Original subtitles

FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: Second Squad, be advised,

man dressed as a panda robbing Frank's mini-mart.

Suspect is considered armed and adorable.

COLE: Mrs. Thayler, please try to calm down.

Sorry.

Was anything taken?

- No. - How can you say that?

Because they didn't take anything.

Why do you minimize everything?

Uh, I'm confused.

You're saying there was a break-in, but nothing was stolen?

(SIGHS) Watch this.

(WOMEN GIGGLING)

(WOMEN MOANING)

Okay, that's enough. Please turn that off.

We rented it earlier.

It's called Brown Baggin' It VII.

You rented it. I don't watch that kind of thing.

Maybe if you gave it a chance.

BEAUMONT: Again, I'm confused.

And not just 'cause I didn't see Brown Baggin' It I through VI.

Keep watching.

Mrs. Thayler, we're not going to stand here and watch porn with you.

And making a false 911 call is a misdemeanor.

We didn't make a false 911 call.

That's our apartment!

Those animals broke into our home and made a porn movie.

Huh.

Do I strike you as the kind of person

who'd be the man in a relationship?

Yes.

Seriously, come on.

Davis is mad at me. He says I won't let him be the man.

Whatever that means.

All right, let me ask you this, who pulls whose hair? In bed.

(LAUGHING) That's none of your business.

And there you have it. You're a she-male.

What? A she-male? No, I'm not.

Hey, come on, it's not a bad thing.

- No. - You're a cop, okay?

A cop is the man in every relationship.

A woman doesn't have to be a man to be powerful in a relationship.

- Whatever. ABIGAIL: Are you police?

- Yes. - Please, you have to come.

- I just saw him. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

What's going on? What's going on? Tell me.

I was attacked last week. I just saw the guy.

He's in a restaurant around the corner.

You have to hurry. He's gonna get away.

Okay, all right. Show us. Show us.

I'm sorry, what's your name?

Abigail.

Abigail.

ABIGAIL: I was coming home last Wednesday night.

There's an alley near my apartment.

He grabbed my hair. He had a knife.

He? Who's he?

Him.

You sure?

All right. Wait for us back at the precinct. Go on.

You wanna do the ostrich?

No, let's do the frisky beaver.

All right.

Hey, NYPD. Can I see your hands?

I got nice feet, too. You wanna see those?

Stand up.

- I'm gonna take you in. - Oh.

My partner.

All right... Hey, remember high school?

Under the sweater, over the bra?

Why can't a pat down be like that?

- He's clean. - And creative.

We should go out sometime.

You might want to rethink that.

I've been told I'm emasculating.

Boys, we got a job for you.

Really busy right now.

Yeah, I mean, just couldn't find a worse time.

Fine. I'll just watch all this porn by myself.

All right. You got our attention.

The guy in the bag breaks into people's apartments

and films himself having sex.

Hey, didn't Sweaty Mike do something like this?

- No. He killed people. - Oh, yeah, right.

It's not funny. This is a violation of the marital bed.

Zebediah, it's porn, you know.

Without the violation, it's just a really boring documentary

about pizza boys and housewives.

Well, we talked to the distributor

and he says the bagman mails the tapes in anonymously.

Royalty checks go to a PO box.

Allison and I are going to go sit on the box.

We need you guys to watch the DVD's.

See if we can ID any other apartments.

Maybe we can find some "forensic evidence" and ID this guy.

Forensic... What kind of forensic evidence?

What, you think I can't say it out loud? You think I'm shy?

I want him to say it.

Ooh, nice.

I can say it.

Okay. Go ahead.

Semen.

I thought it'd be funnier, but I just... I feel dirty.

I need like a brain-wipe.

Okay, are you guys gonna help us or what?

All right, look. Just to be clear,

you're asking us to spend all day and night watching porn?

You think you can handle that?

I think I speak for Leo when I tell you that

we've been preparing for this moment since the day we were 13.

Okay, Abigail,

we took the guy you pointed out into custody.

Now, I just need to get a few more details about what happened.

Thank you for believing me.

Of course. Why wouldn't I believe you?

I've just been so afraid since it happened.

Mmm.

All right, you told me he had a knife.

And I need to know exactly what happened.

I like your scarf.

It's nice with your eyes.

Thank you.

