Original subtitles

I'm really not in the mood to go out partying.

Just go out sometime, get wasted, and forget everything for a while.

Previously…

What's up? How are you Cristóbal?

- You really are something! - Yeah.

Getting divorced is the best thing

that could have happened to us, I'm telling you.

The vibes have changed, huh?

I think we're the ones who've changed.

Sisters! Sisters! Sisters!

The night is young, you guys!

I'd like to dedicate this song to a girl named Cris.

Night is young! Night is young!

Let me get us kebabs.

Our legendary experience is incomplete unless you finish it eating kebabs!

FOR SALE

The fucking end of an era.

DATING, HOOK-UPS, FRIENDS…

DOWNLOADING

BROWSE INCOGNITO

I'm telling you it's around here.

Cris, Cris, you hear it?

- Mom, I'm asleep. - That noise I told you about,

- I just heard it. - I don't hear anything.

I'm telling you, I keep hearing it. I heard it last night.

Every night, I hear it more.

Well, there must be a mosquito in here, Mom.

A mosquito…

Excuse me?

Will you come to bed, Carmen? There's no noise!

I'm telling you there is!

You can't hear it because you're half deaf.

You need to go to the doctor.

- Want the light off, dear? - Yeah, that would be just wonderful.

SHARED CUSTODY

Episode 6 DATING

Oh, dear lord. Come on, get up.

You overslept,

- you'll be late for school. - Mom, I didn't oversleep.

I set the alarm for later because I couldn't sleep last night.

Next time, tell me. I have a pill for that.

What a mess you've made in here.

Mom, leave that there. Leave it. I'll do it later.

What's the matter? Are you congested?

No, no, no. Not those. Leave that, Mom. Uh…

Please, they're full of snot. Don't!

All your boogers I've binned in my lifetime,

you think it's gonna bother me now?

SECULAR CHARTER SCHOOL

I have to get out of my parents' house. I can't take it anymore.

I can't take it!

- Why? Did you guys have a fight? - No, it's not that.

I'm just sick of not having my own place.

Stop complaining and do something. Get any job that'll have you.

- Yeah. - Hey! Hi, my love.

You know, you're right. Thanks, dude.

I could start sweeping the sidewalks if I have to.

- Daddy! Daddy! - Right, sweep them clean!

Ah!

Can we go play at the park with Julia?

- Who's Julia? - My new best friend in the whole world.

Oh, of course, yeah. But first we have to ask

your new best friend in the whole world's parents.

It'd be my pleasure.

- Oh, hi, it's Sara. - Hi, uh…

Well, yeah, Diego. Pleasure.

Hi, Julia.

You tell me how it's possible to be a freelancer and divorced.

I can't wait till I have a real salary.

For sure. I'm also separated.

- Ah? - And I'm a freelancer too. So, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

How long does it even take to get a government position? I don't…

Well, the application process,

getting a spot, then taking the exam, earning merit.

- Wow. - I'd say at least a year.

A year? You kidding?

- Oh, yeah. - I can't wait that long. No.

Well, that's if you pass on the first try.

Usually, it takes several years. Lots of people give up.

If I have to, I'll just be a janitor. How about that?

- Janitors have to pass the test too. - Oh, yeah?

Those jobs are well paying.

The pay's a lot better when you have a bachelor's degree.

But who doesn't have one of those nowadays, huh?

- They give them away. - Yeah.

- Just like that. Yeah, yeah. - Come on, Julia.

- Do you wanna go on the swing now? - No.

Julia, don't throw your coat on the ground.

I feel bad she's an only child.

She loves to play with the other kids so much.

Cloe's an only child, I know what you mean.

It's exhausting.

I'm way too old to be playing with her all day.

My back would agree with that. And my gray hair.

Right in this area. Yeah?

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

Well, we could take advantage

and meet up somewhere other than the playground.

The girls could play and we could have a cocktail?

Hmm?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- All right. Uh… - Sound good?

Sure.

We can text about it and see.

- Sounds like a plan. - ♪ I can hear us dream ♪

♪ I know that you want it ♪

YEW TREE OVERLOOK ESTATES

Top quality materials for everything.

Has the comforts of a suburban home right in the city.

The pool, the tennis court, the gardens…

And the keys? When could I get them? I need to move in right away.

- Six months and they're in your hand. - Oh, yeah?

