All language subtitles for A Breed Apart

- All
right, people, let's-

- I should have
listened to my agent.

I just stepped in dog shit,

and it got between my
toes, and it's humid,

besides some dog shit.

At least I hope it
was dog shit.

Ugh, seriously, I don't
know what else can go wrong

with this picture.

Hey, I am, I am trying,
I really am here.

I'm holding on for dear life,

but it's like this
universe has it out

for this project or something.

What?

Hey.

- So you emerge
from the darkness.

You're being chased by
a cavalry as hounds.

As you get out to the field,
the cavalry of hounds,

they engulf you, and you
reach your hand into the sky,

just as they come upon you.
- What?

- And there's-

- That is nothing like
what we rehearsed,

nothing like what we rehearsed.

What are you
talking about, what?

Like, I am all about, like,

action, okay, and-
and- and I really am,

but we have to be,
like, it's gotta be-

- Fuck my life.

- Controlled. Controlled
authentic, okay?

Nobody wants to die here, okay?

Now, you know I love dogs, but
these dogs are super weird-

- These dogs?
- Something's off.

- You mean our dogs?

- Yes.

- Our dogs wouldn't hurt a fly.

- Are you kidding me?

Have you checked in with
the craft service guy?

- Yeah, no.

- Okay, well, let me
let you in on something.

They couldn't
reattach his finger.

He's down to nine,
so completely,

please, come up with some plan

where I get to leave here
with 10 of my fingers.

- The only plan
I know is the one

where it looks like
you're getting mauled,

and that's why your
wardrobe is tailor made

for this kind of heroism.

- Fuck, what about the blood?

Is the blood okay for the dog?

- Yeah.

- It's been green
lighted by the vet

and everything?
- Yes, it's top-shelf organic

pig's blood, I had
it right here, okay?

This is, like, a five star
Michelin meal for these guys.

- You're kidding,
right, pig's blood?

Pig's blood, are you
fucking kidding me?

- No.

- So- so you want to
bathe me in pig's blood

and send these dogs after
me and to attack me?

Are you, are you, that's it,

you know-
- Look, this has gotta be

final, they've gotta have

real hunger, okay?
- No, I can't take anymore.

I am done.
- If they're not drooling-

- That's it, wrap it
up.

- Montoya?

- Maria?

Come on, Maria.

- Montoya?

Montoya?

Montoya?

- Maria?

- Marco!

Marco?

- Marco?

- Maria.

- Hector!

Yeah, dude, and I am bringing
five content creators, what?

Five top content creators
to come to this island

to save these beautiful mutts

and give them the boozy
influencer lifestyle.

I am Willy Wonka with
the Golden Ticket,

and the hot young Timothée
Chalamet Willy Wonka,

not the old, creepy one.

I'm bringing these digital
dynamos to this island

and I'm gonna say
their names

- Right now, drum roll.

- First on the list.

for the next generation
of busy ladies.

And that's how you dominate
your morning ritual.

- Vince
Ventura mentioned you

in his live stream, play video?

- Play.
- Play.

- First on the list, the
unparalleled Killer Queen.

You and your life
hack, beautifully meta.

Next on the list-
- Hell, yeah.

- Big Farmer.

- You gotta check this out.

- Hey, man,
don't you see

Big Farmer Jay dropping
some tasty bars?

- It's super fresh.

But so is this.

Vince Ventura.
- Big Farmer Jay.

- He's inviting
you to a private island.

- Yo, Big Farmer Jay, I can't
wait to bask in your energy.

- Dope.

- And next, our very
own toxic peacock, Mason Kelly.

- Vince Ventura, it's about
time you recognized real talent.

- You flip a bird to bureaucracy

with every block
you chain, brother.

- I made it!

- But don't get too comfy
in your little ego mansion,

okay, Mason, don't get too comfy
in your little ego mansion.

There are a couple
more people coming,

the Shenanigan siblings, Violet
Femme and Collins Cleverly.

- Who the hell are they?

- Hey, yo, V, come on.

Get those knees up,
move a little faster.

Come on, we're lagging
on our live stream.

- You're the one who was late.

- Well, I was busy
securing our future.

Mystics, the vape company,
they're in for 10 grand.

- Collins.

- Hmm?

- Our viewers are kids.

- That is precisely why
they chose us, Violet.

Those kids are the
18-year-olds of tomorrow.

- Hmm.

- Nice tattoo design.

Hey, you know there's
an app for this, right?

You just, like-

- Dude.

- Snap it and done in,
like, three seconds flat,

but no shade, that's um,

that's actually pretty legit.

- Okay, first of all, fuck you.

And thank you, I guess,
I kind of like it too.

- You ready to make some magic?

- Can you just give me a second

to shift from tortured
artist to click bait clown?

- Not everyone can
pull off what we do, V,

and that's, like, the
definition of art, right-

- Well, I'm
pretty sure it's not art.

- Yeah, well,
it's also keeping the lights

on here, so, you know,
let's raise the bar

and brighten up the
room a little bit-

- Ooh, ooh, what
fresh hell is this?

- The "Not My Arms" Cake
Decorating Challenge.

- Ooh, no, I am the arms.

- Nope, you're
vertically challenged.

Your face would be out of frame.

Look, art is what we
make of it, all right?

- Philosophical
gems from the star

of my pits on your pendulums.

- Well, try not to
kill my good vibes

when we're about to go live
in five, four, three, two.

Hey, y'all, we're gonna do
something totally insane.

We're gonna see if we can
decorate the beautiful cake

and have Violet
eat it in today's.

- "Not My Hands" Cake
Decorating and Eating Challenge.

- I will not just be
decorating this cake,

but I guess now eating it too.

- But why are we like this?

It's not gonna be Violet's
hands doing all the work.

No, no, no, no, it's
gonna get crazy, crazy.

- Oh, don't forget
the sprinkles.

Mm, it's so good.

- Hey, hey, Violet.

What do the fans think of
our performance so far?

- Oh, "internet
royalty," thanks, guys.

- Internet royalty.

- Yeah, sure, we'll take it.

- Two thumbs up, baby.

- And, oh, an invite to
Vince Ventura's island.

Sorry, we can't make it
'cause we're skydiving

with Elon Musk.
- No, no, no, no.

Hold on, dude,
that's fucking legit.

Oh, yeah, that's from
the GOAT himself.

- Oh, mm-mm.

- Yes, yes.

- Looks so great.

- It's almost iconic.

- That's a good-looking
group right there.

Aw, man, Thalia,
you're the shit.

- Yo, mad love, for real.

I'm just out here
sprinkling some vibes,

hoping you guys
make viral history.

All right, come on, follow
me to the promised land.

- Let's do it.

- Let's go pet some puppies.

- I see you with
the flashy jet playboy.

- Well, that country
swag a little extra, yo,

but if that's your
jam, I don't judge.

- It kind of sounds like you do.

- I ain't tripping on
it, little mama.

- Who are you two, again,
the Chamois siblings?

- No, no, no, we're the-

- Actually, nevermind.

- We're the Shenanigan siblings.

- I don't care.

- Yeah, we just crossed

four million subs
last month, actually.

I listened to your podcast
about pulling back the wallpaper

on the financial facade, like,
that shit was dope, dude.

- Thanks, bro.

- Yo, Farmer dude,
check this out.

