Original subtitles

Previously…

Since they're best friends now, we can hang out, right?

- Yes. - I just want to fuck.

Okay, sure.

- Let's go to your place. - Yes. No. I live with my parents.

He's crazy about you.

Let's go to yours. You said you live nearby.

Who the fuck are you? What are you doing in my house?

- She's with me. - This is a fucking joke.

Do you think it's normal coming round at this time?

I want my box.

You know those low-rise thongs turn me on.

My first fine lingerie after giving birth.

- Are we really doing this? - Yes.

- We will be nap-friends. - It was too hard trying to be…

We still have time to cancel and go have something at the bar.

No way. We are tired of arguing about the agreement.

Don't be afraid. These people are all bark and no bite.

Look at this office. Pretentious, fusty.

Ugh. And they ain't got nothing to do either, let me tell you.

I just want this to end, and fast.

Are you sure about this?

Yes, yes, Cris and I have talked, and everything is fine.

We want to sign it and be over with it.

Be careful with the dictator. She's a bastard, huh?

Just let us do the talking. We know how to handle her.

Well…

- Wow, it's been a while. - Yes.

I'm so glad to see you again, Francisca.

- Yes, we were big fans of your lectures. - You rookies make me feel so old.

Well, we have been working for quite a few years now.

Indeed, we represent de Ferres, the Noguera group as well...

Very interesting. Where's the party at?

- Cris, how are you? - Hi. Good, good.

- And you? - Good. Good as well.

Jeesh, it's so hard to park around here, huh?

- Yes. It's a bad time. And a bad area too. - All bad.

These two have fucked.

No, no. There's bad blood between them.

Those are the best fucks.

SHARED CUSTODY

Episode 7 NEGOTIATING

Thanks.

Well, we all agree that custody will be alternated weekly

thanks to your client, María Cristina Soriano,

who finally listened to reason.

Now, we should see if we need special conditions for conflicting days.

For example, for our client, the Epiphany holiday is very important.

Darling, call him Diego, he's your brother.

I get that newbies want to look very professional,

but let's leave the pleasantries aside and get to the point, colleagues.

Most people get Christmas day for one and Epiphany for the other.

- It's always the same shit. - Well, not for our daughter.

♪ Santa Claus, Santa Claus ♪

♪ Is so forgetful! He brought the presents from last year, hey! ♪

- ♪ A punctured ball ♪ - ♪ A chewed chewing gum ♪

♪ And the Athletic Bilbao underwear ♪

- Good! Good! Good! - Very good!

Well done!

We would like to sell the bar and with that money,

buy a small flat in Torrevieja. It's Carmen's life dream.

They say the water there is terrible.

Oh.

I'm thinking about taking over my parents' bar now that I left my job.

They didn't fire me, okay? No, no. I left. They were a useless lot.

It would have been better if they had fired you,

that way you would get a severance package.

I got it.

I mean, I forced them to fire me. I wanted to leave.

- Sure. - Sure.

And would you be able to buy the bar with that severance?

No. The severance money will be to refurbish the bar, you know?

I will pay my parents in installments. It's not like they needed the money.

Cris, what are you doing? Come on, come here, come on.

I'm going, wait a moment.

- Are you ready? - Yes, yes, honey.

Let's get to it.

Kids, are you ready?

Yes!

Look who is here. Look.

- Ho, ho, ho! - Santa!

- Santa! - Santa!

- Ho, ho, ho, ho! - Santa Claus!

Alberto?

What is this?

- Santa! - Santa.

- It's fine, honey, it's fine. - But, Diego?

- What kind of screw-up is that? - Ho, ho, ho, ho!

- It's fine. - Unbelievable.

I told you my mom was going to dress as Santa.

No, Cris, you didn't.

For crying out loud. I told you. You didn't tell me.

No, excuse me, I actually told you, but you never listen to me.

Yeah, no, the issue is that you do

whatever you feel like without consulting me.

No, excuse me, but you are the one doing your own thing. It's you.

Mom, why are there two Santas?

We told her Santa is from Finland,

he doesn't come this far, and that's why people dress up as him.

