Original subtitles

Hold it.

And put Jesse and his pals on a collision course..

Miss Daisy Duke!

With Boss Hogg's playful new scam.

Dang, dang.

Hey!

What more could a man ask for?

Yee-haw!

Dang!

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

'Yee-haw!'

Well, it all started

on one of them fine Hazzard mornings

the dawn bright and clear as new squeezed cider.

Bo and Luke was out givin' the General a stretch

while some other citizens of Hazzard

were tending to their affairs.

- We're all set. Let her go. - Yeah.

Yeah, she's set.

Hold it!

Hold it there, you dang fools.

- This ain't the legal way. - Hogwash!

We're the Ridge Raiders

and that's the way we did it 40 years ago.

Yes, siree.

Forty years ago, we was all young moonshiners.

We needed law and order then. But now, things has changed.

Well, Boss Hogg ain't.

He's tryin' to steal the money from the Senior Citizen's Center

and we ain't gonna let him get away with it.

- Stand back. - Amos, Amos, you...

Amos!

Amos, you forgot your detonator.

Well, that gets us off to a bang.

Meanwhile, the boys were heading back to the farm

concerned about their Uncle Jesse.

He'd been acting mighty strange lately.

You know, Luke, I'm really worried about Uncle Jesse.

He ain't never burned a gooseberry pie before.

Then there's all them mysterious phone calls.

Well, how about him pussyfooting off all the time

without tellin' us where he's going.

Say, you don't suppose it could be a women, do you?

Could be. He's a Duke.

Yeah, he is.

Uh-oh, here's a Duke in trouble.

We better pull on the side of the road, see what's wrong.

- Hey, Uncle Jesse. - What's wrong with your truck?

Well, the fuel pump was acting up, I got it.

- The hose clamp's loose.. - Lucky we headin' by.

- Lemme take a look. - No, that's alright.

That's alright, I got it.

Uncle Jesse, where'd you scoot off to so early this mornin'?

Well, I uh, I uh..

Well, I had some things I had to attend to.

Oh, listen, you two, I may be gettin' long in the tooth

but I can still handle my own affairs.

I'll see you back at the place.

- Alrighty. - Yes, sir.

Bye.

Phew!

He's acting stranger than a hound dog under the full moon.

I wonder what he's doing up this neck of the woods anyways.

- I don't know. - You know what?

Henstep's place is right back over the hill.

We go up there and see is if can get a little information, huh?

Alrighty.

"Are you beautiful? Talented? Sexy?

Then you can be a.."

"A Pretty Piggy!"

"Sign up right now for the auditions." You hear?

- Let's go! - Alright.

- Come on, girls. - Come on.

Buster, what in tarnation are you doing here?

I left Enos hot on the trail of them Duke boys

and come back here to have my lunch.

Anything wrong with that?

Yeah, there's something wrong with that.

Eatin' on duty, that's a no-no.

Now, you just go stick with Enos. You hear me?

And so that he don't lose them Duke boys

instead of stuffin' yourself on company time.

Twelve hundred hours.

I always eat at twelve hundred hours.

- 'Hey, Uncle Jesse.' - Hey, Daisy.

Jesse Duke, what are you doing here?

I'm signing up Pretty Piggys, not old goats.

I want to talk to you, and I need your full attention.

Yeah, careful, your wrinkling my suit.

- Get in there. - Jesse, now look.

Alright, J.D., I'm tired of being shucked and jived

by the likes of you.

Now I wanna know, as head of the building committee

what happened to the money that was sent down here

for the senior citizen's home?

Hm?

What money is that...

You know what money I'm talking about.

The money that came down from the state capital

to build a recreational hall here for the old folks.

Oh, you mean that money.

That money.

Well, Jesse, you know how it is with government money.

I mean, there is nothing but details and red tape

and boondoggling.

There's no tellin' how many years go by

before that money shows up.

Just knock it off, J.D.

You think just 'cause they're old

they can be lied to and cheated.

Now you just hold on, Jesse.

You talkin' about misappropriating

government funds?