- Yup. - Only six months?

- Yeah, six months. Yes. - Okay.

No way this is finished in less than 12 months.

I'm sorry to butt in, but I'm an architect.

Well… …I'm a civil engineer and I'd say more like 13 at least.

Fifteen. Guaranteed. You'll be compensated

- for anything beyond that. - Oh, yeah?

Excuse me, will you?

Yes? Hi.

What? Buy it.

- Absolutely. It's available now, but… - He's a total hustler.

Don't hold your breath for the tennis court and pool.

I'm here till 5:00.

Did you get a look at the parking?

I did. I actually thought that was kinda the best part.

Petty big spaces, right?

But they forgot the support beams.

I'm sitting with a client right now…

Oh, you architects…

You think 'cause you can draw it

the building will just stand up on it's own.

Luckily, we have engineers

to make sure any creativity goes out the window.

Sounds good. Okay, bye.

Everything looks great in the blueprint, but it's up to the construction crew.

All I can say, is they haven't convinced me.

I know a guy who used to work with them.

I think I'll call him before I sign anything.

Okay.

If you want, I can get your number, let you know what I find out, hmm?

Is that your clever way to ask me for my number?

- Actually, yes. You got me. - Ah!

- Want a drink? - No, no, no. I have too much work.

- Well, it doesn't have to be right now. - No, I always have too much work.

Hey! Excuse me.

Did you see how big the parking spaces will be?

Ooh! Hello, Mr. architect.

Ooh, mamma mia.

Mm! Yummy. He...

Oh, Dad, I'm working.

That's why I thought I could bring my girl a cup of coffee.

Thanks.

- Dad, you need something? - No. Just watching you work.

Dad, this has a deadline I really need to meet, okay?

Mm. Proceed. Go ahead.

Uh, don't you have anything better you'd want to do?

- I mean, go with Mom to tai chi. - Oh, no, no, no. That's for old people.

Mm. Well, what would you like to do?

What about the fact that Lucía and I, you know,

made it so you both could have a free afternoon with no kids.

I like watching my little girl work.

I can keep you company.

Dad, please.

I feel like daycare is just us paying for him to get sick.

What was that?

That's the mom that was hitting on me the other day.

Wait. Where? Who?

Don't look. You're being obvious. From the other day.

What do you mean hitting on you?

Touching me. She kept touching me,

- like, you know… Mm. Like this. - Oh, yeah?

Like the way she's touching her kid?

- Like that? - Oh, you don't get it.

Don't laugh. I know what I'm talking about…

Oh, fuck me.

- She's texting me, she's texting me. - Yeah.

- Ah! - Yeah.

She wants to see a movie tonight.

I'm sure she means with the girls.

To see the latest from Almodóvar.

Oh, she's definitely hitting on you then.

- I told you, listen to me. - So, why not take her out?

No, no.

Don't you ever wanna fuck a different dude?

What do you mean "dude?" You mean "chick," yeah?

Someone new. That's what I said, "new."

Yeah, sure, hooking up. But, no, no. I'm not ready for a girlfriend.

Are you out of your mind, man?

She wants a date, not to get married, you idiot.

Well, imagine if the date goes well and we hook up.

She'll want to hang out gain.

Don't worry, she's not gonna want to meet again.

Especially, given the pain in the ass you are.

She's coming, she's coming, she's coming, she's coming.

Are you serious? What do I do?

Oh, that is bullshit.

- You asshole, don't do that. - You flipped out.

I'm nervous just thinking about it, I almost passed out. Shit.

Okay. Your whole thing about working from home was great.

I'm going to the gym during the morning meetings.

Wait, didn't you say you had three kids?

Sure, but my husband works for the government.

If it were me, I'd work from home every afternoon.

Well, we'll start by seeing

- how these two times a week goes first. - Okay.

Uh, I'll be right back.

Hi, why are you here?

Hi. I'm just tracking your every move.

Uh, joking. A joke. Sorry, it sounded better in my head.

I actually wanted to bring you this

so that you could see some of my lawyer's comments

- about the contract for the apartment. - Ah. Thanks.

And I looked you up online.

I hope that's not totally psycho.

Um, it's a little psycho.

Honestly, I wanted to apologize because maybe I made you uncomfortable.

And, who's to say, I might live next to you.

So I came here, but I think that made you more uncomfortable.