That's my calling coin, a key
to the Mason Kelly kingdom.

Scan that QR code
and bam,

you're one Bitcoin richer.

- Oh, that's lit.

- What, you guys didn't know?

Bananas are, like,
natural bug shields.

If you had watched my vids,

you'd be clued into
this already, but hey.

- That peel mixed with

your perfume smell
like banana pudding.

Damn, now I want
some banana pudding.

- Yo, guys, peep the
flip side of the island.

That's where we're laying
down a track system

for our trams,
pretty dope, right?

- It's popping.

- Yeah, everyone, see
that boat down there?

That's gonna be the
Vincetopia party barge.

It'll take people
from the city straight

to this slice of paradise
of ours for tours.

- Hey, when do we get
to meet the man himself?

- Oh, dude, Vince is just maxing
and relaxing, island-style.

He is counting down the seconds

'til he gets to meet you guys.

Oh, hey, look, there
he is now, my man.

- Whoa.

- Nice.

- Mm-hmm.

- This is huge for us, V.

- Hola, my special guests.

Welcome to Vincetopia.

That's right, I
colonized this bitch.

Give it here, give it here.

- Dude, we gotta
live stream this shit, ASAP.

Hey, do you have wifi here?

- Hey, yo, Vince,
your boy wants to know

if you got the wifi hooked up.

- I can do you one
better, my boy.

I got my own cell tower.

- That's fucking dope.

- Look at that, I call
her the Iron Giant,

'cause she makes me cry
every time I watch her.

It's gorgeous,
it's built by kids.

That's legal here.

Oh, but guess what, you guys?

You can't use it!

- Huh?

- Come on, dude,
that FOMO will turn

into JOMO, I promise.

That's Joy of Missing Out,
it's trademarked, come on.

I'll give you all the
dirty deets later,

but for now, no one's
touching my sacred wifi.

- It's going up.

- He's saving his sacred wifi
for that special someone.

- Look at this place.

It looks like a tropical resort.

- Wait, how
did you engineer this?

- Did you
engineer this yourself?

- Yes, the resort is
just the beginning.

Wait 'til you the see beautiful

doggy paradise this
island will become.

It's a gorgeous aerial
view, you guys.

Oh, look, look, look,
look, look, right there.

- Hello, future citizens.

- What, they're
fucking wild dogs?

- I can't wait to meet you.

Behold, these canines
are the backbone

of our little viral odyssey.

- German shepherds?

- Mm-hmm, yes, I see the depth

and nuance like a fine
bourbon, impressive animals.

- Good eye.

- Look at you, looking
all lush and plush.

Oh, you my special
little fluffy-

- Easy, easy, easy,
cowboy.

They'll be your best
friends soon enough,

but for now, let's go
enjoy some hors d'oeuvres.

- Let's give it up for
Vince, everybody.

- All right, cute
dogs, let's go.

- Give it up for Vince.

- I'm like the
Oprah of dogs.

- She gotta go to the bathroom.

- Waivers and IDs.

- Right this way.

After you, my dudes.

But never poop inside
there, don't poop in there.

After you.

Enjoy yourself,
Vincetopia awaits.

- Huzzah, you didn't think I'd
leave you hanging, did you?

Feast, feast, my
internet gladiators.

- Hey, are you wearing
the new Gucci robe?

- That's actually Yeezy's
Messiah Collection.

So down the hall,

you'll find your own
private chambers of slumber.

Tomorrow morning, we brunch
and unleash the real magic.

Until then, Thalia and I
have some groundwork to lay

for the main event,
so do me a favor

and stick to the indoor
shenanigans for tonight,

all right, indoor
shenanigans, au revoir.

- That food look good.

- Ah, there she goes.

- I do this for a living.

You know how many animals

I have to wrangle up?
- You wrangle dogs

for a living?

- I wrangle cows.

- Tell me what you think

about our fellow
icons of the internet.

- I feel like we've dropped down

into the carnival of crazies,

and Mason Kelly is
the guest of honor.

- Yeah, he's not exactly
YouTube friendly, huh?

- Vince Ventura, oho, I
don't trust his judgment.

No, a kiddie pool
has more depth.

- Oh, that was pretty cold, V.

Okay, how about
we pivot to something a bit

fluffier?

- Huh, the dogs?

- Thoughts?

- Oh, I think they should stay,
and we probably shouldn't.

- Yeah, well, yeah, you're
always way more team cat

than dog squad, huh?

- No, I love the dogs.

I just think the whole
setup is sketchy.

- Oh, nah, nah, oh, hey, yo, no.

This is the fucking man, okay?

He's throwing so much
money into this island

to give these dogs a paradise.

- It was their paradise before
his bank account showed up.

- Hey, yo, what's up, Violet?

You all good in the 'hood?

- Yeah, I'm just gonna step out

for a breath of the great
outdoors, you carry on.

- Okay, but didn't Vince
issue a no go, she already.

- Man, she don't give a.

- Aw, you're still up, huh?

Hey.

You don't like being locked
in this cage, do you?

I wish I had a treat for you.

Okay, nope.

Oh, fuck, Collins.

- I was trying to snag
this moody shot of you.

I figured you'd moseyed-

- You scared the shit out of me.

- Hey, check it out.

- Let's check it out.

- You were so serving
final girl energy here.

- Eat a dick.

- Wow, this is, like,
mad homophobic, Violet.

- As if being stuck on
Vince Ventura's version

of "Survivor" isn't
shitty enough,

you're now hiding
behind the trees,

acting like a little
creeper, gathering content?

I love ya, but I quit.

- Wait, wait, wait,
whoa, whoa, so what,

you're just gonna
go back to your cave

and draw some pictures
for the maddening crowd?

- At least in my cave, I don't
have to bend over for likes.

- Look, this is
our shot, Violet.

You're always saying
you want to make a mark,

this is it, #savethedogs.

- Well, that just
sounds like more risk

and click bait to me.

- Hey, come on, stop, Violet.

We could sway millions, gain
followers, earn trust, like,

that's all influence, and-
- It's suffocating for me.

- That shit counts
for something, right?

- Literally, what you are
describing is soul sucking,

and I have had plenty of
that ever since I got a bar

that I have to manage
that's falling apart,

and I'm managing your
dreams, and I'm managing you.

- Me?

Cool, so what am I,
some dreaded task

between paying bills
and existential dread?

- Like, crafting
content from the comfort

of our little
studio, that's cool,

and I'm cool with
that, but diving

into the vapid creator circus,

it's just, I can't do it.

- All right, so look,

maybe everyone here
is a little eccentric.

But they're as real
as it gets, Violet.

It's okay to like them.

They have their anxieties
and ambitions, same as you.

I mean, have you ever considered

that maybe you're
just a bit jealous

because they're living life
to the fullest and you're not?

- They're as real as it gets?

They're as real as it gets?

They're as real as it gets,

and you're saying that I
have some psychological issue

that's keeping me from growing

into a real two-dimensional
creator, just like them?

Okay, let me just try this out.

Hi, world, it's me, Violet,
live from the intersection

of Botox and bleached assholes.

Drop your dignity
in the comments.

What's up, blockchain believers?

On this episode of the Bro
Bible, we'll teach you how

to throw Bitcoin at
bitches, and we guarantee

they'll either put out or
shut up.