That's a very serious charge.

Well if the sticky finger fits, wear it.

'But let me tell you this, J.D.'

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

And if I find out you misappropriated

or spent one dime of that money

you're gonna be in more trouble

than a one-legged man at a Hazzard County butt kickin'.

Get out the way.

Boy, Jesse sure is in a dander.

If he finds out that you're using the senior citizen's money

to build your playpen.

You shut up that flappin' frontal of yours.

I told you, that's supposed to be a secret.

Ah, what the heck.

Jesse can't prove nothing anyhow.

And besides, I'm the town treasurer.

So it's up to me to decide how that money's spent.

Now you get back on the job

or your first week's gonna be your last. Get..

'Boss! Boss! Boss!'

The boys had dropped by Henstep McCullum's

to see if he had any notions about ol' Jesse.

But Henstep's wife said that he'd been away a lot

an acting more touchy than usual.

Hell, I sure hope Uncle Jesse ain't involved

with whoever is sabotaging Boss.

No way, not Uncle Jesse.

You know if he had any gripe with anybody

he'd settle it nice and legal-like. Wouldn't he?

Uh-oh. Cousin, we got company.

Enos' been there all day.

Well, cousin, do you enjoy havin' a tail?

Do I look like a possum? Don't answer that.

Hang on.

Alright.

Bye-bye, Enos.

While the boys were shakin' Enos

ol' Jesse was trackin'

hot as the beagle on his first hunt.

We, the Ridge Raiders, do solemnly swear

to uphold what's fair and square.

And to whoop up on anybody

what tries to stop us.

All for one, and one for all.

Now, you're all gonna end up in the jug

if you keep up with this tomfoolery.

Now, Jesse, don't start up again.

Yeah, again?

Now, now, boys, if you just give me a chance

I'll get this senior center all fair and square and legal-like.

Now, I wrote a letter to the governor

and also wrote to the President of the US of A.

Well, you keep on writing. We'll keep on dynamiting.

Yeah!

Now, Amos, you're just headed for trouble.

'You're losing your touch.'

Up at the mine, you went off and left your detonator.

I took it home and stashed it.

Go ahead and keep it. I got a spare.

This sure beats sittin' in a rocking chair.

I haven't felt this good since I got my new uppers.

Well, let's go, Raiders.

Boys, if you'll just give me another chance.

Dang, dang, ding..

Ding... clear.

Sounds like that left motor mount's comin' loose.

You got a crescent wrench handy?

Uh, check Uncle Jesse's tool box.

- Hey, Bo. - Huh?

Take a look what Uncle Jesse had stashed in the barn.

This here's a home-made detonator.

This is as good as what we had in the Marines.

You mean, Uncle Jesse is tying with them explosions?

As much as I hate to admit it, it looks pretty incriminating.

We best throw it in the creek.

You got it.

Hey, Bo!

They catch us with that detonator

we're up a creek without a paddle. Come on!

Enos, go the other way. We got 'em surrounded.

Yes, sir!

That ol' tud just put a clod in the buttermilk.

Yee-haw!

I swear, Buster and Enos

couldn't mess up a demolition derby.

Oh, gosh. That was better than a ride at Disneyland, eh?

You are right.

While Bo and Luke were busy dumping their detonator

the Ridge Raiders were fixin' to use their spare.

Cooter!

Thought it was Judgment Day.

- What y'all up to? - Oh, enough.

- Cooter, you seen Uncle Jesse? - Not for a couple of days.

Why? Did he run off with that little ol' dimestore gal?

- Man, I hear she's dynamite. - I wish it was that simple.

Now, me and Bo got the bad feeling

that Jesse and a couple of his old cronies

are getting into a bind.

You know, that's funny.

Ya'll know a Amos Petersdorf?

- The old fire chief, huh? - Very same.

Amos brought his big ol' beast in here

to get it tuned up, bored out, I mean, the whole nine yards.

Him and that car, they were quite a pair, weren't they?

Yeah. Well, Amos is a tightwad. I mean, he's famous for it.

