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BEN: Can you all hear me?
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Good.
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Because if I'm going to speak,
then I want you to listen.
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I want us all to think about the
moral codes and Christian principles
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we practise as devout believers
in God's holy word.
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I want us to consider
the Commandments.
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Now, I'm thinking of
one specifically.
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Can anyone guess which one?
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It rhymes with...
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..thou shalt not thrill.
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RADIO: It's seven o'clock
on Friday the 18th June.
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The news headlines this morning.
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Late night talks in Brussels
have failed to produce
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an agreement on a new president
for the European Commission.
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Supermarkets have accused
the government
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of inaccurate shock tactics
on the issue of salt in food...
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BIRDSONG
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BIRDS COO
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CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
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In the many years he has been
first English teacher
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and then head of the English
department here at Stowe,
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he has been an integral, vital
part of the life of the school.
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Not just the academic life
but its cultural,
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pastoral and spiritual life.
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It is wonderful to see
so many old Stoics here today.
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So many who have
found their lives changed,
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so many who have been cajoled,
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encouraged, enthused
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and inspired by him.
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So many who have discovered,
through his passionate commitment
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to teaching, a lifelong
love for poetry,
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for literature,
for music, theatre, philosophy,
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for the word of Christ.
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So many here today who have
been buoyed up by the warmth
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and support of his friendship
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and, yes, it has to be said,
by his sharp rebuke
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if you did not meet the
high standard he set out for you.
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A standard he set out for himself.
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And once rebuked, never forgotten.
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LAUGHTER
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Hm!
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He says he is retiring but I find
that very hard to believe.
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He has never been retiring!
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LAUGHTER
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I know he has a speech
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and I know, as a point of principle,
it will be far better than mine.
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So, Stoics old and new,
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please show your appreciation
for Mr Peter Farquhar.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Absolute pleasure.
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APPLAUSE STOPS
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I didn't say stop.
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LAUGHTER
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APPLAUSE CONTINUES
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CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
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Headmaster, I've just seen my
brother. Oh, of course, of course.
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Hello there.
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Oh, that was wonderful!
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Glad to see the back of me.
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Oh, no.
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Mum and Dad would be so proud.
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Mummy, yes. Dad? Hm...
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Always a first time, I suppose.
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He WOULD be so proud.
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To you, Peter. To you.
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Thank you.
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TV: A centre of Islamic rule since
the time of the Crusades...
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OPERA SCORE PLAYS
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ANNOUNCER: This is the Great Western
service to London Paddington.
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Thank you, Andrew.
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How are you sleeping?
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Oh, well, you know...
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Usual few hours and then awake.
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I try to write but...
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..I waste hours and hours
on my pathetic habit.
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The websites?
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It's not pornography.
Never pornography.
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I didn't say it was.
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That's not what I want, I know that.
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I don't want...
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..mess.
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Even my deviance is pathetic.
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You punish yourself with
such severity, Peter.
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I think you do yourself great harm.
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The insomnia doesn't matter
that much. I've plenty to do.
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I'm writing another novel.
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I think this could be the one
and the University of Buckingham
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have asked me to be
a guest lecturer.
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Romantics. I've got plenty to do.
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Your evasions are
usually more subtle.
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That was like being hit
in the face with a brick.
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I should be punished.
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Looking, wanting,
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desiring, the craving, it's...
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00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,000
It's a squalid witness for Christ.
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Do you think Christ wants you
to be lonely and unhappy?
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Do you really believe that,
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if you were in a loving relationship
with a man, he would reject you?
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The Church would. But would Christ?
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00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,960
It's a moot point, isn't it? Why?
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Because I do not think it is
possible for me to be loved...
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..in that way.
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It's just not possible.
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THINKS: There's a black hole where
emotional connection should be.
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How I wish the Lord would help me.
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But if that is his plan...
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..then so be it.
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No sound is dissonant...
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..which tells...
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..of life.
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Now, where's this come from?
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Anyone?
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Yes? No?
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Well, you're at university now,
no-one's going to duff you up
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behind the bike sheds
for answering teacher.
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Yes? No?
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This Lime-Tree Bower, My Prison -
Coleridge.
