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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,147 --> 00:00:34,146 ** 2 00:00:34,147 --> 00:00:36,650 When I made love to him 3 00:00:36,691 --> 00:00:40,654 I dwell in the mystery of our oneness. 4 00:00:40,695 --> 00:00:43,949 It was a feeling so spiritual 5 00:00:44,449 --> 00:00:46,888 It was as though I should remove my shoes 6 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,230 in the presence of the holy. 7 00:00:50,329 --> 00:00:51,820 With my lips. 8 00:00:52,373 --> 00:00:55,835 I traced my name upon his skin, 9 00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:59,074 and I'd find God there. 10 00:00:59,505 --> 00:01:02,174 With my heart pressed against his chest 11 00:01:02,216 --> 00:01:05,135 his breath breathing life into my soul, 12 00:01:05,176 --> 00:01:07,434 I could live again. 13 00:01:07,887 --> 00:01:09,981 I'd see my lover there. 14 00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:13,841 And no longer was it, that I want him, need him 15 00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:15,538 or loved him, but that... 16 00:01:16,938 --> 00:01:18,395 ..I was him. 17 00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:26,780 This was Chris, my mission companion. 18 00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,742 Five years ago, we were separated, 19 00:01:29,783 --> 00:01:32,244 after it was discovered, that we were slightly more 20 00:01:32,286 --> 00:01:34,245 than just mission companions. 21 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,498 I was immediately sent home, 22 00:01:37,582 --> 00:01:40,254 and Chris was allowed to stay in Clackamas Falls. 23 00:01:41,044 --> 00:01:42,295 But we kept in touch. 24 00:01:42,957 --> 00:01:44,306 And after his mission, 25 00:01:44,473 --> 00:01:46,415 We went on a trip across America. 26 00:01:47,423 --> 00:01:49,423 We had time of our lives. 27 00:01:49,657 --> 00:01:52,729 For a few months, we weren't Elder Smith and Elder Merrill. 28 00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:54,102 We had no obligations 29 00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,742 and no pressure from our families or the church. 30 00:01:57,429 --> 00:01:59,649 We were just Chris and RJ. 31 00:01:59,903 --> 00:02:02,643 On our own and loving every minute of it. 32 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,609 After some time, we faced the reality, that we would 33 00:02:06,650 --> 00:02:08,611 eventually, have to go home. 34 00:02:08,861 --> 00:02:11,947 I drove into Salt Lake, Chris' home town. 35 00:02:12,226 --> 00:02:15,421 We agreed to take care of our respective loose ends. 36 00:02:15,701 --> 00:02:18,335 And he talked about transferring to Poisy State with me. 37 00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:21,998 We kissed and said goodbye. 38 00:02:22,772 --> 00:02:25,069 And I went home to Idaho Falls. 39 00:02:25,447 --> 00:02:27,296 I never saw him again. 40 00:02:28,213 --> 00:02:30,401 I sent letters, I'd call... 41 00:02:31,341 --> 00:02:32,362 And nothing. 42 00:02:35,011 --> 00:02:37,262 If only I knew, what happened to him, 43 00:02:37,304 --> 00:02:40,099 then maybe, I'd have some closure. 44 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,837 These days I live in Seattle. 45 00:02:44,645 --> 00:02:46,787 I'm neither Mormon, nor gentile. 46 00:02:47,439 --> 00:02:49,830 I was never formally excommunicated. 47 00:02:50,442 --> 00:02:53,861 I just stopped associating myself with the church at all. 48 00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:57,988 But... I still wear my temple garments 49 00:02:58,324 --> 00:03:00,723 I still have a food storage. 50 00:03:01,077 --> 00:03:03,285 And I still have a deep love... 51 00:03:03,704 --> 00:03:05,397 for our Heavenly Father. 52 00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:14,443 So, from what you've been telling me... 53 00:03:14,513 --> 00:03:16,654 you've been working hard to stay focussed 54 00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,756 and maintain the standing of the Church. 55 00:03:19,094 --> 00:03:20,345 Yes, sir. 56 00:03:22,263 --> 00:03:25,168 Six months ago, I was intimate with my mission companion, 57 00:03:25,808 --> 00:03:27,645 even though I knew it was wrong. 58 00:03:31,355 --> 00:03:34,693 Do you still think that you are unfazed of same-sex attraction? 59 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,976 I am much stronger now. 60 00:03:47,787 --> 00:03:50,623 Would you like to continue your service to your Church ? 61 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,646 Yes, I would. 62 00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:53,396 More than anything. 63 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,052 As I said before, 64 00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:02,912 our Heavenly Father doesn't present to us any temptation... 65 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,297 that we do not have the power to overcome. 66 00:04:06,263 --> 00:04:08,379 It's a choice, that we make 67 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:12,560 To act in virtue, or give in to temptation. 68 00:04:16,064 --> 00:04:19,442 Considering your humility and desire to do the right thing, 69 00:04:20,318 --> 00:04:22,707 I see no need for disciplinary action. 70 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:27,520 Thank you. 71 00:04:29,565 --> 00:04:30,449 Thank you. 72 00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:25,490 It is an honor to witness two young people... 73 00:05:25,753 --> 00:05:28,076 So deeply in love, and so dedicated 74 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,544 to the church and our Heavenly Father. 75 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,462 Marriage is for eternity 76 00:05:36,191 --> 00:05:38,594 It is the love,that will last in this life... 77 00:05:40,318 --> 00:05:41,611 .. and the next. 78 00:05:52,142 --> 00:05:53,783 Your dedication... 79 00:05:54,408 --> 00:05:57,431 to the Church and to this family, has brought you here. 80 00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,207 You've been given a second chance. 81 00:06:08,992 --> 00:06:09,978 I know... 82 00:06:11,076 --> 00:06:13,504 that you have the courage... 83 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:17,969 and the strentgh, to stay on the right track, this time. 84 00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:20,555 I love you, son. 85 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:23,393 I love you too. 86 00:06:23,985 --> 00:06:25,634 Now, what do you say, we get back in there and 87 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:27,370 join what's left of the party. 88 00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:34,759 I'm so sorry, Dad. 89 00:06:35,369 --> 00:06:37,267 I'm so sorry, for everything. 90 00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,723 Now, Chris... 91 00:06:41,074 --> 00:06:43,201 You've done the right thing. 92 00:06:44,327 --> 00:06:46,329 - Alright? - Yes 93 00:06:46,579 --> 00:06:48,982 I am so proud of you. 94 00:06:57,592 --> 00:07:00,720 - Are you okay? - Yes sir, I'm fine. 95 00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:04,318 I'm gonna go join the party. You take a minute. 96 00:07:05,889 --> 00:07:08,465 - Come when you're ready. - Yes sir. 97 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,413 Okay, I'm gonna be late. 98 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:25,027 You know I have somewhere else to be too. 99 00:08:25,865 --> 00:08:26,532 I know. 100 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,975 I have a meeting... in like 30 minutes. 101 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,185 And ? 102 00:08:43,104 --> 00:08:44,668 - I got to go. - No.. 103 00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:51,164 You know I wrestled in Highschool... 104 00:08:51,482 --> 00:08:52,790 and College. 105 00:08:56,618 --> 00:08:58,702 Okay. Okay. 106 00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:28,057 - Now, you shouldn't eat that stuff. - And why not? 107 00:09:29,773 --> 00:09:33,096 - It's loaded with sugar? - I like sugar. 108 00:09:44,786 --> 00:09:45,786 Thank you. 109 00:10:02,887 --> 00:10:06,451 - Want some? - No 110 00:10:09,185 --> 00:10:12,193 You know? I'm nervous about tonight. 111 00:10:12,647 --> 00:10:13,548 Don't be. 112 00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:15,183 Are you sure you ready for this? 113 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:16,650 No. 114 00:10:19,445 --> 00:10:22,573 - You think it's time, they met us? - Yup. 115 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,277 I gotta go. 116 00:10:26,188 --> 00:10:27,606 I'm gonna be late. 117 00:10:34,625 --> 00:10:35,918 Bye ! 118 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,202 Sorry. 119 00:11:05,242 --> 00:11:06,312 Sorry. 120 00:11:13,162 --> 00:11:14,705 Hey, Rodney! 121 00:11:16,456 --> 00:11:20,210 - RJ? I'm his mother. - Oh... Well, how are you? 122 00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:23,420 Unfortunately, very badly. 123 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:26,036 I'm sorry to hear that... Is everything okay? 124 00:11:26,841 --> 00:11:29,910 Sorry RJ, But Rodney died. 125 00:11:39,587 --> 00:11:42,726 - You want some chicken? - Is really good! 126 00:11:43,472 --> 00:11:46,474 Amazingly good. You gonna love it. 127 00:11:48,986 --> 00:11:50,446 Who is calling me? 128 00:11:51,114 --> 00:11:52,657 - I do not know. - Sorry. 