He spent more on it than the whole thing's worth.

Amos gettin' his car tuned up and the sheriff chasin' us?

Cousin, something's building up to a head of steam.

Yeah, we better find out what it is before it blows.

- Yeah. - Let's get out of here.

- Thanks a lot, Cooter. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Take it easy, grizzly.

And so, while Bo and Luke were hunting for Uncle Jesse

he's no more than a hop, skip, and a jig away.

Ol' Jesse is determined to be law abiding.

And stopping Boss from stealin'

from the Senior Citizen Center

and getting bogged down in bureaucracy for his pains.

I'm still getting the busy signal

up to treasury department.

- What about the governor? - They got me on hold.

- Any luck at the White House? - I ain't made the connection.

Well, I'm much obliged to you, Mabel.

- Uh, about the dance, Jesse. - What dance?

Well, you know, the Catfish Insider Stomp.

Which one you figurin' on askin' to take me? Bo or Luke?

Oh, well, uh, both of 'em.

But then, they'd probably start a big argument over you

and we'd have a big family squabble and..

Well, I don't think I could take that right now, Mabel.

You, you best ask somebody else.

Well, I swan!

J.D. Hogg's Playpen. Soon to open.

Cousin Boss, something just happened

I think you'll be interested in.

Meanwhile, back at the playpen

Old Boss Hogg was moving right along

with his plans to turn Hazzard into Pig City.

- Alright, you ready in there? - 'Almost, Boss.'

Alright, gather around, my lovelies. Gather around.

I'm gonna show you now, what you'll be wearin'

if you are selected as one of my Pretty Piggies.

Move it. Move it, everybody.

That's it, that's right. Right over here.

And now, may I present Miss Daisy Duke!

I'm gonna send that Chicago playboy

right back to Sunday school.

God bless, Daisy.

Hi, Enos.

Buster, look at that. Ain't her outfit something?

I designed it myself.

Didn't you leave something off, Mr. Hogg?

Oh.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Your still up on Pine Ridge just blowed up.

Yeah, my still up on Pine Ridge was just... blown up!

Did you catch who done it?

No, but Judge Simpson was passing, and he said

it was the masked men in red kerchiefs again.

Red kerchiefs. Again?

You boob!

You never told me anything about red kerchiefs before.

- 'You sure?' - 'That's what he said.'

He left this little red pig sticker, Mr. Hogg.

"Don't be a pig, Hogg."

Well, that's another one of their typical tricks.

Leaving behind insulting messages.

If this was 40 years ago, I could've sworn

it was them Ridge Raiders.

Ridge Raiders?

No, no. It must have been them Dukes.

Wait, Boss, I know they didn't blow up your still.

I'm sure of it. Enos, tell him! You know they wouldn't do that.

I don't-I don't, well..

Enos, why aren't you looking at me?

- There's so much to look at. - Enos, this is no time for...

Will you two stop standing there, jabbering like that?

Now, you go out and grab them Duke boys. You hear me?

I'm gonna throw the book at 'em.

Okay, Boss.

- No, Enos. - I'm sorry, Daisy.

- Daisy Duke! - Yes, Boss.

- Hey, Sue Ellen. - Hey.

Why, your grandpa sure keeps his fire engine in fine shape.

It ain't the only thing in fine shape around here.

- Hey! - Oh, stop it.

Say, Uncle Jesse ain't been around lately, has he?

No. Has he been disappearin' too?

Too?

You mean your grandpa has been, uh..

Something strange is going on around here.

Okay, hold it right there.

Bo and Luke Duke, I'm placing you under arrest.

Arrest? What for?

For what? For blowing up Boss Hogg's still up on Pine Ridge.

That's for what.

Good thing the postman saw which way they went.

Uh, sheriff, when did that happen?

Just an hour ago, Bo.

Well, we was nowheres near the place.

Tell it to the judge.

Judge Jefferson Davis Hogg.

'Put the cuffs on 'em, Enos.'

This time, they ain't gettin' away.

I'm sorry.. Hey!

