Original subtitles

Mr. Hasselhoff, I've been trying to get a hold of you,

as you can probably tell from my seventeen calls.

If | didn't know any better I'd think you're avoiding me.

It's rather urgent that we speak as soon as possible.

| must be dreaming.

This is not a dream, David. This is real, David.

- Please take the wheel. - If this is not a dream,

you should go to autopilot.

- How about that? - This is just a regular Pontiac TransAm.

It doesn't have auto-pilot functions.

- That was fiction. - You're talking to me, but no autopilot?

- Gotcha. - This voice is imaginary,

but the car is real. It's complicated.

Please take the wheel, otherwise you will die.

That was close.

- Stop... - Don't do that again.

- ...talking! - Stop imagining me talking.

- Don't be an idiot. - You're not an idiot,

you're just very, very tired.

By the way, that Mitsubishi is still there.

- Is he following us? - Only one way to find out.

Take the next exit and stop.

| can't believe I'm listening to you.

Looks like you are just imagining things.

What the hell is that crazy fucker trying to do?

It looks like he's trying to kill you.

- Do something! Shoot rockets at him! - | have no rockets. This is not that show.

- What should we do? - Just break hard to a full stop.

Now what?

- He has a crowbar. - | can see that.

- Lock the doors. - | can't lock the doors.

- Can you do anything?! - | can tell you

with that crowbar, this man has a 99.9% chance to break the windows.

Hey! Are you okay?

Yeah!

Oh, | was... err...

Holy shit!

Are you David Hasselhoff?

You tell me.

| can't believe it.

David the real Hasselhoff?

And you're driving that car from The A-Team!

- Different show actually. - Right.

Did you see that red pickup

- push my off the road? - No, not really.

| must've fallen asleep.

I'm terribly sorry.

- | hope your truck is alright? - Don't worry about it. Hold on.

Take these. Trucker pills.

They'll keep you awake. Guaranteed!

- Can | take a picture? - Sure.

Cool.

Cool.

Alright then.

- Take care, Mr. Hasselhoff. - You too.

- Oh, and thanks! - Don't mention it. And hey!

“lL love it when a plan comes together.”

- Hey, Batur. - Hey man!

Just wanted to say, no worries, don't rush,

| can just rehearse without the lead of my play, no problem at all, really.

I can ask my mom to stand in for you,

- take you time! - I'm so sorry.

No way.

Dude! Michael Knight!

Can | take a photo with you?

I'm a super fan!

Woah.

Good bye.

| got to go.

Sorry, sorry.

| have to go, okay. | have to go.

Hey!

What's all this?

What are you doing here?

We can't be seen together, you must leave now!

I'll explain later, okay? The usual time and place.

- But stick to the protocol! - Screw the protocol.

We have a lot to talk about.

- Right now. - We can't talk here!

You're blowing the whole damn operation!

- You got the car? - You're goddamn right | got the car.

And | was almost killed by the "Other Side"

on the fucking Autobahn!

- You're being followed? - Not anymore. | barely made it here alive.

- Understand? - | do understand.

- We'll sort this out later, okay? - ASAP, as in: the rehearsal break.

You better be there. Or there will be no operation.

Not with me.

- | will murder you, David! - | just arrived.

I'll be there in a minute.

...Will think | murdered Andra too, but | don't care!

| will go to prison for the rest of my life because I...

- ...murdered David Hasselhoff and Andra... - | love you too, Batur.

Ah, Mr. Hasselhoff, | was waiting for you all morning

and just was about to give up,

especially after you seemed to leave in a hurry yesterday.

| have to tell you

- |am anxious to take your testimony. - Detective Comberg, great to see you,

but I'm terribly late.

If | don't go on stage soon, the director is going to murder me.

Murder you? For being late?

- You think that's an actual possibility? - Well, I'm about to find out.

You suppose Batur N. Bathur could have killed Andra Shandra

- for being late for rehearsal? - No, no. That's highly unlikely,

but | don't want to be bait for that theory, okay?

