All language subtitles for 5.21 King of the Mountain

The following program

is brought to you in living color
on NBC.

Get a letter from the president?

I know.
Somebody left you a million dollars.

Oh, hi, Pa. Pa, hey.
Yeah.

You remember Jim Leyion?

Jim Leyion? That big mountain man?
The one you had the big fight with?

I'd as soon remember
an earthquake.

Well, Pa, he's getting married.
Jim Leyton's getting married?

Yep.

He wants me to be his best man.

On account I'm the only fellow to have
ever whupped him fair and square.

Jim Leyion.
There's a man that walks around

with trouble in a bundle
and loves every minute of it.

Well, Pa, according to this letter,
he's changed.

Him, changed?

Hoss, do yourself a favor.
Keep away from him.

He's trouble. Big trouble.
Nothing but trouble.

Well, but even so,
it's son of an honor

to be invited
to be Jim Leyion's best man.

I mean, up there
in the mountain country, his country.

I reckon I ought to be thinking about a
wedding present for him or something.

Well, it better be portable
if you're going to travel all that way.

Hey, Pa,

ahem, you know them
little matched ponies you got

from old Jean Hendricks?

Oh, no, you don't.
Not them matched ponies.

You keep away from them now.

Why don't you get him
something simple?

Like a pair of matched bears.

Or dueling pistols,
or lace for the bride.

Oh, Pa, lace?

Jim Leyion ain't gonna marry
no gal like that.

Now, look, Pa,
I'll offer you a fair price for them.

And I know you didn't pay much
for them.

Pa, look, I owe it to him.

That was the best danged fight
I ever had in my life.

Yeah, you almost got yourself killed
in that best danged fight you ever had.

Now you want to be with him again.

Oh, I just smell another fight.

But you're set on going, aren't you?

Hmm. Well, I tell you what.

The matched ponies are yours.

Thanks, Pa.

It's your bones too.

You Paiutes?

Comanche?

I come in peace, whoever you are.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Dag burn your ornery,
cantankerous hide.

You ain't changed a bit, Jim.

Oh, yes, I have,
you big hay-shaking farmer.

In the old days,
I'd have used a real Indian.

Doggone, Hoss,
it's good to see you,

even if you are
a plumb sorry-looking sight.

Wait till I start prodding you
down that aisle.

Then we'll see who's gonna be
the sorry-looking sight.

Now, hold on.

Just because you whupped me
fair and square in your own backyard

don't give you no license to forget
who's king of this here mountain.

And I'll tell you something else.

If you don't get a pot of coffee on
in about nothing flat,

I'm gonna give you a chance
to try your luck again.

You better save yourself
for that wedding.

You know something, Jim?

You got a good life up here.

Yeah, but it gets awful lonesome.

Well, I never did mind being lonesome
if I was by myself.

It's being lonesome with somebody
that scares me.

Scares me too.

You know, Hoss,

I reckon that's the reason
that I run all over the country,

getting into trouble like I did.

Then I come back home here
and seen how Julie'd growed up.

You sure do get moony-eyed
when you talk about her.

I reckon you mean it, don't you?

Hoss, she's cut right out
of these here mountains.

But soft, though.

And I sure do mean it.

Well, sir, I'll tell you, Jim,
you're gonna have all the good luck

that I can possibly wish down
on you.

Hoss, that's the reason I asked you
to be my best man.

You know, with all that tallow,

why, you ought to pack
a little bit of weight upstairs.

Very funny.

She probably don't deserve you,
even if she has got poor judgment.

Shh.

What's the matter?

Somebody's coming.

It's Julie, I think.

Well, you figuring on shooting her?
You ain't even married yet.

Just stop your yapping.

I think she's got her pa along.

Jim?

Yeah, Julie?

You got your pa with you?

Yeah, but he ain't armed.

He promised
he wouldn't start anything.

Will you talk to him?

Where's he at, Julie?

Behind the rock.

You sure he ain't armed?

I searched him myself.

All right, sweetheart
bring him on in.

Come on, Pa. Come on.

You're gonna get my head shot off.
Oh, Pa.

You're leading me to the slaughter
like a lamb.

Now, you gonna keep your word?

Now, look, if I made you a promise,
I'm gonna keep it.