- Sorry. - It's nothing. Nothing.

- You didn't do anything too weird. - Well…

- It's okay. - Okay.

I'm off to harass someone else then.

Okay.

- Harass me if you'd like. - Uh, Belén, excuse me,

but you do know that that's actual harassment.

Well, I'd better get going. I'm off.

I appreciate it.

- Thanks for bringing this by. - Bye. Yeah.

- He's crazy for you. - Stop it!

- You're gonna tap that, aren't you? - No.

- Why? - Because no.

- Why? - Uh, because it's sound like a pain.

- A pain? - Yeah. And mortifying.

Mortifying, how?

My body isn't the same since I had Cloe.

I'm just not comfortable getting naked with a stranger.

I'm like squishy, Belén, squishy.

I don't even remember the last time I had a hookup.

Let me guess. Your tits are pancakes?

Girl, imagine mine. I have three kids.

Oh, yeah. You think that guy's balls aren't ten times worse?

I've seen a lot of sagging balls.

Aren't you and your husband together?

- You like that Argentinian guy? - I mean, he's cute.

Go out with him.

And mark my words, when he grabs you and gives you a good pounding,

you won't be mortified.

It's true.

Coffee, Japan, coffee, Japan, coffee, Japan, coffee, Japan,

coffee, Japan… Papa?

Yeah?

Can Julia come and play at our house?

Sure, Pinky. I'll ask her mom which days she's with Julia.

Julia's always with her mama.

Well, somedays she must be with her dad, no?

They live together. Of course, she does.

All together?

You sure? I thought they were separated, like me and mom, yeah?

No.

- Papa, leave, I'm starting to go! - Going.

Hey, Andrés. Andrés, you won't believe it, dude. She…

It's a… She… She's not separated. She's not fucking separated.

I'm glad I told her I couldn't go to the movies with her.

But, I mean, she literally lied to my face, man. It's just…

It's fucked up. Really fucked up.

Let's go, Cloe, it's getting late.

Not yet!

Fucking A, man, even better. Problem solved.

Now you know she just wants to hook up. You have no excuse.

No one wants to be your girlfriend, Diego.

Don't overthink it.

Dumb ass, why'd you tell her? You have a big mouth, Andrés.

- Done, Papa! - All right.

♪ Tus labios me enseñarón que el amor ♪

♪ Es el camino ♪

♪ Y los deseos de tu corazón ♪

♪ Mi padecer ♪

♪ Y el cielo, una parte de tus ojos… ♪

Mother!

No, don't call me mother.

Diego, please, did you find that box?

I'm missing clothes and they have to be there.

Mom, there’s no mosquito!

Just in case, honey. Better safe than sorry.

Shut. Please, shut that.

I can't do anything right.

Mother of God.

Cris, I don't need to look for it.

I told you, I don't have any of your boxes.

I don't know, maybe you lost it. All I know is I don't have it.

Look Diego, it's gotta be with you. Don't make me put a clause

in the divorce agreement for you to find it.

Yes, I had some super cute black ones, but I have no idea where they are.

- Give it to me now! - They're not here.

No, Martina!

No, this is dirty. Um, I don't know where they are.

- Well, I can't go like this. - But shapewear that high is better.

- You think? - Yes. Then, do what I do.

- And what is that? - I take a thong in my purse.

And if something's gonna happen, I put it on in the bathroom.

- Oh? - Mm. This hides your stomach.

- Hey, is this dirty or clean? - What, now?

This dress.

It's clean.

Leo!

It wasn't me!

What I really didn't expect, truly, was that instead of being his mother,

she's his grandma,

because it's her son's semen that made the embryo.

Did you expect that?

- You okay? - No, no.

I just… I don't think it's right.

No, no. I mean, I think surrogacy is incredibly complicated.

No, no, not that, Sara.

Um, it seems wrong to me that you're here with me now

when you're married.

- Huh? - I mean, Sara you lied to me

because you told me you were separated from your husband.

I am separated.

Oh, uh, but then why did Cloe tell me that you still live with your husband?

- Because I can't afford a place on my own. - Ah.

That's why I want to take the government exam

to become independent.

Of course. Yeah, um, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So, uh…

Is like… Is this a… a date?

Well…

- Yeah, it seems like it. - Yes.

- Huh? - Well, yeah.