129 00:11:55,952 --> 00:11:58,670 - You want one of Mummy's? - No, no? 130 00:12:00,331 --> 00:12:01,493 Hello? 131 00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:04,341 Speaking. 132 00:12:06,888 --> 00:12:09,590 Yes, Mam! How are you? 133 00:12:14,970 --> 00:12:15,887 Oh no! 134 00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:20,800 Did I ever tell you about Rodney? 135 00:12:22,601 --> 00:12:23,644 A little... 136 00:12:24,979 --> 00:12:27,824 I met him on my mission, with my mission companion Chris, 137 00:12:30,026 --> 00:12:33,185 He was a veteran of Iraq. 138 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:37,521 He had PTST, so 139 00:12:41,801 --> 00:12:44,002 We tried so hard to convert him, but... 140 00:12:46,207 --> 00:12:49,896 We'd always end up hanging out and smoking pot.. 141 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:57,093 He was always so accepting of Chris and I. 142 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,929 Yes. 143 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,766 You did talk about him. 144 00:13:18,987 --> 00:13:21,973 - Are you going to the funeral? - I think so. 145 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,280 Okay. 146 00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:34,418 Sorry, I'm late. How long are you waiting for? 147 00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,277 About twenty minutes. 148 00:13:37,505 --> 00:13:39,919 - Hello, sorry. - It was nothing. 149 00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:42,381 Mom, Dad, this is Paul. 150 00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:46,097 - It's a pleasure to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you, Paul. 151 00:13:46,889 --> 00:13:49,140 - Hi - Hi. 152 00:13:49,141 --> 00:13:51,018 - Good to meet you. - Good to meet you too. 153 00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:54,689 - So, how was your flight? - Bumpy. 154 00:13:55,397 --> 00:13:58,525 - Do I want to ask? - Yes, we will ask. 155 00:13:58,566 --> 00:14:00,424 What do you want to drink? 156 00:14:02,237 --> 00:14:05,446 - I mineral water.. - I Coca Cola. 157 00:14:05,447 --> 00:14:07,032 - Well, I drink. - Thank you. 158 00:14:08,784 --> 00:14:12,037 - So Coca-Cola? - Yes 159 00:14:16,654 --> 00:14:20,643 So... Mr. and Mrs. Smith, How long are you in town? 160 00:14:21,392 --> 00:14:23,858 - Just till Sunday evening... - We're just here for the weekend 161 00:14:23,884 --> 00:14:26,800 - We don't want to be in the way. - Dad you're not in the way. 162 00:14:27,051 --> 00:14:30,179 - I do not know, we never hear from you. - Tom... - No! 163 00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:32,932 I'm not trying to start anything, I'm just saying, 164 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:36,184 I wish to hear from my son more. I misshim. 165 00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:39,287 Mary Ann calls at least once a week. 166 00:14:39,451 --> 00:14:42,170 - Okay, I'll check in more - That would be nice. 167 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,181 So Paul, what do you do? 168 00:14:46,695 --> 00:14:49,971 - I am a personal trainer. - Oh that's nice. 169 00:14:50,282 --> 00:14:53,576 - Paul is working on his MBA. - Oh really? 170 00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:56,120 Tell RJ that has to completing his masters. 171 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,164 - I'll tell you the same. - Okay, okay. 172 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:02,818 Maybe at some point... but... Not now. 173 00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:06,504 - And how's work? - It goes well, yes. 174 00:15:06,546 --> 00:15:09,209 I'm not independent, I am in the office too... 175 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:11,133 But additionally nothing interesting. 176 00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:13,728 I do not know. Nothing too exciting. 177 00:15:14,301 --> 00:15:15,844 How is the shop, Dad? 178 00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:20,383 Well. All is well. I can not complain. 179 00:15:21,436 --> 00:15:24,980 Do you know Mr. Smith, my father is a mechanic. 180 00:15:25,776 --> 00:15:26,299 Really? 181 00:15:26,429 --> 00:15:29,700 Yes, he works primarily on Swedish automobiles. 182 00:15:29,726 --> 00:15:33,025 - Well... they know how to make cars... - Yes. 183 00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:57,608 - Gloria? - Yes -. I'm RJ. 184 00:16:58,402 --> 00:17:00,981 How nice to finally meet you. 185 00:17:01,195 --> 00:17:04,116 - I'm so glad you came. - No, I would not miss it for anything. 186 00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:09,470 You know, not many people knew and I did not go there often. 187 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:13,937 Nice to meet two of his good friends. 188 00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:18,628 - I also loved meeting her. - Thank you. 189 00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,694 Rodney was a complex man. 190 00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:49,364 And through the hardships that life threw at him, 191 00:17:49,390 --> 00:17:53,568 he had this amazing ability to make us laugh. 192 00:17:56,914 --> 00:17:59,416 Some of you may not know this about Rodney, but 193 00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,458 he was a religious man. 194 00:18:01,627 --> 00:18:04,713 Though he may not have considered himself, to be so. 195 00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:09,051 Though he alluded the Doctrines of Faith, 196 00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:11,989 he embodied their essence. 197 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:17,255 And as a lifelong seeker, he had an amazing ability 198 00:18:17,281 --> 00:18:20,175 to help people find their way. 199 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,392 There is a heaven. 200 00:18:27,296 --> 00:18:29,032 And Rodney is there. 201 00:18:30,493 --> 00:18:32,779 - Amen - Amen. 202 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,598 I'm sorry for your loss. 203 00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:50,572 Thank you. 204 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:57,178 Thank you. 205 00:19:04,566 --> 00:19:05,818 RJ! 206 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,899 I almost forgot to give you this. 207 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:13,018 - He was going to mail it to you. - Thank you. 208 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,625 - You keep in touch now. - I will. 209 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,496 I'm sorry your loss. I will miss him. 210 00:19:20,065 --> 00:19:21,525 I am too. 211 00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,705 - Take care now, you. - I will. 212 00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,398 And don't open that here. 213 00:19:32,364 --> 00:19:34,964 - Chris! - Chris. 214 00:19:36,215 --> 00:19:37,383 Yes? 215 00:19:40,094 --> 00:19:41,471 How are you? 216 00:19:45,028 --> 00:19:46,418 Yeah, ehm... 217 00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:49,519 Can we go somewhere and talk? 218 00:19:50,937 --> 00:19:54,434 - What do you wanna talk about? - Maybe we can catch up. 219 00:20:28,931 --> 00:20:31,266 - Hi - Hi. 220 00:20:35,729 --> 00:20:37,971 What a day. 221 00:20:40,951 --> 00:20:42,035 Yes. 222 00:20:44,696 --> 00:20:46,938 Did you get to speak to him? 223 00:20:47,281 --> 00:20:49,559 - To Rodney? - Yeah... 224 00:20:50,451 --> 00:20:53,037 No... not really. 225 00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:56,072 I spoke to him a few times after the end of the mission. 226 00:20:58,251 --> 00:21:00,168 But we lost contact. 227 00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:07,175 - You talked to him? - A few months ago. Yes. 228 00:21:07,217 --> 00:21:10,304 - Sometimes I visited. - Great. 229 00:21:12,514 --> 00:21:14,432 I can't believe he's gone. 230 00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,273 Wish I had a chance to say goodbye. 231 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,930 He had nothing but fond memories of you. 232 00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:26,444 It's good to hear. 233 00:21:29,196 --> 00:21:30,886 It's surreal, is not it? 234 00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:32,950 Yes. 235 00:21:36,578 --> 00:21:39,808 Sitting here with you is very surreal. 236 00:21:40,848 --> 00:21:44,628 - How long has it been? - Five years. - Five years. 237 00:21:45,878 --> 00:21:49,422 - You did this? - I did it, but... 238 00:21:49,423 --> 00:21:52,976 I said a month or two or so and... 239 00:21:53,052 --> 00:21:54,821 - Ok -. Yes. 240 00:21:59,808 --> 00:22:01,223 Well, how's life? 241 00:22:02,310 --> 00:22:05,949 I'm happily married, I live in Salt Lake 242 00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:08,626 I have a little daughter, three years 243 00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,057 I can not believe that. 244 00:22:10,599 --> 00:22:13,756 I work in pharmaceutical sales, so... 245 00:22:13,976 --> 00:22:15,272 life's pretty good. 246 00:22:17,366 --> 00:22:19,231 - Are you married? - Yes 247 00:22:19,743 --> 00:22:21,718 She's amazing, she's like an angel. 