Original subtitles

The following programme contains strong language.

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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The United Kingdom is totally fucked.

Uh, I say that with a heavy heart.

I think this country has--

in the short space of eight years,

from the Olympics, which we now look back on as this incredible high,

and it was a high...

To get from there to where we are, by degrees,

is desperately sad.

But it-- it's also--

It also means that, uh...

we need humour and satire more than ever.

MAN: '..experimental medicine at Imperial College, London,

'has said the UK needs to act fast to stop coronavirus cases...

'..the rule of six coming in on Monday, it's a restriction,

'the plan for Birmingham, Solihull and Sandwell,

'banning people from different households from socialising...

'..have to change parts of the EU withdrawal agreement.

'He said the government collectively has a responsibility,

'and they've got to resolve...

'..restriction in northern England are going to include

'Liverpool, Warrington, Hartlepool and Middlesbrough...

'..EU are set to go before Parliament later.

'Boris Johnson is attempting to push through

'the internal market...'

(BIRDSONG)

Cold War Steve began in, I think it was March 2016.

Cold War Steve is Steve McFadden, Phil Mitchell,

who was in a Cold War scene.

And the joke was just the incongruous picture

of Steve McFadden in that scenario.

When it began, it was just... "Does this look funny?"

There was no thought about meaning or...

or context or anything like that.

And that's something that's evolved over the time.

I didn't know anything about Photoshop

or... or anything like that, it was just done...

cut out Phil Mitchell, put him in a photo.

I certainly didn't set out to create artistic masterpieces

or anything like that.

I've had bad mental health issues for my whole adult life,

but the beginning of 2016 was the lowest point,

you know, I was hospitalised, and coming out of there...

I decided I needed to...

Because I'd see things on the news or something,

and I'd be ranting and then just get pissed, and, you know...

there was no outlook for anything, so...

I decided to channel it into something positive,

or something creative or something that would be funny.

And... so it was just... this kind of form of therapy, really,

in just making the pictures and stuff like that.

If no one had liked it, I still would have carried on,

because I enjoyed making the pictures,

but it... it was brilliant that, along with making me feel better,

erm, it also got really popular.

I was sent a Cold War Steve, uh, collage, around 2016,

and just thought, "What is this?"

I had to make it bigger on my phone,

and it was just the joy of recognising people,

I thought, "Oh, that's someone... that's someone I know,"

It's lots of faces from the '70s and '80s,

so I thought, "Hang on, this seems to be artwork geared to me."

It was quite early on, it was at the height of Brexit fever,

and so that's, uh, a lot of...

uh... a lot of that would involve buses

and, um... Michael Gove and Boris Johnson... (CHUCKLING)

...and the... the... the wrecking crew.

I first came across Cold War Steve like I think a lot of people did.

I just stumbled across him on Twitter,

and was captivated by these images,

and was struck by how quickly the kind of people I knew

who were also on social media

were talking to each other about him.

Very quickly, there was this sense that...

this was someone special, it wasn't just someone who'd come up with

a bit of a Twitter parody, um, shtick.

They were really profound and worthy of exploration.

Some are obviously more apparent than others.

I don't like to be too obvious.

You know, I use the... the symbolism

or different recurring themes that come back,

and just put them in.

But I never title them, I just put the.. the picture up.

STEPHEN: I think the reason that his works survive,

and continue to enthral and beguile,

is because they don't tell you what to think about them.

First of all, you look to see where Steve McFadden...

(LAUGHING) ..is going to be standing or sitting,

and what he's watching, then you follow his eyeline,

then you look at the other people

and say, "What are they looking at?

"And have you created what you're looking at?"

If it's a rubbish tip, "Did you make that rubbish tip?

"Or are you responding--"

You know, all this extraordinary conversation goes on

through the eyes and the... the placing of figures.

And yet...

two people could come to it

and see a totally different conversation going on.

The whole point of Cold War Steve

is you have these brilliant associations with people who...

Like, Harold Shipman, I've noticed, has come up a lot.

Because Harold Shipman killed lots of old people,

I thought, "Oh, OK, what's that about?

"Aah, that might be about the deaths happening in care homes."

And then I saw Harold Shipman in the middle of,

it must be some kind of Conservative office,

and there, just in the corner, playing music,

is Harold Shipman and Fred West.

And you think, "What's Fred West doing there?

"He was a child killer."

And actually, you're now thinking, "Is he saying that actually,

"now kids are going back to school during a pandemic,

"they're killing children again?"

And that is dark,

but somehow, hilarious.

And the fact that we can say that in this country

is exactly what makes this country brilliant.

It's what makes this country--

it's a free country and we have freedom of speech.

I filled in a form recently, it says "occupation"

and I put "artist", and it just felt really weird.

Cos I-- I mean, I am, that's what I do for a living, is... art,

but I don't think I'll ever... feel, you know...

totally comfortable in saying it.

I don't know, it just--

The main thing I get... mental health was,

that I struggle with, is, um...

imposter syndrome, I think.

And just sitting here now is...

When I'm talking, like, every so often I think,

"What the fuck are they filming me for?" (LAUGHS)

Cos I'm still, you know, a factory worker or working on the roads,

and, you know, this is so new.

Cos I've been doing it as a job for just over a year now,

when I gave up the day job.

So that... the pressure's there, like, "What if it all ends?

"What if it stops? I'm fucked.

"I can't... You know, I've got to..."

So there's that, but then there's always this... this kind of...

you know, it can't be right,

I can't be having stuff in museums

and galleries and exhibitions and stuff,

because, you know, I was cleaning cones on the M42 in the snow,

like, you know, seven years ago.

For me, a clear comparison that I draw

between Cold War Steve works and art history

is with the Dada artists who emerged after World War I.

And they invented photo collage, and this montage,

and they were... they were cut and pasting political leaders

surrounded by machine-guns and, um, weapons of technology.

They were critiquing the world they saw around them,

and for me, that's what great art does.

It doesn't just reflect what's happening in the world,

it challenges it, and that's what

Cold War Steve's doing with his work.

The social and political landscape of now is turbulent.

Um... there is more information that is...

uh, that-- that is at my fingertips now

than has ever been before.

I can find out more about what is wrong with now,

and I can tell more people about it.

And they can tell more people about it,

and they can tell more people about it,

and then we can shout back,

and then we can take that information and we can march,

and we can meet, and we can talk, and we can, um...

we can fight back.

Every piece that I end up doing,

first of all I do on a sort of cheap cut and paste app.

So, I'll find the background that I think I want to use...

So, it's just a very basic cut and paste...

So, I've got him, and then it's placing him

where I think I will want him, and getting the size, and...

Just like a sketchbook, I suppose, of different ideas, and...

Some will take hours, and I'll-- I'll use layer after layer,

and some layers I'll get rid of, and...

But then, some I can just sit down and do very quickly,

and they're just as popular as the ones that take hours.

They do remind me of...

Erm, it's so easy to sound pretentious

when you start talking about high art,

but, you know, Bruegel,

and, um, even Hieronymous Bosch, and Hogarth,

and you think of big panels,

Marriage A-la-Mode and Rake's Progress, and so on,

they do show... the sort of mud and dirt of English life.

And that's something that isn't often shown.

You know, there's a pastoral English view

that Samuel Palmer and other painters show you,

and Stanley Spencer shows you something rather sweet as well.

But, uh... Cold War Steve shows you--

shows you the sort of...

that we're all peasants, we're all in the mud somehow.

Um, and I think that's a very important part of what art can do.

It doesn't just ennoble, it also brings us properly down to earth.

This is all you, this is your... WOMAN: What?

...displays of pride.Makes me seem very unsupportive, doesn't it?

MAN: But you're proud of him, Katie.Yeah!

You are proud of him? I am.

Yeah. Yeah, really, genuinely.

What's your favourite piece?

Name one. (LAUGHTER) That one. That one there,

cos that's from Birmingham, so, yeah.

Probably that one. Benny.Yeah.

Which is now going to be in the Birmingham gallery.Yes.

That's nice.

That one. Yeah.

What's your favourite Twitter one?

I'm not on Twitter.

Oh. (LAUGHS)

That's probably-- that's probably a good idea, isn't it?

