Original subtitles

(theme music)

**

- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Jackie.

- Dad, here's the rent check. - Okay, thanks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

A little short, isn't it?

- Well, that's only my half.

- Well, where's Sara's half?

- Ask Sara, I'm not responsible for her.

I have to get to work, bye. - Okay, honey.

- That's why you shouldn't rent to family.

They take advantage of you.

- Henry, don't jump to conclusions.

Sara will give you her half of the rent.

- Hi. - Hi.

- We're out of orange juice.

- Young lady?

Where's your half of the rent?

- Oh, I'm going to be

a little late with it this month, Dad.

- How late?

- All month.

- So next month you'll give me two months rent?

- No, just one.

- Well, when can I expect next month's rent?

- The following month?

- In other words, you'll be one month late

for the rest of your life.

- Unless I get into trouble.

Is that okay?

- (laughs)

Is that okay? (laughs)

You tell her.

- It's okay.

- It isn't okay.

It's definitely not okay, okay?

- But Da-- - Da-da-da-da-da-da!

Sara, I don't mean to sound unreasonable,

but I have a mortgage to pay on this building,

and I can't pay unless I have the rent from your apartment.

- What can I do? I can't give you money I don't have.

- I thought you were going to get a part time job.

- I haven't even had time to look.

I've been so busy trying to rearrange my classes.

- Well, you better get something quick

because I have an obligation to the bank.

- Okay, okay.

- Hey, what about the orange juice?

- I don't have time. I have to go find a job.

- What's the matter with the kids today, Muriel?

Remember those college students we rented to in the '60s,

the polite, quiet ones with the musical instruments?

They were always respectful.

Always on time with the rent.

Whatever happened to them?

- They kidnapped Patty Hearst.

**

- (grumbles) That's no good.

"Well, what do you expect? 3:00 in the morning."

Shh, you'll wake Muriel.

"So? You woke me.

"I was sound asleep.

Last thing I needed was a cold hand up my back."

- Henry, what are you doing working this late?

- Well, I couldn't sleep.

- Come over here.

You know, Sara not only has an obligation to you,

she also has one to Jackie.

If she can't meet her half of the rent, they're both going to

have to move back up here.

And that wouldn't be fair to Jackie.

- Mmm, that's true.

- So don't feel guilty about what you did.

You were only being a good father.

- Thanks, Muriel.

- However, being a good father,

I know you're concerned that Sara may spend

more time looking for a job than on her school work.

- I am concerned about that.

- So I think it would be nice

if we took the financial pressure off her.

- Hmm, you're right. Yo're right, Muriel.

I'll talk to Sara tomorrow when she gets out of school.

Tell her not to worry.

The least I can do is carry her for a month or two.

- Why not? I carried her for nine.

- It's been nice talking to you, too, Phil.

Mm-hmm.

No, I don't think I'm doing anything Friday night.

Why?

I'd love to.

Great.

I'll see you then.

Bye, Phil.

Well, this isn't Sara, this is Jackie, her sister.

That's okay.

Are we still on for--

Hello?

Hello?

- Hello!

- I'm going to kill you.

I just spent half an hour

talking to this guy, Phil Hampton.

We're hitting it off great, he asks me out,

and when he finds out I'm not you, he hangs up.

- Wow, that's flattering, thanks.

- I wasn't trying to flatter you.

- I don't have time to talk, I have to go to work.

I got a job.

- No kidding.

(car horn blaring) - That's Monroe.

He's going to drive me to work.

I've gotta change.

- What's in the box? - My uniform.

Uniform. What kind of a job did you get?

I'm a waitress at the Fox & Hound.

Monroe saw the ad in the morning paper.

I went for an interview after school.

There were 23 girls applying,

and I got it.

- Hey, that's my little sister.

You get in there and you show them the Rush girls

have what it takes.

What did you say to them?

- Well, I didn't have to say anything.

I was the only one who could fit in the uniform.

Isn't it cute?

- Depends on who's doing the looking.

If it's a guy at the Fox & Hound,

you're gonna get a big tip.

If it's Dad, you're going to get killed.

(knocking on door) - Who is it?

(Henry) It's me, Dad.

Sara, can we talk for a moment?

Oh, I can't now, Dad, I'm just on my way out.

- Well, this will just take a second.

- I'm really in a hurry, Dad. (car horn blaring)

That's Monroe, he's waiting for me.

- Oh, well, oh, it's nothing that can't wait.

Go ahead.

What are you waiting for? - I'm going, I'm going.

(horn blaring)

- Monroe's getting impatient.

- Oh, let him wait.

What is it you wanted to talk to me about?

- Well, yesterday I insisted that

you get a job.

Last night, your mother and I I discussed it and we decided

that it might--might interfere with your school work.

So I'm going to take the pressure off you

for the time being

so you can stop worrying about the rent.

- Sara?

Oh my gosh!

