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1
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:05,595
Well, there she is.
2
00:00:05,637 --> 00:00:07,955
There's San Francisco
right down there.
3
00:00:07,979 --> 00:00:10,125
Our story doesn't begin
in San Francisco,
4
00:00:10,149 --> 00:00:12,109
but it ends right down there,
5
00:00:12,151 --> 00:00:14,153
in the middle
of all that wickedness.
6
00:00:14,189 --> 00:00:16,024
Our story begins in Denver,
7
00:00:16,066 --> 00:00:18,527
which we hit
a couple of months back.
8
00:00:18,566 --> 00:00:21,336
It's the story of one
of the most unusual men
9
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,447
that ever finagled his way
on my wagon train,
10
00:00:24,487 --> 00:00:26,531
Dr. Shadrack Bennington.
11
00:00:26,573 --> 00:00:28,783
Step a little closer, folks!
12
00:00:28,824 --> 00:00:33,579
I'd like to introduce
the miracle of miracles today!
13
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:37,166
Right here I have a bottle
of a formulated juice
14
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:40,573
worth a million,
but I'm giving it away...
15
00:00:40,597 --> 00:00:44,184
for a measly silver dollar
that I'll gladly give you back
16
00:00:44,254 --> 00:00:47,924
if this doesn't do
everything I say!
17
00:01:21,922 --> 00:01:24,007
If your nerves are all a-quiver,
18
00:01:24,047 --> 00:01:26,091
if you wake up and you shiver,
19
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:29,845
here's the only thing
to keep you nice and calm.
20
00:01:29,886 --> 00:01:34,349
It's a positive cure
for the ills you endure...
21
00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:37,393
Dr. Bennington's
Beneficent Balm.
22
00:01:37,435 --> 00:01:38,604
Let me tell you!
23
00:01:38,646 --> 00:01:41,082
If you're bilious or neuralgic
24
00:01:41,106 --> 00:01:43,150
or afflicted with the bends,
25
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:47,235
dyspepsia or the gout,
it cures 'em all!
26
00:01:47,277 --> 00:01:51,699
It's the only thing today
absolutely does away
27
00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,619
with that pain that you get
in your whatcha-ma-call.
28
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,868
And now, here's
the biggest feature...
29
00:01:57,940 --> 00:02:00,293
In the presence of your preacher
30
00:02:00,317 --> 00:02:03,636
you can take a swig
without the slightest qualm.
31
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:06,080
While it's good for the aches,
32
00:02:06,121 --> 00:02:08,832
it's got just what it takes,
33
00:02:08,876 --> 00:02:13,631
Dr. Bennington's
Beneficent Balm.
34
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,261
MAN: Bravo!
35
00:02:18,337 --> 00:02:21,483
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
before we part,
36
00:02:21,507 --> 00:02:23,782
may I tell you the dying words
37
00:02:23,806 --> 00:02:27,393
of that great Rajah
of the East, Ali Benali?
38
00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:30,647
He pressed this scrap
of paper into my hand,
39
00:02:30,691 --> 00:02:32,627
containing the formula,
and he said,
40
00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:34,945
"If I had found
the secret before,
41
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,825
I would not be leaving you now."
42
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:41,808
And now, may I present to you
the last living relative
43
00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:45,293
of the great Ali Benali,
Princess Fatima.
44
00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:48,882
Princess Fatima will now
pass amongst you
45
00:02:48,926 --> 00:02:51,846
with the magic medicinal potion.
46
00:02:51,887 --> 00:02:56,935
May I ask you that you
do not buy this magic potion
47
00:02:56,978 --> 00:02:59,856
unless you are in great need.
48
00:03:01,444 --> 00:03:03,612
I'll have a bottle
of that Beneficent Balm.
49
00:03:03,656 --> 00:03:05,342
They're, uh, six for $5.
50
00:03:05,366 --> 00:03:06,868
The man said one, lady.
51
00:03:06,909 --> 00:03:08,787
One?! Give me a dozen.
52
00:03:08,831 --> 00:03:11,167
Charlie, where did you
get that kind of money?
53
00:03:11,208 --> 00:03:13,544
Bill and me played a little
two-handed. Here, Bill.
54
00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:15,192
That's a very great buy, sir.
55
00:03:15,216 --> 00:03:17,028
You will not have
this opportunity again.
56
00:03:17,052 --> 00:03:19,499
The supply of Beneficent Balm
is so limited
57
00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:21,317
that it cannot be procured
58
00:03:21,359 --> 00:03:23,194
at pharmacists
or mail-order houses.
59
00:03:23,228 --> 00:03:24,396
All sold out, Dr. Bennington.
60
00:03:25,898 --> 00:03:28,192
Oh, I have a few more bottles
in the back.
61
00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:31,406
I was saving this
for Salt Lake City,
62
00:03:31,448 --> 00:03:32,825
but I cannot leave
63
00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:35,411
the dear people of Denver
in distress.
64
00:03:44,729 --> 00:03:46,982
It's all right, Caesar,
you'll be on next.
65
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:51,656
Let's get back to camp.
66
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,408
Come on. Don't
drop your bottles.
67
00:03:56,082 --> 00:04:00,399
Dr. Bennington's
Beneficent Balm, ha ha!
68
00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:03,009
How I ever let you two
talk me into stopping
69
00:04:03,053 --> 00:04:05,239
off at that medicine
show, I'll never know.
70
00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:06,574
It was a good show.
71
00:04:06,598 --> 00:04:07,933
Oh, good show, my foot.
72
00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:09,897
It was a fake
all the way through.
73
00:04:09,939 --> 00:04:11,483
You ought to know that.
74
00:04:11,525 --> 00:04:13,165
Besides, somebody
tried to steal my watch!
75
00:04:13,196 --> 00:04:15,365
What's a little old watch,
Major? I like the show,
76
00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:17,617
and I liked the Beneficial
Balm! Get outta here.
77
00:04:17,659 --> 00:04:18,993
I'm telling you,
78
00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:20,932
somebody had their hand
in my watch pocket!
79
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,457
It couldn't have been that doc.
80
00:04:22,499 --> 00:04:24,669
He was up on the stage
all the time.
81
00:04:24,712 --> 00:04:26,673
I don't give a goldarn
where he was.
82
00:04:26,714 --> 00:04:28,914
I oughta know when somebody's
trying to steal my watch.
83
00:04:28,938 --> 00:04:30,815
♪ Dr. Beneficent's Balm! ♪
84
00:04:30,856 --> 00:04:32,691
Old Charlie's sounding
a little beneficent.
85
00:04:32,733 --> 00:04:34,693
You don't suppose he had
too many someplace?
86
00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:37,524
How could he? We've
been with him all the time.
87
00:04:37,566 --> 00:04:38,942
Yeah, I forgot.
88
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,614
Besides, he always cries
when he has too many.
89
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,992
You know, Major...
90
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:47,497
We may never see
the doctor again. Balm!
91
00:04:47,539 --> 00:04:49,912
Poor Dr. Bennington.
92
00:04:49,936 --> 00:04:51,354
Hyah!
93
00:04:54,843 --> 00:04:56,487
There were several people
94
00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:58,972
from the Adams train
out front tonight.
95
00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:00,828
I've been thinking about us
joining them.
96
00:05:00,852 --> 00:05:04,009
Joining them?
97
00:05:04,033 --> 00:05:05,803
They're going west!
98
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,745
Poopsie, you dazzle me.
99
00:05:07,787 --> 00:05:09,143
When you talked me into
100
00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:10,978
getting on this
medical sleigh ride,
101
00:05:11,002 --> 00:05:13,505
you said we were going
east to get married.
102
00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:15,154
We are, we are.
103
00:05:15,178 --> 00:05:17,513
How can you go east
from Kansas City
104
00:05:17,555 --> 00:05:19,223
and end up in Denver?
105
00:05:19,269 --> 00:05:20,663
Well, it ain't easy.
106
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,094
East to get married!
107
00:05:23,118 --> 00:05:25,745
East what, east Shanghai?
108
00:05:27,081 --> 00:05:29,500
Well, if my little princess
will stop and think a minute,
109
00:05:29,577 --> 00:05:32,496
she'll realize we have
to go west to get east.
110
00:05:32,538 --> 00:05:34,665
We can't cross the plains alone.
111
00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:36,585
We'll catch a ship
in San Francisco.
112
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:41,162
All right. I'll go
to San Francisco.
113
00:05:41,186 --> 00:05:43,258
Now my little princess is being
114
00:05:43,282 --> 00:05:45,951
her old sweet,
reasonable self again.
115
00:05:45,993 --> 00:05:48,328
On one condition.
116
00:05:48,397 --> 00:05:50,566
We get married in Denver.
117
00:05:50,608 --> 00:05:51,944
Married in Denver?!
118
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,514
Poopsie, we can't get
married in Denver.
119
00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:54,998
We'd never live it down.
120
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,167
Well, we're gonna get
married in Denver
121
00:05:57,209 --> 00:05:59,753
or I'm gonna stay right here
and open my own medicine show!
122
00:05:59,828 --> 00:06:02,164
I want to live
like other people.
123
00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:05,752
But I'm not other people.
I'm a nomad. I live in a wagon.
124
00:06:05,796 --> 00:06:08,090
You could be married
and live in a wagon.
125
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,179
You can't domesticate me.
I'm a cavalier of the open road.
126
00:06:11,221 --> 00:06:13,260
Why, if I got married,
127
00:06:13,284 --> 00:06:15,077
it would ruin
my whole personality.
