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You've been staring at the board now for five minutes.

Will you make up your mind and make a move?

I just don't wanna make a mistake.

Well, you made your first mistake when you sat down to play me.

Is that so? Yes, that's so.

That's what I like,

a nice quiet evening,

a good book

and stimulating conversation in the background.

Adam, did you talk to Roy when you were in town

about his coyote problem?

I knew I forgot something.

I walked right by the sheriff's office and it completely skipped my mind.

I'll talk to Roy tomorrow, I'm going into town.

Hey, Pa, how come all the ranchers don't get together

and offer a bounty on them?

Uh, what'd you say, Hess?

I say offer a bounty on the coyotes.

Probably induce a lot of fellers

to go into the woods hunting them, wouldn't it?

Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll talk to Roy about it.

What's the matter?

It looks different. What do you mean, it looks different?

What can be different?

You got the black pieces, I got the red pieces.

It's the same thing. Come on, make a move.

The dad-burn board looks different.

Now, the board is not different.

Now, don't try to weasel out, if you wanna admit defeat, fine.

But othenNise, go on, make a move.

Hey.

Hey, sounds like hounds baying, don't it?

Yeah. Hey.

Hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Howdy, cousins.

Cousin-- Cousin Muley Jones.

Big as life and twiced as mean.

It's great to see you again, Cousin Muley.

Great to be back.

Cousin Ben. Hello, Muley.

Cousin Joe. Oh, hi, Muley. How are you?

Adam. Ha-ha-ha!

Ha, ha. Oh.

How are you, Muley? Ha-ha-ha!

How'd you happen to come by these dogs, Muley?

I traded a stranger for them, cousin.

Was a real slick trade too.

Traded my whole California gold mine for them there dogs even.

Muley, you traded a whole gold mine for them hounds?

Yeah. Well, to tell you the truth, it weren't much of a mine.

I worked my fingers to the bone one whole month

and barely made eating money. I wonder why.

Hey, uh, Cousin Muley, what'll you take for them hounds?

Take for them?

Why, I just bought them, Cousin Hoss.

Muley, I'll give you $50 and my best squirrel rifle for them.

Well, Hoss,

you're putting a big temptation in me.

But... Well?

I've never had animals like these before

and I think I'd like to keep them.

Oh, Muley, of course you'd like to keep them. And so you should.

Uh, why don't you, uh...?

Why don't you keep them overnight in the barn,

where it's warm and comfortable?

You sure it'd be snug and warm and they couldn't get loose?

Oh, it's snug and warm. It's a beautiful barn.

I'd need a hand to help me, I mean, get them out there all.

You got a hand.

They wake you too? That's right.

Is anybody gonna do anything about keeping them quiet?

Yeah. I'm gonna do something about keeping them quiet.

Well, just do it.

Do you hear that?

Ain't it beautiful? Yeah.

Now, Muley.

Cousin Muley, come here.

I wonder if you'd be so kind as to do us all a favor.

Go out there and quiet those animals.

I'll go out and bring-- Hoss.

Well, Hoss don't have to bother. After all, they are my dogs.

I'll go get them, bring them in. No!

Muley,

there aren't enough beds in the house.

Cousin Ben, are you trying to tell me

that you want me to sleep in the barn with those hounds?

Muley, see, as their owner,

I consider it your responsibility to take care of them.

Maybe I didn't make as slick a trade as I thought.

Hey, he isn't gonna sing, is he?

Muley. Huh?

Keep it down.

Aah! What?

Come on.

Shh. Hey, hey. Quiet down, hey. Shh. Come here. Now listen.

You're gonna get us kicked off the Ponderosa for sure

if you keep that howling up all night.

Now, I'll give you one more song and then it's sleepy time for all of you.

I'd be darned if I'm gonna spend my whole life

just singing lullabies to four bird dogs.

Well, there sit my hound dogs

A-Iazin' around

They're mangy and dirty But I love my old hounds

Now, Floppy's a character

And Filbert's smelling bad

Fargo is a-scratching

Old Blue looks mighty sad

Stop that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love-- Yeah, all right, I love you too.

All right. All right, now. Sit down. Go on.

Be a good dog. That's it.