248 00:22:22,329 --> 00:22:25,042 I don't have a picture to show, but... 249 00:22:26,124 --> 00:22:27,376 she's incredible. 250 00:22:29,670 --> 00:22:32,235 - I'm happy for you. - Thank you. 251 00:22:36,634 --> 00:22:37,663 What about you? 252 00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:42,515 I'm the Earth and Culture editor at a Seattle magazine. 253 00:22:43,057 --> 00:22:44,501 Yes, and I've ehm... 254 00:22:45,934 --> 00:22:49,104 I've written a couple of short non-fiction books. 255 00:22:49,145 --> 00:22:52,187 - Really? - Yes. - Can I find them anywhere? 256 00:22:52,302 --> 00:22:54,184 Yeah, they're in some bookstores. 257 00:22:55,097 --> 00:22:58,246 I haven't really inquired after all means of distribution, 258 00:22:58,272 --> 00:22:59,566 but yeah, they're there. - Oh. 259 00:23:01,157 --> 00:23:03,067 - I'll look for them. - Cool. 260 00:23:12,376 --> 00:23:14,126 Are you seeing anybody? Or... 261 00:23:15,608 --> 00:23:17,811 - I've been seeing someone for a while. - Ok. 262 00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:20,554 - We are doing well. - What is her name? 263 00:23:22,803 --> 00:23:23,616 Paul. 264 00:23:32,728 --> 00:23:34,604 It's reaslly good to see you, Chris. 265 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,531 It's good to see you too. 266 00:23:40,444 --> 00:23:42,983 I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. 267 00:23:43,621 --> 00:23:45,290 Yes, me too, but... 268 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,886 our Heavenly Father had a plan. 269 00:23:54,472 --> 00:23:57,159 Listen, I hate to make this brief, but I have a really early 270 00:23:57,185 --> 00:24:00,000 flight tomorrow morning, and it has been a very long day. 271 00:24:01,005 --> 00:24:03,506 It looks like they're closing up here anyhow, 272 00:24:03,548 --> 00:24:05,853 so I'm going to bed. 273 00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:08,486 - But it was nice. - Yes, it was good. 274 00:24:10,055 --> 00:24:11,027 Can I walk you up? 275 00:24:11,894 --> 00:24:13,632 You wanna walk me to my room? 276 00:24:13,773 --> 00:24:14,616 Yes. 277 00:24:15,935 --> 00:24:19,104 - Yes, of course. - Okay. Yeah. 278 00:24:19,821 --> 00:24:21,280 That'll be fine. 279 00:24:25,736 --> 00:24:26,737 Thanks, 280 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,702 Well, this is me. 281 00:24:46,130 --> 00:24:47,340 Chris. 282 00:24:49,424 --> 00:24:51,719 Are you sure there's nothing else you wanna talk about? 283 00:24:52,886 --> 00:24:55,204 What exactly would you like to talk about? 284 00:25:00,477 --> 00:25:02,891 You can't just pretend, that nothing happened. 285 00:25:07,024 --> 00:25:07,733 R.J. 286 00:25:10,348 --> 00:25:12,543 Its good to see you, and I'm glad you're doing well... 287 00:25:12,655 --> 00:25:14,747 but I came here to pay my respects Rodney... 288 00:25:14,864 --> 00:25:15,770 So did I. 289 00:25:17,034 --> 00:25:19,120 Then I need you to respect that. 290 00:25:22,789 --> 00:25:23,696 Okay. 291 00:25:28,211 --> 00:25:29,462 Good night. 292 00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:26,574 ♫ ♫ 293 00:27:36,832 --> 00:27:40,876 ♪ I can withstand ♪ 294 00:27:41,252 --> 00:27:44,755 ♪ All tragedies ♪ 295 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:48,718 ♪ And sins, inflicted ♪ 296 00:27:48,759 --> 00:27:52,255 ♪ upon me ♪ 297 00:27:52,507 --> 00:27:59,375 ♪ And sickness without remedy ♪ 298 00:27:59,401 --> 00:28:02,445 ♪ With my heart ... ♪ 299 00:28:02,856 --> 00:28:05,650 - Hey - Hey. 300 00:28:13,449 --> 00:28:14,366 Thank you. 301 00:28:17,536 --> 00:28:19,480 - Hope you don't mind I'm here? - No 302 00:28:32,592 --> 00:28:35,495 - How are you? - I'm good, how are you? 303 00:28:36,012 --> 00:28:37,472 Good. 304 00:28:39,341 --> 00:28:40,795 You look tired? 305 00:28:42,475 --> 00:28:44,437 Yes, a little, I am. 306 00:28:51,443 --> 00:28:54,195 - I hope you're hungry? - You cooked for me? 307 00:28:54,236 --> 00:28:56,948 - Oh, maybe. - Thank you. 308 00:29:09,001 --> 00:29:09,839 It looks amazing. 309 00:29:09,865 --> 00:29:12,278 I wanted something ready when you got here. 310 00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:14,622 - It's great. - Want some? 311 00:29:39,321 --> 00:29:41,864 You look so good in your suit. 312 00:29:41,906 --> 00:29:42,824 Thank you. 313 00:29:46,035 --> 00:29:47,036 Hey guess what? 314 00:29:48,075 --> 00:29:48,629 What? 315 00:29:48,825 --> 00:29:50,832 I'm fiinally gonna get my red jacket. 316 00:29:51,051 --> 00:29:52,246 - Really? - Yeah. 317 00:29:52,272 --> 00:29:54,819 - Congratulations baby! - Thank you. 318 00:30:00,063 --> 00:30:03,468 - I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 319 00:30:37,125 --> 00:30:39,313 - Feels good. - Yeah? 320 00:31:15,661 --> 00:31:17,610 I'm so sorry. 321 00:31:18,205 --> 00:31:19,581 What's wrong? 322 00:31:23,794 --> 00:31:25,774 It's been a rough couple of days, you know. 323 00:31:26,104 --> 00:31:26,864 Yeah. 324 00:31:28,047 --> 00:31:29,231 It's okay. 325 00:31:30,239 --> 00:31:31,697 It's okay. 326 00:31:32,301 --> 00:31:33,662 I'm so sorry. 327 00:31:35,888 --> 00:31:36,973 It's okay. 328 00:31:41,060 --> 00:31:44,915 - I think I'm too tired. - Yes I know. 329 00:31:53,863 --> 00:31:55,326 I love you. 330 00:34:22,592 --> 00:34:24,834 - Hey. - How are you? 331 00:34:24,987 --> 00:34:27,365 - Okay, and you? - Good, how's work? 332 00:34:27,826 --> 00:34:30,865 - It's good, how was your day? - Fantastic... 333 00:34:32,103 --> 00:34:34,040 - So much work. - Good, good. 334 00:34:34,066 --> 00:34:36,318 Do you want anything? 335 00:34:37,016 --> 00:34:40,514 I tell you in just a minute... This is such a nice surprise. 336 00:34:49,986 --> 00:34:51,529 Hey, what's up? 337 00:34:57,201 --> 00:34:59,060 You know I've always been honest with you. 338 00:35:00,371 --> 00:35:01,456 Yes. 339 00:35:08,503 --> 00:35:10,963 I don't think we should see each other for a while. 340 00:35:26,812 --> 00:35:28,022 Why? 341 00:35:30,232 --> 00:35:33,420 Cause I don't think I can give you what you need, right now. 342 00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:51,313 God, what is this? 343 00:35:53,587 --> 00:35:56,882 I mean, we have met your family. 344 00:35:56,908 --> 00:35:58,313 We did meet your parents. 345 00:36:03,888 --> 00:36:05,149 I know... 346 00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:07,935 I know, it's taken me a long time to get here, 347 00:36:07,961 --> 00:36:11,530 but I am here, with everthing that I am. 348 00:36:15,965 --> 00:36:18,222 You are everything that I ever wanted. 349 00:36:34,417 --> 00:36:36,689 It's always been you... 350 00:36:37,628 --> 00:36:39,292 who's been holding us back. 351 00:36:39,932 --> 00:36:41,466 - You know that? - I know that. 352 00:36:46,596 --> 00:36:48,556 I know what this is about. 353 00:36:54,151 --> 00:36:55,151 I know! 354 00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,276 You go... 355 00:37:04,534 --> 00:37:05,487 ..you go do... 356 00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:08,575 whatever it is, that you have to do. 357 00:37:11,785 --> 00:37:13,776 But I want you to know... 358 00:37:14,007 --> 00:37:14,687 that I ... 359 00:37:15,395 --> 00:37:16,637 I may not still be here, just 360 00:37:16,663 --> 00:37:18,594 waiting for you, when you get back. 361 00:37:28,551 --> 00:37:29,762 Please stay. 362 00:38:13,176 --> 00:38:15,185 He handles all the marketing. 363 00:38:16,299 --> 00:38:17,550 Can you hold on a second? 364 00:38:18,056 --> 00:38:21,519 Hey, I was wondering, do you think you need me around next week? 365 00:38:22,184 --> 00:38:24,061 You haven't really been here much, Rick. 366 00:38:24,103 --> 00:38:27,024 Right, but I was thinking about taking a writing vacatioin, 367 00:38:27,118 --> 00:38:30,235 I'm working on a story. I think you gonna love it 368 00:38:30,296 --> 00:38:34,176 - Okay, that'll work, yeah. - Great,l thank you. 369 00:38:34,314 --> 00:38:36,255 - Are you leaving now? - Yeah. 370 00:38:36,895 --> 00:38:37,973 Okay, fine. 371 00:38:38,408 --> 00:38:41,309 - Where are you gonna go? - Ehm... 372 00:38:41,599 --> 00:38:46,817 ♪ Here I make my solemn vow ♪ 373 00:38:47,677 --> 00:38:53,513 ♪ To Keep His light in front of me ♪ 374 00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:59,473 ♪ In spite of what the dark allows ♪ 375 00:38:59,681 --> 00:39:05,220 ♪ Of what harm comes unto me ♪ 376 00:39:23,073 --> 00:39:24,362 ...and the love in our heart. 377 00:39:24,386 --> 00:39:26,594 We say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. 378 00:39:26,620 --> 00:39:28,079 - Amen - Amen. 379 00:39:29,473 --> 00:39:31,338 - Dig in. - yammm... 380 00:39:32,708 --> 00:39:34,323 Peaches, you like sucking? 381 00:39:34,637 --> 00:39:36,151 Are you dipping? 382 00:39:36,372 --> 00:39:38,432 Dipping in the water? You like that? 383 00:39:39,131 --> 00:39:42,224 - This is realy good. - Yes? - Should cook every night. 384 00:39:42,259 --> 00:39:42,964 Thank you. 385 00:39:59,485 --> 00:40:00,651 What's the noise? 386 00:40:01,486 --> 00:40:05,114 - Are you expecting anybody? - No, you? - No 387 00:40:11,328 --> 00:40:12,955 What was that noise? 