do, too.

- Well, if I'm up all day and you're up all night,

we'd have no time to be together.

- Well, just say the word honey,

and you could be just like me.

- No, thanks.

- Sure?

- Yeah.

- If you were like me, your diet would be a lot simpler.

Nothing like starting the night off with a breakfast

of type a positive.

- Hey, Marvin.

- He's hungry.

Look in my purse.

- This is all you've got.

- Give it to him.

- Then what am I supposed to eat?

- We have to get going soon, you'll eat on the way.

Hey, help me with this.

He looks peaceful, doesn't he?

- Peaceful?

The guy's turning zombie on us.

It's just temporary until we can revive him.

Sure this is going to work?

- I told you, I'm not sure of anything, but we have to try.

And fast.

Ivan's cross has led us this far.

It's like a divining rod, only instead of water,

it finds blood, a special blood.

The only chance we have of bringing Ivan back

is with the blood of the clan leader.

Morella used to be the head of the bloodline,

the oldest one.

With her gone,

this should guide us to the new leader of the clan.

I still don't get why we can't just use your blood

to bring him back.

- I told you honey, my blood isn't strong enough.

I haven't been a vampire that long.

We need to find the clan leader,

which would be easy in his true form.

- True form?

- Once a vampire gets strong enough,

they can change into a monstrous creature anytime they want.

Otherwise in their human form, they can blend in anywhere.

So keep your eyes peeled.

- It's pointing out the window.

- It stopped.

It's not spinning anymore,

that means the clan leader is inside.

- What, just like watching the dancers?

- Maybe he works there, or she.

Maybe there's more than one vampire.

Remember, Morella used to have us dance at the club

as bait to lure victims.

- Great.

- It's gonna be okay.

♪ Yeah, another man has no time ♪

♪ To devote, but there is no time ♪

♪ Gonna need someone ♪

♪ Shed the light on me ♪

♪ Just one way out ♪

♪ One way now ♪

♪ She's tired of sleeping ♪

♪ She's not streaking ♪

♪ She's run amok ♪

♪ And never around ♪

♪ She wants to change ♪

- Hey, this place isn't too bad, huh?

- Hi honey.

Would you and your lady care for a lap dance?

- Uh, yeah, maybe we...

Um, maybe later.

♪ Gonna need someone ♪

- Come fine me when your ready, sweetie.

- Just remember what we're here for.

I don't want any of our money ending up

in any of their g-strings.

- Okay.

Let's go.

Thank you.

- Excuse me, may I speak with your manager?

- Yes, he's right in that door.

♪ And starts drinking ♪

♪ He was in love ♪

♪ And that was what went down ♪

♪ She wants to change ♪

♪ There's just too much pain ♪

♪ She was strong ♪

♪ And fell asleep at night ♪

Hey.

- Hey.

- How are you?

- Good, how are you?

- So, are you lost?

- Lost? No, uh...

No, no- - Right here.

So maybe you, uh, just didn't see the sign.

- Yeah, I don't think I saw the sign up.

It's my head, I'm sorry.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Yeah, I guess I'll be right back after the bar, huh?

- It's good idea.

Okay.

- Have a nice night.

Hello?

- Don't be shy.

Come in.

- Are you the manager?

- My dear, I'm the owner.

- Oh.

Sure keep it dark in here.

- Light is such a drag sometimes.

Except when it shines brightly on a pretty thing like you.

- Oh, thanks.

I'm Sugar.

- But of course you are.

- I was wondering if you were hiring any new dancers.

- I've always got room for another beautiful lady.

Do you wanna audition?

- Any time, you name it.

- Right.

Let's check my schedule, shall we?

How does right now sound?

- Oh.

- Unless you need time to get ready.

- Now it's fine.

But I'm better with music.

♪ Ah dum ditty dum ditty dum ditty dee ♪

♪ Ah, come on, kids, take a walk with me ♪

♪ There's a giant possum with a human head ♪

♪ And if he sees you, you'll be dead ♪

- If you wanna see more, give me the job.

But I make my own hours and I don't tip out.

- I can see you're no shrinking violet.

- What night can a girl make some money around here?

- Tomorrow, that is if you feel like coming in, of course.