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Yes! Thank you.
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No sound is dissonant
which tells of life.
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No sound.
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Today, we're going to talk about
why this is such a revolutionary
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and incendiary statement
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and how it could be said to
characterise the Romantic Ideal.
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We'll have fun.
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I promise you!
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What had existed
before the Romantics?
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Old, cramping forms of art with
acceptable subjects for poetry,
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for painting, for architecture,
for music.
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00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,976
Now here are the disruptors,
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the Romantics,
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with their unappeasable yearning
quest for the true source
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and meaning of what
it means to be alive
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in this green, beautiful
and terrible world.
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I'm sorry for being late.
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No, not-not at all. Um...
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Oh, we were just discussing
what characterises the,
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00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,120
er, Romantic Ideal.
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There is no law
but the artist's feeling.
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Yes.
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Good.
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So, the artist's feeling is his law.
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No sound is dissonant
which tells of life.
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With these two principles in mind,
let us read Kubla Khan
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and, er, talk about opium,
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fever dreams,
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sinuous rills and a woman
wailing for her demon lover.
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Well, that's woken them up!
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THINKS: My first lesson
at Buckingham University.
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A pleasant enough group
if not very responsive,
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except for one clever,
enthusiastic lad, Ben Field.
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He is a delightful young man.
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CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
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CAR HORN BEEPS
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If you try and help me,
I shall strike you down.
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Good morning, Liz.
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Well, open the door for me.
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Thank you.
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00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,600
No, don't...
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Poor Christine.
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How is this fair,
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living in this prison?
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00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:05,320
You can never go home because it's
been sold to pay for the prison.
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No escape but feet first.
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It's not a prison.
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They want to control us,
the elderly.
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Lock us up.
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Rinse us for revenue.
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CHRISTINE MURMURS GENTLY
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This terrifies me.
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Being helpless.
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Absolutely terrifies me.
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Me too.
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But we're not done yet, are we, hm?
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CAR UNLOCKS
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Mr Farquhar, hello.
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Oh, Peter, please.
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What a nice surprise.
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00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,616
What are you doing here?
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00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,176
Er... I was looking at the church.
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00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,816
I like looking at churches.
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So do I.
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KETTLE BOILS
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00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,280
Here we are.
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I-I read your novel,
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Between Boy And Man.
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I enjoyed it very much.
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Really? I'm so pleased.
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I write poems.
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00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,496
I don't suppose, if you had the time
or inclination, you might...
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00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,240
Well, I'd be very happy
to read your poems, Ben.
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You'd have to be gentle with me.
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I haven't shown them
to anyone before.
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Don't think I noticed you
wearing that before?
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00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,296
Ah! Um...
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00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,296
I help my girlfriend
look after her son.
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00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,976
He's got learning difficulties
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and he likes to grab hold of
anything that isn't anchored down.
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I'll endure much for Christ
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00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,376
but I draw the line
at being throttled!
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HE LAUGHS
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00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,576
Where do you worship?
203
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,496
I'm looking for a church
to call home.
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Haven't quite found it yet.
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00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,976
Well, I'm a lay preacher
at St Mary's in Stowe.
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00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,256
You'd be very welcome there.
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00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,696
I'd love that.
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00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,760
Thank you very much.
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00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,600
So you help
with your girlfriend's son?
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00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,016
That's very thoughtful.
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00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,696
He's such a great kid
and I like to help.
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00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,480
I like to take care.
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00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,976
What about you,
do you have a partner?
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00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,136
I never married. I didn't mean that.
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00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,080
I wondered if you had a man
to share your life with?
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00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,736
I didn't think I was that obvious.
217
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,120
You're not.
218
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,920
Well, then, you're a very
perceptive young man.
219
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,040
But in answer to your question,
no, I'm very much a single man.
220
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:19,720
I think that's a shame.
221
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,000
It's lovely here.
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00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,400
So peaceful.
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00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,336
A bit too peaceful sometimes.
224
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,736
I used to take in lodgers.
225
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,520
I'm thinking about doing it again.
226
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,480
I might be able to
help you with that.
227
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,656
I think we're going to
get along very well.
