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1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,340
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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D'oh!
3
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,558
[tires screech]
4
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:17,643
D'oh!
5
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,021
{\an8}-[Bart Whoa!
-[all grunting]
6
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,234
{\an8}[Homer] This guy must be a pinball wizard!
7
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:27,861
{\an8}-[buzzes]
-[Homer] I'm at work. D'oh!
8
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,830
{\an8}Hmm. Something feels different.
9
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,375
{\an8}It's 11:00 a.m. on a weekday.
10
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,419
{\an8}I'm on my 3rd beer, right on schedule.
11
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,464
{\an8}No, wait, Homer's right.
12
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,591
{\an8}Something's, uh, missing.
13
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,844
{\an8}Wasn't there a grade from
the health inspector over there?
14
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,930
{\an8}Nah, it's always been that sign.
15
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,432
{\an8}Next year, I hope they give me a U.
16
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,892
{\an8}I know what's missing.
17
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,395
{\an8}Did a woman named Diane
used to work at this bar,
18
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,273
{\an8}and now she's been
replaced by a woman named Rebecca?
19
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:09,861
{\an8}If a woman named Diane had a lead role in
a bar like this, why would she ever leave?
20
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,405
{\an8}That'd be career suicide.
21
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:15,325
{\an8}No, it's not some smart,
ambitious woman that's missing.
22
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,370
{\an8}In fact,
it's the complete opposite of that.
23
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:19,496
{\an8}-Barney.
-Barney.
24
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{\an8}No Barney? [stutters]
When's the last time he was here?
25
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,793
{\an8}-[rodent squeals]
-Oh. Oh, God.
26
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{\an8}He's been gone at least a week.
27
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{\an8}Hey, guys.
28
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{\an8}Beat it, string bean.
We're trying to figure out
29
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:33,885
{\an8}-what happened to our friend Barney.
-I'm Barney. Ta-da.
30
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,221
{\an8}[scats]
31
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,723
{\an8}And you ain't Barney.
32
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:42,811
{\an8}Barney Gumble is overweight, boozed-up,
can't go two seconds without unleashing a…
33
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{\an8}-[burps]
-[all] Barney!
34
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,067
{\an8}Uh. Wow, buddy.
You really lost some weight.
35
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,695
{\an8}Yeah, I was feeling kind of blah,
36
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,865
{\an8}so I went to the doctor
and he ordered up some tests.
37
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{\an8}Oh, my dear friend. Oh, this ain't good.
38
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No!
39
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Why does God take all the people
that drink themselves to death?
40
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,707
It's not that bad.
41
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:07,461
The tests just showed
that I have hyperglycemia.
42
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,629
So, low blood sugar?
43
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,966
Lenny. He said, "hyper," not "hypo."
44
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,135
Any idiot knows the difference, idiot.
45
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,012
So, Barn, you-you're not dying?
46
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,973
Except in the same slow,
horrible way we all are.
47
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{\an8}Soon enough, my pretties. [chuckles]
48
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:24,728
I'm fine.
49
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,898
They put me on this medicine
that regulates my glucose.
50
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:32,486
{\an8}Othinquic.
The weight loss is just a side effect.
51
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,029
[hums cancan music]
52
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,371
Wow.
A medicine that actually makes you skinny?
53
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:46,083
That's the best side effect
since Viagra was created for…
54
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,918
What was Viagra created for?
55
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,754
I think it was to help comedy writers.
56
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,131
-[Moe] Oh, yeah.
-[Homer] Those are always funny.
57
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:56,301
Hey, let's celebrate.
Uh, refresh my memory.
58
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,428
Beer is your drink, right?
59
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,513
No, thanks.
60
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,933
Another welcome side effect
is I no longer crave alcohol.
61
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,019
One club soda with lime, please.
62
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,146
Don't crave alcohol?
63
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,940
I can't let this secret get out.
64
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,316
What secret?
65
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Wonder weight loss drug.
66
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,738
Hey, Lou. Wanna hear
the big news I'm gonna tell everyone?
67
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,241
Yeah, but, Chief,
the bank robbers are right over there.
68
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,452
And they can stay there
until I tell you this interesting fact.