- (gasping)

Wh--wh--what...

What is that?!

- It's my uniform.

I'm a waitress at the Fox & Hound.

- A waitress uniform?

(stuttering) But-but-but-but...

You're coming out from underneath it.

- Those are my uniform panties.

- I've seen more panties on a lamp chop.

- Dad, this is what all the waitresses wear

at the Fox & Hound, we're supposed to be wenches.

I like it.

- Not that much.

In fact, I'm on the verge of not liking it.

I hate it.

- I can't discuss this any further.

I have to go to work.

- Not in that. Take it off.

- What is all the yelling about?

Oh, Sara, why are you dressed like that?

- (grumbles) She's walking out of this house,

she's going to a restaurant

and she's going to wait on people

while she's dressed like that.

- And I still am. - Oh, no, you're not.

- Oh, yes, I am-- - No, you're not.

- Yes, I am. Yesterday you demanded

I get a job, and today I was lucky enough to get one.

And I'm keeping it.

Let's go, Monroe.

- Oh, boy...

- Good luck, honey.

(Monroe) Thanks, Mrs. Rush!

- I can't believe that you're just going to stand there

and let this happen.

- Henry, what are you carrying on about?

She's just going to wait on some tables in a restaurant.

If that's the costume all the other waitresses wear,

I see nothing wrong with it.

- What the hell kind of an attitude is that?

- It's a lot more sensible than yours.

- But...

- Don't look at me. I work in a bank.

Muriel!

Muriel, it's not like you to walk out of the room

in the middle of a discussion.

- Henry, you were being ridiculous.

You can't treat Sara like a child anymore.

She's a big girl.

- I know, but does everyone have to know exactly how big?

- I don't understand the fuss.

People wear less than that on the beach.

- She's not going to the beach, she's going to a restaurant

where they'll have people with clothes on.

There'll be men in the restaurant.

- I know there will be men in the restaurant.

Why do you think waitresses have to dress like that?

- I don't care about other waitresses.

I'm only interested in my daughter.

- Then why don't you stop driving her crazy?

First you tell her she has to get a job, so she gets a job.

Then you tell her she has to quit.

- I thought we agreed

she didn't have to get a job right now.

- But she has a job.

So let her try it and see how it works.

- First let her put her clothes on.

- Henry, do you realize you're being more protective

of them now than when they were little children?

- When they were children, we could've put them

in a playpan, we knew they were safe.

- Henry, what do you want me to do about it?

Keep them locked up so you never have to worry about them?

- Well, I can't help worrying.

I'm a father.

- What does that mean? I'm a mother.

- Well, you were raised differently.

- Go on. I'm listening.

Well, your mother was overly permissive.

Otherwise she'd never let you go on the road with a band.

- We needed the money.

- All right, all right, so she wasn't overly permissive.

But she was unethical.

- (gasping) Wh-- what?!

(stammering)

What did my mother ever do that was unethical.

Before we were married, your mother told my mother

that I wasn't good enough for you.

- What's so unethical about that?

- My mother agreed with her.

- You know something? They were both right.

- Oh? Oh? - That's right.

- And when did you arrive at that conclusion?

- Just now.

- You know, Muriel, I never thought I'd hear you say that.

I mean, we've had our differences,

but I never, I never thought that you'd let the girls

get between us like this.

- I am not letting the girls get between us.

I just wish you'd let them live their own lives.

- I have been letting them live their own lives.

That's what the problem is, because you talked me

into letting them live downstairs in the apartment.

- (gasps) I can't believe

that you have twisted this whole thing around

so now that I'm the one who's to blame.

I demand an apology.

- (scoffs)

You're not, you're not getting it.

- Well, you're not getting any dinner.

Or anything else.

- I can always eat out.

Or anything else.

- Bon appetit.

- Just what do you think you're doing?

- I am packing some things.

- Oh? And where are you going?

- I am going downstairs to live with my daughters for a while

until my husband gets over his change of life.

- I'm warning you, Muriel,

if you leave now, you better plan on staying

a long time.

- (blows raspberry)

- And find a real job.

Because with three people living down there,

I'm going to raise the rent.

- The woman is weird.

Everything's so organized around here lately.

I can't find anything.

She's driving me up the wall, too.

I can never get into the bathroom.

She's always in there developing pictures.

- Come on, I have to get in there.

(Muriel) I'll be through in about 20 minutes.

- 20 minutes?

Jackie, can't you do something to get her out of there?

I'll be late for work.

- Why should I do something?

It's not my fault she's here.

- It's not my fault either. - It is so.

So if you hadn't taken a stupid job with that skimpy costume

and that dumb bust line...

- You're just jealous.

- Jealous? For your information,

the flat look is in.

- Not that far in.

- (groans) Do you know what I think of you?

- Oh, I didn't know you could think.

- You are as thick, stupid, insecure...

- (humming)

Two pinches of flour.

Hmm.