You don't see that much anymore.

Hey, ain't this right back where we started from?

Uncle Jesse. We gotta talk to you.

Boys, I'm in hurry right now. I'll catch you later.

Wait a minute, Uncle Jesse. The law is after us.

They think we've been blowing up all of Boss Hogg's stuff.

Oh, I didn't figure on that, well..

Uh, we-we'll figure out something about that later.

This mornin', we almost got caught with that detonator

you had stashed in the barn. Now what's going on?

Now, boys, I know we always tell each other what's happenin'

'but this time, it's different.'

There's other folks involved, and I-I've given my word.

Other folks?

Now, a man's obligated to keep his word.

But don't a man have an obligation

to tell his family what's wrong?

Now, Uncle Jesse, that's what you always taught us.

Boys, I'm gonna need some, some breathing space

for about three or four days. Now..

I tell you what.

Why don't you go over and visit with Aunt Lavinia?

You'll be safe there, and then, then I'll catch up with you.

See you later, Luke. Bo.

- You be careful. - Oh, yeah.

Heck, he ain't spoke to Aunt Lavinia in over 20 years.

Alright.

J.D. Hogg is building that dang fool playpen of his

with the money from our senior center, and you know it, Jesse.

'Well, yeah, of course, I know that.'

But that's no reason to take the law into your own hands.

- Sometimes, you got to. - Sure, yeah.

'Now, Amos, you know if you keep blowing off that dynamite'

'somebody's gonna get hurt.'

Don't listen to Jesse, he's getting old.

Yeah.

Alright, I say we do it like we did it in the old days.

- Let's put her to a vote. - Fine with me.

Now, everybody who wants the raids to go on

till J.D. Hogg surrenders, vote "aye."

And all those who want to fight for the senior center

law-abiding and legal-like, vote "nay."

Aye.

Nay.

The ayes have it. We'll fight.

Uncle Jesse ain't with 'em. He's tryin' to stop 'em.

Alright, Raiders, let's move 'em out.

We'll hit Hogg where he limps.

Right. Charge!

Here we go. Charge.

Now, hey, wait..

Okay, nobody move.

Aye! It's them! I knew it!

'The Ridge Raiders! I knew it was them!'

You ol' Ridge Raiders.

And here I thought them arteries in you boys was so hard by now

none of you could push a rocking chair.

Alright, sheriff, arrest them.

Well, it looks like Jesse and the Ridge Raiders

have got themselves in more trouble

than a weasel caught in a henhouse.

And now, after 40 years, I'm finally gonna find out

who the rest of you masked cutthroats are.

J.D., can't we talk this...

Eh-eh! Talking time is over.

'It's jailin' time now.'

And unveiling time too.

Buster, take off their masks.

Look out below!

After 'em! After 'em!

Enos, Enos, use your gun.

But they're nice people, Mr. Hogg.

Ah, they're dynamiting vandals! After 'em!

And so the boys went to the state capital

to see their old school buddy, Coop the Snoop.

That boy liked to never live that name down.

- Hey, Coop. - Well, I'll be.. Luke!

Bo. How you doing, good buddies?

- You remember Uncle Jesse? - I sure do.

Listen, Coop. We've been seeing your name

on a lotta front page stuff lately.

There's one story that tore him up.. Oh, the election scandal.

Yes, yes.

Look, we think we got you a live one.

I mean, like, front page stuff. The whole nine yards.

Well, great.

But what is it?

You'll have to come to Hazzard to get your story, Coop.

But-but listen, it'd mean a lot to Luke and me.

You mean, that's all you're gonna tell me?

For now. Look, Coop, trust us.

'We need you, your reputation'

and your camera in Hazzard at 12 noon, Monday.

If you get your story, Luke and me

can help a whole lot of people.

Deal?

- You got yourself a deal. - Alright.

See you at the bus stop. We'll pick you up.

While Jesse and the boys were burnin' rubber back to Hazzard

Boss hired hisself some rent-a-cops

to protect his equipment.

'Detail, ten-hut!'

Well, you men sure look good.