Cris, you know how important this day is for me.

It's my birthday, and the only holiday when all my family gets together.

Yes, all our uncles from Pamplona come as well.

And the cousins from Mallorca.

Fine, she can spend the Epiphany with you.

But I would like some time with her to give her presents.

- Yes, yes, yes, sure, of course. - Great, great, perfect.

That's the right attitude.

If we keep going like this, it will be a piece of cake.

Look, we stopped taking family cases

and focused on corporate ones because of all the drama, all right?

Oh, yeah. There was a couple who argued a whole day

about whether their kid could do the first communion or not.

For us, that's not an issue. Cloe is not even baptized.

- She is, isn't she? - No.

I had the feeling she was.

- You got confused, Mario, quite confused. - Yeah, I guess it's that.

- What's going on? - No.

Can someone tell me what is happening here?

Nothing, there's nothing happening, Cris, no…

It's… a silly thing, don't…

Do you therefore wish for the child to be baptized

in the faith of the Church

- we have just professed? - Yes, I do.

I now baptize you in the name

and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,

with the name…

- Cloe. - María Cloe.

I baptize you, María Cloe,

for you are now a new creation and have been clothed with Christ.

- I know you are mad at me. - No, Diego,

you have no fucking clue how mad I am right now.

- How could you let her do that? - No, she did it behind my back.

By the time I found out, she was already baptized.

- I couldn't do anything either. - You should have told me.

Hiding it from me is even worse than what your mother did.

Well, I'm sorry. I only wanted to save you the upset.

Excuse me, for who? For who? For me? For your mother? For yourself?

You know what the problem is? That you are a coward.

- Okay, next point? - What next point?

Next point. We're going back to the previous one.

I'm not so sure about the Epiphany anymore.

No, Cris, Cris, Cris, please, don't let my mother affect this, please.

I'm letting your mother affect this?

She baptized my daughter without my consent.

Okay, okay, but don't you see that,

if we don't come to an agreement because of this,

then you would be letting her affect our lives again?

Again, again, again.

Very good, kid, what a way to turn the tables.

- You know what I say to that? - Should we take a break

so we can all take a breath, mm?

Yes. Let's take a breather, because…

I need air, honestly, I mean, no…

"Kombucha," what is this shit? Does it have alcohol in it?

It's fermented tea.

Lawyer offices are not what they used to be.

Don't you have anything fun?

- I know where there's some. - Wait, I'm coming with you.

I always thought your father was the asshole,

but your mother doesn't fall short, huh?

Some more fun.

Don't be shy. Go for it.

You look familiar. Do you go to Johnny Maracas?

No, no. I was your student.

- With your siblings? - Mm.

How is it that I don't remember you?

Well, I didn't go to class too much, to be honest.

Actually, your subject is the only one I need to complete

- so that I can finish my degree. - You should have said so.

Enroll back and I will gift it to you.

- Thanks, but I don't want to be a lawyer. - You wouldn't be bad at all.

I saw you arguing in your favor and you're pretty good at it.

Yeah, but…

I don't want to be like my father.

Being a lawyer doesn't mean being like your father, or like me.

I'm also an asshole.

Cris, no one knows better than us how annoying our mother is,

but Diego is right. Don't let her spoil this.

How is it going? Don't give anything to that scoundrel

Your brother is too good

Take advantage. You have the reins now. Press him for whatever you want.

You have no idea the mess Mario just made

To lighten things up a bit, let's address an easier point,

extracurriculars.

Cristina wants to take the girl to English class, robotics, and music.

- Diego, to none. What shall we do? - What I said, obviously.

Cris, what kids need is time to play.

Come on. Your real concern is that you can't pay for it.

My concern is that I have my daughter two weeks per month.

I want to spend as much time as possible with her,

not leave her with someone else, like you do.

I want my daughter to be well-educated.

So, in the future, she can afford extracurricular for her children.

Come on. I know that right now you two just want to rip each other's heads off.

But you were a team at some point, right?

I would assume you know how to solve issues.

- We did it wrong. - Diego, I'm an engineer,

I think I can follow directions to put a sofa together.

