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1
00:00:07,589 --> 00:00:08,920
What's wrong, Michael?
2
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:10,651
I got gum in my hair.
3
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:11,749
You do.
4
00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:14,124
This just stinks.
5
00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,753
Don't touch it.
Please, don't touch it!
6
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:16,854
You've got a ton of dandruff.
7
00:00:16,931 --> 00:00:17,989
Okay, let me be.
8
00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:19,124
How'd you get gum in your hair?
9
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,760
I was walking in and I noticed
something shiny under Stanley's car,
10
00:00:21,836 --> 00:00:26,102
and I'd gotten under to see what
it was, and I messed up my hair.
11
00:00:26,174 --> 00:00:28,233
All for a stupid
piece of tin foil.
12
00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:30,607
But, best-case scenario, you
thought it was a quarter.
13
00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:32,145
Kill me, right now.
14
00:00:32,213 --> 00:00:34,408
We have peanut butter
in the kitchen.
15
00:00:34,582 --> 00:00:37,244
I don't feel like peanut butter.
Get me an ice cream sandwich.
16
00:00:37,318 --> 00:00:40,719
Nope, not for you, it's for your hair.
And it is 9:00 a.m.
17
00:00:41,623 --> 00:00:44,319
No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter.
People are gonna get mad.
18
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:47,088
Hey, hey, hey. This is my
hair we're talking about.
19
00:00:49,597 --> 00:00:51,030
Smells good.
20
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,324
Tastes good, too.
21
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,301
Oh, don't, that's disgusting.
22
00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:57,069
Wow, a lot of calories.
23
00:00:57,138 --> 00:00:59,402
Well, just don't
leave it on too long.
24
00:00:59,874 --> 00:01:01,808
Keep massaging, please.
25
00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,339
Oh, yeah, that's nice.
26
00:01:40,415 --> 00:01:42,747
Hey, Michael, how was
your date last night?
27
00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,220
I will be honest. The dating
has not been going well.
28
00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:50,888
Look, men are visual creatures.
29
00:01:51,526 --> 00:01:57,761
We crave beauty. Like
a piece of fine art by
30
00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:02,028
any number of renowned artists.
31
00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:07,769
Or an arty photograph
of Cindy Crawford nude.
32
00:02:08,076 --> 00:02:11,273
That, but the women I'm
getting fixed up with are...
33
00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:17,483
Not that they aren't nice
or have great personalities,
34
00:02:17,552 --> 00:02:21,613
they just, they just lack
a certain Crawfordness.
35
00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:25,356
I am livid. Absolutely livid.
36
00:02:25,426 --> 00:02:26,518
It's ridiculous.
37
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:29,222
Yes, I'm having the Scranton
branch come in on one Saturday,
38
00:02:29,297 --> 00:02:31,731
so they can re-enter sales
that they made on the phone
39
00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:34,996
as sales made by the website, which
they should've done in the first place,
40
00:02:39,874 --> 00:02:42,809
My favorite branch.
How's everybody doing?
41
00:02:43,745 --> 00:02:45,178
Hey, man, do you mind if
I run something by you?
42
00:02:45,246 --> 00:02:47,214
Love it! Go.
43
00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:51,376
Well, I kind of feel like what we have
going for us is our customer service.
44
00:02:51,619 --> 00:02:53,780
And no matter how much
we change this up,
45
00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:56,483
I don't know that a website's
gonna be able to replace that.
46
00:02:56,557 --> 00:02:58,718
I can tell you've thought about this a lot.
I appreciate that.
47
00:02:58,793 --> 00:02:59,782
Thanks.
48
00:02:59,861 --> 00:03:00,919
David Wallace does, too.
49
00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:04,158
You told him all about this
at the Christmas party, right?
50
00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:06,991
Did I?
51
00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:08,228
You did, yeah.
52
00:03:08,303 --> 00:03:09,292
Hmm.
53
00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:12,196
Watch your back, Jim.
54
00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:14,639
I'm just kidding.
55
00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:20,940
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
have your attention, please?
56
00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:23,210
I know that a lot of you
are very angry with Ryan,
57
00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:25,343
because he is the reason we
all have to come in tomorrow.
