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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,946
I really didn't think I was gonna
have a good time, but I did.
2
00:00:02,016 --> 00:00:05,884
I totally did. I love camping.
Anything can happen.
3
00:00:05,954 --> 00:00:09,253
Oh, it wasn't camping. It was
more of a wilderness retreat.
4
00:00:09,324 --> 00:00:10,552
Morning. Michael.
5
00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:13,626
Ryan invited some of the branch
managers and Toby into the woods
6
00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:18,155
for a get-to-know-you weekend.
Michael wasn't invited.
7
00:00:19,767 --> 00:00:23,430
Apparently they already knew everything
they needed to know about him.
8
00:00:23,504 --> 00:00:24,664
Did you sleep in cabins?
9
00:00:24,739 --> 00:00:27,867
Under the stars. It
was really beautiful.
10
00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:31,537
You should come. Bob and I took
rock climbing lessons once.
11
00:00:34,949 --> 00:00:37,941
Michael wasn't invited
on Ryan's camping trip.
12
00:00:38,019 --> 00:00:40,112
Toby went, but
Michael didn't go.
13
00:00:40,922 --> 00:00:42,355
He wasn't invited.
14
00:00:42,857 --> 00:00:46,315
Who went? Me, Dan from
Buffalo, Mark Chisholm,
15
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:50,194
Jack from Albany, and Ryan, obviously.
We ate so many s'mores
16
00:00:50,265 --> 00:00:54,634
I finally had to say, "No more s'mores.
No more s'mores."
17
00:00:58,973 --> 00:01:02,704
Ryan invited me to go on his
wilderness adventure retreat.
18
00:01:02,777 --> 00:01:05,439
It was this amazing,
beautiful...
19
00:01:06,214 --> 00:01:08,910
Hey. Nobody cares. Nobody cares.
20
00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:12,883
I need that room at some
point, so just wrap it up.
21
00:01:14,188 --> 00:01:15,815
Michael wasn't invited.
22
00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:41,007
Hypothetically, if I were
to ask you to go camping.
23
00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:44,344
And... Do you know what
"hypothetical" means?
24
00:01:44,419 --> 00:01:45,511
Not real. Got it.
25
00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:49,022
So if I were to hypothetically
ask you to go camping with me,
26
00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:51,418
would you go? Absolutely. Yes.
27
00:01:51,826 --> 00:01:55,159
When Michael plays the hypothetical
game, I always say yes.
28
00:01:55,229 --> 00:01:56,924
Really? Yeah.
29
00:01:56,998 --> 00:01:58,363
Oh, do you want to go today?
30
00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:00,333
And I am always busy.
31
00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:03,666
Oh, I can't go today
because I'm donating blood.
32
00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:06,935
How often can you
actually donate blood?
33
00:02:07,008 --> 00:02:08,373
Is there a limit? I don't...
34
00:02:08,443 --> 00:02:10,502
Your body only has
a certain amount.
35
00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:12,546
Well. Is that it? Or...
36
00:02:12,613 --> 00:02:15,173
Yeah. Just this whole
Toby camping thing.
37
00:02:15,249 --> 00:02:18,480
I don't know, seems a little lame.
I mean... How so?
38
00:02:18,553 --> 00:02:21,579
A bunch of guys in a
tent making s'mores.
39
00:02:24,392 --> 00:02:27,190
What's that? Oh, I'm
on Broken Mountain.
40
00:02:27,261 --> 00:02:29,456
Here's the thing. That's
not how you go camping.
41
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:33,261
I think you go camping by
yourself in the wilderness.
42
00:02:33,334 --> 00:02:38,397
It's not with a group of guys
frolicking around in tents. It's one guy
43
00:02:38,473 --> 00:02:40,805
or two guys, if your plans change.
They're not
44
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:44,140
I want to do it myself.
You know, I want to go
45
00:02:44,212 --> 00:02:46,339
and find out something
about myself.
46
00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:53,013
I want to get out of here. All the cliques
and the office politics, fluorescent lights.
47
00:02:53,087 --> 00:02:54,611
And the asbestos.
