All language subtitles for Too.Close.for.Comfort.S01E13.Deadline.for.Henry.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Test_track3_[eng]

[Too Close For Comfort theme]

[upbeat music]

- Thanks.

- Oh come on Henry, it's
not the end of the world.

It's only jury duty.

- I know It's only jury duty.

I happen to have a comic
strip to get out by Monday

and this is going
to slow me down.

- Hi!

- Hi.

- Good morning.

- Isn't this great
weather for skiing?

- I wouldn't know. I
don't intend to go skiing.

- We do.

- Some thing's up, Muriel.

[adience laughing]

- Dad, why are you always
so suspicious of us?

- Because I can tell
when you want something

by the way you just
say good morning.

- What if we came in here
and said, "Good morning,

isn't this a lovely
day for a drive?"

would you think we wanted a car?

- Yes.

- Well we don't, we want skis.

- Girls, you don't barge in
here first thing in the morning

and ask your father for skis.

First you see if he's
in a receptive mood.

You wait until he's calm
and relaxed in good humor.

- All the snow will
be melted by then.

[audience laughing]

- Dad.

Monroe heard about a great
deal on two pairs of skis.

Practically brand new.

- We can save a bundle
but we have to act fast.

- How fast?

- [Monroe]
Today!

[audience laughing]

- Monroe, What are you doing

in the living room
eaves dropping?

- [Monroe] I was afraid
if I came into the kitchen

you'd yell at me.

- I won't yell at you.

Now get in here!

- Okay, if you promise.

Good morning, Mrs. Rush.

- All right Monroe,
what is this big deal?

- Well, there are these two
girls in one of my classes.

They're twins, identical twins.

You can't even tell them apart.

- I don't care.

Now get on with it.

- Well, anyway, they got these
brand new skis for Christmas.

- A gift from their father.

- Yeah And they've
only used them once

and now they want to sell them.

- Monroe, what's
wrong with the skis?

- Well, there's nothing
wrong with the skis.

Just the twin's legs.

- They broke them.

- Oh, how terrible.

- Oh, thank you.

Well not if you look
at the bright side.

You see before you couldn't
tell the twins apart,

but now you can.

Because one of them
broke her left leg

and one of them
broke her right leg.

Only problem is we don't know
which twin broke which leg.

- But we do know who in this
room is weird, don't we?

[audience laughing]

- Please Dad, can
we buy the skis?

- Look, if you girls
have your hearts set

on buying those skis,
it's fine with me.

- [girls gasping]
Oh daddy, I love you.

- How you spend your money
is no business of mine.

[audience laughing]

- Our money? Well,
we don't have $300.

- If we did, we wouldn't be
standing here hugging you,

we'd be half way down
the slopes by now.

- Oh, I see, I misunderstood
your intentions.

You mean you want me to buy
those skis for you as a gift,

Is that it?

- Not anymore.

- Henry, you're gonna to
be late for jury duty.

You girls better get going too.

- I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'm not going to say yes.
I'm also not going to say no.

I'll think about it.

- Thanks, dad.

- I have to let the twins
know by the end of the day.

Well, sometime next
week would be fine.

No later than spring thaw?

[audience laughing]

- Muriel?

- Hi, honey.
How was your day?

- What's wrong?

- Nothing, nothing.

- Why are you crying?

- I've been chopping onions.

[audience laughing]

- You know you left the
front door unlocked?

- Yes, I knew you'd
be home any minute.

- There are a lot of
crazy people out there

and they're armed.

What if a maniac came in
here wielding a knife?

- I'd ask him to
chop the onions.

[audience laughing]

- That's not funny Muriel.

If you had to serve
on jury duty today,

you would find out
what I'm talking about.

- Oh, really?

What kind of a case are
you on? Tell me about it.

- Well I'm under oath
not to discuss the case

with anyone in the family.

- Oh.

- There was this woman
who was lying in bed

and she sensed
somebody in the room.

When she opened her
eyes there was this man,

the defendant,
standing over her.

- How did he get in the house?

- She failed to
lock the front door.

- Oh, there's a
moral to the story.

[door bell rings]

It's open!

- I locked it.

[audience laughing]

- [Henry] Who is it Muriel,
is it for you or me?

- There's enough
here for both of us.

[audience laughing]

Can I help you?

- Mr. Arthur Wainwright is
here to see Mr. Henry Rush.

[audience laughing]

- How nice to see
you Mr. Wainwright,

would you come in please.

- Regis, wait in the limousine.

- Regis? She's new,
isn't she?

- Yes. It's a new
rental company.

All their chauffeurs are tall,
magnificently built women.

- Oh, what a novel idea.

How long has the
company been doing that?

- Since I bought it.

[audience laughing]

- Rush, how are you doing on
the next issue of Cosmic Cow?

- It'll be ready Monday,
right on schedule.

- I can't wait that long.

The printers are
going out on strike.

I need it by tomorrow morning.

- Tomorrow, but
that's impossible.

- Henry's on jury
duty, Mr. Wainwright.

He can't possibly get
it done by tomorrow.

He has to be in court.

- What time?

- Nine o'clock

- Splendid.