Quiet.

Please, everybody, quiet!

It's cold out and lonely

Now, no one makes a peep

It's time for us all To turn in and sleep

And so that's my idea.

I had it last night when Little Joe mentioned

them hounds chasing animals.

Yeah, well, last night we all had peculiar ideas.

Just a minute now, Hoss may have something there.

I don't think it's a bad idea. At least it'll keep the dogs out in the fresh air,

maybe they'll get tired enough to sleep at night.

Yeah. What do you think, Muley?

I don't know, Cousin Hoss. Them's bird dogs.

I don't know how they'd take to chasing coyotes.

Well, at, uh, $2 a coyote, maybe they could be trained.

Two dollars?

That's what I'm prepared to pay.

And there's lots of them. I mean, there's lots of them.

This dry spell's driving them all down from the mountains.

Yeah, they're, uh, going after the stock at all the ranches.

I think all the other ranchers would be prepared to pay that too,

if these dogs were properly trained.

It wouldn't take you no time to make enough money to get back home on.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder how them dogs would take to chasing coyotes.

Well, I'll help you train them.

Okay, partner, let's go.

Come on, Flop, Filbert, Fargo and Old Blue.

Well, I think I'll go to Virginia City and talk to Roy,

see if we can get the other ranchers to come in on this bounty idea of Hoss'.

That's a dang good idea of Hoss'. Yeah.

I'm just fixing to go to the Cattlemen's Association,

and I'll suggest to them that they put out some of them bounty posters.

Well, I'm glad you like the idea. I think it's a pretty good one.

How's everything out at the Ponderosa?

Oh, pretty good. Pretty good.

We've got a relative visiting.

Anybody I know? Well, you remember--

Sheriff, could we bother you for a minute?

Heh, well, I'll be getting along, Roy.

You tell Hoss that I'm sure them ranchers

will be obliged to him for his idea.

Yeah, I sure will.

Abner, Tracy. Ben.

Abner. What can I do for you?

Tracy here has been wronged.

By a passing, tall stranger.

By a passing stranger?

He passed by our house, but he must have sneaked back later and done it.

Wait till I get my hands on--

He must know something about animals

because Tracy's dogs never let out a sound.

Just a minute. There's something here I don't understand. How could this--?

Well, I declare, sheriff, you are thicker than molasses in winter today.

I been trying to tell you that a stranger passed by our house,

I saw him go by, and after that my dogs disappeared.

Your dogs.

You're dang right.

What you think I was talking about?

All four of them, trained dogs too.

She's been training them for six months.

She ain't hardly done nothing else, not even cooking.

Oh, shut up, Pa.

Well, what you gonna do about it?

What am I gonna do about it?

Well, I thought that I was the sheriff, not the dog catcher.

Now, if what you say is right about that tall stranger stealing your dogs,

he's long gone by now,

but more than likely, these dogs of yours just took off by themselves

and they're out there somewhere chasing coyotes.

Coyotes? They're my bird dogs.

Spent me months making them nothing else but.

Best bird dogs in the territory.

Don't talk to me about--

I'll let the dogs out as soon as you're set, Cousin Hoss.

All right, Muley.

You ready, Muley?

Flop!

Filbert! Fargo!

Old Blue!

Dad burn-it, Muley.

Them dogs don't know nothing about coyotes.

Well, then we gotta show them.

Cousin Hoss.

I got an idea.

Ah.

There. This time it'll work. Don't you worry.

Couple of days we'll have them hounds

just turning up their noses at birds, little cousin.

Go give them a little sniff. Yeah.

Muley, as I understand it, you want me to run from here to the house,

and the dogs will pick up the scent and follow me, right?

That's the idea, cousin.

Yeah, well, you make dang sure they don't mistake me for a real live coyote

and do a little chewing when they get there, you hear?

Well, now, don't you worry, old buddy.

Why, your cousin Muley will be right behind you.

Yeah. Well, so will them dang dogs,

and don't you forget it neither, you hear?

All right, just go. Come on. Get.

Flop! Filbert! Fargo!

Muley! Muley! Tell them I ain't no coyote!

Get them off of me!