- What about this screw? - It must have been a mistake.

Or maybe it's a spare, in case you lose one, I don't know.

No way, Cris. Swedes don't get things wrong.

This is gonna end up breaking, you'll see.

I build bridges that don't fall. I think you can trust me on this. Look.

Hey.

It doesn't break! Wow! See? Huh?

You need to give it a proper try, Cris. Like this, like if…

Wow!

Come here, honey. You are so stubborn. Do you want us to give it a proper try?

Come on, let's rock it properly…

…and see if it breaks or not.

Be careful. Careful…

Take that off.

♪ Don't stop pushin' ♪

♪ Let the fire inside of me just keep on burnin' ♪

You know what I like most about fucking you while you're pregnant?

- What? - That we can do it without a condom.

Oh, yeah, I love that.

♪ Keep on dreamin' ♪

Hey.

- What? - Be careful, don't stain the sofa, huh?

Don't worry, I got this.

What used to work before doesn't work now.

We can pay for the extracurricular if you want.

No way.

I think you should take one on the chin, after the baptism fiasco.

- You spilled it! - Shut up!

Look.

You'll have more vested interest in the next battle. Be pragmatic.

Okay, sign her up for whatever you want.

- Good. Good. - Okay. Okay, perfect, okay.

We only have one point left, the hardest one.

The mid-week.

- Our client... - Diego.

Diego…

Diego believes that Cloe is still too young

to spend a whole week without seeing one of her parents.

That's why we propose that the week he doesn't have Cloe,

he can see her one afternoon. Cris will surely agree with this.

Cristina agreed with that.

It was Diego who insisted on alternating weekly

because less time seemed confusing to him.

Because changing every two days is confusing.

It's not the same as, spending one afternoon

with my daughter the week I don't have her.

Look, Diego, I set up all my travel for the week I don't have Cloe.

I won't be able to change plans and enjoy that afternoon.

On top of that, you will take another afternoon from me.

Stop hogging Cloe, like you always do. You're not her only parent.

Me? Hogging Cloe?

- Take that! - The "Jácar" is rising.

No… No!

- So, dangerous! I'm innocent. No! - Mom is finally home!

- Mom! We made up a new game! - Oh, really?

Whoever pushes the other out of the bed wins!

- Okay, okay! No! - That's good.

- Well, here comes the She-Hulk! - No, no, no! You can't, huh? You can't.

- You can't. - What happened?

No one can start fighting without making the salute first.

- What salute? - The warriors' salute.

Oh, let's see.

- She-Hulk is ready to fight! - That was bad.

- Well, it doesn't matter. - It does, we've been practicing all week.

But you weren't here, so… Show her, show her.

- Mom, it's really easy. - Let's see. Come on.

Now, you did it right. Right, Daddy?

Now, it's time. Get ready for She-Hulk's fury!

Come on, bedtime.

- What? Why? - Because it's really late.

- Well. - Come on, give Mommy a kiss.

Come on, a kiss.

- Bye, honey. - A kiss for Mommy.

- Bye. - Gee, Daddy.

Well, honey, She-Hulk should've been here two hours ago

and you should've been in bed a while ago.

Good night. Good night.

No, no, I'm not giving in.

I just gave in about the extracurricular, but I won't back down here.

Let's see, both options are valid. In these cases,

we need to evaluate the benefits and losses of each side.

Losses, benefits, losses.

We are talking about families here,

not company finances. We must think about the girl.

Don't push it, you also have things to hide

Are you threatening me?

Me? Uh, no?

- I think you misunderstood. - What did I miss?

I can't believe how low all of you in this family have stooped.

But look, since we're at it, airing out the dirty laundry,

I'll say it myself, okay? And that way, we all get tainted.

Thanks.

Cristina!

- Hi! What a coincidence! - Jimena!

- What are you doing here? - Not much,

I'm just following your advice and trying your gynecologist.

- Okay! - Yes. My mother's is a bit weird.

All good?

COPPER IUD

- Yes, all good. - Wait.

I thought you were trying for the second.