Don't forget to smash
the like button.

Dude, if that is your definition
of life to the fullest,

that is so fucking bleak.

- Oh, man, I should have been
recording on that, Violet.

Damn, that-

- Shut up.

- Performance was gold.

- Shut up, dude.

- Oh, major missed opportunity,
yo, "Oh, oh, duh, duh."

- Shut up.

- V.

- Yeah?

- What- what's your play,
like, what are you gonna do?

Are you gonna swim
back to civilization?

- Yeah, I'm gonna swim back.

No, I think Thalia's
my ticket out of here.

- Thalia smells like Starbucks,

sunscreen, and weed.

- Collins.

- Please, just chill.

Come on, just give it one night,

just one little night
for me, one night-

- Okay, fine, fine, tonight.

But if I find myself the star

of some sleep shaming reel,
you are dead.

- V, I wouldn't dream
of doing that to you,

but, but, yes.

If tomorrow's a flop-

- Uh-huh?

- We bounce together,
all right, deal?

Deal?
- Deal.

- All right.

This is so good.

- These are
good, right here.

- All right, hand
me that, hand me that.

- Actually,
I have a question.

- Good morning, squad!

NDAs are signed?

- We're all clear.
- Yeah.

- I kind of-

- All good, I'm
off to my hideaway.

- All righty.

15 years ago, this island-

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, so are
we gonna start hugging trees

and crying about global
warming or some shit?

- Mason, you're
really dropping a bomb

on my energy here, so.

- You're right, you're right.

- 15 years ago, this island

that we are on right
now became the setting

for a Hollywood horror
story starring the legendary

Hayden Hearst and a
pack of rabid dogs.

The film was never finished

because the animal trainers
just, poof,

they vanished, never
to be seen again,

and the dogs were
sadly abandoned,

left
to rule this island.

- So is there, like, an animals'
actors guild or something?

- Nah, I tried that once.

I had this capybara.

This motherfucker was,
like, a thespian genius.

- But they wouldn't let
him get his SAG card,

something about no shrews
policy or some shit like that.

- Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

Capybaras are rodents.

- Oh, excuse the fuck out of me,

your royal highness
of Rodent-ial ecology.

- Hey, guys, do me a favor.

We're not here to talk
about the capybara paradise.

This is actually about building.

- Is that an A-train?

- That is a sky tram with doggy
dispensaries at every stop.

But this isn't about the
treats and tummy rubs,

though there will be,
there will be a lot of that.

No, this is about
transforming these dogs

from ragged to radiant,

and then releasing them
to live out the rest

of their days in the land
of Milk-Bones and honey.

- Um, can you just circle back,

'cause what are we
supposed to be doing here?

Why are we here?

- Great question.

- Thank you.

- We are here for the Great
Canine Crusade Challenge.

It will be ubiquitous, it
will be part of the zeitgeist.

We will join forces to help
rescue the free roaming dogs

of this island.

It's a race, the twist, whoever
bags the most tail waggers

will be winning the deed
to this entire island.

- Shit.

- And the best part?

I have rigged cameras
all over the island,

which I will
personally be editing

into an epic eight-part saga.

- Shit, hey, I'm in,
I'm in, you got me.

- Hold up, I'm trying
to understand this.

So you are turning a wild
dog chase into a reality show

under the guise of
animal activism,

when really, it's
just about the clicks.

That's what I'm hearing.

- Well, I mean, the
clicks are just the gravy.

But since we're on
the topic of subs,

I guess let's dive into it.

Whether or not you are the one
that snags the grand prize,

you will be a
winner, regardless.

Once we finish this video,
we will be premiering it

across the globe exclusively
on your channels.

- Yeah, yes.

- So you will be riding a
sort of subscriber tsunami.

It'll be a sort of, you
know, a success explosion

in three, two, one.

- Boom.

- Boom.

- I'm with that.

- Hold on, for real?

- Yeah, for real.

- You think I'm gonna play
wild dog catcher out there,

out in that fucking jungle?

- Mason, buddy, brother.

You're our alpha wolf.

- Facts.

- What's up, yes.

- All right.

- Big Farmer Jay, buddy,
you're our animal expert,

and Killer Queen, your
hilarious little life hacks are

definitely gonna come
in handy out there.

- Oh, they're not
supposed to be funny.

- You made a sushi roll
kit out of a dildo.

And Violet Femme-

- My god, now my
name's gonna be linked

to a dildo sushi roller
for the rest of my life.

- Your straight
shooting persona,

mixed with Collins' effervescent
Matthew McConaughey energy,

it's like lightening
in a bottle.

- Well, thank you so much.

- One of those dogs
tried to

bust out of its
cage last night and bite me.

- Wait, what?

- For real?
- What?

- I specifically said
no nighttime strolls.

- I think you're
missing the headline.

- Okay, listen.

Do you want to win a
fucking island or not?

- It was, like, foaming
around its mouth.

I think it has rabies.

Are you a vet?

- Whoa, whoa, timeout, timeout.

Are we talking rabies here?

Because that's a game changer-

- I don't tangle with
no rabies, big dog.

That's some serious shit.

- They're not monsters,
what are you so afraid of?

They are puppy dogs.

Just come out, come on,
I'll show you, all right?

Let's meet the pups,
these rabies monsters.

Right this way,
follow the sausage,

the one in my
hand, not my pants.

They get a little bit groggy.

It's the morning, dudes.

Give them some time to wake up.

Aw, there's our little baby.

Hi, baby boy, they're so sweet.

- Yeah.

- Sweet, that's the noise
they make when they love you.

Hi, little puppy
dog. See, guys, here.

- Oh, letting them out?

- See?

Whoa, whoa, okay, okay,
all right.

We call this one Spike, see?

Hi, Spike, you want a, he's
a good boy, he's a good boy.

See, he's nicer than I remember.

Hi, Spikey, who's a good
boy, who's a good boy?

Who's a good
homeless jungle dog?

- Oh, shit.

- He's just got his
ass eaten out by these-

- Shit.

- Go, go, go, go!

We gotta get in,
we gotta get in.

- Oh, my god.

He's gonna bust in.

- I'm done, I'm done, I'm out.

- Is that door gonna hold?

Not much longer.

- Maybe we ought
to block the doors,guys.

- He's dead.

- Oh, shit.

- Do you hear them?

- Oh, god, he's out there.

He's out there somewhere.

- Yo, Farmer
Jay, be careful over there.

It's a sanctuary and safari,
an adventure rolled into one.

- Hey, do
you see anything?

- Here,
dogs of every shape-

- Farmer Jay,
do you see something?

- No.

- Inviting you
to join them, join them-

- Is it locked?

- Stay right
there, stay right there.

- Oh, fuck.

- Come on.

- There's
nothing out there.

- You sure?

- Oh, shit, hmm mm.

- Oh!

Oh, oh!

- Oh, shit.

- Collins, watch out!

- Violet, oh, my god.

I got it, I got
it, I got it, hey.

- Collins, move.

- This one is for Vince,

you motherfucker.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- What are you doing?
- Chill!

- Shit!

- Oh, shit!

- You motherfucker.

- Collins, Collins!

- Get the fuck off!
- Get him, get him!

- Get the fuck off me!

- Get
him, get him, get him,

stupid motherfucker, go!