- I think I can make it.

♪ He's tired of thinking ♪

♪ He starts drinking ♪

♪ He was in love ♪

♪ And then his love walked out ♪

♪ She wants a change ♪

♪ There's just too much pain ♪

♪ She was strong ♪

♪ And then her strength ran out ♪

♪ My folks would seem to say ♪

♪ Another man has our times- ♪

- Hey stranger.

You change your mind about that lap dance?

- Oh no, thanks.

- I don't see your lady friend around.

Why don't you and I share some private time together?

- I gotta go.

- You really are a hard sell, aren't you?

- Yeah, sorry.

- Are you sure I can't change your mind?

♪ Mind went out ♪

♪ Mind went out ♪

- Oh, oh!

Oh, great!

Why don't you watch where you're going?

- I'm sorry, sir, are you all right?

- How do you get down there?

- Well, that grate goes to the sewer.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- Did you drop something down there?

What was it?

Oh, never mind.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. - Forget it.

- Something wrong?

- No, I just dropped something down the grate.

- What did you do, Boris?

- Nothing, I swear.

I would just trying-

- You clumsy dolt.

Go wipe down the mirrors.

- Yes sir, right away, sir.

- I'm really sorry about that.

He can be a pain in sounds but

he has been in the club since it opened.

I feel a certain responsibility towards him.

Well, I do hope it wasn't anything valuable.

Club will be more than happy to compensate.

- Forget it.

- Well.

Please stay and have a drink with me on the bar.

- Thanks anyway Mr. Cacaru.

We've gotta get going.

I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

- Oh.

What's going on?

Drink this?

Fuck you!

Why don't you just sell yourself, you sick fuck?

I'm not scared of you, you prick.

- Are you certain you're not scared of me?

- It wasn't my fault, he slammed into me.

He was a freaking klutz.

- I'm not blaming you, it's just...

Don't worry about it.

It'll be okay.

- But if we don't have the cross,

how are we supposed to find the leader of the bloodline?

- The cross got us to the club,

it'll have to be good enough.

- But I wonder if he was a customer

he might not ever come back.

- I don't think so.

That place is a great source for fresh meat.

I bet it was somebody who works there,

we just have to figure out who.

- Great.

- Hey, don't look so down.

I have a sneaking suspicion.

- About what?

- About us.

- Us?

I'm just worried that...

I think we may just be smart enough

to pull this off.

- Well, I'm worried that you're working there.

- But why? It isn't as if I haven't done this before.

- I'm not talking about dancing, I'm...

It's just with a king vampire out there somewhere.

- Does my strong man wanna protect me

from the big, bad wolf?

- Oh, come on, you know what I'm talking about.

- Why don't you see if they have

any other job openings there?

You used to DJ at my old club.

You never know, maybe they could use an extra hand.

- Yeah, DJ.

With both of us working there together,

you might be able to find out the vampire quicker.

- If we don't get a sample of that blood soon,

we may never be able to bring Ivan back.

- It's okay, Marvin.

We'll bring back your son.

Tomorrow I'll go in first thing before you get up.

You might be right, they just might have an opening for us.

- Very nice.

Only a few more to go.

- Poor slob.

- I asked you one thing.

I asked you not to do that.

I'm kidding. - Yeah, obviously.

- Whatever.

- Hey, everything okay? - Yes.

Hi stranger, you're working here now?

Yeah, I guess so.

My name's Dex by the way.

- Lena.

- You all right?

- Yeah.

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

It's just been a weird night is all.

One of the dancers was killed last night.

- What?

- Yeah, they found her body off the interstate.

She was a friend of mine.

- Listen, you shouldn't even be at work

after something like that.

- I didn't find out till I got in tonight.

I'll be okay.

I'll take some money from those losers out there.

It'll take my mind off things for a while.

Don't think you're getting any free lap dances

now that you're an employee.

♪ I'm insecure ♪

♪ I hate myself ♪

♪ So I take it out ♪

♪ On someone else ♪

♪ I sleep all day ♪

♪ I piss in a cup ♪

♪ So no one knows ♪

♪ When I wake up ♪

♪ It's another perfect day in hell ♪

♪ It's another perfect day, oh well ♪

♪ I channel surf ♪

♪ To find a childhood friend ♪

♪ I'm in control ♪

♪ Like Superman ♪

♪ My hair is gray ♪

- Another satisfied customer.