69
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,079
It all started at Moe's.
70
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,498
You know, the place
next to the, uh, the music store.
71
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,000
You mean the one the bank robbers
are holed up in?
72
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:32,379
If you keep interrupting,
I'm just gonna talk slower.
73
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,881
{\an8}[♪ "Chase" from Midnight Express plays]
74
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[both grunt]
75
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,219
[music stops]
76
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:42,097
Thanks.
I need to give something to my son.
77
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,849
A calming butterscotch?
78
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,309
Never leave me alone.
79
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,311
Now leave me alone. [grunts]
80
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,898
Wow, Chief. That drug really works.
81
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,943
Go ahead, Lou. Put your hand in there.
Hey, that's an order.
82
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,446
-I resign.
-Well, even so, I got you for two weeks.
83
00:03:57,529 --> 00:04:00,407
Now stick it in. Yeah, right there.
That's it.
84
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,076
I mean, it has really changed my life.
85
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,830
Sarah and I are making whoopee again.
We're gonna have more Ralphies soon.
86
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:10,500
A big one, a girl one,
one that even looks more like Eddie.
87
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,378
Must try this drug.
88
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:17,257
Diet and exercise do not work for me,
as I do not do them.
89
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,301
So does it come in gummy or vape?
90
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,929
It's in a convenient needle
that you inject yourself with once a week,
91
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,806
but you need a prescription.
92
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:29,311
To the "doct-arr!" Then the "ph-arr-macy!"
93
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,022
♪ Well, you can tell by the wayI use my walk ♪
94
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,816
{\an8}♪ I'm a woman's man, no time to talk ♪
95
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,735
♪ Music loud and women warm ♪
96
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,112
♪ I've been kicked aroundsince I was born ♪
97
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,490
{\an8}♪ And now it's alright, that's okay… ♪
98
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,075
I really don't think
you need to lose weight, sir.
99
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:47,496
My target weight is to fit inside
a mailing tube by Christmas.
100
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,663
Jab me.
101
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,337
[Burns] Excellent.
102
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,798
For the first time
since the invention of the McNugget,
103
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America's waistbands are shrinking
104
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because, with this epidemic,
people actually wanna get their shots.
105
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,722
But is this new drug safe?
106
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,724
Our answer: Yes, of course.
107
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:08,809
What are you, crazy?
108
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Won't surprise you
after this word from our sponsor.
109
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[melancholy piano music plays]
110
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[announcer]
Do you suffer from blood sugar issues?
111
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,943
Or are you just not bathing suit-ready
112
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:20,445
and willing to claimyou have blood sugar issues?
113
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:23,949
{\an8}The new Danish drug Othinquicmight be for you.
114
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,535
♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
115
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,371
{\an8}I'm a mirakelmedicin.
116
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,624
♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
117
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:36,127
{\an8}We're going to be best friends forever,
118
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,047
{\an8}which is how long you have to take me.
119
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,258
[announcer] Side effects includelack of appetite, pancreatitis,
120
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,342
having to buy new pants,
121
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a brutally painful death and notbeing able to play Santa at Christmas.
122
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,555
-Othinquic.-♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
123
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:51,560
Okay, I have to address the elephant
in the room, by which I mean Homer.
124
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,728
How come you're not on that stuff, dumbo?
125
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,524
Because it makes you stop eating,
and eating is natural.
126
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,401
Body positivity.
127
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,320
Yes, I'm positive you look
like a talking beach ball.
128
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,613
Listen, boy.
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00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,741
I would only go on medication
if a doctor told me to,
130
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,827
and I don't see doctors.
131
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,912
Always telling me to do stuff.
132
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:14,040
Hey, at least I'll never lose you
in a crowd. [laughs]
133
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,293
Bart, enough with the fat-shaming.
134
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:20,171
I love Dad however he looks,
and Mom does too. Right, Mom?
135
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,507
Um…
136
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,301
Right, Marge?
137
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,345
Hmm. Uh…
138
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,764
Well, I support you, Dad.
139
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,809
I'm proud of you
for not giving in to Big Pharma.
140
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:37,939
The only thing I'm giving in to
is Big Parma at Luigi's.
141
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,858
-Whoo-hoo! All right.