388 00:40:17,459 --> 00:40:18,418 Hi. 389 00:40:22,714 --> 00:40:24,947 - Is this a bad time? - Yes. 390 00:40:28,427 --> 00:40:29,679 What are you doing here? 391 00:40:30,377 --> 00:40:33,029 Why would you come to my house? How do you know where I live? 392 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,612 Explain yourself! 393 00:40:41,690 --> 00:40:45,609 - I got your address from Gloria. - Gloria. 394 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:47,303 Are you crazy? 395 00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:51,024 - Hi - Hi. 396 00:40:57,263 --> 00:40:58,585 - Hi - Hi. 397 00:40:59,155 --> 00:41:00,803 Are you gonna introduce me to your friend? 398 00:41:01,671 --> 00:41:05,499 - Yes. Honey, this is my friend RJ. - RJ, this is my wife, Emily. 399 00:41:05,577 --> 00:41:08,161 - Hi, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 400 00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:13,452 Thanks for stopping by. 401 00:41:14,576 --> 00:41:15,538 It was good to see you. 402 00:41:16,097 --> 00:41:16,597 Oh... 403 00:41:17,628 --> 00:41:21,948 Actually, we're having dinner. You're welcome to join us, if you'd like. 404 00:41:23,197 --> 00:41:24,596 Sure, yeah. 405 00:41:25,898 --> 00:41:28,996 - Yes, of course. - Thank you. 406 00:41:29,151 --> 00:41:32,053 - OK, come on in. - Thank you. 407 00:41:40,834 --> 00:41:42,060 - Thank you. - Yeah. 408 00:41:44,661 --> 00:41:47,739 So, ehm, RJ, how do you and Chris know each other? 409 00:41:49,295 --> 00:41:51,264 Well... that's a good question... 410 00:41:51,756 --> 00:41:53,820 Chris, would you like to, maybe... 411 00:41:57,992 --> 00:41:59,220 Yeah, ehm... 412 00:41:59,737 --> 00:42:02,442 RJ and I met, when I was on my mission in Clackamas Falls. 413 00:42:02,599 --> 00:42:06,630 - Really? - Mmm... - Well, it's wonderful. 414 00:42:06,665 --> 00:42:10,398 - RJ was my mission companion. - Wow. 415 00:42:11,505 --> 00:42:13,692 And, do you live here in Salt Lake City? 416 00:42:13,722 --> 00:42:17,552 - No, actually, I live in Seattle. - Seattle? 417 00:42:17,584 --> 00:42:20,304 - So, what brings you here? - I'm here for work. 418 00:42:20,509 --> 00:42:23,038 - What kind of work? - I am a writer. 419 00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:24,988 A writer? Wow! 420 00:42:25,014 --> 00:42:27,710 - Like for a magazine or... - Yeah, actually... 421 00:42:28,155 --> 00:42:30,947 - Magazine... Which magazine? - The Seattle Magazine. 422 00:42:32,103 --> 00:42:34,606 And they're doing a piece on Salt Lake City? 423 00:42:34,905 --> 00:42:37,172 No, no actually... 424 00:42:37,198 --> 00:42:40,827 the story I'm working on, has a little bit to do with the Salt Lake, so... 425 00:42:41,302 --> 00:42:44,429 I thought I'd come down here for some inspiration. 426 00:42:45,367 --> 00:42:48,700 - Great. - Mmm... - How long are you in town? 427 00:42:49,927 --> 00:42:53,754 I don't know. I guess until the story is finished. 428 00:42:56,374 --> 00:42:57,885 Where are you staying? 429 00:42:59,042 --> 00:43:00,473 Well, ehm... 430 00:43:02,864 --> 00:43:04,950 Okay, honey. 431 00:43:16,024 --> 00:43:17,303 I think it's her bedtime. 432 00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:21,423 I'm sorry, is it me? I'm so sorry, if it was me. 433 00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:24,502 Okay. 434 00:43:27,046 --> 00:43:28,199 Come. 435 00:43:29,170 --> 00:43:30,507 Let's go. 436 00:43:49,776 --> 00:43:51,450 - Hi - Hi. 437 00:43:54,704 --> 00:43:56,515 Why are you here? Why... 438 00:43:59,625 --> 00:44:02,083 You came to my house? 439 00:44:03,337 --> 00:44:06,597 - I just wanted to talk to you. - Ok 440 00:44:08,133 --> 00:44:09,384 Let's talk. 441 00:44:12,137 --> 00:44:15,071 - Maybe not now... - Yes, maybe not right now. 442 00:44:18,434 --> 00:44:21,891 - I'm so sorry. - Ok - She is really tired. 443 00:44:21,917 --> 00:44:23,202 - It's a little late. - Yeah. 444 00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,690 Anyway, what I... 445 00:44:25,967 --> 00:44:27,795 I don't have any place to stay yet, 446 00:44:27,821 --> 00:44:30,717 I think I might just go to a motel nearby, maybe? 447 00:44:30,778 --> 00:44:32,549 Oh, you don't need to do that. 448 00:44:32,575 --> 00:44:36,095 We have so much space. You can stay with us, if you'd like. 449 00:44:36,990 --> 00:44:38,442 - If you want. - Sure! 450 00:44:39,575 --> 00:44:42,723 Yeah, is that okay with you, Chris? 451 00:44:42,770 --> 00:44:45,209 Yeah, of course. 452 00:44:45,751 --> 00:44:48,418 You're more than welcome to stay, for the night, if you'd like. 453 00:44:48,489 --> 00:44:49,020 Great. 454 00:44:49,977 --> 00:44:52,247 You guys probably have a lot of catching up to do ? 455 00:44:52,273 --> 00:44:54,725 - Yeah! - We do. We do. 456 00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,025 This is you, at the end of the stairs. 457 00:44:58,347 --> 00:45:00,713 The bag looks heavy, I should help. 458 00:45:00,714 --> 00:45:01,558 No, it's okay. 459 00:45:01,849 --> 00:45:02,808 Alright. 460 00:45:03,847 --> 00:45:05,144 Here you go. 461 00:45:06,145 --> 00:45:08,648 - Thank you. - Yes of course. 462 00:45:09,194 --> 00:45:13,459 Well, you're probably super tired. So you know... 463 00:45:13,745 --> 00:45:15,495 If you need anything just let me know, okay? 464 00:45:15,521 --> 00:45:16,783 I will. Thank you so much. 465 00:45:16,809 --> 00:45:19,980 - Yeah, it's so nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 466 00:45:21,028 --> 00:45:23,805 - Well, have a good night. - You too. 467 00:45:23,831 --> 00:45:24,957 - Goodbye. - Bye. 468 00:46:04,909 --> 00:46:10,331 Meet me at Mercury Grove on North Canyon at 7am. Please. Chris. 469 00:46:21,046 --> 00:46:22,297 What are you doing? 470 00:46:24,594 --> 00:46:27,198 - Ricky, what are you doing? - I just want to talk. 471 00:46:28,448 --> 00:46:30,108 I do not want to talk about the mission. 472 00:46:30,222 --> 00:46:31,057 Okay. 473 00:46:31,558 --> 00:46:33,268 So let's talk about something else. 474 00:46:33,949 --> 00:46:36,087 - I like your jacket. - Thanks. 475 00:46:39,285 --> 00:46:39,785 RJ. 476 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:42,259 I'm married. 477 00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,862 - And I'm living honorably. - Okay. 478 00:46:45,735 --> 00:46:47,808 I didn't mean to interfere with you. 479 00:46:48,110 --> 00:46:49,361 It's too late for that. 480 00:46:51,968 --> 00:46:53,678 Don't you think it's a little crazy? 481 00:46:54,077 --> 00:46:56,093 You showing up out of nowhere, like this? 482 00:46:56,119 --> 00:46:59,486 Yes it is, but going to Clackamas Falls 483 00:47:00,002 --> 00:47:03,213 And Rodney dying and seeing you again. 484 00:47:04,110 --> 00:47:04,689 It's just... 485 00:47:05,166 --> 00:47:06,800 it sparked something in me. 486 00:47:07,818 --> 00:47:09,987 And all of a sudden, I'm 20 years old, 487 00:47:10,449 --> 00:47:12,387 And you walked into my life. 488 00:47:13,707 --> 00:47:17,448 And years of confusion and shame jusst disappear. 489 00:47:18,352 --> 00:47:20,149 Because I found somebody. 490 00:47:21,895 --> 00:47:24,886 That knows me, that understands me. 491 00:47:24,912 --> 00:47:26,255 I can't find that anywhere else. 492 00:47:26,271 --> 00:47:27,768 It comes close, but... 493 00:47:28,487 --> 00:47:29,738 It's not the same. 494 00:47:31,427 --> 00:47:32,966 And then, suddenly I'm here. 495 00:47:36,633 --> 00:47:38,787 Why did you cut me out of your life, Chris? 496 00:47:39,543 --> 00:47:40,830 I had no choice. 497 00:47:41,464 --> 00:47:44,134 All I want, is to be a part of your life. 498 00:47:44,308 --> 00:47:46,751 - That's not possible. - I'm sorry to hear that. 499 00:47:47,547 --> 00:47:49,494 I have a meeting to go to. 500 00:47:51,922 --> 00:47:53,338 You still go to church RJ? 501 00:47:53,668 --> 00:47:55,557 No, regretfully I don't. 502 00:47:56,263 --> 00:47:57,681 Well, you should. 503 00:47:58,711 --> 00:48:00,712 What are you doing, Chris? What do you mean? 504 00:48:00,738 --> 00:48:02,839 We spent a year of our lives together. 505 00:48:03,287 --> 00:48:04,529 We made love. 506 00:48:04,877 --> 00:48:07,404 We fell in love. You're not straight! 507 00:48:07,754 --> 00:48:09,433 - I feel sorry for you. - Why? 508 00:48:09,949 --> 00:48:12,153 Because you are living a life of sin. 509 00:48:12,527 --> 00:48:14,155 And you are obsessing 510 00:48:14,197 --> 00:48:16,414 over something that never should have happened ! 511 00:48:17,241 --> 00:48:18,878 It was a phase ! 512 00:48:21,244 --> 00:48:23,347 The Lord has declared that no unclean thing 513 00:48:23,373 --> 00:48:25,188 shall inherit the Kingdom of Heavens. 514 00:48:25,576 --> 00:48:28,341 Our sin makes us unclean. 515 00:48:28,855 --> 00:48:31,858 Unworthy to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father. 516 00:48:31,884 --> 00:48:33,875 Verily, verily, I say onto you... 517 00:48:33,907 --> 00:48:36,039 woe be unto him that lieth to deceive 518 00:48:36,095 --> 00:48:38,661 because he supposeth that another lieth to deceive 519 00:48:38,904 --> 00:48:42,705 for such are not exempt from the justice of God. 520 00:48:42,731 --> 00:48:44,497 You are living a lie. 521 00:48:44,582 --> 00:48:46,666 And you brought your entire family into it. 522 00:48:46,712 --> 00:48:48,884 How dare you bring my family into this? 523 00:48:49,278 --> 00:48:50,633 Chris, I don't want to fight, 524 00:48:50,659 --> 00:48:52,764 I didn't come all this way, to end things like this. 525 00:48:52,790 --> 00:48:55,207 - But I'm worried about you. - You're worried about me? 526 00:48:55,915 --> 00:49:00,760 This coming from a guy, who traveled 800 miles, uninvited! 