Well, yeah. You don't want to be too involved.

It might go to his head. Yeah.

Katie's very, uh, grounding. Yes.

In a good way. I like to have, like, the-- the indifference.Yes.

(BOTH LAUGH) Yeah!

No, I just leave him to get on with it.Hm.

Cos there's-- there's other things for me to be getting on with.

Three children, a horse for a dog.

The house, the job.

What do you think of this,

Cold War Steve Meets the Outside World, then?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, it's good. It's very good.

It's nice to know that people appreciate what he does.Mm.

And get it. And get it, because I don't.

(LAUGHS) Right.

So, Cold War Steve Meets the Outside World,

because everything that I've done is small-scale,

designed for people to look at on a phone,

this is taking it beyond the next level.

So we're going big, outdoors,

in a sort of situationist way.

And it's a tour of... a kind of road trip around England,

starting at the Riverside Country Park, I think it is, in the Medway,

which obviously, cos it's such a monumental year news-wise for...

Um... obviously, the pandemic, so it's...

it kind of made sense to maybe get... a best of the year

in the, uh... in the location.

And then, after Medway, I think we're... Bournemouth.

So it's... a huge, two-sided windbreak.

One side positive, and the reverse side will be very unflattering.

And then, Liverpool, um...

it's gonna be a giant jigsaw,

floating on Albert Dock.

The final piece will be sending a postcard, a giant postcard,

from Birmingham, from the Spaghetti Junction,

sending it to Coventry, which is where we're heading now.

So we're coming up now, I think, to the Coventry Basin,

where I'm gonna meet Carl.

He's kind of my main man,

my mentor, manager,

uh...

It's more than a manager or agent type,

which I value him for, he's, you know...

someone that I can... sort of discuss things creatively...

So I'll do my... my pictures and things like that,

but outside of releasing things on Twitter,

it;s good to have, um... you know, Carl there to...

to make suggestions and...

Oh, there he is! Yay!

Just talking about you, mate, to camera.Oh, right.

Saying what a loathsome arsehole you are.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Terrible pain in the arse.

This is a really nice location, isn't it?

I think it's great. And hopefully,

the weather will be like this permanently, as well.(LAUGHS)

Well, that bridge is bloody low,

but apparently, we've got it sorted, so...

the artwork is gonna nicely tuck away...

Pass underneath these low bridges. ..and pass underneath it.

We shall see.

We'll get, maybe, Sam Allardyce,

to be on the barge.

Is Allardyce gonna feature in the artwork, then?No.

But I think he could be good as the driver.

Yeah?Steering it. Yeah.You know?

(CHUCKLES)Why... why do you feel the need to have C celebrities...

D celebrities... Yeah...

..people on the periphery... But they're always, um...

Like Sam Allardyce. That was...

that was something I used from the start,

as a-- a kind of blurring of celebrity culture and... leaders.

It stops the piece becoming too earnest.

We're filming it from Spaghetti Junction in Birmingham...Yeah.

Yeah. ...to here.Yeah?

How long do you think that would take?

Probably three days. (LAUGHS)But you'd be really...

I thought we'd do it in a day. I thought a day.

But you'd be really pushed... Like, set off at ten,

we'll be pulling into here at five.

Birmingham, from the 19th century, through the 20th century,

up till today, has been the home of so many radical

and disruptive artists.

Birmingham is the second city, there's this outsider feel to it,

so artists feel, perhaps...

Well, maybe they feel like they have more to prove,

or maybe they feel more like there's nothing to lose.

But either way, it means the art coming out of Birmingham

has always been more radical than other places.

Birmingham definitely shapes your outlook on... on the world

and on, uh, you know, political matters and things like that.

And it's very influential in what I do.

By and large, it's a bit shit,

but we, as Brummies, we know it's a bit shit.

We don't try and pretend it isn't,

which is part of its charm. (CHUCKLES)

If Cold War Steve's humour was, strictly speaking,

just Brummie humour, he wouldn't be so popular nationwide

and all... and around the world.

It may be Brummie humour, but he's found a way of speaking

from a Brummie perspective that people connect with.

It's pretty, uh... Hardcore.

Fuckin' hell. So this is only about four miles from your house.

Yeah. Mediaeval, isn't it?

Does anyone know which way Coventry actually is?

It's this way, look. Minworth, Tamworth, 40 miles. So...Ah.

Yeah, I mean, that... that is a...

It is a great spot.

Yeah.So you've got one... You've got one that just...

Oh, right. Birmingham and Fazeley Canal.Right.

This is where three canals meet. (LAUGHS)

Great stuff for the launch pad. The launch pad would be here.

There's something about the bleakness

and the kind of overbearing concrete structures

that are around us that...

I think they're quite powerful.

I mean, I'll probably think about this later on tonight

and have a cold sweat.

But I think, in terms of locations, it's perfect, isn't it?

We can maybe get some dignitaries down here,

to wave us off.

WOMAN: 'The government's drawing up plans

'to override parts of the Brexit withdrawal deal.

'Critics say ministers are putting EU protocol...'(MACHINE WHIRRING)

COLD WAR STEVE: We're meeting Adam,

the man who's gonna materialise our massive project,

so it'll be interesting to see him,

because I haven't got a clue how he's going to do... (LAUGHS)

..what we've got planned.

But apparently, he's the man who can.

(LAUGHS)

Hello, mate.Hello! Wahey!(ALL LAUGHING)

After you, mate.How you doing? Pretty good.

(CHUCKLING)

Hey, man, you all right? How are you?Very good.

Come in, into the office. Yeah!Excellent.

Everything OK? Yeah, excellent.

Nice to finally meet you off Zoom.

This is cool. Quiet spot, as well.

Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Cool.Great.

Yeah.That looks like a giant windbreak.

It does, doesn't it?

Something we can cover off today,

is give you a sense of scale. Mm.

How very big it's gonna feel. Mm.Mm.

Yeah, its gonna be... That's... each section is...

about ten metres? Ten metres, yeah.Yeah.

Jeez.

Has it been a bit of an engineering conundrum then,

as regards stresses from the actual weight of the thing itself?Yeah.

But also, trying to factor in weather conditions?

Everybody I've spoken to has... told me not to do it.

(LAUGHS)Not to do it. Yeah.

(ALL LAUGH) Why?

Cos you're... I mean, you're doing exactly what you...

what you shouldn't be doing on the beach, putting up something

that catches the wind.A massive sail, I suppose, isn't it?Yeah.

Have you got the design there?

This is obviously the horror side.

Yeah. And it...

Yesterday, it did make me feel quite ill.

Playing on a number of things,

so it's COVID, refugee crisis, and Brexit.

But the other side, which I haven't finished yet,

will be the complete opposite, really.

Mm-hm.This is Bournemouth 2 and Bournemouth 1.

So this is currently what we're thinking for the jigsaw.Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. This is Trumpscape.

Mm-hm. Which is already a jigsaw.

We just thought it would be amazing absolutely massive.Mm.

Barge. Barge.Yes.

We saw a very low bridge, didn't we?Very low.That-- Yeah.

But you-- you're confident that... they haven't just, like,

forgotten about that bridge at the end?(LAUGHS)

Let's say that I am confident. (LAUGHS) Yeah!

Let's act like that. Yeah.

Um... So the latest design is, when it's not up,

it's like this. Yeah.

And then that can move... (COUGHS)

..up like this.

Can I have a look in the studio? Yeah.

We should go and have a look at the samples.

Brilliant. These are all the Medway prints.

Are these the final prints? Yep.

Brilliant. Put that down...Yes!

Super Saturday! That is Super Saturday.

Lovely.

So, basically, we get these,

and make a framework to the same size.

That looks amazing. That does look good.

I mean, the idea is to have the framework and everything

as kind of utilitarian and as low-profile as possible.Yeah.

I think it's fantastic.

Not used to seeing them this size? No.

(LAUGHS)Piss Stop, A1(M). Piss Stop on the A1(M).

On the A1(M).North.

Do you reckon that was your biggest ever engaged picture on Twitter?

It was, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

That car is, um... Mussolini's.

Pissing on his own advice.

Yes! Oof!

It's really sad, isn't it, actually?

