Original subtitles

BEN: Can you all hear me?

Good.

Because if I'm going to speak, then I want you to listen.

I want us all to think about the moral codes and Christian principles

we practise as devout believers in God's holy word.

I want us to consider the Commandments.

Now, I'm thinking of one specifically.

Can anyone guess which one?

It rhymes with...

..thou shalt not thrill.

RADIO: It's seven o'clock on Friday the 18th June.

The news headlines this morning.

Late night talks in Brussels have failed to produce

an agreement on a new president for the European Commission.

Supermarkets have accused the government

of inaccurate shock tactics on the issue of salt in food...

BIRDSONG

BIRDS COO

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

In the many years he has been first English teacher

and then head of the English department here at Stowe,

he has been an integral, vital part of the life of the school.

Not just the academic life but its cultural,

pastoral and spiritual life.

It is wonderful to see so many old Stoics here today.

So many who have found their lives changed,

so many who have been cajoled,

encouraged, enthused

and inspired by him.

So many who have discovered, through his passionate commitment

to teaching, a lifelong love for poetry,

for literature, for music, theatre, philosophy,

for the word of Christ.

So many here today who have been buoyed up by the warmth

and support of his friendship

and, yes, it has to be said, by his sharp rebuke

if you did not meet the high standard he set out for you.

A standard he set out for himself.

And once rebuked, never forgotten.

LAUGHTER

Hm!

He says he is retiring but I find that very hard to believe.

He has never been retiring!

LAUGHTER

I know he has a speech

and I know, as a point of principle, it will be far better than mine.

So, Stoics old and new,

please show your appreciation for Mr Peter Farquhar.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Absolute pleasure.

APPLAUSE STOPS

I didn't say stop.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Headmaster, I've just seen my brother. Oh, of course, of course.

Hello there.

Oh, that was wonderful!

Glad to see the back of me.

Oh, no.

Mum and Dad would be so proud.

Mummy, yes. Dad? Hm...

Always a first time, I suppose.

He WOULD be so proud.

To you, Peter. To you.

Thank you.

TV: A centre of Islamic rule since the time of the Crusades...

OPERA SCORE PLAYS

ANNOUNCER: This is the Great Western service to London Paddington.

Thank you, Andrew.

How are you sleeping?

Oh, well, you know...

Usual few hours and then awake.

I try to write but...

..I waste hours and hours on my pathetic habit.

The websites?

It's not pornography. Never pornography.

I didn't say it was.

That's not what I want, I know that.

I don't want...

..mess.

Even my deviance is pathetic.

You punish yourself with such severity, Peter.

I think you do yourself great harm.

The insomnia doesn't matter that much. I've plenty to do.

I'm writing another novel.

I think this could be the one and the University of Buckingham

have asked me to be a guest lecturer.

Romantics. I've got plenty to do.

Your evasions are usually more subtle.

That was like being hit in the face with a brick.

I should be punished.

Looking, wanting,

desiring, the craving, it's...

It's a squalid witness for Christ.

Do you think Christ wants you to be lonely and unhappy?

Do you really believe that,

if you were in a loving relationship with a man, he would reject you?

The Church would. But would Christ?

It's a moot point, isn't it? Why?

Because I do not think it is possible for me to be loved...

..in that way.

It's just not possible.

THINKS: There's a black hole where emotional connection should be.

How I wish the Lord would help me.

But if that is his plan...

..then so be it.

No sound is dissonant...

..which tells...

..of life.

Now, where's this come from?

Anyone?

Yes? No?

Well, you're at university now, no-one's going to duff you up

behind the bike sheds for answering teacher.

Yes? No?

This Lime-Tree Bower, My Prison - Coleridge.

Yes! Thank you.

No sound is dissonant which tells of life.

No sound.

Today, we're going to talk about why this is such a revolutionary

and incendiary statement

and how it could be said to characterise the Romantic Ideal.

We'll have fun.

I promise you!

What had existed before the Romantics?