527 00:49:04,118 --> 00:49:05,744 I'm more worried about you. 528 00:49:06,735 --> 00:49:09,274 Good, it shows that you care. 529 00:49:09,605 --> 00:49:11,198 I've always cared about you. 530 00:49:11,723 --> 00:49:13,237 Did you ever care about me? 531 00:49:15,110 --> 00:49:17,696 - Chris, Chris! - What? 532 00:49:20,765 --> 00:49:22,363 I'm gonna be here for a few days. 533 00:49:24,845 --> 00:49:26,921 If you want to talk, just get a hold of me 534 00:51:21,539 --> 00:51:23,733 - Hello? - Hi 535 00:51:35,468 --> 00:51:37,137 - Hey. - Hey. 536 00:51:42,553 --> 00:51:44,132 What are you doing? 537 00:51:44,342 --> 00:51:46,710 You can't eat rice with chopsticks. I don't know how they.. 538 00:51:46,811 --> 00:51:48,693 Just eat it with a fork. 539 00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:51,553 - I didn't see that. - Thank you. 540 00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:54,026 Here we go. 541 00:51:59,282 --> 00:52:01,955 It's easier with broccoli and beef, I'm just saying... 542 00:52:02,827 --> 00:52:04,620 It's okay, your trial with rice. 543 00:52:10,654 --> 00:52:13,949 - I read through one of your books. - Oh really? - Yes. 544 00:52:15,171 --> 00:52:16,631 Whichj one? 545 00:52:19,009 --> 00:52:22,461 I don't even know. I'm sorry. It's embarassing 546 00:52:22,487 --> 00:52:23,595 No, it's okay. 547 00:52:25,431 --> 00:52:28,517 It was very eloquently written, what I did read. 548 00:52:28,808 --> 00:52:30,927 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 549 00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:39,627 Do you remember... 550 00:52:41,362 --> 00:52:42,908 when we first met Rodney? 551 00:52:43,151 --> 00:52:44,065 Yeah. 552 00:52:46,659 --> 00:52:48,953 He was just smoking pot... 553 00:52:48,995 --> 00:52:51,789 in front of a couple of missionaries. 554 00:52:52,045 --> 00:52:53,666 - And no shame. - Like you do. 555 00:52:53,903 --> 00:52:55,131 Like you do. 556 00:52:56,543 --> 00:52:57,897 And that apartment... 557 00:52:58,319 --> 00:53:01,584 It just smelled of beer, and mildew and... 558 00:53:01,798 --> 00:53:04,502 And urine. yeah, little bit of urine. 559 00:53:04,528 --> 00:53:06,996 I think I saw a live possum in his kitchen. 560 00:53:07,012 --> 00:53:08,168 I saw a dead one. 561 00:53:08,347 --> 00:53:10,389 I think it was the same one. 562 00:53:12,867 --> 00:53:13,903 He was really good. 563 00:53:13,929 --> 00:53:16,521 - Yes,he was a character. - Definitely. 564 00:53:17,855 --> 00:53:21,943 - Those were good times - Yeah, they were. 565 00:53:23,869 --> 00:53:24,579 So,,, 566 00:53:26,487 --> 00:53:29,323 the last time I saw you... 567 00:53:30,534 --> 00:53:33,745 you were the epitomy of a collegiate wrestler. 568 00:53:34,955 --> 00:53:38,229 - Not so much anymore - But you look the same though. 569 00:53:38,331 --> 00:53:39,011 Thank you. 570 00:53:39,626 --> 00:53:41,483 I mean, I lead a simple life. 571 00:53:41,509 --> 00:53:44,514 You know, I go to work... I come home and... 572 00:53:45,089 --> 00:53:47,343 Paul was there all the time. 573 00:53:47,983 --> 00:53:49,815 We were home buddies. 574 00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:51,936 You were ? 575 00:53:54,908 --> 00:53:55,780 Yeah. 576 00:53:57,108 --> 00:53:58,163 I'm sorry. 577 00:54:01,059 --> 00:54:05,029 And I'm sorry about what I said earlier. 578 00:54:05,976 --> 00:54:09,104 - Were both angry... - I was very angry. 579 00:54:09,153 --> 00:54:12,239 It's fine. Fifty-fifty. 580 00:54:14,613 --> 00:54:16,096 So, what about you? 581 00:54:16,785 --> 00:54:19,621 How's life as a pharmaceutical rep? 582 00:54:19,663 --> 00:54:20,747 I hate it. 583 00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:25,752 It's an atrocious job, that pays very well. 584 00:54:26,419 --> 00:54:28,337 So, why don't you do something else? 585 00:54:29,936 --> 00:54:31,733 When I figure out,what I want to do, I'll... 586 00:54:33,101 --> 00:54:34,886 stop being a pharmaceutical rep. 587 00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:39,729 It seems some time, to figure out, what that is. 588 00:54:39,755 --> 00:54:40,975 Yes. 589 00:54:41,017 --> 00:54:42,245 You will ... 590 00:54:43,589 --> 00:54:45,018 You'll figure it out. 591 00:54:45,562 --> 00:54:46,605 Yes. 592 00:54:52,058 --> 00:54:53,448 You know, it's funny when... 593 00:54:54,019 --> 00:54:55,175 you're younger... 594 00:54:55,878 --> 00:54:58,199 you just assume that life is gonna... 595 00:54:58,479 --> 00:55:01,577 line up, and make sense, at some point. 596 00:55:02,786 --> 00:55:05,039 You have this vision... 597 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,304 of what you want your life to be. 598 00:55:07,728 --> 00:55:10,968 Mission, family, job, ehm... 599 00:55:14,706 --> 00:55:16,401 You create this idea 600 00:55:16,682 --> 00:55:18,715 of what you want your life to be like. 601 00:55:19,847 --> 00:55:22,022 You create these images in your head. 602 00:55:25,005 --> 00:55:26,563 And as you go along, 603 00:55:27,516 --> 00:55:29,892 these images shatter. 604 00:55:33,458 --> 00:55:35,898 As if they were nothing. 605 00:55:39,042 --> 00:55:41,447 They're so easily inceived. 606 00:55:41,542 --> 00:55:43,768 and so easily broken. 607 00:55:47,286 --> 00:55:49,991 And all you have left to do, is just... 608 00:55:50,017 --> 00:55:53,103 to accept life. 609 00:55:55,795 --> 00:55:57,495 Just the way it is. 610 00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,752 Life is a journey, isn't it RJ? 611 00:56:15,271 --> 00:56:16,313 Uh-huh. 612 00:56:21,068 --> 00:56:23,038 I should probably get going. 613 00:56:24,581 --> 00:56:27,575 - Yeah. - ehm, this was fun. 614 00:56:29,284 --> 00:56:30,618 Yes it was. 615 00:56:31,717 --> 00:56:34,643 And ehm, if I don't see you again... 616 00:56:35,374 --> 00:56:36,663 I just want you to know that... 617 00:56:37,030 --> 00:56:38,600 I'm really glad, we did this. 618 00:56:39,510 --> 00:56:40,565 Me too. 619 00:56:56,458 --> 00:56:59,021 - You'll be welcome... - No, no. 620 00:57:06,203 --> 00:57:09,043 I guess, this is the closure I came here for. 621 00:57:09,853 --> 00:57:11,501 It's not what I wanted. 622 00:57:11,944 --> 00:57:13,904 But maybe this is all there is. 623 00:57:29,548 --> 00:57:33,439 - This is wonderful, Emily. - It really is. - Thank you. 624 00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:35,548 She's trying to make me fat? 625 00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:37,728 - No. - Right. 626 00:57:37,853 --> 00:57:40,314 Says the guy who gets up at 4:30 every morning to work out. 627 00:57:42,833 --> 00:57:45,005 So, how are sales? 628 00:57:45,945 --> 00:57:47,197 Good, can't complain. 629 00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:50,118 I think, the toughest part of my job is, 630 00:57:50,182 --> 00:57:52,206 I travel so much and I'm away from my girl. 631 00:57:53,159 --> 00:57:54,411 You work so hard. 632 00:57:55,318 --> 00:57:57,032 But he's got the next two weeks off. 633 00:57:57,242 --> 00:57:58,929 So, I've got him all to myself. 634 00:57:59,517 --> 00:58:01,124 - About time. - Yeah. 635 00:58:01,775 --> 00:58:03,769 I don't know how you do it, with all the... 636 00:58:04,351 --> 00:58:07,058 hotels, airports... 637 00:58:07,084 --> 00:58:08,262 How do you sleep? 638 00:58:08,371 --> 00:58:09,898 I get used to them. 639 00:58:15,338 --> 00:58:17,312 So, I don't know about you, but... 640 00:58:17,757 --> 00:58:19,281 I could use a little bit of dessert. 641 00:58:20,513 --> 00:58:23,808 Honey, how about you and Emily go to the store and get some ice cream? 642 00:58:24,058 --> 00:58:26,513 Chris and I can chat about a few matters of the Church. 643 00:58:28,043 --> 00:58:29,253 Sounds like a great idea. 644 00:58:29,647 --> 00:58:34,082 - I wouldn't mind ice cream. - Sure, yes sir. 645 00:58:38,495 --> 00:58:39,746 I'll miss you. 646 00:58:46,438 --> 00:58:48,606 Ehm, any particular flavor? 647 00:58:50,124 --> 00:58:52,370 - How about vanilla. - Yeah, vanilla is great. 648 00:58:52,675 --> 00:58:53,717 Okay. 649 00:59:02,339 --> 00:59:05,525 I'm glad we finally have an opportunity to be alone and chat 650 00:59:06,681 --> 00:59:08,850 Yeah. Yeah, me too. 651 00:59:12,272 --> 00:59:16,232 You know, I think you're a man that really seems to have it all figured out. 652 00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:18,122 Thank you. 653 00:59:20,839 --> 00:59:24,176 Chris, do you consider yourself to be openminded? 654 00:59:26,745 --> 00:59:30,178 Yes, yes... for the most part. 655 00:59:31,424 --> 00:59:33,991 Cause there's something, I like to show you, if that's okay. 656 00:59:34,582 --> 00:59:37,335 - Ok . - Great. 657 00:59:38,319 --> 00:59:40,780 Great, now before I begin, 658 00:59:41,092 --> 00:59:42,952 I wanna ask you to... 659 00:59:43,633 --> 00:59:48,276 try to suspend the way you normally read Scripture? 660 00:59:50,048 --> 00:59:51,431 Try to listen to this with... 661 00:59:51,915 --> 00:59:53,120 a delicate touch: 662 00:59:55,519 --> 00:59:57,076 This is ehm... 663 00:59:57,854 --> 01:00:00,309 not something I can bring up to anyone. 664 01:00:00,575 --> 01:00:03,027 which is why I'd rather discuss it with someone like you. 665 01:00:03,609 --> 01:00:06,111 - No problem. - Okay 666 01:00:09,323 --> 01:00:12,618 Chris, today I'd like to talk about Andrew. 