Original subtitles

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

Yee-haw!

Welcome again to Hazzard County.

Hazzard is a pleasant little spot

where several southern states come together.

That's all I'm allowed to tell you

'cause everybody would wanna go there.

But its location is how come a very unusual character

showed up, named Jude Emery.

Uh, that ain't Jude. That's, uh, Deputy Enos.

And, of course, neither one of them's Jude.

They're the Duke boys.

And that ain't Jude. That's Sheriff Grady Byrd.

But, hang on, ol' Jude will be along briefly.

You got it. That's Jude.

'You better step on it, Bo. Them sirens creepin' up on us.'

'Listen, if we can get this'

under a minute and a half, we'll make a new record.

Here you go, take this.

Alright.

- Howdy. - Howdy.

You lose a horse or find a saddle?

Neither. My pickup truck broke down.

I didn't wanna leave the saddle in the back..

- You want a lift? - Yeah, I'd be much obliged.

- Give me that. - Uh, hey.

Let's go.

- In the window. - Alright.

Sounds just like Merle Haggard, don't he?

Alright, hit it, cuz.

- Thank you for the lift. - Don't mention it.

Looks like you had to stop in mid-chase to do it.

Yeah, just bein' chased by the county sheriff

ain't no reason not to be neighborly.

You wanna tell me what you did, so I can start worryin'?

- Nope. - Uh-huh.

Hey, hey, there's Roslyn Road up ahead.

Let's confuse 'em.

Well, at least, we cut 'em down to half.

You-you can let me out anywhere along in here.

It'd be fine.

Stranger, this might ruin your whole day.

You ain't the only people who know this county.

I used to do my courtin' right here.

- Here? - Yeah, get everybody out.

- Hey, Luke. - Hey, Enos.

'Hands on top of the car. You too, boy.'

- 'What-what's your name?' - Jude Emery.

- Sheriff, he's got a bulge. - A bulge?

Okay, put them hands up.

- I-I'm just a... - Now, you hush.

- Spread 'em. - You-you're in trouble.

- I just... - Hush.

Now, you in trouble with me and Hazzard County.

- That's what you are. - I told you he had a bulge.

Ah-ha! Now, you got a permit for that, boy?

- As a matter of fact... - Hush!

As for you, Duke boys, consortin' with this

scroungy-lookin' dude...

- Yeah, just ho... - With a gun and a guitar.

Well, everybody is goin' to jail.

Jude, welcome to Hazzard County.

And this here weirdo vagrant was packin' a .38 special.

- But I got a... - Ah, hush up. And a guitar.

- Is that a crime? - Depends on how you play it.

And that ain't all.

Luke Duke was armed with a Barlow pocket knife.

Grady, that there knife couldn't cut cold grits.

Well, that don't matter. That is still a lethal weapon.

Ha ha. I got 'em, Boss. Oh, I got 'em.

Sheriff, he's got another bulge here.

Excuse me.

Oh, well, I betcha this ain't filled with no rabbit tobacco.

'I bet you it's filled with a... badge.'

A badge?

See, I told you he had another bulge.

"Sergeant Jude Emery.

Texas Ranger."

Congratulations, sheriff. You just arrested the fuzz.

Grady..

Enos!

Why-why didn't you tell me about that bulge first?

Oh, a Texas Ranger.

Uh, wh-why didn't you say somethin'?

I tried to, hoss. But you kept yellin' "hush".

What are you doin' comin' through these parts, Mr. Ranger?

Just call me Jude.

I'll show ya.

'Sure beats packin' a suitcase, don't it?'

There you are.

"Wanted Russel "Snake" Harmon

for hijacking and running contraband."

Yep, I've tracked him from Texas to Hazzard.

Russel "Snake" Harmon. W-well, who's that?

- Never heard of him. - He's here alright.

See, back in Texas

ol' Snake had a group called the Road Gang.

A bunch of leadfoots who would drive anything

anywhere for the right price.

Oh, that Snake Harmon.