- Mason!

- Don't just
fucking stand there.

Let's go, get out.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go!

- Let's go
to the wine cellar!

- Collins!

- Collins, get the fuck up!

- What the fuck?

- No, the dog's fucking
him, the dog's fucking him.

- I do not consent.

- Stop fucking my friend.

- Hang on, I have an idea.

I have the fire extinguisher.

Get ready for the
smoke show, bitch.

- Let's go!

- Hurry up!

- I'm trying to move fast.

Come on, Collins.
- Hey, what's that?

I don't even know what that was.

- Come on.

- What is this shit?

- Lean on me.

- Pretty good,
it's not that bad.

- Quick, we need
to sterilize it.

Oh, my god.

- Look, here, use this.
- Oh, you're bleeding.

- We gotta Hawk Tuah
sanitize that thing.

Shit, I'm helping.

No time for niceties, bro.

- Anybody got a
rag or a shirt or something?

- Here, take this.

- Thanks.

- So Thalia's the only person

that got connection with
the outside world, right?

So we ought to
holler at her and see

if she can get in touch
with the Navy SEALs,

or Seal the singer,

somebody to help us get
the fuck up out of here.

- Does that hurt?

- But how are we
gonna get to her, bro?

- Hey, window.

- Great idea, but we're
gonna need some weapons

or something to fight them.
- True.

- You know what, yeah, this
nine iron would do real good.

Pow, bitch.

- Oh, my god.

- Mason.

- What's wrong with you?

- What the fuck, man?
- Here.

Give me that shit.

- This some Secret Santa shit?

Man, your ass is crazy.

Come on, man, hoist me up here

so I can see if I can
get a lay of the land.

- Okay, all right.

- Come on.

- Yeah, what do you see?

- All right, hold on.

- You see anything?

Shit, you're fucking heavy, bro.

What do you see?

- Oh, careful.

- Come on.

- You got it?

- Bro.
- You need some help?

- Guys, keep it down.

- 'Cause you ain't
light, bro, what do you see?

- What's
going on, you see anything?

- Keep it down.

- You see anything?

- Hey, big fella.

How you doing?

Easy, bitch.

Ahhh!

- What the
hell is going on up there

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Are you good?

- I didn't mean to do it, oh.

Oh, shit, oh, no, oh,
no, oh, no, no, no.

Reel me in, reel me in.

Come on, come on, come on.
- Okay, okay, okay, everyone.

- Come on, pull me, pull.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no!

- Oh, shit.

- Sorry, buddy.

- It almost bit
my goddamn face off

- It's all right, get up.

- You good?
- You're good, you're good.
- Fuck.

- That was stupid.

- It's a
wild one out there

patrolling the perimeter.

- How far is
it to Thalia's from here?

- What, you think
you're gonna outrun a dog?

- Guys, I'll go.

- Yeah, good one.

- Actually, I can go with her.

- Sure you can, dude.

- Yeah, me too, I can move fast.

- All right, look, we're
gonna have to, like,

run interference, okay?

I'll set up a distraction,

and that way you'd be able
to move around them.

- You gonna be okay

back there, buddy?
- Hang on, I have an idea.

We need a distraction.

- What the fuck is this?

- Oh, shit, all right, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I see what this is.

- Mm-hmm.

Why do you get "Game of
Thrones" wine bottle bandolier

and I'm stuck milking Pikachu?

- Just make sure you don't do
it in the fucking house, man.

- I know, I know, I'm
not a fucking idiot.

- The jury's still deliberating
on that one, playboy.

- Oh, shit, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck, that hurts, my ankle.

- Just sit down.

- No, it's, my ankle's fucked.

Here, I'll just hold it
down here and you go.

Just come back for me.

- Okay, okay.
- All right.

- I swear to god, bro, I'm out.

As soon as I get out of here,

I'm getting a one way
flight, I don't give a shit-

- Shut your ass up.

- Man, you shut the fuck up.

What?

- Oh, oh.

Go, go.

Hurry up, stupid.

I think he saw me.

- Get down.

- Oh, fuck.

- Fuck.

- Psst, go, go, go, come on.

Fuck, be quiet, fuck.

- Go, go, run!

- Quick, we gotta hide!

- Oh, my god.

- Well, if you want to
catch the eye of the dog,

you gotta give them a
performance they can't ignore.

- What are you talking about?

- All right, all right.

- I gotta hook you up
with my boy, Giuseppe, yo.

- Nah, I'm cool.

- Are you sure?

He cooks in the lab.

- This shit ain't working.

- Oh, shit.

- Hey, I got something
for your ass-

- Abort, abort!

Eat this, eat this.

- Oh, shit.

Bingo.

- Let's go, get
to the cell tower!

- Ugh.

Oh, that smell.

- Oh.

Oh, oh, thank god.

- Okay, don't get closer to it.

- Oh, he's so cute.

- That innocence has
an expiration date.

- I could totally be its, like,

rehabilitation
coach or something.

Oh, God, God, get
it off, get it off!

- Oh, my God.

- Kick it, kick it, kick it!

- Oh, shit, I just
kicked a puppy.

Huh.

- Okay, what's the rule of
the wild here, play dead?

- Okay.

Very slow, back away.

- Hey, big fella.

- Hey.

- Oh, easy.

Easy.

- Okay, let's just let
him go where he wants to go.

- Can dogs push buttons?

- Bitch, please.

- You can train them
to do a lot of things.

Oh.

Run!

- Come on, bro, come on, run!

Great shot, fuck, they're on
their way, let's go, hurry up!

- All right, all right.

- I don't got no more weapons.

- Faster, faster, they're
on my ass, come on,

come on, move your feet.
- All right.

Should throw, throw something
at them, do something.

You got anything, huh?

You got those big-ass
arms, just use them.

- Get off me, right,
come on, get your.

- Okay, okay.

- Do you want a treat?

Oh, does my little
baby want a treat?

Oh, I'll give you
some nice, yeah.

Oh, who's a sparkly
boy?

Oh, you want to be brushed?

Oh, you want butt
scratches there?

Oh, I'll give you
some, oh, woof.

Woof, woof, woof, woof.

You want sparkle,
sparkle.

Oh, you're so happy.

Holy horse-dick.

- Hello.
- What's us.

- Wait,
guys, where's Vince?

- Jesus.

- Spike just went full-on
Hannibal Lecter on Vince.

- Yeah, well, yo, you're yanking
my chain right now, right?

This is, like, some
straight-up chain yankage.

- Just swing back,
come on, I got you.

Come on, yes, yes.

All right.

Oh, fuck.

- You're the only
one with a connection

to the outside world, so you
need to just stop playing

and call someone,
like, now, please.

- Dudes, dudes, this is,
like, typical Vince shit.

- Oh, fuck dystopia, I
gotta get back on the phone.

- Same, I need to get
back to my phone, bro.

What are we gonna do about them?

- Watch, watch, watch.

Yo, Vince, dude,
nice try.

Any bright ideas now?

- Yeah.

- This is so classic,
man, this is so-

- Yeah.

- Hyah!

- Eat it.

- Got his ass.

- This is, like, some
next-level shit, dog.

- It's working, it's working.

- Where'd they go?

Are you scoping 'em?

Bro?

- Sweet Jesus.

- It's straight up not
in the rule book, fam.