-Yay, Dad!
142
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,359
[Homer chuckles]
143
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,612
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
144
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,950
Mama, we got a reservation.
145
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:52,787
I can't cook. I gotta the SoulCycle.
146
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,331
-[Homer] Whoo-hoo!
-[engine starts]
147
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,458
What's wrong, Marge?
148
00:06:56,541 --> 00:07:00,170
Upset that you're going to bethe only woman in town
149
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,213
stuck with an overweight hubby?
150
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,967
What? No, of course not. Am I?
151
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,140
{\an8}-Ow!
-You love Homer. I get it.
152
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:14,809
{\an8}But obesity is a major health risk.
153
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,062
{\an8}I should know. I'm in medicine.
154
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,564
Actually, you are medicine.
155
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,024
{\an8}Good one. Yeah.
156
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,401
{\an8}So maybe you do want him to change.
157
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,904
{\an8}Wouldn't he be hotter
if he looked like this?
158
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:27,656
Oh!
159
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,449
{\an8}Something for both of you.
160
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:33,453
{\an8}A six-pack and a washboard. [laughs]
161
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,831
{\an8}Or you could just let things go
as they are and…
162
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,958
[dramatic music plays]
163
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,586
[gasps]
164
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:43,004
Yeah.
165
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,300
[screams]
166
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,178
Homer. Homer, wake up. I need you.
167
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,471
For snuggling?
168
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,181
Talking, talking.
169
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,517
Oh. That's just as good.
170
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,019
Totally. Please, continue.
171
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:03,692
I've been thinking, maybe you should try
to get down to fun size again.
172
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,944
But I thought you loved me for who I am.
173
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:10,532
I do. But I want you to see Lisa
graduate from college
174
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,702
and see Bart get a good deal
on a used car.
175
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,204
Please take the medicine.
176
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,997
Okay, okay. I'll do it.
177
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,791
Oh, thank you, thank you.
178
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,585
Now it's snuggling time.
179
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,672
{\an8}-[both moaning]
-[groans, retches]
180
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,049
{\an8}I hate having eyes that can't blink.
181
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,054
{\an8}Oh, I tried everything to lose weight.
182
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,891
{\an8}I hired personal chefs,
consulted the best doctors,
183
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,060
as well as Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz.
184
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,938
I even bought a weight loss company.
185
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,982
You know, normal people stuff,
186
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:49,070
but nothing worked
until I got on Othinquic.
187
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,032
-And now check this out.
-[crowd cheering]
188
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:57,037
I'm as thin as I was on the night
my boyfriend Steadfast proposed,
189
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,164
but this is permanent,
190
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,915
unless the drug stops working,
191
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,959
which you better hope it doesn't
192
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,171
because you're all going on it.
193
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,672
Look under your seats.
194
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,216
[crowd cheers]
195
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:15,472
You get a waistline. You get a waistline.
196
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,225
Oh, I am so generous that it
doesn't matter that I'm not humble.
197
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:22,312
And remember, only read books I like.
198
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,481
That drug is a miracle.
199
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,399
So when did you two go on it?
200
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,359
Uh, we didn't.
201
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:31,654
We lost this weight by exercise
and eating in moderation.
202
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,156
Right. Moderation.
203
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,908
Also, we quit smoking.
204
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,868
That helps people lose weight, right?
205
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,870
No. Actually…
206
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,414
Besides, our fiancés love it.
207
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,749
[both groaning]
208
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,460
Fiancés? You're getting married?
209
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,295
Yep. To people from work.
210
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,172
Never interested in them before.
211
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,466
Because they were chubbos.
212
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,259
And how did they lose weight?
213
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,095
Eating in moderation.
214
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:59,516
Well, even if they did take that drug,
I don't think they need to be ashamed.
215
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,685
Homer's seeing the doctor
about getting on it right now.
216
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:07,524
Homer? Huh. They better find a needle
strong enough to get through hippo hide.
217
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,360
I'm sorry you don't have a husband
with the willpower
218
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,113
to lose weight naturally like us.
219
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:17,617
Yeah. By the way, Marge,
can we each borrow $900 a month?
220
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,912
It's for, um… [stutters] …vegetables.
