Original subtitles

Deadly dinos, laser beams, putrid plants, cool machines

Potty planets, moony moons, strange science, big booms

Experiments that make you hurl, visitors from other worlds

Earth's core, stinky space, the future of the human race

Science that did not go right, things to keep you up at night

Biology with stings and fangs, chemistry that stinks and bangs

Freaky physics, we do that

Quantum gravity - what's that?!

Weird and gross stuff you should know

Welcome to The Horrible Science Show. #

OK, not that wire.

Oh, hello. Welcome to the Working Scientifically Special.

Not that wire either.

Way back when, if someone clever just said some science was true

everyone believed it. Bonkers!

It took great thinkers, like Francis Bacon,

to show that you need to prove your ideas were right.

Some people even experimented on themselves,

which lots of other people said was a terrible idea.

Ah, must be this wire.

ZAP!

Urr-r-r-ghh!

Yep. Tip 1 - experimenting on yourself

is a terrible idea.

Hope this party has food.

Yeah.

The meat last week was too salty, wasn't it? Mmm.

It's the way it's preserved, stops it from going off.

Nothing we can do about it. Or is there?

Dr Witherborne, you're a genius!

Read that.

"Fenuv resrve...pood."

What? No, "snow preserves food."

That definitely says pood.

It's the carriage, makes it very hard to write.

I believe that snow could preserve food just as well as salt.

Why? By keeping it cold.

Well, if a great thinker like Francis Bacon thinks it's true

then it must be! No!

That's the old way of thinking. A theory isn't

true just because someone clever said it.

What?!

Then how DO we know if something is true?

By testing the theory, seeing if it works in the real world.

It's called experimentation - heard of it?

I need to stuff a chicken full of snow to prove my theory works.

But, maybe tomorrow, you know - after the party.

No, it's snowing now.

It's time for science.

Bring me a chicken!

He's a smart guy, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

SHIVERING: G-Good evening. I am the g-great Francis Bacon

and I demand you give me a raw chicken immediately.

It's Francis Bacon and he wants a chicken, dear.

Ah, right, well, then, we'd better get him one.

Thanks. Hungry are you, dear?

No, b-but I shall be in a week.

That chicken would have gone off by next week!

Ah, but I predict that this snow will perfectly p-preserve

the chicken that I'm stopping from going off.

Well, it better had, or we'll all be on the toilet for a month!

Very good, thank you!

Here, Molly, won't he catch a cold out there

stuffing a chicken with snow? He's a smart man, dear.

I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

HE SHIVERS

Hello, Francis, how are you feeling?

Fantastic.

My experiment succeeded excellently well.

Take a bite.

The snow preserved the raw chicken to perfection.

My theory was c-correct.

SQUELCH!

Are you sure you're OK?

Oh, no, on a personal level, it's been a complete disaster for me.

Yeah. I've caught a terrible chill from the cold,

but I p-proved my point.

That chicken is good to eat now, even days later.

In fact maybe I am feeling a bit better.

Who's up for a chicken sandwich?!

BELL TOLLS

WITHERBORNE TUTS

Such a shame.

The snow saved the chicken,

but it couldnae save the Bacon.

Boom, it's your boy Big Danny, yeah,

with some mad science from the past, yeah.

I'm in New Jersey, East Side

with my main man Stubbins Ffirth.

Man's got bear Fs in his name

like he's letting one off, like, "Ffirth".

What's going on? Oh.

Is it a magic trick?

Anyway, he's got a mad theory about a disease called yellow fever.

It was a bear dangerous disease back in the 19th century

that turned your eyes and skin yellow.

Minion settings, bruv.

People thought the disease was spread by the black vomit

it made you puke, but my man Stubbins is looking to prove

that wrong by testing it on himself, innit.

Man's got bottle.

Not all science is good science - I keep telling my cousin that.

First up, Stubby boiled that black vom

and took massive whiffs of the steam it gave off.

INHALES DEEPLY

His next test was to rub some vomit in a cut on his arm,

which is bear rank.

My man also rubbed some in his eyes!

Argh! Aah!

It's really stinging.

And to complete his test, he even drank the vomit.

Who even does that? My man Stubby did.

Yo!