- Collins is in the wine
cellar and he's hurt.

You have to call
the helicopter now.

- Fucking call someone.

- Shit.

Bro, bro, this fucking
thing is moving.

- Fine, I'll make the call.

Oh, shit, man, great timing.

I think I have to reset my
network settings or some shit.

- Oh, shit,
oh, no, no, no.

Be still, be still.

- Fuck this.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Buckle up, buttercup.

- What you doing?

- Bitch.

- Whoa!

- Oh, yeah, I don't think

the network settings
is the problem.

Mason and Big
Farmer Jay boned us.

- Dude,
that's vandalism.

- What idiots climb
up a cellphone tower?

- Someone with a death
wish, that's who.

- It's fucking on time.

Get fried, you little fuckers!

Ah, that's right.

- Hold on.

- We gotta help them.

- What's that?

- Flare gun, baby.

Either we scare them
off or we light 'em up.

Either way, it's a win win.

It's about to be lit.

- A flare, seriously?

- Eh, oh, well, it's a
little fail city over here.

- What's next, a
strongly-worded letter?

- What the fuck?

- I think I just gotta,
like, aim a little higher.

It's physics?

- Yeah, sure.

- Yeah, it's,
like, some physics.

This is it, all
right, here we go.

Oh.
- Oh, shit!

- Oh!

Not the kind of fire we
were looking for, man.

- Maybe I overshot that one.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I think astronomically.

- At least we got rid
of those dogs, bro.

- Oh, we're going down.

- Holy shit!

No!

- Oh, no!

- Oh!

- Do you think I killed them?

- Yeah, that- that
seems probable.

- Oh, shit, where are
we supposed to go?

- It's swim time,
bro, do or die.

- You out your
motherfucking mind.

I'm not jumping off that.

- The drop's not even bad.

We just need to
lead ourselves off

with a head start, come on.

- When I die, I'm
gonna come back

and I'm gonna whoop your ass.

- Okay, I'm, like, 65% sure
this isn't even suicide.

You got this.

- Listen, I'm gonna
whoop your ass!

I'm gonna whoop your ass!

- Wait, what?

- Oh, yay.
- Nice.

- Well done, boys.

- Oh, whoa.

- I don't got this.

- Bro.

- I don't want to do it.
- Bro, your leg!

- What?

- Your fucking leg is on fire.

Whoa.

- Oh, and he just
jumped.

- Oh, maybe dead again.
- Oh, shit.

- Oh, oh, oh, shit.

I nailed that
shit, son.

Come on, man, enough
thinking and more jumping!

- Come on.

- I got you-

- Stop splashing on me, bro.

I gotta move my legs.
- Yeah.

- All right, as soon
as they hit the deck,

we out, zero dilly dally.

- Hold up, we gotta
go back for Collins.

- Oh, shit.

I mean, yeah, I, my brain, I.

- Hey, how fucking high are you?

- Hey, dude, you know what,
dude, slow your fucking roll-

- Hey, Thalia, what's
up, you pyromaniac?

- You know what's not up,
dude, my damn data tower.

That's what's not up, so
calling for that helicopter,

not happening now, man.

- Yo, are you for
real right now?

You've got no bat phone,

no old-school hand
radio tucked away?

- No, bro, everything
ran through

that one glorious data tower.

- Okay, well, if
you have an antenna,

a bidirectional amplifier,
and some RF cables,

I can whip up something that
might do the trick,

but do you got any of
that, like, stashed away?

- It's not, like, I
for sure don't have any

of that stuff stashed
away anywhere.

No, the only way out
of here is gonna be

through the Vincetopia
party barge-

- What, where?

- What the bummer is
is that it's, like,

way on the other
side of the island.

- Yeah, there's a
bunch of hell hounds

between here and there.

- Nothing to it but
to do it, am I right?

- Whoa, hey, you guys
are forgetting something.

Okay, first we have to get
Collins out of the cellar.

- Oh, shit.

Okay, okay, the bummer
is that the cellar

and the boat, they're in, like,

two totally opposite directions.

- True, true.

- Hey, tough break
about your bro.

But chances are he's
already dog meat.

Let's cut our
losses and fuck off.

- Please do fuck off, Mason.

I am not leaving
without my brother.

- Go ahead, we're
out like trout.

Thalia, give me the key.

- No, man, that's not very cool.

And by the way, you don't
even know where the boat is,

so super great
plan, bro, really.

- Okay, well, what if we
head back to the mainland,

grab a posse, and make a
triumphant return for Collins?

- Yes, that, so Thalia, the key.

- You don't
have to listen to him.

- Don't be an asshole.

I'll give you a few Bitcoin
for your troubles, huh?

- Oh, you a scammer.

- No, no, you can't slap a
price tag on my conscience, bro.

- Y'all need to stop
fucking arguing.

This is what we fucking do.

Violet and I, we rolling out.

The rest of y'all just
hold down the fort

'til we get back here
with Collins, all right?

- Like some chick's gonna
hold me back anyway?

I'm getting the
fuck out of here.

- Are you fucking kidding me?

- Prick.

Well, I'll stay here with Thalia

and keep an eye on that asshole.

- Okay, and there's a
golf cart in the shed,

so you should be able to
haul Collins back with it.

- Perfect, let's get this
shit show on the road

while them damn canines out
there still licking they balls.

- Hey.

Don't die and shit.

- You too.

- I'll be upstairs.

Keep the energy contained
down here, assholes.

- Whoa.
- Oh, my god.

What the fuck is your problem?
- I bet your dick is so big.

- Fucking huge.

- Bye.

- Oh, he dead, dead.

- My sister's
gonna be so mad.

She's gonna have my ass.

I mean, she's just gonna
go fucking nuclear, dude.

- The universe dealt
us a shitty hand,

but you didn't shuffle the deck.

Vince's death is not
on you, all right?

- She specifically warned me not

to come looking for this place.

Once the media gets
a whiff of this,

it's gonna be paparazzi 24/7.

It's just gonna
be, like, a total-

- Yeah, I- I think
you're catastrophizing.

I don't think the
media is gonna be-

- I'm not, it's, my
sister's Hayden Hearst.

Like, tabloid dynamite,
Hayden fucking Hearst.

- Come
on, hurry up, kids.

- Thank you.

- Here you are,
you caffeinated majesty

- Oh, thank you.

- Hey, Hayden.

- Can this wait,
we're about to roll.

- I really think
you should see this.

- Spike just, like,
leaps on him, right,

starts ripping on him-

- Good God, Thalia.

- He just goes, like, Hannibal
Lecter on his ass.

- What, is that a prank?

- I don't think so.

- Ms. Hearst,
we're ready for you on set.

- Be right there!

- So he's still
in the basement?

- Was that
blood here before?

- No, that's fresh.

- Collins, you down there?

Oh, shit.

- Well, he gone now.

- Collins?

- Oh, hey, sis.

Farmer Jay, hello.

Do you guys have
the wifi password?

- I sure do not.

- This is just some
overcooked Insta-fuckery

to sell a new line of Vince
Ventura's Scooby Snacks,

or some other nonsense.

- I know, but this is
where the video cuts off.

- Ah.

- Only ones with the-

- Apparently Vince invited
a bunch of content creators

to an island, I don't know
what they were doing there.

- I do, dammit, Thalia.