Thanks a lot, Muley. Thanks a bunch.

I'm sorry, cousin.

But you saw what happened, I opened the barn door and--

Yep, I sure did, nimble foot.

Hey, where's Flop?

Well, we made coyote dogs out of them, Cousin Hoss.

Yeah, we sure did,

that is, if coyotes ever take to wearing pants.

Pa, the way I see it,

Sheriff Coffee couldn't find a knife and fork if it was right in front of him,

so you and me gotta handle this in our own way.

I'm telling you we're gonna do this legally.

Are you sure that gun ain't loaded?

When I get a hold of that thief,

he's gonna be buckshot, real good.

Your mother, rest her soul,

she taught you how to cook and take care of the house,

but since she's been gone all you've been doing

is shooting that gun and training them there dogs.

And they've been gone for four days.

If we don't get moving,

that passing tall stranger will be long gone out of the territory.

I don't give a dang.

All I'm interested in is getting some grub in me.

Well, you gonna cook it or are you not?

Oh, all right.

Well, look at that. Ha!

They're getting better and better.

Yeah. Me and you is getting faster and faster at climbing these trees too.

Well, it was you that wanted to train them for chasing coyotes.

Yeah, but I didn't think there was gonna be so much climbing involved.

Well, let's climb down now. That's enough for one day.

You first, cousin.

You, uh-- You go right ahead, cousin. You own them.

And it's so long past their lunchtime.

Mine too.

There's one thing them dogs taught me,

and that was come prepared.

Got me some chicken. Ha, ha.

Yeah.

Ooh. Oh!

Muley. Muley, dad burn-you, butterfingers.

Now look what you've done.

Confound you, Muley.

Hey. Hey, Pa.

What in tarnation you doing down there, anyhow?

Hi, Cousin Ben.

Say, did you see any of my hounds go round here?

We sure got them chasing them coyotes good, Pa.

How many did you get? Two.

Yeah, we'd have got a bunch more than that, Pa,

but they kept pointing at them trees.

If they hadn't done that, we'd have got six or seven, wouldn't we?

I guess two's better than none.

Seen as I get them broken of chasing every bird that comes in sight

why, Hess and me will clean the Ponderosa

of every thieving coyote you got.

I'm sure glad to hear that.

Them coyotes have been coming after our stock something fierce,

and it ain't getting any better, that's for sure.

Uh, Cousin Ben, um,

this is sort of a cash-and-carry type of transaction.

I mean, $2 a head for each coyote.

Yeah, Muley,

I guess it is a, uh, cash-and-carry kind of deal.

Four dollars. Oh, thank you, cousin Ben.

I don't mean to be pushy. No, push--

I mean, it's just, you know, you being so kind,

my pa always told me:

"Just carry the cash load yourself and there never will be no argument."

Uh, Muley. Muley.

My pa always told me that when two partners are working the same claim

that they always split the take at the end of the day.

Now, me and you are partners of a sort, ain't we?

And it is the end of the day, ain't it? Ha, ha.

Nice to have a pa to guide you, ain't it?

Yup. Heh.

Sure is.

Fifty dollars and my best squirrel rifle for that whole passel.

Heh, no sale.

Greedy. Very greedy.

Fifty dollars and a squirrel rifle.

Cousin Hoss,

you just became the proud owner of four howling hound dogs.

Let me out of here.

Hey, Muley, them dogs starting to howl.

So?

So you're the one that can stop them.

I don't know own them anymore, cousin.

Aw, now, Muley...

You see, Hoss, when you buy a dog, you also acquire the howl too.

That's right, Hoss. They're your responsibility now.

You've just inherited four dogs and a new house, the barn.

But...

Hey, Muley.

Tell you what I'll do.

I'll sell you them hounds back at half price.

Pick yourself up a nice little profit.

Well, now, since they've been trained for coyotes,

I wouldn't have no use for them out on the prairie.

Uh...

You gotta sing to them to quiet them a bit, cousin.

Your animals are calling you.

Now, I ain't gonna lullaby you.

So just start showing a little more respect for your new master.

Lay down, go to sleep. Lay down, go to sleep.

Muley Clinton Jones.

A great hate just came into me.