I've be watching you, you're knockin' 'em dead.

- Oh, I'm not so sure abut that.

- Don't be so modest.

You're a star in the making, a true headliner.

Lena is our beacon right now.

♪ It's another perfect day, oh well ♪

♪ It's another perfect day in hell ♪

- She's like a shark out there.

Our main attraction.

Pretty soon that could be you.

Keep up the good work.

- No no.

You're the boss, I'm the employee.

Let's not be inappropriate.

♪ Here it was ♪

♪ Look how obscene ♪

♪ Do you say ♪

♪ Keep me clean ♪

♪ What goes on ♪

♪ Every day ♪

- How was your night?

- I can't complain, how about you?

- Just peachy.

I only had to clean up about six gallons of vomit.

- Sorry, did you find out anything?

- Did you hear about the murdered dancer?

- It's all anybody's talking about it.

- Yeah, just talked to Lena,

she's pretty broken up about it.

- That's hard to believe, she's the original ice queen.

- Do you think she's a clan leader?

- I just don't trust her.

- Yeah well my money is on that creepy Janos.

- Just keep your eyes open.

- You too.

♪ Oh well, oh well, oh well ♪

♪ It's another ♪

Boris, what the hell are you doing?

- DDSS.

You know, different day, same stuff.

Hey, don't tell the boss you caught me

taking a break, okay?

- No sweat.

- Hey Dex, I wanna say I'm again about last night.

You know, when I bumped into you.

- Boris, if you wanna be sorry for me,

be sorry that I got this job.

I don't know how you do it.

- What do you mean?

- Boris, this is a pretty thankless job.

You're mopping up a titty bar.

- No, gentlemen club.

- Whatever.

If you wanna take pride in your job, go ahead.

- I take pride in it 'cause every time

somebody tells the boss that Visions

is the cleanest, classy establishment in town,

that means I did my job and I'm gonna keep my job.

We're in the business of selling fantasy at Visions.

That's what the boss always tells me.

Hey, speaking of boss, I gotta be clean his office.

- Hey, let me do that for you.

You sit down and enjoy your sandwich.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, it's about time I started taking pride in my job.

Okay.

You know, I got a feeling

about this new girl, Sugar.

- Yes, she is something special isn't she?

- That's not what I meant.

- What do you mean?

- She shows up out of the blue at this point in time.

Don't you find that a bit convenient?

- Okay, we'll do it your way.

Keep an eye on her.

Oh, and make sure Boris cleans that carpet after closing.

Our floor out there looks like a downtown smutshop.

- Yeah, I'll get right on it.

- What's up, hun?

- I almost got caught snooping around Janos's office.

- His office? Are you crazy?

- Listen, he has a small refrigerator that he keeps locked.

- What's he keep in there?

- Bottles of red liquid that he drinks,

that he wants no know what to find out.

- You mean like my bottles?

- Sure looks like it.

- Okay, listen, head back to the motel.

I'll catch a ride and meet up with you later.

- But Sugar, listen to me.

- Don't worry, I'll be careful.

Love you.

- You, too.

Sorry I didn't knock.

- Don't be concerned.

I thought everybody had left for the evening.

- Well, I was heading out but...

Do you have anything to drink in there?

I'm kind of parched.

- Sorry girl, all out.

- Oh.

Well, no worries.

I was just coming to thank you for hiring me.

I had a great night out there.

- No, no, no, no, thank you.

Another hot lady can only help my business.

- Well, thanks again.

- Ow!

- Oh.

Sorry.

- That's some hickey.

- Here, let me help you with that.

It's just a little blood.

I'll see you tomorrow night.

I invite thee back from eternal death.

With the first blood of the line

I call thee back to the world of the living.

Come back to us, Ivan, and relish this new life.

- So what happens now?

- Give it a minute.

- I don't think it's working.

So, why isn't he coming back to life?

Did you do it right?

- Yeah, I did it right.

At least I think I did it right.

