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Clara?

Dove?

Clara!

Clara!

Where am I?

Clara, Clara...

I’m cold...

Erin!

Erin!

Erin!

Where are you?

Erin!

Erin!

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Do you know this flowers that bloom every summer?

They make the whole field look like it's glowing.

They remind me a lot of Dove's eyes.

Bright orange.

It’s interesting.

Her eyes weren’t always that way.

When she was born, they were blue.

I wish she could tell me what happens in the winter time.

My brother and I would always go to the field,

we pick the flowers,

we eat them and...

He complained about how spicy they were,

but he would still eat them anyways.

Those where better times.

When I was a lot happier.

It’s almost as exciting as

the day before Dove was born.

I remember I took her egg,

hold it up to my ear.

She spoke to me.

I spoke back to her.

The day she was born was really stressful though,

because she was having a very hard time and she was struggling

and

there was absolutely nothing I could do about it, because

it was her journey and...

You know, you’re not supposed to help hatch out of the egg.

It was something she had to figure out on her own.

It’s kind of how I’m feeling right now.

I just don’t understand.

How do we prepare for the winters,

if we don’t know how long they are gonna be?

You can’t get out now, there’s cows at the front.

My brother used to talk to them.

That’s impossible.

Well, I can remember a time I took a

walk through the woods and found a

herd of horses out standing in a group, probably six or eight of them.

All

just in the same pose,

their tails weren’t swatting flies, their feet weren’t stamped,

and they weren’t eating. They were just

standing there almost like statues. And they were

creating a

majestic sense of loss, they portrayed.

It almost emanated like waves away from them.

Each one as a.

Creating a whole that just sent out this intense feeling of grief

that something they had will never be the same again.

It was all inspiring and

intensely emotional.

We’ve got to learn to

communicate more like animals do,

without making a sound.

Wether it’s a change in a heartbeat or...

just reading each others minds.

Sometimes it seems like, specially cows

can even read ours.

If you wanna feel a higher power, or know there’s a higher power,

you gotta walk out in the field in the middle of the night and

stop and look up and stare at the stars and

look at the moon and just wait for

power of something to start to flow through you. It just.

Gives you a chance to talk to

those that went before and those you lost and

say the things that you didn't get a chance to say before or

ask the questions you need to say now and

get answers and hopefully walk away with

a better frame of mind, and a little more peace in your soul.

Do you think we can go back?

I don’t think we can go back in life.

I feel like we can take pieces with us and

carry’em forward. I think we can

remember them and cherish them and

hope that they still there when we come back,

but nothing's ever exactly the same.

Grass has grown, the trees has grown and fallen over and

the animals have found new paths...

We find a whole new world when we wake up.

When I was a kid my original mother left me like

goats, or cows, or sheep leave

a kid or a calf or a lamb because they

don't think they gonna make it and they don’t manage to survive either because

they weren’t going to originally. They didn’t have,

the help they needed to survive.

It’s amazing sometimes how an animal

either can be so cruel or not

so intuitive to know what’s worth putting their time into.

I was lucky enough to

have another woman come in and take the place of my mother and

raise me and give me the love and the support

and everything I needed in life to

let me survive and make me happy,

and now that she is gone

it’s my turn to make sure she’s

taken care of and got the things she needs and...

The time going forward.

There are traces that everything leaves behind.

This creature left us its skin behind. Do you see?

There are traces we can follow

and there are traces that we don’t see.

There are things that we cannot understand,

but when we see the snake skin,

we know the snake came before us

and left its trace for us to see.

Do you see the puddles and the water?

Do you see the liquid all around us?

When we awake, there’s more and more and more.

Everything started as a solid

and made a transition into a liquid.

Things come from solid and move into the liquid state.

And when we wake up, we see the puddles

and you know we don't approach to still waters, to stagnant waters.

Some people believe that those are portals to other places

and to other states of being or realms of consciousness.

But when I look into the waters,

I see all the creatures

and all the ancestors of where I came from.

What do you see when you look into those waters?

My grandmother and another mother

awoke in the springtime

to find white everywhere,

and they went out and walked, and they got wet.

It was like walking through the water, it was like walking through a lake,

and they got wetter and heavier and they struggled to make it back home.

And as they were walking back, they found a cow

that was lying still in the whiteness.

And my grandmother was brave and approached the cow

and saw that the cow’s eyes

were still wide open and could still see.

But the cow was not moving and the cow was not alive.

But she harvested the eye of the cow

because she stood looking at the cow

that was silent and still.

She could see into its eye,

and she could see that there were whole other worlds

inside the eye of the cow.

And she knew the cow could see further than we see

and see brighter lights than what we see.

They could see beyond the traces that we can see.

And so she harvested the eyes of the cow as a reminder for us

that there’s always more than what we see

or more than what we can follow.

And we will never be able to see everything.

We’ll never be able to see it all.

Hello?

I was raised by four parents.

I had one mum and three dads.

Sometimes it felt like I was being raised by a pack of wild beasts.

You never really knew what was going to happen.

And...

As a result of this,

my world view is very broad.

I was sorrounded by

so many different believes.

For example,

every one of my dads believed

something different about what happened when we went to sleep.

One of them always said

that the Sun never came up while we were sleeping.

I thought that the birds must all be going to certain place for the long night.

My mother swore that it wasn’t just us at the Earth who went to sleep.

Just after we did, woke up just before.

Yes, so...

There's all sorts of different stories and

that's all they really are, stories.

None of us can tell if they're true or not because we're all asleep.

I was pretty fortunate to mostly have the same family group,

every time I went to sleep and woke up.

But there was this one sleep,

from which we woke up and.

I happened to have a new older sister,

and none of us really knew how she got there

or why she was there.

It took some time to get used to.

But after a while we realized,

unconsciously realized, that we were better for it.

Soli was born just this season.

These kids they grow up so fast

and they really have to, to be ready for the winter.

And it seems like just yesterday,

we had to lick the membranes of his eyes right after he was born and.

I know that next spring

when it’s time for him to wake up,

we’ll be there to lick his eyes clean

and get him ready for next season.

You are not gonna believe this,

but one of my fathers once told me

that he came from a place,

a totally different place.

He said he came through a lake,

as if it was a gate.

What do you mean?

Like a pond?

Yes, like a pond.