128
00:06:15,119 --> 00:06:18,248
Your personality could stand
a little upgrading.
129
00:06:18,292 --> 00:06:21,212
Never base a sales pitch
on an insult.
130
00:06:21,253 --> 00:06:23,380
Sales pitch?!
131
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,460
Marriage isn't a sales pitch!
132
00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:28,448
Now you're making him nervous.
133
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:31,768
You know what he does
when you raise your voice.
134
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,728
He'll have another one
of his headaches.
135
00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:37,193
Headaches. That's just a routine
136
00:06:37,235 --> 00:06:39,987
to get another bottle of
Beneficent Balm out of you.
137
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,069
Now you've hurt his feelings.
138
00:06:43,948 --> 00:06:46,993
Boy, has he got you
in the palm of his paw.
139
00:06:47,034 --> 00:06:49,731
He was a nice lion
before he met you.
140
00:06:49,755 --> 00:06:52,299
Now he's just as big
a phony as you are.
141
00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:56,132
The truth hurts, doesn't it?
142
00:06:57,216 --> 00:06:59,288
My little princess
is nervous tonight.
143
00:06:59,312 --> 00:07:01,731
I am not your little princess!
144
00:07:01,773 --> 00:07:03,587
I'm through!
145
00:07:03,611 --> 00:07:06,489
Well, if we break up the act,
what about Caesar?
146
00:07:06,531 --> 00:07:08,930
Caesar's mine. You know that.
147
00:07:08,954 --> 00:07:11,081
Well, he's getting
very fond of me.
148
00:07:11,123 --> 00:07:14,029
He's a man's lion,
if you know what I mean.
149
00:07:14,053 --> 00:07:16,240
He'll meet another man.
150
00:07:16,264 --> 00:07:18,557
Never. He's a one-man lion.
151
00:07:18,632 --> 00:07:20,778
You act like he's a human being.
152
00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:23,305
Well, he's more human
than most beings.
153
00:07:23,349 --> 00:07:24,684
You old ragbag!
154
00:07:24,726 --> 00:07:26,686
You're my best friend.
155
00:07:26,728 --> 00:07:29,814
Well, your "best friend" and I
156
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,477
will be at the hotel.
157
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,022
Put Caesar in my wagon.
158
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:45,420
Well, Caesar,
I guess this is it.
159
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,604
Get over there, boy.
160
00:08:10,635 --> 00:08:12,512
Here's your purse.
161
00:08:12,554 --> 00:08:14,056
Thank you.
162
00:08:14,099 --> 00:08:15,827
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
163
00:08:15,851 --> 00:08:17,495
You're a lovely girl.
164
00:08:17,519 --> 00:08:20,230
It's nothing personal.
165
00:08:20,276 --> 00:08:22,612
Some men get married;
some don't.
166
00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:24,198
Takes all kinds, doesn't it?
167
00:08:26,245 --> 00:08:29,457
Good night, Shad...
or is it good-bye?
168
00:08:35,888 --> 00:08:37,264
Good-bye.
169
00:08:37,306 --> 00:08:38,974
Good-bye, Fatima.
170
00:08:59,841 --> 00:09:01,301
Major, wake up! Wake up!
171
00:09:01,343 --> 00:09:02,928
What's the matter,
Indians? No, but...
172
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,680
Somebody hurt? No, nobody hurt.
173
00:09:04,723 --> 00:09:06,350
Fire? No fire.
174
00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:08,185
Well, then it can
wait till morning.
175
00:09:08,231 --> 00:09:09,858
No, there's a gentleman
from Denver.
176
00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:11,585
He wants to join
the wagon train.
177
00:09:11,609 --> 00:09:13,027
He look all right?
178
00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:14,572
Yeah, looks just fine.
179
00:09:14,616 --> 00:09:16,243
He got a wagon?
180
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:19,121
Yes, he's got a wagon.
181
00:09:19,165 --> 00:09:22,293
All right, then tell him
$40 from Denver to Frisco.
182
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:24,200
Pull him behind the last wagon,
183
00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:26,352
we roll at daybreak,
and good night!
184
00:09:26,394 --> 00:09:27,520
Yes, sir. Good night.
185
00:09:27,562 --> 00:09:28,855
You heard what he said.
186
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:31,527
You fall in behind
the last wagon,
187
00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:34,090
we roll in the morning,
and you and the major
188
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,591
can talk over
the details tomorrow.
189
00:09:35,615 --> 00:09:37,093
Good night. Good night.
190
00:09:37,117 --> 00:09:38,870
Nice fella.
191
00:09:41,084 --> 00:09:43,295
Hey, he looks kind
of familiar, though.
192
00:09:52,270 --> 00:09:54,257
I saw old man Harvey
down the line,
193
00:09:54,281 --> 00:09:55,758
he said there's a wild animal
194
00:09:55,782 --> 00:09:56,926
stalking the train.
195
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,493
Oh, you know old man Harvey.
196
00:09:58,571 --> 00:10:00,615
He's seen an Indian
behind every bush
197
00:10:00,656 --> 00:10:02,116
since we started west.
198
00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:04,578
What kind of an animal
he say it was?
199
00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:05,808
A lion.
200
00:10:05,832 --> 00:10:07,143
Bill, there's no mountain lion...
201
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,002
An African lion.
202
00:10:09,046 --> 00:10:10,797
Well, that figures.
203
00:10:10,839 --> 00:10:12,799
That's old man Harvey,
that's all.
204
00:10:12,841 --> 00:10:14,009
Come on.
205
00:10:15,304 --> 00:10:17,140
Whoa!
206
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,794
What took you so long?
207
00:10:46,556 --> 00:10:49,141
Oh, not another one
of your headaches!
208
00:10:49,187 --> 00:10:51,022
Well, all right,
one more bottle,
209
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:52,566
but that's all.
210
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,068
Old man Thorndike tells me that
211
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,695
there's some man on the train
212
00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:21,857
making sly proposals
to the young ladies.
213
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,387
No, not again!
214
00:11:23,411 --> 00:11:25,037
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
215
00:11:25,079 --> 00:11:28,207
Last time old man Thorndike
started something like this,
216
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:30,296
turned out to be
Charlie Wooster!
217
00:11:30,337 --> 00:11:32,047
All Charlie was
doin' was announcing
218
00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:33,955
the Saturday night square dance.
219
00:11:33,979 --> 00:11:36,022
Next time you see Mr. Thorndike,
220
00:11:36,064 --> 00:11:38,900
you just tell him to keep
his mind off the young ladies.
221
00:11:38,977 --> 00:11:40,979
Isn't a man
on this whole durn train
222
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:45,610
that would make sly proposals.
223
00:11:45,654 --> 00:11:49,521
I'll give you $5
for an evening's work.
224
00:11:49,545 --> 00:11:53,173
I want to saw you in half.
225
00:11:53,215 --> 00:11:55,122
Major! Major! Ha!
226
00:11:55,146 --> 00:11:57,107
Look what I found
on the last wagon!
227
00:11:57,148 --> 00:11:59,235
Dr. Bennington must've
joined the wagon train.
228
00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,597
Charlie, did you let
a medicine show join the train?
229
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,015
Last night. You remember...
230
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:04,586
Last night I remember nothing.
231
00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:06,129
You didn't say anything
about a medicine show.
232
00:12:06,153 --> 00:12:07,904
In the hammock.
I didn't know it was...
233
00:12:07,946 --> 00:12:09,114
You didn't know? You...
234
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:10,629
I didn't recognize him.
235
00:12:10,653 --> 00:12:14,156
That's all we need...
A medicine show.
236
00:12:19,089 --> 00:12:20,442
There you are!
237
00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:22,635
Doctor, I have some
problems. Yes, madam?
238
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:24,373
I'd like to discuss
them with you.
239
00:12:24,397 --> 00:12:26,399
Would you like to
come up here and talk?
240
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:27,609
Oh, thank you.
241
00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:29,152
Your problems
are my problems, madam.
242
00:12:29,198 --> 00:12:31,159
I, uh...
243
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,595
Well, you see, Doctor,
I get these pains
244
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,747
right in the back of my head.
245
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,332
Is it kind of throbbing?
246
00:12:37,373 --> 00:12:38,936
Oh, it is. It is!
247
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,837
You put your finger right on it.
248
00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:42,672
And then sometimes
my back begins to pain,
249
00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:44,883
right about here.
And I get nervous!
250
00:12:44,927 --> 00:12:47,615
You wouldn't believe how
nervous I get. Of course you do.
251
00:12:47,639 --> 00:12:49,850
Oh, Doctor, you don't know
how wonderful it is
252
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,105
to find someone at last
who understands my problem.
253
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,982
Of course I understand
your problem, madam.
254
00:12:54,027 --> 00:12:56,029
Now, I would suggest
that you take
255
00:12:56,071 --> 00:12:58,073
one tablespoonful
of Beneficent Balm
256
00:12:58,114 --> 00:12:59,636
three times daily.
257
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:00,970
Before meals or after meals?
258
00:13:00,994 --> 00:13:02,288
Before. How much before?
259
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:03,998
Eh, about a half hour.
260
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:07,121
Now, how many bottles of
Beneficent Balm would you like?
261
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,983
I'll see you at the wagon.
262
00:13:09,007 --> 00:13:11,653
Now, remember,
my supply is limited.
263
00:13:11,677 --> 00:13:13,512
Well, uh, wouldn't
want to run short.
264
00:13:13,556 --> 00:13:15,267
Of course not. Eh, shall we say
265
00:13:15,309 --> 00:13:16,477
two bottles weekly?