You used an IUD without telling me?

I don't know, I hope you were using it the other day. You did, right?

Because the last thing I would want now is having another kid with you.

- We finally agree on something! - I knew they had fucked.

Great! Just the one we were missing. Now, we're all here.

- Mom, what are you doing here? - I came to defend you.

Enough of this bullshit.

It seems kids can't be baptized now.

What's the issue?

The issue is that I don't know why you thought

that you could make a decision like that.

- Diego agreed. - No, no, no, that's not true.

Darling, you don't need to lie, you're not with her anymore.

- I'm so excited, María Cloe. - Cloe, Mom. She's Cloe.

I tried to stop it many times.

But you know her, she would do it anyway, so, better to be there, right?

Fuck it, everyone was there. Everyone but the mother!

- No, I… I wasn't there, Cris. - I want you to excommunicate her.

It's not called excommunication, it's called apostasy.

I don't care

what you call it. Take her out of the Church. Fuck this shit.

Shitty family.

Thanks to us the girl won't be going to hell.

Are you coming back?

Are you coming back?

Did your mom leave???

She's about to leave

Come back and let's finally sign this

Put whatever you want in the agreement

I don't care

Of course you don't care

You all will do whatever you want anyway

You're going to wipe your asses with the agreement

Excuse me, but you're in no position to act so high-and-mighty

- You look familiar. - Of course.

I have been fucking your husband for 30 years.

In the courts, darling.

All of you are toxic

You leave me no other option

I'm taking this to COURT!!!

To court?

Pour me a small glass too.

- Where're you going? Where? - I'm grabbing my stuff and leaving.

- No, Cris, we should talk this out now. - There's nothing to talk about.

I'll ask the judge to ban your mother from seeing Cloe.

Well, I really doubt a judge will stop her from seeing her grandma.

We'll see. What you did is probably a crime.

And what you did? Using an IUD without telling me?

What's the matter, Cris?

You were worried you wouldn't be able to work 27 hours per day

- if we had another child? - It was not because of work.

- Then why? - Because I wasn't sure about us.

Fuck, why didn't you tell me so?

You never tell me anything, anything at all.

You have done nothing to stop our family from breaking.

Don't go there, Diego. Don't do it.

Don't you dare blame me for what's happening.

Uh. All right. Uh.

Who suggested that we go to couple's therapy?

I did. Who stopped going after three sessions?

- You. - 'Cause it was all

a drawn-out monologue by you. Or don't you remember?

No, thanks, I don't need to pay 100 euros to hear the same bullshit

- you give me at home. - Well, Cris...

Not even the shrink could get a word in edgewise.

No, I did let her talk, but at the start, it's supposed to be like that,

to tell her your version of the situation. Your version, your thing,

your… your… your stuff. Huh?

Don't you think that would've been a good time to mention the IUD? Huh?

Because you couldn't get yourself to leave me, I don't know.

I used the IUD because I didn't know how to tell you that I didn't want more kids.

And you were so fucking insistent that we should get another one.

- "Another one. Another one." Right. - No, no, you know what your issue is?

When people don't say what you want to hear, you don't listen.

- I do listen, Cris. Yes, I do. - No, come on,

you didn't even listen to the shrink!

Excuse me, I do listen to Pepa, huh? I'm still seeing her.

- I carried on going, unlike others, yeah. - Oh, you did? Right.

- And she helped me realize many things. - Oh, really? What did you realize?

Well, I realized that… that you never apologize, Cris.

You never apologize because that would be admitting your mistakes.

You never say thanks. When do you ever say thanks?

Never, because that would be admitting that other people are right.

- And well, opening up to others, that's… - What?

- …that's scary, right? Being vulnerable. - I mean, wait a second.

Does any part of the therapy

- involve talking about you? - Of course.

Or was it just about bad-mouthing me?

'Cause it sure sounds like you have no flaws.

- Of course I do, Cris. Well… - Yes? Let's see, what do you do wrong?

- I… You see, for example… - What do you do wrong?

…I put the needs of others before my own.

Yes, and I lie, that's true, I said it. I lie to avoid hurting others.

