Original subtitles

Major!

You're exposed!

Get the men back to their original positions.

We'll try it again.

Major, we've executed the maneuver 27 times since noon.

The men are tired.

They missed their objective by 17 seconds.

They'll do it till they do it right.

Yes, sir.

I've spent the afternoon watching the performance of your men.

I can't say that I'm pleased.

The new order of things in this army is to make the men happy, listen patiently to

their gripes, and see that they get plenty of nourishing vitamins.

While I'm not buying the new order of things, this army is overfed and undertrained.

I've spent 15 years in the army.

I've spent 15 years in the army, all the way from buck to private on up.

And I know what I'm talking about.

Beg pardon, Major.

I'm Captain Duffield.

I have orders here... Just a minute, Captain.

I'm not through yet.

Yes, sir.

We've got to work these troops till their tails drag,

then kick them back into shape and work them some more.

We've got to turn these milkshake-drinking schoolboys into whiskey-drinking soldiers.

You've got a good memory, Lieutenant.

Well, sir, I've heard that speech before.

Yes, huh?

Yes, sir.

The day those reporters were here.

Memorized it word for word.

You're a smart boy.

Well, I read it again this morning, sir, in Newsweek magazine.

Didn't you see the article?

You mean they printed what I said?

Yes, sir.

Your picture, too.

Beg pardon, Major, but this is important.

Orders from the Adjutant General for you to report to Washington.

General Ramsey.

I've been ordered to relieve you, sir.

Does that mean you'll be leaving for Washington right away, sir?

Yeah.

Take over, Captain.

Yes, sir.

But keep them on that maneuver till they get it right, if it takes all year.

Yes, Mr. Secretary, I've got it right here.

Well, General Ramsey's taking care of it.

He's ordered Benson in from Fort Elliott.

Don't worry, sir.

I'll see that he does.

Right.

How bad is it?

Either Benson resigns or you dump him out of the regular army on inactive duty.

That's pretty drastic, isn't it?

You bet your life it's drastic.

Who does he think he is?

American army, overfed and undertrained.

Gotta turn these milkshake-drinking schoolboys into whiskey-drinking soldiers.

All right, he shot his mouth off, but his record ought to be worth something.

Benson was one of my best company commanders during the war.

He's worth salvaging if only we... Forget it, Ramsey.

This time he's tough-talked his way right out of the service.

Good morning.

I'm Major Benson.

Yes, I know.

Yes, we know.

Oh, you bought a copy of the...

We bought quite a few copies.

Have there been any comments about the article?

Yes, there have.

I still think he's hopeless.

He's your responsibility.

I know, I know.

I'm sticking my neck out.

I want to be sure you do.

If Benson bounces back again, he bounces back on you.

Can't you keep your mouth shut?

Come in.

How about that?

Now there's a man who's got it.

He's going to need it.

Inactive duty?

That's what the man said.

I might as well resign, sir.

My career'd be finished.

I think they have something like that in mind.

But Jim, all I did... I know what you did.

And don't you give me that Jim business.

You and I stopped being buddies when you started thinking with your mouth...

instead of your brains.

When are you going to learn that men in uniform are human beings?

Yeah, human beings.

Nice, live ones.

And it's my job to teach them enough to stay that way.

So I make it tough for them.

I can't begin to make it as tough as it'll be in combat.

Sure, they bellyache.

Why not?

They're a bunch of kids, mostly.

All of a sudden, they've got to grow up hard and fast.

When I beat their tails...

I'm terribly sorry, General.

Well, we can fix it.

Put it... I can replace it.

This can't be replaced.

Now, you listen to me.

I'm very glad to know that you're such an authority...

such an expert on the younger generation...

because I'm going to stick my neck out...

and give you one last chance to stay in the active army.

I've lined you up a nice ROTC assignment.

ROTC?

I thought I told you to listen!

The ROTC just happens to be the backbone of the reserve.

There's a military school in there, Santa Barbara...

that's been having a little trouble with their army rating.

They've been given a year's probation to get their cadet corps in shape.

That's going to be your job.

And you do it.

Do it well, Benson.

See that they keep that rating.

If you do, I'll have you return to the regular troops at the end of the year.

But if you foul up on this one, Benson...

your career will be out of my hands...

and you will be out of the army.

Now, think it over.

When do you want my decision, sir?

In one minute.

One minute?

Fifty-five seconds!

Good evening.

You the new soldier?

Yeah, I'm Major Benson.

Anything wrong?

Nope.

You got a lot of ribbons there.

What do they all stand for?

Good conduct.

Isn't anybody up?

I didn't expect bands playing...

but maybe a small hello from somebody.

Hello.

Good evening.

Good evening.

This is Dr. Lambert.

This here is Major Benson.

Yes, I've seen the Major's picture and some of his publicity.

John, I moved Warren and Dodson into the infirmary.

They both have temperatures.

You're a real doctor, an MD.

Yes.

I just thought you're a little young.

I'm quite capable of doing my job.

I hope to be able to say the same about you, Major.

I wouldn't worry about it.

I was sent here because the army feels it's

important for this school to keep its ROTC rating.

After all, the ROTC is the backbone's reserve.

The reserve's backbone.

I see.

Major Benson, I got the impression from Newsweek magazine...

that when you have something to say, you say it.

That's right.

So do I.

Evidently, you've been sent here to put some starch into our backbone.

Well, that's all very well.

But you should know that our cadets are strongly addicted to milk, not whiskey.

Good night.

Good night.

Your room is upstairs.

Nippy little thing, ain't she?

Yeah.

Yeah, beautiful.

The others give up thinking you were coming today.

They're all in chapel.

This a religious school?

Yep.

He looks familiar.

Head of the school, huh?

Nope.

That's Pope Pius XI.

Oh, of course.

The light's not so good in here.

Nice looking girl, doctor.

You already said that.

I suppose we'll be seeing a good deal of each other around here.

She's a lot of the last commandant.