58
00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:30,448
However, I swear to God, if
any of you hurts him in any way
59
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,685
emotionally, or taunts him,
60
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,321
or makes fun of his height
or his half-beard...
61
00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,661
Okay. Thanks, Michael.
He... Yeah.
62
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:39,927
I'm here today
63
00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,970
to do some creative problem solving
about Dunder Mifflin Infinity
64
00:03:43,037 --> 00:03:44,971
and field your questions.
Question.
65
00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:46,028
Dwight.
66
00:03:46,107 --> 00:03:47,131
Why am I being forced
to come in tomorrow
67
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,335
and pretend that a website
made sales that I made?
68
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:52,607
This is a temporary measure to
increase the legitimacy of the site.
69
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,342
I don't like when my clients call
me to help them use the website.
70
00:03:55,416 --> 00:03:57,043
I'm not seeing
commissions on that.
71
00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:59,643
I hear you, Stanley. That
is a great observation.
72
00:03:59,721 --> 00:04:04,351
Problems like that will not happen when
we launch Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0.
73
00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:06,288
When will that be? TBD.
74
00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,385
Phyllis.
75
00:04:07,462 --> 00:04:08,486
Did the police solve
the problem with...
76
00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:10,895
Yes, yes, they did.
Yes, they did.
77
00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:15,129
Yes, the social networking feature of
the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website
78
00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,728
was infiltrated by
sexual predators.
79
00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:20,740
I don't understand why our website
needs to have social networking at all.
80
00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:22,708
Yeah, actually I have to
agree with Dwight on that one.
81
00:04:22,777 --> 00:04:26,269
It's all about creating a
one-stop consumer experience.
82
00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:28,281
All right? You're chatting
with your friends,
83
00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:30,146
you're talking about
the latest music.
84
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:31,276
About the election.
85
00:04:31,352 --> 00:04:35,550
All of it is happening in
our virtual paper store.
86
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,183
And then an older gentleman
asks you, "Boxers or briefs?"
87
00:04:38,259 --> 00:04:40,659
I don't get the big fuss, here.
I like the site.
88
00:04:40,728 --> 00:04:44,129
If I had created a website with
this many problems, I'd kill myself.
89
00:04:44,198 --> 00:04:45,290
Do you have a question, Kelly?
90
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,458
Yeah, I have a lot of questions.
91
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:48,229
Number one. How dare you?
92
00:04:51,706 --> 00:04:57,338
Ryan has done a very good job, and
I am not applauding sarcastically.
93
00:04:57,412 --> 00:04:59,107
Think about it. A month ago,
94
00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,375
nobody would go on this
site, because we were worried
95
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:05,852
about getting molested or losing
our identity, having it stolen.
96
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:12,484
But now, at a time TDB, all of
these problems will be in the past.
97
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,028
You done good, kid.
You done good.
98
00:05:19,734 --> 00:05:21,929
Well, it has been nice
seeing you again, my friend.
99
00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:23,027
You, too.
100
00:05:24,972 --> 00:05:27,338
Oh, Ryan, I need a
girlfriend so bad.
101
00:05:27,408 --> 00:05:28,932
Michael, let me go.
102
00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:30,170
Let me go, Michael.
103
00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:31,336
All right.
104
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:35,081
Do you know any girls in New York
you might want to hook me up with,
105
00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:38,050
that might be interested
in a guy like me?
106
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:39,848
Nah. Nah.
107
00:05:39,921 --> 00:05:41,513
Sorry, man. Well, you tried.
108
00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:43,056
But, seriously...
109
00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,820
You should see the girls I
meet at clubs in the city.
110
00:05:45,893 --> 00:05:46,985
Unreal.
111
00:05:47,061 --> 00:05:48,426
They sound great.
112
00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:53,026
Bye, everyone! Stay real,
Scranton, all right? Peace!
113
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,068
Would you have
sex with Meredith?
114
00:05:57,138 --> 00:05:58,162
What?
115
00:05:58,239 --> 00:05:59,399
Do you think she'd
keep it quiet?
116
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:00,998
I'm gonna go to my desk.
117
00:06:01,075 --> 00:06:04,909
Jim, it's not the horniness, okay?
It's the loneliness. That's...
118
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:06,303
I know.
119
00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:08,842
Let's go to New York. We'll
go clubbing with Ryan.