Man's bear chugging that ting fast, you know!

Oi, the backwash in that must be mad! Guh!

You want a biscuit or something? I'm fine.

And boom, he's OK.

So, my man proved you can't contract yellow fever

through the black vomit,

so much so that the University of Pennsylvania

recognised it, innit.

Hey, man like Stubbins Ffirth was right, you know?

Hey!

BELCH!

You can't get yellow fever from black vomit, yeah?

You get it from mosquito bites, yeah?

When the bites infect the blood

with the virus, yeah, causing yellow fever.

I don't have yellow fever,

but all the black vomit that I drunk hasn't exactly left me feeling...

Bleurgh!

He's got black vomit-vomit all over his kicks, fam.

Yeah, I ain't going to lie, my guy is not well, yeah.

Bleurgh!

Anyway, you know what time it is. Still.

Black vomit. Ha, ha! I'd try that.

If you want to be a brilliant scientist, tip 2.

Find a question that you want to know the answer to.

It can be as weird as you like.

Then, experiment to find out what the answer is.

I'm going to conduct an experiment to answer the question

can I make my tiny blue pet dinosaur, Trevor,

bigger, using this working crystal power?

Waa! Hurray!

The experiment is a success.

ROAR!

But I also discovered

that I shouldn't make a tiny dinosaur massive

when I forgot to feed him breakfast.

Run for it! ARGH!

Horribly Scientific Movies presents...

What have I done?

The Sheffield fart trial is under way.

PARP!

We're trying to find out about normal wind production

in the human body over 24 hours.

We have to stop it.

It's called...

We can't stop.

Not the Sheffield Fart Trial.

It's too late.

But fart trial makes it sound more fun.

I'm sorry.

DEEP FART

Cor, you might want to open a window, pal!

VOICEOVER: It was the scientific study that changed the world,

from the bottom up...

We've got five men and five women,

each of them with a rubber tube up their bottom

so we can catch their farts in these bags.

Is this madness?

We can't stop now. We've spent all that

money on baked beans!

SQUEAKY FART

Thank you, Mrs Middleday!

You're welcome, professor!

..parting the cheeks of human understanding.

We did it. Thanks to all the farts we collected

we now know that the average fart is 90ml.

We also know that the average person does around eight farts a day.

But, we discovered something else.

Say it.

Men and women fart...

..pretty much exactly the same amount.

WE WENT TOO FAR!!!

BEASTLY FART

Aargh!

Wafting into a cinema near you soon...

Some things just don't need to be known.

RASPY FART

Sorry!

Oh, that's a really mad one, that.

Smash that like button

like it's ein particle accelerator.

It's your boy, Einstein,

back for another science reaction vid.

Woo, space!

Aah! It's Tim Peake, ze astronaut!

Oh, we love you, Tim! Tim!

Can't hear me, it's a video.

They are on the International Space Station and...

Whoa!

SIRENS BLARE

Whoa, whoa!

In space, there is no up or down.

Everything is floating everywhere.

Even ze astronauts.

They float, like bubbles, but made of people.

So, I wanted to do a quick check today,

just to see if I can make myself dizzy.

Oh, wow, they turned up wearing the same clothes.

Embarrassing!

Let's go into a ball and start spinning.

Wow, go Tim!

That man is stirring him.

Whoa, man. He is really spinning.

He is like ein sock in ein washing machine.

Let's go for it. That's good.

It's kind of hypnotic.

Whoaa-a-a-aa!

Well, anyway, there are special organs filled with fluid

in our inner ears that sense our head movement

and can make us feel dizzy, and that can mean...

Bleurgh!

But in space, the fluid inside their ears floats.

So when they arrive on the ISS they get mixed signals all the time,

confusing their brains.

But eventually the astronaut brains learn to ignore

these mixed-up signals and they don't feel as sick.

He's still going.

That's cool.

Yeah, that's really fast. And he's still going!

OK, everybody knows that one guy at the party.

It's like, we get it, you've got a party trick.

Mine's dancing, ja!

It's not making me feel ill at all.

Whoa, speak for yourself, space boy.

OK. Ooh, thank goodness.

He is nicht moving like ein Catherine Wheel any more.

