Original subtitles

Deadly dinos, laser beams

Putrid plants, cool machines

Potty planets, moody moons

Strange sights, big booms

Experiments that make you hurl

Visitors from other worlds

Earth's core, stinky space

The future of the human race

Science that did not go right

Things to keep you up at night

Biology with stings and fangs

Chemistry that stinks and bangs

Freaky physics, we do that

Quantum gravity, what's that?

Weird and gross stuff you should know

Welcome to The Horrible Science show!

Horrible Science viewers, ready?

Gladiators, ready? They're big, they're bad,

and they make up everything in the known universe.

Meet the Elemental Gladiators.

I'm Hydrogen. I'm Gold. I'm Helium. Introducing Carbon.

This element is an all-rounder. Carbon can be as hard as a diamond -

not the Gladiator, an actual diamond -

and she can be as brittle as the graphite in a pencil.

A real crowd-pleaser, Carbon gets everywhere.

Not just in the arena, in every cell in your body.

HE GROWLS

This metal monster is Potassium.

"K" for...Potassium. Am I in the right suit?

This legend is glittery, soft and explodes into lilac flames

when he comes into contact with water.

HE GROWLS

So taking on the gauntlet better be no sweat for him,

or there could be fireworks.

Potassium is like a dangerous flamingo made of burning metal.

And brightening up the darkness is Neon.

The audience love it when Neon lights up the arena,

but sadly, that's pretty much all she does.

Neon's an inert gas.

She can't react with anything.

When she hangs tough, she just hangs there. Boring!

Oh, well, they can't all be winners.

BOOING

And listen to the boos!

No, he's not Viper.

Here comes Polonium.

Polonium is radioactive,

glows in the dark, and on a really bad day,

can unleash a nuclear reaction that spreads destruction for miles.

Well, that'll stop all the booing and foam finger pointing.

Hang on a minute, isn't that Steel?

Not on Elemental Gladiators!

That's Oganesson, the heaviest element of all.

More unstable than the cargo net in the Eliminator,

Oganesson is incredibly rare.

No wonder the fans are going wild!

Oops! I told you Oganesson was heavy.

The Elemental Gladiators -

they're not just coming soon,

they're already everywhere in the universe.

Welcome to our materials and states special.

You know, I would make a great Gladiator. I might be small,

but I am super brave. Ha...!

PARP!

Oh, ha-ha, oh...

Pardon me. Well, I still rock the outfit, don't I?

So we've met the elements,

now let's see what happens

when you start mixing them together in chemicals.

Do I get to keep the outfit? No!

Wicked plan number 78 - use chemicals for evil!

At last I, Dr Big Brain,

have perfected my spray of doom. And with it, I shall melt the world.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You'll never get away with this, Professor Big Brain.

It's Dr Big Brain. Mm.

I would have gone with professor, it's kind of more impressive.

Yes, I know, but there already is a Professor Big Brain.

She teaches business management in Macclesfield.

She's got a website and everything.

I swear she gets sent half the ransoms

from my evil plans by mistake.

Peter, it's time.

Fill the spray of doom with one of my deadly substances.

Righto.

Which one, boss? Either will do.

One is a very strong acid -

sour, eats through metal and human flesh, leaving any mush.

The other is a very strong alkali - a bit more slimy,

also eats through metal and human flesh, leaving only mush.

How charming.

My ransom demands are already on their way to the White House.

They'll never give in to your wild demands.

Hey! You haven't even heard what my demands are.

I want $10 billion and the president to be replaced by

a tennis racquet with a face drawn on it.

So not that wild at all, then? Spray of doom ready.

Aha! My machine is full and ready to use.

Say goodnight, Agent Goodie.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Peter, I'm laughing alone again. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Better. Now, what's the time? Oh, looksy,

it's half-past TIME-TO-DIE! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Spray of doom on. No! No, no, no, no!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

It's just water.

I think you'll find your flesh is melting whilst your insides...

No. Definitely water. Salty water.

Peter,

could you come here, please?

Peter, did you put the strong acid or the strong alkali

into my spray of doom?

Well, what would you say if I said I used both?

I'd say "Bad Peter!"

No, no! Because two deadly liquids -

double deadly. No, because whilst they are individually very dangerous,

if you mix them together, the alkali and the acid cancel each other out

and the chemicals turn into water and salt.

Ooh, that's nice.

Oh, no, something terrible's going to happen to me now, isn't it?

Take a walk with me, Peter. Oh. Don't worry,

I'm not cross. I just need someone to quickly check... Bye!

..the inside of my industrial flattening machine.

Oh, right.

ARGH!

DR BIG BRAIN CRIES

So sad! I don't think I'll ever get over his death.

Now, where were we? Oh! It worked! She melted!

Oh, no, she escaped.

