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Well, that stage ought to be here any minute now, Obie.

Maybe I hadn't ought to go. Now, Obie, you gotta.

But Walter. Don't you worry none about Walter.

You can tell he's excited as he can be about you getting to make the trip.

Sure is, ain't he?

Maybe if I hold off till spring, Walter will feel like going with me.

You're gonna have to quit putting this off.

How long has it been since you seen your sister anyhow?

Well, let's see, uh, spring of '43. Make it now near 16 years.

Sixteen years and you're still trying to put it off.

What in tarnation does she expect? She's moved 40 miles away.

Hold it. That Obie and Hess Cartwright?

Yeah. Listen.

Maybe we ought to go over there-- Yeah? And what?

Well, you ain't forget what they done to us, have you?

That ain't likely. I also ain't forgot they can throw you in jail

for jumping a man in broad daylight either.

Willard here don't figure things like that out.

Because he's got nothing to figure with.

Oh, yeah? Well, I figure I can take you any time.

Yeah?

Now look what you done. You... All right.

Break it up or I'll break the two of you.

Hyah!

Ho!

Bye, Walter.

Now, Obie, you just enjoy yourself and don't you worry about nothing.

Old Walter is gonna love the Ponderosa.

Don't forget the music.

Well, I don't know about that, Obie. I ain't much on that music.

Walter's plumb crazy about the low notes.

He is?

I'll try.

Hey, here's your...

Hey, Obie, what's in there anyhow? Beans, boy.

Don't you remember them with the special seasoning?

Yeah.

There's plenty more stored in the cabin.

Help yourselves if you and Walter have a mind to.

Oh, no. No, Obie. Thank you anyhow. Thanks a lot.

I declare, boy.

With your peculiarities about vittles,

I don't hardly see how you got as big as you are.

Well, so long, Hoss. So long, Obie.

Take off. Giddyap, giddyap!

Looks like old Obie is going somewhere.

Figured that out, did you? Well, ain't he getting away?

Yeah, Macie, ain't he getting away?

No, he ain't getting away. He left that mutt here, didn't he?

Yeah.

Well, that means he's coming back.

What I gotta figure out is just what kind of trouble he's coming back to.

Now, Adam, if it was me-- It isn't.

You boys had better start digging those post holes early tomorrow morning.

But, Pa, we can't do that.

Why not? Well, it's gonna rain.

Who says so? Walter.

All you gotta do is look at Walter.

Oh, come on, Hoss. You're not Obie.

You're not gonna take that dog seriously.

All you gotta do is live with him for a while.

Yeah, he's the greatest excuse you ever had for not working.

Me and Walter went into town for the supplies, didn't we?

Oh, yeah, yeah. You brought back half the stuff we needed.

If I brought it all back, I wouldn't have had room to cram Walter on the wagon.

Hess?

Did you enjoy the ride with Walter?

Oh, uh...

Well, yeah, it was son of pleasant. Heh, heh.

Then enjoy digging those post holes tomorrow morning.

In the rain? Oh, come on.

It hasn't rained for two months.

And it ain't likely to rain for another two months.

Yeah, but, Pa, listen, all you gotta do is look at Walter over there.

Now, you see how that hair sort of swirls around there on his back?

That's the surest kind of a sign.

As a matter of fact, might even get a little thunder and lightning.

What thunder and lightning?

Come on, this time of year?

Hoss, I don't want to appear unreasonable.

But I'm running this ranch, not that dog's hair.

Ch, of course you are, Pa. I ain't trying to get out of no work.

Well, you'll dig post holes.

Ain't that Walter something, though?

Sure hope his hair doesn't get any swirlier.

We're liable to have snow. Yeah.

Well, I'll keep an eye on him, Pa.

If it does, me and you will get the stock in.

I gotta go to bed. Yeah, me and Walter too.

Goodnight, Pa. Yeah, goodnight, Pa.

Uh, Adam, you wouldn't mind exchanging bedrooms with me

for a few days, would you?

Well, why do you want my room?

Well, Walter is accustomed to a sleeping room

with a southern exposure.

Well, I guess I'm rugged enough to sleep in a room

without a southern exposure.

Uh, little brother, uh, you're gonna have to have a quilt for your bed.