120
00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:10,213
I can't. Yes, you can.
121
00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,047
You're single, I'm single.
It'll be awesome.
122
00:06:12,119 --> 00:06:13,177
I'm not single.
123
00:06:13,254 --> 00:06:14,721
Who are you dating?
124
00:06:15,356 --> 00:06:16,380
Pam.
125
00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:18,015
That's still going on?
126
00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,155
Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff.
127
00:06:23,231 --> 00:06:25,791
We're going to New York to party
with Ryan and to meet girls.
128
00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:26,993
- Yeah!
- Oh, yes.
129
00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:31,232
Count me in, dudes. I am in
serious need of some bro time.
130
00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:35,334
Old ball and chain's been a lot
more chain than ball lately,
131
00:06:35,409 --> 00:06:37,104
if you know what I'm saying.
I'm right here.
132
00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:40,670
No, singles only. Singles only.
Also, three is unlucky.
133
00:06:41,983 --> 00:06:43,348
Curse of three. Sorry, Andy.
134
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,681
Cannot take any chances on curses.
Not tonight.
135
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,449
Let's go. Everybody, I will see
you tomorrow, Saturday morning,
136
00:06:48,523 --> 00:06:51,822
probably wearing the same clothes
that I'm wearing right now,
137
00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:54,117
if you catch my drift.
138
00:06:54,262 --> 00:06:55,320
We get it.
139
00:06:55,396 --> 00:06:56,886
I am going
140
00:06:57,565 --> 00:06:58,623
to go get laid.
141
00:06:58,699 --> 00:06:59,723
Goodbye!
142
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,324
With sex!
143
00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:06,730
You know what? If we all stayed
a couple hours late tonight
144
00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:10,004
without Michael distracting us, we
wouldn't have to come in at all tomorrow.
145
00:07:11,846 --> 00:07:15,247
So I caught everyone before they
left, and I told them my idea.
146
00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:16,676
And they loved it.
147
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,515
Because this is a group
that respects good ideas.
148
00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:22,321
The one time a
year they hear one.
149
00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:27,584
Ryan's assistant told us
150
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:30,631
that he would be at
this club this evening.
151
00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,325
It is called Prerogative.
152
00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:38,571
This place is packed!
153
00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:40,129
Fire hazard.
154
00:07:40,474 --> 00:07:41,566
Packed with
155
00:07:41,842 --> 00:07:43,309
"beautiful babies."
156
00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:45,942
Swingers, classic.
157
00:07:46,747 --> 00:07:50,080
Jon Favreau, tall
guy from Dodgeball.
158
00:07:50,952 --> 00:07:52,385
These women look
like white slaves.
159
00:07:52,453 --> 00:07:54,683
No, they're just hot. Hotties.
160
00:07:54,755 --> 00:07:57,952
I don't know. When you think about
it, Cabo is really the Third World.
161
00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,585
I don't go to a place like that
to see more poverty, you know?
162
00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:01,685
You go there to get
some glamour, and...
163
00:08:01,762 --> 00:08:02,751
Hey.
164
00:08:02,863 --> 00:08:03,852
Michael?
165
00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:04,955
Hey.
166
00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:06,056
What are you doing here?
167
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,157
Well, you know,
168
00:08:07,234 --> 00:08:09,099
just taking you up on
your offer to party, so...
169
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,159
Ta-da!
170
00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:11,903
That is so awesome, man!
171
00:08:11,973 --> 00:08:13,167
All right!
172
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:14,732
And you brought this guy!
173
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:16,037
Yeah!
174
00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:17,371
Oh!
175
00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:20,803
Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight.
176
00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:22,280
I know it's you guys! Okay.
177
00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:24,318
I'm so psyched you're here.
Well...
178
00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,612
All right!
179
00:08:27,154 --> 00:08:28,280
Let's get a drink!
180
00:08:28,356 --> 00:08:29,380
Let's do it!
181
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:38,124
Thanks a lot, guys! Good job!
182
00:08:41,136 --> 00:08:42,160
Later.
183
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,737
Nice job, everybody.
184
00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:44,931
Great work.
185
00:08:51,279 --> 00:08:54,407
Did you not tell the security
guard we were working late?
186
00:08:54,850 --> 00:08:57,080
Nope. I didn't.