That right?

Poor old fella had terrible back pains.

One before him had rheumatism.

Anything wrong with you?

How about a cup of coffee?

No, thanks.

This Dr. Lambert, she married or anything?

Nope.

How about a cup of tea?

No, thanks.

Lives right here at the school, I suppose.

Yep.

How about a glass of milk?

No, no, I don't need a thing.

Yes, you do.

No towels in the bathroom.

I'll bring them.

Fine.

You do that.

How do you do, Major Benson?

I'm Mother Redemptor.

How do you do?

I hope I haven't disturbed you.

Oh, no, no.

Are you comfortable?

No, no, no.

Yes, very, very comfortable.

I thought you might like to look this over.

Thanks.

Here's your towel.

Major, we're very grateful to the Army and General Ramsey for sending you here.

It means a great deal to us.

Well, it was nice of you to drop in.

You see, we didn't pass our OTC inspection last year.

The Army put us on probation.

I know.

Don't worry about a thing.

I try not to, but I do worry.

If we lost our rating, I'm afraid many of our students would leave.

So you see how important it is to us.

But then I'm sure it's just as important to you too.

It is.

It certainly is.

Goodbye, Major Benson.

Goodbye, ma'am.

Oh, that's Sister Angelina.

She was our first Mother Superior.

A wonderful person.

Perhaps her picture will inspire you.

I'm sure it will.

Thank you, General Ramsey.

Sheridan Military Academy was founded by the Order of St. Joseph in the year of 1907.

In keeping with the sacred vows of this religious order.

Mother Redemptor sent this up.

We don't have any soda water.

Thanks.

Mother Redemptor...

I don't aim to make trouble for the Major, but you know that piece in the magazine?

What piece in the magazine?

Where he said soldiers should learn to drink whiskey.

Well, he sure practices what he preaches.

I'm sure there's nothing unusual about a soldier taking a drink.

Well, he must have taken an awful big one.

Found it under the Major's window.

Empty?

Empty.

Oh, my.

Good morning.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Good morning.

Good morning, Major.

How do you feel?

Fine, thank you.

Really?

I'm sorry you had to be called so early.

Well, I started every day this way for 15 years.

There's no reason to change now.

Yes.

Well, we'd planned a little military ceremony to welcome you, if you feel up to it.

I think I can manage.

Good.

That door will take you out to the drill field.

Oh, fine.

I've looked forward to meeting the man.

Hey!

You!

Yeah, come here.

I...

I... These the...

Well, the what, sir?

Well...

Where are the older men?

I'm one of the older men, sir.

Will there be anything else, sir?

No, I guess that about does it.

Hi!

Excuse me.

I mean, hi, sir.

Hi.

You Major Benson?

Yeah, I'm the major.

I'm the private.

The private?

You mean you're the only one?

Don't want me to be anything else.

Would you mind falling in?

Sure.

I'd have been here on time, only cut my finger.

And I had to go see the doctor.

There she is!

It was a pretty bad cut.

I had to get a bandage.

I didn't want to get blood all over everything.

All right, join your unit.

When I see a lot of blood, it makes me sick to my stomach.

Does it make you sick?

No, go join your unit.

Okay.

I mean, okay, sir.

All present or accounted for, sir?

Carry on, Captain.

I'm a colonel, sir.

All right, colonel.

Pass and review!

Squad, right?

Squad, right!

Halt!

The major doesn't look very happy, does he?

I think he'll feel better after he's had some coffee.

Tiger Flaherty.

He has trouble keeping staff.

Has trouble keeping his trousers, too.

Plattsburgh Drill System, huh?

Yes, sir.

Army hasn't used it in 15 years.

Cheaper, sir, no kidding.

No kidding.

Now you've met all of us.

If I'm not here, Sister Mary Therese is my good right arm.

Yes.

Now I want to show you around the school.

Well, nice to have met you, ladies.

Ladies?

This is Father Lebeth, the founder of our order.

He was canonized in 1853.

Too bad.

This way, Major.

You know, Major, we're very proud of our scholastic record here.

Even though we didn't pass our OTC inspection.

And our athletic record leaves something to be desired.

But in every way, of course, we try to stress moral values.

Of course.

There's just one thing.

Yes?

I'm not the right man for this job.

That's not what General Ramsey said.

General Ramsey didn't bother to tell me much about this school.

I thought the boys would be older.

You'll find the younger ones need you even more than the others.

Away from home like this, they miss a kind of fatherly guidance.

Fatherly?

It will be a soul-shaping experience, Major.

Being father to 300 boys.

Oh, now, look, Mother Redempta.

I'll admit I'm married to the army.

But I never expected it to go this far.

Mother Redempta, can you come to the telephone?

It's the Archbishop.

I'll be right there.

We all know what we want, Major.

But often, others decide what's best for us.

Heaven has strange ways of shaping our destinies.

Or should I say, heaven and General Ramsey.

Lose an argument?

Oh, temporarily.

She won a kind of moral victory.

Uh-huh.

She always does.

Pretty busy place.

You ever get out of it for an evening?

Oh, I managed to pass the time.

Doing what?

Reading, studying.

Sounds exciting.

You wanted to be an army officer.

I want to be a specialist in pediatrics.

Have you got anything against army officers?

Nope.

You got anything against pediatricians?

No.

Okay.

Can I ask a question?

Certainly.

What are you sore about?

Sore isn't exactly the word.

I disapprove of your training tactics.

This isn't the place for them.

You're right.

What?

You're absolutely right.

A bunch of kids away from home like this.

What they need is a sort of fatherly guidance.

Well, I'm glad to hear you say that.

I don't think I'm not aware of my main job here.

I look in this assignment.

Being a father to 300 boys is a soul-shaping experience.

If there's anything I can do to help, major, I... Barney.

Barney.

Matter of fact, I had some questions I wanted to ask.

I thought maybe we could have dinner together.

The hotel in town has an orchestra.