Of course not.

I'll watch your rehearsal and catch you on your break.

Okay, sounds good.

Mr. Hasselhoff, hold on!

| can't believe | forgot to tell you the most incredible thing.

We got the autopsy reports from Ms. Shandra and her associate.

They died the night you arrived in Gorlitz!

That's...

- ...very tragic. - What is most interesting is,

| had Miss Shandra's cell phone records analyzed and it turns out

she logged into the WIFI of your hotel room that night,

just before the time she died.

That's nothing you should worry about too much. But it means

that you probably were the last person to see Miss Shandra alive.

Your testimony will be of great value to us.

- And you can... - Are you done?!

Oh, Sorry! | apologize.

| will be quiet. | apologize.

See you later. Break a leg!

You said | may have been the last person to see her alive.

You forgot the murderer. He or she was the last one.

Of course, you're right.

You said something like that before. It's my fault.

David, would you mind?

- Sorry guys, be right there. - Just get on the fucking stage.

- David? - I'm sorry! I'm coming.

Thomas is coming. We're meeting during the break.

Okay, everybody! Let's get started.

We are at Scene 27.

Lester's fall from heaven.

Jasmin, you're Lester, right? | mean,

we are still doing this, yes?

- Yup! - Yes!

Okay!

Jasmin, then you should familiarize yourself with the stunt trap.

Want to give it a go?

What?

What what?

What as in: no way. | don't do my own stunts.

We're going to have to get a stunt double or something.

- You're not serious, right? - I'm dead serious.

What if | break my leg. And then what?

It's just two short meters and there's a bean bag the size of

your... ego to catch your trip.

It's literally impossible to break one's leg.

- Please don't fuck with me now, Jasmin! - I'm not fucking with you.

I'm giving you the information that I'm not doing that fall.

- We have to get a stunt double. - You do the fall.

There's no way to use a stunt double in that scene.

- You're fucking out of your mind. - No, you are out of your mind,

if you think I'm going to do that fall.

| thought it was just a fall to the ground.

Lester falls into hell, not to the ground!

Do the fall or you'll wake up in real hell...

Should we step in here?

...you'll wish you did this tiny little fall into fake hell!

| don't believe in the concept of hell.

If | die,

| will be reincarnated as a Yakushima Macaque.

My spirit animal.

The only real hell is working with you!

You are the fucking antichrist of theatre, Jasmin!

| wish Andra would rise from the dead and take your place again!

I'd rather have a talentless freak on my stage than you!

But you are an amazing actress and it drives me insane

that | have to calm down now and make myself a slave to your insanity!

| have no fucking choice, but to apologize to you...

... later!

And become your best friend again!

- And you fucking know it, you little... - Don't say it, Batur!

- You little...! - Don't say it!

| know what we'll do.

Let's switch roles back.

Great idea, Jasmin.

Let's do that.

Problem solved. Right, David?

- Brilliant. - Okay...

Unbelievable. Then, could we...?

- Can we...? - Wowowow.

| can't just hop on and off a character.

| need a few minutes.

Tom Maria, | saw you laughing there. Let's have a conversation. Come on.

Okay, everyone take a 30-minute-break, yeah?

Mr. Hasselhoff!

That was quite something, huh?

Very passionate director, very intense.

- Where can we talk? - | can't right now.

This is a crisis, the whole play may fall apart.

- I'm sure you understand. - Of course. But maybe

Miss Van Otten's life is actually in danger.

| mean Mr. Bathur said some pretty passionate things.

Passionate things sometimes lead to passionate crimes.

Maybe this is what happened to Andra.

You think Mr. Bathur could have killed Miss Andra because he

wanted a better actress?

One actress dead.

The other replacement threatened just now.

Given that situation | could have him arrested!

- | hope you're taking this seriously. - Yeah, sure.

I'm not joking.

You have to give it all you got.

Because it's not just about performance,

it's about transformation.

Only then you become one...

...with your character.

| hope you have a good reason for dragging us down here.