187
00:08:57,953 --> 00:09:00,717
But let's go inside and
I can call him right now.
188
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:03,724
We can't. I locked the office
from the inside when we left.
189
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:06,352
Perfect. You guys worked
together on this one.
190
00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:10,923
If I'm not in my bath with a glass of
red wine in one hour, you're both dead.
191
00:09:15,404 --> 00:09:18,567
There is a master key and
a spare key for the office.
192
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,865
Dwight has them both.
193
00:09:21,443 --> 00:09:25,140
When I asked, "What if you die, Dwight?
How will we get into the office?"
194
00:09:25,213 --> 00:09:28,614
He said, "If I'm dead, you
guys have been dead for weeks."
195
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:32,616
Guys, I want you to meet a really
good friend of mine. This is Troy.
196
00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:33,746
Hey, nice to meet you.
197
00:09:33,822 --> 00:09:34,846
How're you doing?
198
00:09:34,923 --> 00:09:36,220
Hi. Dwight.
199
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,759
You resemble the
Tolkien character.
200
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:41,796
He basically is, man. He's
a regular banking wizard.
201
00:09:41,863 --> 00:09:43,990
No, no, no, not a wizard.
A hobbit.
202
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:46,325
Bottle service, y'all?
203
00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:48,835
Oh, okay. All I know is,
204
00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:52,067
I would like some chicken
fingers and a Midori Sour.
205
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,869
We don't serve food here.
206
00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:57,035
Oh, okay. Then just
bring me two cups,
207
00:09:57,112 --> 00:10:01,173
one with olives, and another one
filled with maraschino cherries.
208
00:10:03,018 --> 00:10:05,213
Do you live in a
regular-sized house?
209
00:10:06,054 --> 00:10:07,681
Yeah, he's a normal guy.
He's cool.
210
00:10:08,423 --> 00:10:09,890
You really don't have
his phone number?
211
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:12,222
I told you, I have the
number that rings here.
212
00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:13,420
Do you want that number?
213
00:10:13,495 --> 00:10:15,190
I might have it in here.
214
00:10:15,464 --> 00:10:17,159
Wow, that's great, Toby.
215
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:19,096
It's so random that I have it.
216
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,657
Toby, you're the best!
217
00:10:20,736 --> 00:10:24,035
When I put it in, I thought it might be a
waste of time, but I guess it was worth it.
218
00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:26,506
Great. It's under here
as "security guard home."
219
00:10:26,575 --> 00:10:28,475
Did you not get his name, or...
No.
220
00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,943
It's ringing... Does anybody
have his name, quick?
221
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:32,070
Yes, it's Eddie.
222
00:10:32,147 --> 00:10:34,081
It's not... It's not Eddie.
It's Evan or...
223
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:35,548
Hank. His name is Hank.
224
00:10:35,617 --> 00:10:38,279
No, guys, his name's not Hank, it's...
Is it Edgar?
225
00:10:38,353 --> 00:10:39,377
Elliot. Elliot.
226
00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:41,388
Is it... Hey, chief.
227
00:10:42,057 --> 00:10:44,218
This is Jim Halpert from
228
00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:45,656
where you work.
229
00:10:46,027 --> 00:10:50,191
You are the guy who sits behind the desk.
You're the...
230
00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,766
The African-American guy.
231
00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,324
I mean, you're...
232
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,297
Who have I got here?
233
00:10:56,371 --> 00:10:59,829
Dwight Schrute, man.
How's Schrute Farms?
234
00:10:59,908 --> 00:11:01,170
Good.
235
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,074
This guy owns his own beet farm.
236
00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:04,169
Insane!
237
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:06,305
Well, it's weevil season,
but we were prepared.
238
00:11:06,381 --> 00:11:09,043
"Weevils." What a
crazy word, man.
239
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,685
I don't even know what that means.
What does that mean?
240
00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:14,119
They lay their eggs inside
the unripe beetroot,
241
00:11:14,189 --> 00:11:16,282
then, come springtime, the
babies eat their way out.
242
00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:17,689
Crazy! Sick!
243
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:21,220
That's too much for me, man.
I'm gonna hit the bathroom.
244
00:11:21,296 --> 00:11:23,287
You've already
been several times.
245
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:24,389
Yeah?