Well,

I, um, I don't know maybe I… maybe we shouldn't have met up.

I'm sorry. I didn't know this was a date, like a date. Because I'm just…

I'm just not ready. I'm sorry, but, I…

I mean, if it goes well, then we see each other again,

and we end up being, like… like a couple, right?

- Then like boyfriend and girlfriend. I… - Uh…

- I feel stressed just thinking about it. - Of course.

And then we both have daughters. It would be really hard to balance things.

Fuck. The divorce agreement is already a mess.

I can't imagine doing another one. Plus, our daughters would be like…

like sisters. Fuck! I mean, sisters, right?

And if we break up. Oh, man. Just… I can imagine the mess.

If we have another child then we break up…

I just want to fuck.

Uh…

Okay, fine.

- Take me to your house. - Yes.

- Yes. No. - No, wait. My house?

I live with my parents.

So you're really a parent?

Yeah. Why are you surprised?

I don't know, you don't look as tired as other parents.

- Well, I appreciate it. - Mm-hmm.

You're a mom, right?

- How can you tell? - Mm…

No, because I saw the picture of your daughter

on the home screen of your phone.

Oh! Oh, my God. My bad.

I feel like a nervous wreck.

This is the first time I've ever been out with anyone since my separation.

I dunno, I'd rather tell you now, so we under... just gets in the ether.

I get it, no worries.

The first time I went out with someone after my separation,

it was a huge disaster.

Basically, the whole night I called her my exe's name.

- No! - So stupid.

- The poor girl No, no, no! - Oh, no.

Even worse, I once called her that in bed.

- That's my worst fear. No! God! - No!

- Please no! Yeah? - It was disastrous, really.

- It's unnatural. - Yeah, I know.

Oh, and the second date was not any better.

I only talked about my daughter and missing her,

which is not the most exciting topic for a date.

It's too bad. I was planning to delight you

with my problems finding work-life balance.

Mm. Don't even get me started on that.

I take my kid to school and almost half the time…

- Yes. - …I'm late.

And there's this secretary that every time I get there

- she never lets anything slide. - Mm?

She's unbelievable. It's on another level.

The other day, she just wouldn't let me in.

Her response was, "I can't work with you."

No! See, a woman at my school is the same way.

- Nah… - Uh-huh.

Face like a sergeant, with sort of a puffy, short, white hair?

- Borealis? - Borea… Borealis!

Borealis! I can't believe it!

- Oh, that's incredible. - You're saying, we're not just neighbors,

we're in the same carpool?

Cheers to that.

Well, the nice thing will be that we can take turns making sure

- that the girls get to school on time. - Definitely.

And we won't even need to buy two apartments,

we'll just buy one and all live together.

I'm fucking with you.

- Huh. - I can make stalker jokes too, you know?

Good one.

Mm.

- I scared you, huh? - Nah.

CHEAPEST HOTELS

Damn, for under 200 euros, there's nothing. I can't find anything.

Me neither.

- Oh, yeah, it's fucking tourism week. - Oh?

- Yeah. - What about a hostel?

A hostel? I'd rather die. No, we’ll each pay a 100 for one of these.

- Hundred euros? - Mm.

Wow, I mean, a hundred's a lot by the time you add dinner…

…drinks, the movie. Fucking A.

I spent as much as you and I'm not swimming in cash.

Otherwise, I wouldn't live with my ex.

But for tonight, I'll spend it.

- In the car? - Huh?

- In the car? - What, like we're teenagers?

Well, doing it in the car…

…isn't just for teenagers. Not weird for adults to do it too.

Well, you live with your parents so maybe you don't think so.

Oh. Right, cause living with your ex-husband is normal too.

Fuck it. Where's your car?

No, what car? I don't have a car. Uh, I came on the subway.

Hey, don't laugh. What's so funny?

- I don't have a car either. - Ah, really?

- Or a license. - Well, then…

- …that makes things difficult. - Oh, yeah.

We're really, uh, high status.

Uh, wanna walk to the subway?

Yeah, sure.

- No, it's over there. - Oh, right.

Let's go. Yeah.

There's no way that's true.

Thank you.

Oh, really, I don't know why we got shots.

They make me feel nuts.

- I can't help you with that. - No.

If you have to drag me to my place after this, it's gonna be your problem.

- I like that, huh. - Mm.

Hmm. Shall we go?