Beats me, Tracy.

Beats me where them dogs could have gone.

We've been all over this country, ain't seen hide or hair of them.

So I say we ought to leave it up to the sheriff.

I'm not quitting, Pa.

They couldn't have just up and disappeared

without nobody knowing about it.

Sure don't figure.

We've been out a long time, so I'm hungry.

Pa, it just dawned on me.

The only place we ain't been is over to the Ponderosa.

Now, what would the Canwrights want with hound dogs?

Well, maybe they seen them. I say, let's go home and eat.

Go cook it yourself. I'm going over to the Ponderosa.

Ah, I'm telling you, I haven't had any sleep for nights.

For nights and nights.

I know.

What's going on?

They've stopped howling.

Maybe Muley went out and gave Hoss a hand.

No,

when I was walking down the hallway,

I heard Muley snoring in Hoss' room, he's sleeping away.

Nothing bothers him.

I don't care what's keeping these dogs quiet

just as long as they stay quiet. I'm going back to bed.

Well, now that I'm up, I think I'm gonna...

What was I gonna--? Oh.

I was gonna have something to eat. I'm gonna go have something to eat.

Have something for me too. Okay.

Hoss!

Hoss, come up here!

Now get out of here! Go on, get out of here!

Get out of that bed. Come on. Out! Out!

Get out of my house! Go!

Joe?

Hoss.

Pa, they got away while I was taking a little snooze.

Sure. But these dogs wouldn't have gotten in here

if you'd fixed that back-porch door

the way I'd asked you to do it at least 100 times.

I'll get them out of here, Pa.

Joe, what are you doing down there?

Joe, you gotta eat chicken?

Don't you know we're trying to break them of being bird dogs?

Well, I'm sorry, we were fresh out of coyote.

I guess.

Come on, you dang hound dogs.

Yup. Come on.

Come on.

You ain't getting away this time.

All right, all right.

My hound dogs are sitting And a-lazing around

They're dirty and mangy But I love my hounds

Don't make any quick moves, dog thief.

Dog thief? Tracy.

What are you talking about anyhow?

Hoss, I never thought I'd see the day

that a Cartwright would stoop to stealing.

Tracy, I can explain this whole thing,

if you'll just point that shotgun someplace besides my belly.

Talk.

Well, the fact is, I bought them dogs.

I bought them from my co-- From a fella that was passing through.

I gave him $50 and a squirrel rifle for them.

You got the bill of sale?

No, I ain't-- A pretty slick story.

Look, you don't believe me?

We'll go in and wake up Pa and he'll tell--

On second thought, we'd better not do that either.

What you been doing with my dogs?

Why, not a thing. Just treating them as nice as I know how.

As a matter of fact, I been sleeping with them

just to keep them from getting lonesome, yeah.

Are you sure them hounds ain't been harmed?

You don't see no marks on them, do you?

Look, Tracy,

they're your dogs, you take them.

I'll... I'll not argue the point with you.

You go right ahead and take them.

I'm not convinced yet,

but, well, I'll let it ride for now.

Yeah, yeah. Come on, you bird dogs.

Ah.

What am I sleeping out here for anyhow?

Steal what dogs?

I ain't no hound-dog thief.

They're checking the fence to see what those coyotes have been up to.

Right.

Hey, Hoss.

Pa was telling us how Tracy Ledbetter came and got her hounds

and almost blew your britches off with a shotgun.

It ain't funny, Little Joe.

That gal packs a shotgun around like a mad killer.

You think Muley really stole these dogs?

Oh, yeah. Well, he has the look of a canine thief.

A what?

A hound-dog robber.

Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Thought I did.

Where is Mr. Muley?

Well, I reckon he's out there in the barn asleep.

That figures. Well, it's a shame we couldn't have kept these dogs

long enough to get rid of those coyotes.

Not if I had to sleep with them.

Howlingest bunch of dang hounds I ever did sleep with.

Yeah, well...

I'll see you boys back late this afternoon.

I'm kind of anxious to find out what Muley has to say

about where he got these dogs.

Well, good morning, cousins.

Morning.

Sure was nice sleeping without all them hounds.

Yeah, I bet it was.