667 01:00:12,952 --> 01:00:15,454 Now, who was Andrew? 668 01:00:16,197 --> 01:00:18,195 He was an apostle. 669 01:00:19,043 --> 01:00:21,616 - He's the brother of Simon-Peter. - Right. 670 01:00:21,918 --> 01:00:24,324 Now, we don't know very much about Andrew. 671 01:00:24,629 --> 01:00:27,027 But tonight, let's allow Andrew to take our hand... 672 01:00:27,368 --> 01:00:30,413 and lead us to the Gospel of John, Chapter 13 673 01:00:32,817 --> 01:00:35,846 Jesus Christ says to his disciples: 674 01:00:36,014 --> 01:00:40,052 Most assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray me. 675 01:00:41,687 --> 01:00:45,546 The disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom he spoke. 676 01:00:47,276 --> 01:00:50,289 One of his disciples, the one, who Jesus loved, 677 01:00:51,111 --> 01:00:52,822 Was lying on his chest. 678 01:00:53,664 --> 01:00:57,132 Simon Peter therefore motioned to him, to ask Jesus 679 01:00:57,466 --> 01:00:59,390 of whom he was speaking. 680 01:01:00,246 --> 01:01:03,312 So, while lying next to Christ, he asked: 681 01:01:03,708 --> 01:01:05,578 Lord, who is it? 682 01:01:07,121 --> 01:01:10,879 So, the Lord, sitting among the other disciples, 683 01:01:11,981 --> 01:01:13,853 while the one he loved, 684 01:01:14,551 --> 01:01:17,089 lies on the heart of Christ. 685 01:01:18,930 --> 01:01:20,181 On his chest. 686 01:01:25,060 --> 01:01:27,570 After dinner Jesus disrobes 687 01:01:27,855 --> 01:01:29,649 and pours water into a basin 688 01:01:30,125 --> 01:01:32,566 and begins to wash the disciples' feet. 689 01:01:34,069 --> 01:01:37,128 There's nothing more gentle and holy... 690 01:01:37,671 --> 01:01:39,687 then washing another's feet. 691 01:01:40,136 --> 01:01:43,046 Aaron... can I... 692 01:01:43,486 --> 01:01:45,864 interject there for a moment... 693 01:01:47,407 --> 01:01:49,690 - I do not know... - Just hold on, hold on. 694 01:01:49,783 --> 01:01:51,408 - Hear me out. - Alright. 695 01:01:52,211 --> 01:01:54,796 I spent a lot of time thinking about this. 696 01:01:55,007 --> 01:01:57,478 And I can't see it any other way, then how it's written. 697 01:01:58,114 --> 01:02:01,421 There is a tenderness in these words. 698 01:02:01,803 --> 01:02:05,311 Christ loves these men dearly, and one above all. 699 01:02:06,073 --> 01:02:08,542 And when he touches them... 700 01:02:09,261 --> 01:02:12,522 It is a delicate and beautiful act of kindness... 701 01:02:12,982 --> 01:02:13,982 And love. 702 01:02:15,550 --> 01:02:18,110 And while others may say, that... 703 01:02:18,590 --> 01:02:20,335 by loving his disciples, 704 01:02:20,944 --> 01:02:23,180 Jesus fell in love with humanity. 705 01:02:23,514 --> 01:02:25,663 I can explain to you, why I believe... 706 01:02:25,841 --> 01:02:27,788 That this Scripture does not refer... 707 01:02:27,905 --> 01:02:31,417 to a call, to a love for human kind. 708 01:02:32,177 --> 01:02:33,423 But instead, 709 01:02:34,141 --> 01:02:36,526 refers more specifically to his love 710 01:02:36,626 --> 01:02:38,604 - of any... - You can stop right there. 711 01:02:38,866 --> 01:02:41,067 I know what you're trying to insinuate, 712 01:02:41,093 --> 01:02:42,742 and frankly, I don't like it. 713 01:02:43,926 --> 01:02:46,512 - Chris, I'm just being... - That's enough! 714 01:02:49,279 --> 01:02:52,080 Okay, okay. 715 01:02:53,418 --> 01:02:55,631 I didn't mean to make you angry. 716 01:02:56,421 --> 01:02:57,619 I'm sorry. 717 01:03:00,209 --> 01:03:02,233 Chris, I think you and I, are a lot alike. 718 01:03:03,163 --> 01:03:06,242 - I too am struggling. - I'm not struggling. 719 01:03:10,617 --> 01:03:11,618 Okay. 720 01:03:13,114 --> 01:03:16,791 I went to a small highschool in Arizona. 721 01:03:17,100 --> 01:03:20,103 This kid transferred in to sophomore year. 722 01:03:20,618 --> 01:03:24,030 and he wasn't exactly popular. They called him "the narc". 723 01:03:24,497 --> 01:03:27,141 He was always telltaling, he was just obnoxious. 724 01:03:28,397 --> 01:03:30,725 He was very devoted to Christ, however. 725 01:03:30,925 --> 01:03:32,648 We bonded, in that sense. 726 01:03:32,823 --> 01:03:34,783 Over time, we became good friends. 727 01:03:34,809 --> 01:03:36,377 Great friends even. 728 01:03:36,932 --> 01:03:38,701 And when the other kids would say to me: 729 01:03:38,727 --> 01:03:41,651 Why do you spend time with that guy? I did not care. 730 01:03:42,366 --> 01:03:45,232 Because in his heart, he was a good man. 731 01:03:48,612 --> 01:03:51,951 His name was Marshall Harris. 732 01:03:54,530 --> 01:03:56,761 Your zone leader, when you were on the mission. 733 01:03:59,501 --> 01:04:03,546 Chris, I know what happened in Oregon with your mission companion. 734 01:04:04,241 --> 01:04:06,404 And I don't judge you for it. 735 01:04:10,236 --> 01:04:12,416 I know your struggle, and... 736 01:04:12,759 --> 01:04:14,330 I know it well. 737 01:04:14,878 --> 01:04:16,129 And I want you to know 738 01:04:16,271 --> 01:04:18,998 we can help one another, through this. 739 01:04:19,224 --> 01:04:21,990 Let me help you through this. 740 01:04:23,290 --> 01:04:27,084 No temptation has seized you, except what is common to men. 741 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,803 And we need not be ashamed. 742 01:04:31,797 --> 01:04:32,751 Get out. 743 01:04:34,324 --> 01:04:39,442 - I care about you, Chris. - Get out of my house! 744 01:04:47,712 --> 01:04:49,685 We got bananas and raspberries. 745 01:04:49,974 --> 01:04:50,994 To make splits. 746 01:04:54,928 --> 01:04:56,178 Is everything okay? 747 01:04:59,192 --> 01:05:03,624 I suddenly lost my appetite for ice cream, Emily. 748 01:05:03,723 --> 01:05:04,719 I'm sorry. 749 01:05:07,468 --> 01:05:08,719 I'll be seeing you, Chris. 750 01:05:10,247 --> 01:05:11,431 Goodbye, Emily. 751 01:05:19,505 --> 01:05:20,695 What happened? 752 01:05:22,739 --> 01:05:23,661 He ehm... 753 01:05:24,895 --> 01:05:26,263 He wasn't feeling well. 754 01:05:28,068 --> 01:05:29,583 I'm gonna get ready for bed. 755 01:05:52,946 --> 01:05:55,031 That's a ladybug on a leaf. 756 01:05:56,419 --> 01:05:58,155 - Hey sweety. - Hey. 757 01:05:59,768 --> 01:06:02,497 Hey ehm, what time are you and RJ getting together? 758 01:06:03,064 --> 01:06:05,780 Around three, I think. 759 01:06:06,306 --> 01:06:09,790 Okay, so I call Kirsten and have her come just a little earlier. 760 01:06:09,816 --> 01:06:13,110 I won't be around tonight. I have to help setup for the debut. 761 01:06:13,614 --> 01:06:15,517 What's happening tonight? 762 01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:19,868 It's my red jacket debut. 763 01:06:20,939 --> 01:06:23,039 Congratulations again baby. It's great. 764 01:06:24,028 --> 01:06:26,474 Isn't that a rabbit? What is that? 765 01:06:26,610 --> 01:06:27,694 Thank you. 766 01:06:31,799 --> 01:06:32,799 Um... 767 01:06:33,321 --> 01:06:36,099 Did you call the catering company? 768 01:06:36,446 --> 01:06:41,499 Ask them to add 2 more tables, and the china and the flowers, like Ida ? 769 01:06:42,120 --> 01:06:42,828 No. 770 01:06:44,071 --> 01:06:46,638 No, I completely forgot. I'm sorry. 771 01:06:48,591 --> 01:06:51,324 - Honey, it's your parents anniversary. - Yes I know! 772 01:06:51,630 --> 01:06:53,716 I just forgot, and I'm sorry. 773 01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:55,325 I'll get on it. 774 01:06:57,005 --> 01:06:57,942 Yes, okay. 775 01:06:59,390 --> 01:06:59,932 Okay. 776 01:07:00,918 --> 01:07:01,918 Thank you. 777 01:07:27,934 --> 01:07:29,497 I'd like to level with you. 778 01:07:30,208 --> 01:07:31,123 Okay. 779 01:07:33,213 --> 01:07:34,302 I'm sorry ... 780 01:07:35,497 --> 01:07:36,772 for abandoning you. 781 01:07:40,246 --> 01:07:42,111 I'm sorry for the way I treated you. 782 01:07:44,383 --> 01:07:45,627 That was cruel. 783 01:07:49,154 --> 01:07:52,763 And I'm sorry for not responding to any of your letters, or phone calls. 784 01:07:58,611 --> 01:07:59,861 I received them all. 785 01:08:00,603 --> 01:08:01,723 Your letters. 786 01:08:02,807 --> 01:08:04,849 And they touched me, deeply. 787 01:08:06,111 --> 01:08:07,781 But I couldn't respond. 788 01:08:13,661 --> 01:08:15,888 I truly loved... 789 01:08:16,307 --> 01:08:18,144 the time, that we spent together. 790 01:08:19,740 --> 01:08:21,912 But once I returned home, 791 01:08:27,465 --> 01:08:29,729 I felt my father's shadow. 792 01:08:30,427 --> 01:08:32,887 And his position and the high authority, 793 01:08:32,913 --> 01:08:34,441 looming over me. 794 01:08:36,411 --> 01:08:37,663 Like a cloud. 795 01:08:40,475 --> 01:08:43,017 He recommended that I go to reparative therapy. 796 01:08:46,347 --> 01:08:47,015 Which I did. 797 01:08:51,852 --> 01:08:55,446 And eventually... I was deemed worthy enough to continue... 798 01:08:55,846 --> 01:08:57,577 my service to the church. 799 01:09:02,666 --> 01:09:04,077 And then I met Emily. 800 01:09:07,218 --> 01:09:12,647 And we had this amazing, intense connection. 801 01:09:15,402 --> 01:09:18,809 And I thought: "Finally, a cure." 802 01:09:23,066 --> 01:09:24,691 I sincerely believed... 803 01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:28,946 that, if I got married, that I would be given the strength... 804 01:09:29,151 --> 01:09:30,812 to overcome this. 805 01:09:34,030 --> 01:09:37,570 But every time I see a man that I'm attracted to, 806 01:09:38,433 --> 01:09:41,706 it's like something inside of me is screaming, 807 01:09:42,157 --> 01:09:43,671 to get out! 808 01:09:45,654 --> 01:09:50,366 There is this message, that is sent and received. 