So definitely felt dizzy, initially, and now it's gone.

I'm glad you are feeling better, Mr Tim Peake Spaceman.

Ugh.

OK, thanks for watching Albert Einstein's.

That was eine great video

that definitely didn't make me feel sick at all.

RUMBLE

Oh, entschuldigung.

HE BARFS

Don't forget to like and subscri...

HE BARFS

Tip 3. To be a great scientist you

have to think outside the box.

That way you're more likely to

discover something new.

So my idea is to stop plugging wires into my ears,

and instead plait them into a giant skipping rope.

Hup! Fun, and much safer!

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ooh!

SMASH!

Yeah, I've discovered that was a bad idea.

You know what this equation needs?

A new number.

Oh, Aryabhata, mate, you already

came up with decimal places. What more do you want?

OK, so you've got whole numbers... Ugh.

..we've got decimal places for parts of numbers,

but do we have when we want to talk about no numbers?

I'd probably talk to my non-mathematician friends

because they're more fun! OK, right.

Say you've got two chickens.

I've got two chickens.

Very good, well done. Now imagine someone takes those two chickens,

how many would you have? Well, I'd have...

I wouldn't have any chickens. You see?

We have no number to represent nothing.

Imagine how useful that would be!

MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO

Where's that music coming from?

We need a number that we can use when we take one away from one.

It will open up a whole new world of mathematics.

OK, this is getting weird now.

The opportunities are endless.

Oo, oo, oo, ah... #

Er, where did they come from?

Oo, oo, oo, ah... #

Hang on, I think I'm getting an idea.

Oh, he's going to sing, isn't he?

And it's going to change the world.

We can count backwards to one but we can't count below

A number to use to show no amount will help us more than we can know

How do you represent nothing when you don't have a word?

Something smaller than one or a half

Even smaller than a third

We need a zero!

We need a number for when we write a decimal place

Something to help our astronomers

When they are measuring stuff that's in space

We need a zero

We need something so we don't have to write no amount

A digit used all round the world

As the number that's just before you start to count

He needs a zero Oo, oo, oo, ah... #

Well done, Aryabhata.

I can't believe you came up with a whole new number!

I really think I have.

Aryabhata, I hope you're going to repay me handsomely

for my help in this momentous discovery.

Of course, Harish.

I think I've got the perfect number to represent your contribution.

Oh, fantastic!

I'm sorry for all those times I called you a bald nerd.

You do have a little bit of hair.

So, what do I get, friend?

He got a zero. #

OK, we got a lead on Trevor and we calmed him down.

Mrs Flemsberg is holding it.

You OK, Mrs Flemsberg?

Uh, he's looking at me funny.

Don't worry, he's just hungry. Heh.

You're not making me feel better.

So, tip 4, to be a great scientist

you need repeatable results.

That means do your experiment

again and again and again

to show that the same thing happens.

So, I am going to see if my crystal works on Trevor again.

Here goes nothing.

Oh! It worked!

He got bigger again.

And he hasn't eaten anyone yet, which is a bonus.

Now, Trevor, easy. Sit.

Oh-ow!

Not on Mrs Flemsberg!

Sorry, Mrs Flemsberg!

I should have been more clear in my instructions

when I told Trevor to sit.

It is super important to be accurate and precise in science,

even though they aren't exactly the same thing. Hmm.

You all right, Mrs F?

Mrs F?

SUMPTUOUS ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS

Miss Cleverly, come back!

How can I trust you Piggerton,

after the words I heard you speak to Miss Sisterly Friend?

I can explain. You asked her about her...

..legs.

Oh, the legs of a table she's making for me,

a table that I plan to give you as a gift

on the morning that we become husband and wife.

Miss Cleverly, I will love you more and more every day of our lives.

Sir, your words are precise but are they accurate?

Oh, Miss Cleverly, I...

Uhh...

RECORD SCRATCH

Sorry. Don't...

Right, sorry.

Don't precise and accurate mean the same thing?

No, Mr Piggerton they are different.

Ah.

Well, Miss Cleverl... No, I'm sorry, how are they different?

Allow me to demonstrate.

Ah. How's a bow and arrow going to help?