Old, cramping forms of art with acceptable subjects for poetry,

for painting, for architecture, for music.

Now here are the disruptors,

the Romantics,

with their unappeasable yearning quest for the true source

and meaning of what it means to be alive

in this green, beautiful and terrible world.

I'm sorry for being late.

No, not-not at all. Um...

Oh, we were just discussing what characterises the,

er, Romantic Ideal.

There is no law but the artist's feeling.

Yes.

Good.

So, the artist's feeling is his law.

No sound is dissonant which tells of life.

With these two principles in mind, let us read Kubla Khan

and, er, talk about opium,

fever dreams,

sinuous rills and a woman wailing for her demon lover.

Well, that's woken them up!

THINKS: My first lesson at Buckingham University.

A pleasant enough group if not very responsive,

except for one clever, enthusiastic lad, Ben Field.

He is a delightful young man.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

CAR HORN BEEPS

If you try and help me, I shall strike you down.

Good morning, Liz.

Well, open the door for me.

Thank you.

No, don't...

Poor Christine.

How is this fair,

living in this prison?

You can never go home because it's been sold to pay for the prison.

No escape but feet first.

It's not a prison.

They want to control us, the elderly.

Lock us up.

Rinse us for revenue.

CHRISTINE MURMURS GENTLY

This terrifies me.

Being helpless.

Absolutely terrifies me.

Me too.

But we're not done yet, are we, hm?

CAR UNLOCKS

Mr Farquhar, hello.

Oh, Peter, please.

What a nice surprise.

What are you doing here?

Er... I was looking at the church.

I like looking at churches.

So do I.

KETTLE BOILS

Here we are.

I-I read your novel,

Between Boy And Man.

I enjoyed it very much.

Really? I'm so pleased.

I write poems.

I don't suppose, if you had the time or inclination, you might...

Well, I'd be very happy to read your poems, Ben.

You'd have to be gentle with me.

I haven't shown them to anyone before.

Don't think I noticed you wearing that before?

Ah! Um...

I help my girlfriend look after her son.

He's got learning difficulties

and he likes to grab hold of anything that isn't anchored down.

I'll endure much for Christ

but I draw the line at being throttled!

HE LAUGHS

Where do you worship?

I'm looking for a church to call home.

Haven't quite found it yet.

Well, I'm a lay preacher at St Mary's in Stowe.

You'd be very welcome there.

I'd love that.

Thank you very much.

So you help with your girlfriend's son?

That's very thoughtful.

He's such a great kid and I like to help.

I like to take care.

What about you, do you have a partner?

I never married. I didn't mean that.

I wondered if you had a man to share your life with?

I didn't think I was that obvious.

You're not.

Well, then, you're a very perceptive young man.

But in answer to your question, no, I'm very much a single man.

I think that's a shame.

It's lovely here.

So peaceful.

A bit too peaceful sometimes.

I used to take in lodgers.

I'm thinking about doing it again.

I might be able to help you with that.

I think we're going to get along very well.

Here...

..top, bottom.

I-I got you something.

Sort of a...house warming.

Oh!

Oh, well, this looks very special.

Thank you.

That's the lot.

I'm going to order a Chinese takeaway to celebrate.

I've got the menus downstairs. Come and choose what you want.

I'll open some wine too.

Not bad.

This house...

It's like he hasn't done anything to it since the fucking '70s!

Don't swear, Martyn.

Sorry.

You know what we've got to do?

What? We have got to get you a girlfriend.

But first, crispy duck!

Peter, rice? Ah, yes, yes, please.

It's a pretty good one. I mean, it's nothing special.

It's one that I like. It's a regular of mine.

Here we are.

Thank you so much.

Cheers!

No, no.

..Cause me to hear in the morning thy kindness,

for in thee I have trusted.

Caused me to know the way that I go,

for unto thee I have lifted up my soul.

Deliver me from mine enemies, O Jehovah...