No, I got a quilt on my bed.

No. No, you ain't, I put it on the floor for Walter.

Why my quilt?

Well, it's the warmest quilt in the house.

I know, that's why I picked it.

Yeah, well, me and Walter's gotta turn in.

Where did you get that thing?

Oh, this is a...

It's a horn that Obie left for me.

He wants me to play a few low notes for Walter

every night before he goes to bed.

It makes him relax so he can sleep better.

Relax? Relax him?

I haven't seen that animal upright or with his eyes open yet.

Well, he stands up and opens them every once in a while when he's eating.

You don't say. Now, you watch your funning, Adam.

Walter's a very sensitive dog. Besides that, he's our house guest.

Yes, I know. He's sleeping in my room.

Yeah, on my quilt.

He's right. I think we should apologize.

Oh, that ain't necessary, little brother.

Walter don't mind a little funning.

Ain't he a pure joy?

Come on, Walter.

What are we doing living here in Obie's cabin?

If we had to depend on your figuring,

we'd be living in a shack the rest of our lives.

Now, why don't you just shut up and leave the figuring to Macie.

Well, if it was up to me, I'd just go right on out and I'd shoot that Hoss

and then I'd wait for Obie to come back and then I'd shoot him too. And then--

You'd just go right over to the Ponderosa and shoot Hoss, huh?

Even if it weren't stupid, you'd couldn't hit the side of a barn with a cannon.

Oh?

Well, would you like to try me, Teague, huh?

Unh! Wanna try me, Teaguey boy?

Ain't you two gonna learn how to act in a business meeting?

The business at hand. The job we came hereto do.

Find Obie's gold. Have you forgot that?

But Obie put that gold in the bank.

That's the gold he had.

Now, I figure there's a whole lot more gold around here.

With Obie out of town, now is our chance to find it.

Oh, we ain't no miners. How we gonna find a gold vein?

I tell you, we should have got Obie alone and choked it out of him.

Yeah, but he ain't never alone.

He's always got that miserable dog hanging around advising him.

A dog advising him?

Well, now, if that ain't the limit.

But you heard Obie saying it all the time himself.

Many a time you heard him. Sure I have.

But he's got to be crazy to say it.

And you got to be crazy to believe it.

You calling me crazy?

I ain't never been a man to back away from a fact.

Oh, sit down.

I've been thinking about what Willard just said.

Did it strike you that Obie's extra brainy?

Ain't you heard a word I've been saying?

He don't make no more sense than a bath in the wintertime.

We ain't never got the best of him yet, have we?

That's because he's been just plain lucky.

Mighty lucky, wouldn't you say that?

Yeah, mighty lucky.

Yeah, a man that lucky has to have a powerful lucky piece. Ha, ha, ha.

Yeah. You know how I got it figured?

Walter's Obie's lucky piece.

Yeah.

You know what we're gonna do about it?

We're gonna change our luck and get even with him at the same time.

Ain't nothing wrong with the idea, but how do you aim to manage it?

Well, we're gonna dognap Walter.

And we'll let him advise us for a change.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

How much longer you figure we're gonna have to wait around here?

Ain't no telling.

Maybe they won't let Walter out at all tonight.

They've gotta let him out. It ain't tidy othenNise.

Well, I wouldn't have waited this long for the prettiest gel in the territory.

Shows you the difference between love and money, don't it?

Well, at least waiting for gals ain't so cramping.

I ain't so sure I can straighten up when the time comes.

Well, I got a cure that'll straighten you up.

Let me be, Teague. Let me be-- You two cut it out now. Come on.

Hey, hey, the door's opened.

Let me know when you get ready to come back in.

Come on.

Will you be quiet. You want them to hear us in there?

What are we waiting for, Macie?

Ain't no sense in catching him before.

Before what, Macie?

Yeah, you got a point, Mace. Yeah. Heh, heh, heh.

Come on.

Give me those meat scraps. Give me those--

Here, Walter.

Here, Walter. Tsk, tsk. Nice doggie.

Come on, Walter. Good boy.

Come on, nice puppy. Come on. Come on.

Get ready, you two.

Come on, Walter. Nice boy.

Come on. Nice boy. That's a good boy.

Get him!