It means Janos isn't the leader of the clan.

- Then who is?

- That's good stuff.

I knew you'd be a tasty one the minute I saw you.

Add another one to the tally, Janos.

- You only need two more, then you'll have 10,000.

- It's taken a long time,

but I'll finally achieve what Morella never could.

I'll be invincible, unstoppable.

Are you sure you don't want to try some of that?

- I'm sorry Marvin, we'll bring back your son, I promise.

- Are you sure that's a promise you can keep?

Sorry.

So, if Janos isn't the vampire,

maybe he might know who is, he's one weird cat.

- Maybe.

I still think it might be Lena.

- It just seems weird that a vampire

would work in place with all those mirrors.

- Hun, that's just in the movies,

we need mirrors to see our reflections.

- That's right.

Ivan been told me you're a vain bunch.

- Guilty as charged.

- But the dancer that was killed last night

was Lena's friend.

If Lena's a vampire, why would she kill her friend?

- Honey, evil vampires have no friends.

They have helpers, they have associates,

they have familiars, but they have no friends.

What better way for Lena to throw suspicion off of her

than to kill a supposed friend?

- I guess, but she just doesn't seem like the type.

- Do I seem like the type?

If the vampire is racking up victims,

it means that he or she is on the quest

for complete immortality, like Morella.

Once they reach 10,000 victims,

they can't be destroyed, ever.

- That's how the legend goes anyway,

but how do we know it's actually true?

- Do you really wanna find out?

- Good point.

Wait a second.

Vampires can't go out during the day, right?

That's not just movie bullshit.

- Yeah, so?

- I just might be able to find out something.

It's probably nothing,

but I don't have to go to work until late tomorrow.

I'll go check it out before I go in.

- Okay, but we don't have a lot of time left to look.

If we don't bring Ivan back soon, we won't ever be able to.

I'm sorry Marvin, but you may have to come to terms

with the fact that we might not be able

to bring your son back.

What?

It's worth a shot, I guess.

- What's worth a shot?

What the hell are you two talking about?

- Marvin thinks he might be able to sniff the vampire out

if he can get close enough.

- Well then he would have to get into the club,

how are we gonna do that?

- Leave that to me.

♪ Never listens to their pleads ♪

♪ The lover in their pain ♪

♪ They had a larger offering ♪

♪ They'd be killed in your campaign ♪

♪ We prey upon their fame ♪

♪ Let the golden winner down ♪

♪ And you liberate ♪

♪ And you educate ♪

♪ I see several in your painful eyes ♪

♪ I feel like we keep rolling down ♪

♪ This never ending street ♪

♪ Well, he's coming for us and I don't believe ♪

Hello?

Back here.

♪ Yeah, with my abilities ♪

♪ Is this a better way ♪

♪ Prey and prey upon their vein ♪

♪ And rub the wild man down ♪

♪ And you do it endlessly ♪

- Yeah?

- Can I help you with something?

- Oh hey, I wanted to ask you about

that tattoo you have out there.

The one with the heart and two fangs.

- You got a good eye.

Where you want it at?

- What?

Oh no, no, it's not for me.

I actually don't think I could ever get a tattoo.

- You faint at the sight of blood?

- Faint at the sight of blood.

That's funny.

No, I mean, you gave that tattoo

to a friend of mine, Lena.

Do you remember her?

- Oh, how can I forget?

She's a hot one.

- Yeah, do you remember when you gave it to her?

- Maybe a month ago or so.

I can look it up in the records.

- No, no, what I mean is when did you give it to her?

Did you give it to her during the night

or did you give it to her during the day?

- And how is it any of your business, Dex?

- Oh, hey, Burke, what are you doing here?

- Now, you do know that the club has

a no fraternization policy, yes?

- Yes.

- Dancers do not date employees, yes?

Then why are you asking questions about Lena?

Are you stalking her?

- Stalking her?

No, that's stupid, Burke.

- Yes, it is.

You're weird, Dex.

Watch your step.

- I'm really not that weird.

I was just...

- Leave.

- Can you believe it?

He was such a sweet guy.

- What's going on?

- Didn't you hear?

Last night they found another drained of blood.

- You mean like the dancer the other night?