(oven dings)

(humming)

Mmm, good, good, good.

(stove rings)

(phone rings)

- Yeah, could you hold for just a second, please, okay?

(overlapping buzzes)

- Something's burning.

Muriel's back.

- Hi, Mr. Rush!

- Monroe...

- Oh, no! - Monroe...

- Dinner will be ready in just a minute, Mr. Rush,

don't worry about it.

Shoot! (grunting)

- Wha...

(gasping)

What the hell are you doing in here?

Who let you in here?

- Sara and Jackie let me in, Mr. Rush.

- I never thought they'd carry a grudge this far.

- I told them I'd like to fix dinner for you and they thought

that'd be a real nice thought.

- What'd I ever do to you?

- Well, that--that's just the point, Mr. Rush.

You've been so nice to me.

And it's all my fault that you're all alone.

- What do you mean? What do you mean your fault?

- Well, if it weren't for me, Sara wouldn't have got that job

with the waitressing and then she wouldn't have had that

argument with you over the uniform and your wife...

- All right, all right, all right, Monroe,

I know the sequence.

Get on the phone and get a cleaning service up here.

Give me that, I'll put it back in the hall.

- Yes, sir.

- Iwo Jima never looked this bad.

- (shudders) Oh, no.

- Monroe, did you get anyone?

- No, sir, no, I had a--

I had a bad connection.

Mr. Rush, I'm sorry about this mess.

I'll get it cleaned up in no time.

- Really? Where are you going to get the dynamite.

Give me that phone.

Where's the rest of it?

What...

What kind of meal were you cooking that

has a phone in the recipe?

- Oh, you would've loved it, Mr. Rush, I made a salad

salad and there was this vegetable casserole

and then the spaghetti and meatballs.

That's where I made my really big mistake.

- Big? What do you mean, big?

- Well, you don't make spaghetti in a pressure cooker.

- (sighs)

Well, thank goodness you didn't get around

to making the meatballs in there.

- Uh...

I wouldn't stand there, Mr. Rush.

One of those meatballs may drop at any second.

Boy, I really made a mess of this meal.

You know, every time I try to do something nice,

I louse it up.

My whole life has been like this.

(sobbing) I tell ya...

- Now, now, Monroe, it's all right.

You meant-- you meant well.

Uh, look, I brought up pizza.

Why don't you want to sit down with me and share it?

- No, thanks. I'll just stand here and watch you eat.

- Sit down, Monroe.

- Here, let me get this out of the way.

Monroe, how is-- how is everybody downstairs?

- Oh, they're fine. It's a little crowded,

but the kitchen is clean.

- Do you think I was a little harsh on Sara?

- Well, Mr. Rush, I fully understand that

you love your daughter and you're concerned about her

parading around in scanty clothing

in a restaurant full of strange men.

- You agree with me.

- On the other hand, Sara is an adult

and should be allowed to live her own life.

- Eat your pizza.

How do you like that?

I asked for a pizza with sausage and they give me a cheese pizza.

Here, give me that.

(tapping)

- Hi, Dad. Got a minute? - Sara.

Sara, am I glad to see you.

Look, I'm sorry about what happened.

- It's okay, it's okay, I understand, really.

Here's my share of the rent.

- Oh, oh, well, you didn't have to give to me so soon.

- Oh, I wanted to because I'm going to be late

with next month's rent.

I'm not working at the Fox & Hound anymore.

- Oh, you--you didn't quit on my account, did you?

- No, I didn't quit. I was fired.

- What happened? - Well, I was waiting on a table

and this guy pinched me.

I got so mad I dumped a plate of

roast beef and mashed potatoes on his head.

- (chuckling) You didn't.

- It was what he ordered.

- Uh, say, did you tell your mother that you got fired?

- Yes, she told me to come up and tell you.

- Oh, then I guess she'll be moving up here soon.

- Oh, I hope so.

- Hello, Henry.

- Oh, hi, Muriel. How are you?

- Just fine.

I just came to pick up a few more of my things.

- I don't understand,

didn't Sara tell you she was fired?

- Yes, she did.

But that doesn't change anything between you and me.

- Oh, Muriel, don't you think

we've both been a little immature?

- I think you were, Henry.

And if I was, it was because I was provoked.

You said some harsh things about my mother.

- Well, I said the same things about my mother.

- Yeah, but that's okay.

Oh, Henry, I sure missed you.

- Me too.

You know something, Muriel? You're right.

I should let Jackie and Sara live their own lives.

- I'm so glad to hear you say that.

I've lived with them now the past three days.

And, Henry, I--there's something

you should know about our daughters.

- What is it?

- They're crazy.

They're absolutely bonkers,

and I never want to have to live with them again.

Oh, Henry, promise me something.

- What is it? - Please,

whatever you do, don't let me outlive you.

- Will you promise me something?

- Anything.

- Don't go in the kitchen.

(music and applause)

**