Yeah, we busted the gang, but ol' Snake slipped away.

- And you think he came here? - Yeah, I'm sure of it.

The word is that Snake has come south

so he could recruit a new road gang

using moonshine runners and outlaw race drivers.

Well, we ain't heard nothin'.

- Oh. - Nice try though.

He picked Hazzard 'cause it was centrally located.

We even know where he's holed up.

While those extradition papers are bein' processed

I'm gonna go pick him up.

- Well, where is he? - 'Place called Uchee Swamp.'

Well, Mr. Emery, sayin' a place called Uchee swamp

is like sayin' somewhere in the Amazon jungle.

- That big? - That bad.

There are a lotta dirt roads there that don't lead nowheres.

Stranger goin' in there tryin' to find anything

he's bound to get lost.

Especially with all that quicksand.

The Duke family used to roll lotta moonshine through there.

Seems to me we never got caught in the Uchee Swamp.

Sounds like you boys know the layout pretty good.

Yes, sir, we do.

How'd you like to be my guides while I try to find ol' Snake?

That's if I can talk the sheriff here into lettin' you go.

Let 'em go?

So I don't press charges against him for false arrest.

Let 'em go!

Mr. Emery, uh, Jude

you got yourself a couple of guides.

Partner.

Mr. Ranger, I guess you'll be needin' some help on this case.

I've always admired to be a Texas Ranger, Mr. Jude

'but we ain't got any here in Hazzard.'

Of course, we ain't got any here in Hazzard, Enos.

This ain't Texas.

Uh, now, boys, you realize it's kinda hard to become a ranger.

I mean, there ain't but 94 rangers in all...

- For all of Texas? - In all of the 50 states.

See, we go anywhere, we got a warrant.

I-I-I'd sure like to apologize for arresting you.

- But when I found that gun... - Oh, forget it.

This ol' gun don't work anyway.

I only carry it 'cause the rules say I have to.

See, the way I figure it... is if the gun don't work

I have to come up with somethin' where people don't get hurt.

Especially me. Keeps me on my toes.

You know, Mr. Emery

you ain't exactly how I picture a Texas Ranger.

'Yeah, a lotta folks say that.'

But just 'cause I cut it a little differently

don't mean I can't cut it.

'If you'll get started on those extradition papers'

me and the boys here are gonna go Snake huntin'.

Oh, uh, sheriff..

Better make some extra room in that jail of yours.

There's about half a dozen of 'em in the gang.

'Well, how are you gonna get the whole gang?'

One gang, one ranger.

Y'all take care.

He's somethin' else, ain't he?

'Yeah, that's him. Jude Emery. Just like I figured.'

He sure don't look like much, Snake.

Yeah, but he sticks like molasses.

That boy's been doggin' me for two years.

Every time I settle somewhere, I put a watch on the courthouse

'cause I know he's gotta get them extradition papers.

- Who's that with him? - The Duke boys.

I've raced against them on dirt.

- Strictly amateur hot dogs. - Right.

Sounds like they beat you.

They're local Hazzard boys?

Yeah. Ex-moonshine drivers.

What you reckon Jude's doing with them?

He's probably using them to scout the area, looking for me.

Ol' Jude is strange, but he ain't dumb.

What you say we recruit them Hazzard boys?

Snake, them boys ain't nothin' but trouble.

We're looking for hot drivers.

What if they're working with Jude?

It'd be the perfect way to keep track of him.

We let them think they joined the gang

and if things get tough, we hold them as the insurance

againstJude playing policeman.

Now he's here, I feel a lot safer in the swamp. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

I know he usually works alone

but he might pull the local sheriff in on this one.

- What's he like? - Don't worry.

Wait till you meet that guy.

Grady, if a man don't grow, he dies.

Oh, now, Boss, them's another one of your hard sayings.

Yes, sir. Grow or die, Grady.

Well, I got growin' pains, I can tell you.

On account I got dreams.

Dreams of gettin' bigger..

Growin' richer..

Givin' more orders.