We could dance, maybe take in a movie or... What is it, tiger?

Can I go to the movies with you?

You'll have to ask the major here.

Never mind.

I lost my bandage.

I need another one.

I don't want to start bleeding again.

Well, I should say not.

We'll fix it up for you right away.

Let's see your finger.

Where's the cut?

Right there.

It was all bloody, but I washed it off before I came to see Lanny.

Lanny?

Well, that's what they call me.

Lanny, short for Lambert.

There we are.

I'm glad you came to see me.

You are?

So am I.

I guess I better be going now.

Bye.

Goodbye.

And what's all that about?

He needs a bandage like I need an iron lung.

He just wants a little attention.

So he pretends to be bleeding to death.

You let him get away with it.

Oh, Barney, he's six years old.

His father's dead and his mother has to work.

That's why he's here.

You won't do him any good by babying him.

All you'll do is make a first-class gold brick out of him.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Nick, this is your idea of being a father.

Oh, now look, Lambie.

Don't tell me anything about gold-bricking.

I spent 15 years in the army.

This isn't the army, Major.

Not yet.

Well, it's a military school, and as long as I'm

commandant, I won't stand for any gold-bricking.

You can take any stand you want to in your own department.

But this is my department, and I'm running it.

Can I bandage it for you?

Oh, thanks very much.

Well, no trouble at all.

Drop in any time.

Does everybody in this school have two left feet?

Sir, it's hot for the fellas to learn a whole new system.

We only drill an hour a day, sir.

You want to keep your ROTC rating?

Yes, sir.

Then they'll learn the new system.

I don't care if it takes two hours a day or three.

They'll do it till they do it right.

Lieutenant!

You see, he thinks he's still in Korea or someplace.

I'm sure he's doing his best, my dear.

Mother Redemptor, how could you let the army sense at your man?

Perhaps you should know something of the major's background.

That wouldn't help.

I think it would, doctor.

During the war, Major Benson was promoted from the ranks.

There were no officers left in his company, very few men.

He's never forgotten that.

And twice, Dr. Lambert, he was decorated for rescuing men under fire.

Do you really think such an officer is incapable of understanding or of humility?

Hey, work.

Flaherty, can't you keep in step?

I'm going to my office.

When drill's over, bring the demerit list.

Yes, sir.

You, Maloney!

Detail, hold.

What have you got there?

Where, sir?

In your hand.

In my hand, sir?

Yes, in your hand.

A yo-yo, sir.

Carry on, Lieutenant.

I'm thinking of... Excuse me, lady.

Why, Major, you ought to talk to Lieutenant Maloney.

He's our yo-yo champion.

I've talked to Lieutenant Maloney.

Excuse me.

Well, he seems to be getting right into the swing of things.

Demerit list, sir.

As long as I'm coming down here, there'll be no

gold-bricking and no sloppy disregard for orders.

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Skowalski, do you think a footlocker's the proper place to store half a fruitcake?

No, sir.

The next time your parents send you cake, what are you going to do with it?

Eat the whole thing at mail call.

25 demerits.

Dismissed.

How's the typewriter?

It ain't fixed.

Hyppler.

Sergeant Hyppler.

Aren't you a little old to be playing with toys?

Oh, I don't play with them, sir.

I operate on them.

Well, here, I'll show you.

It's supposed to run forward.

I reverse the gears.

You left the grounds without permission to buy this thing.

According to the rules, that's 50 demerits.

Well, I get headaches, sir.

Terrible headaches.

My mother says I should take aspirin, so I went to town to buy aspirin.

Well, you can ask my mother, sir.

Still 50 demerits.

And that means I'll lose my stripes.

Next time, give me a straight answer.

No more larking about headaches.

Doozy, see that he removes the stripes from his uniforms.

Yes, sir.

My mother isn't gonna like this, sir.

Give her my condolences.

She'll talk to my father.

My father knows a lot of important people in Washington.

Shut up, Hyppler.

Let's make that another 50 demerits.

All right, Flaherty.

Flaherty, why did you pour a bottle of mercurochrome in your bed?

It spilled, sir.

I was putting it on my finger.

Nothing wrong with your finger, and you know it.

You're not a baby anymore, private.

The way you're handling yourself, you'll be old and gray before you make corporal.

You spend more time on sick call than you do on the drill field.

Well, we don't operate that way around here.

You fake an injury, you'll get no pampering from me.

Now, see here, let's have none of that, you hear?

Flaherty, control yourself.

I feel sick.

Flaherty, Tigard, now listen to me.

I'm gonna throw up.

Throw up?

No, no, Tigard, wait.

Wait, Tigard, how would you like a yo-yo to play with?

Tigard, control yourself.

I can't help it, I'm gonna throw up.

Stop saying that.

Is something wrong, Major?

He hit me, he hit me.

I did no such thing.

He was going to throw up, to be sick.

He hit me, he really did.

I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, a little kid like that.

Now, now, Thomas, what did you promise me about telling the truth?

Hmm?

Come on.

We'll get cleaned up for supper.

You must excuse Thomas, Major.

Some of our boys are a little young to be away from home.

Enjoying your work?

Did you hear that little monster?

He said I hit him.

You had every right to hit him.

He was goal-breaking, wasn't he?

Oh, look, Lambie, I've had a hard day.

You'll find it easier if you earn a little friendlier terms with everyone.

Well, how about starting Saturday night?

That hotel in Santa Barbara has a dance band.

That's not what I had in mind.

I saw Hibbler outside.

He said you gave him 100 demerits.

He deserved them.

That many?

Look, Lambie, rules are rules.

They're meant to be enforced.

When rules are enforced too severely, the boys find ways of getting even.

Okay, I'll put in for combat pay.

Well, it was only a thought.

Knock it off, you guys.

We got enough trouble already.

Who are you griping about?

I got 100 demerits and busted to a private besides.

Men, I've given this matter a great deal of thought.

We might as well face it.

Major Benson is a creep.