Pleased to meet you, Ben. I really enjoyed the sermon.

Thank you. I think he might be joining us.

Ah, a new face. Good to see you. Thank you very much for having me.

I met Murder on the way.

He had a mask like Castlereagh.

Very smooth he looked and grim

and seven bloodhounds followed him.

All were fat and well they might be in admirable plight.

For one by one and two by two

he tossed them human hearts to chew!

Chew.

He has such a talent for writing poetry, a gift with words.

Such a sensitive intellect and mature intelligence.

The dissertation he's writing is really very good indeed

and he's talking about entering the Ministry.

Now, he is exactly the sort of young man the Church is crying out for.

Peter, food's going cold.

Oh, you want me to shut up, Ian?

Oh, no, he just wants to get to pudding.

There's apple crumble with ice cream or custard, or both.

No, it is nice you've made such a good friend.

Mm.

BEN: ..takes in that landscape of beauty... Yeah.

..especially the stained glass. Mm.

Nobody here!

Isn't it lovely?

Beautiful work.

Abraham.

This is rather... I think this might be earlier.

Looks slightly earlier.

And the robe there.

There we are. That's lovely.

That's perfect. Yes, OK, good. Yes.

Not that long ago, if you had told me

that a day like this would happen, I wouldn't have believed you.

Why?

Dark times, you know.

The total absence of light.

Yes, I understand that.

More than you might imagine.

But it's different now?

You're more hopeful? I am. Mm.

Oh, and that's down to you.

Oh, come on, that's not true. It is.

You've changed everything for me.

I split from my girlfriend.

Why?

Because I wasn't being honest with her.

Because it wasn't what I wanted any more. Mm.

Because I've developed feelings for someone else.

I wrote you a poem.

Oh, right.

Oh, no, read it at home.

I couldn't bear it if you read it with me here and didn't like it.

Read it at home. Promise?

Promise.

The poem is...

..glorious.

It sings, Ben.

Your words...

..sing.

HE SOBS

Oh!

I'm all right.

I've got it, thank you.

Oh!

The light!

It's like being on top of the world!

It's my favourite place.

I, I...

..wanted to bring you here to...

..tell you something.

Yes?

I've fallen in love with you, Peter.

What?

I love you...

..with all my heart,

with everything that I have,

with all that I am, I love you.

I didn't dare believe it. I...

Peter Anthony Scott Farquhar...

..can we be betrothed?

Pledge ourselves to each other in body and soul?

Yes...

Yes.

I, I love you too.

Yes! Yes!

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, oh, dear God.

Thank you!

Hello, Peter.

This is Ben.

Ben, pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to finally meet you.

Peter, do you commit yourself to Ben?

Will you honour, cherish and love him for the entirety of your life?

I will.

Ben, do you commit yourself to Peter?

Will you honour, cherish and love him for the entirety of your life?

I will.

Please kneel.

May God in his bounteous Grace bless you

and may the light of his Divinity bring you such infinite joy.

You may stand.

Never had a double bed before my entire life.

Are you telling me you're a virgin?

Barely even been kissed.

I've thought about this so much but now it's here I'm rather frightened.

Very, actually.

Of course.

Yeah, of course.

I don't want sex.

Tell me what you do want.

I want to hold

and be held.

HE SHUDDERS

WHISPERS: That's it.

Come here.

OPERA SCORE PLAYS

DOG BARKS

ANN: Come on, Rosie.

We'll go to the park today.

Breakfast in bed?

What a treat.

I am going to be waiting on you hand and foot.

I don't want you to do that.

Tough. You don't have a choice.

Who's the lady who lives down the road? She's got a little dog.

Oh, that's Ann. Ann Moore-Martin.

And the little dog is Rosie.

Ah. Why?

Curious about my new neighbours.

Is Martyn going to carry on living here?

Why shouldn't he?

It's a bit gooseberry, isn't it?

Besides, I could use his bedroom as my study.

I can't just throw him out - it's his home.

