All language subtitles for Too.Close.for.Comfort.S01E01.Pilot.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Test_track3_[eng]

(theme music)

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(alarm rings)

(ringing continues)

(ringing stops)

(ringing resumes)

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(muffled ringing)

(ringing continues)

- You, you wait.

(ringing continues)

(ringing fades)

(phone ringing)

- Ohh!
- Henry!

You can't hit
everything that rings.

Hello?

Who's calling?

Oh, one moment, please.

Sara, telephone.
Some boy named David.

Oh, oh, Henry, come on.
You can't go back to sleep.

You have to go to Rafkin's
funeral today.

Come on, you'll be late.

- He's dead, he'll wait.

- Henry, the man was
our tenant for eight years.

His rent checks were
always on time.

Isn't that the least
you can do? Come on.

- Did I hear you say David
was on the phone?

- Yes.
- David's the boy

I had a date with last night.

Why is he calling Sarah?

She did it again, she hits on
every guy I go out with.

- That isn't true.

I did nothing to
encourage David.

I just walked through
the living room

while he was waiting for you
and said hi.

- What were you wearing when

you walked through
the living room?

- Nothing special.
Just what I'm wearing now.

- You see!

Oh, I can't wait to get
my own apartment.

- Well, I can't help it if your
boyfriends are attracted to me.

When it comes to personality,
I just happen to be a ten.

- When it comes to personality,
you happen to be a 36C.

- Next time your sister
has a date come by the house,

you wear nothing less
than a topcoat.

- Why do you always stick up
for Jackie?

- I've known her longer.

- You better get into the
bathroom before the girls do.

- Yeah, I suppose so.

By the time they get out of
there, Rafkin will decompose.

- Oh, and Henry,
don't take too long.

I have a photo session of
the Embarcadero this morning.

- Oh, that was fast.
- Not fast enough.

Jackie beat me to it.

(sighs)

You know, you look gorgeous
in the morning with your

tossled hair
and sexy eyelashes,

sweeping curve of your back.

Warm, firm shape of your
remote control unit?

Forgive me,
I thought it was you.

- I thought it was you.

- Bathroom's all yours, Dad.

- Oh, thank you.

Sara is in there now.

- Ugh, I'll get her out.

Sara.

Sara.

(Muriel screams)

- I swear they get
further away every morning.

- I'm out, Dad.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, take your time.
Mom's in there now.

- My luck, I live in a house

with three women
and one bathroom.

Muriel, I'm going to be late
for Rafkin's funeral.

You know what time it is?

It's 7:30!

- What did Rafkin do
to this place?

- God.

My God, my God.

My God!

- Henry, do you know
a stronger expression

than "Oh, my God"?
- Why?

- You're going to need it
when you see the bedroom.

How expensive is it
to have mirrors

removed from the ceiling?

- Ohh!

Ohh...

- Henry, the whole apartment
has to be redone.

- No one's gonna rent it
looking like this

unless they're
strung out on drugs.

- Ooh, it's magnificent.
- I love it.

- You keep them down here.

I'll go up and
search their room.

- I had no idea Mr. Rafkin
has such great taste.

- He must have used decorators.

- I think you're right.
From time to time,

I've seen some strange
looking women

coming out of this apartment.

- Hey, look at all
the beautiful dresses.

- Who did they belong to?

He wasn't married.

- Probably to Rafkin's sister.

Here's a picture of her.

Talk about
a family resemblance.

- That's no resemblance.

That's Rafkin in drag.

- He was a transvestite.

How exciting.

- Henry, do you know
what this means?

That all those strange
looking women I saw

coming out of this apartment,

they were all Rafkin.

- You know, I must have
held the door for him

on several occasions.

- Come on, let's look at
the rest of the place.

- No, no, I've seen enough,
I'm going back to work.

You know, I should've suspected
something from his rent checks.

They weren't the usual
scenic kind

like landscapes
or seascapes.

- What were they?
- Nubian slaves.

- Hey, I got a great idea.

You want to hear it?
- No.

- Okay, here it is.

You planned to get your own
apartment eventually.

Why wait?

- Are you crazy?

With what am I make at the bank,
I can't afford the rent

Dad gets for this place.

- You could if you
had a roommate.

- Well, yeah, but I don't know
anybody that I'd want...

Oh, no, you don't.

You're one of
the main reasons I went out.

I wouldn't share an
apartment with you.

- Why not?
What's wrong with me?

- You want it alphabetically?

A, you're lazy,
you never wash a dish.

B, you're unreliable.
Every time a guy calls me,

you forget to give me
the message.

C, you're a slob.