221
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,205
And yoga pants.
222
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:27,377
If we miss one dose of yoga pants,
we balloon right back up.
223
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,461
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
224
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,008
$900 a month? Why is it so expensive?
225
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,262
Health insurance stopped covering it,
and the pharmacies are out of stock.
226
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,764
The first priority are the people
who need it the most.
227
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,474
The people who are actually sick?
228
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,768
No. A-list Hollywood stars.
229
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,063
It's the most difficult time of the year:
award season.
230
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,565
Where did you get yours?
231
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,066
Oh, I'm not on it.
232
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,943
I-I lost this weight naturally.
233
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:55,405
[stutters] As a doctor,
I know the value of diet and exercise.
234
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,658
You've been a doctor for 20 years.
Why didn't you lose weight before?
235
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,827
[laughs] Get out.
236
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,496
[melancholic music plays]
237
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,840
Do you have Othinquic?
238
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,551
No. Just Sudafed, NyQuil,
239
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,637
and one of the hardest things of all
to get out of a drugstore:
240
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,432
razor blades. [laughs]
241
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,850
[sighs]
242
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:29,105
I've, uh, heard you're looking
for a certain weight loss vaccine.
243
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,357
-You got cash?
-Does anyone anymore?
244
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,443
Not to worry, we take the Venmo.
245
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,820
And occasionally the Zelle.
246
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,280
But never the Cash App.
247
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,033
They offer the Bitcoin,
but not the Ethereum.
248
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,327
How am I supposed
to arbitrage between the two?
249
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,620
Forget about it.
250
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,787
Mmm.
251
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,124
[foreboding music plays]
252
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,209
{\an8}Here you go.
253
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,419
{\an8}Pure uncut Othinquic.
254
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,631
{\an8}Guaranteed to reduce the labonza.
255
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,800
{\an8}It's the anti-antipasto.
256
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,385
{\an8}Where did you get this?
257
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,678
{\an8}Let's just say
258
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,139
{\an8}a truck lost a little weight
259
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,475
{\an8}passing through Springfield.
260
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,978
{\an8}Wait a minute. I thought you don't
get high on your own supply.
261
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,940
{\an8}I personally lost this weight
262
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,484
{\an8}through diet and exercise.
263
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,361
Even you lie about it?
264
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,155
If you can't trust godfathers,
who can you trust?
265
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,074
I don't cheat on diets.
266
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,868
I would never cheat on anything.
267
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,536
Except my wife.
268
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:32,085
♪ Weight loss drug ♪
269
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:36,589
♪ Drop a size without exercise ♪
270
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:40,093
♪ When I put a spike into my leg ♪
271
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:43,388
♪ I get full from just one egg ♪
272
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:47,225
♪ Eating hot dogs with no bun ♪
273
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:51,437
♪ Half a sandwich and I'm done ♪
274
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,693
♪ And I eat, but I just don't gorge ♪
275
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:01,406
{\an8}♪ I can see my feet'Cause I just don't gorge ♪
276
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,532
Hmm.
277
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,909
What happened to these people?
278
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,578
They look fabulous, right?
279
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,955
They look sad.
280
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:12,333
Maybe it's all that loose skin
sagging from their faces.
281
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:16,629
Hey, getting Othinquic face
is one of the few negative effects,
282
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,924
and you can always fix that
with injections of body fat.
283
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,343
Trust me, I'm a wonder drug.
284
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,846
The more I see, the more I wonder.
285
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,222
{\an8}Okay, boomer.
286
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:30,018
{\an8}Look, weight loss is healthy,
no matter how.
287
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,770
{\an8}We've done a lot of research.
288
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,022
On safety?
289
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,359
{\an8}On profits. The profits are 100% safe,
290
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,778
{\an8}and we'll find out the dangers
sooner or later.
291
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,031
After everyone's already on it?
292
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,658
Including my husband.
293
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,372
{\an8}Exactly. The most enormous beta test
of all time,
294
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:54,042
{\an8}and you lab rats
are paying us to be in it.
295
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:57,795
{\an8}Patetiske tåber, which means "suckers."
296
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,548
{\an8}Homer!
297
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,470
Dad, are you sure you want to do this?