- Here you go, here they are.

- What are you doing with
the doggy downers, buddy?

- I'm just starving.

- Yeah, what are you taking?

Hey, hey, Collins,
what are you taking?

We have to go.
- A little bit of this

and a little bit of that.
- We have to go.

- If you keep munching on that,

then we're gonna
be here forever.

Come on, we cannot be
late, we're gonna be,

we're gonna be late.
- Farmer Jay.

- Hey, buddy, hey-

- We're gonna be late for what?

- The boat party.

- I love parties.
- Yeah.

- There's a rumor that Vince,

he might not be living anymore.

- You say not living
anymore, as in?

- Among the living now.

- Like, dead?

Have you called Thalia?

Call Thalia.
- I tried calling,

but it went straight
to voicemail.

- Fuck me.

- Hayden told me
about her crazy experience

on "The Breed," and.

- I can't believe Hayden
fucking Hearst is your sister.

Ugh, she's just, like,
the epitome of badass.

Sorry, I'm, like,
a nervous talker.

- It's okay, we all
have our quirks,

you know, mine is
chronic anxiety.

- All right, assholes.

The time is up.

- Bro.
- Geez.

- Let's roll.

- Bro, you've been hitting the
sauce there pretty hard, huh?

- Oh, oh, god.

Geez, dude, chill out.

Oh, god, that's fucking nasty.
- Ugh.

It was like a whole
bouquet, oh, my god.

Jesus Christ, you're gross.

- Yeah, you think
you're better than me?

- Hey, dude, get off me.
- Just give me it!

Hey, ow, shit.

- Come on, why are you
making this harder?

- Get off of me!

- Hey, what the
fuck are you doing?

- Here, I got it.
- Get off of me, get off.

What, no, you can't-

- Get off
of her, get off of her!

- It's mine!

- I
told you to stop.

- Nice.

Hell, yeah.

Oh, god, that's nasty.

- Honestly, god, bro, those
were my freaking snacks

and you wasted
them, man, fuck you.

- You're dead!

- Just give me back the
key, just give me the key.

- Nobody fucks with Mason Kelly.

- Holy shit.

- Put the gun down.

It's crazy.

- Shit, key!

- Move, move, move!
- Come on, we need the key.

- Let's just go, go, go, go.

- Get back here!
- Let's go.

- Where are you
going, you asshole?

- Oh, shit,
Mason, watch out!

- Collins.

- Hold up, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Whoa,
whoa, chill, chill.

- Get in!
- Whoa!

- Slide over, I
know these roads, trust.

- Hello.

- Goddamn, you look like shit.

- Hey, do you know
the wifi password?

- Mm-mm.
- Aww.

- Yo, where's Mason Kelly?

- Dude's toast, man,
like, burnt toast. - Huh?

Wait, what- what happened?

- A dog got him.

- And the boat key.

- Well, ain't that
about a pearl on pig shit.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, no, fucking shit, no.

Fuck, the motor gave out.
- Yo, why you stopping?

- You gotta push it.

- I got it, I got it.

- Okay, I'll help.
- I got it.

- You guys got this!
- Go!

- You got this,
you're doing great, man.

You look great, your
muscles, they're bulging.

You look awesome, thank you.
- Come on.

Push, go.

- Push it, let's go.

- Hey, Farmer Ted,
push us farther.

- That's great, man.

- Farther and faster.

- Just
a little further.

- Dogs, dogs, the
dogs are coming!

- You've got
this, you've got this!

A little faster.

- Shit.

- Let's go!

- Man, how much more
of this bullshit

we gotta go through before
we get to this damn boat?

- I could tell you, man,
but it's gonna bum you out.

- Pump the gas.

- This is the gas.

- Getting closer!

- Okay, grab a moonshine bottle

and aim for the
center of that bridge.

You light it up.

Fireball rocketing in three,

two.

- Oh, it's you.

- All right, go.

Yeah, blaze and go!

- See you in
hell, motherfuckers.

- Sick. Hell, yeah.

Okay.

Okay, we're here.

- Is this the shit
Vince was rambling about

from that whole movie?

- Yeah, pretty cool, right?

- The Universal one was cooler.

Look at this cage,
it's ripped to shreds.

- Dude, the fact that Vince

and you even stayed
alive long enough

to drag us into this mess
is a statistical anomaly.

- When we first
got to the island,

the dogs, they were,
like, super shy, man.

They kept to themselves,
it was chill.

- They became
extroverts real fast.

- Well, a little while

after we started
construction on Vincetopia,

the dogs, they got, like,
a little bit aggressive,

and one dude got bit.

So we had to stop construction

until we could wrangle
the rest of the dogs,

and you know Vince,
he's always looking

for the opportunity
in every problem, so-

- Jesus Christ.

- We thought we'd
invite you all here,

make a game out of it,

you guys could help us
wrangle the rest of them,

then it's like a win win.
- My ass.

- We'd put
it inside the cage,

the dogs would
come, and then wham,

the gate would slam
shut, easy peasy.

- Is this is the epic
bash you're talking about?

- And
setting off the trap.

- What?
- Yep.

- One
of the good ones.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, before
you guys totally roast me,

just hold on a second.

I brought you here
because I have something

that's a total game changer.

- Oh, what you gonna get,
some old crap licorice

and give it to the dog?

- Ooh, I hope so, I'm starving.

- Aha,
check this shit out.

- Wait, wait, we might not die.

- Well, color me impressed then,

little lady.
- Wow.

- You've got the
stance and everything.

- Okay.

- Wait, is that a
goddamn paintball?

No, you done lost
your goddamn mind.

- What?

I'm sorry, this was

your game-changing surprise?

- This really stings without
proper protective gear.

I build stuff, okay?

- So guys, if you keep
hacking away at each other,

you might as well start
digging your own graves.

We gotta get it together,

and I know this sounds
strange coming from me

since I've been sitting on
the sidelines throwing shade

at the whole fame
game, but, you know,

I was just kind of
petrified that if I dove in,

I'd lose every
semblance of who I am.

And I'll- I'll admit that
when we first got here,

Collins, if you ask me for
the fucking wifi password,

I swear to god.

- I wasn't gonna.

- Then what?

- Hmm, well, nothing.

- When we first got
here, being trapped

on this island, it
felt like a nightmare.

But since then, I see you
for who you really are.

I mean, you're a
crew of mavericks,

and we either fuse
that collective madness

into an unstoppable force, or
we crumble and we fall apart.

The choice is yours.

- Goddamn.

- That was sick, that's sick.

- All right, that was-
- You rock.

- I think you guys
are missing the point

of my- my speech, though-

- Was no one livestreaming that?

Should have
been live streaming that.

- I know, right?

- Hey, I got it from up here.

Does anybody have
the wifi password?

- I'm gonna kill him.

- Hey, do you have any idea
of what's going on with him?

- I, you know, I think it's
just like an infection,

plus drugs, it's
making his ADHD worse.

- Yeah, ADHD-
- Cool, cool, cool,

cool, cool.

- Look like the
sun's about to set.

Thalia's little spit
shooter's not gonna cut it.

- Man.
- He's right.

I say we stay the night
here and come morning,

we scrounge together whatever
we can use to fight them.

- Woof, man.

- Chomp chomp, bitch.

- Let's kill those bitches.