Look, I know this can be hard to talk about,

but I need you to tell me what happened

so I know how to charge him. You see?

(SIGHS)

I bet you're never afraid.

That's not true.

You have a gun.

That doesn't fix anything.

I feel safe with you.

You have a nice way.

Thank you.

Sorry to waste your time.

- Wait. You can't just let him go. - Abigail, wait!

Abigail!

(STAMMERS) Look, no, he didn't do it.

No, it was him. I'm sure.

Abigail, you mind waiting in the break room while I talk to my partner?

Hey...

What's going on?

He didn't attack her. He was upstate. Attica. Just got out yesterday.

All right, so it was a look-alike.

I'll have Abigail look at some other pictures.

I think it's a waste of time.

What are you talking about?

- Here. - What's this?

I got a vibe off our vic, so I looked into her. Abigail Allen.

She's made over a dozen complaints over the last 12 months alone.

Robbery, rape, various assaults. None of them substantiated.

I don't understand.

There was no assault. She made it up.

She's a serial accuser.

So January 3rd, Abigail says

this guy tried to push her in front of a bus.

Then exactly three days later,

she said this guy tried to force his way into her apartment.

That's a bad week.

I don't get it. Why would she do this?

You know, I had a serial confessor once.

Guy insisted that he stole a truck full of tampons.

Something about stopping small leaks or something.

It's an illness, Casey.

Abigail walks into a precinct, says that she was attacked.

So for an hour, for a day, for a week,

she's the center of attention.

No. I know crazy people.

I don't get that read off of Abigail.

There's something else going on there.

Mmm. Trust me. Just let it go.

You know, I'm gonna go over there.

All right, look, just hold on a second.

- Beaumont. - Yeah?

I have an E.I.D. We need a witness.

Oh. Who? Shraeger?

Yeah. It's her first one.

9:28 a.m. So witnessed.

Good luck. The first one's always the hardest.

Wait, what's an E.I.D.?

It's an emotionally invested detective.

It's an acronym for a cop who invests

far too much time and energy into dead loser cases.

You're allowed one a year. This is yours. Go with God.

You have an acronym for everything?

Y.B.I.D.

Smart-ass.

(WOMEN MOANING ON TV)

You know, if you do it long enough,

even watching porn begins to feel like work.

I don't know, I've never been much of a porn guy myself.

Yeah, right.

What about Dr. Crumb?

She like a bit of the old visual aids?

What the hell is wrong with you? I don't know.

I had sex with her one time in a supply closet.

I can't believe you're dating a medical examiner.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, you send her flowers yet?

No. Should I have?

Dude. Seriously?

What?

Supply closet sex, it's an automatic bouquet.

(SCOFFS)

Back of a cab, it gets her a green plant or an orchid.

Restaurant bathroom sex, bath supplies

or a very long back rub.

What, is this like written down somewhere?

(SCOFFS)

Right. When was the last time you saw her?

Six days ago.

She hasn't returned any of my phone calls either. What? Did I screw up?

Oh.

Pause it right there.

Is that the Williamsburg Bridge?

Mmm-hmm. Good catch.

What is that, like three stories up looking east?

Yeah, it's 382 Delancey.

Loft, second floor.

How many is that?

That's four. We are on a roll.

Ready for the next one?

I'm starting to feel a little nauseous.

I think maybe we should start doing this in shifts or something.

What? Come on, I don't want to watch porn without you.

That is really maybe the gayest thing you've ever said to me

in a long list of many gay things you've said to me.

Was that gay?

FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: All units, robbery in progress at the spandex factory.

Suspect is either a transvestite

or a handsome woman with large hands.

What a nice surprise.

Is this a bad time?

Not at all. Come on in. I was just straightening up.

I have to tell you, I was really peeved

when you said you didn't believe me about that man.

Well, he had an alibi, so he couldn't have attacked you.

- No. I know that now. - Good.

Because I saw the real guy that attacked me this morning.

Here.

What's this?

His address. I followed him home.

(SIGHS) Listen, Abigail, I need you to stop following strange men home.

It's very dangerous.

What am I supposed to do? Who do I call?

Call me. Call me.

- Really? - Yeah.

I just need you to make me a promise in exchange.

I want you to get help for your problem.

I don't have a problem.

You accused 13 men of 13 different crimes within a year,

none of which could be substantiated.