It ain't gonna make no difference.
That skunk you think you're marrying,

he don't know the difference
between right and wrong.

Now, Pa, I don't think.
I know. There's gonna be a wedding.

If he lives that long.

What's that?
Well, this is Hoss Cartwright.

He's gonna be best man
at our wedding.

Hoss, this is Julie.

Grizzly, Hoss.

Hello, Hoss.
I sure heard a lot about you.

Well, thank you, Miss Julie. I've heard
a lot about you too. Mr. Martingale.

Any friend of Leyion's
is a modal enemy of mine.

Am I your enemy, Pa?

That's different, Julie, honey.

You're my daughter.

And besides,
you don't know what you're doing.

Jim, look,

have I been invited here
to be a best man at wedding

or second for a fight?

Stick around.
Just might be a pallbearer.

That's right, just keep a-talking.

You keep that big mouth shut!
Stop it! Stop it, the both of you!

Now, Pa, you ain't never broke
a promise to me before.

Are you gonna make this the first?

And you.
You promised to negotiate with Pa.

Did you mean it?

All right. Let's get it over with.

Not just talk this time?

You'll both really try?

I'll try.
Well, I promised, didn't I?

All right, then.

Hoss, will you take me for a walk?

These two got some palavering
to do.

Go ahead, Hoss.

Yes, ma'am. I'd be happy to, ma'am.

If he tries anything, just holler, Julie.

Well, I just may not.

Well, it's kind of simple, really.

Those two are the only real loves
of my life

and I can't get them to be friends.

What's it all about anyhow,
Miss Julie?

Oh...

They're in there arguing over
apiece of land they both lay claim to.

A big piece of land?

A very, very little piece.

But a lot of stubborn pride.

Sometimes, pride's worth more
than land out here.

Look, how did they come about
laying claim to the same piece of land?

It was the stake in a card game.

They both had the same hand.

Pair of trays, ace, jack, four.

And they've been arguing over it
ever since.

That was 14 years ago.

Yeah, well,
there's one thing for sure,

this sure ain't no atmosphere
for a wedding, is it?

Oh, sure is quiet in there.

That's a bad sign.

Means they're up to something.

Look, I'll go over and stick my head in,
take a peek.

Oh, you be careful.

They'll both be real touchy.
I know them.

Gentlemen, I'm sorry
to interrupt your conversation,

but I got some stuff in my saddlebags
over here

I needed to tend to.

I was a fool to let her come over here
and palaver with a swindling cheat.

You ain't gonna bamboozle me out
of what's mine. Never again.

I don't want what's yours,
you bellyaching old billy goat.

All I want is what's mine.

What you're claiming is yours, ain't.

I won that fair and square
in that poker game.

You did not. You lost.

Boy, will you get out of here?
You're getting on my nerves!

Now, he's my guest.
Don't you go telling him what to do.

That's right.
Keep your bodyguard close at hand.

You're gonna need him,
you fork-tongued old lizard!

Now, watch out what you're saying,
old man.

Julie's pa or not, there's a limit
to what I'm gonna take off of you.

Well, hurry up and get to it, because
I'm sick of your empty blather!

You talk like you're sick
of breathing too, you--

Now, listen to me.

Why, you two sound like a bunch
of overgrown children.

And I sure ain't gonna spend
the rest of my life

listening to you growling
at each other.

Or maybe one of you losing hold
and killing the other.

And I sure ain't gonna choose
between you, neither.

So don't make it come to that.

Now, you better settle this thing
somehow.

Oh, Julie,
you know I'm a-trying to settle it.

Yeah, me too, honey.

It's just this lying cheat
you're marrying.

See? See what he said?

You both make me sick!

You two are blaming everybody
but yourself.

And that poor little girl,

she's soaking up the misery
from both of you.

Oh, simmer down.
It ain't as clear-cut as all that.

Well, it is to me.

You wouldn't recognize a solution

if it came up
and punched you in the gut.

I would too.

You would, huh? How about you?

I ain't heard nothing out of you
but a lot of meddling talk.

And no solution to nothing.

Why, you...
Jim, Jim, Jim! Wait.

Wait a minute, Jim.

Jim, look, why don't you give the land
to the old man?

He's got his self-respect
buried there in it, Jim.