266
00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:18,020
Oh, I think at least a dozen.
267
00:13:18,062 --> 00:13:19,480
Oh, yes, at least.
268
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,686
Well, maybe two dozen
would be safer.
269
00:13:21,728 --> 00:13:23,521
Much safer.
270
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:28,245
Isn't he wonderful, Major Adams?
271
00:13:28,286 --> 00:13:30,247
Well, he's sure got
a great spiel,
272
00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:31,749
I'll say that for him.
273
00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:34,197
He asked me to help him
out with the act.
274
00:13:34,221 --> 00:13:36,431
He wants to saw
me in half. He what?!
275
00:13:36,473 --> 00:13:39,686
I want you to heat this
just as hot as you can stand it.
276
00:13:39,724 --> 00:13:42,727
Soak your feet in it
for at least one hour nightly.
277
00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:44,129
I guarantee you,
278
00:13:44,153 --> 00:13:46,989
you will have
a brand-new pair of feet.
279
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,422
This is the life, isn't it, pal?
280
00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:03,389
No cage, just a meadow
and an open sky.
281
00:14:03,432 --> 00:14:04,600
Here.
282
00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:16,034
Pick up your feet!
You're getting lazy.
283
00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:23,379
Is that your lion?
284
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:24,926
Sure that's my lion.
285
00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:30,393
What's your lion's name?
286
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:32,312
Caesar Augustus Bennington.
287
00:14:32,353 --> 00:14:34,417
What's yours?
288
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,650
Winfy.
289
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:37,277
Winfy? Winfy what?
290
00:14:37,319 --> 00:14:38,737
Winfy Robertson.
291
00:14:38,783 --> 00:14:40,785
Major Adams is taking me
to San Francisco
292
00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:42,621
to live with my grandpa.
293
00:14:42,662 --> 00:14:44,289
I'm an orphan.
294
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:46,937
Yeah? I used to be
an orphan, too,
295
00:14:46,961 --> 00:14:48,699
when I was your age.
296
00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:49,974
Did you outgrow it?
297
00:14:50,016 --> 00:14:52,268
Yeah. Yeah. You will too.
298
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:55,147
My grandpa owns
half of San Francisco.
299
00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:58,401
Yeah? That's too bad.
300
00:14:58,479 --> 00:15:00,481
Money's a terrible
responsibility.
301
00:15:00,523 --> 00:15:01,690
I know it.
302
00:15:03,788 --> 00:15:05,766
Why's his name Caesar?
303
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:08,585
Because, uh, Caesar
was a noble Roman,
304
00:15:08,629 --> 00:15:10,440
and he looks like a noble Roman.
305
00:15:10,464 --> 00:15:13,050
But how can a lion
be a noble Roman?
306
00:15:13,091 --> 00:15:15,719
Lions come from Africa,
307
00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:17,557
and Romans come from Rome.
308
00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:21,313
Listen, kid, I'll
give you a tip free.
309
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,315
Don't throw
your education around.
310
00:15:23,359 --> 00:15:24,485
People won't like it.
311
00:15:24,527 --> 00:15:25,962
I was just asking.
312
00:15:25,986 --> 00:15:28,197
Yeah, I know, but it
was a loaded question.
313
00:15:28,239 --> 00:15:30,324
I never knew a lion before.
314
00:15:30,371 --> 00:15:32,373
Would he eat me?
315
00:15:32,414 --> 00:15:34,376
Well, not unless you eat him.
316
00:15:35,913 --> 00:15:37,707
You think that's funny, huh?
317
00:15:37,748 --> 00:15:39,528
He's too big to eat.
318
00:15:39,552 --> 00:15:41,512
Would he let me pet him?
319
00:15:41,554 --> 00:15:43,848
He might, when he
gets to know you.
320
00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:48,727
Must be nice to have
him for a friend.
321
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:57,201
I think he wants you
to throw him the ball.
322
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,593
Scat!
323
00:16:36,973 --> 00:16:40,435
Charlie! Bill!
There's a lion on the loose!
324
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,940
Take cover, everybody!
325
00:16:41,981 --> 00:16:43,608
Bill!
326
00:16:45,152 --> 00:16:46,362
Charlie! Bill!
327
00:16:46,403 --> 00:16:47,988
There's a lion on the loose!
328
00:16:48,030 --> 00:16:49,520
Take cover, everybody!
329
00:16:49,544 --> 00:16:52,047
Bill, Charlie,
I got him right here!
330
00:16:52,088 --> 00:16:55,383
I must ask you not to yell
in front of my lion.
331
00:16:55,426 --> 00:16:58,596
What do you mean, bringing
that wild animal on this train?
332
00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:00,882
He won't hurt you, Major Adams.
333
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,733
It's all right, Caesar.
The major won't hurt you.
334
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:06,776
I-I won't?!
335
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,892
Please! He can't stand yelling.
336
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:10,459
It gives him a headache.
337
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:13,086
What are you doing
with this wild animal?
338
00:17:13,128 --> 00:17:15,632
His name is Caesar.
He's a noble Roman.
339
00:17:15,709 --> 00:17:18,712
Winfy, you go take
your nap. I had my nap.
340
00:17:18,756 --> 00:17:20,925
Well, go take another one.
I wanna talk to this fella.
341
00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:23,278
All right. Bye, Caesar.
342
00:17:23,302 --> 00:17:25,418
Now, go on. Get outta here.
343
00:17:25,442 --> 00:17:28,613
Now, why didn't you tell me last
night you had a wild animal with you?
344
00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:31,796
He is not a wild animal.
He's a domestic pet.
345
00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:33,863
Pet! No wonder my horses
346
00:17:33,907 --> 00:17:35,534
were going half-crazy all day.
347
00:17:35,575 --> 00:17:37,369
I can't be hauling
an African lion!
348
00:17:37,411 --> 00:17:38,943
Let's move away from the cage.
349
00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:40,469
You're making him nervous.
350
00:17:40,511 --> 00:17:41,863
I'm making him nervous?
What about me?
351
00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:43,541
How would you like to wake up
352
00:17:43,565 --> 00:17:45,585
out of a sound sleep
and find that animal
353
00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:47,527
staring you in the face
with his mouth open?!
354
00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:49,738
And how would you like
to be happily playing
355
00:17:49,848 --> 00:17:52,143
and look up and see you
with your mouth open?!
356
00:17:52,184 --> 00:17:54,090
You've just gotta
get rid of him.
357
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,782
That's all there is to it. How?
358
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,802
I don't know how!
Take him back to Denver.
359
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,942
I don't know where Denver
is from here.
360
00:17:59,966 --> 00:18:02,069
Just what in blazes do you
think I'm going to do with you?
361
00:18:02,093 --> 00:18:04,115
You've got me out here
in the middle of nowhere.
362
00:18:04,139 --> 00:18:06,476
It's up to you to keep
your part of the bargain.
363
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:10,063
All right, but let me
tell you something, fella.
364
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,129
You keep your outfit
clear to the end
365
00:18:12,153 --> 00:18:13,633
of this train, is that clear?
366
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,301
And you keep
that lion locked up!
367
00:18:15,325 --> 00:18:17,036
The next time I see him loose,
368
00:18:17,078 --> 00:18:18,705
I'm gonna shoot him!
369
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,336
I'm not taking any chances
on losing people or stock.
370
00:18:24,372 --> 00:18:27,250
And where in tarnation are you
gonna get the meat to feed him?
371
00:18:27,292 --> 00:18:29,823
Caesar doesn't eat meat.
He's a vegetarian.
372
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:32,182
Vegetarian?! Lions
don't eat vegetables.
373
00:18:32,224 --> 00:18:33,664
Caesar does.
374
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:35,940
He's been raised on
vegetables since he was a baby.
375
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,835
He can't stand the sight
of raw meat.
376
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:40,570
Ridiculous. Whoever
heard of such a lion?
377
00:18:40,649 --> 00:18:42,903
Caesar doesn't even
know he's a lion!
378
00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:44,432
He's never seen one.
379
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,833
I honestly believe
he thinks he's people, like us.
380
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,878
I don't give a good
continental what he thinks he is.
381
00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:51,550
You keep him locked up!
382
00:18:51,592 --> 00:18:53,677
And another thing, Doctor...
383
00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:56,200
You stay away from the
young women on this train.
384
00:18:56,224 --> 00:18:57,851
They're nice young ladies,
385
00:18:57,893 --> 00:18:59,674
and I'm not gonna have
you sawing them in half!
386
00:18:59,698 --> 00:19:01,676
MAN: Mr. Bennington,
387
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,828
I understand you want
to saw my daughter in half.
388
00:19:04,906 --> 00:19:06,532
Well, I...
389
00:19:06,574 --> 00:19:08,890
I knew there was
gonna be trouble about this.
390
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:11,041
My little girl's
led a sheltered life.
391
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,376
She's not used to
the ways of the world.
392
00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:15,159
What my father's trying to say
393
00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:18,061
is that we've decided
to let you saw me in half...
394
00:19:18,102 --> 00:19:19,187
if it doesn't hurt.
395
00:19:19,231 --> 00:19:20,442
Well, isn't that nice.
396
00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:22,110
You're gonna let her do this?!
397
00:19:22,152 --> 00:19:24,654
Mm, well, uh...
398
00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:26,718
Jenny's a lot like her mother,
399
00:19:26,742 --> 00:19:28,202
hard to handle.
400
00:19:28,243 --> 00:19:30,788
When she wants something,
she usually gets it.
401
00:19:30,832 --> 00:19:33,002
You're outta your...