And... by controllin' Snake's Road Gang

and runnin' that contraband, that could be a giant step.

Oh, it's the American dream, Boss.

Yeah, that's it. American dream.

Oh, but, uh, Boss, uh..

That Snake's as good as got.

I mean, I-I'm gonna go into that Uchee Swamp myself

and track him down for you.

Grady, you couldn't catch a catfish in a coffee cup.

The only way you're gonna catch Snake

is by followin' them Duke boys and that guitar-pickin' ranger

and grab Snake before he does.

- Get me? - Got ya.

Oh, that'll burn 'em up, Boss, yeah.

You know, in all my years of runnin' shine

I never was..

Chased by a Texas Ranger.

And had I ever been caught, I'd have been proud.

Here, have a hot one. If it'd been a Texas Ranger.

Me, too.

Say, Jude, how do you figure ol' Snake knows his way around

the Uchee Swamp anyhow?

With all the recruitin' he's been doin' locally

probably somebody in the gang knows about it.

Well, now, when you come across him

ain't that gang of his gonna give you a lotta trouble?

Once I get the drop on Snake, they'll probably stay cool.

They haven't done anything. Snake's the one I'm after.

That sounds like a simple enough plan.

Yeah, it's about the only kind I ever come up with.

I'm just kinda edgy including you boys.

You ain't never caught him by yourself in two years

and now, you got-got Luke and me to help.

Yeah, and if you, me and Bo can't handle it, we got help.

Who? The sheriff?

The sheriff?

No. Us Dukes.

The family.

Well, I do appreciate that.

And I'm gonna need your help.

- But not Daisy. - Why not?

Well, Snake Harmon ain't exactly John Dillinger.

But he is dangerous.

Now, back in Texas we might work a woman to death

'but we don't expose 'em to danger.'

I see. Why do you call him Snake?

Oh, come on, son.

What's the matter?

Huh?

Well, I know what the matter is.

I asked you not to feed Elmer.

And you fed him.

I said you can feed Cleo. I asked you not to feed Elmer.

I'm sorry, Snake, but sometimes I can't tell 'em apart.

Elmer's the boy.

It ain't that easy, Snake.

If you ain't the dumbest!

I wanted him hungry.

'Gets lazy when he eats.'

Hey, Elmer.

That's my boy.

Come on.

I got a job for you to do.

Well, now we know why they call him Snake.

Friends, this is gonna be a zinger.

Cowboy.

I don't see how in the heck you made it all the way here

from Texas in that thing.

I had the wind behind me.

She got a lotta miles on her, ain't she?

Oh, yeah. She's old Korean War surplus.

But she has got more character than any horse I ever rode.

Say, Jude, if you got this here truck

then why do you carry that saddle around with you?

If you were drivin' in this, wouldn't you want backup?

I reckon we could use a backup system to help find ol' Snake.

We could drive around lookin' for him in that swamp

till you're ready to retire.

But me and Bo think it'd be better to let Snake find us.

Now, why would he wanna do that?

He said he's lookin' for moonshine runners

and race car drivers, didn't he?

'Now, how would he react if word got out'

the Dukes boys is comin' out of retirement.

I don't know how he'd react, but y'all, Uncle Jesse will

skin you alive if you get the Fedses on your tail again.

Well, lookie here, Patch.

If it ain't the chicken Dukes. You heard of them, ain't ya?

- No. - 'No?'

They got scared out of drivin' whiskey.

'Now they mostly hang around racetracks'

hopin' to be mistook for real drivers.

Well, Willie. Say, when'd you get out of jail, son?

He had to go to jail, Bo.

It's the only way he'd get to see his mama.

Ha ha. How come y'all ain't home choppin' cotton?

Last time you drove on a racetrack

you nearly got a ticket for illegal parking.

Oh, n-now, Willie, now wasn't that the time

you got in front of me, and I had to kinda push you off

and you went into the pits?

I'd like to see you try that with him.

'Meet Patch Lauren.'

'He's been barred from every track in the country.'

Hey, I heard of you.