Hey, that's pretty neat.

I wish it was a time bomb I put under Benson's pillow.

Either way, I'll fix his wagon.

I'm gonna write a letter to my mother.

Oh, whistle-nose, you're always writing letters to your mother.

Yeah, well, you wait and see, boy.

My mother has a lot of influence from my father.

He'll get Benson, Ken.

You think he could?

Sure.

We'll tell him to get busy.

Time to make Benson get my yo-yo back.

Knock it off in here.

Just a second, sir.

We're not in bed.

Well, get him dead.

Is everything all right, Sylvester?

Oh, yes, Mother Redemptor.

Everything's fine.

Why, Thomas, what's wrong?

I want to go to the wall.

No, your mother will be coming to see you on visitor's day.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of Major Benson.

Now, now, Thomas, did we say our prayers tonight?

Major Benson hates me because I can't keep in step.

Nobody hates you, Thomas.

He yells at me all the time.

Well, I think these first few days have been a little strenuous for the Major.

But perhaps we could mention him in our prayers.

Couldn't count away in holes or pray for him instead.

Now, Thomas.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come and will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from eagles, amen.

No, Thomas.

Deliver us from evil, not eagles.

And deliver us from evil, and make it not so strenuous for Major Benson, amen.

Amen.

Don't be nervous, Major.

What do I do?

What do I say?

Just be natural.

Say some nice things about the boys.

Be natural.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Corrigan, may I present, um, Major Benson.

How do you do, Major?

Nice to meet you.

How do you do?

Fine boy you have here.

Michael's showing a lot of improvement.

I'm glad to hear that, but his name is Charles.

Oh, Charles, yes.

Fine boy.

Fine boy.

Wouldn't you like to say hello to the Hanraties?

Yes.

Nice to talk to you.

Oh, yes, indeed.

He's gonna make a fine soldier.

Help us keep our ROTC rating.

With a little more discipline, of course.

Glad to hear it.

Now, how about football this season?

Confidentially.

What are our chances?

Oh, no different than any other season.

Fine.

Sheridan hasn't won a football game in four years.

Too bad.

Excuse me, would you?

Oh, Major, I'd like you to meet someone very important to us.

How do you do?

Fine son you've got.

Oh, you're...

This is Monsignor Collins, the archbishop's representative, Major Benson.

How do you do, Major?

Glad to meet you, sir.

If you'll excuse me.

Barney, Mr. and Mrs. Hibbler are here.

I've got them isolated in your office.

Why?

They got some kind of catching disease?

I don't want them to talk to Mother Redemptor.

Mrs. Hibbler's furious.

What about?

You took her son's stripes away, remember?

Now, I suggest you go in there and turn on the charm.

I don't waste my charm on parents.

I save it for doctors.

Now, come on.

That's him.

He looks very friendly.

That's the way he looks, but he's horrible.

Major Benson is very pleased to have this chance to talk with you privately.

Yes, very pleased.

Now, what seems to be the problem?

Well, to be frank, Major, we're a little

concerned about the severity of the punishment.

We're more than a little concerned.

It seems you've taken a particular dislike to my son.

Not at all.

I don't dislike him any more than any other boy.

I mean me.

What he means is that he's treated Gerald just like every other boy.

Modern education does not treat each boy like every other boy.

Now, we're not asking for special treatment.

The fact remains that Gerald is a special case.

He has emotional problems.

Yes, I believe he has.

I think they're the result of over-pampering.

Pampering?

What he means is... Simply that the boy is spoiled.

It wasn't done here.

I beg your pardon.

Major, do you mean to imply... Never mind, Harold.

We'll take this matter up with a higher authority.

Just a minute.

Since you intend to go to a higher authority about this,

you might as well take some more ammunition with you.

I don't know why you sent your son to a military school,

but you're cheating him out of whatever good can come of it.

Hibbler was punished.

He deserved to be and he knew it, but the

ball didn't bounce his way, so he ran to you.

When you tell that to your higher authority, you might

also tell them who taught the boy to behave that way.

That's very good advice, Major.

Oh, yes, sir.

That was a sterling performance.

A soft answer turned it away right.

They asked for it.

They asked for it?

Barney, haven't you got any sense of people?

He's their son.

Right or wrong, they're worried about him.

They should be.

You just can't understand affection, can you?

It won't sink into that armor-plated head of yours.

You're just incapable of anything tender.

I'll show you how incapable I am.

Whoa!

Come in.

Excuse me, sir.

I need some advice.

Some personal advice.

Well, don't you usually go to Mother Redemptor for that sort of thing?

Oh, I couldn't, sir.

This is a problem where I need a man's advice.

It's kind of hard to tell you.

Well, I saw a book here.

I've read the book, sir.

I want you to help me write a letter.

There's this girl I kind of like.

Girl?

At your age?

Well, it can't be very serious.

Yes, it is.

Look, her name's Nancy.

I write her letters, but they don't seem to make much impression.

Have you tried soft soap?

Sir?

Females are about 10% brains and 90% emotions.

When you want to impress a female, use soft soap.

Tell her she's wonderful.

Tell her she's right.

About what?

About anything.

Just see everything her way.

I don't know.

You think it'll work?

You take my word for it.

I wanted to come to the first football game.

You know, I'm the captain.

By the way, football practice starts next week.

Gonna make out better this season?

Well, we've got good material.

But, naturally, it takes a coach to make a team.

Who's your coach?

You are, sir.

Good night, sir.

All right, let's have the ball.

Well, all right, men!

Fall in over here!

At ease now.

I understand this school's never won a football championship.

That right?

Yes, sir.

This year, we get the cup.

That's a promise.

Starting today, you men are out here to learn how to win.

The kind of football I like is rock'em and sock'em, so bear that in mind.

We'll be running from the tee.

That calls for fast, heads-up ball.

Teehee!

Practice every day at three o'clock sharp.

And we practice and practice and practice until you get it right.