- Well, her, and a lot of others.

What others?

- Honey, they've been finding bodies in the swamps

around here for years but it's like this time

the killer doesn't care about being caught.

It's creepy, I almost didn't come into work.

Who was it?

- Just a customer who used to come in,

he was a great tipper,

but Lena used to hog him all to herself, the bitch.

- So what'd you find out today?

- Zilch.

I'm not cut out to be a private eye.

How's Marvin doing? Is he...

- On the case.

- I gotta go.

♪ Take care of me ♪

♪ Like I never had it ♪

♪ Sometimes I think ♪

♪ It was never mine at all ♪

♪ So, take a walk ♪

♪ And walk with me ♪

♪ Breathe the poison ♪

♪ That I breathe ♪

♪ Wait a minute ♪

♪ Look at me ♪

♪ Can't you see ♪

♪ That I'm just a fan ♪

What's wrong?

- It's Marvin. He's out cold.

It's like somebody knocked him upside the head.

He made it back to the bag before passing out.

Look.

- Looks like he scratched somebody

to get the blood and put it in this shot glass.

- You think it's the leader of the bloodline?

- Whoever it is has some serious scratches.

Well, see you tomorrow night.

- Sure.

He didn't have that limp earlier.

- You think maybe he has some new scratches?

- I'm sure.

- Here, take Marvin home and get started on the ritual.

- What? I can't do that.

- Sure you can, you watched me do it earlier.

- What are you gonna be doing?

- I'm gonna follow Burke.

- Wait a minute.

- Look, this isn't just about bringing Ivan back to life.

Once we find out who the clan leader is,

we're going to kill it.

- I'm not gonna let you.

- Don't worry, I'm just going to follow him.

I'll keep in touch.

I've gotta go before I lose him.

- Hey Marvin, it's good to see you up and moving around.

Your head hurt or anything?

I don't know what the hell you're saying.

I hope I'm doing this right.

Invite thee back from eternal death.

With the first blood of the line,

we invite thee back to the world of the living.

Come back to us, Ivan, and relish this new life.

Nothing's happening.

Maybe that wasn't the blood of the clan leader either.

Okay, okay.

I know, it's probably my fault.

I probably did it wrong.

Jesus!

- Hey, kid.

Where am I?

- Little Rock, Arkansas.

- What the hell am I doing in Little Rock, Arkansas?

- It's a long story.

- Hey, Dad.

What the hell is going on with me?

- How do you feel, Ivan?

- Like shit, stiff as hell.

Like I've been laying in the wrong position

or something for a long time.

Last thing I remember was you and me

went up to the mansion and I killed that vampire Spyce.

And Dad and me, we made that plan

to kill Morella, the bitch.

But before she died, she...

- Yeah, I know.

- But if she killed me then what am I doing here?

- Marvin's been sad ever since-

- Since I died.

You can say it, don't be shy.

- Yeah ever since he died, right?

We wanted to help you out.

Sugar felt obligated to.

- But if I was dead,

the only way to bring me back is...

- Yeah.

- You didn't.

Ivan.

- Wait a minute.

You turned me into a vampire.

You turned me

into a vampire. - No, no no stop it.

Hey, hey, hey, stop it, stop it.

Listen, I- - You're a weasel!

A god damn myth! - Please, stop it.

Stop it, okay?

- What do you want me to do?

Thank you?

Give you a juicy kiss?

- I thought you would like it better than being dead.

- Are you kidding me?

I am dead.

Vampires are the living dead, hello?

I made it my life's work to fight vampires,

to wipe them off the face off the earth.

It was my life's profession to kill vampires.

I hate vampires.

I hate 'em more than rats.

I hate 'em more than cockroaches.

And you turned me into one.

- You might be able to still kill vampires, Ivan.

- I can't even hold onto a cross.

What's a vampire hunter without a cross?

- I'm sorry.

- You're sorry, all right.

You sack of shit.

I won't be able to go out during the day.

I have to learn to enjoy the taste of blood.

Maybe you'll be the first one out I'll chomp on.

How would you like that?

- No, no, no, no, wait, wait.

I was just trying to help.

- I'm gonna have to eat a lot of raw meat.