246
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,058
Maybe you have some kind
of bladder infection.
247
00:11:26,134 --> 00:11:27,192
I don't know. Maybe.
248
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,930
I'll order you some
cranberry juice.
249
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,801
With vodka. You're the best!
250
00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:33,969
Do you have powers?
251
00:11:34,576 --> 00:11:35,804
Oh, thank you, Hank.
252
00:11:35,877 --> 00:11:38,539
You are a lifesaver, Hank.
Appreciate it.
253
00:11:38,613 --> 00:11:42,242
All right, so Hank is going to come
down here. He's gonna let us all out.
254
00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:44,615
He said it should be
just under an hour, so...
255
00:11:44,686 --> 00:11:45,948
Oh!
256
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,045
We did it.
257
00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,955
We should all make sure to give
him a big tip this Christmas.
258
00:11:50,025 --> 00:11:53,188
Sorry, guys, but I don't think
I chipped in for last year's.
259
00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:54,523
Neither did I.
260
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:56,955
Jim was supposed to collect it.
261
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,891
Way to go, man.
262
00:12:00,969 --> 00:12:02,300
Now he's never gonna come.
263
00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:06,136
By a show of hands, who thinks we're
a better couple than Jim and Pam?
264
00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,335
Phyllis!
265
00:12:12,347 --> 00:12:16,306
I thought about getting a tattoo
on my back, as well, at one point.
266
00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:19,446
I was thinking about
getting Back to the Future.
267
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,512
"Back" because it's on my back,
268
00:12:22,057 --> 00:12:26,255
and "Future" because I'm the kind of guy
who likes to look ahead into the future.
269
00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:29,891
I just think a tattoo should
mean something, you know?
270
00:12:30,098 --> 00:12:31,565
And it's my
second-favorite movie.
271
00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:33,066
I've never heard of that movie.
272
00:12:33,134 --> 00:12:36,228
Back to the Future? Oh, wow!
273
00:12:36,705 --> 00:12:39,333
Well, you should take a
film education course.
274
00:12:39,474 --> 00:12:40,668
How old are you?
275
00:12:40,742 --> 00:12:42,573
40... I'm in my 40s.
276
00:12:43,044 --> 00:12:45,774
Wow, that's so cool.
277
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:46,836
Yeah.
278
00:12:47,515 --> 00:12:49,278
Well, I'm gonna go
back to my group now.
279
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:50,545
Oh, okay.
280
00:12:50,752 --> 00:12:51,810
Thanks for the drink.
281
00:12:51,887 --> 00:12:53,252
You are welcome.
282
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,824
This place is like a...
Like a sexy preschool.
283
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,796
Did you want a place where
we can meet older women?
284
00:13:02,864 --> 00:13:05,264
I would love a place where
we can meet older girls.
285
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:06,459
Hell, yeah!
286
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:08,634
I'll hook it up!
287
00:13:09,638 --> 00:13:10,866
Wow, that's dangerous.
288
00:13:19,514 --> 00:13:20,572
Excuse me.
289
00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:21,741
Yeah?
290
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,275
How did you all find each other?
291
00:13:24,753 --> 00:13:28,416
We're the Jersey State varsity basketball
team. Northeast Regional Champs.
292
00:13:31,092 --> 00:13:32,286
Amazons!
293
00:13:33,929 --> 00:13:35,487
It's off. It's not
the dude I know.
294
00:13:35,563 --> 00:13:37,656
It's some other loser who
won't let us in without chicks.
295
00:13:37,732 --> 00:13:39,222
- You're kidding.
- Let's bail.
296
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:42,634
Wait, wait, wait. You two,
Jersey State girls, let's go.
297
00:13:42,704 --> 00:13:44,569
We're not going
unless we can all go.
298
00:13:44,639 --> 00:13:46,106
Okay, you know what? Fine.
299
00:13:46,174 --> 00:13:48,506
Let's go, two girls to a guy.
Come on, let's do it.
300
00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:50,168
Come on, Ryan. Move out!
301
00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:53,476
Hey, three or four with him.
Let's go, come on. Here we go.
302
00:13:53,748 --> 00:13:55,045
Don't step on him.
303
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:57,907
Really?
304
00:13:57,986 --> 00:13:59,817
Hey, look what I
found in the back.