And I'll guarantee if you do,

he'll hand Julie over to you
wrapped up in a white ribbon.

Now, what about my self-respect?

Shoot, I wouldn't be no good to Julie
or myself, either one, without it.

I told you one time before, Hoss,
what my life has been like.

Well, it's just my pride
that's all that's kept me alive.

Julie knows that
as well as anybody else does.

Since when's it gonna hurt your pride,
Jim, to give a little?

Well, if I go giving into old Grizzly now,
why, I'll lose everything.

Hoss, I've carved a life for myself
out of these mountains.

I've been called a dirty, no-good,
renegade half-breed.

I've been locked up, shot up, spit on,
but I won.

Shoot,
I'm king of these here mountains

and I ain't gonna give that up
to nobody.

Hoss, you tried to understand me
one time before

and you saved my life.

I'm asking you, just string along
with me again, will you?

Jim, how far is it from here
to that little piece of property?

I'd like to take a look at it.

What's the matter?
You wanna buy it?

Oh, I might,

if you two ever decide
who rightfully owns it.

Come on. Let's go take a look at it.
All right.

Jim, you mean to tell me
that that rock pile out there

is what you have been fighting over
all this time?

Well, I'll admit it's a little bit dry,

but they tell me
it used to be a real pretty spot

before the creek changed course.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't--
I don't reckon it's so bad at that.

What are you driving at?

Nothing. I just might have me
a little idea. Giddyup.

I've been thinking.

There's an easy solution
to the problem

of who owns that property.

Ain't no problem. I own it.

You arbitrate.

I a-what? What'd you call me?
No, no, Grizzly.

I ain't calling you nothing.
That ain't what arbitrate means.

Arbitrate means that the two of you
will go out and get a third party.

Somebody that ain't got no stake
in neither one of you

and somebody
that both of you agree on.

Now, this third party then
does some thinking on the matter

and he decides
who rightfully owns the property.

And then both of you agree
to abide by his decision.

Oh, now, hold on just a minute.
No, no, no, Pa, he's right.

You know he's right.

Why, it's the only way.

Sounds fair and square to me.

Somewhere in this, there's a trick.
I can feel it.

I can feel it too, Pa.

I can feel my last chance
coming up.

Well, supposing I lose this here...
Whatever that danged word is.

Does that mean I wasn't cheated?

Does that mean that I gotta bless
the marriage of my only daughter

to the man what cheated me?

Do it for my sake.

Let me marry in peace.

Look, the way I see it,
it's the only way

you two are gonna get by each other
without busting heads.

What's wrong with knocking heads?

It ain't a proper way
to bless a marriage, Pa.

I want my marriage blessed proper.

But, honey, I just don't like
this fancy way of settling things.

But you'll do it?

For me?

Please?

Well, who do you wanna try first?

Well, how about the mayor?

No, not the mayor.
I didn't vote for him.

I told him so too.

What about a judge?
Is there a judge in town?

Comes by twice a year,
but he wouldn't do nohow.

Dad blame idiot went and fined me $2
for busting up the saloon one time.

But, Jim,
he suspended the sentence.

It don't matter.
It's the principle of the thing.

What I done to that saloon
was worth $10 any day.

Well, let's try the store clerk.

Either of you owe him any money?

Yep.

Yeah.

Hmm. Well, at least
you're on an equal footing.

He's kind of old, ain't he?

Yeah, snores real loud.

Sign of character.

I never seen an honest shopkeeper
in my life.

Me neither.

Hey, wake up.

Wake up.

Grizzly. Jim.

Something wrong?

Why, Pa and Jim are finally
gonna settle their land dispute.

They need an arbitrator.

Please, folks.
I got a wife, I got three kids

and I'm allergic to cross fire.

Anybody knows I'm not too bright.

And I don't know a darn thing
about land.

You fellas don't have to worry
about the money you owe me, okay?

Please don't make me do this.

Hey, what if--?

No, forget it. It wouldn't work.

What about the undertaker?

Nope.

Never paid him
for planting Uncle Jake.

Uncle Jake weren't worth planting.

What about a doctor?
There ought to be a doctor in town.

They're supposed to be brave
and honest.

No, I never paid him
for birthing Julie.

Oh, we've been through
this whole blamed town.

