All language subtitles for Too.Close.for.Comfort.S01E17.Up.Your.Easter.Bonnet.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Test_track3_[eng]

(cheery music)

- (Jackie) You're
getting rusty, Mom.

You forgot how to ski.

- Ah, no.
- Feet apart, knees together,

heels out, arms down, head up.

(Muriel groans)

- Well, the car's loaded up,
the skis are on the roof,

and the credit cards are
ready to go into overtime.

(audience laughing)

- (Sara) You look so cute, Dad.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, we know how long you've
been waiting for this trip.

Have a wonderful time.

- Thanks. Oh, Jackie.

The next issue of Cosmic
Cow is on my drawing board.

Be sure to take it
to Mr. Wainwright

first thing Monday morning.

- I know, Dad.

You told me.
- Okay.

- Your father worked
every night this past week

to get this strip finished so
we could take this vacation.

- Don't worry about it.

If she forgets,
I'll take care of it.

- Oh, thank you.

- Now, where'd you
say you left it?

(audience laughing)

Relax, Dad. I'm just kidding.

Well, you always tell me
to have a sense of humor.

- Not with me.
(Sara giggles)

(audience laughing)

- Don't worry about anything.
Go and enjoy yourselves.

I just hope you find snow
when you get up there.

- (laughs) Oh, I can
just feel it now.

Charging down, down,
down at breakneck speed.

(Henry whooshes)

Wind whistling past.
(imitates wind whistling)

Soaring like a bird over
the ledge and into the air!

- And right into a
waiting ambulance.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, Muriel.

You said I always have
the physical agility

of a man half my age.

- Not on the slopes, Henry.

(audience laughing)

- Oh. Okay, we better take off.

You two take care of each other.

- Yes, and oh, don't
forget to bring in the mail

and pick up the cleaning.

- We'll take care of
everything. Trust us.

- And remember to leave a
light burning upstairs at night

so it look like we're at home.

- Right.
But don't forget

to turn it off during
the day so it won't

look like we're away.

- Will you two please leave?

You're spending
half your vacation

giving us instructions.
- Okay, okay, okay.

- We're going, we're going!

Oh, make sure that you don't
overload the washing machine.

Otherwise it'll make that
thumping noise again.

- We know that, Mom.

It was Jackie's blue
jeans that overloaded it.

- It wasn't my jeans.
It was your bra.

(audience laughing)

- All right, we'll let you-
- Henry, they're starting

again, let's go.
- See you later.

- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
- Have fun.

(cheery music)

(knocking)
- Come on in, Monroe.

- How'd you know it was me?

- I have ESP. I'm psychic.

Also you called 20
minutes ago and said

you'd be over in 20 minutes.

- Oh, that's how you knew.

- All set to go, Monroe?

- You bet. Miami, here I come.

- Gosh, your parents
haven't seen you

since they moved there.

- I bet they're
thrilled you're coming.

- Well, they don't know yet.

I thought I'd surprise them.

- Well, don't you think
you oughta call them?

They may have made other plans.

- Oh, gee, I never
thought of that.

Can I use your phone?
I'll pay you when I get back.

- Sure. Go ahead.
- Thanks.

- If the phone company can wait
for us, we can wait for you.

- Boy, I'm sure looking forward

to eating some
great meals again.

- Oh, your mom's a good cook?

- Rotten, that's why
I'm gonna eat out

all the time in
fancy restaurants.

(audience laughing)

Hello, Mom? Hi, it's me.

Monroe.

Your son.

(audience laughing)

Oh, I'm doing just fine. Thanks.

Huh? The weather?

Well, it's about
75 degrees outside

with a slight offshore breeze

and some variable
high cloudiness

which should give way to
sun in late afternoon.

(audience laughing)

Well, listen, Mom, listen.

I got some wonderful,
wonderful news.

I'm catching the eight
o'clock flight out tonight,

and I'm gonna be spending
my spring vacation

with you and Dad.

Yeah.

He is?

Well, uh...

how long's he been
feeling like that?

Oh.

Well, maybe this is a bad
time for me to come, huh?

Oh well, maybe this summer.

Yeah, well, uh, listen,
give Dad my love.

Yeah. Bye, Mom.

- Monroe, is your father sick?