I didn't know they piled dirty drivin' that high.

You ain't heard nothin' like it is.

I'm looking for some drivin' talent for an ol' boy

who's tryin' to put somethin' together.

You two ain't much, but... you interested?

- Okay, what you got, Willie? - 'I got nothin'.'

Unless you can really cut it.

'Ya'll wanna talk about it some more'

'meet me at the old coffin factory'

early tomorrow mornin'.

Take you that long to find it.

Catch you in church.

Bye.

Can you believe it?

We're sittin' here talkin' about it

and it slides right into our laps.

With that kinda luck, you boys oughta be gamblers.

- Or lawmen. - Heck, nah.

We're just lucky enough just being Dukes.

You got that right.

They went for it.

- Hey, Cooter. - Gracias.

- Here you are, cousin. - Thank you.

Aah! Hey, ya'll, the Duke of Hazzard's here.

- Here you go. - Thank you, cousin.

- Emery. - Oh, thank you, honey.

Boys, I don't see why I have to ride in a car anyway?

If we was back in Texas, I'd follow...

Now, look, you ain't back in Texas, you're in Hazzard.

Now, you get yourself lost in that Uchee Swamp

you ain't gonna be able to find your butt with both hands.

See, what Luke and me figure we'll do

is we'll start a fight.

'We're real good at startin' fights.'

You got that right.

Anyways, we oughta be able to get their attention

so you can slip out of the car, and nab ol' Snake.

You don't wanna get caught in the back of this thing.

Okay, you boys get me to Snake anyway you can.

Hey, Cooter.

- Make room for my guitar. - Guitar.

Guitar.

Climb on back in here, and I'll cut out some more space.

Guitar.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, now, them Dukes is up to no good

just as sure as a hog loves turnips.

Huh?

But don't worry, Boss.

I'm bringin' Snake in.

Just as soon as I get me a car.

Where's your sheriff's car?

Well, Cooter's fixin' it.

Well, then use your personal car, stonehead.

Well, I..

Huh? What's that?

'I ain't got one.'

Well, how do you get to work?

Well, I-I thumb. I hitchhike every place.

Grady, you can't follow them Duke boys hitchhiking.

Oh, you're right. Now, they might spot me.

Of course, it would be real slick if they gave me a ride.

- You'd still lose 'em. - I could borrow your car.

Oh, sure. White hood, horns and all, huh?

Well, I'll use my mama's car.

Your mama's car?

'Course if I get one little dent in it

'oh, she'll be chewing my tail till Gabriel's trumpet.'

Grady, you've got no idea what a comfort it is

just knowing you're sheriff around here.

Now, that night, while the boys and Cooter

was working on puttin' their plan together

Daisy and Jude... Uh, well, you'll see.

♪ The purest eyes ♪

♪ And the fairest hands ♪

♪ I love the ground whereon she stands ♪

♪ Black, black, black ♪

♪ Is the color ♪

♪ Of my true love's hair ♪♪

You sure sing pretty for a cowboy, Jude.

Guitar sounds a whole lot better without the socks in it.

- You want some more peach pie. - Mm-hmm. No thanks.

Oh!

You know, lady, your cookin' is downright scary.

Is that good or bad?

When a beautiful woman can also cook, that's good.

And that's bad.

I still wanna go with you tomorrow.

No.

I don't wanna be distracted worryin' about you.

Worried about me?

Worried about me?

I can probably outdrive and outshoot you.

That's probably true.

I'm a bad driver, my gun don't work

and you still ain't goin'.

Anybody who'd bet on that

would bet against the next sunrise.

Night.

And a little after sunrise, things were really hummin'

down at the Hazzard garage.

- All set back there, Jude? - Let her rip.

If y'all figured Daisy's gussied up just for Jude..

You're wrong.

'Cooter, it works.'

'Course it works. Works better than I thought it would.

Don't think we're gonna have any trouble followin' them at all.

- I've got somethin' for you. - Well, let's go, honey.

Never bet against Daisy when she makes her mind up.