SAMIRA: I think the single most useful thing

in understand why Cold War Steve and his art

is so perfect right now, and will endure,

is because, in an age where

there's all this seething rows on social media,

and everything's moving so fast, and everything's amplified,

his artwork is somewhere peaceful where you sit and you contemplate.

And it's that deep, slow contemplation

which takes you out of the daily kind of news cycle,

and... and lets you...

just pause.

All these things shall pass.

WOMAN: 'The Chief Medical Officer has warned

'people have relaxed too much,

'causing a sharp rise in coronavirus cases across the UK.

'Nearly 6,000 new positive tests

'were reported in London two days...'

If you'd have told me a year ago

that something like this was happening,

I'd imagine, you know, months in preparation, and planning,

and various organisations to bring things and make things,

and to think that it's going to be up in, like, you know,

less than a couple of weeks... (LAUGHS)

.with just, you know, myself doing the artwork,

Carl doing the planning and stuff, and then Adam making everything,

yeah, it's... it's good.

This is where the neighbours start to ask questions.

Yeah! (LAUGHS)

(GROANING)

Bend your knees!Gaaah! Bend your fuckin' knees!

So that's a panel.

Fuck.

No fuckin' around with it, is there? (BOTH LAUGH)

At the minute, we've got the more positive imagery,

hopeful imagery, in shadow on the reverse.

Mm.So I think we might need to...

think about flipping 'em round.

So this side is the hopeful, positive imagery...Mm.

..and the inside is naturally darker.

I need to get back and get cracking.Yeah.

Cos time's a-running out. I've done the hellish side,

and that was a conscious decision, to get that side done first.

You know, it does drag you into kind of a dark place.

I got up really early Sunday morning,

and started delving into the... the piece again,

erm... and I... you know... immersing myself in it,

and then I thought, "I've gotta go to ASDA

"to get some dinner for the kids," cos my wife was at work.

Went over to ASDA and... erm...

they'd moved...

Cos they're having a refit, where the...

I went to buy pork, where the pork was, there was fruit there,

and it just started throwing me, and it was really busy,

and I... I kind of just, uh...

I had a massive, um... sort of anxiety, panic attack,

and just hid by the dog food section.

Uh... and...

was just, like, in floods of tears.

And... and I rang my wife, who left work

and turned up at ASDA in a care worker thing,

and kind of guided me out without making a scene,

and paid for what we had.

You know, I think you have to give a lot of yourself.

Years ago, at a very low ebb, on holiday, I...

And it's really bad. I intentionally walked out into the sea,

hoping that it would swallow me up.

Um... And I was walking out,

and then a piece of rope hit my leg.

And I went, "Eurggh!" and ran out.

And I always think back to that strange bit of rope.

It's just it.. probably saved me.

You know, my wife as well, I owe so much to her,

cos she's... she looks out.

She knows that I'm probably not... the best, you know, mentally,

and she'll-- she'll look out for me.

(BIRDSONG)

COLD WAR STEVE: Yes, I've got the essentials.

Deodorant, meds.

Bit apprehensive. I've not been away for this long, have I, Katie?

Um...Katie's distraught.

Oh, Hugo, though.

Hugo? I'm gonna miss the big Hugo.

Right?

(GEESE CALLING)

This is very, uh, splendid, isn't it?

It's nice. Nice!

I've officially left the house.

Let's go and meet the world.

The outside world. The outside world.

Bye, ASDA.

MAN: '..area of England to be subject to a local lockdown.

'The new restrictions coming in at midnight

'are due to a rise in coronavirus cases across the region.

'It's thought around two million people could be affected,

'in areas including County Durham, Sunderland and Newcastle...'

From the bottom, there...

Well, that's another one done.

Departed Birmingham this morning,

in this fabulous motor home.

It's very much the, um, HQ

of this tour of England that we're doing.

We're now entering my first stop, Tilbury.

And why Tilbury?

Erm, it's near to where the first exhibition is, in Medway.

Obviously, there's a lot of history, historical docks.

Erm, it's where the Windrush, Empire Windrush landed in 1948.

(SIGHS) This is the big leap into the outside world.

Hello, outside world.

(HORN BLARING)

Wahey! Ah, he did beep at me.

So, me meeting the outside world, now I'm getting a bit apprehensive.

They beep and shout. (CHUCKLES)

I spend a lot of time, uh, scrolling through photographs

of streets like this, of buildings like that.

If I put "AB" into my search drive, it comes up,

"abandoned shop, abandoned theatre, aband--"

You know, it's all... anything that's abandoned,

cos it just, you know, from an artistic point of view,

they just look great, but they also obviously convey

a perfect message of what I'm trying to get across as well.

So seeing things like this is firing up my imagination.

I think I would take affront at an artist using the backdrops

and stuff I do, if they use a backdrop that's dystopian,

just to, you know, make a picture look funny or something, but...

I use them because I was putting the people that I thought were...

were causing the most deprived areas to suffer.

I was putting these, the makers of that, into it,

so I was putting your Rees-Moggs,

and your Michael Goves, Boris Johnsons.

This is of your doing, this is of your making,

so I'd stick them in there.

A year ago, I'd have had a picture with that Stallions sign,

and then I'd put... Photoshopped that in front of it.

You know, that would have been, uh, you know...

a Cold War Steve picture in itself.

And now it's... now it's reality.

(CHUCKLES)

Tilbury Docks.

Yeah.So this is, I understand,

the exact place where Windrush docked in 1948.

Yeah. Wow.

You see the old Pathe news footage of the, erm...

people from Jamaica with, like, the... the pork-pie hats

and the suits and stuff.

And obviously, it's 70-odd years later,

where you've got people that have lived in Britain,

were born in Britain, spent their whole lives here,

and contributed so much to this country,

suddenly find themselves getting arrested

and... and... detained, uh, and... and deported.

People came here to help us out and work post-war, fill post-war jobs,

but they've done much more than that,

you know, they've enriched our whole society,

um... immeasurably.

Er... And so, really, when you look and think this is where it...

it kind of started, that's...

The borders we have are either fake,

set up by politician after wars,

or dictated by the sea.

Right? They're all fake. Right?

So I come to the terms with myself that I'm an internationalist.

Once I do that, I'm not really concerned too much

about one nation or another.

I cared about the people of Iraq

just the same as I cared about the people of England,

or I cared about the people of Azerbaijan,

just as much as I cared about the people of Nigeria.

But that's not the way people are tending to move.

People are tending to go back into their shell.

(MOTOR STARTS)

ON RADIO: 'So it's about three curves,

'so shall we get-- shall we give it a go?'

Roger, Rog.

CARL: One of the things that we did wanna do

with the locations of these four works was,

we wanted there to be, you know, a city,

and, erm, something in the countryside, and...

But, really, it was just about making sure

that we were getting a spread of places across the country.

Ideally, it would have been across the UK.

But you have to remember,

when we first started talking about this project,

it was deep in lockdown, and so at that point,

when we started to think about where we could go,

it was really, like, "Where can we go?"

You know, "What can we turn round at this time?"

I guess that's how we found ourselves here.

They've announced lockdown in the northeast.

It's not where we're going.

Uh... But I guess things are

starting to look a bit more serious everywhere again.

Er, as it stands, none of the locations that we're going to

are affected, but I think we're...

Oh, I don't know, I'm starting to worry that perhaps, you know,

it's only a matter of time

8before there's a spanner thrown in the works.(MACHINERY WHIRRING)

WOMAN: '..the emergency committee,

'including the leaders of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland,

'before making his official announcement later tonight.

'It comes after his top medical advisors

'yesterday recommended raising the alert level....

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello? Yeah, yeah. You're on loudspeaker.

MAN: 'Uh, just to sort of update you,

'there've been a few developments this morning.

'Um... So, there is I believe,

'one Tory councillor who is very upset about the artwork.

'Um, and is, I think, kicking up a little bit of a stink.'

(LAUGHS)'Um, so... it's creating a little bit of a...

'a furore, I think the word is.

'Um... And, as well, I've just been wandering around on site,

'and we've had some interesting mixed reactions.'

Mixed reactions? 'Um, ranging from lovely,

'slightly befuddled, to one guy who was very irate.

'But, yeah, just so you know.