- Oh, no, he's
feeling wonderful.

- Well, then why
aren't you going home?

- Well, um, this
might be kind of hard

for you girls to
understand, but, but

sometimes I drive
my father crazy.

(audience laughing)

That's one of the reasons
they moved to Miami.

(audience laughing)

- You mean they
ran away from home?

- Well, you could say that.

Well, anyway, my
mother said my father's

starting to feel like
his old self again.

She said his psoriasis
has cleared up

and his nervous twitch went away

and his hair's
starting to grow back.

(audience laughing)

- So you mean they
don't want you to come?

- No.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Monroe.

- Oh well, it's
comforting to know

that his baldness
isn't hereditary.

(audience laughing)

- (Jackie) Monroe,
what are you gonna do

with your spring vacation?

- (sighs) I don't know.

I have no place to stay.

My roommate invited
his girlfriend up

to spend the week with him.

- Well, where will you go?
Where will you sleep?

Wait a minute. I know!

- Upstairs? Are you crazy?
- Why not?

Mom and Dad'll be gone
for the whole week,

and they'll feel good
to know we have a man

around the house for protection.

- Oh, I don't blame them.

I'd feel better if there
was a man around the house

for protection, too.
(audience laughing)

- Monroe, you're the man.

- Oh, me. Well, hey,
I think I can handle that.

(audience laughing)

Hey, that'll be great.

I'll have the whole
place to myself.

It'll be like I went away
someplace on vacation.

And the best part is I can
tell the guys at school

that I spent my week
with two beautiful girls.

Are you sure your
folks won't mind?

- Mind? They'll kill us
if they ever find out.

- But they won't
have to find out.

Monroe will be out of
here before they get back.

- Yeah, and I'll leave
the place spotless.

I mean, they won't even
know that I was there.

Oh! Oh!
(audience laughing)

Here, let me get this.

This won't happen up there.
I'll leave the place real clean.

I mean, it's gonna
be just real neat.

You won't even know. Thanks,
I'll get the rest later.

Thank you. I really
appreciate it.

It's gonna be a lot of fun.

We're gonna have a
great time this week.

(telephone ringing)

(audience laughing)

I think it's for you.

(cheery music)

(Monroe whistling "Leave
It To Beaver" theme song)

(audience laughing)

- Well, we prayed for snow and
God said let there be snow.

- And snow and
snow and more snow.

Would it have wrecked them fast

to turn a plan to leave
one lousy road open?

Oh, that bed is
sure gonna feel good

after driving for 12 hours.

(ski clangs)

- Burglars!

(audience laughing)

(metal clanging)

- Prowler.

Go in the kitchen
and call the police.

I'll handle this.
- Henry, don't be a hero.

- Call the cops.
- Okay, okay.

(audience laughing)

(both scream)

- Monroe!

- Oh, Mrs. Rush!

- Monroe, what the hell are
you doing in our bedroom?

- I was getting
ready to go to sleep.

- In our room?

Will you look at this, Muriel?

We drove 400 miles
to get to the snow,

and we find it in
our own bedroom.

(audience laughing)

- Mom, Dad!

- What are you doing here?

- Never mind what
we're doing here.

What's he doing here?

- Uh, Monroe was gonna go
home for spring vacation,

but his father told
him not to come.

- I never met your father.

But he's obviously a
man of good judgment.

(audience laughing)

- That still doesn't explain
what Monroe is doing here.

- Monroe has no place to stay.

And his roommate doesn't
want him around either.

- That makes two people
with good judgment.

One on the East Coast and
one on the West Coast.

- Oh, I'm sorry about
the feathers, Mr. Rush.

I'll have your place vacuumed
first thing in the morning.

- No, you won't.

Because you won't be here
first thing in the morning.

You're leaving now!

- Where's he going to sleep?

- That's his problem!

- Monroe, since my
father seems insensitive

to other people's
feelings, I'm inviting you

to spend the rest of
the week on the couch.

- Oh, no you don't.

No strange man is
gonna spend the night

in my daughter's apartment.

- Dad, this is Monroe.

- Do you know of
anybody stranger?

(audience laughing)

- Dad.

I'm not exactly
overwhelmed at the prospect

of having Monroe spend
the week on our couch,

but I do have to say you're
being rather inconsistent.