Ol' Jude didn't know that Daisy was in on the party.

I promise you I'm gonna take good care of it.

- You just do me one favor. - Yeah?

You keep this thing between the ditches.

You got it, honey.

Whoo!

Mother dog!

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

when first we practice to deceive.

Man, that's obtuse.

Yeah, I figured ol' Grady was about due.

And ain't mama's car somethin'?

Now, I want ya'll to watch some slick shucking.

Now you see Luke..

And now, you don't.

Luke, I told you Willie would be lookin' the wrong way again.

No wonder he can't handle it when a car's on his tail.

Ain't them boys slick?

I'd invite you to have a beer..

But it would lower my social standin'.

You'd have to go all the way to hell to do that.

Well, I ain't proud. I'll drink with anybody.

Say, where's your boss?

You won't meet him unless you pass the test.

- Where's Patch? - He's the test.

Patch is somewhere on South 104 waitin' for you.

I sure wouldn't keep him waitin' long.

It might make him ornerier than he is.

Thanks, anyway. Catch you later.

That depends on Patch.

Now, the boys and Jude didn't anymore than get out

of Willie's sight, when they were immediately followed by..

Willie, who wanted to watch the Dukes against Patch.

And all of 'em were followed by..

The intrepid Grady in his mama's car

who was followed by... Daisy.

Ya'll followin' this?

Daisy didn't know that the car

that she was followin' was Grady's.

She thought he was one of the gang.

And I'll just be dogged if another car

didn't start tailin' Bo and Luke.

Guess who.

Yeah, that's the man.

Shoot, so far, I don't see nothin' of Patch's test.

Seems like a little kiddie game to me.

You alright back there, Jude?

- What's goin' on? - Oh, it ain't nothin'.

Just Patch playin'-playin' a little bumper tag is all.

Great.

Ol' Grady was havin' so much fun watching the game

that he didn't even notice Daisy was on his tail.

Since Daisy didn't know it was Grady in front of her

she thought the odds were three to one

against Bo and Luke.

You reckon the General's back bumper's gonna stay on?

I don't know.

Sounds like we picked up a new ra... rattle.

Now, Bo, don't move. Just listen to me.

Look down by the brake pedal.

Now, don't move.

I won't move, but I'm fixin' to make a new door here.

There's the test.

He keeps bumpin' and jarrin' us like that

it's bound to rile that snake, and he's gonna strike.

Now, how'd you like to be in a car

with a rattlesnake and all the doors welded shut?

Well, what're we gonna do?

What's goin' on?

We've got a rattlesnake up here in the front.

Don't let it back here, there ain't room.

Luke, you-you-you're thinkin', ain't you?

Oh, yeah.

They like mice.

- Do you have one on you? - Uh..

There ain't room for a mouse either.

Well, think faster.

- I got it. - Just don't move.

- Be careful. - Don't move, cousin.

J-just keep her steady now. Don't let Patch hit us no more.

- I won't. - Okay.

Stay real steady, cousin, I don't wanna lose you now.

- Easy. - I got it.

Oh!

Cover his head, Luke.

Alright, hit the brake.

Everything's okay, Jude.

No, it ain't, 'cause down the road

Daisy had decided to even the odds

by takin' out one of the enemy.

Not knowing it was poor ol' Grady

who wasn't about to hurt his mama's car.

Ol' Willie didn't know who they were

but they sure wasn't on his side.

Grady Byrd, I didn't know it was you.

Oh, now, look at the scratch you put on my mama's car.

Oh, Daisy, don't you recognize a-a disguise when you see one?

I'm sorry, Grady Byrd.

Hey, Patch, how did we do?

Sonny boy, I'll stomp you into mush!

Patch! Patch!

Patch, where's Elmer?

- Who? - Elmer, the rattlesnake.

- He threw him at me. - You lost Elmer?

You let him lose Elmer?

Oh, I never cared much for Elmer.

He's always slithering around, he ain't got much to say.

Got them beady little eyes, ain't even a pretty color.