'So that's even before we've--' Before we've even opened it,

there's tension and there's... 'Don't like to cause a...

..Tory councillors irate.

We need to get there and film, quickly, and, uh...'Yeah.'

..open it and do one! (LAUGHS)

Thanks, Mark. See you in a bit. 'OK. Bye.'Bye, bye.

Having a backlash on Twitter, you can mute or not read or...

You know, it's still quite, you know... still hurts sometimes,

but you can just put it down.

But irate people...

on their patch...

(INHALES)

Latest on Cold War Steve on Twitter,

these are tweets what people have put about my Medway thing.Right.

Already? Already.

"Art? Art?

"Where's my spray can? Political rubbish shouldn't be up there."

(LAUGHS)

Another one.

Oh, Megan's put, "I wonder, would you feel the same if...

"if it was art that agreed with your politics?

"Are we really going to try and censor art?

"What next? Music?"

"No! Art, if it's being displayed in a beautiful place

"like a country park where people go to look at nature

"should be proper!"

Capital letters. "Art.

"Landscapes! Nice things!

"Not something that looks like my grandchild did at school.

"I'm just fed up with people putting this country down all the time."

Megan's just put, "It's just pictures."

You know, this is certainly meeting the outside world full-on, isn't it?

Yeah.

You know, I'm not going to some sort of Cold War Steve Appreciation...

Society!Village hall somewhere.

Really are going fucking headlong into it, aren't I?Yeah.

Yeah.

(SIGHS) We'll see.

STEPHEN: Words have begun to fail us.

Erm, comedians and politicians and intellectuals

no longer have the language with which

to cajole and persuade people,

uh, into anything other than their entrenched positions.

It's, you know...

So it seems to me that, uh, things like paintings and, um...

and works of art like... like the sort of, uh...

the mash-ups that... that Cold War Steve, uh... gives us,

are probably the best way we have of just inspecting ourselves.

I always talk about, um...

collagist John Heartfield,

who was doing his anti-Nazi stuff in Nazi Germany,

and how, you know, what he did, it was brave,

and what I do isn't brave.

Cos I'm sat behind a screen.

I'm not comparing me going to Medway now as being brave,

or comparing it to John Heartfield,

but it's given me a little taster of, uh...

of the dangers involved in, uh...

in being a satirist.

I think satires here, I mean, in any normal situation...

the cut and thrust of politics is kind of enjoyable.

But it's not if it's chaos.

It makes you feel frightened.

And that's why people end up sort of huddling together

and not wanting to look at this sort of stuff,

because it makes them feel uncomfortable.

And its job is to make you feel uncomfortable.

That's why particularly Cold War Steve nails it,

because he can conjure a sort of image,

a feeling of what it's like,

especially when we're told it's all sunlit uplands

and, erm, world-beating and everything,

and just with the careful choice of the right sort of high street,

or, um, cafe interior,

he sort of makes you think, "Yeah, that's what Britain's really like.

"Shit." (LAUGHS)

Just pulling into the... country park.

Looking for placards, looking for...

burning crosses.

Bedsheets hastily painted with some sort of slogan.

Feeling nervous? Little bit.

(SIGHS)

MAN: '..restriction within part of West Yorkshire and the Midlands,

'with a ban on socialising with people

'outside of households and bubbles, in private homes and gardens.

'Earlier on, the Health Secretary...'(BIRDS CALLING)

CARL: I was, um, just chatting to Jason.

COLD WAR STEVE: Mm. And, uh...

I don't think he was wanting to really...

get into it, particularly,

because obviously, we're sort of fighting

a little bit of a... small fire, here.(LAUGHS)

But he was, uh, telling me that there might be some beef

with Bournemouth. Oh, for fuck's sake.Yeah.

The new head of the council there was voted in this week,

and everything has to go through him.Oh, God.

I think he requested the artwork. (LAUGHS)

Or, his office has requested the artwork.

And have they seen the artwork? I think they have, yeah.

They asked us if they could, uh...

put a hold on the promotional activity for the time being.

(LAUGHS) Sounds ominous.

Does, doesn't it? That's gonna be, uh...

censorship.

Yup.

(WIND GUSTING)

Murdoch's still standing.

Hasn't had anything thrown at it.

That's good.

Everywhere's kicking off, now.

Now they've realised what it is that I do! (LAUGHS)

Oh, I hope we get to put Bournemouth up.

Even if it's just for... (LAUGHS) just for an hour.

Hooray! Super Saturday!

Looks good! Looks great, mate.

Looks great, there, doesn't it?

Art? Art?

Why don't we put a Constable Hay Wain there?

Yeah. Wonder if anyone's clocked, uh...

Shipman discussing tactics with, uh, Hancock.

Learning from the master!

You know, very strong opinions

and anxieties that I channel into my art.

I mean, no one could have a problem with this.

Apart from Farage.

Carl? Are they friendly? Hello.

Yeah, yeah, they are, yeah. We are. We don't bite.Yeah.

These... I'm sorry, I've forgotten your names already.

No, that's all right. I'm Imogen and this is Laura.

Hi.And we're... we work for Medway 2025 City of Culture bid.Oh!

Nice to meet you. Welcome. Nice to meet you.

It's nice to get a friendly welcome.

There's some tension about the artwork, apparently.

Um...Oh, really?Yeah?Really?

There's been some really good stuff on Twitter.

Has there?People... Yeah.Yeah, we've seen some good reactions.

So, like, especially, like, on the Medway2025 hashtag, as well,

people are saying this is the best thing to happen to Medway all year.

So...Great.Yeah. There are friendly people.

Is this the grand revealing? Well, yes.

Yeah.Yeah.In a low-key way. Yeah.(LAUGHTER)

I hereby unveil the final piece of the Medway exhibition.

(CHUCKLES) They've really shrink-wrapped this one well.

But it's a good spot for, um, contemplation, I think.

Uh, which...

This is definitely the hardest-hitting one.

Um, there's no comedy in this one whatsoever.

This is proper angry, full-on protest art.

Um...

When you just think of the hatred towards these fellow human beings,

and the complete lack of compassion that there is at the moment...

So I hope people just stop and contemplate it, really.

MAN: Don't know how well it's gonna go down in these parts,

but, uh, hopefully, I mean, some people might see, sort of,

things for what they really are, uh, perhaps.

MAN 2: The art here asks so many questions,

it's almost a time capsule of what was happening at that time,

it's a commentary on a lot of social issues,

which maybe, for some people, are quite hard to take.

Just had word that, uh, the council have met,

and it's all fine.

Bournemouth?No, here.Oh,here?

They've agreed that the artwork should stay up.

They stand by their decision.

In their words, all publicity is good publicity.

And the two that really caused the issues

was Priti...

uh, that was the one that's been flagged up

as being the most offensive, inappropriate...

Upsetting, I think, was a word that was used.

Um, but the other one, A1 Piss Stop.

Really?Dominic Cummings having a piss,

apparently, is more upsetting and offensive than...

a mass grave. A mass grave.Yeah.

They're more offended by lewd behaviour...Oh!

..than they are by the idea... By the meaning or comment.

Yeah.

They're realistic. Um...

I wonder if it's part photograph and something else there.

There's a guy there in the water

and all these boats around him,

they're like ducklings, you might have said.

Yes, it's something to do with the COVID-19,

and perhaps Harold Shipman and his, um, previous history

of... eliminating the elderly and the frail.

Not my form of art, put it that way. (LAUGHS)

I don't know if the artist has funded this himself,

but if it's taxpayers' money and council tax,

I'm a bit disappointed to think that they haven't got better things

to spend their money on, to be quite honest.

Very political, very interesting.

I think we agreed with its sentiments, so yeah, it's great.

It's really fascinating. We haven't got round to the others yet.

so we're gonna go and have a look.

What's your thoughts? Yeah, the same, really,

I thought it was quite... shocking, but it was good.

I was really pleasantly surprised

to find that we had Cold War Steve coming to Medway.

All I can imagine is that the, uh...

the councillors and the administration

had never heard of him, cos I'm pretty certain

that he's skewering quite a few of their heroes,

and I don't think they would take too kindly to it

if they had realised just what they were letting themselves in for.