I'm gonna get a soda. Do you want a soda?

No, thank you. Abigail...

(SIGHS)

Margot Stanford.

ABIGAIL: What?

Oh, Margot Stanford. Why do I recognize that name?

Margot's dead. She died a long time ago.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was she your friend?

No. I used to be her.

Did you want ice?

First thing I do when I date a guy is I look for his stash.

You can tell a lot about a man by the dirty movies he enjoys.

Okay, this conversation is inappropriate on so many levels.

I'm gonna go do some work.

Come on, Cole.

I think it's safe to say

that if we never watch a man with a bag on his head

have sex with two women with plastic boobs, it'll be too soon.

Did you get any addresses?

Yeah. Six. Should we split them up, interview the owners?

Sounds good. Be careful, though.

People get a little crazy when they find out

that their house was used as a porn set.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Hi, how's the serial accuser?

Well, her name's not Abigail. It's Margot.

Oh, she changed her name. No surprise there.

Margot Stanford.

- Why do I know that name? - Yeah. Take a look at the file.

Ten years ago, a wealthy private school girl named Margot Stanford

disappeared after the school dance, the spring fling.

Nobody saw her leave.

They found her four hours later

beaten and comatose in Spanish Harlem.

She wasn't able to ID her attacker.

Our serial accuser was the victim of a crime.

Just not the one she keeps talking about.

SHRAEGER: Do you have any idea

when the Stanfords are going to be home?

I think they said November.

They went to Italy or France.

Are they gone a lot?

Yeah, the mister, he likes to travel a lot.

You know rich people, always looking for something to do.

Is there any way to get a hold of them? It's about their daughter.

Oh, Sarah? She's over there. She's watching the SpongeBob.

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

Uh, no, actually, I was talking about Margot.

Margot? Is she okay?

- I worry about her. - You know Margot?

Oh, yes, I raised her since she was a little girl.

But now, with the wigs and changing her name, I don't see her anymore.

Were you working here the night she was abducted?

Oh, yes. She was so excited, you know, 'cause she didn't go to parties.

She wasn't very popular.

When the police called, I ran to the hospital.

Her poor face. She was only 16 years old,

and the doctors, they had to put her in a coma.

Margot went to Brearly, I went to Dalton.

The case was all anyone could talk about for a month.

The medical report said that Margot had cocaine in her system.

Well, you know, these rich kids,

they got too much money and no rules.

But Margot, she was a good girl. She was just lonely.

I tried to teach her what was right, but she wasn't my daughter.

Sarita, ya no mas TV, okay?

No more SpongeBob. Time to do your homework.

I'm sorry, I have to go help her with the homework, okay?

- Thank you. Thanks. - Thank you.

I don't get it.

Why have kids if you're just gonna dump them on the nanny?

Ha! Welcome to my world.

I had an au pair growing up. Heidi.

She was German, 21 years old, I think, when she started.

I'm pretty sure my dad had an affair with her.

So this party that Margot went to, did you go?

- The spring fling? - Yeah.

No. I think my cotillion was the last party I went to.

Sixteen years old, still wearing my dress,

and I hid out on the rooftop reading James Ellroy.

I wanted to join the Israeli army.

Why the Israeli army?

Because they let women fight.

My parents didn't understand me at all.

Everyone I knew was running wild.

Meanwhile, I made them give me a curfew.

I can safely say I've never met a cop quite like you.

(RAUNCHY MUSIC PLAYING)

(WOMAN MOANING)

I know this must be very upsetting,

but can you think of anyone who might have had access to your apartment?

No.

Try and stay calm, Denise. Remember what Dr. Zamacona said.

Look, I'm sorry. This is just all so new for me.

And I'm not the one with the closet full of filthy videos.

So can you confirm that this is your home?

Yes. That's our love seat.

Or as I call it, our judgment chair.

(SCOFFS) We're making jokes now, are we?

Uh, do you think you two could focus for just a few more seconds

while we ask you a couple more questions?

Well, at least the guy with the bag on his head can get it up.

VICTOR: At least those two co-eds don't just lay there.

(MURMURING) Okay, thanks. - Thanks.

COLE: Mr. and Mrs. Blanston, I want to apologize in advance.

This may be upsetting.

(RAUNCHY MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey. That's our kitchen.

Oh, my God!

I know. It's sick and depraved and...