48
00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:55,986
I thought we had that looked at.
49
00:02:56,057 --> 00:02:58,457
I'm sick of it, Jim.
I'm sick of this place.
50
00:02:58,726 --> 00:03:03,686
When Jan and I had satellite, we used to
watch a reality show called Survivorman.
51
00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:09,101
And it was interesting because it
was about a guy who would go out
52
00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:13,163
into the middle of nowhere
and just try not to die,
53
00:03:13,241 --> 00:03:15,368
try not to get
eaten by an animal,
54
00:03:15,443 --> 00:03:18,435
or be overexposed.
55
00:03:18,613 --> 00:03:22,845
Okay, I will only need two things,
a roll of duct tape and a knife.
56
00:03:23,451 --> 00:03:25,715
I'm on it. Okay.
Thirty minutes or less.
57
00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:27,311
Please come back.
58
00:03:27,388 --> 00:03:30,721
Save the receipts. Hey, what...
59
00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:34,660
Let's see if any of these will work.
Hey. Hey. Dwight. Dwight...
60
00:03:34,929 --> 00:03:38,262
I keep various weaponry strategically
placed around the office.
61
00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:42,393
I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper
spray I had Velcroed under my desk.
62
00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:48,775
People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep
weapons in the home or the workplace."
63
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:53,879
Well, I say it's better to be hurt
by someone you know, accidentally,
64
00:03:53,948 --> 00:03:56,416
than by a stranger on purpose.
65
00:03:58,553 --> 00:04:03,013
Dwight and I are going out. He
will return later, but I will not.
66
00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:06,787
I will also be taking
a personal day tomorrow
67
00:04:06,861 --> 00:04:08,920
and perhaps the next day.
68
00:04:08,996 --> 00:04:10,395
Do you want me to ask
where you're going?
69
00:04:10,465 --> 00:04:11,625
No.
70
00:04:11,699 --> 00:04:13,257
Great. Dwight will be driving me
71
00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,461
deep into the Pennsylvania
wilderness. Oh.
72
00:04:15,536 --> 00:04:17,527
Where he will then leave me
73
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:22,133
to either die or to survive.
The choice is yours.
74
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:26,203
No. The choice is actually yours.
Are you sure you want to do this?
75
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:31,013
Yes. And I am leaving you in charge
of the office for the rest of the day,
76
00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:33,952
and for the next several days.
Do not try to follow me.
77
00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:37,616
Okay. Great. This is a very
personal, private experience
78
00:04:37,692 --> 00:04:41,560
in the wild that I wish to
share with me, myself and I.
79
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:42,891
Yep.
80
00:04:42,964 --> 00:04:46,525
When I return, I hope to be a
completely changed human being.
81
00:04:46,601 --> 00:04:47,590
That'd be great.
82
00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:50,535
Do I believe that Michael
possesses the skills
83
00:04:50,605 --> 00:04:53,267
to survive in a
hostile environment?
84
00:04:54,442 --> 00:04:57,809
Let's put it this way.
No, I do not.
85
00:05:00,081 --> 00:05:02,072
This is what a true
Survivorman does.
86
00:05:02,149 --> 00:05:05,915
You simulate a disaster,
like a plane wreck.
87
00:05:05,987 --> 00:05:08,148
You can only wear the
clothes that you have on,
88
00:05:08,222 --> 00:05:10,884
and you can only use the stuff
that you have in your pockets.
89
00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:15,486
Now in this case, this
disaster is a serial killer,
90
00:05:15,563 --> 00:05:20,398
creepy guy who's abducted me, and
is taking me out into the wilderness
91
00:05:20,468 --> 00:05:22,629
to leave me for dead. No.
I would never leave you for dead.
92
00:05:22,703 --> 00:05:25,604
You would never escape. Well, yes, I would.
And I would survive.
93
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:27,368
I would make sure that
you were dead. No.
94
00:05:27,441 --> 00:05:29,705
Then I would remove your teeth
and cut off your fingertips
95
00:05:29,777 --> 00:05:31,210
so you could not be identified.
You...