228
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,056
Here...
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00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,976
..top, bottom.
230
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,456
I-I got you something.
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00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,296
Sort of a...house warming.
232
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,360
Oh!
233
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,976
Oh, well, this looks very special.
234
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,040
Thank you.
235
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,600
That's the lot.
236
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,376
I'm going to order a Chinese
takeaway to celebrate.
237
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,136
I've got the menus downstairs.
Come and choose what you want.
238
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,600
I'll open some wine too.
239
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,136
Not bad.
240
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,056
This house...
241
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,176
It's like he hasn't done anything
to it since the fucking '70s!
242
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,440
Don't swear, Martyn.
243
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,840
Sorry.
244
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,416
You know what we've got to do?
245
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,400
What?
We have got to get you a girlfriend.
246
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,840
But first, crispy duck!
247
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,040
Peter, rice? Ah, yes, yes, please.
248
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,336
It's a pretty good one.
I mean, it's nothing special.
249
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,736
It's one that I like.
It's a regular of mine.
250
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,800
Here we are.
251
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,416
Thank you so much.
252
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,880
Cheers!
253
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,200
No, no.
254
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,696
..Cause me to hear in the morning
thy kindness,
255
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,176
for in thee I have trusted.
256
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,496
Caused me to know the way that I go,
257
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,736
for unto thee
I have lifted up my soul.
258
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:42,120
Deliver me from mine enemies,
O Jehovah...
259
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,296
Pleased to meet you, Ben.
I really enjoyed the sermon.
260
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,176
Thank you.
I think he might be joining us.
261
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,400
Ah, a new face. Good to see you.
Thank you very much for having me.
262
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,416
I met Murder on the way.
263
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,536
He had a mask like Castlereagh.
264
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,616
Very smooth he looked and grim
265
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,456
and seven bloodhounds followed him.
266
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:11,216
All were fat and well they might be
in admirable plight.
267
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,176
For one by one and two by two
268
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,816
he tossed them human hearts to chew!
269
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,616
Chew.
270
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:23,016
He has such a talent for writing
poetry, a gift with words.
271
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,456
Such a sensitive intellect
and mature intelligence.
272
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,296
The dissertation he's writing
is really very good indeed
273
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,816
and he's talking about
entering the Ministry.
274
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,376
Now, he is exactly the sort of young
man the Church is crying out for.
275
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,336
Peter, food's going cold.
276
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,776
Oh, you want me to shut up, Ian?
277
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,136
Oh, no, he just wants
to get to pudding.
278
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,000
There's apple crumble with ice cream
or custard, or both.
279
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,456
No, it is nice
you've made such a good friend.
280
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,520
Mm.
281
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,896
BEN: ..takes in that landscape
of beauty... Yeah.
282
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,160
..especially the stained glass. Mm.
283
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,840
Nobody here!
284
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:13,760
Isn't it lovely?
285
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,176
Beautiful work.
286
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,960
Abraham.
287
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,376
This is rather... I think
this might be earlier.
288
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,776
Looks slightly earlier.
289
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,760
And the robe there.
290
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,296
There we are. That's lovely.
291
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,840
That's perfect. Yes, OK, good. Yes.
292
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,096
Not that long ago,
if you had told me
293
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,296
that a day like this would happen,
I wouldn't have believed you.
294
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,296
Why?
295
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,936
Dark times, you know.
296
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,896
The total absence of light.
297
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,896
Yes, I understand that.
298
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,456
More than you might imagine.
299
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,376
But it's different now?
300
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,320
You're more hopeful? I am. Mm.
301
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,160
Oh, and that's down to you.
302
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,136
Oh, come on, that's not true. It is.
303
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,560
You've changed everything for me.
304
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,920
I split from my girlfriend.
305
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,816
Why?
306
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,856
Because I wasn't being
honest with her.
307
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,736
Because it wasn't what
I wanted any more. Mm.
308
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,600
Because I've developed
feelings for someone else.
309
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,536
I wrote you a poem.
310
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,680
Oh, right.
311
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,976
Oh, no, read it at home.
312
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,456
I couldn't bear it if you read it
with me here and didn't like it.