- This is getting risky! - He saw me at the Market

and he doesn't understand yet that this is my cover.

Normal guy doing normal stuff.

It's my damn job to have a normal job, David.

Henry is an actor and | work at a hardware store.

And you are an...

international icon.

- This is how this works. - You know, | get the feeling

that one day you're going to run out of explanations.

| get the feeling

- you ran out of balls to see this through. - We're all on the same team.

Yes, it's been stressful couple of days...

You're damn right it's been stressful.

- This fucking detective's right on my ass. - He's on all our asses,

- But we'll get it under control. - Yeah? How?

He's upstairs right now, waiting for me.

| can't keep evading him.

- Did you hear what he just said to me? - He's got nothing.

- He's just trying to make you nervous. - Well, it's working.

"The Network" will take care of him. Just hold him off a bit longer.

- How? - You're a super star.

You've got no time. He can't force you.

Comberg is just one of our many problems right now.

This guy from the "Other Side" tried to kill me,

He didn't act like a spy. He acted like a maniac.

Well, maybe he has gone rogue.

- Trying to take matters in his own hands. - He hasn't gone rogue. He's gone mental!

| almost died!

If it weren't for some random truck driver showing up

| would've been clobbered to death with a crowbar.

Where is the damn "Network" protection you promised me?

You were protected. That was no random truck driver.

He gave me pills. Trucker pills he called them.

Yeah, pills are sometimes given to

agents suffering from stress and sleep depravation.

You can take them occasionally, but don't overdo it.

As for the agent from the "Other Side". He won't be a problem much longer.

- We're taking care of him. - Like you took care of Andra's body?

This is not a spy movie, David.

- Are you sure? - Yes! This is real life.

Plans don't always work out as planned. It's adapt or die. Let's adapt, okay?

Most important thing is that you have the car.

- That was amazing work, David. - Yes, it was.

Now we use that as leverage with Feysal. Bring him here.

There's something I've been meaning to tell you:

Feysal was the other bidder.

As soon as | nabbed the car from under his nose,

he called my agents.

He won't come to Gorlitz.

He wants me and the car to come to Ebesir.

- What?! - What?!

You heard me. He wants to fly me and the KITT car

to Ebesir to go on some joy ride with him.

Holy shit.

- My plan backfired. - Yeah.

This is bad. But it could be worse.

- We just adapt. - Adapt my ass.

There's no way I'm going to fucking Ebesir to take on that country's fucking king!

This whole thing is too big. This thing is over!

He's not coming and I'm not going.

Let's do the scene with David and Jasmin.

David, let's go!

- Melli, go get David! - He's not in his room.

Alright, you have to go up now. We'll figure something out.

You wait here. | give you a sign when it's safe.

I'm coming! I'm here.

I'm coming up.

| was just...

| was just checking the bean bag

and preparing the stunt. Okay.

- Ready to do it. - Great. Jasmin?

Are you now ready to be Josefine again?

If that's what you want from me?

I'm ready. That is... if you apologize for the terrible things you said.

Of course he apologizes. Right, Batur?

lam...

I'm sorry. | really am.

To be honest I'm...

...intimidated by your... talent.

Good enough for me.

- Let's move on. - Alright.

Let's do the scene.

Lester choses hell over a heaven shared with... Josefine.

From the top. Go!

- What the hell? - These are Tom Maria's pants.

He was wearing them a minute ago.

- ls he running around naked now or what? - Maybe he's here!

Tom?

Tom?

Fuck!

| didn't hear anything.

| have to go up to the rehearsal.

Wait a minute.

There is still a while before your next appearance...

There!

Gone back to where he came from!

Back to where he belongs.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BEAN BAG?!

- ...and burn for all eternity! - David? Are you okay?

I'm fine! I'm okay!

- Just move on! - Don't interrupt me!

| hoped to never see you again, you selfish liar!

Oh my god. What's he doing here?

Don't tell me he's part of this thing too?

- He is now. - I'm not part of anything.