Snake Harmon's gonna kill us.

Let's get outta here. Couple of cars were followin' us.

- Who was it? - Beats me.

Jude Emery must've been drivin' one of 'em

'cause they run each other off the road.

- Let's go. - You mean we passed?

Oh, yeah. You passed alright.

- Alright! - Hot dog!

Grady Byrd..

If you don't get Snake Harmon before that ranger does..

I'm gonna have your ugly hide nailed to my den wall

and your miserable bones ground into fertilizer

for my tomatoes.

That ain't nothin' compared to what my mama's gonna do

when she finds that scratch on the car.

All because I was so certain that between you

and that ranger, I'd control Snake Harmon's gang

I went and contacted the syndicate.

And now..

I've got a contract to move contraband, and no Snake Harmon.

And you, you couldn't catch him

if you was both wearin' the same pair of pants.

I remember once I got one little bitty dent on her car

she wouldn't let me out of the house for a week.

- Grady! - Aah-ah-ah!

My head is on the line to that syndicate.

Excuse me, sheriff.

These here fugitives posters just came in.

Oh, Enos, go paper the men's room with them.

Can't you see Boss is busy chewin' me out?

Grady Byrd, the chances of you finding that Snake Harmon

by yourself rank right up there

with Daisy Duke being made the next Pope.

That's funny, Mr. Hogg, 'cause Daisy's a Methodist.

Sheriff, the light bulb is burned out in the men's room.

It's gonna be awful hard to read the posters in there.

Oh, Enos, I'll hang 'em up myself. I just..

- Oh, my goodness! - What's the matter?

"Wanted Russel Snake Harmon."

'He's the one that ranger's after.'

AndCoy Randolph andPatch Lauren.

"For armed robbery, felonious assault

"suspected homicide.

"Believed to be part of the Snake Harmon gang."

Enos, you know what this means?

Yes, it means 'em boys are flat in trouble.

Oh, Enos, it means that Jude, and Luke, and Bo

are not dealin' with a bunch of good ol' ridge runners.

I mean, these are real dangerous felons.

Grady Byrd, you've got about as much gall

as a tub full of pig spleens.

Finish tightening that up. Get out of the way, Burgette!

You sell your soul to swill at Boss Hogg's table...

Swallow your stubbornness and you listen to me.

You think Bo and Luke have gone off to help

capture some Texas leadfoot?

Look. "Patch Lauren," "Coy Randolph."

"Wanted for armed robbery and suspected homicide.

Believed to be part of the Snake Harmon gang."

Now, these just ain't good ol' boys out to have some fun.

Bo, and Luke, and Jude

well, they don't know what they're gettin' into.

They look like a lot of fun.

Don't they though?

How many are there?

I don't know, I can't count that high.

We gotta come up with somethin' to throw 'em off-guard.

'We could start a fight.'

'Right, they'd never expect that.'

I'm Snake Harmon.

- Hey. - Howdy.

You must be the Hazzard hot dogs.

Oh, you-you heard of us, huh?

Hmm.

Get out, plough-boy.

- I'm too young to die. - Yes, sir.

I hear you boys had a little trouble with Patch here.

Patch?

No, Patch weren't no trouble at all.

If you're gonna test us, find somebody who can cut it.

'Listen, Snake. We'd like to stay and fight with your boys

but from the looks of 'em, I don't think they can handle us.

Leastwise, not this overgrown has-been cretin.

Russel Snake Harmon..

I arrest you in violation of the Texas criminal code...

Hey, Jude.

I figured you were around here somewhere.

They don't fight, huh.

'Get off of me!'

I said, I arrest you in violation of...

Listen, are those your boys?

- Yeah. - That one's a little slow.

Needs to work on his left hook, don't he?

Yeah, he sure do.

I better break this up.

Alright, boys. Alright, break it up.

Hey, Bo, Bo.

Bo! Bo! Bo!

Bo, Bo, break it up.

'Here, stop it! Stop!'

'Alright, break it up, boys.'