They're either too scared
or one of you rejected them.

Somewhere in this town,
there's an arbitrator,

and I'm gonna find him if I have
to turn over every stinking rock.

I'm going home.

Well, I'm going for the saloon.

All this thinking has parched me.

Yeah, why don't you?

I reckon she's fed clean up by now.

I don't blame her none, neither.

You dag burned lunkhead,
why don't you go on after her?

That's what she wants.
And say something nice to her too.

Dang it, Jim, you don't know nothing
about women, do you?

All right, Romeo.

All right.

I'm sorry, Julie.

I'm sorry that it couldn't have been
simple and easy.

Sorry?

Why should Jim Leyion be sorry
about anything?

Why, he's king of the mountain.

Kings don't have to be sorry
about nothing.

Right now I don't hardly feel
like king of a molehill.

But, Julie, I can't help it, what I am.

When I asked you to marry me,
it was me you said yes to,

not something or somebody else.

Life sure would have been easier
had I turned you down.

I reckon it ain't too late
to change your mind.

Jim.

It was too late the day I met you.

Give me a beer, please, sir.

You dogging my footsteps,
farmer boy?

Nope. Just trying to be sociable.

And that ain't too easy with you.

I don't mean it to be.

Grizzly, why don't you swallow
a little bit of that pride of yours

and give Julie a chance?

Now, you gotta start someplace.

So why don't you decide
on an arbitrator by tomorrow?

Now, look, farmer boy, don't push me.
Just back off.

I got ornery blood.

Ain't nobody pushing.

Oh, yes, there is.

You are. All of you are.

You just won't let a man grow old
in peace.

You got to take away
everything he's got.

Well, you ain't doing that to me, boy.

I can still look out for myself.

Now, just leave me alone.

I'm sick of you. I'm sick of all of you.

Now, just leave me alone.

Dag burn.

If you ain't got a knack
for putting together more words

and saying less with them
than any man I ever met in my life.

Hey, Parson.

Hey, Parson. Parson.

Thank you for stopping.

I ain't gonna hurt you.

You ain't? Aren't?
No. Why would I wanna do that?

Well, I haven't been doing very well
in these pans.

You see, I'm needed so badly
that I'm not at all wanted.

I seem to get run out of town
before I even get in.

Yeah, it is son of tough country,
ain't it?

Yeah, I'm just not cut out for it.

Yes, it was all a mistake, anyway.

I applied for duty
at the Borneo Mission,

but they sent me here instead.

Yes, sir.

I got a mighty big favor
to ask of you.

A favor?

A big one.

You a Republican?

We're not allowed
to discuss our political affiliation

while under the cloak.

I'm sorry.

Did you ever catch a trout
on a feather?

I prefer silver spoons, myself.

What's the difference
between a steelhead and a rainbow?

If I remember correctly, the steelhead
is the marine form of the rainbow trout,

more correctly known
as Salmo gairdneri.

Oh, the steelhead would be
Salmo gairdneri gairdneri.

What's worth more,
a skunk or a white weasel pelt?

Hmm. The weasel.

Now, don't you go give me that look
like your ma used to do.

Yes, thank you, Mr. Cartwright.

Yes, I've reached my decision.

Well, outwith it.

Eh...

Oh, yes. The decision.

By the moral power vested in me
by The Mission Society,

and approved
by the Greater Seminary Council

and weighted by the Good Book,

I have examined the facts

and looked into my head and soul
for a decision.

Well, outwith it!

Uh...

Please.

I know very little about poker,

but even to the innocent,

it's obvious that the hands
of the disputants were identical.

Now, the logical way to settle
that dilemma would have been

for one to sell or trade one half
of the land to the other.

Therefore, my decision

as arbitrator
is that the land be sold to a third party

and the money divided
between the disputants.

Now, if you will excuse me.

Thank you very much, Parson.
Thank you.

Well, gentlemen,
that decision seems most fair to me.

Now, me being a third party,
I'm offering you $200 for that property.

That's a hundred dollars a piece.

Anybody wanna top it?

Alrighty.

Looks like it's a deal.

And, Grizzly, there's your hundred,
and, Jim, there's your hundred.

Now, since I'm the sole owner
of that property out there,

it looks like we can stop
all this feuding, don't it?