313
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,576
Read it at home. Promise?
314
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,280
Promise.
315
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,680
The poem is...
316
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,120
..glorious.
317
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,240
It sings, Ben.
318
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,280
Your words...
319
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,240
..sing.
320
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,840
HE SOBS
321
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,256
Oh!
322
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,520
I'm all right.
323
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:50,960
I've got it, thank you.
324
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,520
Oh!
325
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,016
The light!
326
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,240
It's like being on top of the world!
327
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,440
It's my favourite place.
328
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,520
I, I...
329
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,696
..wanted to bring you here to...
330
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:33,880
..tell you something.
331
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,680
Yes?
332
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,360
I've fallen in love with you, Peter.
333
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,616
What?
334
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:49,680
I love you...
335
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,016
..with all my heart,
336
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,896
with everything that I have,
337
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,160
with all that I am, I love you.
338
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,040
I didn't dare believe it. I...
339
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,640
Peter Anthony Scott Farquhar...
340
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,000
..can we be betrothed?
341
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,080
Pledge ourselves to each other
in body and soul?
342
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,536
Yes...
343
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:24,576
Yes.
344
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,216
I, I love you too.
345
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,880
Yes! Yes!
346
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:03,960
Thank you.
347
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:06,960
Oh, thank you.
348
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:09,496
Thank you.
349
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,000
Thank you, oh, dear God.
350
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,000
Thank you!
351
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,000
Hello, Peter.
352
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,216
This is Ben.
353
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,240
Ben, pleasure to meet you.
Pleasure to finally meet you.
354
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,760
Peter, do you commit
yourself to Ben?
355
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,120
Will you honour, cherish and love
him for the entirety of your life?
356
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:00,680
I will.
357
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,360
Ben, do you commit
yourself to Peter?
358
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,616
Will you honour, cherish and love
him for the entirety of your life?
359
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,920
I will.
360
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,320
Please kneel.
361
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,576
May God in his bounteous Grace
bless you
362
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,600
and may the light of his Divinity
bring you such infinite joy.
363
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:37,800
You may stand.
364
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,536
Never had a double bed before
my entire life.
365
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,136
Are you telling me you're a virgin?
366
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:42,440
Barely even been kissed.
367
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,840
I've thought about this so much but
now it's here I'm rather frightened.
368
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,736
Very, actually.
369
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,696
Of course.
370
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:57,760
Yeah, of course.
371
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,040
I don't want sex.
372
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,440
Tell me what you do want.
373
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,096
I want to hold
374
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,320
and be held.
375
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,640
HE SHUDDERS
376
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,040
WHISPERS: That's it.
377
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,520
Come here.
378
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:30,440
OPERA SCORE PLAYS
379
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,000
DOG BARKS
380
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,976
ANN: Come on, Rosie.
381
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,760
We'll go to the park today.
382
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,840
Breakfast in bed?
383
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,176
What a treat.
384
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,616
I am going to be waiting on you
hand and foot.
385
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,336
I don't want you to do that.
386
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,640
Tough. You don't have a choice.
387
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:30,016
Who's the lady who lives down
the road? She's got a little dog.
388
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,176
Oh, that's Ann. Ann Moore-Martin.
389
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,016
And the little dog is Rosie.
390
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,136
Ah. Why?
391
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:38,880
Curious about my new neighbours.
392
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,136
Is Martyn going to
carry on living here?
393
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:45,360
Why shouldn't he?
394
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,560
It's a bit gooseberry, isn't it?
395
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,360
Besides, I could
use his bedroom as my study.
396
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,576
I can't just throw him out -
it's his home.
397
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,176
I don't mean immediately.
I mean, in our future.
398
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,096
Is it going to be three of us
or two of us?
399
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,976
You must have some friends
who'd like him as a lodger.
400
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:10,520
He's so easy to get along with.
401
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,696
What about your friend, Liz?
402
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,696
She's on her own, isn't she?
403
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,616
Well, I could ask, but, er...
404
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,096
..but not yet.
405
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,296
It seems a bit harsh on poor Martyn.
406
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,936
Of course.
407
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,320
Just something to mull on.
408
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:31,600
Well...