I don't mean immediately. I mean, in our future.

Is it going to be three of us or two of us?

You must have some friends who'd like him as a lodger.

He's so easy to get along with.

What about your friend, Liz?

She's on her own, isn't she?

Well, I could ask, but, er...

..but not yet.

It seems a bit harsh on poor Martyn.

Of course.

Just something to mull on.

Well...

..smart enough?

I'd give you a job.

I'd give you anything.

Good morning. Morning. I'm Ben.

Morning, Nick. Morning.

How are you? Good, thanks.

Behold, I tell you a mystery.

We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed...

Hello.

My name is Ben.

I'm new here.

How are you today?

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump,

for this trumpet will sound

and the dead will be raised imperishable.

Now, this is how the Resurrection applies to us

if we believe in the Resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

This really is delicious, Peter.

Ben made it.

Oh, he can cook as well as write poetry.

He's going to make some lucky girl a lovely husband.

Ben lives here now.

Did the other lad move out?

No, no, Martyn's still here, and now so is Ben.

With me.

What do you mean, with you?

I mean, with me, Ian.

I've never hid the fact that I'm homosexual.

Ben and I are together.

We are betrothed.

He would've been in church today, only he had to see his family,

but he still made us lunch because he's that sort of person.

I need to tell you something else.

I have changed my will to reflect my relationship with Ben.

He's now my main beneficiary.

Ian, not now.

Have you gone mad? I'm just, um, going to get some water.

It's my house and my money and I'll leave it to whomever I please.

I don't care about your money.

It's, it's you and this, this man...

His name is Ben!

What are people going to say?

I won't be making a public announcement.

You can't be betrothed. Yes, I can.

Betrothed and blessed.

But not married, no, because that's not allowed, is it? No.

And don't worry - Ben and I are celibate.

Intimate but celibate because we have to be, don't we?

There can't be sex... I don't want to hear the private details.

Of course you don't, no!

You don't want to know anything about my life, do you, no?

That's just the way it is, isn't it? Don't ask, don't tell.

Just pretend men like me don't exist.

But you cannot imagine my life before Ben.

And I need you to imagine it, Ian.

I need you to imagine my absolute despair.

You can stand with Sue in the sight of God, marry, have children,

and our Church and our faith smile on you.

Your life is full, but me?

I have to be untouched, unloved,

and live only a fraction of my life and that is in torment

and loneliness and self-loathing and grief.

But Ben has brought me to life, Ian.

I love and I am loved.

I just want you to be happy.

That's all I want.

For my brother to be happy.

I am.

KETTLE BOILS

DOG BARKS

Morning, Ben. Morning, Ann.

Morning, Rosie.

Oh, she gets jealous if I talk to anyone else.

Bye.

Finished.

We should celebrate tonight. Mm.

That's not right.

No, um...

There's flies here.

Um...

INCOHERENTLY: Oh, there's buzz-buzz-buzzing flies here.

Peter?

And then...

In the ice, I was there...

The ice was...

Peter, are you OK? There's a fly.

There aren't any flies, Peter.

Do you want to sit down maybe, Peter?

Er...

No, I-I'm fine, thank you. Just take a seat.

I'm going to call Ben. Flies. The light, it's, um...

Peter, I'm going to call Ben, OK? Yes.

KNOCK ON DOOR

I'm not asleep.

What did the doctor say?

Well, it's not an infection...

..which means it's something else.

He's referring me to a neurologist.

I'm pretty low about it, Martyn, if I'm honest.

Really rather low.

Would you like to be cheered up?

Very much.

This is amazing.

It's so good, Peter. I couldn't put it down.

Really?

Um...

Should I send it to publishers?

Oh, they take forever.

Publish it yourself.

It's easy.

I could help you organise it.

Invite people.

Launch it at your old school at Stowe.

Invite all the old boys.

I like the idea of that.

You're a dear boy, Martyn.

You're very kind.

Well, you look brighter. Yes.

Ben?