Muley, speaking of them hounds--

Wait, Cousin Ben,

now, you don't really believe that I'd stoop low enough

to steal a man's animals, do you?

I mean, I was just out-and-out slickered by that fellow that I met.

Muley, now tell me,

where did you meet this fellow that you met?

Well, down the road a piece.

Well, we just started talking about dogs and gold mines

and we just came to trade natural-like.

Now, how did you know that, that stranger owned them four dogs?

Well, he told me.

And these dogs were so friendly to him

just like they became to me later on.

You don't believe me, do you?

Of course we do.

Leastwise, I do.

Well, I guess I'd better gather my things

and went.

Dad burn-it, Pa, see what you done? Yeah.

You done hurt Muley's feelings. Now, just take it easy now.

Hoss,

do you really believe that some stranger, a stranger,

went into the Ledbetter's home, stole four hound dogs

and then went down the road a piece, met up with Muley

and traded him even?

Now, do you believe it?

Why do you gotta go and put it like that for?

All right, now, tell me another way to put it.

Well, I still don't believe he stole them.

Hey, Pa.

Pa.

Pa. Pa.

That Hoss Cartwright ruined my hounds.

I don't care nothing about them darn dogs.

You get in the house there and start breakfast.

Breakfast?

I spent nearly a year making bird dogs out of those miserable hounds.

I took them out this morning, Pa, and it was terrible.

Well, now, don't go acting like no hysterical female,

and tell me what happened.

All they wanna do is chase coyotes.

They won't even look at a bird.

Coyote dogs? Yeah.

Oh, no. You ain't never gonna be able to break them of that.

Well, he's not gonna get away with it.

What are you planning?

You go into town and get the sheriff,

then we'll teach that Hoss Cartwright a lesson.

We can't arrest no Cartwright.

Besides, you told me he bought them off of a passing stranger.

But Hoss taught them to chase coyotes and that's the crime.

Now, Tracy-- Go get that sheriff or...

Or I'll never cook again.

Well, all right.

But you and that gun stay put right here.

Well, Mr. Hoss Cartwright,

a little rock salt in the breeches

ought to teach you a lesson.

Well, I sure hate to see you leave like this, Cousin Muley.

Well, so do I, little cousin.

But I'm sure glad that you believe me about them hounds.

You do, don't you?

Oh, sure, I believe you, Muley. Sure.

Don't pay no attention to my family.

They always gotta have things logical and all tied up in a pretty package.

Yeah, well, heh,

I guess they just don't understand about fellas like you and me.

Yeah.

Well, I guess that's it,

except for this box and that blanket in the barn.

I'll get the box for you.

Freeze.

Don't you dare make a move

because I got a shotgun aimed right at your britches.

Tracy, what's the matter now? You got your dogs back.

Sure, I got them back, okay, but you ruined them.

Aw. Tracy, let me stand up and I can explain that--

You just stay frozen.

Tracy, you're making a terrible mistake.

I come hereto blister you

and by gollies, I'm not gonna let you sweet talk me out of it.

Tracy, don't do nothing drastic.

I just want you to know where it came from.

What's going on?

Crazy shotgun-packing Tracy is back. Oh, no.

You open this door or I'm gonna shoot it open.

And she will. We better hide.

I know you're in here, Hoss.

You low down dog spoiler.

Get me out of this thing, you crooked hat.

Let me go, polecat.

Not until you calm down.

Hoss, you get me out of this thing.

And get myself shotgunned? Never.

Oh, you. Ow!

Hey, wait a minute. Hold it, ma'am.

Who are you?

Hoss' cousin, ma'am.

Tracy, Why'd you go and do a hurting thing like that to him for?

He ain't done nothing.

Any cousin of yours is an enemy of mine.

Ah. You polecat, you got me plumb dizzy.

The passing tall stranger.

Do what?

That's the passing tall stranger that stole my dogs.

Are you sure? Sure, I'm sure.

And all this time I believed in you, and you's the one that was guilty.

You hound-dog robber.

Hoss, what was all that shooting about?

What happened to you? Oh!

What are you doing with that horse collar?

Leave it on her, Pa. She's dangerous.