402
00:19:33,044 --> 00:19:36,964
You just remember what
I told you about that lion.
403
00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:39,616
Does it hurt?
404
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,101
Do you think I'd hurt you?
405
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,194
Your lion looks so sad.
406
00:19:50,239 --> 00:19:52,616
Well, he's had a hard day.
407
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,451
Oh, poor lion.
408
00:19:54,496 --> 00:19:58,626
Poor, big, powerful,
wonderful lion.
409
00:19:58,672 --> 00:20:01,508
Oh, he's the most wonderful
lion in the whole world!
410
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:08,432
Um, how do you saw me in half?
411
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:11,019
Well, first I introduce you.
412
00:20:11,063 --> 00:20:14,358
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present my assistant,
413
00:20:14,403 --> 00:20:17,239
the finest flower
of the Western hemisphere.
414
00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:20,480
You may search the wide world
from shore to shore,
415
00:20:20,504 --> 00:20:22,881
you may devote your whole life
to the search...
416
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:25,343
You will not find her equal,
417
00:20:25,421 --> 00:20:28,966
her eyes like the first
fresh violets of April,
418
00:20:29,009 --> 00:20:31,887
her skin as fresh
and fair as the morning,
419
00:20:31,928 --> 00:20:35,253
her lips of fire and dew
ready to be awakened...
420
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:39,971
Ah, spring, love,
youth... Jenny.
421
00:20:39,995 --> 00:20:41,163
Jennifer.
422
00:20:41,204 --> 00:20:43,999
Princess Jennifer.
423
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:47,250
And now you make your entrance.
424
00:20:47,292 --> 00:20:48,647
Your eyes on mine,
425
00:20:48,671 --> 00:20:51,174
you come closer and closer,
my dear. Closer.
426
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:52,484
And then?
427
00:20:52,508 --> 00:20:55,887
And then you lie down,
your eyes still on mine.
428
00:20:55,925 --> 00:20:58,428
I follow you, I bend over,
429
00:20:58,469 --> 00:21:02,224
I look at your fresh beauty
for one breathless moment,
430
00:21:02,301 --> 00:21:04,011
and then... Yes?
431
00:21:04,053 --> 00:21:06,513
I saw you in half.
432
00:21:06,555 --> 00:21:10,226
Ah, Princess,
you'll be magnificent.
433
00:21:12,732 --> 00:21:16,033
Ladies and gentlemen,
Princess Jennifer!
434
00:21:57,395 --> 00:22:01,232
This is to spare you
the blood and gore.
435
00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:06,410
AUDIENCE: Oh!
436
00:22:40,889 --> 00:22:42,141
Thank you.
437
00:22:43,973 --> 00:22:46,267
Wanna buy some
Beneficent Balm, Major?
438
00:22:46,309 --> 00:22:48,686
Oh, Winfy, not me.
439
00:22:48,729 --> 00:22:51,940
Maybe you'd better
see Wooster, eh?
440
00:22:51,982 --> 00:22:54,943
All sold out, Dr. Bennington.
441
00:22:54,980 --> 00:22:57,942
Do not despair. We have
a few more bottles in the back.
442
00:22:57,984 --> 00:22:59,736
They were reserved
for San Francisco,
443
00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:02,740
but they shall be yours.
444
00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:08,868
Mr. Bennington?
445
00:23:08,911 --> 00:23:13,374
Oh! Here you are, $5.
446
00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:15,293
Oh, I've had so much fun
447
00:23:15,338 --> 00:23:17,316
I don't think
I should take the money.
448
00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:19,508
You must. This is
a business transaction.
449
00:23:22,848 --> 00:23:25,184
I didn't know anything
could be so exciting,
450
00:23:25,223 --> 00:23:28,477
all the lights and the music
and everything so shiny.
451
00:23:28,518 --> 00:23:31,646
And you and I
in a circle of magic.
452
00:23:31,688 --> 00:23:33,858
It is magic.
453
00:23:33,899 --> 00:23:36,777
Not everyone who steps
on a stage is struck by it,
454
00:23:36,818 --> 00:23:38,904
but when they are,
it's almost as if
455
00:23:38,942 --> 00:23:41,111
Aladdin had rubbed
his magic lamp.
456
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:45,491
Everything else seems
so commonplace and so dull.
457
00:23:45,528 --> 00:23:47,365
I'd like to spend my whole life
458
00:23:47,406 --> 00:23:49,200
in a wagon like this.
459
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,327
I'd like to feel every night
the way I feel now.
460
00:23:52,369 --> 00:23:54,347
I think I'd better take you
back to your wagon.
461
00:23:54,371 --> 00:23:56,206
Oh, no... I've just
discovered the world.
462
00:23:56,247 --> 00:23:57,707
I want to talk about it.
463
00:23:57,749 --> 00:23:59,627
Your father will be
looking for you,
464
00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:01,923
and you have the most
enormous father.
465
00:24:01,964 --> 00:24:04,356
Mr. Bennington...
466
00:24:04,380 --> 00:24:06,715
do you believe
in love at first sight?
467
00:24:06,757 --> 00:24:09,301
Miss Jenny,
on a night like this,
468
00:24:09,343 --> 00:24:10,677
it's possible to believe in
469
00:24:10,719 --> 00:24:12,055
all manner of nonsense.
470
00:24:12,097 --> 00:24:15,183
Have you ever
considered marriage?
471
00:24:15,223 --> 00:24:18,518
I always try to avoid it
whenever possible.
472
00:24:18,559 --> 00:24:21,562
But surely you must
always need a princess.
473
00:24:21,604 --> 00:24:23,732
Well, I'm always able
to hire one.
474
00:24:23,774 --> 00:24:25,818
Wouldn't it be more convenient
475
00:24:25,890 --> 00:24:27,809
if you had one in the family?
476
00:24:27,851 --> 00:24:29,712
A permanent princess.
477
00:24:29,736 --> 00:24:31,405
It's getting rather cool out.
478
00:24:31,446 --> 00:24:33,091
I think I'd better walk
you back to your wagon.
479
00:24:33,115 --> 00:24:35,867
You know, the trouble
with you is...
480
00:24:35,904 --> 00:24:38,616
you're shy.
481
00:24:49,965 --> 00:24:52,467
Young lady, you're going home.
482
00:24:52,509 --> 00:24:55,053
I'm beginning to feel
like this is home.
483
00:24:55,124 --> 00:24:56,792
Come on.
484
00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:01,426
And furthermore, my dear child,
485
00:25:01,468 --> 00:25:03,446
let me tell you about myself.
486
00:25:03,470 --> 00:25:05,869
I am a knight of the open road,
487
00:25:05,893 --> 00:25:07,854
a carefree cavalier.
488
00:25:07,895 --> 00:25:09,897
I roam from town to town,
489
00:25:09,972 --> 00:25:12,308
and you might as well
know it right now,
490
00:25:12,349 --> 00:25:14,285
from princess to princess.
491
00:25:14,309 --> 00:25:17,145
That's because you've
never met the right princess.
492
00:25:17,187 --> 00:25:19,548
Every princess
is the right princess,
493
00:25:19,572 --> 00:25:21,657
and I want each of my princesses
494
00:25:21,699 --> 00:25:23,951
to remain just as you are,
495
00:25:23,994 --> 00:25:27,081
young and lovely and free.
496
00:25:27,123 --> 00:25:28,958
And I want each of my princesses
497
00:25:29,002 --> 00:25:30,795
to leave me just as I am,
498
00:25:30,837 --> 00:25:32,464
a bachelor.
499
00:25:34,122 --> 00:25:35,624
Good night.
500
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,934
Hi, Winfy.
Shouldn't you be in bed?
501
00:25:49,010 --> 00:25:51,804
I suppose so. You kissed Jenny.
502
00:25:51,846 --> 00:25:53,849
Well, now, it's not nice
to peek and tell.
503
00:25:53,891 --> 00:25:55,919
How come you kissed her?
504
00:25:55,943 --> 00:25:57,904
Just happened.
505
00:25:57,945 --> 00:26:00,323
Hi, pal!
506
00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:05,163
What's this now, Caesar?
507
00:26:07,408 --> 00:26:08,826
He's mad.
508
00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:11,315
Caesar, you're too big
a boy to act like that.
509
00:26:11,339 --> 00:26:13,716
You kissed her right
in front of his cage.
510
00:26:13,758 --> 00:26:15,635
It was just
a friendly little kiss.
511
00:26:15,670 --> 00:26:17,130
Didn't mean anything.
512
00:26:17,172 --> 00:26:19,675
Now, listen to me.
I'll kiss anybody I please.
513
00:26:19,712 --> 00:26:22,858
I don't have to listen to you.
514
00:26:22,882 --> 00:26:25,343
Don't you turn your back
on me when I'm talking to you.
515
00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:28,204
Caesar, do you hear me?
Don't you turn your back!
516
00:26:28,246 --> 00:26:31,078
Caesar, now this behavior
is childish and foolish.
517
00:26:31,102 --> 00:26:32,938
Now, I want
to tell you something.
518
00:26:35,393 --> 00:26:38,355
Well, I'm not going to dignify
that remark with an answer.
519
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:43,104
I know what's wrong with you.
520
00:26:43,145 --> 00:26:45,523
You haven't had your
Beneficent Balm for tonight.
521
00:27:08,496 --> 00:27:12,208
Well, now, that does it.
That really does it.
522
00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:17,661
Winfy, you gotta keep your
eye on lions and women.
523
00:27:17,703 --> 00:27:20,315
They both wanna own you.