Now, you know your orders.

You bring in Jesse Duke.

'And Bo and Luke Duke too..'

'...if you have to drag 'em in by the heels.'

You heard the man. Hoorah!

How's that?

You got men out there movin' out

and they don't know where they're movin' out to.

Uh, right. Where they goin'?

Uh, nowhere if you don't tell 'em.

Mmm... mm!

You're quick.

Never gonna get that right.

You want I should put a door there too?

I'll just..

Tell you, I got it straight from the dispatcher.

He's an old possum-hunting buddy of mine.

A whole truckload of recreation equipment's coming down

from Capitol City this afternoon

being delivered to Boss Hogg.

That's all the stuff that should be goin' to the Senior Center.

Well, I vote we grab it.

- Yeah. Grab it. - 'No, no, no.'

That's-that's, they-they, they'll be looking for us now.

Yeah. Up, up, up and away.

Now, if Boss knew the Ridge Raiders were ridin' again

he'd throw a fit.

Meanwhile, he was busy being an entrepreneur.

'Daisy Terwilliger.'

Sue Anne Pettigrew.

'Judy Jeremiah.'

Oh, my. I feel like a little child..

Let loose in the candy store.

Everything looks so good.

Uh, Cathy Kenny.

Boss, I got your new secur..

Secur.. Ahem..

I got the, ho ho ha..

I got that new security guard ridin' shotgun

on that truckload of playpen stuff from Capitol City.

Yeah, beautiful, beautiful.

And so if the Dukes or the Raiders was to hijack it

then, uh, boom, we got 'em.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Augusta Barnes Huh? Oh, mind your business.

What are you, a sheriff or a peeping Tom?

Now get your eyes back in your head and get yourself

out on the highway and take charge.

Kate Ludon.

Now scram!

Go!

Boss, I'll go check on the other girls, see how they're doing.

So you wanna take this list over?

Alright. Uh, Who's next?

Uh, miss, uh..

You, yeah. Number 11.

Bo, Luke, it's Daisy, come in.

You're comin' through loud and clear, Daisy. What's up?

Listen, there's a truck comin' in on Capitol City highway

loaded with playpen equipment.

The sheriff's laying a trap. I thought I'd warn y'all.

Thanks for the tip, baby. Over and out.

Uncle Jesse, you think your old buddies are gonna try something?

I wouldn't put it past those old coots.

Well, we best be ready just in case they do.

They might be hard to locate.

I'll tell you what. We better split up, uh.

Uh, drop me here where I stashed my truck.

- Yes, sir. - Got it.

One of these days, I'm gonna take these dang doors off.

I'll check out Newtie and Amos.

You check out Henstep.

- Yes, sir. - 'You got it.'

What a time for a dang flat.

Well, it ain't the first one. Let's get at it.

I'm takin' over. Fall in behind me.

No way. Mr. Hogg said not to let that truck out of our sight.

Look, I'm the sheriff. Now, I'm giving you a direct order.

Let me pass.

Nothing doing.

We got our orders too.

Uh, easy. Easy.

Here. Get out of the road. What happened?

My truck. Somebody stole my truck.

Oh, no.

Alright, hands up and freeze.

Uh, me or him?

You, Jesse.

I don't know about y'all, but if I'd a had a day

like ol' Jesse's had, I'd get back in bed.

'Alright, I'm warning you, Jesse.'

'You better start talking.'

Now, where's all my equipment at?

Your..

And who else is in your gang of Ridge Raiders? Hmm?

- Fess up. - Fess up? Me fess up?

You're the one that ought to be fessin' up.

You know that you're using that old folk's money

'to build that playpen of yours.'

Still singing that song, huh?

'Well, that does it, you ol' varmint.'

'I was trying to show you some Christian charity'

but now, I've had it.

I'm shippin' you off to the county jail for immediate trial.

Boss, please. I-I know Uncle Jesse

didn't mean to make you mad.

'And I know he didn't steal your truck. I know it'

And as for you, once a Duke always a Duke.

Turn in your piggy tail.