So as we film, um... this piece called The Wave is...

or, The Second Wave, is unfortunately...

proving to be rather prescient of me.

I think this is my favourite spot of the whole exhibition walk.

Nice bench where you can sit and quietly contemplate the artwork.

Generally, cos it's on a phone and people...

it's very much scrolling and pinching and zooming

and, um... you can't sit down and properly contemplate it

as you can here with this.

It's the anti-white wall gallery,

because there's not a white wall there,

there's, uh... the beautiful Medway,

with some beautiful industrial action on the horizon, as well.

We see a lot of artists creating glossy images

built for social media, which then don't work offline.

The difference with Cold War Steve is that his works,

they're great online, but when you see them in the flesh,

they evoke quite an emotional response in the viewers.

We've seen that in terms of how

people have been responding on Twitter.

Erm, you can see then in Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery,

hanging alongside Pre-Raphaelite masterpieces, where they belong.

Hey, good, how are you? (LAUGHS)

Good, man. Looks great.

Yeah.Everything looks great. Yeah.Nice day for it.

Yeah. How's your reactions been?

Positive.

Good. Yeah. Mo-- Yeah.

Better than expected.

Certainly, whenever I do bump into people,

speak to people,

I see no evidence of the hatred, and the bitterness,

and the impatience, and the resentment, and the anger,

all the negative and horrible things

that are exhibited on social media.

It's as if, um... rather than social media being a mirror

or... or a representation,

it's a kind of... strange portal

into an anti-matter version of society.

MAN: '..are against us.

'But now, going into the seasons late autumn and winter,

'which benefit respiratory viruses, I think it's very...'

September 23rd... 2020.

Meeting the outside world.

Here we find ourselves...

with a backdrop of test and trace tents.

(MAN CHUCKLES) Managed by Serco.

How they can get any contract...

There doesn't seem to be any test and trace going on.

I think the guy under the umbrella having a fag

is the embodiment of the test and trace system. (LAUGHTER)

The whole test and trace area

basically consists of folorn-looking men under umbrellas.

(LAUGHTER)

There's a train here. I wonder if our man's on it.

It's Positive Carl. (MAN LAUGHS)Hello.

Hello.

CARL: Today, we were supposed to be loading in at whatever time,

seven am this morning.

The crew, the trucks, all the plant hire,

everything was going down last night.

And then, literally, as they were about to set off,

got a phone call to say that the new head of the council

had withdrawn permission.

So, at the very last minute, we had to...

put everything on hold.

What's the latest? What's the update?

Have you got any good news from Bournemouth?

ADAM ON PHONE:

Has there been any talk about how it's going to be covered over?

OK, mate. Well, you know,

I'm really hoping we don't have to go down this route.

All right, Carl. Cheers, mate.

Chris, take care. Cheers, mate.

Bye. Bye.

(SIGHS)

Fucking black paint.

This is from Councillor Howell. Councillor Howell.

"I have decided to withdraw permission

"for the Cold War Steve artwork for the following reasons.

"The artwork portrays Bournemouth, and, therefore, its citizens,

"in a negative light.

"We were given no indication that it would...

"that it would reference Bournemouth,

"not does Cold War Steve's previous work available online.

"The artwork was misrepresented to us.

"We knew it would have a subversive element,

"but were told it would be playful

"and in line with Cold War Steve's previous images.

"There is nothing playful about the dystopian image.

"It is hard-hitting political content.

"And the council should not promote or be perceived promoting

"particular political viewpoints.

"The artist is free to promote his work

"through multiple commercial channels,

"so this is not an issue of censorship.

"We do not feel..." Yes it fucking is.

"We do not feel that Cold War Steve

"has shown enough respect for the town's residents,

"who have done nothing to be singled out for this treatment."

(LAUGHS) People on the dark side have no connection to Bournemouth.

Is there anyone local to Bournemouth on the dark side?No!

I mean, maybe... No.No.

(TRUCK BLEEPING)

(GROANS)

It's still exciting.

Just to think that I'm responsible for all these people digging

and putting massive concrete things into the sand.

And... and this huge...

I will never do anything on a scale like this again, I don't think.

But then, frustrating that...

people may not be able to see...

I mean, it'll be nice to see the one side, anyway.

But it is one piece of artwork that has two sides.

I've not come here just to do a really positive piece

on... on Bournemouth.

So I suppose the elephant in the room is the covering of one side.

Yeah.Well, we talked about draping it.

But if you put a... a wool, or even a cotton drape on it,

it gets wet,

and then it increases the load on the structure.

Yeah, yeah.Right.So it needs to be like a rubble bag.

Right.You know, it's slightly thicker plastic.OK.

It's not bin bag material, it's thicker.Right! (LAUGHS)

Brilliant. Really ugly.

Good. Good! (LAUGHS)

There's been a bit of a delay in getting the posts in.

It's the highest tide for 18 years.

That hole is about two metres deep. Shit.

Or it was when we dug it. That's not rain or anything?No.

It's water table. And it's coming up.Shit.

So there's a double jeopardy situation going on, almost,

in that Councillor Howell wants to put a stop to it,

but nature may put a stop to it anyway.

WOMAN: '..further 6,874 people have tested positive for coronavirus

'across the UK in the latest daily statistics.

'It's another record figure, but officials say

'that is partly because of an increase in testing.

'A woman...'

CARL: I'm looking for shells,

trying to chill out.

Yesterday, we weren't sure it was gonna go up.

I think they're about a day behind, so, erm...

it's sort of all systems go to try and get it up today.

Now we've got the piece going up with one side covered,

and it's starting another interesting conversation,

I suppose.

Not necessarily a conversation we wanted to have, at all, really.

But I guess that's the difference

between Chris banging these things up on Twitter

and dealing with local councils, arts festivals,

er, construction permissions, engineers, all of the other stuff.

It's a bit... it's a bit of a jump, to say the least.

Now I can see the posts going in, and...

had time to reflect on everything,

to have one side, the main side that's facing people walking past,

to have that covered, I think adds to it,

a certain intrigue into it. Yeah, yeah.

People are going to want to know what that image is.

You know, it's just human nature to be curious.

So I think it will perhaps end up making the image...

seen by more people.

I've got a few days to get the Coventry giant postcard done,

so I was working on a few ideas last night,

but I need this out of the way first,

cos it's just all-consuming, isn't it?

(# GLOCKENSPIEL PLAYING)

The only censorship I've dealt with before

is my own self-censorship.

Yeah.Um... And that's... you know...

If I feel particularly strongly about an issue,

and I-- I do a really angry piece,

I never sort of press "Send" immediately.

I always walk away from it and just let it, um...

let... you know, consider it a bit more,

particularly if...

if I'm using... to make... to bring the point home,

if I end up resorting to using,

you know, like, Hitler, or Mussolini, erm...

you know, I don't use... use them lightly.

OMID: I... I've never seen anything that's made me think,

"Ooh, that's a bit too much."

Cold War Steve is probably right on the edge

of what is acceptable or not,

because he always keeps it funny.

I think that's the line for me, is it funny?

Cos sometimes, if you just make a statement...

In comedy clubs, if people just make a statement,

and they raise their fists, you think, "Where's the art in that?"

The art is in the funny.

CARL: BBC News have run with,

"Cold War Steve... Bournemouth beach artwork covered up.

"An artist said he was disappointed

"his work will not be shown in its entirety

"after objections from the council.

"His latest work, a 25-metre curved windbreak

"on Boscombe beach, Bournemouth, is his biggest yet.

"But only one side of it will be shown."

And then they've put both bits clearly up on the site.

They've shown the whole-- Yeah.The site?

Both sides.

(LAUGHS)No stress.So the-- BBC, totally cool with it.

BBC have shown both sides.

"Cold War Steve said the censored part deals with

"the dark underbelly of our society."It said "censored"?

"The censored part", yeah. It's in there.(LAUGHS)

Uh... "movements of intolerance, hatred and division,

"issues that should never be ignored, let alone covered up."

There you go. It's out. That's good. It's good.

It's out, it's out there.

Let's retweet that one.

So, I suppose we're here to talk about, obviously,

the art that's being erected on Bournemouth beach.

Just wanted to get your views on why you found it necessary

to censor the... the piece.