524
00:27:20,339 --> 00:27:21,508
Yeah.
525
00:27:30,881 --> 00:27:33,217
There was no denying
as we rolled up
526
00:27:33,259 --> 00:27:35,414
the miles between Denver
and San Francisco
527
00:27:35,438 --> 00:27:38,250
that the whole train
was succumbing to the charm
528
00:27:38,274 --> 00:27:41,235
of Shadrack
and Caesar Augustus Bennington.
529
00:27:41,278 --> 00:27:44,573
I never did know why people
didn't see through him.
530
00:27:44,614 --> 00:27:46,575
Maybe they didn't want to.
531
00:27:46,617 --> 00:27:49,929
People refused to be warned
about his medicine,
532
00:27:49,953 --> 00:27:52,765
and they refused
to be warned about him.
533
00:27:52,789 --> 00:27:55,542
Jenny had made up her mind
about Shad Bennington
534
00:27:55,582 --> 00:27:57,917
the first time
she laid eyes on him,
535
00:27:57,959 --> 00:28:00,296
and so had Winfy Robertson.
536
00:28:00,339 --> 00:28:02,841
They each saw
what they wanted to see.
537
00:28:02,883 --> 00:28:06,970
Jenny saw a husband,
Winfy a father.
538
00:28:11,434 --> 00:28:13,102
Lions.
539
00:28:13,144 --> 00:28:15,021
Bennington.
540
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,771
Bennington's Balm.
541
00:28:18,812 --> 00:28:19,980
Lions.
542
00:28:21,524 --> 00:28:23,629
Look out, they're loose.
543
00:28:23,653 --> 00:28:25,488
They're loose!
544
00:28:25,526 --> 00:28:27,296
Look out, they're coming at you!
545
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,364
Move, will ya?
546
00:28:37,110 --> 00:28:39,306
Goldarn that lion.
547
00:28:39,330 --> 00:28:41,582
Keep everybody in camp
awake all night.
548
00:28:41,624 --> 00:28:44,710
Charlie. Charlie,
wake up, will ya?
549
00:28:44,748 --> 00:28:46,667
I didn't... I didn't
do it, Major!
550
00:28:46,708 --> 00:28:48,043
Honest, I didn't do it!
551
00:28:48,085 --> 00:28:49,462
Oh, come on.
552
00:28:49,570 --> 00:28:51,548
What do you suppose
is wrong with Caesar, Major?
553
00:28:51,572 --> 00:28:53,782
Sounds like he's been eating
some of Charlie's cooking.
554
00:29:02,016 --> 00:29:05,269
Mr. Bennington,
what in tarnation is wrong
555
00:29:05,346 --> 00:29:07,181
with that animal of yours?
556
00:29:07,223 --> 00:29:09,642
Well, I don't know. He
never acted like this before.
557
00:29:09,687 --> 00:29:11,439
I can't find anything wrong.
558
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,774
Well, something's
wrong with him!
559
00:29:13,816 --> 00:29:15,842
What's the matter, boy?
What's troubling you?
560
00:29:15,866 --> 00:29:17,410
Sounds like he's
got a bellyache.
561
00:29:17,451 --> 00:29:18,845
Suppose somebody
tried to poison him?
562
00:29:18,869 --> 00:29:20,454
Nobody would but the major.
563
00:29:20,493 --> 00:29:22,412
I wouldn't try to poison a rat!
564
00:29:22,453 --> 00:29:23,705
You oughta know that.
565
00:29:25,789 --> 00:29:28,626
Hey, looky there,
the way he's working his mouth.
566
00:29:28,668 --> 00:29:30,545
Does that mean anything
to you, Bennington?
567
00:29:30,611 --> 00:29:31,904
Afraid not.
568
00:29:31,945 --> 00:29:34,352
Tell me something,
just how could it be
569
00:29:34,376 --> 00:29:36,521
that a man like you would
take on an animal like this
570
00:29:36,545 --> 00:29:39,172
without knowing one single
solitary thing about him?
571
00:29:39,213 --> 00:29:41,007
He's never been sick before.
572
00:29:41,049 --> 00:29:42,551
Well, he's sick now.
573
00:29:45,755 --> 00:29:47,631
He isn't gonna die, is he?
574
00:29:47,673 --> 00:29:49,091
Sure sounds like he is.
575
00:29:49,133 --> 00:29:51,051
Oh, of course
he's not gonna die.
576
00:29:51,124 --> 00:29:53,937
I never saw an animal
die from a toothache, did you?
577
00:29:53,961 --> 00:29:55,068
Toothache?
578
00:29:55,092 --> 00:29:56,570
Do lions have toothaches?
579
00:29:56,594 --> 00:29:57,904
Why not? He's got teeth,
ain't he?
580
00:29:57,928 --> 00:29:59,743
What are you gonna do about it?
581
00:29:59,767 --> 00:30:01,911
Get those long-handled tongs
out of the horseshoeing kit.
582
00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,145
Yes, sir!
583
00:30:03,187 --> 00:30:04,688
What's the matter, fella, huh?
584
00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:12,686
There. Now, steady here.
585
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:15,002
I'm sure glad he's a vegetarian.
586
00:30:15,026 --> 00:30:16,920
That's it, boy.
587
00:30:16,944 --> 00:30:18,923
That's the tooth
right there, see it?
588
00:30:18,947 --> 00:30:20,532
You sure that's the right one?
589
00:30:20,609 --> 00:30:22,444
See how inflamed
it is around there?
590
00:30:22,486 --> 00:30:23,946
That's what's causing the fever.
591
00:30:23,987 --> 00:30:25,628
That tooth's gotta come out.
592
00:30:25,652 --> 00:30:27,630
Maybe he's not gonna feel
the same way about it.
593
00:30:27,654 --> 00:30:29,433
Charlie's got a point there.
594
00:30:29,457 --> 00:30:31,144
This might end up hurting
you more than it does him.
595
00:30:31,168 --> 00:30:32,604
Bill, this cat's in pain.
596
00:30:32,628 --> 00:30:34,671
Somebody's gotta do
something for him.
597
00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:36,640
Give me them things. Now, come
over here and get a hold of him.
598
00:30:36,664 --> 00:30:38,499
You're not gonna
use those pliers?!
599
00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:40,334
Well, I'm not gonna
use a hatchet.
600
00:30:40,377 --> 00:30:42,170
Now, here. Hang onto him.
601
00:30:42,212 --> 00:30:44,173
Now. Hold it, boy.
602
00:30:45,806 --> 00:30:48,308
If I get a toothache,
I'm not gonna tell you about it.
603
00:30:48,350 --> 00:30:50,227
Hold it.
604
00:30:52,596 --> 00:30:54,431
Down, boy.
605
00:30:58,143 --> 00:30:59,562
I got it. I got it.
606
00:31:01,319 --> 00:31:03,279
Ah!
607
00:31:03,321 --> 00:31:04,989
Look at that thing!
608
00:31:11,197 --> 00:31:14,284
You know, maybe I was
a little harsh on that fella.
609
00:31:14,325 --> 00:31:16,143
Anybody that loves
a cat that much,
610
00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:18,294
by golly, they can't be all bad.
611
00:31:18,336 --> 00:31:19,979
Major, I got something
right here
612
00:31:20,003 --> 00:31:21,756
that'll bring him
around, you know it?
613
00:31:21,798 --> 00:31:23,132
Well, give it to him!
614
00:31:25,247 --> 00:31:28,041
You know, he looks like
he's feeling a little better.
615
00:31:29,084 --> 00:31:32,129
How 'bout it, boy?
Feel better, huh?
616
00:31:33,421 --> 00:31:36,493
That's better, yes!
See, what'd I tell you?
617
00:31:36,517 --> 00:31:39,144
Major, I can't thank you
enough for what you did tonight.
618
00:31:39,186 --> 00:31:42,523
Yeah, sure. Better, isn't it?
619
00:31:42,599 --> 00:31:45,768
Aw, that's all right.
Don't you mention it.
620
00:31:45,810 --> 00:31:48,605
Yes, it's all right.
It's all right.
621
00:31:48,646 --> 00:31:52,049
Fine, yes. Good boy, yeah, fine.
622
00:31:52,073 --> 00:31:54,409
Go back to sleep now.
623
00:31:54,482 --> 00:31:56,377
That's a good boy.
624
00:31:56,401 --> 00:31:59,047
MAJOR ADAMS: Shadrack Bennington
had a way about him,
625
00:31:59,071 --> 00:32:00,948
there was no denying that,
626
00:32:01,026 --> 00:32:03,987
and he wasn't what
you could call a stingy man.
627
00:32:04,029 --> 00:32:05,936
He went right on
giving his shows
628
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,837
even after he'd run out
of medicine.
629
00:32:07,879 --> 00:32:09,714
And I had to admit,
his performances
630
00:32:09,753 --> 00:32:12,340
did a lot to brighten
the weary miles.
631
00:32:12,381 --> 00:32:15,551
By the time we broke up
the train in Sacramento,
632
00:32:15,589 --> 00:32:18,550
Shad was the most popular
man with us,
633
00:32:18,592 --> 00:32:22,095
and Caesar? Ha!
He was a social lion.
634
00:32:24,274 --> 00:32:27,193
Only 14 wagons
went on to San Francisco.
635
00:32:27,268 --> 00:32:29,020
Most everyone seemed happy
636
00:32:29,062 --> 00:32:31,230
and looking forward
to the end of the journey,
637
00:32:31,271 --> 00:32:33,649
but Shad got more and more quiet
638
00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:36,068
and thoughtful
the last few days,
639
00:32:36,106 --> 00:32:38,151
and so did Jenny,
640
00:32:38,193 --> 00:32:39,945
and so did little Winfy.