Vampires like meat, the raw kind.

And I'm a vegetarian.

- Uh, you were a vegetarian.

- Please. - I'll take you out.

Listen Ivan, I'm sorry, I really am.

- It's okay, kid, I probably shouldn't be mad at you.

I should be mad at Sugar.

She's got this crazy idea that blood suckers

don't have to be evil.

She'll probably want me to turn into

a goody two shoes vampire like she is.

Where is she, anyway?

- Show me the plaid.

- I really like it on you.

I'll try them all on.

- So, are you Cupid?

- I try to be.

- Yes you do, don't you?

- I do.

Unbelievable.

Oh my God.

- Hey, what?

- Sugar, it's me.

Why are you whispering?

- Honey, I'm at this place, um, Cupid's Lingerie.

Listen.

It's like we thought, Burke's the vampire.

- What?

And I think he's gonna kill this girl.

- Sugar, you gotta get outta there.

- I gotta go.

- Sugar.

- What's going on?

- She tracked this guy to a place called Cupid's Lingerie.

We think he's the clan leader.

- Clan leader?

Ah, you guys are really in the shitter.

- She told me she was just going to look around.

If she finds an evil vampire, she'll kill him,

I guarantee it.

- We gotta help her.

- Okay, kid.

But don't think I'm not still pissed off at you.

Where's my bag of tricks?

Are you forgetting something?

Let's roll.

- Lena!

What are you doing? Let go of me.

You're one of them, too.

- You were just in time for the phone, sweetie.

Looks like he got her.

- She said on the phone that there was another girl here.

- Looks like he got her, too.

We can track him.

- What's wrong?

- I'm a vampire now.

I told you I can't be around crosses.

We'll need the tracking cross to find him.

You will have to get it out of the bag for me.

- Right, the tracking cross, about that.

- What?

- I lost it.

- You lost it?

- Yeah, but it wasn't my fault.

The janitor slammed into me. - Kid, save it.

Save it.

Let's see what else we got in here.

Stakes.

Mallet.

Holy water.

- Here, you take it.

You'll be safer that way.

Garlic powder, you might be able to use that too.

- Right, right.

I'm supposed to sprinkle on this,

on myself to mask my scent, right?

- Right, that's right.

Vampires have heightened senses.

The smell of human is very distinct.

Hey, kid.

Take a little word of advice, so what's your deodorant?

- Like you're any sort of spring days, either.

- Fuck off.

Wait a minute.

Looks like Sugar got one good lick in.

If we can get closer I might be able

to track this vampire's scent.

- But how do we start?

- The vampire needs a place to sleep during the day.

- That could be any place in town.

- No, it's a place with character.

Old school, rusty character.

- I'm here to help.

You can't have her.

- I don't want her.

- You're the clan leader, Marvin scratched you.

- It's not my clan.

And nobody bit me.

- I saw you limp.

- It's a feeding injury.

Air's up when full moon comes out.

I told Janos not to hire her.

- That's because she's cute.

Are you jealous?

- I'm not jealous of her.

The bitch scratched me.

You'll survive.

- I knew she was gonna be trouble from the beginning.

- But you didn't know she's a vampire, did you?

Neither did you.

- Please, no, please.

No, no!

Please!

- That one's just for food.

You're gonna have fun with me- - No, no, no, no!

- Before you die, sweetie.

- You know what they call a vampire orgy?

A fang bang.

- Touch me, I'll bite the fucker off.

- You have such a dirty mouth.

Please stop.

Please!

- There's nothing you can do to help her.

You better think about saving your own pretty little ass.

- This places is tailor made for blood suckers.

You see those trunks over there?

They make great vampire coffins, I've seen it before.

You can could hide a whole coven of 'em in there.

- What's the plan?

- You better let me find the clan leader

and take care of him.

Won't want you to hurt yourself.

- But we have to help Sugar.

- Okay, but don't do anything stupid.

Hey.

You forgot the garlic powder, stupid.

This sucks.

- You better not hurt her.

- Or what? You'll kill me?

- I'll punish you.

- Oh, I might like that.

- You won't like this punishment.

- Just shut up - Trust me.