809 01:09:51,224 --> 01:09:52,243 Instantly. 810 01:10:00,986 --> 01:10:03,295 I am a religious man, RJ. 811 01:10:03,907 --> 01:10:05,142 I know you are. 812 01:10:09,259 --> 01:10:10,908 But I feel forsaken. 813 01:10:16,592 --> 01:10:19,704 I have so much pain, in my heart. 814 01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:24,982 And I just deal with it. 815 01:10:28,319 --> 01:10:29,946 It feels as if there's... 816 01:10:30,228 --> 01:10:30,728 this... 817 01:10:31,030 --> 01:10:34,665 axe, that is thrust into my chest... 818 01:10:38,595 --> 01:10:40,663 This pain. 819 01:10:40,775 --> 01:10:43,095 The fasting, the prayers... 820 01:10:43,261 --> 01:10:46,181 It consumes my life. 821 01:10:47,878 --> 01:10:49,169 And there is... 822 01:10:49,922 --> 01:10:53,050 little energy left, for anything else. 823 01:11:01,433 --> 01:11:04,727 I am not living honorably. 824 01:11:08,518 --> 01:11:09,635 Chris, I feel so... 825 01:11:10,381 --> 01:11:11,940 I care so much... 826 01:11:12,983 --> 01:11:13,850 about you. 827 01:11:16,516 --> 01:11:17,611 Look at me. 828 01:11:19,241 --> 01:11:21,295 There is nothing wrong with us. 829 01:11:22,745 --> 01:11:24,159 We're just victims... 830 01:11:24,698 --> 01:11:26,917 Of a culture that doesn't accept us. 831 01:11:51,189 --> 01:11:52,541 May I touch you? 832 01:12:07,870 --> 01:12:10,080 That face... 833 01:12:13,750 --> 01:12:15,659 I've seen you in my dreams. 834 01:12:30,975 --> 01:12:33,174 What? I'm sorry. 835 01:12:34,116 --> 01:12:35,092 I'm sorry. 836 01:12:36,563 --> 01:12:38,510 I thought that's what you wanted. 837 01:12:40,741 --> 01:12:41,779 It is. 838 01:12:52,661 --> 01:12:54,155 What do you want me to do? 839 01:12:56,921 --> 01:12:57,713 You see... 840 01:12:59,349 --> 01:13:00,934 I missed you. 841 01:13:03,964 --> 01:13:05,955 I missed you too. 842 01:13:21,355 --> 01:13:23,619 I wanted this for so long. 843 01:13:29,567 --> 01:13:31,818 This I pledge, as a "Star Recruiter". 844 01:13:31,951 --> 01:13:33,975 This I pledge, as a "Star Recruiter". 845 01:13:34,068 --> 01:13:36,447 To live, by the Golden Rule Philosophy. 846 01:13:36,456 --> 01:13:38,617 To live, by the Golden Rule Philosophy. 847 01:13:38,643 --> 01:13:40,994 To encourage and support my team members. 848 01:13:41,003 --> 01:13:43,219 To encourage and support my team members. 849 01:13:43,245 --> 01:13:46,529 This I pledge, as a brand new "Star Recruiter". 850 01:13:46,530 --> 01:13:49,517 This I pledge, as a brand new "Star Recruiter". 851 01:13:49,542 --> 01:13:52,294 Excellent. Give a round of applause, ladies and gents. 852 01:21:18,676 --> 01:21:21,137 So right now I have a special... 853 01:21:21,179 --> 01:21:24,406 for you, it's fifty percent off any product, 854 01:21:24,432 --> 01:21:28,031 when you spend $ 40 or more on beauty essential products. 855 01:21:28,978 --> 01:21:30,465 Which is really good. 856 01:21:33,181 --> 01:21:36,937 You had mentioned a lipstick you wanted to try? 857 01:21:36,963 --> 01:21:38,618 - Sure. - Okay. 858 01:21:46,434 --> 01:21:48,677 Are you alright, dear? 859 01:21:56,174 --> 01:21:57,067 Honey? 860 01:22:01,786 --> 01:22:03,966 Can I help you with something? 861 01:22:10,266 --> 01:22:11,329 Dear? 862 01:22:19,110 --> 01:22:20,087 Hey, baby. 863 01:22:33,081 --> 01:22:35,000 Have you been sitting here since I left? 864 01:22:37,243 --> 01:22:38,424 Where were you? 865 01:22:41,342 --> 01:22:42,889 Were you with RJ? 866 01:22:44,448 --> 01:22:45,550 Yeah. 867 01:22:48,593 --> 01:22:50,581 You think I'm such a fool. 868 01:22:51,698 --> 01:22:53,104 What are you talking about? 869 01:22:54,804 --> 01:22:55,682 Come on. 870 01:22:58,373 --> 01:23:00,295 I know what you've been doing. 871 01:23:04,900 --> 01:23:07,577 My heart is broken, Chris. 872 01:23:13,792 --> 01:23:15,659 And I think I've always known. 873 01:23:17,600 --> 01:23:20,081 But I hid it in the back of my mind, because... 874 01:23:20,525 --> 01:23:22,457 I thought, I could trust you. 875 01:23:27,083 --> 01:23:29,120 You need to come clean. 876 01:23:31,261 --> 01:23:34,284 - You need to be honest with me. - What's wrong? 877 01:23:38,640 --> 01:23:43,190 - I saw you. Chris. - You saw what? 878 01:23:47,399 --> 01:23:49,813 And you call yourself a man of faith ? 879 01:23:56,133 --> 01:23:57,678 I saw you... 880 01:23:58,588 --> 01:24:01,229 with your friend RJ. 881 01:24:01,947 --> 01:24:04,610 At that hotel, just ten blocks from here. 882 01:24:09,391 --> 01:24:11,060 You kissed him. 883 01:24:12,273 --> 01:24:13,928 The way you kiss me. 884 01:24:20,811 --> 01:24:22,170 I'm so stupid. 885 01:24:24,128 --> 01:24:26,065 Because all the signs were there. 886 01:24:27,180 --> 01:24:30,434 They were just there... and I ignored them. 887 01:24:32,067 --> 01:24:33,663 - I'm so stupid. - No. 888 01:24:35,659 --> 01:24:36,338 No. 889 01:24:42,549 --> 01:24:45,432 God only knows, what you do, when you're out, travelling for work. 890 01:24:46,261 --> 01:24:49,098 In one city after the next, staying in hotels, 891 01:24:49,131 --> 01:24:50,576 meeting strangers. 892 01:24:51,606 --> 01:24:54,197 - Have there been others? - No. 893 01:24:57,697 --> 01:24:59,056 I don't believe you. 894 01:25:00,287 --> 01:25:02,873 - I don't believe a word you say. No one? - Emily. 895 01:25:05,086 --> 01:25:06,712 There's been nobody else. 896 01:25:11,289 --> 01:25:13,884 Have you been going to see him in Seattle? 897 01:25:14,596 --> 01:25:15,213 No. 898 01:25:17,027 --> 01:25:18,767 I haven't seen him since my mission. 899 01:25:20,274 --> 01:25:21,485 Since your mission. 900 01:25:22,341 --> 01:25:23,134 Hmm... 901 01:25:26,707 --> 01:25:28,582 I couldn't imagine what that was like. 902 01:25:31,371 --> 01:25:33,290 What about me and Kelly? 903 01:25:34,666 --> 01:25:37,059 - Has that thought ever crossed your mind? - Yes 904 01:25:39,963 --> 01:25:41,488 Yes, of course. 905 01:25:44,887 --> 01:25:46,879 I'm so sorry, Emily. 906 01:25:58,181 --> 01:25:59,841 Can we pray this away ? 907 01:26:02,298 --> 01:26:04,227 It's the last thing we can do. 908 01:26:05,006 --> 01:26:06,923 I will do, whatever it takes. 909 01:26:08,366 --> 01:26:10,528 But you have to stop this. 910 01:26:12,372 --> 01:26:13,523 I need you. 911 01:26:14,930 --> 01:26:16,907 I need you. Chris. 912 01:26:20,966 --> 01:26:22,009 What do we do? 913 01:26:32,528 --> 01:26:34,466 What can I not give you... 914 01:26:35,028 --> 01:26:36,098 that he can? 915 01:26:36,180 --> 01:26:37,717 Please don't ask me that! 916 01:26:42,055 --> 01:26:43,945 I have been devoted to you. 917 01:26:44,621 --> 01:26:45,942 And this family. 918 01:26:47,098 --> 01:26:49,444 The feelings that I have for him... 919 01:26:50,817 --> 01:26:52,594 I can never have for a woman. 920 01:26:56,707 --> 01:26:58,981 Seeing him again, brought everything back. 921 01:27:02,332 --> 01:27:03,712 And I have tried, 922 01:27:04,832 --> 01:27:07,688 to become something, that I thought I was supposed to be. 923 01:27:07,912 --> 01:27:09,078 But I can't. 924 01:27:12,074 --> 01:27:13,254 I failed you. 925 01:27:15,969 --> 01:27:17,195 I failed you. 926 01:27:25,393 --> 01:27:27,144 I don't know what to do with that. 927 01:27:34,233 --> 01:27:35,985 I will not accept that. 928 01:27:39,422 --> 01:27:41,711 You made a promise to me. 929 01:27:42,579 --> 01:27:44,098 For eternity. 930 01:27:48,201 --> 01:27:49,840 Is that what you want, Chris? 931 01:27:51,319 --> 01:27:52,715 A life without me? 932 01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:02,263 Destroying me? 933 01:28:04,055 --> 01:28:05,451 Destroying us? 934 01:28:19,008 --> 01:28:20,880 If that's what you want, Chris... 935 01:28:29,040 --> 01:28:30,533 You have to tell your family. 936 01:28:35,020 --> 01:28:36,603 And tell them what? 937 01:28:39,228 --> 01:28:40,204 The truth. 938 01:29:14,474 --> 01:29:15,566 Hey guys. 939 01:29:16,360 --> 01:29:18,312 - Come on in. - How are you darling? 940 01:29:18,742 --> 01:29:19,508 Good. 941 01:29:23,666 --> 01:29:24,599 Have a seat, please. 942 01:29:29,732 --> 01:29:33,106 So, what's the big news, guys? 943 01:29:33,573 --> 01:29:35,433 We're still waiting on one person. 944 01:29:37,059 --> 01:29:38,644 Chris, who? 945 01:29:50,141 --> 01:29:52,499 Hey, come on in. 946 01:29:57,932 --> 01:29:58,760 - It's okay. 947 01:29:59,605 --> 01:30:00,944 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 948 01:30:15,041 --> 01:30:16,697 This is my friend, RJ. 949 01:30:18,925 --> 01:30:20,134 Hey. 950 01:30:24,615 --> 01:30:26,232 What is he doing here? 951 01:30:26,508 --> 01:30:27,842 I wanted him here. 952 01:30:28,319 --> 01:30:31,033 Trust me, okay? 953 01:30:32,293 --> 01:30:35,338 So, how do you know Chris and Emily, RJ? 954 01:30:35,661 --> 01:30:38,478 - I'm just a friend. - Okay. 955 01:30:39,714 --> 01:30:41,349 I've known Chris for a while. 956 01:30:42,828 --> 01:30:45,064 - That's great. - Yeah. 957 01:30:49,814 --> 01:30:51,068 - So what's going on? 958 01:30:52,170 --> 01:30:52,896 Ehm... 959 01:30:55,257 --> 01:30:57,807 Chris and I have something, we'd like to tell you. 960 01:31:07,651 --> 01:31:10,037 This isn't easy for me to say. 961 01:31:12,357 --> 01:31:15,818 But I haven't been completely honest with any of you. 962 01:31:17,631 --> 01:31:20,217 And I feel like I should come clean. 