You're through.

Ooh, I'd like to grab that marshmallow and...

Uncle Jesse, don't get yourself upset.

Wait. I'm gonna see what I can do.

Bo, Luke, come in quick, please?

When Daisy told 'em what had happened to their Uncle Jesse

Luke and Bo figured they needed a heap of help.

So they made a few phone calls to their neighbors.

Grandpa!

Jesse was right, and we should've listened to him.

We got him into jail, and we're gonna get him out.

- Yeah. Out! - Well, it ain't gonna be easy.

You can bet a jug of your finest shine it'll be dangerous.

So what? We're The Ridge Raiders, ain't we?

'And we ain't letting Jesse go to no county jail.'

Say, Newtie.

You think you can get your old smoke machine going?

- I sure can. - What's that?

Oh, it's a dingbuster. I'll show you

but we have to take Amos' car.

Trust us.

Alright, we'll trust you. I guess that means

we're gonna have to let the General sit this one out, huh?

That still leaves a getaway.

Amos, you reckon you can get that old fire engine runnin'?

Better shape than I am.

Alright, then.

If that smoke thingamabob's what I think it is

we got ourselves a plan.

Now, gather around here.

Alright, now here's Hazzard.

I'm sorry, Uncle Jesse.

Enjoying the ride, my little pork chop?

All this and Jesse Duke on the way to jail.

What more can a man ask for?

I'll tell you what. With everybody bunched together

and The Ridge Raiders fixing to converge

something big is about to happen.

What'd I say?

Newtie, this crate really rolls.

Alright now, Newtie.

Alright, hit it.

Come on out of there, Uncle Jesse.

Bo, this isn't the proper way to be doing this.

I don't mean no disrespect, but these guys

are trying to railroad you into the county jail.

- Are they alright? - Yeah, they're fine.

Hit it, Luke.

Buster! Enos! We could nab the whole gang.

After 'em! Get 'em!

Bring back the bacon for Hogg's little piggies.

'Yes, sir, Mr. Hogg. I'm coming.'

You never should've done this. It's too risky.

Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.

We got you into trouble, we'll get you out.

Well, seems to me I'm in more trouble now than I was.

You ain't. Not if Coop the Snoop keeps up his end of the bargain.

That reminds me. We got exactly..

29 minutes to meet him at that bus station, Luke.

No problem. First, it looks like we're gonna have to lose them.

- Hang on, everybody. - Let her rip. Hot wheels. Ha!

Dang it! They're catching up.

Uh, listen, Newtie, hit that machine of yours one more time.

'Uh, I'm afraid we're all smoked out, fellas.'

Well, let's take off cross-country.

No, sir. Right here's where we wanna be.

'Good ol' Amos.'

Okay, let her go!

Good ol' Amos. Ha ha.

It's sure handy to have an ex-fire chief around, ain't it?

The Ridge Raiders is quite an organization.

Luke, we've got 16 minutes left. You better step on it.

How's that newspaperman gonna help you now?

Now, me and Bo got it all figured out.

The way it works, you fellas oughta be able to drive

that hijacked equipment truck right up to Boss Hogg's office.

But we'll all be arrested!

Oh, no, we won't, Newtie. Not if the plan works.

'Sides, it's legal and law-abiding.

- Well, I don't know... - Hey, Newt. I trust my boys.

Dang it. So do we.

Then let's get crackin'. Ha ha. Yahoo.

Buster, you sure ain't gettin' the hang

of the crook-chasing business.

And you so-called professionals.

Letting two young scallywags

and a passel of decrepit, old derelicts outsmart you.

- Don't worry. We'll catch 'em. - Yes, as soon as we find 'em.

You couldn't find your nose

if it wasn't tacked onto your face.

Now, let's all get back to my office in town and regroup.

- Now, get going! - Yes, sir.

I'm gonna put that gang of senile, old thugs away for life.

Although, at their age, that ain't long enough.

Ain't that slick timing?

Now, General Lee is really gonna get a run

'cause Jesse and his pals is just about arrivin'

at the City Hall.