- You owe me one, girl.

- I didn't even smell him sneaking up on me.

He must be using garlic powder.

- I'll say.

It smells like a four course Italian dinner.

- You can smell him?

You're not a vampire?

- Of course not.

- What were you drinking in your office?

- My office?

Oh.

You mean this?

- Cranberry juice.

Why did you keep it locked up?

- I like my cranberry juice.

- Well, if you're not a vampire,

why are you hanging around all these bloodsuckers?

- Vampires always need people to help.

Go out during daylight hours,

watch over them while they're asleep,

sort out their daily business.

- Pick up our dry cleaning.

- Very funny.

- Oh, I'm just kidding. Did I hurt your feelings?

I don't know what we'd do without you, Janos.

You're such a good little human.

- You sick pup.

No, please.

Please stop, stop.

- Oh, very good. - No, let me, no!

No.

No!

- Very nice, indeed. - Please.

- What about the others? - No!

- I have them.

When you're ready, do it!

- Holy fucking shit.

- I told you not to hurt her.

- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

- 9,999 bottles of beer on the wall.

The next one means immortality and invincibility.

And you know what the legend says about what happens

when they take a vampire for the 10,000 victims?

- What?

What happens?

- Nothing happens.

I'm just messing with you.

- Let's go.

Not you, Janos.

Stay here with him.

- How come I have to miss out on all the fun?

- 'Cause you're human.

- Is it considered cannibalistic for a vampire

to feast on another vampire?

Well, perhaps you're right.

It doesn't really matter, does it?

Prepare her.

The full moon is nearly risen.

- Oh, well done, my darling.

- I told you to stay inside!

- But I wanted to watch.

Besides, he's not going anywhere.

It will be fun to make him watch.

See what we do to his girl.

- Agreed.

As always, Janos, you have a flair for dark entertainment.

- Who are you?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

How rude of me.

- Boris?

- What better place to hide than in plain sight?

A vampire as old as I am,

can change- - Oh, I know, I know.

Monstrous form.

But Morella was as old as you,

and she never turned into a monster.

- Of course not.

She preferred her human form.

She was beautiful, but let's face it.

Would you wanna go through eternity looking like this?

I prefer my monster half.

It's more commanding, more powerful, don't you agree?

- I see what you mean.

You don't want to go through life

looking like a fat dumpy slob when instead you could have

a puckered asshole for a face.

- Lets get this over with, shall we?

Yes, master.

- Bring him closer.

I want him to see everything I do to her in garish detail.

Of course, master.

- Look at that.

A pint-sized vampire.

- Pint-sized?

I'm a vampire hunter, you fuck.

- Stop him!

You have got to be kidding me!

- Come on, let's go.

- You need to go, I can handle this.

- You're crazy, if you think I'm le-

- I love you, I want you to live.

Please, go.

- No way am I let- - I can handle this, go!

That was touching.

Really.

If they gave acting awards to vampires,

you'd be thanking the Academy right now.

- I meant everything I said to him!

- Then say it again, but this time say it me.

Say I love you.

- I hate you.

- Now, that I believed.

But believe me when I tell you that I love you Sugar,

I love all of my enemies.

After all, I made you.

- Ivan.

- They're all dead, except for the girl.

- Should we kill her, too?

- Let's not kill her.

Let's punish her.

♪ Walks in and no emotions ♪

♪ You're a perfect fantasy ♪

♪ So real, dark devotion ♪

♪ You're breaking all the rules for me ♪

♪ Cold touch in a soft machine ♪

♪ Cool lips and jet black hair ♪

♪ They said they made you from my dreams ♪

♪ It wasn't just a nightmare ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ Living in oblivion ♪

♪ Darkness is gone ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ You'll be my pleasure victim ♪

♪ I'll be your deep desire ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to seek them ♪

♪ I like your bureau power ♪

♪ Walks in and no emotions ♪

♪ I'm your perfect fantasy ♪

♪ So real, dark devotion ♪

♪ I'm breaking the rules for you and ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ Living in oblivion ♪

♪ Darkness is gone ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ We're living oblivion ♪

♪ We're living in oblivion ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ We can't go on ♪

♪ Living in oblivion ♪