And why are they hiding in my ornamental hedge?

Well, it's important to be prepared.

Now, observe that target over there.

Oh, yes, I see it...

Oh!

TWANG!

Goodness! Well, you've certainly struck the target.

Much like cupid's arrow struck my... Mm-mm.

Sorry, carry on. Now, my shooting was accurate

because all the arrows hit the target,

but it was not precise, because the arrows aren't grouped together.

Right. Your turn. Ah.

OK.

You'll have to bear with me.

Been a while since I've been on the old bow and arrow.

Get on with it.

OK.

I am told that it's just like riding a bi...

TWANG!

OWW! Goodness.

That was... Second time lucky.

Um, a bit rusty. I need to..

OW!

I have high hopes for number three. I didn't warm up, basically.

Goodness me.

DOOWW!

Now, that was precise. Yes.

Because all the arrows are grouped together.

They really are!

I'm terribly sorry, Digby.

But it was not accurate,

because you missed the target and hit Digby instead. Digby's bum, yes.

Ow, I hate my job.

For the best results, especially in science,

it is important to be both accurate AND precise.

Hmm. May I? Yeah, best you...

It'll be a bit safer for everyone.

Accurate and...

Goodness me. ..precise.

OK, that's embarrassing.

Now, you were telling me how much you love me.

Oh, yes.

Sir, your table from Miss Sisterly Friend has arrived.

What is this? I said it was to be 100 centimetres by 50 centimetres.

Well, she appears to have done it perfectly...

..in millimetres.

So, she's been precise but not accurate?

Exactly. Ugh.

And now, Mr Piggerton,

tell me precisely and accurately how you feel?

Well, I feel... Oooh!

..that Digby needs serious medical attention. Yeah.

Yeah.

Hang in there, Digby.

Stay still.

Not that still.

Starting with exactly 2.7 millilitres of liquid solution.

Actually, make that 2.75.

Read back what I said?

Add a bunch of sandy stuff to the wet stuff and mix it about.

That's not what I said. Yeah, it was close enough.

Close enough is not good enough, Clive.

We need to accurately write down everything that we do

in the experiment so we can repeat it.

Hmm, is it really that important? Yes!

Precision in experiments is vital.

We need to know exactly everything that we did

so if we get a different result next time we can figure out why.

Just hold that expression for a sec.

Ha! It's you.

Clive!

The head of the university is visiting us.

We need to show that we do things properly here!

All right, then. I'll accurately record everything you do.

Everything? Everything.

Welcome to the lab. Thank you.

Here we have an experiment that we did earlier.

Now, we're going to repeat it in the exact same way

we did the very first time.

Mm. And I do mean exact.

Pour in 2.75 millilitres of the liquid solution.

Add 6.4 milligrams of the powder.

Return beaker to bench and scratch bottom.

Uh, you...

Right hand to right cheek.

Right. Right hand, please.

Certainly.

We pride ourselves on our accuracy.

I can see that.

Now, mix for five seconds.

Then pick your nose and wipe it under the counter,

hoping I don't notice. That's disgusting.

It's important we repeat the experiment

in exactly the same way we did it the first time.

Your attention to detail is very impressive.

That means a lot.

Now, realise you have a wedgy and pull your pants out of your bum.

Look! Look, I'm very sorry...

I told Clive to write everything down

but I just meant the stuff that could affect the results, you know?

Like, for example, when you poured the wrong solution in the jar

and it started smoking?

Yes, exactly...

HE SCREAMS

SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

Scream, run around,

and panic. Should you not help him?

No, I have to take notes.

They'll want to do this again on the second one.

I'm so excited to be a forensic scientist and learn from the best.

It's not as glamorous as you might think.

I mean, THAT is one of the most grotesque dead bodies

I've ever seen.

I beg your pardon?

It's her husband who died, boss.

Ah. Erm...

I'm sorry for your face.

Wha...? I mean, your loss.

OK, Jenkins, to crack this case we need to work scientifically,

so we need to start with a question.

What killed him?

Yes, and I have a hypothesis.

What is it?

It's a suggestion of what might be the solution to the problem.

No, I know that, I mean, what is YOUR hypothesis?