Understand?

Yes, sir.

All right, let's go.

Dig!

Come on, get those heads-up now!

No, no, start again!

Get your tails down and dig!

No, no, no, don't kiss it!

Hit it!

Come on now, dig!

Hit the dummy!

Once again.

Do it again.

Once again.

Come on, one more time.

Let's go.

You better practice a few more placekicks before you call it a day.

Sir, I've been meaning to tell you I wrote the letter to Nancy like you said.

She wrote me back.

Yeah?

What'd she say?

She said it was the sappiest letter she ever got.

Forget about girls.

You shouldn't have anything on your mind but football.

Yes, sir.

Sorry, sir.

Want us to try it again?

Charles!

Tingles!

Time!

One, two, three, four, five, six...

How many times have I got to tell you?

Don't hang on to the ball.

When he grabs it, let go.

You stand over there and watch me once.

All right, one more time.

Put a little snap into it this time.

You fellas want a winning team, let's see some aggressiveness around here.

That mean you want us to tackle, sir?

Certainly you tackle.

When you hit, hit hard.

Rock them and sock them.

All right.

Signals, set.

One, two, three, four.

What's the hole there?

What's the guard?

Fill that hole there.

Oh, I'm sorry.

All right, boys, get off now.

You all right, Major?

Sure, I'm all right.

Look out.

Let's take it easy now.

Well, we did it his way.

Rock them and sock them.

Don't know how a thing like this could happen.

Played a lot of football in high school.

It must be out of condition.

Suggest drinking more milk, but you'd probably have to take it intravenously.

Sure hate to let the fellas down.

Oh, don't worry.

You'll be back scrimmaging with the boys in a few days.

Days?

Don't be ridiculous.

That's a very bad sprain.

Look, I can't even walk on it.

Major, if there's one thing I will not stand for, it's goal-breaking.

Here.

Did you really play football in high school?

Yeah, for one week in the third team.

Then I got kicked off the squad.

It's not a very bad sprain, but I won't tell anybody.

Nice wristwatch you've got there.

It's a present from the boys.

You know, Bonnie, they'd like you, too, if you'd give them half a chance.

I know this isn't the kind of assignment that

you'd choose, but you have no other choice.

Why not relax and enjoy it?

Well, you're the doctor.

Thanks for everything.

It's, uh, Friday night.

I hate to just sit around suffering.

There's a movie in town.

Thought you might like to see it.

I have a car.

I'll pick you up at seven.

You'll pick me up?

After all, you're a wounded soldier.

Well, seven o'clock.

And don't be late.

Get to Maris for that.

Sir, I, uh, I came to see if you're all right.

Good if you're dizzy.

Nothing serious, just a very bad sprain.

See, that's a shame, sir.

Breaks of the game.

You know, uh, I've been thinking about that letter you wrote your girl.

I may have given you the wrong advice there.

Females are very complicated creatures.

Very complicated and very sensitive.

I like a man who's ready and waiting.

Nice to see you, too.

I was just thinking, now, why don't we, uh, skip the movie and go to the hotel?

They've got a nice dance band.

My knee's feeling much better now.

I want to go to the movies.

Larry said we could go to the movies.

What's he doing here?

He couldn't go home this weekend.

Do you mind?

No, I couldn't be happier.

Larry?

Yes, dear?

Hold my hand, too.

Now get undressed and go right to bed.

And don't forget to say your prayers.

I won't.

Did you like the picture?

Uh-huh.

But next time, let's not take him along.

Good night, tiger.

Sleep tight.

I'm sorry the evening was a disappointment to you.

Evening's not over yet.

Barney, not out here.

Well, let's go someplace else.

Let's drive to Santa Barbara.

Don't be silly.

I have to work tomorrow.

There are other things in life besides work.

Look, Barney, I don't think we ought to start anything.

I mean, why get involved?

What's the point?

I mean, you're the sort of person you are.

And I'm the sort of person I am.

Did you have a pleasant evening?

Oh, yes, very pleasant.

That's nice.

Come on, let's go.

Go?

Where?

Anywhere, just away from here.

No, Barney.

Oh, I'd love to, but you need your sleep.

No, we need... I keep worrying about your poor leg with all that shrapnel in it.

Oh, wait, it's just a small piece of shrapnel.

Don't argue with the doctor.

Good night.

Go in and tell them to crack that line open in the next play.

37 to the left.

They're all pretty tired, sir.

So is the other team.

When you got them in the run, keep pounding.

Yes, sir.

Barney, they're not fighting a war out there.

We've already got the game won.

Isn't that enough?

33 to 7.

That's not bad.

Where do they score those seven points?

No answers, huh?

Okay, we're going back out there and run some

plays till we find out where the weak spots are.

Let's go.

I wonder if they got in the openings in the fans.

We always felt this niche would make a splendid

place for displaying athletic trophies.

Only Sharon had never won one until today.

To set it in place, I give you your coach, Major Benson.

You boys who've played football have had a hard season.

I've been tough, but you have to be tough to win.

Some of you haven't cared much for my methods, just as

you haven't liked them out there in the drill field.

Well, I wanted to make a point.

I wanted to prove that my way is the right way.

There's your proof.

You're champions.

I'm proud of you.

Now, if one of you fellas will pass the trophy up here...

Well, give me...

I'll get it, Major.

Wait a minute.

Ducey, you're the captain.

What's this all about?

Go on, tell him.

They don't want the trophy, sir.

Silvest.

That's all right, Mother Adaptive.

What do you mean?

Just wasn't any good, that's all.

They had to play football the way they had to drill.

It was better when they lost and had fun at it.

Is that the way all of you feel?

Okay.

Barney, what can you say, dear, except I told you so.

You boys are dismissed.

Hey, Tiger, you haven't signed the petition yet.

What's a petition?

It's like a letter.

I already wrote my mother this week.

Not your mother, stupid.

This is a petition to get rid of old Benson.

Are you going to mail it to him?