This is so awesome!

Our refrigerator is in porn!

(MR. AND MRS. BLANSTON CONTINUE LAUGHING)

So none of the homeowners know each other.

The apartments are spread throughout the city.

And they're all brownstones or buildings without doormen.

Whoever the bagman is, he knew when people would be away.

Well, CSU tested all their apartments for DNA and found nothing.

So, is there anything else that our victims shared that can help us?

They all seemed pretty miserable.

That's very true. I'd hate to have seen my couple

before they started counseling.

You know, our couples said they were in counseling, too.

Dr. Andre Zamacona.

Zamacona. Yeah. That's the guy.

DELAHOY: Same guy, right? - Yeah.

All right. All we gotta do is

call the doctor in, compare his junk to the junk on the tapes,

- case closed. - I'm not doing that.

(CHUCKLES) - Yeah, you know, while I'm excited

about the idea of a penis lineup,

the evidence is all circumstantial right now.

More like circumcisional, right, pretty?

What we need to do is catch this guy in the act.

Good.

Well, it sounds to me like somebody's going to couple's counseling.

Yeah, and it should be you. You guys fight all the time.

What are you talking about? No, we don't.

- We do, too. - What, are you crazy?

- Am I crazy? - See what I mean?

Okay, look, I don't care.

The point is there's no way I'm going to couple's counseling

with Bubble Boy over here.

Oh, now we're back at the name-calling, right?

Like we're three years old. So what are you afraid of?

- I'm not afraid of anything. - Let's go, then.

(IN SPANISH ACCENT) Okay, Lucy, Ricky, just give it a rest.

Okay, Cole and I will go undercover.

You guys find an apartment, set up a sting.

- Fine. - Whatever.

- He's Lucy, by the way. - Can I...

Someone bring me another glass.

I just got off the phone with a Max Woladarsky at the 23.

He's the one that caught Margot's case for the first time.

Now, his theory is that Margot was in Spanish Harlem

on a drug run, probably for the party.

No, Margot says she doesn't remember what happened.

That sounds right. She was in a coma for 10 days.

You know, it's just hard to believe

that at a party with over 200 kids

that no one comes forward with a single piece of information.

It's not hard for me to believe.

It's rich kids. They don't have to talk to the cops.

They get in trouble, daddy buys them out.

You'd be shocked to know some of the things I've seen people get away with.

Possession of drugs, breaking and entering, sometimes even arson.

Hmm. So, what's with the photos?

These are all pictures of the men that Margot accused of attacking her.

I was hoping if I put all of them together,

(SIGHS) some pattern might emerge.

Hmm.

What do you got, yearbooks?

Oh, yeah, I pulled the original transcripts of the interviews from the case.

I was gonna go through the yearbook

and try to match some of the faces with the names.

There's just no way that Margot went to Harlem by herself.

Oh, Casey, you are officially neck deep in your first E.I.D.

Even if we find the person who assaulted Margot,

it's going to be practically impossible to convict them

because Margot can't go on the stand.

Well, and that's gonna stop you?

Hell, no. I started this case. I'm gonna finish it.

What is this?

- This is Dalton class of 2000. - Walsh.

(SIGHS) - What? What is it?

Oh, what, is somebody in here? Hmm.

(CHUCKLES) Oh. "Miss Casey Shraeger..."

(MUTTERING)

"...has made quite a splash her sophomore year."

(CHUCKLES) - I told you I was bookish.

It's adorable.

Nicole Brandt. I didn't know you went to school with Alvarez's wife.

Yeah, Nicole? We weren't really BFF's.

Hey, you know what? You got two types here, Casey.

You got guys with long blonde hair, see, and then

guys with short, dark curly hair. There's your pattern.

Of course.

Margot wasn't assaulted by one person.

There was two of them.

Detective, I have those sketches

- you asked for. - Oh, great.

This is what all the blonde guys look like

if you combine their features.

And the other one is the brunettes.

- Great. Thanks. - Mmm-hmm.

(SIGHS)

All right.

Gotcha.

Hi.

I can't believe you invited me out to lunch.

Oh, it's not like I asked you to go somewhere nice.

That's true. I take it back.

Listen. Do you remember someone named Margot Stanford?

Remember, she went to that spring fling and she disappeared

and then showed up in Harlem later?