You can drop the strip
off at my office at eight.

- But the that means I'll have
to stay up all night working.

- People who care,
people who are dedicated,

stay up all night.

- There were 1,100 of them
on the deck of the Titanic.

- That doesn't apply here.

Those people weren't
working, they were singing.

- 8:00 A.M. sharp, Rush.
On my desk.

- But Mr. Wainwright I can't...

- Look, Rush.

There will be 500
additional dollars

in your pay envelope this week.

- Well, I'll do the best
I can to get it done.

- Good.

Oh, if you should
have to get in contact

with me this evening, I'll
be at the top of the mark.

I'm taking my chauffeur dancing.

[audience laughing]

- Muriel, how am I going
to stay up all night?

I'm exhausted now.

- Oh, Henry look, I'll just
make a big pot of coffee

and Jackie and Sarah and
I will all take turns

staying up with you
to keep you awake.

- Those onions affected
more than your eyes Muriel.

Do you think those two
princesses downstairs

are going to lose
a night's sleep

just because I have
a deadline to meet?

- Oh, Henry.
You're their father.

They love you.
They respect you.

And they'll want to show their
appreciation for the skis.

- Well, what makes you think

I'm going to buy
them those skis?

- Well the bonus means extra
money you hadn't planned on,

so there's really no reason
anymore to turn them down.

Besides I know you,
you're a push over.

- You know Muriel,
I resent that.

I really resent that.

- What? That I called
you a pushover?

- No.

That you know me so well.

[audience laughing]

- Here's another
fresh pot of coffee.

- [Henry]
Oh, thanks.

- How are you holding up honey?

- Well, the coffee
is keeping me awake

but I'm not getting
very much work done.

- Why not?

- I keep going to the bathroom.

[audience laughing]

- Well, is there anything
you want me to do for you

before I go to bed?

- Yes, you can wake Jackie and
tell her her shift is over.

[audience laughing]

- Jackie, honey, wake up.

- What time is it?

- It's midnight.

- Oh good, I didn't
think I'd make it.

Good night, dad.

- Good night. Thanks
for your help.

- Oh, that's okay, you'd
do the same for me.

- No, I wouldn't,
I'd stay awake.

[audience laughing]

- Tell Sarah it's her shift

and to wake me
when she's through.

I'll take the final shift.

- Right.

- Well, I'll see
you in three hours.

- Okay.

- If you need me, just call.

[audience laughing]

- Ooh!

[coffee splashing]

[door knock]

Come in, Sarah.

- Hi Mr. Rush.

- Monroe, what are you doing
here? And where's Sarah?

- Well we were studying for
an important exam tomorrow

and she started to fall asleep

so I told her to go to bed and
I'd take her shift for her.

- Oh, that's very
nice of you, Monroe.

- Thank you.

- Sit down.

Want some coffee?

- Oh no, Thanks.
Coffee keeps me awake.

[audience laughing]

- It's supposed
to keep you awake

otherwise how are you
going to keep me awake?

- Well that's why brought my
book stuff with me Mr. Rush.

I'm going to study
while you work.

- Oh, you're not going to play
that radio while I'm working.

- Oh, you won't hear
the radio at all.

I have these headphones!

[audience laughing]

[book drumming]

- Monroe.

Monroe.

[Monroe singing]

Monroe.

Monroe!

- Oh Henry.
Henry, what is it?

I wasn't calling you.
I was calling Monroe.

- Where is he, in Oakland?

[audience laughing]

[Monroe singing]

- No, but I wish he were.

- What is Monroe doing here?

- Well, Sarah was tired
so he's taking her shift.

- [Muriel] Oh.

Well, good night.

[audience laughing]

- Mr. Rush, how come
you're not working?

- Because you're
driving me crazy.

Now sit down and no more radios.

- I'm sorry.

Can I get you anything?

- Just quiet.

Ooh.

I'll never make it.

- Mr. Rush wake up!

[audience laughing]

- What did you do that for?

- You were falling asleep.

- I wasn't falling asleep.

I was just resting
my eyes, you idiot!

- Oh I'm sorry,
here let me dry...

[audience laughing]

Ooh I'm so...

[audience laughing]

[Monroe stuttering]

Good night, Mr. Rush.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- Henry, we have to
drop off your drawings

at Mr. Wainwrights office

before I drive you
to the courthouse.

So come on, let's get a move on.

Henry.

[audience laughing]

Henry! Wake up.
Wake up. Come on.

- Ugh, I'm so tired.

- I know darling,
but we have to go.

- I didn't get a minutes rest.

- I'll get your jacket.
Come on.

- Okay.

- Come on.

[Henry yawning]

Come on.

[audience laughing]

- Hi mom.
How's dad?

- Well, he didn't get much
sleep so he's really tired

but he's a trooper.

He got it done.

- We came up to thank him.

- Oh, he's in the kitchen.

- Where is he?

- I don't know.

[Henry snoring]

- Dad!
- Dad!

- Come on, wake up.

- Come on, honey, come on.

- What are you girls
doing in my bedroom

in the middle of the night?

- This isn't your bedroom

and this isn't the
middle of the night.