Oh, they don't know she escaped yet. You win, Big Brain.

We've transferred $10 billion into your

Professor Big Brain account in Macclesfield. Yes, we did...!

Wait, Professor Big Brain?

Oh, come on!

Take a walk with me, Peter. Again.

I'm Potassium. And I'm Oganesson.

Really? I thought you were the Gladiator Steel.

I'm acting. Just do the question. Oh, right. OK, yeah. Sorry.

Ahem! I'm Potassium, and he's Oganesson. We're both elements.

An element is a substance which is made up of only one kind of atom.

It can't be broken down into any other substance.

There are over 100 elements. But which of these ISN'T an element?

I mean, there's an element standing right next to me,

so maybe there's a clue there. OK, right.

Time's up!

The answer is...

..C, steel.

Yes, steel ISN'T an element.

Wait, you literally just said...

Oh, no, sorry, you're pretending.

Yes, steel is actually a combination

of two elements - iron and carbon.

So it's not an element itself.

Other elements include me,

Potassium! And me, Oganesson.

Sorry, I'm so confused. Can we just use Viper instead?

Ah! Stole my money. I'm Sir Isaac Newton.

I'm at a theme park, and this is Science At Speed.

Yeah, let's do this.

I'm a thrill-seeker and I'm ready for anything.

SCREAMING

Don't they do pony rides or anything like that?

Today on Science At Speed...

And I shall be answering the question...

Let's go! What is that sound?

RUMBLING

Oh, this is fairly pleasant.

Now, a chemical reaction happens when substances combine

and their atoms rearrange

to create one or more new substances.

When a chemical reaction happens, sometimes they may release bubbles

and sometimes they might change colour!

ARGH! Like I'm doing now! A-A-ARGH!

PARP!

Oh, I just released a few of my own bubbles.

PARP!

Sorry back there.

ARGH! Ooh, lots of chemical reactions

give off...

..ENERGY! Like heat...

..and light...

..and sick.

Now, many chemical reactions are irreversible,

which means that they cannot go back to how they were before.

To be honest, I wish I could. A-AARGH!

A-A-A-ARGH! ARGH!

Why would people go on this voluntarily?

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

That. Was. Hell.

You humans don't know what you're missing -

living up there on the Earth's surface.

"Oh, but we like looking at the sky and that."

"Ooh, a rainbow!" Pffft, boring! Trust a vole.

Under the ground is where it's at.

It's not just rocks and worm plops,

our planet's got loads of layers all the way to the centre.

Think of the Earth as a massive round trifle,

but with layers of burning rocks and gold and steam and gases and...

PARP!

Ooh. Yeah, OK,

there's quite a lot of worm plops,

but only near the surface! Go deeper and things get way cooler.

Or should I say hotter?

This is the big one. The heist to end all heists.

Luckily, you lot are the best of the best...

..that were available at short notice.

Welcome to the biggest gold heist in the world.

Hoo-hoo! Sounds extremely dangerous. I'm in.

Where's the gold, boss?

I just told you! In the Earth.

We're going to drill down to the Earth's core and come back rich.

Wait, boss.

How much gold is actually down there, though?

1.6 quadrillion tonnes.

That is enough to cover the entire planet

in a layer of gold half a metre thick.

Oh, I like it! But what's the plan, boss?

Well...

..first we're going to break through the Earth's crust.

We'll hit them on the ocean floor where it's thinnest.

Hope you brought your swimwear, Boris. That's you.

You're going to have to dig down about five or ten... Centimetres?

Kilometres. Huh?!

Then we're through the crust and we're in.

And then we get the gold. Not yet!

Now we're in the mantle -

a mush of very hot rock and minerals.

Norris, you're going to find us a way through.

Now, there is some gold in the mantle -

about 10 billion tonnes - but don't get distracted!

The real prize is in the core.

You're going to work your way through around

1,800 miles of dense rock. Oh, and it's warm down there.

Gets up to around 3,500 degrees Celsius. What?!

Once we're through the mantle, we're into the core.

And then the gold, innit, boss? Not yet!

Harris, you're going to have

to punch your way through the outer core.

It's filled with molten iron and nickel.

You want to punch through metal that's 3,500 degrees hot?

No! Phew!

3,500 degrees is the mantle.

The outer core gets up to around 5,500 degrees.

What?! And it's spinning. Pardon me?!

And once we're through that,

we're into the inner core -

and that's where the gold we want is.

We just have to put up with the intense physical pressure of

the entire planet and its atmosphere above us.

It's going to feel like we've got around - hyeurgh -

750,000 elephants sitting on us.

I hate elephants. So we get in, we grab the gold -

next stop, Bahamas. Who's with me?

No.

Or we just rob another bank. Great idea, boss.