Alright! Now, you all listen good!

I am taking full charge right now of this whole operation.

First off, we're gonna make a farm-to-farm search.

I mean, it just ain't possible

to hide a big truck like that one.

- 'And then..' - 'Mr. Hogg!'

We don't have to search no place.

Well, then, how am I gonna get my truck back, dim brain?

Some nice, obliging hijacker gonna drive it

right up to my front door?

Yes, sir, that's-that's what they've done.

- Huh! - Look here.

'What?'

That's it! That's the truck!

'Hey! Hey! Hey!'

You're all under arrest. Do you hear me?

Now, get your hands up high.

If y'all ain't too decrepit to do so.

Buster, keep 'em covered.

If anybody moves, shoot 'em in the toe.

Put your hands down. You can't prove a thing, J.D.

I've finally caught you and your gang

of over-the-hill hoodlums red-handed with the goodies.

My goodies!

Alright, go on, go on. Check and see if everything's there.

- 'Hey, Mr. Newtie.' - We're wise to you, J.D.

- Yeah, wise to you. - Yeah, wise to you.

Yeah, wise to you.

Hm. And I was wise too, but you can't prove nothing.

Mr. Hogg!

Mr. Hogg, this truck's plum full.

That there's the movie projection, gym equipment.

- Back there's a hot tub... - Alright, good, good.

Sheriff Moon, do your duty. Arrest them.

Here they come. Ha-ha.

He-he, that's the Duke boys. Alright, grab 'em, Buster.

This gives us the whole caboodle.

Hello, Boss. Remember me? Charlie Cooper.

Oh, Cooper's News. Uh, what are you doing here?

You ain't been listening to these lying Duke boys, have ya?

Hey, did you take my picture? What're you doing?

Cooper's doing a story on people who defraud senior citizens.

'It sure front page stuff, ain't it, Coop?'

- 'You got it.' - Yeah?

Tell me, Mr. Hogg, as political boss of Hazzard

would you have information on any such frauds in this area?

You know, like misappropriating funds for senior citizens

and converting them to personal use, or little things like that.

Sir, I want to state here now

that there's absolutely no deceitfulness or crookedness

'here in Hazzard County.'

That, there's what I told you, Coop!

As a matter of fact, I hear the Boss is planning

'to donate a whole mess of recreation equipment'

'to the local senior citizen's center he's planning to build.'

Oh, Boss, you're not gonna let them Duke boys blackmail you...

Say, Boss, this couldn't be a whole truck-load of stuff

for the senior citizen center, could it?

By golly, Bo, I think we lucked out.

I think we happened right on to Boss' presentation of the items

to this group of outstanding senior citizens here.

- Yeah, but I.. - Ain't that right, Boss?

Yeah. As a matter of fact, that's just I was going to do.

Shoot! There goes the Pretty Piggies.

You see, Boss, there's just one thing

that's puzzling Mr. Cooper here.

It is? Oh, I mean, it is.

Why don't you tell him what's been puzzling me?

What's been puzzling Mr. Cooper is

why your sheriff and his men have their guns drawn?

- Right, Coop? - Right. Right.

Oh, yeah. Well..

Uh, ah, uh..

I'll bet, it's to honor these fine senior citizens

with a 21-gun salute, ain't it?

Sure enough.

That's exactly what they was just about to do.

Yeah.

When Boss Hogg does something for Hazzard County..

He does it big.

You know, I was getting worried you weren't gonna get here.

Close call there.

Make sure you got my name spelled right.

Hogg, with two G's now.

- Moon with two O's. - Alright.

And if you want to take another picture, here, check this out.

And so, that's how Bo and Luke got the town of Hazzard

a senior citizen center in a law-abiding manner.

Well, it was close, for the Dukes.

The ground-breaking ceremonies almost broke Boss Hogg's heart.

With his playpen ploughed under

a lot of the Pretty Piggies became volunteers

for the old folks.

All of which proves, you're never too old

and you're never too young

when it comes to having fun in Hazzard County.