Are you here, Ben?

Mar-Martyn?

Martyn, are you there?

Hello?

Someone help me, please, please.

Help-help me.

Um, someone?

HE SCREAMS

HE WHIMPERS SOFTLY

The good news is that there's nothing on my brain or on my spine.

The bad news is it keeps happening.

We are so sorry you're going through this, Peter.

It's awful.

Is there anything we can do?

I'm being looked after round the clock.

I don't have to lift a finger.

You'll keep us up to date with the specialists?

Of course. Yeah, of course.

Has Peter always been a heavy drinker?

Peter? No.

Never.

Not that we've ever seen.

Please don't tell him I said anything.

I don't want him to feel I've gone behind his back.

Well, I'm glad you're here to help him.

I wouldn't be anywhere else.

Thank you.

Won't be long.

ANN: It was so awful!

Oh, she was so frightened!

Oh, my poor little Rosie!

SHE SOBS

Open your eyes.

There it is.

It's lovely, Martyn.

I charmed the kitchen staff.

Yes, of course you did. You're not going to have time to eat.

You'll be too busy talking and you need something.

Thank you.

Now hurry up or you'll still be chewing when people arrive.

Looks great.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

LOUD HUBBUB

CLASSICAL MUSIC DISTORTS

Mr Farquhar, are you OK? Are you OK?

Sorry, it must be the wine.

CONCERNED VOICES OVERLAP

Peter? Peter, are you all right?

Peter?

HE SHOUTS

It's all right, it's all right. It's me. It's me.

What's going on? Peter? Peter?

PETER CRIES OUT

Talk to me! It's Ian.

OK. It's all right.

Ben?

WEAKLY: W-w-w-what happened?

You happened.

You attacked me.

I didn't, I know I would never...

You pissed and shat on the floor

and then you masturbated onto my clothes

and, when I tried to stop you, you went for me.

Did I?

No, I can't have done.

Martyn and I have cleared everything up.

It was quite the job. I'm so sorry.

So sorry, I...

I don't know what's happening to me.

Well, I'm going to have to tell Martyn that I'm so sorry...

Martyn's not here.

What? Where, where is he? I-I-I don't understand.

He got a room at Liz's house.

Martyn left last night after we got back from the book launch.

He helped me clean up and went

and, frankly, I don't blame him.

With Liz? Er...

Peter, you organised it.

Oh.

I am so...

I am so sorry.

I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I...

I'm appalled at myself that I'd do such disgusting things!

It's not your fault. I'm so sorry.

I have to go away.

Oh, please don't leave me. I'm not leaving you.

It's for work.

Training.

But I have to find somewhere safe for you to be

because I can't leave you here alone. No.

I'm going to make some calls.

I'll bring you up some tea.

Your poor face.

I am so sorry, I...

It's all right.

I am forsaken.

Christ has turned his face from me.

I am lost.

Ready?

Yes.

Right.

I'll text you every day...

..morning and night, OK?

I thought we'd have longer

before I got old and ill.

I thought we'd have years.

ALARM SOUNDS

WOMAN SCREAMS

Good morning, Peter.

Did you sleep well?

WOMAN SCREAMS

ALARM SOUNDS

MAN CRIES OUT

KNOCK ON DOOR

Good morning, Peter.

Did you sleep well?

I did, yes, thank you.

The symptoms have just disappeared?

Completely gone. I can think, I can walk.

I'm leaving Lavender Tree and not feet first.

In fact, I'm stepping outside right now.

I'm broadcasting live!

This is the best news.

The very best news.

We were very frightened.

We'll come over, take you out to lunch.

Welcome back, Peter. I'll see you soon.

He'll bury us all.

TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

MICROWAVE PINGS

TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

Peter?

Peter?

BEN: I'm not going to tell you what to think.

But if you know what's right, you must act accordingly.

I am bound by scripture.

My conscience is captive to the word of God.

Here I stand.

Amen.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, hello, Ben.