Yeah. This is... this is a really difficult decision for me.

I had a sleepless night over it.

Um, particularly because I do have a background in...

in photojournalism, documentary photography.

But at the end of the day, we were promised a piece that was playful,

uh, in line with the artist's previous work,

and... and the dystopian side of the image that was proposed,

and we saw very late in the process,

is a very hard-hitting political piece.

You know, it includes Nazi salutes.

It... I... I just felt that it had gone over...

over the boundary of what would be perceived to be acceptable

in, you know, a public area like this.

It's gonna be covered, is it? Have you heard about that?

Well, I just read that there. It's absolutely ridiculous.

I think if it was poking fun directly at the town, maybe...

you could have an argument for trying to do

a bit of local censorship, but even then,

there's nothing on there that is outrageous.

(WOMAN LAUGHS) I think it's funny! MAN: Yeah, it's funny.

I think we're big enough, old enough

and wise enough to make up our own minds.

WOMAN: Is that Harold Shipman? MAN: Yeah, it is.

It is! (LAUGHS)

Oh, my goodness. It's a bit controversial, isn't it?

MAN: ..him driving... Carrying Putin? (LAUGHS)

I'm glad I got to see it, then, before it gets covered up. (LAUGHS)

The job of art is to provoke, is to...

uh... is to unsettle, it's to entertain,

it's all these things at once.

So it's... it's very important to have that.

Thank you, that's brilliant. (LAUGHS)

CARL: Chris is the artist. Oh, you're Cold War Steve?

Cold War Steve, yeah. It's incredible.Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Like, it's amaz--

I've just seen it on Twitter and I was like, "I've gotta dash down."

The fact that you've got all of the...

You know, the brilliance and beauty of Bournemouth,

you've got the Cherries, football fans in there.That's it, yeah.

You've got... Buster Merryfield's a big part of this town.

Yes! (LAUGHS)

And then you've got the rise of fascism.

Why would you cover it up? Because, what, it's making people talk?

To me, people need to talk. This is a time to talk.

Absolutely.About every single thing that's going on in the world.

I'm relieved that I've got to see it up.

I thought earlier today "I just want to see it for five minutes.

"Let me see it up. Let me see it in all its glory." Which I've done.

But then if I arrive here tomorrow morning, it's covered up, I...

Yeah, that's... I don't know. It's gonna be very sad.

Very sad.

It's the morning after the day of the reveal.

First chance to look at it and take stock, really.

After a few, uh... fraught days,

here we are on a peaceful morning, here in Bournemouth,

looking at the positive side radiating in the sunshine.

It looks great, but, um... obviously the... the other side,

which is literally in shadows,

is getting covered up as we speak,

so that's the one disappointing thing, but...

But it is brilliant to see it up.

All the attention has been on the forbidden side.

But this side is the positive vision of Britain,

which is what I always enjoy doing, ones like this.

And as always with these pieces, I do a lot of research,

um... of the local area.

So there's a businesswoman that gives out curries to homeless,

there's, um, nurses, and Bournemouth FC mascots,

uh, Bournemouth Pride flag,

all mixed in with a big welcome mat.

Which obviously, I think it's pretty obvious why I've put that there.

And there's also a lot of people

that came to this country as a refugee

that have obviously gone on to benefit our country immeasurably.

And then the black and white characters there

are from the Kindertransport,

when Britain welcomed thousands of Jewish children from Nazi Germany.

Um, you know, that's the Britain that I wanted to represent here.

Um, but it needs that other side to... to really spell out...

um, the message that I'm trying to put across.

WOMAN: Look, it's even got what's his name up there,

from, um, Only Fools and Horses.

Uncle. (MAN LAUGHS)

WOMAN 2: That's life. WOMAN 3: Mmm.

Definitely good representation of English life, you know.

Even down to the old Caribbean jerk chicken in there.There's Mo.

(LAUGHS) Mo Farah.

Yeah. Oh, well. Carnival. It's good representation.

WOMAN: We ideally would have presented the work

as it was intended to be seen by the artist,

so we would have shown both sides,

but as a local authority run and part-funded festival,

we have to find that really difficult balance

between what we would ideally want to programme

and the views of the elected members

who represent the people who live here.

So it's a... you know, it's a balance that we have to find.

We're really pleased that we can show both sides of the piece

on our website, so people can make up their own mind.

Um... But it's certainly great that we can host it here

as part of the festival,

and that it is creating debate,

and, you know, it's getting people talking.

If you put an art installation up and black it out,

what does that say about the council?

Why are you doing this? This is an arts festival.

It's about, don't have censorship.

Your opinion is your opinion.

I've been in... uh, working with culture for 30 years,

and I can't recall an occasion

where an artwork has been censored

or covered in this way.

And I think it's an extraordinary reflection

of the times that we're in.

that we... we've lost our tolerance

to the... to the extent where...

politicians will cover an artwork.

As we've been going around trying to get... the work on...

there have been these reactions pretty much in every location.

Online, some people have said, "Well, if it's a complete artwork,

"you shouldn't have put it up at all."

But at least now, it's been up,

it's been... shown, albeit for a short time,

but... I think it's got more people talking,

so I think it was the right decision just to go ahead with it.

MAN: '..reports of legal action against the government

'over its plans to tear up part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement

'signed last year.'

WOMAN: 'This draft bill is, by its very nature,

'a breach of...'

MAN: Will you have it finished by the end of the day?

Uh... yeah.

Do you ever get bored doing this?

No.

It's really therapeutic, I think.

What would you do if you weren't doing this, then?

Boozing.

That's, like, my only hobby.

Do you like boozing on your own?

Yep. Any bar would do?

No, always in the house. Cheaper.

I mean, it was just, erm... self-medicating, isn't it? You know.

Self-medicating from what, though?

Depression, mainly.

Do... do you kind of... understand why you were depressed?

I guessed it was clinical depression, really.

There was no...

there was no trigger or anything like that.

Every suicide ideation or thoughts of self-harm

were fuelled by alcohol.

Mm.You know?

Do you still have suicide ideation?

No. I...

I don't, actually. Cos I used to...

sort of fantasise about getting blown up

on the bus on the way to work.

You just end up thinking that... you know, "Is this it?"Mm.

Just shit jobs, no money.

And then I tried... went in the... shed,

and... strung myself up with a belt.

Mm.

Erm... That didn't work, thankfully.

Walked into the sea... There was a few... times.Mm.

I look back and I just...

It's... it's odd.

Cos people always say, "Oh, that's selfish. You've got kids. Or..."

Mm.But at that moment, you don't think straight, do you?

No.You're not thinking right, you just wanna just stop...

Mm. Stop everything.

I always say Cold War Steve saved me.Mm.

I mean, seeing these fuckers,

I would have to drink to fucking... block them out.Yeah.

I couldn't... I can't cope with it.

This morning, we're having a day trip to Barnard Castle.

A pilgrimage to the site of one of the biggest examples

of contempt for the British public ever displayed.

So, I was having some messages with Les Dennis last night,

so we've arranged to meet him this afternoon at three o'clock.

Look, that is... that's the scene!

Ladies and gentlemen, you've arrived at Barnard Castle.

I can understand why Dominic Cummings

felt the need to test his eyes here.

Very picturesque.

(BIRDSONG)

Don't think I've been to an actual location

of one of my pictures before.

I need to get the date. So, there's a Cummings Day,

and all of Barnard Castle descend here and... and dance.

# Dominic Cummings broke lockdown rules

# His noble quest to test his eyes

# Dominic Cummings came to Barnard Castle

# He was only doing what any good father would do #

(LAUGHS)

It seems fitting, really, to visit the location

where the anger was completely fired.

It triggered, for me, the most inspirational period, I think.

You know, I was doing stuff about Brexit and the charlatans in charge.

I was doing it, you know, for ages.

But it was at that moment, I think, that...

that... a lot of people thought, "You know what? Fuck this."

MAN: 'Coronavirus restrictions in northern England

'are going to include Liverpool, Warrington,

'Hartlepool and Middlesbrough.

'It means, from Saturday, people will be limited

'when it comes to socialising between different households.'