No, I'm going to mail it to my father.

Will it hurt him?

Sure, if my father takes it to Washington.

Well, okay.

Airport and hurry it up.

Barney, Barney.

What did he say to the driver?

He said airport and hurry up.

Where do you think he's going?

I don't know, but I hope he stays there.

Yeah.

Barney, excuse me.

Oh, Barney, I was afraid I'd miss you.

I've only got a minute.

Well, you could at least have said goodbye.

Goodbye?

It's been a pleasure.

Well, you can't just walk out and leave the school.

No, I can't, huh?

You're the commandant.

They can get somebody else.

Well, I can't.

What?

What about me?

No future in it.

No point to it.

Major, may I have your ticket, please?

Oh, Barney, don't give it to him.

We're different kinds of people.

You said so yourself.

Well, I could be wrong, couldn't I?

Oh, no.

Now, you.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Oh, Barney.

Your ticket, Major.

Will you please move along?

Barney, Barney, don't go.

Lady, may I have your ticket, please?

Goodbye, Kay.

Sir, it's just that...

Well, I understand why it was necessary to assign me to Sheridan.

You were right, sir.

I had a lesson to learn.

Well, I just wanted to let you know that I've learned it.

I think I can say that I'm a changed man.

I'm glad to hear it.

Now, of course, someone else should have his chance at Sheridan.

I'm ready to move on to some other job.

That's just fine, Barney.

I'm glad you agree, sir.

I couldn't agree less.

Sir?

Don't you think I know what's going on at that school?

You've handled yourself about as gracefully as an elephant on an escalator.

You haven't proved anything according to my reports.

Reports?

Reports from Mother Redempta, who, for your information, just happens to be my sister.

Your sister?

Sister!

That General Ramsey is nothing but collusion.

Of all the sneaky, underhanded...

Don't... Don't you say anything.

Don't you say another word.

Well, now, you...

You don't have to go back to Sheridan.

You can kiss the army goodbye.

You can...

You can go wherever you please.

But if you want to drag what's left of your career off the junk pile,

you'll be back there tomorrow morning with a new attitude.

Now, make up your mind.

How long do I have, sir?

One minute.

Thirty seconds!

Present... Halt!

Order!

Good morning, gentlemen.

Good morning, sir.

Nice to have you back, sir.

I'm sure you're delighted, Mr. Petry.

Now, if all our little friends are ready, perhaps

you'd like to get started with the morning's drill.

Yes, sir.

Right shoulder, halt!

Right face!

Forward, halt!

I really think you're better, tiger.

I feel that's better now.

I feel sick again.

I feel a little giddy myself.

Come on, tiger.

Come on.

Left, left, left, right, left.

Up, up, left, left, left, right, left.

To the rear.

Harch, count cadence, count.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One,

two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Aye.

Well, we didn't expect you back.

You know how it is.

No, I don't.

You might tell me.

Well, the army.

Oh, I see.

To the rear, harch!

Look, I've got to see you alone after.

We've got lots to talk about.

I'm sorry, Barney.

I got all talked out at the airport.

You'd better go see Mother Redemptor.

She'll be glad to know that you're back.

Come in.

Mother Redemptor.

Oh, pardon me.

You're back, Major.

Please stay.

I was just telling one senior Collins that you

were called away to Washington for a few days.

Major, we've heard some disconcerting rumors about you and the children.

A family named Hibbler, I believe.

Yes, Hibbler.

Yes, Hibbler.

Well, what about the Hibblers?

Now, Major, let's not be argumentative.

All right, let's be friendly.

What about them?

Well, it seems they stumbled on that magazine article about you.

They threatened to go to the army about your assignment.

There's no need for them to do that.

You could just include their gripe in one of your reports.

My reports, Major?

Mother Redemptor, why didn't you tell me you were General Ramsey's sister?

Why, you never ask me?

Blighty getting stuck!

Hup!

Hibbler!

Company, halt!

Having fun, Hanratty?

No, sir.

The reason you're all spending extra hours out here is

because you're the two sloppiest platoons in school.

You've been drilling all year, and all you do is get worse.

You've got six weeks to go.

You'll practice this drill four hours every day till you get it right.

Blighty!

Go over there and practice by yourself until you learn left from right.

Get going!

You start off with your left foot.

You're inattention!

Hanratty, breach of military courtesy, 50 demerits.

Excuse me, Major.

All right.

Mother Redemptor wishes to see you.

Platoon leaders, carry on!

Forward march!

We've got two more hours to go.

Left, left, right.

Flighty!

Left,

left, left, left, left, left, left.

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Major.

You know, we've had strong complaints about you from the Hibblers.

And I've had questioning letters from other parents, too.

But I had hoped that somehow you and the boys could adjust to each other.

We're getting along.

I received this today from my brother.

He says a petition has appeared in the Pentagon.

It asks that you be dismissed.

Every boy in the school signed it.

Excuse me, there were four who didn't.

Dusick and three others.

You mean I've got four friends?

Well, Dusick seems to like you.

The other three have the measles.

They've been isolated.

Don't you think you have been rather severe on the boys, Major?

If you want to pass ROTC inspection...

The welfare of their bodies and their souls comes first.

Your soul, too, Major.

You have one, you know.

Even after 15 years in the Army.

Thanks for telling me.

I didn't know.

She's just trying to help you.

Tell her to stop trying.

Who needs it?

Oh, you've got the situation under control, have you?

All I know is I'm fed up.

I've had it.

You know, you should read some books on child psychology.

You'd learn a lot about yourself.

You tell me.

Tell me about myself.

That's all I need.

I can tell you plenty.

You think your heart is a rut.

When you find out a bunch of kids don't like you.

You go all to pieces.

Don't you?

Oh, Barney, honey, I don't blame you, but we

can fix things together if you'll let me try.

I've had all the help I can take from anybody.

Sir, I've got some good news.

I could stand some.

I've invited Nancy, my girlfriend, to the inspection.