I got him, Macie. I got him! You're choking me!

I didn't mean it, Teague.

You're always hitting me. Always hitting me.

No!

Oh, you boneheads!

Macie, I didn't mean it. Leave me alone.

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times,

you won't get ahead playing around on the job.

Where's the dog?

Come on, Walter.

Hey, don't it seem like Walter's been gone an awful long time?

Well, actually I hadn't noticed. I was so stunned by your practicing.

Yeah, Walter loves them low notes too.

I think I'll go out and call him.

Here, Walter.

Come on, Walter. Here! Here!

Time to go to bed, Walter.

Now, I ain't gonna wait up on you all night.

Where's Walter? I don't know.

Well, he must have took off or something.

Maybe he heard your practicing and didn't like the tune.

Walter likes the low notes. He'll be back when he gets ready.

Well, aren't you even worried about him?

Walter? Joe, Walter takes very, very good care of himself.

Well, I think I'll turn in.

Now, hold on there. You're gonna go to bed?

You're responsible for that dog.

Well, Pa, it ain't like I don't trust him.

Well, that's not the point.

The point is that you're gonna let that poor dog stay outside all night?

Well, if he wants to.

You know, Pa, after all, Walter ain't no puppy. Heh.

He's gonna make us rich. How?

How? How? How?

By finding us a gold mine just like he did for Obie.

Well, how do you figure on making him go about it?

Well, we give him a pouch of gold, let him take a sniff

and then just turn him loose.

That's all there is to it? Oh, it's as easy as pie.

Then all we have to do is start digging.

Digging.

Digging?

Yes, digging.

With shovels? Well, we ain't got paws.

I've never been too overly fond of digging.

Listen, why can't we just rob the bank

and take the gold that's already been dug?

Yeah, why can't we do that?

I could give you as high as three or four reasons.

But I'm gonna give the both of you the main one.

We may get shot at.

Oh, that's just because folks ain't overly fond of having their banks robbered.

Now, you gotta expect that, Macie. No, not anymore.

We won't even have to dodge one bullet.

Thanks to Walter here.

Now let's get something to eat and get some sleep.

We got a rough day ahead of us tomorrow.

Clean up the cards.

Sure glad we found this pot of Obie's beans.

Oh!

OthenNise one of you'd have been going back to the shack for supplies.

Get your hand out! I gotta feed Walter first.

He needs a lot of pep tomorrow.

Now.

That's a good boy, Walter.

Some manners.

All you twos thinks about is your own selves.

What's the matter with you two?

You know, there's nothing I like better...

How about that? It hardly took him no time at all.

Ain't there an off chance he could be making a mistake?

No, sirree. And we're gonna start right here.

Why can't we just rob the bank like everybody else does?

Yeah, I ain't never been overly fond of digging.

And I ain't overly fond of getting shot.

What's the matter with you meatheads?

Don't it strike you that digging's mighty close to hard work?

Us mine owners

don't look at it that way. Mine owners?

Well, we figure that mine owning ain't much better than robbering.

Yeah?

We ain't gonna stand here and argue about it.

Now, there's gold in the ground there. We're gonna get it.

Now get those shovels down and start digging.

Well, listen-- Dig!

Dig.

I-- Ugh.

Cut it out! Come on, cut it out, you two.

What did I do? What did I do, Macie?

This mining's serious business. Now just start digging.

I know.

Macie! You hit pay din?

No.

I'm quitting. You're quitting?

For what? I'm plumb tuckered out.

All right, Teague will dig again for a while.

No, I won't. I'm as tuckered out as he is.

You can't quit now.

According to my calculations,

we're just about ready to strike that main vein.

You've been calculating your calculations for hours, Macie.

Well, it must be a different kind of did than I figured on.

Hard din does take a mite longer.

Oh, it was a crazy notion to begin with. I'm ready to call the whole thing off.

Yeah, let's call the whole thing off.

You mean you ain't gonna dig no more?

Not another shovelful. I'd rather rob the bank.

You'd rather get shot. I'd rather shoot myself.

Well, if you want something done right, there's only one thing to do about it.

Do it yourself.

Come on, Willard. Let's go back to the cabin.

Obie's mine! I found Obie's mine!

Morning, Pa. Morning, Hoss.