BORIS JOHNSON: 'The more people follow the rules,

'and reduce their social contact,

'the quicker we can get Liverpool and the northeast back on...'

Last time we were up in Liverpool,

we were, um... that way, in Albert Dock,

which is where we went and did the site visit,

and then we found out that, um,

permission wasn't going to be granted.

We had to supply the artwork,

and it went to the board of the Albert Dock,

so there's obviously some sort of, like,

private, commercial sort of angle to that area.

Uh, and a load of people got to have a say, basically,

on whether it was going to be in there or not.

And I think it was three out of four of the board members

said it wasn't appropriate,

they didn't want artwork of a political nature, erm...

sat where it was gonna be.

So we were once again finding ourselves without a home.

So, uh, yeah, we ended up over-- back over here, which is...

amazing, actually.

Could not be more Liverpool if you tried.

We're, you know, smack bang at the bottom of the Liver Building.

Uh, River Mersey, just there.

In between the two. So, yeah, we lucked out.

That is amazing.

I think the twin axis, if you like,

of being kicked out at the last possible moment,

having to find a new location,

and the backdrop of the worsening COVID situation,

has made it very, very challenging.

So we're really lucky to be here.

We're very, very grateful to the great city of Liverpool.

CARL: So, yeah, up until eight o'clock last night,

we didn't know quite, 100 percent, where we were gonna be in the city.

Two weeks in a row, it's been a little bit hairy.

You all right, guys?Hi. We're not in trouble, are we?

No, no, no. Come to finish it for you.(ALL LAUGH)

ADAM: Experts!

Thank God, you see? We want more from the experts.

Even the traffic wardens are nice. Yeah! (LAUGHS)

MAN: It's just talking about the current situation that we're in.

It's different parts of the right wing,

like, uh, Donald Trump is on there,

Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage.

Uh, Adolf Hitler, Dominic Cummings. Thanks, lads.

See you later, mate. Have a good day.Cheers.

You too, mate, have a good day.

CARL: Embarrassingly, we've got Les Dennis stood over there.

Oh, right, OK. And we've got no artist.

Oh.I mean, in fairness, Les is ten minutes early.

So, um... True professional.

Excited? Yes!

Here's the man.

Sorry, Les. (LAUGHTER) How you doing? You all right?

Yeah.Nice one.Thanks for coming. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you at last! Properly, yeah.

Great work, I love it. Thank you!

I got put onto your work by my, um...

I don't know whether you know Connor McIntyre?

He's one of the Coronation Street characters.Oh, right! (LAUGHS)

You know Phelan? Yeah, yeah.

And he's an artist, you know. Oh, yes?

So he said, "Oh, this guy's great." And I got into your stuff,

and then I rang him up and said, "I'm in one!"You're...

(BOTH LAUGH) You're on a plane with Trump.A plane with Trump.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

WOMAN: All right, Les? WOMAN 2: You OK?

Oh, yeah. How you doing? Take care.

You've got to give me a clue, come and help me.

That is Trump.

He's unbelievably quiet, though.

He's not saying anything. Yeah!

Well, you see... Makes a change.

He knows if he comes to Liverpool, people'll have a go back.

Well, thanks, Les. Great. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.I really enjoyed that.That was brilliant.

I'm absolutely thrilled to be part of it.

I think your work is amazing. Oh, thank you. Great.

SAMIRA: In an age where there's actually a lot of words out there,

um... including by politicians

who have their own social media feeds--

"Ask Boris", "Ask Rishi Sunak"...

this response of his actually kind of cuts through that

in a way that, 30 years ago,

Spitting Image was genuinely dynamic,

because we weren't seeing people satirised that way.

An it strikes me that its moment was 30 years ago,

and the moment now is Cold War Steve's.

MAN: '..President Trump has tweeted,

'saying that he and the First Lady

'have tested positive for COVID-19.

'Let's go straight to Los Angeles and our US correspondent...'

Come with me.

Welcome to my... supersized Trumpscape jigsaw.

Couldn't be more pertinent, this particular piece of work,

um, which is all about Trump's America,

in the age of COVID-19.

So, I mean, we'll start with the Trump section.

The monstrous, grotesque man himself.

And he's imbibing, uh, toilet cleaner.

Here we've got our anti-maskers,

with Trump fucking spewing his bile and shit everywhere.

Uh, an old favourite of mine, Steve Bannon.

Infiltrator of governments worldwide.

Good friends with people like Nigel Farage

and Boris Johnson as well.

Richard Branson.

The amount of money he's got, you know,

why is he seeing taxpayer bailout for...

for what everyone is, you know, enduring?

So he's on there with his pile of cash.

Because it's a stark dystopian image, Trumpscape,

I did want chinks of positivity.

I made what I called the good boat.

You know, just people that were saying positive things,

and very much anti-Trump rhetoric from them.

And then, reference to our own NHS, you know, key workers.

And then, on the horizon, everything is going to be all right.

Harold Bishop parps his tuba of hope.

You can't quite hear it, but it's there in the distance.

So, even though I did this probably four months ago,

nothing's changed, so this, early days of lockdown,

and here we are now, on the brink of another lockdown.

It has made things a bit eerie, uh...

There's not... not as many people, perhaps, have come to see it.

I mean, a lot of people have. But, um...

I suppose it all adds to the atmosphere of the piece, doesn't it?

I've noticed there you can see, um...

Enoch Powell, Farage, and Hitler.

I'm thinking Thatcher should be in with that lot.

It just sums up what's wrong with the world, I think.

All these people, these men, have got so much power,

and they've abused it.

That's my opinion, anyway.

Erm, you know, you've got Hitler with Farage.

That is so apt.

Erm... There's just...

The people who could change the world in so many ways,

they've got wealth, you've got Bezos there,

you've got Trump, you've got, er, Richard Branson.

They could change the world for the good, and they're not.

They're abusing their own...

the money and the power that they've got.

WOMAN: '..20 flood alerts in place,

'the weather forecasters are warning of persistent, heavy rain

'throughout the day as Storm Alex hist the country.'

Storm Alex has, uh... has arrived.

Um, and that's been the only...

stormy feature of my time in Liverpool.

I think, out of all of them so far, it's been my favourite, um...

one to... to take part in and visit and be involved in.

It's just been, compared to the others,

such a breeze to install and to just be around.Mm.

It's just been wonderful.

From the beginning, I've been worried

that we're gonna suddenly have to stop filming,

because it's...

It just seems it's just closing in on us.

Two people said that they got the ferry,

um, from New Brighton, actually, to come and see the work today.

And when they boarded the ferry to come and see it,

they were asked if their journey was essential,

erm... and they said, "Bloody right it is.

"I'm going to see Cold War Steve's jigsaw!"

Uh... It... You know, a race to the line.

Yeah.Get the piece in Coventry,

um... before, you know, total lockdown or whatever happens.

MAN: 'COVID cases are rising sharply,

'and governments across Europe are ratcheting up the controls

'on our everyday lives.

'But some scientists from the UK and elsewhere

'have now signed the great...'

(LAUGHTER)

Here in the wonderful Spaghetti Junction,

for the launch of the final Cold War Steve Meets the Outside World piece.

So, the final artwork is a giant postcard,

and in the true spirit of meeting the outside world,

instead of sending a tweet which is instantly read,

this is, a... old-school analogue... postcard

that's being delivered to Coventry on a barge.

Aah, and there's the barge.

I actually completed the artwork a week ago,

if not less than that.

And at that time, it was when there was a lot of protest

against, um, masks and COVID and...

you know, how COVID is just a conspiracy.

So I wanted to have that on there,

and also, obviously, something to do with

the government's handling of the coronavirus.

Where's the skipper? CARL: Where is the skipper?

Good to meet you, skipper.

Hello, how are you? Yeah! Ahoy.

How you doing? (LAUGHS) Yeah, I'm good, thanks.

Thank you so much for doing this. It's all right. It's been great.

It's been a brilliant trip here. I've had a great time.(LAUGHS)

To launch the vessel, we've got

someone who's actually appearing in the artwork,

and I've also got a couple of showbiz pals coming along,

hopefully, as well.

Robert Kilroy-Silk used to end every show of Kilroy with,

"Take care of yourselves."

That's where it's from.

Who are you gonna address it to?