- Why do you say that?

- Well, you and Dad
always taught us

that we should go out of
our way a little for people.

That for every small favor,
you're repaid a hundred fold.

- She's right, Henry.

Monroe needs a place
to stay this week,

and we do have an extra room.

I don't see how we can say no.

- Watch me.
(audience laughing)

- Henry.

- All right, Monroe. You're
welcome to stay this week.

- All right!

- Will you stop that?

- I'm sorry.
- If you don't mind,

we're very tired, we'd like to
go to sleep, we're exhausted.

- (groans) So am I.
Come on, Sara.

- (coughs) Goodnight.
- Goodnight, everybody.

- (Henry And Muriel) Goodnight.

- Goodnight, girls.
I'll see you in the morning.

Goodnight.
- Monroe.

That goodnight includes you,
too. What are you waiting for?

- Oh, you two want this room.
- Get out!

(audience laughing)

- Sheets here.

Goodnight, folks.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I'll go unpack.
You pluck the bed.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, I'd better call the
police and tell them never mind.

(Muriel coughs)
(sirens wailing)

Never mind!
(audience laughing)

(gentle music)
(knocking)

- Sara, open the door.
(knocking)

Sara.

- Okay, okay, I'm coming.

- I gotta talk to you. We've
got a real crisis on our hands.

- Monroe, what
happened to your arm?

- Nothing. Listen.

I accidentally grabbed
your father's drawings

with my bed linen last night
and took 'em into my room.

- So what's the big deal?
Put them back.

- I can't, that's
just the point.

The bulb was burned
out in my room

and I didn't wanna
disturb your folks,

so I made up my bed in the dark.

- So what has that got to do
with my father's drawings?

- I slept on 'em.
(audience laughing)

- What?

- They were underneath my
sheets and I didn't know it.

- Monroe, how could you?

I mean, didn't the bed
seem a little stiff?

- I thought your mother
starched the sheets.

(audience laughing)

- Monroe.
My father worked on

those drawings day
and night for a week.

I'm supposed to deliver 'em
to his publisher this morning.

- I know, Jackie.

- Where are the drawings now?

- Right here.

- Oh!

- Oh, no, they're all creased.

- Oh, look at the wrinkles
on Cosmic Cow's face.

She looks like Jacques Cousteau.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, you girls.
I don't know what to do.

- All right, let me think.

Monroe, where's your suitcase?

- It's upstairs.
You want me to get it?

- No, we'll send it to you.
Get outta town fast.

(audience laughing)
- Oh, no.

- Muriel, maybe we can
get away after all.

According to this,
the roads are still open

at Sun Valley,
Park City, and Aspen.

- Oh, fine. I'll call
the travel agency.

- Why am I drinking apple juice?

- Because Monroe drank
all the orange juice.

Have the apple juice.

- I don't want it.

Apple juice doesn't mix well
with eggs.

- Then you're safe.

Monroe ate all the eggs, too.

(audience laughing)

- Did he leave us any coffee?

- We have coffee,
but he used all the cream.

Where you going?

- Where do you think I'm going?

I'm going out to get some
breakfast right after I shower.

- Okay, I'll check
those resorts.

- Remind Jackie to
deliver my drawings.

- They're not on
your drawing board.

I think she might've
taken them already.

(cheery music)

- You have any luck
with the reservations?

- Hmm, here's the update.

Park City, no snow.

Aspen, snow, no rooms.

Banff, rooms and snow,
no flights.

Sun Valley, no snow, no flights,

but the rooms are half price.

(audience laughing)

(telephone rings)

- Hello?

You did? Oh, Lily,
that's wonderful.

Yeah, we'll pick them
up later on today.

Lily got us a reservation
for Aspen for tomorrow.

- Oh, terrific. Oh, am
I glad we didn't unpack.

- Hi, anything happening?

- Yes, we're flying to
Aspen in the morning.

We got reservations.

- Oh, good. You'll get
your vacation after all.

- How about that?
(telephone ringing)

Hello?

Oh, Mr. Wainwright, how are you?

Uh, well, no, but we're leaving

first thing tomorrow
morning. (chuckles)

What do you mean,
you don't think so?

Sepia? That's brown.

I always do the strip
in black and white.

(audience laughing)

Singed at the edges?