She's gonna come.

Tough luck.

Headed for town?

Yeah.

Hop in.

I'm one of the older boys.

Whoa.

What's the cost of a ticket to Los Angeles?

For a big boy like you, that'd be a dollar twenty-five.

A dollar twenty-five cents?

That's right.

Oh, I just want it.

All

right, let's have an explanation while you're running away.

Well, there must be a reason.

Don't you like the school?

No, I hate it.

What don't you like about it?

Teachers?

Mother Redemptor?

They're okay.

Do you hate the other fellas?

No.

What do you hate?

Funny thing.

I ran away tonight, too.

What don't you like?

I'm just beginning to find out.

How'd you get away from the school?

Anybody see you leave?

Uh-uh.

I snuck out after a bed check.

Maybe we could get back in before they find out.

Yeah.

You hungry?

I didn't eat much dinner.

Neither did I.

Let's get a hamburger.

You can march at ease, tiger.

The drill's over now.

Do you have?

A couple of hamburgers and two milks.

I'd rather have pop.

I can pay for it.

Milk, if you want to grow up to be tall.

How tall are you?

How tall do you think?

About ten feet.

Yeah, I guess it does look that way.

Here.

A little easier to talk.

Look,

looks like I've got a problem.

I've got to get back to the school, but I don't have enough money for the taxi.

Maybe you could let me have some of yours.

Danny wouldn't have enough to get to Los Angeles.

Don't even have enough now.

Yeah, that's right.

I just thought maybe if we kind of worked together, we could both get someplace.

The way things are now, we're both stuck.

I know you don't like me, but now you see the way things are, I need you.

I've only got 30 cents.

It's just a loan.

Well, okay, if you're in trouble.

Thanks, tiger.

Hey, where do we get a taxi?

You don't.

Not after 10.

Only one taxi driver in this town, he knocks off at 10.

Looks like we walk.

You feel like walking, tiger?

I guess so.

Sir, will you do me a favor?

It's possible.

Just don't tell Lamia I ran away.

It might hurt her feelings.

Oh?

She likes me a lot.

I hope she's still around when I grow up.

I think maybe I'll marry her.

Well, it's always a good idea to have a doctor in the family.

Are you gonna tell anybody I ran away?

I haven't decided.

If you don't tell any, I won't tell on you.

Okay, now getting in past the gates is a military problem.

You leave it to me.

I don't have my key in it.

It's locked.

That's all right.

I know a way.

Come on.

Yes, sir.

Come on, sir.

It's easy.

Easy?

Come on, sir.

You can make it.

I've looked everywhere.

I can't find...

Now get in there and go to bed.

Don't tell anybody what happened.

I won't.

Good night.

Good night.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Here's my stamps.

Go get yours and I'll trade you.

You know, Major Benson might be a hard man on the drill field, but you gotta admit,

in all other ways, he's a goon.

He is not.

Major Benson's a good guy.

Well, listen to the old tiger roar.

Get that boy to the doctor.

He's really sick this time.

I am not.

And I'm sorry I ever signed that old petition.

I want to take my name back.

Well, it's too late for that.

My father wrote me everything's fixed.

I took mail around before drill, and Benson

got himself a nice, fat letter from Washmount.

Army stuff.

Are you sure?

That gentleman is the end of Sad Sack Benson.

Enemy of the people.

John, would you come to Mother Redemptor's office, please?

Don't let Benson fool you, kid.

He'll try and get all of us on his side just to pass that old ROTC test.

But the voice of doom has spoken.

Yay!

It's not an expensive watch.

The only reason I mind losing it is because the boys gave it to me.

I'll have another look around.

It'll probably turn up.

Seems to me we're in trouble.

We're overlooking another rather unpleasant possibility.

The watch could have been stolen.

Oh, no, Barney.

I can't believe that.

I don't want to believe it myself, but John found the blouse, insignia and

the infirmary, right?

Under Dr. Lambert's desk.

The boys are always losing those.

In your office?

Nothing like this ever happened here before.

I'll see what I can do.

Just remember, you're not running the military police.

Hand ready.

Check.

Skowalski.

Check.

Morelli.

Check.

Hibbler.

Check.

Ohlone.

Check.

Your mother'd be mighty upset by this, wouldn't she, Hibbler?

Yes, sir.

You know the penalty for stealing?

Yes, sir, but I didn't steal it.

You're going to tell me somebody else stole it?

No, sir.

I took it, but not to steal it.

That's the truth, sir, honest.

Let's have the watch.

You went to the infirmary, the watch was on the desk, you took it.

If that isn't stealing...

I just wanted to operate on it, sir.

I never worked on a watch that small before.

Well, I got it apart all right, but I couldn't get it back together again.

I was scared to take it back to her.

I'll get it back to her.

You better get this back in your blouse.

This won't happen again, will it, Hibbler?

No, sir.

Dismissed.

Sir, are you going to say anything to my mother?

What's there to say?

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

What you got in your hand?

Come on, show it.

Well, John said he found a medallion in the infirmary, under the desk.

So you're the one who swiped the watch.

I didn't swipe it.

You just borrowed it for keeps, huh?

No.

I got six watches of my own.

Why would I swipe one?

I just wanted to work on it.

Gosh, I was going to give it back.

What's Benson going to do?

Nothing.

Nothing.

You can't do that.

He could have you thrown out of school for this.

Well, he's not going to.

How many demerits?

Ten thousand?

No demerits.

He's not even going to tell my mother.

Holy mackerel.

What's gotten into that guy?

What are you so worried about?

The petition.

He found it, all right.

Caught the boy red-handed.

Got a confession out of him, too.

Is he going to have the boy expelled?

Didn't say.

The watch is kind of... I don't care about the watch.

I'm worried about the boy.

Which one was it?

I asked the man myself.

Said it was none of my business.

You mean he wouldn't tell you the boy's name?

Wouldn't even tell Mother he dumped her.