The outside world, I'm gonna address it to.

Aah! Here's Dominic Cummings!

Carl's having to escort him,

because of, uh, his terrible eyesight, of course.

You all right, Dom?

I christen this vessel... (LAUGHS)

..in the name of Dominic Cummings.

May you have a safe journey to Coventry,

as Britain will be safe!

God bless.

(LAUGHS)

Special guest appearance by...

Ant and Dec!

Hi, fellas!

See ya later, lads.

Thanks for coming down, fellas.

First time ever on a barge. Yeah, me too.

Me too.

Last week, first time building a jigsaw.

It's just full of firsts.

Right next to the Spaghetti Junction and the M6. (SIREN WAILING)

Ahoy! Hello, there!

That's a great setup!

It's weird, I used to walk down this canal

with my eldest child in a buggy,

from where we lived to Sainsbury's down there.

There's probably still a few empty bottles of wine hidden.

Yep. First lock action.

But I tell you want. Locks are analogue, aren't they?

Locks are old-school.

Much like the postcard.

MAN: Hello?

First maisonette that me and Kate rented is that end one there,

on the ground floor. Wow.

When Isabel, our oldest... eldest daughter was born,

that's where we took her back to.

Never would I have thought that, in, like, 15 years' time,

I would be sending a giant postcard down the canal.

That's it, go now, go now.

(GRINDING)

Lovely bit of work, Chris.

OMID: The whole point of being a stand-up comedian,

if you wanna do satire, is to say what people are thinking

but would never dare say.

What Cold War Steve does,

he does it so economically, with one image,

and because people have that connection

with making collages at school,

you see it and you think, "Oh, my God. This is--

"I'm used to this. It's a very familiar artform."

And the messages are immediate.

And the point is, anybody could do it.

What Banksy does, anybody could do.

But the genius is they've actually got up and done it.

Why have you got, um...

He's the one from, um, the band, what's it called?

What band is it?The Stone Roses. The Stone Roses.Yes.

And that's... I recognise that one. David... Icke.

Oh, yes. Is he still around? It's very clever.

I don't know. It's brilliant.He's the artist.

And that... Who's that guy? He's, uh... Right Said Fred.Yes!

Yes!Look, she's right on it! I'm right on it.

Oh, we know who that is. (LAUGHS)

(WIND GUSTING)

We were just wondering what the update was with Coventry?

I understand maybe it's become a bit stricter, all of a sudden.

MAN ON PHONE:

Just to be clear, then, what aren't we allowed to do?

In theory, what are they saying we cannot do?

(ENGINE CHUGGING)

MAN: I like the idea that Cold War Steve

could be a socio-political commentator

as well as an artist.

Art can be the hymns that are in a church,

as much as it can be the postcard on the barge

from Birmingham to Coventry.

Both of them are transporting messages

that they want the community to hear.

It's really strange, this is.

I've just finished a piece, big sculptural piece,

uh... which is based on the Ship of Fools.

Yeah? Which has...

exactly the same characters in, plus Rees-Mogg.

So, uh, it's very, very funny, that is.

Ooh, quarantine rave!

(LAUGHS)

Who's the one underneath?

Oh, it's Cummings! He's-- (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHING)

What's happening? You know how Coventry

was supposed to be really...

easy and... Straightforward?Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

They don't want you in the, uh...

They don't want you in the Basin.

They're saying that the, uh...

They don't want the boat, or me, or...

They don't want the artwork in the Basin.In the Basin?

They don't want it displayed in the Basin.

Er, if the boat goes into the Basin,

the artwork has to be covered over. (LAUGHS)

(GROANS) Oh, man.

Yeah.

Come on, then.

Maybe they're all fans of Right Said Fred.

Hey, look at this.

It's brilliant, mate. Fantastic.

Yeah, celebrations are in order.

All right, cheers, mate. Cheers, mate.

Bye. Let's hear the good news?

Good news. The cultural department have done a U-turn,

and have basically said,

"We'd like you to take the boat into the Basin,

"where people can attend and have a look at the artwork."

Whooo! Yes!

For the first time, I feel wanted.

Welcomed. Which is nice.

Cos, like I said, this isn't, you know...

This isn't nasty and cynical. It's not gonna distress anybody.

MAN ON PHONE: 'Hello?' CARL: Hey, Julian, how are you?

'I'm good, thanks.'We've just been on a boat for the last two hours,

so we haven't got a clue what's going on.

Do I take it, from an announcement point of view--

obviously, we've been quite coy

about the fact we're gonna be ending in Coventry this week.

Are we-- Is there any change with that?

You know, can we say we're gonna be there?

Mmm.

Right.

OK.Fine. All right. 'Yeah.'

OK.No, that's fair enough.

MAN: '..number of positive cases in England has been rising

'for over a month,

'and the latest set of weekly data from NHS Test and Trace

'shows no sign of this upward trend halting...'

Cold War Steve Meets the Outside World.

Takes on a bit of an Odyssey now.

It's actually the first time I've come to Nuneaton

since I was at art college.

Nunueaton itself can be quite dispiriting.

But, um... nice people. Not the art college,

going to art college.No, the art college was... was good.

Fun. Yep.

What made you want to go to art college?

It was always the one thing that I was sort of good at.

You know, when kids are good at something?Yeah.

Mine was art and impressions.

And when you left... Did you pursue the degree?

Yeah. Um...

But what went wrong?

I, uh...

I don't... I think at that age, I wasn't...

I dunno, probably not mature or focused enough,

I don't think, to be honest.

Just fucking... I don't know, it's a really odd time, really.

Um... didn't know what I wanted to do.

I just fucked around and then got hideously in debt.

And then it started a career of, uh...

factory work and, you know...

Back to art? Horrible jobs.

And it's a shame, cos my nan, who died a few years ago,

she was the one who was always trying to get me to do art.

She was... she'd, you know, buy me the equipment,

take me to galleries and, um...

Her last sort of memories of me is...

sort of being a low-paid road worker...

uh, with a drink problem, uh, and...

like, going to her and asking her for a loan.

It's a step that I was really dubious about.

And you know, would my work transfer to something big?

And they've looked great. Yeah.I've ab--

Yeah. Really pleased with how everything's gone,

and I think that's given me a lot of confidence

to say, "Yeah, I am an artist."

I am...

a goddamn artist.

There's a-- a thing that all artists yearn for,

which is an instantly recognisable style.

You can immediately say, "That's Cold War Steve."

And it's funny, I mean, it usually makes you smile.

You're not quite sure why. It's not saying...

It's not rude.

It's not abusive.

And yet, it has a... a...

a strength to it, it has a kind of resonant anger

that... that you can't easily forget.

Cold War Steve's images now really have a visceral power.

It speaks to now, and that's what makes great satire.

It's not worried about the future.

Um, and they're beautiful.

I mean, you could just stare at them for hours.

It's that combination of Where's Wally?

something quite childlike,

with, you know, the kind of great mediaeval artworks.

I think Chris-- uh, Cold War Steve, has...

has done something that's unique.

And he does make me laugh.

And he makes me laugh and think at the same time.

To me, this is like a breath of artistic, political fresh air.

So this is the fucking bridge? This is the bridge there.

Is it that small? It looks small! (LAUGHS)

That's the bridge.Yeah, we're not gonna get through there.

Yeah. Bridge number one. (GROANS)

Nice one. Hold on!

Forwards...

(GROANING)

Steady on. Yeah.

Got loads of room to play with!

What was everybody worried about? What was... Yeah!

"We'll never get through!

"It'll be the last thing that stops us getting to Coventry Canal!"

# We don't know any more #

Good! Turned up.

Hello, Coventry!

It's a triumphant moment,

being able to bring this giant postcard into Coventry,

but it's tinged with sadness that the journey is over,

and I must once again recoil into my cocoon,

get back up into the loft,

turn on the computer... Make sure that it's you.(LAUGHS)

The material is gonna keep flooding in,

so I've gotta keep working.

Um, but this has been an amazing experience,

meeting the outside world.

But now, I must go.

Ladies and gentlemen, Cold War Steve is leaving the outside world.

# Now the party's over

# I'm so tired

# Much communication

# Out of nowhere

# Avalon #

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