She'd been beaten, cocaine in her system, she was in a coma for 10 days.

I was at that party.

I was dating Carl Hewlett, captain of the baseball team.

(CHUCKLES)

We drank a bottle of ouzo, passed out in the coatroom.

No offense, but you've slept with every prep guy in New York, right?

I wasn't that big a slut.

Your nickname was ATM.

I thought that's 'cause I was always lending people money.

Oh.

Do you recognize these guys?

Sarah Swenson dated this guy sophomore year.

He went to Choate. Big drug dealer.

Total ass. He roofied her once, did his thing.

(SIGHING) Ah, high school.

Yeah. Good times.

Funny how we turned out, you and me. A lawyer and a cop.

It was either that or defend the honor of Israel.

All right, I got to go, but thank you.

That's it? What about lunch?

Oh, take my advice. Stay away from the oysters.

BEAUMONT: Thanks for squeezing us in at the last minute, Dr. Zamacona.

Not a problem.

So, how many years have you been married?

Five years.

But we've been together seven.

I really do love Ted.

Well, that's good. And Ted?

I love Alice.

Say it to her.

I love you, Alice.

That's great. So...

What brought you here today?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well, all Ted can ever think about is sex.

Honey...

Ted, shh. Let her finish.

He's like an animal.

I mean, I'm a very sexual person,

but I just feel like I can't keep up.

You know, I wake up and he's on top of me.

Before dinner, after dinner, at my father's wake.

Ted, are you able to hear what your wife is saying?

Oh, I hear it. Yep.

How does it make you feel?

(CLEARING THROAT) Dirty.

Now, let me ask you a question.

Do you two ever make time to get away?

COLE: We're going away this weekend.

BEAUMONT: Our one trip a year.

COLE: We're leaving right after this session.

Oh, great. Great, good.

Well, before you leave, I'm wanna try a little trust exercise.

It's a way for the two of you to connect intimately,

but not sexually. Okay?

Let's stand up.

Let's take your coat off.

Yeah. And empty your pockets of any change,

keys, cell phones.

(CLEARING THROAT)

There we go.

Now I want the two of you to hold each other.

What?

Just simply hold each other.

No words.

(CLEARING THROAT)

That's it. Good.

Good. And your faces should be touching.

Nice.

Now, I want the two of you to hold this position for 15 minutes.

- Seriously? - (SHUSHING) No words.

There you go.

(NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(WHISPERING) Oh, Ted.

You are so dead, Alice.

Look who it is.

It's Eric Delahoy.

Your male friend.

Look, he brought flowers. How thoughtful.

He must really like you.

(SPEAKING KOREAN)

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I don't speak Chinese.

I'm Korean.

You have sex with me, and you don't even know my nationality?

Okay. A, you had sex with me, all right?

And B, it's not like you ever asked me if I was Italian,

you know, or like, from Spain.

(STAMMERS) What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you pissed at me?

I mean, I'm the one who's been calling you like a sap, you know.

I figure you have sex in a supply closet after stealing an MRI,

it means something.

I got fired.

Why?

For helping you.

My boss said I'm lucky they don't press charges.

I've got 30 minutes to clear my stuff.

Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me talk to the guy, okay?

I can explain it to them. They can't just fire you, okay?

Please don't. Just go.

- But what about us? - There is no us.

Why? Just because I...

Because you're sick and you won't get help.

(STAMMERS) Wait, stop.

You saw something. You saw something on that MRI, didn't you?

Well, stop it. What? I've been calling you.

The MRI didn't finish, but there's definitely a mass inside your head.

You should see a surgeon.

But you already told me you won't,

and I can't get involved with somebody who won't take care of themselves. So...

Goodbye, Detective.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Casey.

Hi, can I come in?

Of course. Come.

I was just watching America's Most Wanted.

They should totally do an episode on all the men that keep attacking me.

Listen, I have to show you something.

I think it might be upsetting, but it's important that you look at it, okay?

You're scaring me a little.

Remember how we talked about Margot?

How you used to be her?

Take a look.

You recognize those guys?

No.

You sure? Take another look. It's important.

I've never seen them before.

Abigail.

Margot.

Are you sure

these guys didn't attack you 10 years ago?

I don't know what you're talking about.

But remember when I told you that guy

pushed me down an elevator shaft last Christmas,

well, I think I just saw him

trying on sneakers at the Foot Palace two blocks from here.