Do the entire strip over?
Oh, no, no, Mr. Wainwright.

Look, my wife and I are
going to Aspen tomorrow,

and it took a lot of trouble
to get those reservations.

And I'm not canceling
them for you,

Cosmic Cow or anybody else,
do I make myself clear?

Yeah.

Unpack.
(audience laughing)

- Made yourself that clear, huh?

- I can't understand
what happened.

Sara, when Jackie delivered
my drawings this morning,

were they not in
perfect condition?

- Well, uh, no, Dad. Not quite.

- What do you mean, not quite?

- Dad, it was all my fault.
I used the wrong setting.

On the steam iron.

(audience laughing)

When I pressed your drawings.

- Don't just stand there,
Muriel,

She's your daughter, too.

Find out what the hell
she's talking about!

- Henry, just relax.

Sara, what the hell
are you talking about?

(audience laughing)

- I had to iron the drawings
to get the creases out.

- What creases?

- Monroe inadvertently
slept on Cosmic Cow

and creased all the pages.

I tried to iron them out,

used too hot a setting
and singed them.

(Henry chuckles)

- I'm supposed to be
drawing a cartoon,

and suddenly my life
is becoming one.

Where is Monroe?
- He went to the library.

- You call him and tell him
not to check out any books

because he's not gonna live
long enough to read one.

- Henry, there is no use
in upsetting yourself.

The damage is already done.

- Not quite, Muriel.

What size shirt did
you say Monroe wore?

- A 15 1/2 neck.

- Oh. Perfect.

(gentle music)

- Hello, Miami Information?

Do you have a phone listing
for a Benjamin Ficus?

F-I-C-U-S.

Thank you, operator.

Hello, Mr. Ficus?

Oh, uh, this is Henry Rush
in San Francisco.

You don't know me,
but your son Monroe

goes to school with
my daughter Sara.

Oh, Monroe told you
all about us. I see.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Monroe's fine, he's fine.

Uh, Mr. Ficus,

it isn't easy for
me to say this.

I mean, I don't want to
seem like I'm advising you

on how to be a parent.

Lord knows I've got problems
of my own being a father.

It's just that I realized
in the past few years that,

well, how fast children grow
up, and before you know it,

they're gone and off
into their own lives.

And well, Mr. Ficus,

while they're still with us,

we should grasp those
moments and cherish them.

I just felt I had to call you
and tell you that, Mr. Ficus.

Well, have a nice day.

- (Monroe) Anybody home?

- In here, Monroe.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Rush.

- What's that?

- Well, I bought you a present.

Sort of a peace offering.

- Oh, oh.

Monroe, that wasn't necessary.

- Oh, I wanted to do it.

I felt so badly about messing
up your vacation plans.

I hope you enjoy it.

- Oh. Caviar.

Imported champagne,
assorted cheeses,

smoked oysters, well. (chuckles)

You have wonderful
taste, Monroe.

- Thank you.

(telephone ringing)

- Would you get that?

- Oh, sure.

Hello? Yes, he's right here.

Dad? It's me.

Monroe. How are you?

Oh.

You mean it?

You really want me
to come to Miami?

Oh, gee, Dad, I appreciate
that, but I can't.

I spent all my plane
fare on a gift.

- Give me that.
Uh, hold on, Mr. Ficus.

Monroe, you take that basket
back where you bought it.

Get a refund and get a
plane ticket to Miami.

- I can't do that, Mr. Rush.
I didn't buy that in a store.

I bought it from a friend

who just got back
from Los Angeles.

He won it on a game show.

(audience laughing)

- You're going back home.
I'm gonna pay for it myself.

Uh, Mr. Ficus, this is Mr. Rush.

Look, I'll be sure that
Monroe gets on that plane.

You just be sure
that he gets off.

(audience laughing)

Thank you. Goodbye.

All right, Monroe, as
soon as you're packed,

I'm driving you to the airport.

You're going to Miami.

- Well, thank you, Mr. Rush.

- Yeah.
- You don't have to drive me

to the airport.

- I want to, Monroe.

- How about that?
They want me to come home.

- (Henry) Yes.

- You know something?

I think they really do love me.

I mean, me.

Who am I? I'm just their son.

(audience applauding)

(cheery music)