96
00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:32,644
And they would call me
the Overkill Killer.
97
00:05:32,713 --> 00:05:37,810
You are as creepy as a real
serial killer, for real. Okay...
98
00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:41,514
What are you doing? I am putting
this on so I have no familiarity
99
00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:43,284
with my surroundings.
100
00:05:43,357 --> 00:05:45,951
Now this way I can't
retrace my steps.
101
00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:49,724
I don't know what streets we...
Ow! What are you doing?
102
00:05:49,797 --> 00:05:51,662
It would be better if
you were unconscious. No.
103
00:05:51,732 --> 00:05:54,292
Here... God. Dwight, stop it.
Stop it. Stop it.
104
00:05:54,368 --> 00:05:56,165
Do you want to do
this right or not?
105
00:05:56,237 --> 00:06:00,571
Just please allow me to have one
cathartic experience in my life.
106
00:06:02,643 --> 00:06:05,908
Jim, we need to order a
cake for Creed's birthday.
107
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,470
Oh, wasn't it just
someone's birthday?
108
00:06:07,548 --> 00:06:10,312
Yes. Kelly's was
last week, remember?
109
00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:12,944
I do remember, yeah.
It's birthday month.
110
00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:17,923
Creed's is today, Oscar's is week after next,
Meredith's is at the end of the month.
111
00:06:17,992 --> 00:06:19,653
Michael usually goes with
red and white streamers...
112
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:23,686
You know what? I have an idea. Why
don't we just do one big, shared party?
113
00:06:24,298 --> 00:06:25,322
What?
114
00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:29,995
There are 13 people working in
this office, so 13 times a year,
115
00:06:30,071 --> 00:06:32,733
Michael gets a cake and balloons
116
00:06:33,274 --> 00:06:36,607
and some sort of joke
gift and makes a toast.
117
00:06:36,711 --> 00:06:40,579
And there are two types of toasts.
One is a joke about how old you are...
118
00:06:40,648 --> 00:06:44,675
Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack.
Not crack the drug.
119
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:50,281
And the other is something
inappropriate or horrible or both.
120
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:54,157
What else? He only sings the
high harmony to Happy Birthday.
121
00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:59,630
And he is a very big
believer in surprise parties.
122
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:02,294
Maybe even, arguably,
possibly to a fault.
123
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,769
Happy birthday!
124
00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:05,396
Happy birthday!
125
00:07:07,441 --> 00:07:08,965
Happy birthday!
126
00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:14,110
So I think, yeah, I think getting these
out of the way might be productive.
127
00:07:14,181 --> 00:07:15,307
Yeah.
128
00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:19,342
We can just have one big, fun party.
And everybody's happy
129
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:20,580
and nobody wastes their time.
130
00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:22,555
I don't like it.
131
00:07:27,061 --> 00:07:30,155
Wow. You're shaking
things up a bit, huh?
132
00:07:30,231 --> 00:07:31,892
It's a pretty good
idea, don't you think?
133
00:07:31,966 --> 00:07:36,232
Do you think it's a good idea? No.
I think it's a great idea.
134
00:07:37,638 --> 00:07:38,627
Hmm.
135
00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:42,174
We're here.
136
00:07:44,879 --> 00:07:49,907
Dwight will take my blindfold off
when we are deep in the forest.
137
00:07:49,984 --> 00:07:51,918
Just the two of us
from this point out.
138
00:07:51,986 --> 00:07:54,420
Here we go. Just the two of us.
139
00:07:57,625 --> 00:08:00,890
Here we go into the wild,
to the mighty forest.
140
00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,096
Can you smell the
trees and the nature?
141
00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:08,028
Keep going. You're fine.
142
00:08:08,602 --> 00:08:10,763
Just some bushes
and some thickets.
143
00:08:13,407 --> 00:08:14,533
Keep going.
144
00:08:16,343 --> 00:08:18,573
You wanted wilderness.
You got it.
145
00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:20,503
You know, try sending
them another invoice.
146
00:08:20,581 --> 00:08:21,912
Okay. All right.
147
00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:24,782
Oh, did you see my
memo, by the way?