Ahem. Has any, uh--?

Has anybody seen anything of Walter?

No. No, not a thing.

Imagine that rascal. Staying out all night.

Yeah, he better be through his Skylarking before Obie gets back, eh?

Yeah, dad-burn it, Obie gets back today.

Oh, today? Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna eat breakfast. I'm starving.

Any other time, this much supplies would last us a month.

Now we'll be lucky to get through the week.

I ain't never seen a critter eat so much in all my born days.

What I'm worried about is if there's enough money in that bank

to show a profit after we get through paying for Walter's vittles.

Willard? Yeah?

Why don't you--? Oh, cut it out, you two pinheads.

Shut up! What did I do?

Hey, Hoss Cartwright.

You don't reckon he's looking for us, do you?

Ain't no reason why he should. Then what's he doing in town?

Offhand, I'd say to meet that stage coming in.

Whoa!

Howdy, Obie. It's sure good to have you back.

You're a sight for sore eyes yourself. Yeah.

Well, looks like that trip done you some good.

Well, I got to admit it did.

Where's Walter? Well, he ain't to be found.

Took off, did he? Last night.

Ain't he the racy devil?

Hey, what's them scalawags doing in town?

I don't know.

From the looks of them, they must have took up honest work.

I ain't never seen nobody that played out.

Come on.

I'm just as glad to see him.

Now we can move back to our own shack.

Yeah, and we can get back to robbering the bank too.

Yeah, it'll be a pleasure to get back to clean work

instead of playing around digging tunnels.

You're both wrong. What do you got in mind?

The way I figure it, there's no sense of beating our brains out

trying to rob that bank.

We'll let Obie get the money out of the bank for us.

Oh, you must have stayed in that tunnel too long, Macie.

All that dirt and all going up your nose, it'll clog up your thinking. Heh.

Nothing wrong with my thinking.

Obie will be more than glad to get that money for us.

We're gonna hold Walter for ransom.

Ransom? Yeah.

What's that, Macie?

Wish we had some good news for you, but Walter's still missing.

Well, Walter ain't missing.

Well, where do you think he is?

I know where he is. He's out frolicking.

See, Pa? Ain't no use in us getting all cut up about it.

Obie will just stay here with us till Walter gets back. That's all.

Well, you're sure he's coming back? Always has.

Well, we've got nothing to worry about, then.

You just stay here until he gets here.

Well, that's mighty nice of you.

But I reckon he won't be too long. Yeah.

Obie, how long does Walter generally stay out on one of these little deals?

Well, it differs.

I mind once Walter went romancing, he was gone for a whole week.

Well, tell me, isn't it just possible that, uh, Walter might run into

the right kind of gel dog one of these times and never come back?

Me and Walter is natural bachelors.

There ain't no gal dog been born that can separate me and Walter.

Oh, I see. Yeah.

Well, then I suggest that we go inside and, uh, wait.

How much money you--?

How much money you reckon we ought to ask for?

Why don't you just ask for the moon? We got as much chance of getting it.

There ain't nobody crazy enough to pay us real money for a dog.

Obie is. After all, Walter's valuable.

For what?

Well, there's some things you just can't pinpoint, Willard.

Especially if they ain't there.

What's the matter with you?

Don't nothing satisfy you around here lately?

That's because we ain't done nothing right around here lately.

We've been working ourselves to the bone,

digging holes, stealing mutts, and we ain't made a dime.

That sounds pretty close to right, Macie.

Fact is, the way that hound eats,

we're a sight worse off than when we started.

Now you're gonna stand there and fuss over a little grub

when we got a chance to make a fortune.

A little grub?

Walter has got a right smart appetite, you know.

Yeah, and lucky for us he has.

Ain't nobody gonna pay 10,000 for a sick dog.

Ten thousand?

Yeah, that's what I decided.

Well, figuring by the foot,

that is from hereto here to hereto here,

Walter should be worth about...

Hey, wait a minute.

What's the matter?

Walter's nose is hot.

Of all the dirty tricks.

He eats every blessed thing in the territory

and then when we're ready to cash in, he ups and kicks off.

Nobody kicks off around here unless I say so. You hear me?

More likely an upset stomach. Or the gout.