Our bedroom looks like a store
room at the Salvation Army.

Don't stop me now.
I'm on a run.

And D, you're a pain in the--

- Hold it.
That's A again.

- Sara, when I can
finally afford to move,

it's going to be out.

Not under.

- I'm 21.

I want some privacy,
some independence.

I don't want my father
monitoring my life.

- But, Jackie,

we'll have plenty of
independence down here.

- Well, I just looked
in Rafkin's bedroom

and am I ever jealous.

- Why?
- He has a mink coat.

- There, that's better.

Very, very, very nice.

"Thank you."

- I'm beginning to worry
about you, Henry.

I think you're developing
a split personality.

- I am not.

"Neither am I."

Chuckle, clunk, clunk,

clunk, clunk, clunk.

Splat.

Oh, what am I doing?

I'm a talented illustrator.

Why am I reduced to drawing
children's comic books.

- Well, to pay the bills.

- I'm 51 years old.

Shouldn't they be paid by now?

I'm 51, Muriel.

I have parts you
can't get anymore.

- Mom, Dad,
can we talk to you?

- There's something
we want to ask you.

You're probably going to say no,
but we want to ask you anyway.

- Even though you're probably
going to say no.

- What is it?
- We'd like to rent

rent the apartment downstairs?
- No.

- You girls probably couldn't
afford the rent anyway.

- I can switch classes so I can
go to school in the morning

and get a job in the afternoon.

- And Dad wouldn't have
to redecorate.

We love it the way it is.

And we're not asking
for any special favors.

- You girls can't get along
in this apartment

where you have two referees.

Down there,
you'll kill each other.

Forget it.
It's out of the question.

- Well, I think you're
a stubborn, closed minded,

grouchy old man, but I mean
that respectfully.

- All we wanted was to have
some privacy and independence.

You may not have noticed,
but we've become two adult,

mature, sophisticated
young women.

All I have to say is...

(blows raspberry)

- Muriel, this may come
as a shock to you,

but I don't want to
have any more kids.

- Wow.

13 and a half triple E.

(whistles)

Well, I'm glad he lived
under us and not over us.

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell continues)

- How do you do?

I telephoned about
the apartment.

- Oh, yes.
I've been expecting you.

Please come in.

- Oh, I like it.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, good.

Please sit down.
- Thank you.

Um, how many bedrooms?

- Two.
- Perfect.

Business has been
so good lately,

I need a larger apartment.

- Well...
(chuckles)

(indistinct)

Well...

What kind of work do you do?

- I'm a personal masseuse.

- Ah.

- Y ou know, massage,
manipulation,

therapeutic baths.

I give relief.

I'm very good.

- Do you...

Do you work at home?

- Of course.
- I'm sorry,

but we can't rent
for professional purposes.

- Oh, but if it's
a matter of references,

I can give you as
many as you want.

Politicians,
business executives,

religious leaders.
jockeys.

- That won't be
necessary-- Jockeys?

The apartment's taken.

- Taken? I only phoned
20 minutes ago.

- Well, it happened
quite suddenly.

An Arab bought it.
Yeah, son of a sheikh.

Wanted to buy
the whole building,

you know how they are.

I just talked him
into renting this apartment.

- I'm here about the apartment.

- Ah, come in, Abdul.
So glad to see you.

How's your dad?

Terribly sorry for
taking up your time.

That woman gives
massages, baths,

everything.

- Well, I could come back later.

- Huh? Oh, no, no, no.

Please, sit down.
Sit down.

Oh, wait.
Before you sit,

what do you do for a living?

- I'm a professional artist.

- Sit.

Very comfortable.

- Yes, isn't it?

Professional artist, eh?

Well, so am I, in a way.

Children's comics.

"Cosmic Cow."

You probably wouldn't
consider that art.

- No.

You work in oils?
Watercolors?

- Poster paints.
- Ah.

- I paint nudes.
- Ah, nudes.

Women?
- That's right.

- Mmm.

- Nice thing about
poster paints,

it doesn't mark up
their flesh.

- Whose flesh?
- The models.

You see, I...

I paint the model's body,

and have her roll around
on the canvas.

It's an innovative forum.

Several galleries are
already interested.

I expect to be hung soon.

- You should be.

- Incidentally, if you know of

any pretty young girls
around here who would like

to model to make a couple
of extra dollars, I--

- Out, out.
- What's wrong?

- Out, I wouldn't rent
this apartment to you,

you lied to me.
- I lied to you--

- Yes! You're no Arab.

We really have to be careful
who we rent to, Muriel.

- I know a young couple
who would love

to have that apartment.
- You do?