Yeah, that's lit. Let's just do that.

You're so predictable.

Forever water. Not just a drink, a drinking experience.

Forever water contains all the natural things

found in the purest mineral water.

What was that last one?!

S-Sodium? No, after that.

Magnesium. Come on.

Calcium. You know the one I mean.

Um, dinosaur wee. I'm not drinking dinosaur wee!

Oh, it's in my hair!

Dinosaur wee is in almost all the water on the planet.

The same amount of natural water

has been with us on Earth for over 4 billion years.

Constantly evaporating, forming clouds, raining,

snowing, flowing, flushing... Flushing?!

..collecting and evaporating again,

and all the while constantly mixing

and going back into the great cycle of our planet's water.

OK, well, that bit sounds pretty cool.

Like, we're drinking the same water the dinosaurs drank.

And weeing out the same wee the dinosaurs weed.

I'm just going to focus on the drinking, thanks.

Whatever. All the water on the planet is the same forever water.

Ice, snow, oceans, sweat, showers, tears, bathwater,

tooth brushing, spit, toilet water all mixing as molecules together...

Maybe just don't give me all the details.

Forever water - rain water, sea water,

dog water, your water, your mum's water, one water,

all water, forever water. And now available,

the purest water of all - glacier water...

Why didn't you just give me that one to start with?

..which obviously also contains dinosaur wee.

Hey, babes, your gal T-Rex here. Just chilling on my hols,

getting some T-Rest.

And this ice cream's making a nice change from eating,

you know, everything that can't run faster than me.

But what is going on with this thing?

I'm totally chilled,

but my ice cream is getting hotter and it's just melting.

The sun is turning my vanilla whip from

a solid into a liquid, and my smoothie's totally evaporated.

It's gone from a liquid to a gas. This holiday couldn't get any worse.

CREAK!

Argh!

Let's play Solid, Liquid, Gas!

CHEERING

Welcome to Solid, Liquid, Gas,

where our contestants decide if something's physical state is...

CROWD: Solid, liquid or gas!

Let's meet today's contestant. And you are?

Mostly solid,

but also some liquid and a little bit of gas.

PARP!

I'm so sorry. That happens when I get nervous.

PARP!

Thought I got away with that one. Hm-hm, you didn't.

Best of luck. Question one -

an ice lolly? Um, well...

..it's a frozen liquid,

so that makes it a solid!

Correct! Ice is the frozen solid state of water.

Next question - lava.

Liquid!

But lava's liquid rock. Yes, but we meant

the lava that's just been cooled and become solid rock.

Oh, that's a bit unfair, isn't it? No!

Clouds. Gas, they're in the air.

Clouds are made of tiny droplets of liquid water.

And finally in this round, a lovely chilled moose.

Oh! I know this one. I love a chocolate mousse!

It's actually a semi-solid.

It's a pudding made of gas bubbles surrounded by liquid,

all in a kind of semi-solid form.

A very clever answer, but sadly an incorrect one.

We meant this lovely chilled moose. What?! Moose!

So much easier when you're playing along at home.

Quick fire round now. Jelly. Liquid!

Once it's set, it's solid. A gas cylinder.

Gas! The cylinder is solid.

But what about what's inside the gas cylinder?

Gas! We filled it with milk.

What?! And finally, time for the million pound question.

1 million! This is for the jackpot prize.

Is it a solid, a liquid or a gas? Best of luck.

Lightning. Uh... Right, well, it's not a solid.

And it's not liquid.

So it must be a gas!

INCORRECT BUZZER

Oh, bad luck!

Lightning is a fourth physical state called plasma.

What?! Plasma wasn't even an option!

It's a bit like a gas

and it can be found in flames and lightning.

Can't just change the rules! Yes, we can.

And that's all we got time for!

You'll be going home with a solid...

Great. I'll buy myself an ice lolly.

Join us again next time for another game of...

CROWD: Solid, Liquid or Gas! And plasma, apparently.

Give us a solid wave.

Sorting out the science beefs of the past...

I don't care if we ARE related to chimpanzees, Mr Darwin...

..with the justice of today.

..that's no reason to bring one into my courtroom.

Welcome to...

18th century chemists Joseph Priestley and Antoine Lavoisier

both believed they discovered oxygen first.

Can Judge Rinder decide which one is the actual gas giant?

So, Priestley, let's start with you. We all breathe oxygen every day.

What on earth makes you think you discovered it?

Because I did. Ha-ha! In August 1774,

I stumbled upon a gas in which things burned

more furiously than in regular air. I called it Dephlogisticated air.

Ah-h-h! Fake yawn.

You're certainly sucking

the oxygen out of the room with this boring chitchat. Talking!

You'll have your time to speak, all right?

And that time's now, off you go. Thank you, Rindy-pops.