Willard, get the water.

It's all right, boy. It's all right. We'll take care of you.

Keep up these treatments. I'll finish this ransom note.

Counting the one on the end, how many E's in the word "dear"?

D-E-R-E.

Ah. That's a mighty fine supper, Hoss.

Too bad the rest of your family missed it.

Yeah, well, they're gonna eat in town

on account of they got such a late start, see.

That Hop Sing is some cook. Yeah.

I never figured I'd take such a shine to Chinese grub.

Uh, what was that we had?

That was roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, Obie.

Did you hear that?

Front door. Yeah.

Bet you that's, uh, Walter.

It's for you, Obie.

Well, ain't that nice? Ain't had a letter since I don't know when.

Well, that didn't come in the mail. Oh, hand-carried.

I wonder who would want to get in touch with me that bad.

Do you reckon it's from my sister? I don't know.

You could always open it and find out.

It ain't signed.

Dad-burn it, go ahead and read it. What does it say?

It say if I want to get Walter back, I gotta pay $10,000.

Ten thousand dollars?

You ever hear the like of it? I sure ain't.

Me neither. Walter's worth a heap more than that.

You ain't gonna give them that $10,000?

I sure am. I just hope Walter don't find out how little they ask.

Obie, that's crazy. That's just like dumping good money right town a well.

You ain't got no guarantee they'll deliver Walter back to you

even if they get the money.

No, sir. What we gotta do is outsmart them. That's what.

I don't know, Hoss.

If Walter ain't outsmarted them, I don't know how we can.

Let me see that letter, Obie.

Says here you gotta leave that money

at the end of Oak Canyon by noon tomorrow.

Well, that gives us plenty of time. Come on, Obie.

You knotheads were supposed to stay here

and look after Walter while I delivered that ransom note.

Now, what have you been doing?

You delivered the note already? Yeah, I left it on the door.

You know, this beats that robbering a mile.

You better tell him.

You tell him. You was in on it as much as I was.

But you thought of it.

Well, somebody better tell me something.

Now, what have you two been up to?

Macie, we always stuck by you, ain't we?

Through thin and thick.

So? So, Willard and me figured

that nursemaiding critters ain't got nothing to do with outlawing.

It ain't fitting. So?

So we let him loose.

Is that all?

Is that all? Is that all?

Come on, you two, get up. Get on your feet. Get up.

Hey, that hurts. You gone loco, Macie?

What have you gone and done with him?

Who? Walter.

Ain't he here? You know he ain't here.

Honest, Macie. We ain't done nothing.

We ain't moved all night, Macie.

You sure? I'm sure, Macie.

He's gone.

He gone.

Walter's gone.

I ain't never seen nobody act like that.

He ain't moved for the most pan of two hours.

Sure is taking it hard.

Plumb pitiful, ain't he? Sure is.

Why don't we put a cold rag on his forehead?

That pepped up Walter.

No, that's the cure for a hot nose. I ain't sure it's gonna work on Macie.

How about a mustard plaster? No, that's for a wheeze in your chest.

You can see for yourself he ain't wheezing.

You don't like none of my ideas.

Well, why don't you think of one yourself.

I ain't no sawbones. I'm an outlaw.

How about some castor oil?

Castor oil.

Yeah, if it was one thing my mama set store by, it was castor oil.

No matter what ails you.

You got any? I ain't never without any.

Come on.

He don't look like he's ready to take none of this now, though.

We'll have to give it to him. I'll hold and you pour.

All right? All right.

What do you knuckleheads think you're doing?

Doctoring you.

Doctor me for what? For what ails you.

You've been acting mighty strange later.

I've been thinking. Thinking?

We didn't have no way of knowing that, Macie.

We were just trying to help.

Don't you think you ought to have told us something about it, Macie?

All right, all right. I'm thinking how to get Walter back.

Won't you just try a little of this stuff?

Shh!

Walter.

Hoss, you sure we're doing the right thing?

Absolutely, Obie.

Why, with all these traps we get set around here,

if them fellas even try to get close to that ransom box,

why, we're bound to get them in one of these.

That ain't what I'm worried about.

What are you worried about? It's Walter.

If he's suspected we was laying all these traps and all

instead of paying the money for him, he might get upset.