- No, we can't go to my place, no. - Why not?

- No, no, that's impossible. - Come on.

No.

But we can go to yours, can't we? You said it was just around the corner.

No, well, I'm sharing an apartment with my buddy, and, uh…

So what? Do you sleep in the same room?

I would, but he's just a total weird… like a pain in the ass, you know?

- He's a pain the ass? - Yes, he is.

Well, no worries then.

- Mm. - We'll get together another time.

- It's a pity. - Uh…

- Pity? Right. - It is. It's a pity.

- Be quiet. Quiet. - Okay.

- Be careful. Seriously. - Mm.

Yes, yes. Hey. Hey, hey.

- Just… just… - I got it.

- The smallest movement can wake him up. - Okay.

- He sleeps light, you know. - Oh, yeah.

- Like, very, very light. - Let's go.

Okay, okay.

Okay, now quietly. That's it. All right.

- Let's go… Let's go back here. - I need to use the bathroom.

- Right now? - It's urgent.

You're gonna wake him up.

- And when he's awake… - Do you mind?

- No, no. Okay, fine. Oh, uh… - Okay.

Just don't… don't flush the toilet.

- No, I… - Please.

Oh, damn it.

What?

Shit.

Uh, who the hell are you? What are you doing here?

- She, uh… She's with me. - You're fucking kidding me.

Your daughter's in the other room and you're hooking up with someone here.

You're gonna wake her up.

Oh, 'cause then it'd be my fault now.

Well, actually yes.

You could easily have gone to your parents' house. Why didn't you?

Why don't you go to yours?

Or better, how about a hostel? There are some hotels…

Are you Cloe's mom?

I couldn't go to hers because she's also getting divorced.

- I don't care. I can't believe… - Why are you holding your underwear?

…you brought her here, you dumbass.

Oh, sure, I'm a dumbass, I'm a dumbass, but you're a …

What? What? What am I? Look! Look…

Put whatever you want on the agreement

I don't have your box…

If you don't believe me, come and look for it yourself

Oh, I will, yeah.

Of course I'll come

Now??

Yes, now.

Sure, come now…

It's only 1 in the morning

The best time to look for boxes!

Does this seem like a normal time to you?

I just want my box.

You're all dressed up? I mean, to come look for imaginary boxes.

Hmm. No, but if you help, it'll go faster.

- No, thanks. Pass. - Perfect.

Come on, I'll help you. Otherwise, this will take all night.

Yeah.

What? Useless.

- Trying to get a rise out of me? - What do you mean?

You know I always got super turned on by that shapewear.

- Come on, hold this. - Here.

Help. Hold the ladder steady. I don't want to fall off.

- You're good. Watch out for my foot. - Okay.

Do you remember when we bought that?

How could I forget? My first piece of lingerie postpartum.

No, I mean what we did in the fitting room, yeah?

I almost couldn't even try them on.

- You were super hot in those. - Uh…

We tried so hard not to break quarantine and then there…

Yeah, there… Mm. There.

No, not this one.

There's one here. One left.

Come on, open it if you want.

Don't worry, I'm won't say "I told you so."

Hey. Mm?

Didn't you sell this couch to those kids that came by?

Turns out they didn't want it.

- So weird. It's super comfortable. - Well, yeah, Cris.

It's comfortable, but, I mean, it's seen better days.

Sure, but we've taken some epic naps on it, haven't we?

That's true. You've always liked a good couch nap, right? More than a bed?

Well, yeah. Cause a couch nap is infinitely better than a bed nap.

Hmm. Hmm.

No, you're right. It is comfy.

- And firm. - It's firm?

Actually, a nap right now sounds pretty great.

Um, Cris, wait. Um… Are we… are we really doing this?

Yes.

- Okay, but… I don't… - But… but nothing.

Nothing.

Fuck!

Oh, fuck…

I'm taking this off. I'm just gonna grab this like…

- Fuck me! - Just get this off.

- Fuck! - Oh, come on. We have to get this off.

Yes, take that shapewear off already!

This is still on.

How do I undo the bra? I can't remember.

- Just let me get… - Now the shapewear. Bye-bye!

Maybe we could take more naps together, couldn't we?

Yeah, we can be "nap-buddies."

Well, the buddy part has proved a bit difficult.

Okay, not buddies, just naps.

Right, friends. No. Naps. Yes.