148
00:08:27,521 --> 00:08:29,455
"Let's be honest, as
fun as birthdays are,
149
00:08:29,523 --> 00:08:31,388
"we all can use a break
from the constant cakes.
150
00:08:31,459 --> 00:08:34,451
"So let's celebrate birthday
month in style today."
151
00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,727
This is really cool.
152
00:08:38,466 --> 00:08:40,764
Right? I was just thinking...
153
00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:42,826
No. Totally. Totally.
154
00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:46,498
This way we get it all out of the way
at once and it could actually be fun.
155
00:08:46,574 --> 00:08:49,509
Right. Exactly.
156
00:08:50,678 --> 00:08:52,009
I knew I could count on you.
157
00:08:54,682 --> 00:08:56,547
As good a spot as any.
158
00:09:01,756 --> 00:09:03,690
What are you doing? Stop it.
159
00:09:03,758 --> 00:09:05,658
Dwight, just stop it.
I'm just...
160
00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:09,059
Spin. I'm trying to confuse
your sense of direction.
161
00:09:15,236 --> 00:09:16,669
Behold.
162
00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:18,364
All right, good.
Thank you, Dwight.
163
00:09:18,439 --> 00:09:20,373
Here's your knife. Thank you.
164
00:09:20,441 --> 00:09:22,102
And here's your duct tape. Good.
165
00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:24,371
All right. Very good.
166
00:09:24,445 --> 00:09:27,039
Okay. Yeah.
167
00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:29,949
Good luck, Michael.
Thanks for the ride.
168
00:09:32,419 --> 00:09:33,818
Okay.
169
00:09:35,222 --> 00:09:36,849
Leave me be, Dwight.
170
00:09:39,226 --> 00:09:42,093
Hey, Jim, can I have my own cake?
What's that?
171
00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:43,755
I really prefer
Devil's Food Cake.
172
00:09:43,831 --> 00:09:44,991
Oh, sure.
173
00:09:45,065 --> 00:09:46,225
Yes. Okay.
174
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,392
Awesome.
175
00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:48,826
Wow. That was easy.
176
00:09:48,903 --> 00:09:50,768
Yeah. People like me, I guess.
177
00:09:50,838 --> 00:09:51,930
Jim.
178
00:09:52,773 --> 00:09:54,798
I hate Devil's Food. Well,
I think Meredith was...
179
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,502
Screw Meredith.
I don't think it's fair
180
00:09:56,577 --> 00:09:58,545
to let someone else pick
the cake on my birthday.
181
00:09:58,612 --> 00:10:00,842
Everybody's birthday. Today
is actually my birthday
182
00:10:00,915 --> 00:10:02,883
and I want to pick the cake.
What do you want?
183
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,815
I want pie. I want peach pie.
You want birthday pie?
184
00:10:04,885 --> 00:10:05,874
I want a nice cobbler.
185
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:08,319
I'll talk to Angela and we're going
to see what we can do about a pie.
186
00:10:08,389 --> 00:10:10,118
I don't care who you talk to.
Just make it happen.
187
00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:12,284
It'll be Angela. You
tell her it's for Creed.
188
00:10:12,359 --> 00:10:13,792
She'll know what that means.
189
00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:24,933
Day one. I'm in the interior of
the vast Pennsylvania wilderness.
190
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:28,807
I have brought with me
only the bare essentials,
191
00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:32,175
a knife, a roll of duct tape
192
00:10:32,246 --> 00:10:36,615
in case I need to fashion a shelter
or make some sort of water vessel.
193
00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:43,181
It's hot today. The sun is in
the two-thirds easterly quadrant,
194
00:10:43,257 --> 00:10:48,627
which would make it about
2:00 in the afternoon.
195
00:10:48,696 --> 00:10:50,994
Really beating down on me now.
196
00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:55,729
I think that I want to get
a little more comfortable
197
00:10:56,237 --> 00:11:00,833
because the sun is
depleting my resources.
198
00:11:00,908 --> 00:11:04,071
Okay. There we go.