Suits me.

You wanna shake, Grizzly?

Sure it suits you.

You won this round
with double-talk and fancy doings.

You had it figured all the time.

Make a feel out of me
in front of the whole danged town.

Now, Pa, you promised to abide
by the decision.

You gonna break your word?

Well, honey, there's some promises
come first before others.

You. You come in here
with your pocket full of wise sayings,

all ready
to solve everybody's problems, huh?

Sitting up there on your fine horse,
all big and fat, huh?

Getting yourself some old run!
of a parson

who don't know the difference
between a poker hand

and a scalping knife
to stand in front of the whole town

saying I don't own what I own.

And my own daughter,

listening to him, siding with him.

Your ma would've had a few things
to say to you about that.

Out of my way!

Don't you talk to me about Ma.

She'd have loved seeing you
break your word this way.

My honor's put out there
on that land.

It's being stomped on.

Pa, I don't know
what you're talking about anymore.

Well, then I guess maybe
there's just ain't no more use talking.

He'll cool off, Julie.

Look, honey,
we've got our own lives to live.

Ain't nothing we can do about it
if a stubborn old man

wants to walk on everybody
that crosses his path.

It just ain't fair...

...being caught
between the two men I love this way.

Jim.

Let her go.
I'll kill him. 50 help me, I'll...

That's all Julie needs,
for you to kill him.

Hoss, he's looking for a fight.
You know that as well as I do.

All right.
Is that what you want, a fight?

Or a marriage?

Look, Jim,

that old man has put his pride in front
of his own daughter's happiness.

Now, is that what you want?

Boys, let's get back to work here
while the action's red hot. Red hot.

It's 640-5 and 340-1,
3-to-1 and 640-5.

Six-to-five, no wedding.
Three-to-one, Leyion wins the fight.

Come on and get in here. What's
the matter, don't you feel lucky?

All right, get back down here,
get some action here!

It's red hot.
How much do you want? Give me--

What do you want? Give me...

It fits, Pa.

I'm just the same size as Ma.

That's right, honey, same size.
On the outside.

On the inside too, Pa.

And I love you
just as much as she did.

Yeah, but she never went contrary
to my thinking, my feelings, like you.

Well, she was your wife, Pa.

And I wanna be a wife too

and be beholden
to my husband's thinking and feelings.

Not when it's to that Jim Leyion.

But, Pa, I love him.

And if you love me,
you'll bless my wedding.

Not when it's to that sneaking thief.

Pa!

Ow.

Dag burn it, hold still.
This is gonna be hard enough like it is.

What is this,
a dressing or a lynching?

Well, it's a-- It's a little bit of both.

But better you than me.

Some friend you turned out to be.

Dang it. Now, hold still.

lam.

Quit shaking, then.

I ain't a-shaking.

You ain't? Hold out your hands.

Hoss, I ain't been so scared
since that bear run me up a tree

when I was 5 years old.

Oh, what are you scared of?

Did you ever get a good look at me?

What do you suppose a pretty
little thing like that Julie's doing,

marrying an ugly galoot like me?

Danged if I know, Jim. But if I was you,
I'd hurry up and get to that church

before she changes her mind
and backs out.

Hey!

Hey, congratulations, Jim.
Bygones is bygones.

Thanks a lot, Harry. They sure is.

You're hooked, Jim.
No use tormenting you no more.

Might as well shake.
It's been a long time, Wesley.

Say, I want you to meet my good friend
and best man, Hoss Cartwright.

Howdy. Hi, how are you, Wesley?
Hi, Hoss.

Howdy. How are you, sir?

Look at her, Hoss.

Yeah.
Boy, ain't she something?

Julie, how beautiful.

Oh, thank you.
Congratulations.

Mr. Leyion?

Give me the ring.

What'd I do with it? Dag burn it.

Hey, here.

Now, hang onto it.
Right.

We are gathered here
to wed in holy matrimony

Jim Leyion and Julie Martingale.

Here in this conclave of God,

we must face our nature
and our destiny.

By the power vested in me,

I hereby declare
this ceremony commenced,

with this stipulation,

that if there be any man present
who has a reason

that this marriage
should not take place,

let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.

I'll be speaking now.