305
00:13:59,888 --> 00:14:01,253
Want to play? I can
teach you to throw.
306
00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:02,483
I know how to throw a football.
307
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:03,683
Of course you do.
308
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,521
Yeah, Pam! Hit me up!
309
00:14:05,593 --> 00:14:06,719
Go long!
310
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:14,829
There you go.
311
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,803
Wait a minute. What is this?
I didn't order this.
312
00:14:16,871 --> 00:14:19,066
It's for you. From them.
313
00:14:24,245 --> 00:14:25,439
What are you doing, man?
314
00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:28,243
It's not safe. Anything
could have been in there.
315
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,712
Nice try!
316
00:14:29,985 --> 00:14:31,885
I've never met
anybody who does that.
317
00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:34,046
You wash dogs. Very cool.
318
00:14:34,122 --> 00:14:36,647
That's one aspect of small pet grooming.
What do you do?
319
00:14:36,725 --> 00:14:38,056
I am a bank teller.
320
00:14:38,626 --> 00:14:41,754
Ryan told me to always tell
women you work in finance.
321
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:43,058
Cool. Yeah.
322
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:44,655
I think so. Yeah, I have fun.
323
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,633
I'm just gonna use
the powder room.
324
00:14:46,701 --> 00:14:48,328
All right. So,
I'll see you soon.
325
00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:49,631
Very perfect.
326
00:14:57,512 --> 00:15:00,379
This needs to be shared.
327
00:15:20,535 --> 00:15:22,264
She washes dogs.
328
00:15:22,337 --> 00:15:23,702
You're doing it, man I know!
329
00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:26,263
I don't want to get
ahead of myself, but...
330
00:15:26,908 --> 00:15:27,897
I think I want her
to meet my mom.
331
00:15:27,976 --> 00:15:29,466
Hey, man,
332
00:15:29,577 --> 00:15:32,637
do you ever think there's gonna
be this massive nuclear holocaust?
333
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,443
And after all the major
nations are destroyed,
334
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:37,383
there'll just be tribes in the
jungles that rise up and survive?
335
00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:39,977
That jungle warfare is
gonna rule the world?
336
00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,082
Yeah, maybe.
337
00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:52,090
It's inevitable, right?
338
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:53,156
Mmm-hmm.
339
00:15:54,602 --> 00:15:56,035
Please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.
340
00:15:56,104 --> 00:15:57,128
Hello.
341
00:15:57,205 --> 00:15:58,229
Hank.
342
00:15:58,306 --> 00:15:59,671
Is that you? Yeah.
343
00:16:00,675 --> 00:16:01,869
Still haven't left
the house yet, huh?
344
00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:03,501
I was getting ready to leave.
345
00:16:03,578 --> 00:16:05,569
Good. Please hurry.
346
00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:08,443
Stop calling me, so I
can put on my damn socks.
347
00:16:08,716 --> 00:16:11,207
Will do. I'll stop calling.
348
00:16:14,055 --> 00:16:15,317
I am.
349
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:17,084
I am getting out there.
350
00:16:17,592 --> 00:16:20,288
Well, no, I've asked a lot
of girls to dance, Mom.
351
00:16:20,361 --> 00:16:22,158
They're just... It's not...
352
00:16:23,031 --> 00:16:24,089
Listen to me for a second.
353
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,768
Yes, I shaved the
back of my neck.
354
00:16:27,836 --> 00:16:29,861
Oh, my God. Mom, I gotta go.
355
00:16:29,938 --> 00:16:31,963
One of my friends is getting
beaten up by some girls!
356
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:36,839
Actually, it's kind of too bad
we're not coming into work tomorrow.
357
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,072
Why?
358
00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:39,341
I bet Michael had some elaborate
359
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,578
theme party planned, like
"Scrambled Egg Saturday."
360
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:46,953
More like, "Hey, everyone, let's
get your boss laid" Saturday.
361
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,997
I have an announcement to make.
362
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:05,306
I am moving to Costa Rica.
363
00:17:05,407 --> 00:17:08,638
I've thought about it
for a long time, now,
364
00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:10,942
and I'm finally gonna do it.
365
00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:13,641
So...
366
00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:16,976
I'm just gonna hop the
fence and jog home, then.