It's seven o'clock
in the morning.

- Don't argue with
me I'm your father.

[audience laughing]

- Do you think he'll make
it through the trial?

- I don't think he'll make
it through the kitchen.

- Would you please
stop talking about me

as if I weren't here?

- Who said that?

[indistinct chatting]

- Good morning.

- What?
Oh, good morning.

- I'm so glad this trial
is going on another day.

- I wish I felt that way.

- It's just like on television.

I was telling my
husband last night

how exciting jury duty is.

Boy, did he get mad at me.

- Why?

- I don't know, I told him
while we were making love.

There's just no
pleasing that man.

- Please rise for the
honorable Samuel Warfield.

Judge of the court
now presiding.

You may be seated.

This court is now in session.

- Your honor, the
people call it's witness

Miss Eula May Preston.

- The witnesses is reminded
that she is still under oath.

- Miss Preston.

Do you recall the
point in your testimony

you had reached yesterday?

- I do.

- You had stated
that you had awakened

in the middle of the night
to find the defendant

standing over your bed.

- [Miss Preston]
That's correct.

I was terrified.

- And did he speak to you?

- Indeed, he did.

[audience laughing]

- What were the
actual words he used?

- Oh, I couldn't.

I could never say those things.

- Miss Preston.

It would be very
helpful if you could.

- Do I have to, your honor?

- Yes, you do.

- He said,

he said, how would you
like to blank blank blank?

- Do what?

Blank, blank, blank.

- I see.

Did he use an expletive?

- I wouldn't know.

I fainted.

[audience laughing]

- What the judge means is,

did he actually say,
blank, blank, blank?

Or did he use other words?

- Oh, he used other
words of course.

- Well, would you
please tell the court

what those words were?

- Oh no, they're not
words I would ever say.

They're the kind of words

that nasty people write
on walls of restrooms.

[audience laughing]

In fact, I saw them just this
morning in the ladies room

down the hall.

But I could never bring
myself to say them.

- Perhaps it would be easier

if the witness could write
down what the defendant said.

- Thank you your honor.

- How...

Would you like to...

Should they be in capitals?

[audience laughing]

- Not necessarily.

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing]

- I think the jury
should read this.

[audience laughing]

- Psst!

- Psst!

[audience laughing]

Here read this.

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing]

[audience laughing]

[Henry coughing]

- I'm very flattered,
but I'm married.

[audience laughing]

I thought you told me
you were married, too.

- What are you talking about?

- This note.

- Well, pass it along.

[audience laughing]

- I beg your pardon!

- Pass it to the man
sitting next to you.

- He'll think it's from me.

- So?

- What if he says yes?

- What seems to be the trouble?

- Oh, nothing.
Nothing your honor.

Nothing at all.

- Don't put it in your pocket.

Pass it along to the
rest of the jury.

- But...

Oh I couldn't do
that your honor.

This is a...

This is rather private.

[audience laughing]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- And then, he ripped up
the note and ate it.

[girls laughing]

- Oh no!

Oh, dad!

- Dad, you actually
thought that note

was from the woman next to you?

- And very disappointed
when he found out it wasn't.

[audience laughing]
[door bell rings]

[girls laughing]

- Mr. Arthur Wainwright
to see Mr. Henry Rush.

- Have him come in.

[Muriel sighs]

[audience laughing]

- Oh no! I forgot to open the
back door of the limousine.

- Oh, well then go
downstairs and open it.

- Not here, I left him in
front of his office building.

- Indeed you did, Regis.

I was forced to take a taxi.

That'll be $20 less on the
mantle piece this week.

- Forgive me, sir.

I'll wait downstairs
in the limousine.

- Yes.

And Regis, stay off the phones!

Word of advice, Rush.

Never hire a chauffeur
with family in Sweden.

- I'll keep that in mind.

- Good.
Now I have tremendous news.

The printer strike
has been averted.

- What?

You mean I killed myself
working all night for nothing?

- Not exactly for nothing, Rush.

Your bonus.

[Henry chuckles]

- Their bonus.

- Really? Dad thank you.

Thank you.

- You can borrow the
skis anytime you want.

- You just bring
back the change.

- He promised them skis,
that's why they're so excited.

- You're a very fortunate
man, Rush, to have children.

Me, I'm all by myself.

Isn't that sad?

With all my money,

I'll never know what it's like
to make someone that happy.

- I'm sorry Mr. Wainwright.

- Lord knows I do
my best for Regis.

[audience laughing]

- Mr. Wainwright, I'm
sure she appreciates it.

- Who knows?
She's so damn tall,

I can't see if she's smiling.

[audience laughing]

- Poor man.
His life has no meaning.

- Yes, what does he really
have to look forward to?

Driving home all alone in the
backseat of a big limousine,

having a gorgeous blonde
chauffer at the wheel.

Dining in some fancy restaurant,
dancing in some disco

and then having
her drive him home

to his bachelor
penthouse apartment.

I wonder what it's
like to experience

that kind of loneliness.

- Well, don't worry about it.

You're never
going to find out.

[audience laughing]

[upbeat music]