- Does anyone know what the
wifi password is?

- I was really
close to my grandpa.

He had this super
cool, like, ancient car

that I flipped for
cash, dove headfirst

into MacGyver-ing
some life hacks.

- I'm actually a fan.

I pushed Vince to invite
you to the island.

- Oh, thanks, so glad you did.

- Oh, shit, man, I'm sorry.

Seriously, I've been watching
you grow since the early days,

and it's inspiring, dude.

- Thalia, have you ever thought

about following in
your sister's footsteps

with the whole acting thing?

- You know, I tried
with the gaming thing,

but nothing really
stuck until I met Vince.

It kind of gave me
this sense of purpose

that, you know, I never
really had before, man.

- How'd you guys meet?

- Man, like, at my
absolutly lowest,

facedown, sprawled
out in the dirt.

- My god, rock bottom.

- No, it was a shroom
shack in New Mexico.

- That's cool.

- Someone
is a deep sleeper.

- He
is really drooling.

- I might get him a can.

- Well, we'll find
you a can after I detox-

- I think he would have loved

to have been in that
hut with you guys.

- We'll bring him
with us next time.

Once we get to the boat,

we'll have him to a
hospital in an hour.

- Has anyone seen Collins?

- No.

- He was here a second ago.

- Last time I saw
him, he went that way.

- Oh, shit.

Collins?

- Collins!

- Shh!
- Shh!

- I guess I'ma head into the
bush and go hunt him down.

- Good luck, dude.

- Thanks.

- Be careful.

- Shit, I know you
fucking lying. Collins!

Collins!

Man, get your ass over here.

- Hey, Farmer Jay.

- Come here!
- I'm coming, I'm coming.

- You'd better pop it out like
a goddamn jack-in-the-box.

- Sorry, I was just peeing-

- Goddamn.

You all kinds of fucked up.

- Do you have the wifi password?

Do you have the wifi password?

- I have it, it's get
in the fucking cart.

- No spaces?

- All caps, let's go.

- Hmm, I never thought of that.

- I found him.

- Oh, shit.

- Okay.

- I'm feeling omin-tiferous.

- Uh-oh.

- Hey, buddy, you
all right there?

- Do you?

- Do I what?

- Do you know?

- The muffin man?

- The wifi password?

Aw, man, not cool at all, man.

- I don't want it.

- You smell good, Mama.
- No, thank you.

- Okay,
let's not be that guy.

Come on, Collins, I'm so sorry.

- Cool.

- Here we go.

- So this is a thing.

- If we ride into those dogs.

He definitely asked them
for the wifi password.

- Yeah.

- Good to go, yeah.

- Let's go.

- I'm ready, let's go.
- Yeah, let's peace out.

- Holy shit.

- Why are you stopping now?
- Holy shit.

Holy literal shit.
- Why are we stopping?

- Oh, oh, my god, oh, it's just,

it's in the poo, it's
chilling, it's in the poo.

Whoa, guys, it's gonna be fine.

This has gotta be some
sign we're gonna be okay.

- Mm-mm, mm-mm, girl.

Thalia, hey, Thalia.

- Thalia.

- Thalia!

Thalia!

Thalia, Thalia!
- Thalia!

- Oh, shit, hi, Spike.

You're a, you're a good
little dude, right?

You got a little, you
want some licorice?

- Thalia, just get over
here, don't talk to it.

- Looks promising, right?

- It's the best day ever.

- Come on, come on, hurry!

- Come on, go!
- Go, go, go, go!

- Nice, guys.

- Come on, guys.

- Are we going the wrong way,
like, away from the boat?

- Yep, yep, yes, we are.

- Oh, shit, oh, shit.

- Go on.
- Oh, shit.

- Oh, shit.

- Hold on.

- Come on.

- That's right,
I'll cut a bitch.

- Yeah, we'll cut your ass.

Oh, shit.

- Fire it,
fire over there!

- Oh, shit, okay, okay,
V, I see you. YeeHaw!

Damn.

- Collins, come,
Collins, give that back.

Collins, I need that, seriously.

Collins, give that back.

- What's going on back there?

- He took the sickle.

- He can't steady himself.

- Dude!

Dude, dude, why, whoa, why?

- Sorry.

- Oh, man, whoa.

- Collins!
- Oh, man.

- Shit.

- What the fuck?

- Stop,
stop, stop, we can't

leave without Collins.
- Shit.

I'm going in for the save.

- Okay, okay, all
right, get ready.

Are you ready?

Get ready, man, you're
gonna jump, okay?

You've got this, you've got
this, bro, come on, okay.

- I bet
you can't catch me.

- Collins!

- Come and get me, Farmer Jay.

- Hold on, Collins,
wait, wait, wait!

Hold on, bro.

Damn, he's fast.

Come on, man.

- Come and get me. - I'm
too old for this shit.

Join the party.

Hang on.

Hey, you guys promised
me a party, Farmer Jay.

- Come on, Collins, man,

you're gonna get
us killed out here.

Oh, shit, mother.

You look like shit, man.

- Dumb luck.

- Damn.

- Shit, oh, shit.

- Hold on, hold on.

- We're reversing, we gotta get.

It's okay, hold on.

- Thalia,
try to hold it steady.

- What do
you want from me?

This isn't straight road.

- Oh, shit, I lost it.

- This is beyond scary.

- Guys, cliff.

- I have
nowhere to go, I can't.

There's the boat.

Just like I planned
it, this way. Come on.

If I drown, you
gotta get me, okay?

Come on, kick those legs.

- Swim, fishy, swim.

- Swim fast,
faster, swim faster!

- We're gonna
have to climb the ropes.

- Wait, wait,
okay, please, God.

- Go, go, go,
come on, Thalia, climb, climb!

Come on, Thalia, use your arms.

- Come on, you don't
have to buy me dinner first.

Just put your hands
up my ass and push.

- Reach my hand, reach
my hand, come on.

You're so close.

- Hang on,
Violet, I'm coming up there.

Thalia, hang tight.

- Nice, CrossFit?

- Pilates.

Thalia, come on, take my hand.

- You've got this, girl.

Come on, girl, it's
just like gym class.

- I was homeschooled,
though, man.

- Oh, shit.

Come on.

- Come on, please, please just
climb, just climb, come on.

Lift your feet, lift your
feet, lift your feet.

Okay.

Shoot it with the flare gun!

- Eat my flare, motherfucker.

- Oh, my God, Thalia,
thank God you're okay.

- Thank you guys.

- Hey, you okay?

That's amazing, still breathing.

- Please tell me you
still have the boat key.

- Yes.

- Okay, let's go get Collins,

and then we're-
- Fuck, yeah.

- The fuck off this island.

- Yes, that.

- I've been
looking for that.

- Mason, we all want
to get off this island.

I really want to go get
Collins, and we'll go.

- Shit, I want my ear back.

What are you gonna do, huh?

- Dude, you're like a walking
WebMD nightmare right now,

okay, let's just, like, get
back to the mainland, dude,

and figure this all out, yeah?

- I tried to get
us all out of here,

but what did you guys do?

You let me stay with
Cujo's evil twin.

What the fuck is the deal,

fam, huh?
- W- well,

we knew you'd be okay, Mason.

With how strong you are, we
knew you'd make it back safely.