199
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:08,604
Watch that I don't hit
my carotid artery here.
200
00:11:08,682 --> 00:11:13,278
I lied to Michael. I said that I
would leave him alone, but I will not.
201
00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:17,017
I will remain close by to
provide unseen moral support.
202
00:11:17,091 --> 00:11:18,820
But I will never help him.
203
00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:23,926
I will let harm befall him.
I will even let him die.
204
00:11:23,998 --> 00:11:26,626
But I will never let
him lose his dignity.
205
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,501
There we go. Much better.
206
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:34,507
Now everything I brought
with me can be used.
207
00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:36,941
My sport coat here
208
00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:41,641
can be fashioned into
a backpack of sorts.
209
00:11:41,715 --> 00:11:47,654
I'm going to wear what was
once one of my pant legs.
210
00:11:50,491 --> 00:11:53,324
See, this is a beautiful
piece of material.
211
00:11:53,394 --> 00:11:58,297
This can be used for all sorts
of things, some sort of kerchief
212
00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:02,768
to keep my neck nice
and comfortable.
213
00:12:05,572 --> 00:12:07,563
Jimbo. Andy.
214
00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:11,702
Me likey the ice cream cake, okay?
Fudgie the Whale.
215
00:12:11,779 --> 00:12:14,907
Not your birthday. Well,
I'm just saying, you know,
216
00:12:14,982 --> 00:12:17,007
if you want to make
people happy, namely me,
217
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,881
you will have a
Fudgie the Whale.
218
00:12:18,953 --> 00:12:22,116
All right. I'll look into
it, but the answer's no.
219
00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,848
Well, okay. Harsh.
220
00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,850
Just don't expect me to show up.
221
00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:30,328
Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make.
Loud and clear.
222
00:12:30,397 --> 00:12:31,762
All right.
223
00:12:34,735 --> 00:12:37,568
Pizza rolls. Okay, I'm going
to go into this office here
224
00:12:37,638 --> 00:12:39,230
to do some work so
I will be in here.
225
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:40,398
Mushroom caps.
226
00:12:40,808 --> 00:12:45,268
I am totally alone right
now with only my thoughts.
227
00:12:45,346 --> 00:12:47,906
I love it. I'm loving it.
228
00:12:49,249 --> 00:12:53,913
I can literally say anything I want.
No one is going to hear me.
229
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:58,222
Wish I could have gone with
Ryan on that cool retreat.
230
00:12:59,159 --> 00:13:01,184
Jan has plastic boobs.
231
00:13:02,062 --> 00:13:06,123
I have hemorrhoids.
232
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:10,937
Doesn't even matter.
233
00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:13,940
Michael's a man of
great depth and passion.
234
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:18,534
I don't know what he's
searching for out here.
235
00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:24,710
But I hope he finds it.
236
00:13:27,888 --> 00:13:29,082
Lunch.
237
00:13:29,790 --> 00:13:33,658
Well. It is a little
chillier than I had thought.
238
00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:36,355
So I have fashioned my
hat back into my pants.
239
00:13:37,631 --> 00:13:40,828
Several hours in, it's time for
me to find some nourishment.
240
00:13:40,901 --> 00:13:45,065
Now these woods are full of creatures
that can sustain human life.
241
00:13:45,139 --> 00:13:48,438
Things like squirrels,
242
00:13:48,509 --> 00:13:51,672
a nice, juicy rabbit
would be delicious.
243
00:13:53,647 --> 00:13:55,547
About two more minutes.
244
00:13:57,518 --> 00:14:03,218
I have made this spear with
which I will impale my dinner.
245
00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:07,026
And that couldn't come
a moment too soon,
246
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:10,586
because I have been
without food for a good
247
00:14:11,265 --> 00:14:12,960
three hours or so.
248
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,401
Starting to feel
it a little bit.
249
00:14:21,341 --> 00:14:23,172
It's Creed's birthday today.
250
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:27,907
Happy birthday to you
251
00:14:28,782 --> 00:14:32,912
Happy birthday to you
252
00:14:32,986 --> 00:14:38,515
Happy birthday, dear Creed
253
00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:45,894
Happy birthday to you
254
00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:48,832
Happy birthday, buddy.