'Hey, stop it, right there.'

Bo, right there. Stay right there.

Bo! Bo! Alright now, break it up.

I said, break it up!

- Get over there, Luke. - 'We had 'em.'

Yeah, you, you done real good.

Alright, now, you boys just stay cool.

Ya'll boys ain't broken no laws.

'Snake here's the one I'm after.'

'Ya'll stay cool, and stay outta trouble.'

Oh, come on now, Jude.

You ain't really gonna arrest me, are ya?

I didn't track you all the way from Texas

for your dazzling conversation.

You ain't arrestin' nobody, cowboy.

Drop it.

Okay, hoss.

But you're makin' a big mistake.

'No, it's your mistake, Jude.'

Why, that there's Coy Randolph.

'You remember? You sent him to prison.'

Is that you, Coy?

Hey, Jude.

I didn't recognize you under all them whiskers.

I swore when you sent me up, I wasn't gonna shave

'till I got ya.'

Looks like I'm fixin' to shave.

Don't shave 'em off for me, Coy.

It gives you character. Covers up all that ugly.

Oh, shucks, Jude.

We've been onto you since you hit Hazzard.

Boys.

Tie up Jude so he can stay out of trouble.

- This one's mine. - Wait a minute, Patch.

- I want nobody in the way. - Wait, wait, wait, Patch.

Patch, I got a better idea.

You think you can take this boy in arm wrestling?

- Texas Style? - What's that?

You ain't gonna like it, hoss.

'Time up.'

In case you think those are just little ol' cactus spines

plough boy..

'...let me educate you.'

'Those are called blood brothers.'

'The red you see dripping..'

'...that's pure poison.'

'Once they make a puncture, they just never heal.'

Goin' through life with an armful of those

it'd just be a livin' hell.

Give them some air.

- Ya'll ready? - Yup.

Ya'll set? Go.

Come on, Luke. Come on.

Turn it on, Patch.

Luke. Uh..

Bo.

Luke!

Don't go to the bar now, Pa.

There ain't no tellin' how this will come out.

What's goin' on?

Just be ready for a little Duke shuckin' and jivin'.

I hear, ya'll are lookin' for hot drivers.

Well, you can stop lookin'.

You wanna let me know what's happenin'?

Just stay loose, Jude.

Well, thanks. That clears it right up.

I'll tell you one thing right now, Snake.

I ain't drivin' with no woman.

'Well, you ain't tellin' nobody nothin'.'

I'm runnin' this rig.

We don't know nothin' about her.

- What if she's with Jude? - So what if she is?

'I got plenty more snakes.'

Test her.

Make her drive against Patch.

Shoot, that ain't no test! Have her arm wrestle him.

'Knock that off!'

- Cut him loose. - Yes, sir.

Thanks, cousin.

Plough-boy..

You've been doin' all the talkin'

while your buddy here does all the drivin'.

Now, it's us. Ain't nobody drivin' against nobody

'til me and him settle this.

Yeah? What you got in mind, Patch?

Head-on chicken. Down on the bridge, no turns.

Chicken?

Snake, you shoulda never kidnapped

that big overgrown kid out of the sixth grade.

Too tough for ya?

Too tough? It's too stupid.

Look, now, if you got any drivin' skill at all

we're gonna match jumpin' cars across that creek belly.

- At night? - Well, at first light then.

Crack of dawn.

I finally got it figured out. Y'all are all crazy.

'Well, how about it, Patch?'

- You can even use Annie's car. - My car?

My car.

Okay, plough-boy. You're on.

Hey. Hey, Luke, I got an idea.

Since this is between you both

why don't we make it a little interesting?

You mean a side bet or somethin'?

I know. Like we let you two go

if Luke makes it and Patch don't.

'Not exactly.'

You see, what I had in mind was for fun

that you and me ride shotgun with 'em.

'What's the matter, Snake? Don't you trust Patch?'

'Well, I trust Luke.'

Uh, well..

- It's a deal then, right? - Yeah.