298
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:09,223
As sure as I was
that I didn't want to do it yesterday.
299
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,393
In that case, I support you,
but just barely.
300
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,562
That's what Dad's chair says.
301
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:18,316
Oh, man. I'm gonna miss making fat jokes.
302
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,318
You'll still have bald jokes.
303
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,236
It's not the same.
304
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,781
Goodbye, my love handles.
305
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,700
You'll be in heaven
with my back fat, my triple chin,
306
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,203
and my… [sobs] …finger chub.
307
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,873
-Stop! Homer, stop!
-Huh?
308
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,374
No. No, no, no.
309
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,628
You're throwing it out?
But you wanted me to take it.
310
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,422
I was wrong.
I know it's the hot new trend,
311
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:45,259
but so were fanny packs, tramp stamps,
and Teslas.
312
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,469
Mmm.
313
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,388
I usually cover this with my fanny pack.
314
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,933
But I thought you were worried
about us growing old together.
315
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,893
Of course I want that.
316
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:57,730
But what's even more important
is that you're here with us right now,
317
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,024
and we can move on safely.
318
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,485
Hey, what are you doing?
319
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,988
Homer,
as the only overweight man left in town,
320
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,908
you have something
that we desperately need.
321
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,369
You're kidnapping my husband?
322
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:15,998
Think of it as a side effect
of not taking weight loss drugs.
323
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,458
Andiamo.
324
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,418
[Homer] No, no, no, no.
325
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,629
He's too fat to fit in the car.
326
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,047
Put him in the trunk.
327
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,800
He's too fat to fit in the trunk.
328
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,718
Lash him to the roof.
329
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,846
We're gonna need more rope.
330
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:34,225
[screams, mutters in Italian]
331
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,230
[Homer mumbles]
332
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,648
Ooh! Pork chops.
333
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,024
[screams] Fat Tony.
334
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,568
Ooh! Pork chops.
335
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,362
{\an8}We need your fat to fill in our faces
336
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,574
{\an8}so we can look eternally young
like the Real Housewives,
337
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:53,744
{\an8}who don't look real and spend
all their time outside of the house.
338
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830
Now eat. Mangia.
339
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,791
What you said
makes me almost not want to eat.
340
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,170
-The police are gonna be furious.
-Actually, uh, no, we're not.
341
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,504
Come on, swallow.
342
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,590
Can't wait to get your ass in my face.
343
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,550
{\an8}[muffled] You monster! [gulps]
344
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,594
{\an8}Wait till the Mayor hears about this!
345
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,012
Oh, believe me, I know.
346
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,181
Slim Tony and I are in cahoots.
347
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,850
The Mayor in league with the mob?
348
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,852
{\an8}I'm happy to reach across the aisle
349
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,896
{\an8}as long as it's not with the members
350
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,564
{\an8}of another political party.
351
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,815
{\an8}[tires screech]
352
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,859
{\an8}[Marge] Give me back my husband!
353
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,320
[crowd screams]
354
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,071
[Patty] Look who's here.
355
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:32,450
Little Miss
"thin without having to take drugs."
356
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,076
{\an8}Which none of us take.
357
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,998
{\an8}You're just jealous because
we're more beautiful than you.
358
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,249
[Patty grunting]
359
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,169
Now, out of the way.
360
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:46,923
Because, for the first time ever,
we want your husband.
361
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,342
Well, I'm taking my husband back.
362
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,427
You and what army?
363
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,095
[Luigi] This-a army.
364
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,639
[tires screech]
365
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:59,185
We are the true victims of Ozempic…
I mean, uh, uh, Othinquic.
366
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,104
The hard-working-a people
who make-a your food.
367
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,773
And who pour your damn drinks.
368
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,651
You think you could operate
a beer tap by yourself?
369
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:07,902
Yes, you could.
370
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,363
So, uh… Where am I going with this?
371
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,990
These-a drugs
don't-a just stop your eating.
372
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,868
They stop-a all your compulsive behavior.
373
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:20,206
And compulsive behavior is-a
the only reason anybody eats-a spaghetti.
374
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,959
It's like-a worms with less-a nutrients.
375
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,335
Hypocrito.