641
00:32:41,914 --> 00:32:43,957
And then at last one sunset,
642
00:32:43,999 --> 00:32:46,710
we were looking down
on the Golden Gate
643
00:32:46,818 --> 00:32:49,571
and we made camp
for the last time.
644
00:32:49,613 --> 00:32:51,949
The long trip was over.
645
00:32:59,912 --> 00:33:01,665
I brought your costume back.
646
00:33:01,707 --> 00:33:03,458
Why, thank you, Jenny.
647
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,485
I'd like to let you keep it.
648
00:33:05,509 --> 00:33:07,094
I know you'll need it.
649
00:33:07,135 --> 00:33:09,536
It's sad that I haven't
any use for it.
650
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,395
I'll never be a princess again.
651
00:33:11,437 --> 00:33:13,564
Jenny, I'd like
you to know that you're
652
00:33:13,606 --> 00:33:16,109
the nicest princess
I ever sawed in half.
653
00:33:16,185 --> 00:33:18,562
Oh, Shad, couldn't I
please come with you?
654
00:33:18,604 --> 00:33:20,147
I wouldn't take up much room.
655
00:33:20,190 --> 00:33:22,192
I could take care of you
and work for you,
656
00:33:22,234 --> 00:33:24,594
and I wouldn't ask
for anything except...
657
00:33:24,618 --> 00:33:25,953
just to be near you.
658
00:33:27,205 --> 00:33:29,707
Well, I have to speak
to Major Adams.
659
00:33:29,816 --> 00:33:31,776
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
660
00:33:39,553 --> 00:33:42,682
Shad, could I go with you?
661
00:33:44,058 --> 00:33:46,018
Oh, you don't want to connect up
662
00:33:46,119 --> 00:33:48,121
with a medicine show, Winfy.
663
00:33:48,163 --> 00:33:50,165
Why, the world's your oyster.
664
00:33:50,205 --> 00:33:52,208
I don't like oysters.
665
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:54,335
Well, your grandpa
666
00:33:54,377 --> 00:33:56,546
will show you a wonderful time.
667
00:33:56,582 --> 00:33:58,351
He hasn't got a lion.
668
00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:00,205
Well, he can buy a lion.
669
00:34:00,229 --> 00:34:01,939
I don't want just any lion.
670
00:34:01,981 --> 00:34:04,943
I want Caesar,
and I wanna be near you.
671
00:34:07,130 --> 00:34:09,758
Look, I'll... I'll talk
to you tomorrow.
672
00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:18,266
Major.
673
00:34:18,308 --> 00:34:19,642
Oh, hello, Shad.
674
00:34:19,689 --> 00:34:21,649
Sit down and have
a cup of coffee.
675
00:34:21,691 --> 00:34:23,026
Thank you.
676
00:34:23,068 --> 00:34:24,235
Yes, uh...
677
00:34:24,277 --> 00:34:25,878
coffee's a little
better tonight.
678
00:34:25,902 --> 00:34:27,528
I don't know
what happened to Wooster.
679
00:34:27,570 --> 00:34:29,714
This is better coffee
than he usually makes...
680
00:34:29,738 --> 00:34:31,550
You can drink it!
681
00:34:31,574 --> 00:34:35,078
Well, here's to the end
of another trail.
682
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,831
What are you gonna do now?
683
00:34:37,873 --> 00:34:40,125
Oh, we'll probably spend
684
00:34:40,166 --> 00:34:42,293
a week or two tearing
San Francisco apart,
685
00:34:42,335 --> 00:34:44,963
and then another week or two
putting it back together,
686
00:34:45,005 --> 00:34:47,633
and then I guess
we'll head back to St. Joe.
687
00:34:47,674 --> 00:34:49,384
You really enjoy
this life, don't you?
688
00:34:49,426 --> 00:34:51,470
Oh, nothing
in the world like it,
689
00:34:51,515 --> 00:34:54,142
that trail leading west and a
new challenge every mile of it.
690
00:34:54,184 --> 00:34:56,896
Ever been married, Major?
691
00:34:58,064 --> 00:34:59,732
No, no.
692
00:34:59,772 --> 00:35:03,359
I, uh, I thought about it
a time or two,
693
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,362
but... just didn't work out.
694
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,154
I don't know how a man
can ask a woman
695
00:35:09,196 --> 00:35:10,823
to share a life like this.
696
00:35:10,866 --> 00:35:12,910
Yeah, that's the way I feel.
697
00:35:12,952 --> 00:35:15,371
A woman needs
a house and a garden,
698
00:35:15,407 --> 00:35:17,118
curtains and closets.
699
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:19,096
A wandering man's
a wandering man.
700
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,598
He don't need those things.
701
00:35:20,622 --> 00:35:22,834
You know, Shad,
702
00:35:22,875 --> 00:35:24,127
even a wandering man,
703
00:35:24,168 --> 00:35:25,962
he can get lonely
once in a while.
704
00:35:27,964 --> 00:35:31,592
Major, I'll be
leaving before dawn.
705
00:35:31,635 --> 00:35:33,763
I wonder if you'd do me a favor.
706
00:35:33,805 --> 00:35:35,223
Sure.
707
00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:36,843
Would you tell Jenny
708
00:35:36,884 --> 00:35:38,678
that I am a wandering man.
709
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,013
I wouldn't make
much of a husband.
710
00:35:41,058 --> 00:35:44,145
Would you tell her that I
am a quack and a fraud?
711
00:35:44,186 --> 00:35:48,122
Shad, I think she knows that.
712
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:49,522
She doesn't care.
713
00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:51,399
No, she doesn't know.
714
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,863
Would you do
something else for me?
715
00:35:55,899 --> 00:35:57,025
Mm-hmm.
716
00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:58,402
Would you tell Winfy
717
00:35:58,443 --> 00:36:00,572
that I wouldn't make
much of a father?
718
00:36:00,614 --> 00:36:03,033
I wouldn't even know
how to begin.
719
00:36:03,075 --> 00:36:05,452
You don't have to tell
him I'm a fraud.
720
00:36:05,530 --> 00:36:07,741
Won't make a goldarn
bit of difference
721
00:36:07,782 --> 00:36:10,202
what I tell that boy.
722
00:36:12,457 --> 00:36:14,042
Well.
723
00:36:14,084 --> 00:36:15,878
Good-bye, Major.
724
00:36:15,918 --> 00:36:17,712
Thanks for letting me
work your train.
725
00:36:17,753 --> 00:36:19,964
Oh, it's a pleasure
to have had you aboard...
726
00:36:20,007 --> 00:36:21,341
Doctor.
727
00:36:21,383 --> 00:36:23,051
Good luck to you.
728
00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,736
Shad, wait!
729
00:36:53,779 --> 00:36:55,447
Shad!
730
00:36:56,872 --> 00:36:59,208
Hyah!
731
00:37:04,745 --> 00:37:07,060
How do you find a little boy
732
00:37:07,084 --> 00:37:09,212
in a city as big
as San Francisco,
733
00:37:09,253 --> 00:37:11,672
seven years old,
three and a half feet high?
734
00:37:11,746 --> 00:37:14,082
We went up one street
and down another.
735
00:37:14,123 --> 00:37:15,693
We went down to the bay.
736
00:37:15,717 --> 00:37:17,552
We went back up
Market Street again.
737
00:37:17,594 --> 00:37:19,721
Nobody had seen
a lost little boy.
738
00:37:19,763 --> 00:37:22,724
It never occurred to me
to call in the experts,
739
00:37:22,798 --> 00:37:26,760
but fortunately the experts
came to the rescue anyway.
740
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,095
He's been out in the
cold and the damp
741
00:37:29,136 --> 00:37:30,407
on the streets all night.
742
00:37:30,431 --> 00:37:31,641
How are you, sonny?
743
00:37:31,683 --> 00:37:33,559
I don't feel good, Major Adams.
744
00:37:33,601 --> 00:37:36,062
Oh, will fix that up all right.
You just go with Wooster.
745
00:37:36,099 --> 00:37:37,892
I'll put him to bed, Major.
746
00:37:37,934 --> 00:37:40,354
Why did you run off barefooted
and in your nightshirt?
747
00:37:41,523 --> 00:37:43,584
We picked him up
about an hour ago.
748
00:37:43,608 --> 00:37:45,652
He says his name is
Winfy Bennington,
749
00:37:45,692 --> 00:37:47,277
and he's looking for his father,
750
00:37:47,318 --> 00:37:49,320
Shadrack Bennington.
751
00:37:49,362 --> 00:37:52,324
Well, his name happens
to be Winfy Robertson.
752
00:37:52,368 --> 00:37:54,745
He's the grandson
of Hundley Robertson.
753
00:37:54,787 --> 00:37:57,764
Ho ho ho! Hundley Robertson.
Well, now!
754
00:37:57,788 --> 00:38:00,602
I brought him all the way
from St. Joe.
755
00:38:00,626 --> 00:38:02,044
Well done. Well done, sir.
756
00:38:02,086 --> 00:38:03,879
I'm Major Adams.
Nice to know you.
757
00:38:03,921 --> 00:38:06,091
Do you happen to know
where the Robertsons live?
758
00:38:06,126 --> 00:38:07,377
Aye, that I do.