Oh, come on now. What's Hoss been doing?

What have I been doing?

Mr. Cartwright, your son Hoss is a dog thief,

a woman beater and an animal spoiler.

Now, wait a minute, Tracy. If you had a shotgun pointed at your--

Hoss, Hoss. I'm ashamed of you, boy.

Now, what's the matter with you, Muley?

Like I told you, Pa, she's dangerous. She hurt, Muley.

For a passing tall stranger, you look different somehow,

news I sees you up close.

She claims Muley's the one that stole her hounds, all right, Pa.

I didn't do no such thing.

Well, Tracy?

Oh.

Well, he is the tall stranger that was passing by our house,

and shortly after my dogs did disappear.

Ma'am, I didn't steal your hound dogs.

I wouldn't do a thing like that. Honest.

Heh. Maybe you didn't.

Tracy, make up your mind, will you?

But you spoiled them.

Now, Tracy, Hoss didn't spoil these dogs intentionally.

Now, that's right, Tracy.

If your hounds are spoiled, well, I'm sorry.

But with all this dang talk,

I still got me four no-good low-down coyote-hunting dogs.

Tracy, tell you what,

I might consider buying these dogs if the price is right.

Hmm, so you wanna buy them now.

What do you think they, uh, ought to be worth?

Make me an offer.

Well, it's kind of difficult to make an offer just like that, Tracy,

but, uh, I think $15 a dog would be a very fair price, don't you?

Fifteen dollars for good coyote dogs is a very low price.

Maybe I should just keep them and hire them out as hunters.

Tracy, you're getting to be a better horse trader than my boys.

All right.

Two dollars a head for every coyote you get.

Two-fifty.

Two-fifty.

Muley,

can I talk to you for a minute, private-like?

Oh, sure, ma'am. Heh.

Why don't you step into my office?

Howdy, Ben. Hoss. Howdy, Roy.

What's this I hear about Hoss being a stealer and spoiler of hound dogs?

Oh, ha, ha.

Not anymore, Roy. Not anymore.

It's all been settled, Mr. Ledbetter.

Tracy's in there in the barn just as happy as a hunting dog.

My daughter's been here?

Her and her shotgun both.

That gal and her shotgun is gonna be the death of me.

Didn't I tell you to stay at home?

Hey, cousins, that's the man.

That's the stranger that sold me them dogs.

You sold my dogs?

You're dang right I did.

For months you ain't done nothing but train them dogs and let me go hungry.

Dirty dishes so high I can't see over them.

Sheets all torn on the couch, you ain't changed them.

And my clothes stand up all alone.

I done it, and I done it for self-preservation.

Why, you low-down-- Now, wait.

A pretty little gal like you shouldn't play with guns.

No?

All right.

Uh, how about what we talked about in your office?

Oh, you got yourself a coyote-hunting partner.

And I'll stay in the barn at night and keep the dogs quiet.

Hey, wait a minute, Muley, I thought me and you was partners.

It ain't the same thing, Cousin Hoss. Don't you see? Ha, ha.

Yeah, I reckon I do at that.

It kind of looks like I took me along horseback ride for nothing, don't it?

It's pan of the job.

Come on.

Well, I reckon we better move along.

Whatever you say, Muley.

Because my dogs are--

Our dogs are over at the house tied up and they might get loose.

Uh, Muley.

I wanna apologize for, uh-- Well, for distrusting you.

Shucks, Cousin Ben. That's all right.

Sometimes I don't trust myself.

Here, gal, you drive.

Oh, uh, Pa, come on.

I'll cook us a dinner tonight you'll never forget.

Bye.

I got me a hound dog I got me a friend

Just a lazy old hound dog But it's mine to the end

Of his tail that he wags Though his ears dmop and sag

And his feet always drag On the ground

I got me a hound dog A mutt and a cur

And I call him my Filbert He's a hound I prefer

He's afraid of a fight Why, he won't even bite

But he'll stay up a night and...

Now, what was that all about?

Oh.

Just a happy ending.

Yeah, for all of us.

No more howling, a good night's sleep,

no noise, peaceful.

Amen. Yeah.

Let's go.

This has been a color presentation

of the NBC Television Network.