So first light, engines were cranked for the big jump.

Come on, Patch, show that plough-boy. Come on!

Easy, son.

One move, and I'm gonna string you up like a hawk.

Now, y'all pay a real close attention

'cause we're about to play musical chairs.

Now, sonny, when I say jump, you git.

Otherwise you're gonna be known all over Hazzard County

as the fella who lost his head in the race.

Now!

Follow me!

Well, I'll just be dogged if Jesse and Cooter

wasn't hidden in Daisy's car the same way

they hid ol' Jude in General Lee.

Now, I didn't figure on that.

Hey! Get 'em!

Darlin', if you're always this full of surprises

your social life must be somethin' else.

How'd you do that?

Honey, I've been free for about 30 minutes.

I just wasn't about to miss what y'all had cookin'.

Some cowboy, Jude!

- Here goes. - Go for it.

Uh-huh, looks like ol' Grady and the law

were in on the Duke's plan, too.

Now, that's a switch.

Everybody out of the car! Everybody!

Up, hands on the car.

Well, here we go.

One Snake all tied up for Ranger Emery.

Okay, Jesse, I'll take charge of the prisoner, now.

Hey, hold on a second.

Ol' Snake here is Jude's prisoner.

Uh-uh-uh, oh-oh-oh. I got other plans for Snake.

On account that he ain't been extradited yet

from my county, namely Hazzard.

Somethin' around here stinks.

Uh, boys!

After them!

'Boss, get in, come on, now. Go, go, get on in.'

Come on, y'all, get in. We ain't done, yet.

'Jude, get me outta here. These folks are crazy.'

Wait till you kiss one up.

- Here comes Grady. - Yeah.

You reckon the hardware bolted on here's gonna get us across?

Yeah, there ain't but one way to find out.

'Come on! There they are. Come on, get 'em.'

Stop. Drop it right there.

Enos, uh, cuff 'em a-and don't forget to read 'em their rights.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Grady! Come on, get in here.

We're gotta go get Snake Harmon! We're gonna lose him!

- Now, come on, and... - I'm comin', I'm comin'!

Leave them small fry behind. Come on, we gotta get 'em.

Come on, let's go.

We got some real nice pictures of you boys in our restroom.

Wanna go take some more?

'It's up to you, Luke. Now, give it all you got.'

Whoa!

There ain't another road out there.

We got 'em now.

Yeah, now, if they're lost.

Right.

Don't agree with me!

Oh, alright. Oh, here. Here, Boss.

- Oh, here, take my hand. - No, I don't want your hand.

Here let me.. Oh. Here here. Boss..

- Woo-hoo! - Come here, get out.

Snake, Snake Harmon! Snake Harmon, you-you're under arrest.

Hold on there, hoss. That's my prisoner.

- Not it my county, it ain't. - 'That's right, Mr. Ranger.'

Grady is a duly constituted law here in Hazzard County.

- What little there is of it. - Now you'd be right, Boss.

- If this was Hazzard County. - Then, what is it?

Well, no matter how dry Hazzard creek is

it's still the county line.

- What? - Yee-haw!

Yee-ha-ha-haw! Whee! Whee!

- 'I'm comin', I'm comin'.' - This is Placid County.

- Well, I-I ain't sheriff here. - You..

You ain't hardly sheriff anywhere, Grady.

- Oh... - Excuse me, sheriff.

- Well, Snake. - Hey, Jude.

- Looks like you're all mine. - Damn!

I made it, sheriff. Oh, excuse me.

And that's the legend of how the Dukes helped

capture the notorious Snake Harmon.

And Boss had some tall explainin' to do

about contraband deliveries.

Grady and Enos got two wanted men.

And Daisy..

Do me a favor, and don't promise to come back.

You, uh, you don't want me to come back?

Come back. Just don't make me any promises.

- Woo-hoo! - Yee-haw!

Honey... I better get movin'.

I'm gonna forget all about Texas.

And Daisy got a little hooked on a stranger passing through.

A stranger named Jude Emery.