May I call you Rindy-pops? Absolutely not.

OK. Your Honour, while Priestley was messing around

with his theories of de-farticated air...

It's dephlogisticated. ..I discovered oxygen.

So why have I got a plaque from the Royal Society of Chemistry

saying I discovered oxygen?

AS PRIESTLY: "Oh, look at me, I've got a plaque. I must be right

"because someone gave me a little badge."

I don't sound like that! And it's a big badge.

Quiet in my courtroom. Bailiff,

I want a badge with "judge" written on it.

Do carry on. In 1774, I hung out with Lavoisier in Paris.

I made the mistake of telling him about my discoveries,

and what happens next?

He's telling everyone HE discovered it.

Blah-blah-blah. Look, I was the one who actually got the science right.

Plus, I named it, so it's mine. Also,

here is one element you CAN discover.

Methane.

PARP!

That's enough. I don't want to hear any more from either of you.

I have an important contribution. Oh, no.

Well, it can't be worse than the last one.

My name is Scheele,

and I actually discovered oxygen in 1771,

before both of these two.

Ignore this man, Your Honour,

it took him years to finish his notes.

So what if it took me so long?

I wrote a letter to Lavoisier explaining

him everything I have found. But, oh, the letter went "missing."

You worked in a barn,

the letter was probably covered in cow plop.

Your mum's covered in cow plop. Argh!

Children, I'm appalled by what I've seen today.

You've all clearly had a hand in discovering oxygen.

And, frankly, the rest is just a lot of hot air.

Talking of hot air, can you open the window? I can still smell it.

You're quite right, Rindy-pops.

Open the window and let in some oxygen that I discovered.

That I discovered! I discovered it! I discovered it!

I discovered, I discovered!

Order! Order!

Frankly, this entire case has been a waste of oxygen.

I'm Dmitri Mendeleev. I created a famous list of

all the known chemical elements

known as the periodic table.

Things like gold, oxygen, carbon, and so on.

I arranged them all into a table that ultimately looked like this.

And not like this, which is the wrong kind of table!

OK. Chill out, man.

I wasn't the first to create such a list,

but I was the first to group the elements together.

Here's my original table.

I actually left gaps in my version because I guessed people

would discover more elements in the future.

And I'm hoping one day, there

might even be one named after me.

Now, here's my question -

how did I come up with my periodic table?

Did I - A -

ask my mummy which chemical elements were her favourites?

What do you think? Well, the answer is...

..B - I saw in a dream a table where all of

the elements fell into place as required.

So next time you have a crazy dream, pay attention.

It might just be telling you something amazing,

and you might end up with your own periodic table.

That's a stable! Whatever!

That human created a brilliant list of the elements.

Although I must say, I still get very, very confused.

There are so many of them! 118, to be precise.

Frankly, I lose track of what mixes with what,

what makes what go boom. Well,

luckily someone wrote a song to help.

Ah, the elements.

Every single thing in the world can be broken down

into some combination of the simple chemical substances

that we call elements, listed here in the periodic table.

Every single thing! I mean, these elements really rock!

Elements Everything you see is made of

Elements

Even you and me, we're made of Elements

The building blocks of all we know We're fundamental

Yes, it's elemental

Hydrogen atoms are lighter than air

They're invisible, explosive, so best beware

Mix two with oxygen, add energy and, bosh, right there

You end up with water - pretty cool, yeah?

Sodium's a metal when it's on its own

But mixed with chlorine and it's salt found in every home

Calcium's in chalk, teeth and in your bones

Also milk and cheese Consider your mind blown

There's nothing in the universe you can't create

Using the building blocks of these 118

Elements

The stars way out in space are made of

Elements

The entire human race is made of

Elements

The building blocks of all we know

In every creature, some of us will feature

Carbon is found in every form of life

It's also in your pencil

Now, that's called graphite

Mixed with hydrogen it makes most plastic things

A big chunk of carbon is a diamond ring

Iron is the centre of our planet's core

It's on the surface of Mars But wait, there's more

Add carbon and now you've got steel instead

It's also what helps make your blood cells red

Like different words are made from 26 letters

Elements combine to make something better!

Here we go! Elements

Every variation of the Elements

Is a new formation

Oh, the Elements

The building blocks of all we know It's incarnation and amalgamation

We list their symbols so we are able

To group them in the periodic table

118 known to exist

Who knows, one day we might add more to the list of

Elements Everything's constructed from the

Elements

So we have deducted that the

Elements

Are the building blocks of all we know

Every creation is a combination

We're fundamental

Yes, it's elemental

Elements!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

No security? What kind of mission is this?

Kilometres. Urgh?!

Kilometres.

Weird and gross stuff you now know

Hope you enjoyed The Horrible Science show!

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