367
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,261
Those girls really
whaled on you bad.
368
00:17:34,336 --> 00:17:35,997
Why wouldn't they let me dance?
369
00:17:36,071 --> 00:17:37,436
Okay, I gotta go.
370
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:39,506
Do not take him to a hospital.
371
00:17:42,011 --> 00:17:43,171
Pretty weird.
372
00:17:43,245 --> 00:17:44,712
Do you have to go with them?
373
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,111
I do, I have to go.
374
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:47,342
Stay. Just stay, please.
375
00:17:47,416 --> 00:17:48,542
Okay, no. I have to go.
376
00:17:48,617 --> 00:17:49,982
Good luck against Conn
College, all right?
377
00:17:50,052 --> 00:17:51,178
Call me.
378
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:52,277
Uh-huh.
379
00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:53,548
I'm not gonna call her.
380
00:17:53,622 --> 00:17:54,611
I don't want to go back in.
381
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:55,782
I know. Here we go.
382
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,528
Cleaning people. Oscar?
383
00:18:05,634 --> 00:18:07,693
Okay, so all you need to do is
explain to them what happened,
384
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:08,862
'cause I think they can help us.
385
00:18:08,938 --> 00:18:11,498
Why are you assuming
they only speak Spanish?
386
00:18:12,274 --> 00:18:13,866
If they speak Spanish.
387
00:18:14,276 --> 00:18:15,538
Good evening.
388
00:18:15,611 --> 00:18:17,238
We locked ourselves in.
389
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,975
They happen to speak Spanish.
390
00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:26,385
Lucky us.
391
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:33,227
This is a one-time thing.
You know that, right?
392
00:18:33,295 --> 00:18:34,956
Wow. All right!
393
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,463
This is it.
394
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,261
This is where the magic happens.
395
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,131
Nice! Very nice.
396
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,864
One of you can have the sofa, and
one of you can have the floor.
397
00:18:42,938 --> 00:18:44,371
- I got the sofa.
- I got sofa.
398
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,566
Dwight, I got the
sofa, I'm the boss.
399
00:18:45,641 --> 00:18:47,006
Come on. I got floor!
400
00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:48,668
In case anybody needs
to go to the bathroom
401
00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,905
in the middle of the night, I don't
want to get my head stepped on.
402
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,346
Do you want me to sing you a
song my mother used to sing me
403
00:18:53,415 --> 00:18:54,905
when we were sick? No.
404
00:18:56,085 --> 00:18:58,747
Okay, Dwight. Dwight.
405
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:02,247
Leave him alone. It's a lullaby.
406
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,586
Ryan? Ryan, we're gonna
take your clothes off.
407
00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:06,785
No!
408
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:10,489
Guys...
409
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,765
I think my friend Troy
might have a drug problem.
410
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,799
What do I do?
411
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,341
I think his species might have
a higher tolerance than ours.
412
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,377
Just stop.
413
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,378
Here's what you do.
414
00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:29,410
You tell him that you're his friend
and that you're going to help him,
415
00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:31,885
and that everything's
gonna be all right.
416
00:19:33,856 --> 00:19:35,790
And then you put a wire on him,
417
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,726
and you find out who's
selling him drugs.
418
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,462
And then you get that
guy and you flip him.
419
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:45,227
You turn him into a snitch.
You follow that guy
420
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:48,094
to the people who're
really, really bad.
421
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:52,270
I've been watching The Wire recently.
I don't understand a word of it.
422
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:53,805
Guys, I'm going to sleep.
423
00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:56,970
You can leave the light on if you
want, but please stop talking, okay?
424
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:58,638
Okay. Good night, Ryan.
425
00:19:59,081 --> 00:20:00,412
Good night, Ryan.
426
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,180
Best night ever.
427
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,012
Like I said,
428
00:20:07,089 --> 00:20:10,217
it's not about the horniness.
It's about the loneliness.
429
00:20:10,492 --> 00:20:12,892
And how can I be
lonely with my boys?
430
00:20:14,229 --> 00:20:16,163
Like a famous person once said,
431
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,164
Boys on the Side.
432
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,192
But I don't... I disagree.
433
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:23,864
I say, Let's Hear
It for the Boys.
434
00:20:39,254 --> 00:20:40,949
Son of a bitch.
32066
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