And I have a sense of justice so damn overdeveloped

that it gives me a lot of trouble, and you know it.

Oh, watch out! We have a superhero here!

I mean, your flaw is being too good, got it.

You know what? Maybe that's my flaw, being too good.

That's why everyone takes advantage of me. Everyone takes advantage of me.

Poor Diego. Poor thing.

You know what I realized in therapy as well?

- What? - That I wasn't happy with you, Cris.

Would you look at that, something we agree on.

- I wasn't happy with you either. - I know, I know.

It's unbearable to live with you. I mean, you wouldn't let me breathe.

You suffocated me,

always telling me how to do things, always judging me.

Yes, I felt like I was under constant examination.

Cris, what are you talking about?

You're the one asking too much of yourself.

- You alone, you. - Yeah, sure. Of course.

Jesus, you need to be the best at everything.

The best student, the best engineer, the best, the best…

Except the best mother.

Finally, huh? You finally said it.

You've been thinking it for five years

and you finally dare to say, "I'm a bad mother."

No, that's not exactly what I said, Cris.

But it's what you think.

Yes, a bit.

Do you realize how much you missed of Cloe? Do you?

I mean, do you know how hard it is for someone like me to get where I am?

For what?

What the fuck do you have to prove? To who? To who?

Diego, my parents worked themselves to death for me to have a degree

and two masters. Okay? Not all of us are born rich like you.

Do you think I don't think I'm a bad mother too?

You know how hard it is for me?

You can't even imagine how guilty I feel for not giving more of my time to Cloe,

and for missing out on so many moments.

There was no need for you to constantly remind me.

I would have liked some support, but you just made it harder,

- Diego, always. - Harder, Cris? Really, harder?

I couldn't have made it any easier for you, dammit.

I took care of everything, Cris. Everything.

I don't know, should I applaud you for never being at home or what?

No, no need for applause, Diego.

Just for you to not make me feel like I didn't belong when I got home

- would have been enough. - What are you talking about? What?

What am I talking about? Admit it, Diego. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Admit it. You liked to leave me out when I arrived home,

it was your way of punishing me. That's what you used to do.

Cris, if you could only admit that you are a workaholic, dammit.

Because you are addicted to work, aren't you?

Oh, man. It's so easy for you who never needed to worry about money.

- Yes. No, no, I mean, it's… - Okay, carry on. Let's go.

Come on, carry on. Right.

When your parents didn't take care of you, I did.

You know what?

I wish you took care of me a bit less and actually cared for me a bit more.

You believe that you are the only one who cares.

Or actually, that your way of caring is the only way.

Well, Cris, if I don't feel loved, maybe your way of loving is not that good.

Excuse me, but you need to be loved the way you want.

And you ask for too much, Diego, way too much.

- Well, because I also give too much. - But I didn't ask for it, Diego.

I don't need someone to constantly pay attention to me!

Well, I do. Dammit, I do. What's the issue?!

- Because you're spoiled. - Spoiled?

Cris, you don't know how lucky you are for having a family like yours.

Who loves you, who cares for you, who is there.

I'm not only losing you, Cris.

I also lose your parents, who treated me like their son, dammit.

And I won't have them.

They will always love you, Diego.

And your nephews. You will always be Uncle Diego.

You know it's not the same.

Dammit, I only wanted to have a family like… like yours.

For Cloe, that's why I don't want to be like my father.

Because in the end, you're the one who is like him.

Fuck, man, I mean…

You've been so obsessed with not becoming your father

that you didn't realize you became your mother,

- which is much worse. Much worse. - Again with my mother, Cris.

You are obsessed with my mother, dammit! My mother, my mother!

Don't you see that my mother is a poor woman that no one listens to?

She doesn't know anything. Her husband avoids her, her children,

they just ignore her because they can't stand her.

And getting involved in everything might be her way of asking

for someone to love her.

Like you, Diego. Like you.

- Go fuck yourself, Cristina. - You go fuck yourself!

If we go to court, I will ask for sole custody of Cloe.

I doubt they will give custody to a slacker like you.