409
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,480
..smart enough?
410
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:37,880
I'd give you a job.
411
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,360
I'd give you anything.
412
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,960
Good morning. Morning. I'm Ben.
413
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,736
Morning, Nick. Morning.
414
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,120
How are you? Good, thanks.
415
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:12,416
Behold, I tell you a mystery.
416
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:16,320
We shall not all sleep,
but we shall all be changed...
417
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,840
Hello.
418
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,536
My name is Ben.
419
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:26,680
I'm new here.
420
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,696
How are you today?
421
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:33,256
In a moment, in the twinkling
of an eye, at the last trump,
422
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,896
for this trumpet will sound
423
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,120
and the dead will be
raised imperishable.
424
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:44,096
Now, this is how the Resurrection
applies to us
425
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:49,240
if we believe in the Resurrection
of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
426
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,776
This really is delicious, Peter.
427
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:57,840
Ben made it.
428
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,376
Oh, he can cook
as well as write poetry.
429
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,456
He's going to make some lucky girl
a lovely husband.
430
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,280
Ben lives here now.
431
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,176
Did the other lad move out?
432
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,216
No, no, Martyn's still here,
and now so is Ben.
433
00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:15,280
With me.
434
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,456
What do you mean, with you?
435
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,976
I mean, with me, Ian.
436
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,456
I've never hid the fact
that I'm homosexual.
437
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:27,800
Ben and I are together.
438
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,480
We are betrothed.
439
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,016
He would've been in church today,
only he had to see his family,
440
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,000
but he still made us lunch
because he's that sort of person.
441
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,160
I need to tell you something else.
442
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,640
I have changed my will to
reflect my relationship with Ben.
443
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,520
He's now my main beneficiary.
444
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,640
Ian, not now.
445
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,760
Have you gone mad? I'm just,
um, going to get some water.
446
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:05,440
It's my house and my money and
I'll leave it to whomever I please.
447
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,776
I don't care about your money.
448
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,936
It's, it's you and this, this man...
449
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,000
His name is Ben!
450
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:36,936
What are people going to say?
451
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,616
I won't be making a
public announcement.
452
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,256
You can't be betrothed. Yes, I can.
453
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,296
Betrothed and blessed.
454
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:46,696
But not married, no, because
that's not allowed, is it? No.
455
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:49,496
And don't worry -
Ben and I are celibate.
456
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,536
Intimate but celibate
because we have to be, don't we?
457
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,096
There can't be sex... I don't want
to hear the private details.
458
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:56,336
Of course you don't, no!
459
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,656
You don't want to know
anything about my life, do you, no?
460
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,576
That's just the way it is, isn't it?
Don't ask, don't tell.
461
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,760
Just pretend men like me
don't exist.
462
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,840
But you cannot
imagine my life before Ben.
463
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,840
And I need you to imagine it, Ian.
464
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:19,080
I need you to
imagine my absolute despair.
465
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:24,056
You can stand with Sue in the sight
of God, marry, have children,
466
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,136
and our Church and our faith
smile on you.
467
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,720
Your life is full, but me?
468
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:33,536
I have to be untouched, unloved,
469
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:37,616
and live only a fraction of my life
and that is in torment
470
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,640
and loneliness and self-loathing
and grief.
471
00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:45,600
But Ben has brought me to life, Ian.
472
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,440
I love and I am loved.
473
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,296
I just want you to be happy.
474
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,136
That's all I want.
475
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,880
For my brother to be happy.
476
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:15,640
I am.
477
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,120
KETTLE BOILS
478
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,200
DOG BARKS
479
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,336
Morning, Ben. Morning, Ann.
480
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,600
Morning, Rosie.
481
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,456
Oh, she gets jealous
if I talk to anyone else.
482
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,800
Bye.
483
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,680
Finished.
484
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,280
We should celebrate tonight. Mm.
485
00:38:58,880 --> 00:38:59,920
That's not right.
486
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,920
No, um...
487
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,880
There's flies here.
488
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,120
Um...
489
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,496
INCOHERENTLY: Oh, there's
buzz-buzz-buzzing flies here.
490
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,496
Peter?