Don't you worry. Go get that ransom box.

Now put it over there on that ledge and be careful when you walk

between that tree and that rock, so you don't get in our traps.

Be careful!

How is he? Fine as frogs' hair. Heh, heh.

Looks like our troubles are all over.

I ain't so sure.

I still think we ought to get out of the dog business altogether.

Yeah, Macie, why can't we just go back to plain outlawing?

You have to finish what you start OthenNise it makes for bad habits.

Maybe, but I don't-- No maybes about it.

All I have to do is go out and pick up our money.

You ain't going out in the daytime? In the daytime, Macie?

Somebody's bound to see you in the daylight.

In the daytime. There ain't nobody gonna see me.

I got it all figured out, a roundabout way nobody can follow me.

Now, you two stay here and watch Walter.

I don't trust him.

He might just grab that money and keep on going.

You stay here with Walter.

Sure, Teague.

He don't trust him?

You stay here with Walter.

Get him, Willard. I'll get him.

Yeah, get him.

I got him, Macie. That's a skunk, stupid.

Ten thousand dollars. Right down the well.

Oh, that Walter's got an evil mind.

What are we gonna do now? We're gonna get it out.

With What?

Well, we gotta have something long and slim and...

No, no, Macie, I-- Macie, I-- Macie, I--

Mania, Mania, I can't swim! Whoa! Whoa!

It's gone. How'd they get through them traps?

I knew Walter wouldn't like this!

Come on, come on, you lunkheads. You're heavy.

Willard is dizzy from the blood running to his head.

Well, tell him to stop getting dizzy and grab that box.

Macie says, "Stop getting dizzy and grab the box."

What'd he say? He needs about another foot.

What does he think my arms are made of, rubber?

All right, I'll scrunch down a little bit.

Aah!

How stupid can you get as to run into your own trap?

You was running right along behind me.

You're hanging here beside me, ain't you?

I told you it was a bad idea. Dad-burn it, Obie.

I can't figure out how they got to that ransom box

without first getting in one of these dang traps.

Maybe Walter helped them.

Now, why would he do a thing like that?

Because we just didn't pay them the money.

He ain't that kind of dog.

Well, he can get mean when his feelings is hurt.

Obie, I'll bet you if old Walter knew the predicament we was in right now,

he'd be right here to help us, just like that.

We gotta build a fire and dry out this money.

I gotta dry myself out first, Macie.

Hey, Teague, you like to drown me

when you come crashing down on top of me like that.

How do you think I felt with Macie on top of me?

He's heavier than a-- Oh, stop the yapping and build a fire.

Why don't you spread it around and dry it that way?

Yeah, Macie, spread it around.

Get the wood and build a fire. The wood.

Newspaper!

Newspaper!

Newspapers?

Ah, I quit. I don't want any more to do with it.

What do you mean? I am quitting this outlaw business.

Macie, you mean you're turning honest?

Yes, yes. Teague?

Castor oil. Castor oil.

You think you could manage to play chess with your feet on the floor?

Oh.

I'm getting worried about Hess and Obie.

I think we ought to go out looking for them.

You sure they didn't tell you where they went?

Oh, we told you, they were flying in and out of here today

like they were on some kind of a secret mission for the governor.

Doing what?

Doing what? Oh, they didn't say, Pa.

They said they didn't wanna jeopardize Walter.

That's ridiculous.

Well, where the devil have you two been?

I was just about to send a posse out looking for you.

Well, Pa, we, uh-- We son of got hung up.

Yeah, we was left up in the air, so to speak.

Yeah.

Well?

Pa, we was out trying to get Walter back.

Oh.

Back? Back from where?

I'm afeard Walter is in a heap of danger.

Oh, is he?

From what?

From falling off a chair?

Walter!

Am I glad to see you, boy. I miss you something terrible.

He's all right, Obie? Sure, look at him.

He's tickled to death to be back.

He is? He's awfully excited.

You've got to expect that after what he's been through.

Well, yeah, especially being high-strung and all like he is.

Come on, Walter. Wait a minute. Where you going?

Going up to read that ransom note to Walter.

Oh, what's the matter, can't he read it himself?

Not without his glasses.

Ain't he a caution, Pa?

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