Don't do it, Grizzly.

Jim Leyion,
you and me is gonna fight.

Grizzly, you're forcing me to kill you.

You ought to be ashamed.
This is a church.

Jim, you can't fight him.

If you do, you'll lose everything.

All right, Parson,
this is a saloon again now.

Just stay out of my way, Hoss.
Jim, I can't let you do this.

Dag burn it, it just ain't right.

Let him go, Hoss.

Let them kill each other.

Maybe they're right.

Maybe it's the way it has to be.

Pa, you feeling so old
and sorry for yourself

has turned you
into a foolish old man

who's given his daughter
a wedding day she'll never forget.

I just wanna ask you one thing...

...and it's the last thing I'll ever ask.

Why?

Tell me why!

Julie, honey, that piece of land
used to be real pretty,

with a stream running through it
and poppies growing there.

Your me, she was just 16.
She used to go there and pick flowers.

I met her there.

I promised her
that I'd always keep that place.

And you bet it on a poker game.

And it's the shame of that day
that's done this to us.

No, he cheated me!

Pa. Pa, nobody cheated you.

You could have stopped that
a long time ago.

It's too late now.

You could have said something
about that land.

You keep your hatchet face
out of my affair, do you hear?

It ain't no concern of yours.

Now, come on.
Let's get on with the fighting.

Whoop. Wait a minute, boys.

Fight about what?

You fellas seem to be forgetting
that I own that property now.

You ain't got nothing to fight about,
have you?

All right, here's your money back.
Now it belongs to me again.

Oh, no, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

That money's just for half of it,
even if I did decide to keep it.

You see, I still own the other half.

Jim, are you still king
of this here mountain,

or has your friend here taken it away
from you?

Well, I'm sorry, Hoss.

Now we own it together again, huh?

All right, now let's fight
and settle this thing once and for all.

Wait a minute. Hold it.

You're overlooking
another very important fact.

And that is that,
well, that land just ain't for sale.

I bought that property
fair and square,

and most of the people in this room
were witness to it.

If you two want that property,
you're gonna have to fight me for it.

Either one of you or both of you.
Don't make no difference.

Well, all right.

One side, Jim. I'll take him.

No, I'll whup him. He's my friend.

Now, just a doggone minute...
Now, hold on, Grizzly.

If you and me go fighting one another,
well, we ain't gonna have

enough whupping power left
to handle him.

Tell you what we'll do,
we'll flip for him.

All right. I'll take heads.

Thanks, Hoss.

Tails.
Oh, shucks.

It's gonna be different this time.
Oh, yeah?

Oh, man.

Hey!

Hey, that was a little dandy, Jimmy.

Come on, I got 3-to-1 on you!
Get up!

Jim, this altitude's winding me.

Well, if there's one thing in this world
you've got plenty of, it's wind.

Come on.
Do you love Julie?

More than you'll ever know!

You're gonna have to give up that land
or you'll never get her.

My ancestors would turn over
in their grave!

Here's looking at you.

Come on, Jim! Come on, Jim!

Well, Grizzly,

any doubt in your mind
who's king of the mountain now?

Give up?

Never.

No, no! It's me, Jimmy boy.

We sure whupped him, didn't we?

What do you mean "we"?

Well, on account
of you did most the fighting,

you can still be king of the mountain
if you want.

But we don't let no outsider
come in here

telling us what to do, huh?

What about the land?

Well, remembering's
the important part.

Let him keep it.
He bought it fair and square, didn't he?

I think we better get
that big guzzler outside

where he can get some air, huh?
Yeah.

Pick your bets up.

I'm gonna pay off now.

The king of the mountain.

The king of the mountain.
The king of the mountain.

King of the mountain.

I better go get Julie, huh?

Oh, no, Jim. Let me.

It's more fitting.

Somebody better go get
a bucket of water.

Julie!

Here you are, sir.

What happened?

Pa kept saying
that you and he won the fight.

Honey, let's get inside
and get on with the wedding.

Come on in, sweetheart, before
your pa changes his mind again.

You all right?
Yeah.

You go on inside,
I'll join you in a minute.

Jim. I'm still your best man, ain't I?

You sure are, partner.

You know something?
I think I won after all.

This has been a color presentation

of the NBC Television Network.