759
00:38:07,419 --> 00:38:09,004
Would you stop by
Mr. Robertson's house
760
00:38:09,045 --> 00:38:10,964
and tell him I've got
the boy down here
761
00:38:11,008 --> 00:38:12,718
and ask him to bring a doctor?
762
00:38:12,759 --> 00:38:13,969
I'll certainly do that, sir,
763
00:38:14,011 --> 00:38:15,304
tend to it right away.
764
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,649
He's a very sick
little boy, Mr. Robertson.
765
00:38:25,692 --> 00:38:27,962
The first thing to do
is to get him home
766
00:38:27,986 --> 00:38:29,696
and put him in a proper bed.
767
00:38:29,738 --> 00:38:32,199
WINFY: I wanna stay here.
I don't wanna go away.
768
00:38:34,330 --> 00:38:35,497
Winfy..
769
00:38:38,498 --> 00:38:40,459
There's no place to stay here.
770
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,169
The wagon train's all disbanded.
771
00:38:42,210 --> 00:38:43,713
No more wagons.
772
00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:45,631
I have to wait for Shad.
773
00:38:45,675 --> 00:38:47,552
Shad's gone.
774
00:38:47,594 --> 00:38:51,264
He'll be back.
He said. Tomorrow.
775
00:38:51,309 --> 00:38:53,329
No, he won't be back.
776
00:38:53,353 --> 00:38:55,167
He won't?
777
00:38:55,191 --> 00:38:57,569
No, he asked me to say
good-bye for him.
778
00:39:00,533 --> 00:39:02,702
He'll come back
and visit you, Winfy.
779
00:39:03,703 --> 00:39:06,247
Shad'll come back,
don't you worry.
780
00:39:07,383 --> 00:39:09,011
Who is Shad?
781
00:39:10,423 --> 00:39:12,467
He's a friend. He's a...
782
00:39:12,509 --> 00:39:16,304
He's a very special friend
of your grandson.
783
00:39:17,984 --> 00:39:20,821
Here we go. Here we go.
784
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:22,860
There you are, Mr. Robertson.
785
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:23,986
Thank you, Major.
786
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,683
You're welcome, I'm sure.
787
00:39:25,707 --> 00:39:27,459
Thank you, Doctor.
Thank you, Major.
788
00:39:27,501 --> 00:39:30,087
So long, Winfy.
789
00:39:34,512 --> 00:39:35,930
How's Winfy?
790
00:39:35,973 --> 00:39:38,202
Oh, he's a pretty sick
little kid, Jenny.
791
00:39:38,226 --> 00:39:41,854
Oh, uh, Jenny, I got
a message for you from Shad.
792
00:39:43,733 --> 00:39:45,944
It was good-bye, wasn't it?
793
00:39:45,987 --> 00:39:48,384
Well, he said a lot
of other things, too.
794
00:39:48,408 --> 00:39:51,452
He had quite a few words
mixed up in it,
795
00:39:51,496 --> 00:39:54,707
but, uh... well, yes,
it was good-bye.
796
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,051
It's funny how old you
can grow overnight, isn't it?
797
00:40:00,096 --> 00:40:03,975
Yesterday I really
seemed... quite young.
798
00:40:04,016 --> 00:40:06,185
You'll find
somebody else, Jenny.
799
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:11,924
What a day, what
a day, what a day.
800
00:40:11,948 --> 00:40:14,200
What... give me that!
801
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:17,331
What did I do?
802
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:18,600
Nothing!
803
00:40:18,624 --> 00:40:21,289
I knew goldurn well
I shouldn't let
804
00:40:21,313 --> 00:40:23,440
that fool doctor
and his fake lion
805
00:40:23,482 --> 00:40:24,901
on this train.
806
00:40:24,971 --> 00:40:26,139
What'd he do?
807
00:40:26,181 --> 00:40:27,950
Nothing, absolutely nothing!
808
00:40:27,974 --> 00:40:29,267
That's what the trouble is.
809
00:40:29,309 --> 00:40:30,643
Now, go and get packed.
810
00:40:39,624 --> 00:40:40,988
He's sinking.
811
00:40:41,012 --> 00:40:43,348
There's no point
in keeping it from you.
812
00:40:43,390 --> 00:40:45,600
He's not responding
to medication at all.
813
00:40:47,221 --> 00:40:50,100
What am I to do, Major?
What am I to do?
814
00:40:50,144 --> 00:40:52,021
Haven't you been able
to locate Bennington?
815
00:40:52,062 --> 00:40:54,440
No, we've looked
all over for him.
816
00:40:54,482 --> 00:40:57,513
Just seems like he's
disappeared, that's all.
817
00:40:57,537 --> 00:41:00,623
Well, I've done
everything I know how.
818
00:41:00,659 --> 00:41:02,871
Well, if you can't do
anything to help him,
819
00:41:02,913 --> 00:41:05,811
what do you think Shad
could do, even if we found him?
820
00:41:05,835 --> 00:41:09,130
Maybe if he was here, this
little boy would want to live.
821
00:41:15,886 --> 00:41:18,555
Then I'll find him.
822
00:41:20,444 --> 00:41:22,571
I knew you'd come back for me.
823
00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:24,406
Sure you did.
824
00:41:24,448 --> 00:41:26,311
Can we go now?
825
00:41:26,335 --> 00:41:28,046
When you get well.
826
00:41:28,087 --> 00:41:29,964
You won't go off
without me again?
827
00:41:30,041 --> 00:41:33,187
No, I won't go off without you,
828
00:41:33,211 --> 00:41:35,505
but you gotta get well quick.
829
00:41:35,548 --> 00:41:39,760
I will. Give me
some Beneficent Balm.
830
00:41:39,803 --> 00:41:42,701
Oh, you got much better things
to take than that.
831
00:41:42,725 --> 00:41:44,185
Please, Shad.
832
00:41:44,227 --> 00:41:45,895
It cures everything.
833
00:41:47,532 --> 00:41:49,200
You don't understand.
834
00:41:52,706 --> 00:41:56,043
May I speak to you
a minute, Dr. Bennington?
835
00:41:58,171 --> 00:42:00,465
You do as the boy asks.
836
00:42:00,511 --> 00:42:03,138
Well, I can't give
him my medicine.
837
00:42:03,180 --> 00:42:04,431
You don't understand.
838
00:42:04,473 --> 00:42:06,085
I'm not a doctor; I'm a quack.
839
00:42:06,109 --> 00:42:07,819
I'm a medicine man.
840
00:42:07,861 --> 00:42:10,239
Is there anything in your
medicine that would harm the boy?
841
00:42:10,348 --> 00:42:12,434
Well, no, but there's
nothing that'll help him.
842
00:42:12,475 --> 00:42:13,977
He thinks there is.
843
00:42:14,019 --> 00:42:16,438
I've seen faith
perform miracles before.
844
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,234
I can't give Winfy that junk.
845
00:42:20,258 --> 00:42:22,385
Dr. Bennington,
we have nothing to lose
846
00:42:22,426 --> 00:42:23,719
and everything to gain.
847
00:42:48,424 --> 00:42:50,509
Now I'll get well.
848
00:42:50,553 --> 00:42:52,388
You won't go away?
849
00:42:52,430 --> 00:42:55,224
No, no, I won't go away.
850
00:42:55,269 --> 00:42:57,355
And you'll take me with you?
851
00:42:57,397 --> 00:42:59,441
As soon as you get well.
852
00:43:18,437 --> 00:43:21,253
Skin feels cooler.
His breathing is regular.
853
00:43:21,277 --> 00:43:23,255
I think he's going to make it.
854
00:43:23,279 --> 00:43:25,448
Well, what do you know.
855
00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:27,527
Bennington's Balm is good?
856
00:43:27,569 --> 00:43:30,766
Thank you, Dr. Bennington.
You saved my grandson's life.
857
00:43:30,790 --> 00:43:33,418
Be good to him.
He's a nice little boy.
858
00:43:33,460 --> 00:43:35,442
Hey, hey. Hold up there, Shad.
859
00:43:35,466 --> 00:43:37,051
Where do you think you're going?
860
00:43:37,092 --> 00:43:38,594
You don't need me now.
861
00:43:38,636 --> 00:43:40,450
Oh? Major Adams
and I have been talking.
862
00:43:40,474 --> 00:43:42,309
Dr. Bennington.
863
00:43:43,602 --> 00:43:44,787
I'm an old man.
864
00:43:44,811 --> 00:43:46,522
Winfy's father and mother died
865
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,310
when he was just a baby.
866
00:43:48,352 --> 00:43:50,173
He's been living
with his mother's folks.
867
00:43:50,197 --> 00:43:53,283
He's been surrounded by
old people all his life.
868
00:43:53,325 --> 00:43:55,786
He needs a young father.
869
00:43:55,830 --> 00:43:57,957
There's no room
for children in my life.
870
00:43:57,999 --> 00:43:59,543
They have to go to school.
871
00:43:59,585 --> 00:44:01,962
Oh, I expect you to see
that he goes to school.
872
00:44:02,008 --> 00:44:03,051
There's laws about that.
873
00:44:03,093 --> 00:44:05,990
But I travel around.
874
00:44:06,014 --> 00:44:07,265
Well, that's all right.
875
00:44:07,307 --> 00:44:08,809
When you have to leave town,
876
00:44:08,850 --> 00:44:10,477
Winfy can come and stay with me,
877
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:12,168
but his home will be with you.
878
00:44:12,192 --> 00:44:13,485
I haven't got a home.
879
00:44:13,527 --> 00:44:15,237
I live in a wagon with a lion
880
00:44:15,279 --> 00:44:16,674
that, uh, thinks he owns me.