No. No, none of those crimes are real. None of them.

(TAPPING PAPER INSISTENTLY) - This happened to you.

This did! This is real.

You were beaten and left for dead in Harlem when you were in high school.

This happened to you.

Help me catch the people that did this to you.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think you should leave.

FEMALE DISPATCHER ON RADIO: All units, disturbance on Avenue B.

A shirtless man is swinging a dead pig at his wife in a threatening manner.

Why are all the good ones swinging a dead pig or gay?

I don't understand. It was only two parking tickets.

Guess the city's cracking down on deadbeats. Come on in.

Have a seat.

How'd it go?

Oh, he thinks he's here for unpaid parking tickets. Where's Treadwell?

I had a uniform pick him up. He's a lawyer now.

Drug dealer turned lawyer. There's a joke in there somewhere.

Ah, here we go.

Chris.

I don't know you.

It's me. Will. From school.

Shut up.

They told me this was about...

Oh, my God. You don't think that they...

Will, shut the hell up.

They didn't put that here so we can check our hair.

Keep your stupid mouth shut.

And there it is.

You know, the only way to build a case against these guys

is to get one of them to confess.

Yeah. Well, the lawyer's definitely not gonna talk.

Mmm-mmm.

All right, you keep him busy. I'll talk to the other one.

Okay.

So I hear you used to sell drugs in high school, Chris.

Detective, I'm formally requesting a lawyer.

Stan Jerod. He works at my firm, Hastlow and Kern.

You can't ask me any more questions until he gets here.

Well, I'm not gonna ask you more questions.

But I am gonna read to you from this book, The Inner Light.

Do you know it? It's about finding spiritual peace through reflection.

You're gonna read me a self-help book?

Yeah, you comfortable?

That's good. "Chapter 1, Love Yourself.

"We are all born good. Inside each one of us is a newborn spirit,

"a can-do teddy bear yearning to do the right thing."

You have breakfast this morning, Will?

- Uh, yes. - Yeah? What'd you have?

Uh, eggs, some toast.

Yeah, what kind of toast? Wheat, white?

- Sourdough. - Sourdough.

Anytime while you were eating your eggs and sourdough toast,

did it maybe cross your mind that

today would be the day your past catches up to you?

Hmm?

(TAPPING TABLE)

You went to Choate, right? I went to Dalton, same year.

I looked at your transcripts. Said you were a straight A student.

And then in mid-April, your grades started to slip, you were failing tests.

I'm just curious if there was...

There was anything that happened that month

that might have made it hard to concentrate.

My parents got a divorce.

Oh.

You sure? I thought that was the year after.

I'm talking about your junior year,

maybe something after the spring fling.

Can I just pay for my parking tickets and go home?

This isn't about parking tickets and you know it.

(SIGHS)

How much is your trust fund worth? Is it like 10 million or 15 million?

That is a lot of ex-lax.

(LAUGHS)

That's what I call it, I call my trust fund ex-lax.

Just makes everything smooth and easy to deal with.

That's why I don't use it.

It's hard to be a real person when you have so much money, huh?

I'm not even sure what that is.

(LAUGHS)

Real person.

I get it, trust me.

I bet you'd give all your ex-lax to forget about her.

Margot.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

There's a lawyer here for Slansky.

But he didn't ask for a lawyer.

I've been retained on his behalf.

By who? You know that's not how it works.

He only gets a lawyer if he asks for one.

Do you want a lawyer, Will?

No.

Mr. Slansky, don't be stupid.

Come on. You heard the man. Let's go.

All right.

Let's talk.

Hey. How's it going?

Hey.

Well, I think Will wants to confess,

but he knows he doesn't have to.

So he's just kind of flirting with it.

Well, take your time.

You know, play it right, because as soon as he lawyers up, it is over.

Yeah. No pressure.

Look. You know this guy better than anyone. That world, that type.

It's like that game, Operation,

where you gotta get that little piece out without touching the sides.

I always hated that game.

Yeah. Me too.

Listen, Walsh.

Yeah?

Thanks for helping me out with this.

Yeah. I mean, it's your first time going deep.

Someone's gotta help you through it, right?

- Now, go get him. - Okay.

You know what I've noticed?

People who commit crimes,

I mean, normal people, not sociopaths,

they have the most incredible memories.