491
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,336
And then...
492
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,496
In the ice, I was there...
493
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,560
The ice was...
494
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,656
Peter, are you OK? There's a fly.
495
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,280
There aren't any flies, Peter.
496
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,480
Do you want to
sit down maybe, Peter?
497
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:51,856
Er...
498
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,720
No, I-I'm fine, thank you.
Just take a seat.
499
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,456
I'm going to call Ben.
Flies. The light, it's, um...
500
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,640
Peter, I'm going to
call Ben, OK? Yes.
501
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,000
KNOCK ON DOOR
502
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:16,640
I'm not asleep.
503
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,456
What did the doctor say?
504
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,960
Well, it's not an infection...
505
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,520
..which means it's something else.
506
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,480
He's referring me to a neurologist.
507
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,336
I'm pretty low about it,
Martyn, if I'm honest.
508
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,640
Really rather low.
509
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,696
Would you like to be cheered up?
510
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,080
Very much.
511
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,880
This is amazing.
512
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,896
It's so good, Peter.
I couldn't put it down.
513
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,696
Really?
514
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:58,760
Um...
515
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,616
Should I send it to publishers?
516
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:02,976
Oh, they take forever.
517
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,776
Publish it yourself.
518
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:05,976
It's easy.
519
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,976
I could help you organise it.
520
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,616
Invite people.
521
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,336
Launch it at your
old school at Stowe.
522
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,416
Invite all the old boys.
523
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:15,960
I like the idea of that.
524
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,016
You're a dear boy, Martyn.
525
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:22,360
You're very kind.
526
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,920
Well, you look brighter. Yes.
527
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:16,840
Ben?
528
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,200
Are you here, Ben?
529
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,176
Mar-Martyn?
530
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,000
Martyn, are you there?
531
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,096
Hello?
532
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,480
Someone help me, please, please.
533
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,016
Help-help me.
534
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,200
Um, someone?
535
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,440
HE SCREAMS
536
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:59,720
HE WHIMPERS SOFTLY
537
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:46,696
The good news is that there's
nothing on my brain or on my spine.
538
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,816
The bad news is it keeps happening.
539
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,256
We are so sorry you're
going through this, Peter.
540
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:54,840
It's awful.
541
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:59,136
Is there anything we can do?
542
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,360
I'm being looked after
round the clock.
543
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,840
I don't have to lift a finger.
544
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,536
You'll keep us up to date
with the specialists?
545
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,320
Of course. Yeah, of course.
546
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:22,016
Has Peter always been
a heavy drinker?
547
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,856
Peter? No.
548
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:25,920
Never.
549
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,056
Not that we've ever seen.
550
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,016
Please don't tell him
I said anything.
551
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,520
I don't want him to feel
I've gone behind his back.
552
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,296
Well, I'm glad you're here
to help him.
553
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:38,800
I wouldn't be anywhere else.
554
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,320
Thank you.
555
00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:25,280
Won't be long.
556
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,016
ANN: It was so awful!
557
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,696
Oh, she was so frightened!
558
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,936
Oh, my poor little Rosie!
559
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,160
SHE SOBS
560
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,120
Open your eyes.
561
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:52,800
There it is.
562
00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:08,000
It's lovely, Martyn.
563
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:17,296
I charmed the kitchen staff.
564
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,416
Yes, of course you did. You're
not going to have time to eat.
565
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:24,096
You'll be too busy talking
and you need something.
566
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,376
Thank you.
567
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,360
Now hurry up or you'll still be
chewing when people arrive.
568
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:42,520
Looks great.
569
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,696
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
570
00:46:55,720 --> 00:46:57,960
LOUD HUBBUB
571
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,160
CLASSICAL MUSIC DISTORTS
572
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,680
Mr Farquhar, are you OK? Are you OK?
573
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,440
Sorry, it must be the wine.
574
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:44,560
CONCERNED VOICES OVERLAP
575
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,760
Peter? Peter, are you all right?
576
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:55,416
Peter?
577
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,696
HE SHOUTS
578
00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:59,696
It's all right, it's all right.
It's me. It's me.
579
00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:02,320
What's going on? Peter? Peter?