- | didn't hear anything. - He heard everything.

You're kidding.

Is that how you take care of things?

Apparently he's some kind of strange pervert.

How the hell were we supposed to know that?

- You dragged us down here. - I'm not a pervert.

Why'd you move the bean bag?

- Are you... trying to kill me? - That was me.

Tom Maria was hiding back there.

- |am so sorry. - Oh fantastic!

Now we have two more problems.

My leg is fucked,

- and Tom Maria is a fucking witness! - | didn't witness anything.

- Shut up, Tom. - | told you we shouldn't meet here.

- I'll just leave and forget this happened. - Shut up, Tom.

- What are we going to do? - There's only one thing we really can do.

No, no, no. Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

- What are you talking about? - Shut up, Tom.

- | don't see any other way. - We can't have another actor missing.

Don't you think that'll be a little bit too suspicious?

I'm not missing. I'm right here.

- David's right. We can't kill him now. - Kill me? Are you nuts?!

- Fair question. Are you nuts? - You have a better idea?

- Well, | have a better idea! - Shut the fuck up, Tom!

- I'll scream. - Reveal yourself!

- Actually, no. I'm leaving. - You're not going anywhere.

Holy shit.

Reveal yourself!

David, you can come up now!

You need help?

David?!

You okay, David?

- Say something! - Yeah, I'm coming!

I'm coming. I'm coming.

I'm coming up.

Okay.

- Okay. - You need help?

No, I'm okay. I'm okay.

I'm okay.

You're sure? You don't look okay!

Your leg looks weird.

Breathe!

I'm fine. Let's just go from the top.

Melli. Call an ambulance.

This is not happening. This is not real. Please.

- This play is cursed. - Don't worry about it.

I'm fine. My leg might be twisted...

...but my spirit...

Who are you?

We need to operate on your knee and foot.

We'll fix it all, but you'll need to wear orthotics for a few weeks.

And it's best if you stay in bed for a while.

| can't stay in bed. | have to...

Don't worry. The insurance is paying.

We have to cancel the premiere.

No, don't cancel. | can be in the play.

I'll do the show in a cast, if | have to.

| have to cancel everything. | will be ruined.

You know, David? It's like what they say:

Find what you love...

...and let it kill you!

Don't cancel. Maybe | can figure something out.

Oh my god! Everyone's going crazy.

They think the play's been cancelled or they have to find a replacement for you.

But who could replace David Hasselhoff?

| know, | can be an arsehole.

But just because I'm an arsehole, doesn't mean I'm wrong...

Thank you for switching the roles back.

You literally took a fall for me. | should have broken my leg!

| never thought I'd say this, but | hope you can bounce back quickly.

Looks like we need you.

| need you!

Hey David, how are you holding up?

My leg’s still fucked.

A few screws in your leg won't kill you. You can walk with crutches by tomorrow.

- No reason to skip a performance. - Where the hell are you?

One of the secret mission control centers of "The Network".

We came here for a debrief due to the complexity of the situation.

| admit there's a lot to juggle.

Ebesir, Comberg, the play, your leg, the "Other Side" and now... Tom Maria.

What are they going to do? Not actually going to kill him, right?

Of course not. We just need to scare the shit out of him so he doesn't talk.

- You must play along. - Where is he?

Holy fuck.

We need to scare him, like we said. He'll be fine, don't worry.

Let's discuss Ebesir.

- What's there to discuss? - "The Network"...

They've given green light for a mission on foreign territory. You're going.

- No, I'm not! - Your flight is Monday.

- You're out of your mind! - If you don't go, we fail.

The Festival of Cleansing and Healing is coming up. People will die.

You wanted to make a difference in this world? This is your chance!

- You can save these people. - | can't. I'm just an actor.

I'm not going to fucking Ebesir.

Now, Mr. Hasselhoff...

You running away from me all the time makes me think you have something to tell me.

Something serious.

You can't run from me now. Let's talk.

Subtitles: digital images, 2022