Ornery cuss, isn't he?

Yeah.

Good night, Doctor.

Oh, good night, John.

Good night, John.

Here's your watch.

You know, you're going to be quite a guy, Benson.

I'll have it fixed, if you like, in Washington.

In Washington?

Yeah, I've been given 48 hours to report.

I'll leave tomorrow.

But why?

Fortune's a war.

There'll be a replacement out in a few days.

Oh, darling, I'm awfully sorry.

Yeah, so am I.

I would have liked to finish the job, but...

I will say the goodbyes for tomorrow, huh?

I'll see you in the morning.

Here, take this.

All right.

All present are accounted for, sir.

Nothing coming out present are accounted for, sir.

Nothing coming out present are accounted for, sir.

All present are accounted for, sir.

All present are accounted for, sir.

Very well, Colonel, I'll take over.

At ease!

I'll make this short and to the point.

As of this morning, I'm detached from duty at Sheridan.

In a day or two, you'll have a new commandant.

He'll continue your training for the ROTC test.

You and I haven't done so well together.

You haven't liked me, and that's understandable.

I gave you pretty rough time.

Maybe you'd like to know why.

I came here with a lot of theories.

I believed in them and backed them to the hilt.

Well, they were wrong.

For a long time, I thought that was your fault.

Now, just to keep the record straight, it wasn't.

I was the one that made the mistakes.

Unfortunately, you'll have to pay for them.

Unless somehow you can... ...pull yourselves together and pass the ROTC inspection.

You haven't much time, so...

...do your best for your new officer.

Your school... ...and yourselves.

I'll be looking forward to hearing how well you make out.

Good luck.

Tallyin!

Tin hut!

Dismissed.

You and that gurney petition!

Well, what can I do about it now?

Why don't you ask Lanny?

I bet she could keep him here.

He loves her.

Hey!

Oh, Barney!

Going already?

My plan leaves in an hour.

How righteous as I find out what's gonna happen to me.

Okay.

I may not be in the army.

Come here a minute.

You love me.

What?

I said, do you love me?

As a matter of fact, I do.

Good.

I'm going to need all your devotion.

A couple of the boys would like to say goodbye to you too.

You tell them goodbye for me.

So long, Michaels.

So long, Major.

Bye.

So long, Richie.

I'm sorry, Major, but we're going to have to keep you here for a while.

Honey, I'd love to, but I've got to play.

But you've just been exposed to measles.

What?

Incubation period, course of disease.

Ought to keep you here about three weeks.

You'll find that bed quite comfortable.

Well, you can't do this!

I have to be in Washington!

You leave this room and I'll have you reported to the health department.

Your medical chart shows you've never had measles.

So what?

So you soon will have.

Now, make yourself comfortable.

Just put it down right there, John.

I don't think our patient has much appetite.

Looks terrible.

Yes, doesn't he?

His hair, for sick as he looks, must be in awful shape.

You don't know the half of it.

Ramsey says since I can't leave the school,

I retain responsibility until the inspection.

Oh, that's nice.

You'll be all well by then.

Nice?

He's coming down here himself.

I'm responsible for that.

Oh, don't give up.

A coward dies a thousand deaths.

The valiant die but once.

I'm dead.

I'm ready.

Maloney.

Detail?

Yeah?

All right, you clowns.

Play's over.

Let's get to work.

Get your units in order and start drilling.

We've already drilled an hour, sir.

One hour, two hours, three hours.

You're going to drill until you get it right.

You understand?

Yes, sir.

Forward, forward, turn.

Hand ready, keep in step.

Does everybody in this school have two left feet?

Straighten up those files.

All right, you guys.

You're going to keep on drilling until you do it right.

Well, Benson, glad to see you.

Brother of those kids, it better be good.

I want you to meet the inspecting officers.

Colonel Marvin, Major Benson.

How do you do, gentlemen?

Tired to hear you've been under the weather, Major.

Hey, Colonel, hold here.

What was it?

A touch of the virus?

No, measles.

Oh, don't say.

I'd like to explain about the boys, sir.

They've done their best, but naturally... We'll need a judge of that, Major.

Shall we go to the stands?

Yes, sir.

There he is.

There's Sylvester.

Isn't he a dream?

Sir, the battalion is formed.

Hate you, folks.

Ladies and gentlemen, the special platoon will

demonstrate the cadence system of close-order drift.

I wish

the archbishop were here.

Oh, I'm so proud of them.

There, there, there.

What's the matter, Barney?

Maybe you haven't recovered, are you?

Oh, yes, sir.

I'm feeling stronger every minute.

Oh, good.

Quite up to their standard, aren't they, Major?

Hold.

Hold.

Turn.

Kill.

Left, left.

We march and march and march and then we march and over and back again.

We're only boys with feet like men.

Step out of your money and left.

Left.

Oh, laugh.

Not bad, Barney.

Not bad.

Not bad.

They're terrific.

Bottom right.

Hers.

House in review.

Right face.

Right shoulder.

Battalion.

Rather unorthodox, isn't it?

Well, who cares?

If they appreciate a good officer, they can show it any way they want to.

I don't get it.

The petition.

Oh, that.

They asked for that back while you were in the hospital.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Don't let me influence you, but I think they ought to keep their ROTC rating.

Well, General, influence or no influence, I agree.

How about you, Colonel?

Why, it's unanimous.

Well, Major, we'll see you later.

Yes, sir.

Major.

Barney.

I've lined up a new assignment for you.

Battalion Commander, Fort Benning.

Very, very good chance for promotion.

Think it over.

Think it over?

I mean, thank you, sir.

Thank you.

One thing I learned out here, sir.

Always think before I talk.

What do you say?

You're the doctor.

Yes, you got more out of this assignment than I figured you for.

If you'll excuse us, we have a lot to talk about.

And don't say anything to the other ladies.

We'll tell them ourselves.

As you wish.

Well, Sister Teresa, shall we join the ladies?