255
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:53,833
What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday.
So what if there's a lot of them?
256
00:14:53,907 --> 00:14:59,777
Yeah. I work hard all day. I like
knowing that there's going to be a break.
257
00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:02,475
Most days I just sit
and wait for the break.
258
00:15:02,549 --> 00:15:06,280
I took an extra shot of insulin in
preparation for this cake today.
259
00:15:06,353 --> 00:15:08,878
If I don't have some
cake soon, I might die.
260
00:15:08,956 --> 00:15:10,082
Why don't you just
have an apple?
261
00:15:10,157 --> 00:15:11,590
Why don't you mind
your business?
262
00:15:11,658 --> 00:15:12,955
Listen, I figured this out.
263
00:15:13,026 --> 00:15:16,894
Jimmy had his birthday three
weeks ago so he doesn't care.
264
00:15:16,964 --> 00:15:18,829
- I think the power went to his head.
- Yeah.
265
00:15:18,899 --> 00:15:20,457
Hey, Jim. Hey, guys.
266
00:15:20,534 --> 00:15:24,197
What are we talking about? Nothing.
Nothing going on.
267
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:27,707
We're talking about nothing.
Come on, gang.
268
00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:36,182
Well, if you take a look
at this, I tented my pants.
269
00:15:36,984 --> 00:15:41,080
I've made myself a nice
pants tent shelter.
270
00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:44,688
And this little guy may be
Dunder Mifflin paper some day.
271
00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:53,124
Nothing to worry about.
Just using the scope.
272
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,658
Safety is on.
273
00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:01,663
Hey, Jim.
274
00:16:01,742 --> 00:16:02,834
Toby.
275
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:05,674
Hey, I just got the word
on the communal birthdays.
276
00:16:05,746 --> 00:16:07,737
Oh. Great idea.
277
00:16:09,116 --> 00:16:11,050
Oh, thanks, man. Yeah.
278
00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:16,520
Is there anything I can...
279
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,387
My birthday was two months ago.
280
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,447
Oh, okay.
281
00:16:19,526 --> 00:16:21,187
There was no party.
282
00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:25,493
What? Well, there was but
Michael scheduled it for
283
00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:29,058
4:58 on a Friday. People
sang in the parking lot.
284
00:16:29,136 --> 00:16:30,160
I remember that.
285
00:16:30,237 --> 00:16:31,568
I don't know, I just
thought maybe you
286
00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:34,129
could include me. Seriously?
287
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:37,336
I just thought you could add me in.
I don't know what the harm in that is.
288
00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:41,944
Toby's great. He's great. But
sometimes he can be a little bit much.
289
00:16:42,015 --> 00:16:47,043
"I don't see the harm in that."
Well, it's a cake, Toby, so come on.
290
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,213
Okay, yeah, you know what,
we're just going to throw you in
291
00:16:49,289 --> 00:16:50,415
because the more,
the merrier, right?
292
00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:54,256
No. No way. I am
not a machine, Jim.
293
00:16:54,328 --> 00:16:58,230
You can't just change plans willy-nilly
and expect these little magic party elves
294
00:16:58,298 --> 00:17:00,425
to do your bidding. We
already have Devil's Food,
295
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,628
peach cobbler, Fudgie the
Whale, mushroom caps...
296
00:17:03,704 --> 00:17:05,103
I'm allergic to mushrooms.
297
00:17:05,172 --> 00:17:07,367
That's a bummer. Okay.
298
00:17:07,441 --> 00:17:09,875
Then we need to...
299
00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:12,844
Hey, everybody. Hi, how are you doing?
Could I have your attention, please?
300
00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:15,040
'Cause we have to talk
about this birthday thing.
301
00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:17,345
Conference room? Yes. Conference room.
Five minutes.
302
00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:21,513
No. No. We're going to
solve it right here.
303
00:17:21,588 --> 00:17:23,488
We're going to actually
talk about it out here.
304
00:17:23,557 --> 00:17:26,924
So who has problems
with the birthday thing?