They can remember every little detail about something they did,

whether it's the color of the lamp or the look on someone's face.

It's the adrenaline.

I think. Your heart rate goes up.

Everything else slows down.

Hmm. Never thought about it like that.

You know, I met Margot last night.

She's got black hair now.

I mean, Tuesdays. On Wednesdays, she's a redhead.

You think I could get some more soda?

She walked into the precinct, said she'd been attacked, except she hadn't.

That's what she does now.

Once a month, she walks into a police station

and tells them she's been attacked.

- That's crazy. - Yeah.

You'd be crazy too if somebody beat you half to death

and left you on a street.

I was reading this article this morning

about how most of the toys from China are made in prison.

- Hmm. - That seems wrong,

all the things kids play with being made by prisoners.

Yeah? Why does that bother you?

I don't know.

I had a lot of toys growing up. Anything I wanted.

Now it just seems warped.

Like everything they bought me was a lie.

Yeah.

You know what I realized recently?

All the rich kids that I grew up with,

I mean the really rich ones, they weren't kids.

But they weren't adults either. You know what I mean?

It's like this weird netherworld

of no boundaries, no responsibilities.

Yeah. When I dropped out of college, my parents gave me a car.

(WILL LAUGHS) See?

They thought I was depressed.

"Go to Europe," they said. "Take some time."

None of it mattered.

And as far as they were concerned, I never had to be anything.

So I grew up to be nothing.

Mmm.

So what happened that night, Will?

You know, she was a nice girl.

I noticed her right away.

But Chris said he saw her first.

"Margot." Like an order. "Move."

And Chris got her high. Third floor bathroom.

I think it was her first time. First party, first drink.

Chris always got the girl.

He was dangerous. Even in the third grade,

there was something wrong with him.

Whose idea was it to go to Harlem?

Chris. He said he needed supplies.

He said it'd be fast. He asked Margot if she wanted to come.

She was really wasted.

I drove.

They sat in the back, made out.

I don't think she was feeling well.

And Chris tried to get her dress off.

She hit him and he hit her back.

And then he opened the back door and threw her out.

I couldn't believe it.

I tried to stop, but Chris said, "No. Keep going."

I was scared.

The next day it seemed like a dream.

The cops came to our school, but all the parents hired lawyers.

And I had kind of a breakdown that summer,

spent a few months in a private hospital.

And my parents told me it was normal.

They got me a sailboat when I got out.

(SCOFFS)

What do you think they'll buy me when I go to prison?

(SIGHING HEAVILY) Nice work.

Treadwell?

I sent a blue and white to pick him up.

Mmm.

I think I need to go tell Margot.

Are you sure?

I mean, she doesn't even remember the crime.

Yeah, she needs to know.

Right this way, ladies.

Wow, you sure have a lot of apartments.

- And you're about to have one more. - Oh, no!

But I don't think you're gonna want to videotape the sex.

Please. I can explain.

Is this part of the movie?

DELAHOY: Okay.

There'll be plenty of time for that, Dr...

Whoa, who the hell are you? You're not Dr. Zamacona.

No, no, no, no, no. That's the "judgment chair" guy.

Remember? One our victims.

Victor Baker, right?

Please don't tell my wife.

How did you...

I'm a locksmith. After our third couple's counseling session,

Dr. Zamacona hired me to change the locks in his office.

- I took a key. - Why?

I got the idea at a session.

The doctor's appointment book was out. He left the room.

I thought about all those couples, all that real estate.

I got excited.

Do you think I'll still get royalties in prison?

And that, children, is why the Brown Baggin' It series ended at 17.

(SIGHS) Ladies.

- You all right, Cole? - Yep.

(LAUGHS) Oh!

I thought you were Chinese food.

Hi.

I just woke up from a nap.

(SIGHS) I had the strangest dream that my nanny called

and said the policemen had come to see her.

(LAUGHS)

It wasn't a dream. You should call her. She misses you.

Listen, I just wanted you to know that

the guys who hurt you, they're going to jail.

You don't have to be scared anymore. You're safe.

I ordered Chinese food.

The delivery guy tried to kiss me last week,

but they have good wonton soup.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

Would you sit with me

and watch TV?

I don't really feel like being alone.

Of course.

(TURNS ON TV)

(MAN SPEAKING ON TV)