- Yeah, really good job, Mason.

- Yeah, Mason.
- Way to go.

- Dude, how did you get
away from- from those dogs?

- Which dog?

This dog?

Come here, come here.

- Don't take another step.

- Or what?

Sic 'em.

Get them, get them!

- Push the
dog away from you.

- You're in my kill box.

- What?

- I cannot engage tango.

- Cool assault rifle, bro.

Is that a paintball gun?

Wow, I'm embarrassed for you.

- Now, Queen.

Dude.
- What?

- Your arm.

- Grab on, oh, my
God, I got you.

- Help me up, please.

- Hang on.
- Please.

- Bitch, that's right.

- Is that all you got?

- I tried to hold on,
man, I really did.

- I know.

Okay, run. Run!

What the, why isn't it?

God, these dogs take big shits.

Whoa.

- Oh, shit.

- Oh ho ho,
yes, it worked.

Oh, shit, oh, Violet.

Violet!

- Collins?

- Hey, V, there you are.

Hey, shh, shh, shh, shh.

- How'd you get on the boat?

- With them.

I came with them.

- Violet, come back!

- This place is paradise!

- Violet, hold on.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus.

Okay, good boy, oh, God.

- Collins, you're my brother.

It's you and me,

and we are going to get
you back to the mainland.

- Stop.
Here, champagne.

- And you're
gonna get better.

- I know, V.

- Collins.

- Okay, good boy.

- Don't forget to smash
the like button!

- Shit, fuck, faster.

- Collins.

- Ah, what the fuck?

God, that really
fucking hurt, V.

- That guy upstairs,
if I'm gonna go out,

can you make it, like, like,

a little heroic or cool looking?

- You shot my only good ankle.

- Can you make me look cool?

Oh, God, dear God,
somebody help!

No, no, no, no, no.

Whoa, oh, holy shit, dude.

Oh, that was fucking awesome.

- Who's driving
this thing, whoa.

Ow.

- What was that?

- Oh, man.

Fuck!

Fuck, this close,
this fucking close.

- Sayonara, Vincetopia,
it's been real.

- Oh, my god, it feels
good to sit down.

Holy shit.

I guess we're officially
just sitting duck status,

just sitting here, chilling,

waiting to die, I guess, man.

This is my last one.

You can have the big half.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

I guess this makes us friends?

- I'd say we're
friends for life, man.

- Yeah.

If one of those little
fuckers bites me,

I promise I won't go
all rabid on you, okay?

- You planning on being the
world's first vegan rabid human?

- Okay, well, worst case,
you can take that chair,

you can just hit
me over the head

with it super hard, like, WWE.

It'd be kind of dope, actually.

- That sounds so exhausting.

- Okay, yeah, I feel that.

I don't want to make
you work harder.

- Okay, let's do this.

- Hey, hey.

Got it.

Fucking get him.

It's not doing any damage.

It's our last shot, oh, God.

The hull, baby.

Whoa!

- Oh, someone's
coming to help us.

Oh, thank you, man,
thank you, Jesus.

Hayden, Hayden!

Hayden.

- Hey, nice boots, hello.

- Hello.

- Hey, do you have
the wifi password?

- Dude, that's my sister.

- Ah!

- You know, I think if
I had better footwear,

I could do that, too.

- Oh, I think I remember
you, motherfucker.

- God, she's cool.

Hayden, watch out!

Hayden, Hayden!

- Thalia, hang on, I gotta
fuck with this dog real quick.

- Fuck yeah, man.

Holy shit, hi!

- Oh, my god, where the
hell is everyone else?

- It's just my brother
that we need to grab.

- Is he the dude hanging
off the back of the boat?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I had to anchor
him down with an arrow.

- It's a long story.

- Let's go.

Go, go, go, go, go, run!

Faster!

- Oh, Hayden, behind you.

- Play dead.

Let's go.

- Ow!

- Hey,
whoa, whoa, dude.

Hayden, Hayden, you
have to keep your hand

on the joystick, man.

- Are you sure?

- Mm-hmm, yeah, okay,

so the instructor said-
- My hand on that?

Okay.
- You have to put your hand-

- Always this, and the other

one here.
- Are you shitting me?

- Where the fuck are my
sunglasses?

- Okay.

- How'd you know
where to find us?

- Thalia's live stream.

This is fun.

- Go for it, man.
- Pull it.

- All right.

You pull it again.

- Nice, baby.

- Pull it again.

Hell, yeah.

- Whoa.

- Burn, baby, burn.

- It's missing a paw.

- Hell, yeah.

- Wait!

I'm still here, come back!

- Let's make
movie magic, everybody.

- Sometimes, when
I'm making a cake,

it's just a good idea to
spread the frosting.

Whoa!

Could I get a towel?

- Thanks.

- And
can you wipe off,

there's some, there's a
piece of banana on you.

- Obviously, that's what she-
- It's so slippery.

- Come on, think
about it.

- All right, right,
all right, come at me.

- Your mama's a bitch.

- I want to see these dogs
verified on Instagram.

- This feels like a
fucking fever dream.

- What the fuck
is the deal, fam?

- We knew you
would be okay, Mason,

how strong you are, I have,
I have a question for you.

- You need makeup.

- I can read the line.

- My FBO in Van Nuys and tell
him to spark up.

Get sparky, really, she
knows all of my lines.

She should just do me.

Okay, let's go.

- I found him.

- Well.

- I've never felt
better in my life.

- Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.

- Fuse our collective
force of madness together

to be an unstoppable force, or-

- Sorry, guys.

- What, you're
now leaving, guys?

- Inside voices,
for the love of God.

- Audio control
on this jet pack?

- I gotta stop smoking
so much weed, guys.

- I always wondered
that in movies,

When are people
finding the time to go pee?

- Or poop.

There's dogs out there.

- I know.

- So you
have to hold it.

- You went from "Damn,
boy," to "Damn, boy!"

Let's go.

We don't have time for this.

- It's not working.

- Okay, here you go.
- The best day ever!

- Probably gonna be right
where you are, Grace.

- Okay, okay, okay,
sorry.

- Oh, dear, sorry, I'm
gonna take that back.

- My eyelashes.

- So we need to get her

to- to- to call
the Navy SEALs, or-

- Okay,
okay, another towel.

- Go, go, go!
- We gotta go, we gotta go!

- Okay.

- I said the-
- Real fake.

- That was fucking good.

That was good.
- That was goddamn-

- Don't do that,
I'm not into dudes.

- This is shaping up to
be quite the adventure.

- Bro,
you talking to me?

- What a
time to be alive.

- Did you
just say it's edible?

- He did
say it's edible.

- Do you want a
photo or a video?

- Bingo.

- There are
signs, we'll find our way.

- We don't
speak these signs.

- Listen, we will
find our way, but he wouldn't.

- Okay, we
got confidence.

- Y'all probably
already know her

and y'all are
probably gonna send

me a whole bunch of messages.

- Who are we
talking to right now?

- I have no idea
who you're talking to

'cause there ain't
no service, so.

So you can't fall out.

- Exactly,
stay safe, kids.

- None of us speak
Spanish.

Hey, hey,.

- Why you asking me if
I'm okay, lady.

- Welcome to Guatemala.

- Trying to see if I
can get you to lick me, hey.

- Get
it hot and fresh.