Oh. He was poisoned,

possibly using a vile of blue liquid,

like the one that suspicious-looking chambermaid is holding.

Who me? I'm just cleaning up.

Should we hold her for questioning?

Sh. No!

We can't just go around arresting people

because they're holding a possible murder weapon at a murder scene,

Jenkins. We have a method to follow!

Now we have our hypothesis

we're going to make a prediction.

And that is? A scientific guess, based on the things we know

about what will happen when the hypothesis is tested.

I meant what is YOUR prediction?

Ooh! Well, um, I predict if we test the blue liquid

oozing from the victim's mouth we'll find traces of poison

that match the vile of liquid that the chambermaid just hid

behind the fruit bowl, before she started crawling towards the window.

Ignore me. So many fingerprints on this floor.

SHE MIMICS POLISHING

Stop right there!

You've dropped your copy of How To Poison People -

A Beginner's Guide To Poisoning People With Poison.

Merci.

I was looking for this.

OK, Jenkins. We're going to test our hypothesis

and see if the result matches our prediction.

You do the mouth, I'll do the bottle.

If both cotton buds turn pink we'll have proof we were right.

Oh, no, they've got me...

So, we should have a result in around, uh,

12 to 14 minutes.

That long? So long, suckers!

WINDOW SMASHES

CAR DOOR SLAMS

CAR STARTS

You'll never catch me now!

TYRES SCREECH

The liquid from his mouth matches the liquid from the bottle.

Your prediction was right, Mr Black WAS poisoned.

So what's the conclusion?

It's a summary of what we've learnt.

I mean what is YOUR conclusion, based on the evidence?

The suspicious looking chambermaid

with the poison and the book about how to poison people

must be the...poisoner.

It's always the ones you least expect.

So now you know that to work scientifically

you need to think of something you want to test, test it,

test it again, and make sure you are accurate and precise at all times.

Oh! Oh, yes, and don't let your experiment sit on Mrs Flemsberg.

Thankfully I have managed to borrow a shrink-ray.

Right, Trevor, it's shrink-back-to-normal-size time.

ZAP!

I can't believe that worked. Phew!

Everything is back to normal.

Well, apart from Mrs F,

who does look a bit flatter than she did before. Rude!

I hope our tips have been helpful in your scientific adventures,

and, you know what -

you're doing science all the time anyway without even realising it.

Who's a little good normal-size Trevor?

CHOMP!

Oww!

He still bites, though.

Naughty boy.

Hey, I thought we was meeting up. Why are you still working?

Sorry, I'm just finishing up this scientific research.

I don't know why you bother.

It's not like any of this stuff is any use in real life.

Are you kidding?

You're using science every hour of every day of your life. Ha!

I think I'd know if I was. Oh, really?

Hit it!

MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF DANCE THE NIGHT

How long has this been back here?

Baby, you know

When you turn on the lights, whether they're dim or bright

When you turn them on, science going on, happening all the time

When you turn on your tunes

Make your camera zoom

Find the right street, touching your screen

Science makes it come true

Cos lots that we do has been improved by thinking it through

Every day in lots of ways, we use science too

Give three cheers for these science ideas

We use Science

Science every day

It's not just for learning, you use it in lots of different ways

You use Science

Science every day

When you turn the hairdryer on and feel those sweet heatwaves

You know that when you are gaming online

When you look at the time

Using your remote, that's been thought about, it is all by design

Cos every process has had a test to check that it works

Let's give a cheer for these ideas and all their perks

Let's say thanks, let's say thanks, let's say thanks

We use Science

Science every day

So much stuff you don't notice is science in the best way

You use Science

Science every day

If you get sick you get fixed up by science, so hooray

When the car breaks

Slows you down, slows you down

When the cake bakes

I'll watch it rise, I'll watch it rise

Going to space

And when you flush a loo Urgh!

It's not chance, it's not chance, it's not chance

We use Science

Science every day

When you're on an aeroplane

It's the science that keeps you safe

You use Science

Science every day

We're all using science in all kinds of different ways

When you're brushing

Shiny and clean, shiny and clean

Or researching

Tap your screen, tap your screen

Yeah, let's face it

We should thank scientists

We use science all the time

We use science every day. #

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0