881
00:44:16,698 --> 00:44:19,409
How marvelous.
882
00:44:19,450 --> 00:44:21,994
No wonder Winfy wants
to live with you.
883
00:44:22,039 --> 00:44:23,666
Take him with you.
884
00:44:23,708 --> 00:44:25,961
I'll make it worth your while.
885
00:44:26,004 --> 00:44:27,381
You can't buy me.
886
00:44:27,423 --> 00:44:29,591
I'm not trying to buy you.
887
00:44:29,633 --> 00:44:33,032
I'm trying to buy
a childhood for Winfy.
888
00:44:33,056 --> 00:44:34,558
But I'm a medicine man.
889
00:44:34,599 --> 00:44:36,518
You don't know the kind
of life I lead!
890
00:44:36,561 --> 00:44:39,541
Dr. Bennington, my father was
891
00:44:39,565 --> 00:44:42,651
Dr. Elwood Spence Robertson.
892
00:44:42,695 --> 00:44:45,656
Does that name mean
anything at all to you?
893
00:44:45,702 --> 00:44:48,079
Elwood Spence's...
894
00:44:48,121 --> 00:44:50,529
Spence's Lotion of Life?
895
00:44:50,553 --> 00:44:51,804
That's right.
896
00:44:51,846 --> 00:44:54,306
I was fortunate enough
to live in a wagon
897
00:44:54,348 --> 00:44:56,559
for a few years
when I was a boy.
898
00:44:56,604 --> 00:44:59,023
Your father was supposed
to be one of the best.
899
00:44:59,065 --> 00:45:01,025
My father was the best.
900
00:45:01,068 --> 00:45:03,548
Why, he started a whole
patent medicine business
901
00:45:03,572 --> 00:45:04,948
out of Lotion of Life,
902
00:45:04,990 --> 00:45:07,220
and do you know
what that lotion was?
903
00:45:07,244 --> 00:45:10,456
Water with a little
sugar added for flavor,
904
00:45:10,501 --> 00:45:13,129
and a little alcohol
to give it bite.
905
00:45:13,171 --> 00:45:17,301
So your old man
was a quack himself.
906
00:45:17,344 --> 00:45:20,556
Well, he was stealing
money from people.
907
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,977
Was he? Think about it a minute.
908
00:45:23,019 --> 00:45:25,730
The lotion cost
a dollar a bottle,
909
00:45:25,774 --> 00:45:27,275
and for that dollar,
910
00:45:27,318 --> 00:45:29,612
his customers saw a good show.
911
00:45:29,653 --> 00:45:32,239
Maybe his medicine
didn't cure them.
912
00:45:32,284 --> 00:45:34,596
He never claimed it did.
913
00:45:34,620 --> 00:45:37,623
He just said it was
good for what ailed them.
914
00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:39,629
It would make them feel better.
915
00:45:40,676 --> 00:45:42,178
And usually it did.
916
00:45:42,220 --> 00:45:46,085
So you see, my boy,
I do understand you.
917
00:45:46,109 --> 00:45:48,087
You don't understand me.
918
00:45:48,111 --> 00:45:49,780
I don't like to be tied down.
919
00:45:49,821 --> 00:45:51,948
I don't like responsibilities.
920
00:45:51,982 --> 00:45:55,632
Shad, are you the kind
of a man that would...
921
00:45:55,656 --> 00:45:57,616
That would lie to a little boy
922
00:45:57,658 --> 00:45:59,910
that was practically
lying on his deathbed?
923
00:45:59,952 --> 00:46:02,408
That was yesterday.
This is another day.
924
00:46:02,432 --> 00:46:05,478
Yeah, I know, but next time
he goes chasing after you,
925
00:46:05,587 --> 00:46:08,924
he might get sick and then
maybe I won't be able to find you.
926
00:46:08,966 --> 00:46:10,092
Then what?
927
00:46:10,133 --> 00:46:12,219
Major, he's a baby.
He needs a woman.
928
00:46:12,264 --> 00:46:14,349
I'm a nomad,
a gypsy, a bachelor.
929
00:46:14,391 --> 00:46:18,510
Oh, say, I'm glad
you mentioned that, my boy.
930
00:46:18,534 --> 00:46:21,370
Excuse me, Mr. Robertson,
I want to talk to you.
931
00:46:21,413 --> 00:46:23,999
Well, I don't want
to talk to you about it.
932
00:46:24,041 --> 00:46:25,501
You just listen here.
933
00:46:25,545 --> 00:46:28,315
♪ From the time that I
was just so high ♪
934
00:46:28,339 --> 00:46:30,537
♪ I led a carefree life ♪
935
00:46:30,561 --> 00:46:33,272
♪ As I traveled round
from town to town ♪
936
00:46:33,314 --> 00:46:35,775
♪ Alone, without a wife ♪
937
00:46:35,854 --> 00:46:38,332
♪ Used to raise my head
from off my bed ♪
938
00:46:38,356 --> 00:46:40,608
♪ Hitch up my horse and go ♪
939
00:46:40,655 --> 00:46:43,284
♪ Didn't matter where,
'cause who was there ♪
940
00:46:43,325 --> 00:46:45,689
♪ To tell me yes or no ♪
941
00:46:45,713 --> 00:46:48,550
♪ Shadrack Bennington ♪
942
00:46:48,591 --> 00:46:50,593
♪ This can't be you ♪
943
00:46:50,639 --> 00:46:53,100
♪ Good or bad, one thing, Shad ♪
944
00:46:53,141 --> 00:46:54,994
♪ Your roaming days
are through ♪
945
00:46:55,018 --> 00:46:57,981
♪ Used to watch the birds,
the lazy herds ♪
946
00:46:58,057 --> 00:46:59,893
♪ That grazed around the plain ♪
947
00:46:59,934 --> 00:47:02,896
♪ And I vowed I'd stay
the same as they ♪
948
00:47:02,939 --> 00:47:05,178
♪ But it was all in vain ♪
949
00:47:05,202 --> 00:47:07,955
♪ 'Cause unlike a cow,
a gal knows how ♪
950
00:47:07,997 --> 00:47:09,851
♪ To buckle down her mate ♪
951
00:47:09,875 --> 00:47:12,544
♪ By the time she's done
you wanna run ♪
952
00:47:12,589 --> 00:47:14,859
♪ But, brother,
you're too late ♪
953
00:47:14,883 --> 00:47:18,136
♪ Oh, Shadrack Bennington ♪
954
00:47:18,179 --> 00:47:20,181
♪ This can't be you ♪
955
00:47:20,227 --> 00:47:22,564
♪ Good or bad, one thing, Shad ♪
956
00:47:22,606 --> 00:47:26,610
♪ Your roaming days
are through ♪
957
00:47:31,129 --> 00:47:34,860
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
this fine lad
958
00:47:34,884 --> 00:47:38,220
who stands before you
is a marvelous example
959
00:47:38,264 --> 00:47:40,099
of the wondrous curative powers
960
00:47:40,141 --> 00:47:43,227
of Dr. Bennington's
Beneficent Balm.
961
00:47:43,271 --> 00:47:45,231
Well, here comes the pitch.
962
00:47:45,276 --> 00:47:48,030
Let's get out of here
before Charlie stocks up again.
963
00:47:48,071 --> 00:47:49,531
You broke my last bottle.
964
00:47:49,573 --> 00:47:51,408
You've had your cure
for this year.
965
00:47:51,489 --> 00:47:53,407
Now, go on and get the horses.
966
00:47:53,449 --> 00:47:57,814
This magic potion
unless you are in great need.
967
00:47:57,838 --> 00:48:02,886
And so, will you pass on
this magic medicinal potion
968
00:48:02,931 --> 00:48:05,475
to the world
in the name of Allah,
969
00:48:05,517 --> 00:48:08,413
and that is why
we can pass it on to you
970
00:48:08,437 --> 00:48:10,314
at the nominal cost of $1
971
00:48:10,358 --> 00:48:12,253
to cover packaging
and importation...
972
00:48:12,277 --> 00:48:14,655
MAJOR ADAMS: It had been good
to start off,
973
00:48:14,696 --> 00:48:16,782
and it was good to wind up.
974
00:48:16,824 --> 00:48:20,233
We'd been over 200 wagons
when we'd left St. Joe,
975
00:48:20,257 --> 00:48:22,468
and we'd sloughed
through prairie mud,
976
00:48:22,509 --> 00:48:25,722
fought Indians, wild animals,
hunger, thirst,
977
00:48:25,799 --> 00:48:29,803
and, now and then regrettably,
ourselves.
978
00:48:29,844 --> 00:48:32,347
We had set our sinew
and our wheels
979
00:48:32,392 --> 00:48:34,119
against storm and flood,
980
00:48:34,143 --> 00:48:36,981
the Rockies, the desert,
the Sierras,
981
00:48:37,058 --> 00:48:38,643
and would we do it again?
982
00:48:38,685 --> 00:48:40,682
You bet your boots we would.
983
00:48:40,706 --> 00:48:42,291
Just a little rest,
984
00:48:42,333 --> 00:48:44,770
and we'd all be right back
where we started.
985
00:48:44,794 --> 00:48:47,755
I'd be blistering
Charlie and Bill and Flint,
986
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,343
blistering the greenhorns,
987
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:51,471
calling out
to the straggling wagons
988
00:48:51,548 --> 00:48:55,790
the words that have become,
somehow, the pivot of my life,
989
00:48:55,814 --> 00:48:59,985
"Wagons ho!"
71666
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