580
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,536
PETER CRIES OUT
581
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:06,720
Talk to me! It's Ian.
582
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:12,640
OK. It's all right.
583
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:21,520
Ben?
584
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:43,336
WEAKLY: W-w-w-what happened?
585
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,560
You happened.
586
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:47,616
You attacked me.
587
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,536
I didn't, I know I would never...
588
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,096
You pissed and shat on the floor
589
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,336
and then you masturbated
onto my clothes
590
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,216
and, when I tried to stop you,
you went for me.
591
00:48:57,240 --> 00:48:58,976
Did I?
592
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,576
No, I can't have done.
593
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,096
Martyn and I have
cleared everything up.
594
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,000
It was quite the job. I'm so sorry.
595
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:08,080
So sorry, I...
596
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,160
I don't know what's happening to me.
597
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,216
Well, I'm going to have to tell
Martyn that I'm so sorry...
598
00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:18,576
Martyn's not here.
599
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,016
What? Where, where is he?
I-I-I don't understand.
600
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,016
He got a room at Liz's house.
601
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,856
Martyn left last night after
we got back from the book launch.
602
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,936
He helped me clean up and went
603
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,760
and, frankly, I don't blame him.
604
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,416
With Liz? Er...
605
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,680
Peter, you organised it.
606
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,416
Oh.
607
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,216
I am so...
608
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,760
I am so sorry.
609
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,200
I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I...
610
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,096
I'm appalled at myself that
I'd do such disgusting things!
611
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,000
It's not your fault. I'm so sorry.
612
00:49:58,320 --> 00:49:59,616
I have to go away.
613
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,520
Oh, please don't leave me.
I'm not leaving you.
614
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:05,736
It's for work.
615
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:06,800
Training.
616
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,936
But I have to find somewhere
safe for you to be
617
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,040
because I can't leave you
here alone. No.
618
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,816
I'm going to make some calls.
619
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,056
I'll bring you up some tea.
620
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,320
Your poor face.
621
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,080
I am so sorry, I...
622
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:29,760
It's all right.
623
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:47,880
I am forsaken.
624
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,440
Christ has turned his face from me.
625
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:57,880
I am lost.
626
00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:01,280
Ready?
627
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:03,600
Yes.
628
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:27,120
Right.
629
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:53,960
I'll text you every day...
630
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,520
..morning and night, OK?
631
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,336
I thought we'd have longer
632
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:06,536
before I got old and ill.
633
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:07,920
I thought we'd have years.
634
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:30,296
ALARM SOUNDS
635
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:33,400
WOMAN SCREAMS
636
00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:43,456
Good morning, Peter.
637
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:44,800
Did you sleep well?
638
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,216
WOMAN SCREAMS
639
00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:53,480
ALARM SOUNDS
640
00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:59,320
MAN CRIES OUT
641
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,240
KNOCK ON DOOR
642
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:09,176
Good morning, Peter.
643
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:10,240
Did you sleep well?
644
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,360
I did, yes, thank you.
645
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:51,576
The symptoms have just disappeared?
646
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,176
Completely gone.
I can think, I can walk.
647
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:57,360
I'm leaving Lavender Tree
and not feet first.
648
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,016
In fact, I'm stepping
outside right now.
649
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:02,896
I'm broadcasting live!
650
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,256
This is the best news.
651
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:05,736
The very best news.
652
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,936
We were very frightened.
653
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,496
We'll come over,
take you out to lunch.
654
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,160
Welcome back, Peter.
I'll see you soon.
655
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,040
He'll bury us all.
656
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:57,720
TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
657
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:31,480
MICROWAVE PINGS
658
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:40,040
TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
659
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:22,440
Peter?
660
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:49,360
Peter?
661
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:08,880
BEN: I'm not going to
tell you what to think.
662
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:14,080
But if you know what's right,
you must act accordingly.
663
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:18,520
I am bound by scripture.
664
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:23,440
My conscience is
captive to the word of God.
665
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,520
Here I stand.
666
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:29,800
Amen.
667
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,880
PHONE RINGS
668
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,536
Hello?
669
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:40,800
Oh, hello, Ben.
45955
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