305
00:17:26,994 --> 00:17:30,862
One, two, three, everybody. Okay,
so then we just shouldn't do it.
306
00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:33,422
What am I supposed to do
with two cakes and a pie?
307
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,230
I'll take them. Well,
nobody's touching my cobbler.
308
00:17:36,303 --> 00:17:38,294
Hey, Michael. I mean Jim.
309
00:17:39,773 --> 00:17:42,503
Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael.
310
00:17:43,844 --> 00:17:46,711
And I will always and forever
be haunted by that fact.
311
00:17:47,347 --> 00:17:51,579
Under this tree, I think
I struck the mother lode.
312
00:17:51,652 --> 00:17:56,885
Those are nature's
best mushrooms.
313
00:17:56,957 --> 00:18:01,894
Wild, and I have to say, these little
buggers are damn tasty as well.
314
00:18:01,962 --> 00:18:04,430
Stop. No. No, Michael.
315
00:18:04,498 --> 00:18:08,025
No. No. No.
316
00:18:11,638 --> 00:18:12,969
Get them out.
317
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:20,838
Happy birthday to you
318
00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:25,146
Happy birthday to you
319
00:18:25,218 --> 00:18:30,679
Happy birthday, dear Creed
320
00:18:30,757 --> 00:18:36,218
Happy birthday to you
321
00:18:36,296 --> 00:18:38,696
Yeah. All right.
322
00:18:38,765 --> 00:18:42,531
Skip around the room. Skip
around the room. We won't...
323
00:18:42,602 --> 00:18:46,094
Okay, all right, yikes. Don't do that.
You're going to break something.
324
00:18:46,306 --> 00:18:51,835
Man became civilized for a reason. He
decided that he liked to have warmth
325
00:18:51,912 --> 00:18:54,346
and clothing and television,
326
00:18:54,614 --> 00:18:57,549
and hamburgers, and
to walk upright,
327
00:18:57,617 --> 00:19:01,053
and to have a soft futon
at the end of the day.
328
00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,749
He didn't want to have
to struggle to survive.
329
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:08,121
I don't need the woods.
I have a nice wood desk.
330
00:19:09,296 --> 00:19:11,491
I don't need fresh air
331
00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:14,932
because I have the
freshest air around, AC.
332
00:19:16,436 --> 00:19:18,870
And I don't need
wide open spaces.
333
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,668
Check it out.
334
00:19:24,878 --> 00:19:26,937
I can also make it the sky.
335
00:19:30,717 --> 00:19:32,344
Hi, buddy. Hey.
336
00:19:32,419 --> 00:19:33,511
What's up?
337
00:19:34,087 --> 00:19:36,180
I'm sure glad you're back.
338
00:19:36,356 --> 00:19:37,823
You are relieved.
339
00:19:37,891 --> 00:19:39,290
You have no idea.
340
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,155
So what did I miss?
341
00:19:42,262 --> 00:19:44,594
Well, I tried to put all the
birthdays together at once.
342
00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:46,393
Oh. So, terrible idea.
343
00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:50,493
Yeah. Okay, I did that.
Rookie mistake.
344
00:19:50,570 --> 00:19:54,165
You did do it? Yeah. Just wait.
345
00:19:54,241 --> 00:19:56,573
Ten years, you'll figure it out.
346
00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:59,612
Well, I don't think I'll be
here in ten years, but...
347
00:20:00,714 --> 00:20:02,204
That's what I said.
348
00:20:06,887 --> 00:20:08,411
That's what she said.
349
00:20:11,792 --> 00:20:13,225
That's what who said?
350
00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:14,920
I never know.
351
00:20:15,695 --> 00:20:19,825
But I just say it. I say
stuff like that, you know,
352
00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:23,964
to lighten the tension when
things sort of get hard.
353
00:20:24,037 --> 00:20:25,902
That's what she said.
354
00:20:25,972 --> 00:20:28,566
Hey. Nice.
355
00:20:29,776 --> 00:20:30,936
Really good.
356
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,347
Bravo, my young ward.
28478
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