376
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:28,631
Criticizing us when you're
clearly riding the O-Train yourself.
377
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,800
I am not-a taking the drugs.
378
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,009
Yeah, we know.
379
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,554
"Diet and exercise."
380
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:39,183
No. I lost-a weight legitimately
from a severe depression.
381
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,477
You, you are ruining my life.
382
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,145
[both shouting in Italian]
383
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:52,238
-Homer, they took your tuchus.
-[screams]
384
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,823
You can't leave me like this.
385
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,866
I'm like the Batman villain Two Face:
386
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,452
beautiful on one side
and hideous on the other.
387
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,664
Uh, which is the beautiful side again?
388
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,084
Here's a thought:
Maybe you can all stop taking the drug.
389
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:09,171
If I knew the meaning of the word "stop,"
I would not be taking it. Der!
390
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,590
Look at your faces.
391
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,886
Let me try.
I've had more experience addressing mobs.
392
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,851
I am the last fat man in Springfield,
393
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:25,855
and while I can't see my feet,
I can see something else.
394
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,774
You are all unhappy.
395
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,444
Love people for what's inside.
396
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,280
Lots of delicious food.
397
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,033
And admire the ingenuity
of the American chemist
398
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,535
who has designed potato chips
that make you hungrier,
399
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,370
sodas that make you thirstier,
400
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,832
all-you-can-eat restaurants
that make you never feel full again.
401
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:48,586
We sit eating food, watching TV about food
402
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,756
with commercials for more food!
403
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:55,134
[all] Food-S-A! Food-S-A!
404
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:59,180
Goldarn it. Replace the word "America"
with the word "Texas,"
405
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,557
and I agree with everything you said.
406
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,434
[crowd cheering]
407
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,144
I'm getting off this stuff.
408
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:09,857
And back on statins, antidepressants,
mood elevators, and useless vitamins.
409
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,275
[gulping]
410
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,944
Is my old table available?
411
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:18,240
Yes, yes. And the gun
is still-a behind the toilet for you.
412
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,909
Fratello mio. Ooh-ee!
413
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,619
Is a happy end.
414
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,165
[gulps]
415
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,960
Patty and Selma gained back the weight
and lost the fiancés.
416
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:33,297
{\an8}They're doing a group
sologamy celebration instead.
417
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,716
{\an8}Salami celebration? What's that?
418
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,344
{\an8}It's when a person marries themselves,
419
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,596
{\an8}but there'll be two of them
doing it together,
420
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,223
{\an8}but not to be together
421
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,891
{\an8}even though they live together.
422
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,267
Good night, sweetheart.
423
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,443
So what are you going to wear?
424
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,113
{\an8}That strapless black dress, right?
425
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,532
{\an8}Oh, it's from before I had kids.
426
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,200
{\an8}I doubt it still fits.
427
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,036
{\an8}The ceremony is still a month away,
428
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,289
{\an8}and I'm exactly a month's supply.
429
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,083
{\an8}After everything I've seen,
430
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,876
{\an8}why should I trust you?
431
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,963
{\an8}It's just a month. One and done.
432
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,383
{\an8}Hmm. I would love to wear that dress.
433
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,595
Whoa. [groans]
434
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,514
I feel a little nauseous.
435
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,727
[Marge] Why is everything black?
Did I lose my vision?
436
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,730
[syringe] Blindness is a side effect,
but that's only 3% of cases.
437
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,983
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic! ♪
438
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,568
[Othinquic theme plays]
439
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:47,455
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
440
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,707
{\an8}♪ You know ♪
441
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,834
{\an8}♪ You might lose your big toe ♪
442
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:55,421
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
443
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:59,842
{\an8}♪ Beware you might lose all your hair ♪
444
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:03,220
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
445
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:08,142
{\an8}♪ You cough, then your kidneys fall off ♪
446
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,437
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
447
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,814
{\an8}♪ You'll die ♪
448
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,150
{\an8}♪ But you'll be thin so don't cry ♪
449
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:19,236
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh, Othinquic ♪
450
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,989
{\an8}♪ You know ♪
451
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:24,992
{\an8}♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! ♪
452
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,076
Shh!
34904
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