I'd like to talk to them.
- They're not talking to you.

- Oh, them, the silent sisters.

- Actually, Henry,

there are some advantages to
having them live downstairs.

- Really? Like what?

- Well, you wouldn't
have to wait in line

in the morning to get
into the bathroom.

- Well, that would be
a welcome change.

- And their bedroom
could be turned

into a wonderful studio for you.

- I hadn't thought of that,
my own studio.

(grumbles)

The thought of it, Muriel,

those two girls
their age,

looking the way they do,
out there on our own.

I don't know, Muriel.

Why is it so hard to grow up?

- They all do it, Henry.

- Not them, me.

My daughters are ready
to go out on their own

and I'm not ready for it.

- Jackie intends to get
her own apartment one day,

and Sara will probably want
to move in with her.

And they're not going to be able
to afford a nice neighborhood

like this one.

At least, Henry, if they're
living downstairs,

we'll be able to
keep an eye on them.

- Hmm, that's true.

- And it would be awfully nice

to make love again with
the door open.

- Keep going, Muriel.

You're getting warm.

At least I am.

=- I guess you'd say I look
okay in a bathing suit.

I have some that
I really look great in that,

but my dad won't let me
wear them.

- Are you still on the phone?

Sara, I told you I was expecting
a call from Roger.

Now, come on.

- I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.

Oh, San Francisco State.

I'm a freshman.
- Sara...

I'm tired of doing
all the moving

while you talk on the phone.

If Roger's been trying
to get through

and the line's been busy,
you're going to hear about it.

- Okay, okay.

Hey, nice talking to you.

Here's Jackie.

It's Roger.

(music playing)

(music continues)

**

- Muriel.

Muriel.

(music continues)

Muriel!
- What?

- Answer a question for me.

- Oh, Henry, I was asleep.
- That's the question.

How can you sleep with the music
playing so loudly downstairs?

- I'm used to it.

I used to sing with
a band, remember?

The only thing that ever kept me
awake was the drummer.

I used to go with a drummer.

- Is this the way it's going to
be with them living downstairs,

parties every weekend.

- Henry, it's their
first party.

- They just moved in
this morning.

Rafkin never
carried on like that.

- Rafkin was older.

He was into Tupperware parties.

- Rafkin had class.

He was a lady.

(sniffing)
What's that--

what's tha--
what's that smell?

(sniffing)

That's marijuana,
that's smoking pot down there.

- Oh, Henry, you don't even know
what marijuana smells like.

You've never smoked it.

- Oh, I suppose you have.

- Many times.

- Oh, yes, I forgot,
the band.

- No, PTA meetings.

- Very funny.
- Darling, come on.

What you're smelling
is incense.

It's very popular
with young people today.

They all burn incense.

- I didn't know that.

Why do they have to
like it so much?

- It kills the smell of the pot.

- That's it, that's it.

I'm going down there,
and I'm throwing everybody out.

- Oh, come on back to bed

and stop being ridiculous,
come on.

That's it.
Come on, come on.

I'm sure they're
not doing anything

we didn't do at their age.

- Oh, God!

- Dad, you better come
downstairs quick

and break up a terrible fight.

- Well, you shouldn't
invite guys to your party

you know don't get along
with each other.

- What, guys?
It's me and Jackie.

And she started it.

- Just remember it was your idea

for them to have
their own apartment.

- Dad, Dad, don't bother
coming downstairs.

Sara and I are old enough to
have our own apartment,

we are old enough to
work out our differences.

I'm the oldest.
I'll handle it.

- I like that.

- What'd she say?
- She said you started.

- I'll kill her.

- Okay, Henry, come on.

They'll work it out
among themselves.

- Muriel, I'll never
forgive Rafkin

for deserting us this way.

- You are a wonderful father.

- Yes.

Goodnight, Henry.

- Goodnight.

(music playing)

**

- Oh, hey, sorry, man.

We didn't know anybody
was in here.

It's okay, it's cool.

(door closes)

- Who is that?
- Not who. What.

Muriel, let's be honest,

we'd have been better off if we
let them move to another state.

Letting them live under us
in their own apartment

is going to drive me crazy.

Every time I see a boyfriend's
car drive up at night on

the driveway, I wonder
what time he's going home,

or if he's going home.

The parties, people
coming and going.

Music playing
all hours of the night.

I tell you, Muriel,
we made a mistake.

(siren wailing)

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's definite,

we made a big mistake, Muriel.

- Henry, what is it?
Is it the police?

- No, it's not just
the police, Muriel,

it's a SWAT team.

(music and applause)