963 01:31:29,175 --> 01:31:30,017 I... 964 01:31:32,121 --> 01:31:33,424 I... I'm... 965 01:31:45,006 --> 01:31:46,163 I'm gay. 966 01:31:52,554 --> 01:31:54,112 I'm in love with him. 967 01:32:08,993 --> 01:32:10,161 Chris. 968 01:32:13,242 --> 01:32:16,661 I know that you love Emily. 969 01:32:17,347 --> 01:32:18,323 But... 970 01:32:20,117 --> 01:32:23,954 I guess, I just always kind of assumed, you know ? 971 01:32:27,689 --> 01:32:28,831 I do love you. 972 01:32:30,499 --> 01:32:31,987 And I want you... 973 01:32:33,265 --> 01:32:34,526 Both of you... 974 01:32:35,679 --> 01:32:37,022 to be happy. 975 01:32:38,090 --> 01:32:38,956 Thank you. 976 01:32:40,721 --> 01:32:43,042 Son, we can work this through. 977 01:32:43,868 --> 01:32:45,495 We can work this through again. 978 01:32:48,109 --> 01:32:49,120 Again? 979 01:32:51,135 --> 01:32:52,210 You... 980 01:32:53,214 --> 01:32:55,327 You are a homewrecker ! 981 01:32:59,319 --> 01:33:00,807 Please make him leave. 982 01:33:01,419 --> 01:33:02,803 I don't understand why. 983 01:33:02,866 --> 01:33:04,797 Why did you invite him here, in the first place? 984 01:33:04,823 --> 01:33:05,882 I need him here. 985 01:33:06,648 --> 01:33:08,336 - I'm gonna leave. - No. 986 01:33:08,511 --> 01:33:10,008 I think you should. 987 01:33:10,520 --> 01:33:12,707 I knew who you were, as soon as you walked through that door 988 01:33:12,733 --> 01:33:14,006 and I think you should get up 989 01:33:14,032 --> 01:33:16,237 and walk out, and never come back. 990 01:33:16,458 --> 01:33:19,115 Chris, I feel like this is a family matter. 991 01:33:21,726 --> 01:33:23,724 I.. I don't even understand why I'm here. 992 01:33:23,750 --> 01:33:25,338 Yeah, neither do I. 993 01:33:25,999 --> 01:33:28,851 I think you should do exactly what my father said. 994 01:33:28,877 --> 01:33:31,379 - And you should go! - Greg, sit down! 995 01:33:33,388 --> 01:33:34,416 Chris! 996 01:33:37,283 --> 01:33:41,287 How could you do this to Mom and Dad, and let alone Emily? 997 01:33:41,538 --> 01:33:43,767 What are you thinking man? 998 01:33:46,625 --> 01:33:48,537 This has nothing to do with them. 999 01:33:54,956 --> 01:33:58,460 My brother is not gay. 1000 01:33:58,486 --> 01:34:00,025 - I've known him my whole life. 1001 01:34:00,051 --> 01:34:01,798 - I would know. - Okay. 1002 01:34:02,071 --> 01:34:04,767 - RJ. RJ. - I'm so sorry too. 1003 01:34:05,576 --> 01:34:06,328 Greg. 1004 01:34:08,098 --> 01:34:08,828 Greg! 1005 01:34:11,216 --> 01:34:13,883 - Please sit down. - Greg! Greg! 1006 01:34:15,077 --> 01:34:19,168 - Sit down! - Greg, please sit down. 1007 01:34:28,860 --> 01:34:32,530 Emily, honey, I'd love to know your thoughts on all this. 1008 01:34:37,326 --> 01:34:40,759 I love you. I feel like a failure, as a wife. 1009 01:34:40,937 --> 01:34:41,485 No. 1010 01:34:43,297 --> 01:34:45,235 But I'm not ready to give up yet. 1011 01:34:48,461 --> 01:34:52,340 So... you're gay and you're in love with a man. 1012 01:34:57,318 --> 01:35:00,730 That doesn't explain or answer to me how you're... 1013 01:35:01,543 --> 01:35:03,933 you're going to leave your wife! 1014 01:35:04,468 --> 01:35:05,902 Abandon me! 1015 01:35:07,375 --> 01:35:08,703 And your daughter. 1016 01:35:09,600 --> 01:35:12,710 Your family, your church, your Heavenly Father. 1017 01:35:13,991 --> 01:35:15,335 All, so that you can just... 1018 01:35:15,526 --> 01:35:18,781 have some momentary self-indulgent fling! 1019 01:35:21,753 --> 01:35:23,390 This is about who I am. 1020 01:35:27,714 --> 01:35:29,691 I don't expect you to forgive me. 1021 01:35:31,222 --> 01:35:33,316 But I hope, one day, you can understand. 1022 01:35:35,288 --> 01:35:39,151 And you can help me, to help Kaylee to understand. 1023 01:35:43,481 --> 01:35:46,459 - But this is something I have to do. - No... 1024 01:35:46,588 --> 01:35:47,825 - Honey? - No... 1025 01:35:48,340 --> 01:35:50,522 you do not abandon me. 1026 01:35:53,300 --> 01:35:55,266 You have to let me go. 1027 01:35:57,884 --> 01:35:58,593 No. 1028 01:36:04,473 --> 01:36:05,727 No, honey. 1029 01:36:07,402 --> 01:36:08,111 No. 1030 01:36:09,840 --> 01:36:13,664 No. No. Never! 1031 01:36:13,875 --> 01:36:15,879 I can not let you go. 1032 01:36:18,621 --> 01:36:20,977 Why did you do this to me !? 1033 01:36:27,145 --> 01:36:29,176 I do not do it to hurt you 1034 01:36:33,821 --> 01:36:36,489 This is not the case, dear... 1035 01:36:37,529 --> 01:36:38,981 I hate you! 1036 01:36:39,033 --> 01:36:41,141 You get out of my house! 1037 01:36:58,437 --> 01:36:59,317 Hi. 1038 01:37:15,106 --> 01:37:16,635 You know my dad never told my mum 1039 01:37:16,661 --> 01:37:18,315 about what happened on our mission? 1040 01:37:20,404 --> 01:37:21,629 He kept it from her. 1041 01:37:25,147 --> 01:37:27,145 She could barely look at me, today. 1042 01:37:34,656 --> 01:37:37,533 My dad's asked me to write a letter to everyone we know, 1043 01:37:37,621 --> 01:37:38,918 telling them the truth. 1044 01:37:42,429 --> 01:37:43,582 I'm gonna do it. 1045 01:37:47,235 --> 01:37:49,961 I'm gonna honor him, and do it. 1046 01:38:00,578 --> 01:38:03,581 I'm gonna wait till after the anniversary party and then, send them off. 1047 01:38:03,829 --> 01:38:04,773 One by one. 1048 01:38:31,949 --> 01:38:32,684 Hello? 1049 01:38:33,801 --> 01:38:36,699 - Is this Thomas Smith? - Yes, it is. 1050 01:38:37,609 --> 01:38:39,403 Hello Thomas, this is Noah Merrill, 1051 01:38:39,429 --> 01:38:41,217 I'm calling you from Salt Lake City. 1052 01:38:42,109 --> 01:38:44,526 Yes, I know who you are, of course. 1053 01:38:44,921 --> 01:38:47,163 Ehm, to what do I owe the honor? 1054 01:38:47,976 --> 01:38:50,173 Well, I'm afraid this call is ehm... 1055 01:38:50,363 --> 01:38:53,782 regarding a rather... sensitive issue. 1056 01:38:54,128 --> 01:38:54,870 Ehm, sure. 1057 01:38:55,206 --> 01:38:56,911 What is this regarding? 1058 01:38:57,620 --> 01:39:00,654 Several years ago, your son RJ and my son Chris 1059 01:39:00,680 --> 01:39:02,203 were mission companions. 1060 01:39:03,368 --> 01:39:04,407 I see. 1061 01:39:06,299 --> 01:39:07,979 And I don't know, if you knew this, but... 1062 01:39:08,140 --> 01:39:10,694 RJ is currently in Salt Lake City. 1063 01:39:11,088 --> 01:39:13,482 No. I didn't know that. 1064 01:39:15,132 --> 01:39:16,213 Well... 1065 01:39:16,908 --> 01:39:18,818 he is, and ehm... 1066 01:39:19,999 --> 01:39:23,525 he's complicating things for Chris and his wife. 1067 01:39:24,470 --> 01:39:27,103 They've been meeting at a hotel, near Chris' home. 1068 01:39:28,463 --> 01:39:31,615 and ehm.. I just think it would be good if you... 1069 01:39:32,023 --> 01:39:35,572 were to call RJ and convince him, to go back to Seattle. 1070 01:39:37,202 --> 01:39:38,304 Brother Merrill, I... 1071 01:39:39,031 --> 01:39:41,147 I know, this must be difficult for you, but... 1072 01:39:41,609 --> 01:39:43,101 RJ is a grown man. 1073 01:39:43,628 --> 01:39:46,328 I can call him and ask him to leave Salt Lake City, but... 1074 01:39:46,601 --> 01:39:47,830 that doesn't mean he'll go. 1075 01:39:48,026 --> 01:39:50,288 Thomas, Chris and his wife are 1076 01:39:50,314 --> 01:39:52,321 thinking about getting a divorce. 1077 01:39:54,387 --> 01:39:58,014 He's been doing great, he's come so far. 1078 01:39:59,720 --> 01:40:00,837 Your son has just... 1079 01:40:01,204 --> 01:40:04,604 he brings confusion in the spirit of Chris' life, and 1080 01:40:05,938 --> 01:40:07,482 I hate to say it, but I really 1081 01:40:07,508 --> 01:40:10,380 I think it was RJ, who seduced Chris on his mission trip. 1082 01:40:10,406 --> 01:40:14,337 Again: I'm sorry for what you and your familyare going through. 1083 01:40:14,363 --> 01:40:18,886 But to put the blame solely on RJ, it's just not fair. 1084 01:40:19,238 --> 01:40:22,851 Your son is a part of this, as much as RJ. 1085 01:40:22,877 --> 01:40:23,939 You know that. 1086 01:40:24,398 --> 01:40:27,347 Chris was fine until RJ showed up at his door. 1087 01:40:27,628 --> 01:40:28,253 Noah, 1088 01:40:29,007 --> 01:40:32,413 I think you and I are a lot more similar than we might guess. 1089 01:40:32,498 --> 01:40:34,668 I don't think so. I don't think so. 1090 01:40:34,694 --> 01:40:37,630 What kind of a father would let his son parade around as a pansy ? 1091 01:40:37,775 --> 01:40:40,236 Now, hang on just one minute! 1092 01:40:42,057 --> 01:40:45,015 I'm very sorry for what you and your family are going through, 1093 01:40:45,041 --> 01:40:47,631 but my son is a good boy. 1094 01:40:48,068 --> 01:40:51,723 He's a good boy and whatever is happening in Salt Lake City, 1095 01:40:51,749 --> 01:40:55,713 is being reciprocated by your son, or else, RJ would have left by now! 1096 01:40:59,209 --> 01:41:01,209 I am proud of my son. 1097 01:41:02,150 --> 01:41:04,721 And, this hasn't been easy on me, but... 1098 01:41:05,541 --> 01:41:07,603 I love him, so much. 1099 01:41:09,939 --> 01:41:11,963 And he struggled too. 1100 01:41:12,536 --> 01:41:13,894 As has Chris. 1101 01:41:15,490 --> 01:41:20,443 RJ has been on a very powerful spiritual journey... 1102 01:41:20,721 --> 01:41:22,783 to come to peace, with who he is... 1103 01:41:23,705 --> 01:41:25,713 no matter what the church says about it. 1104 01:41:28,154 --> 01:41:29,600 And Brenda and I... 1105 01:41:31,553 --> 01:41:32,982 we've started our journey. 1106 01:41:34,467 --> 01:41:35,912 And now, brother Merrill... 1107 01:41:36,967 --> 01:41:39,182 you and your family have to begin yours 1108 01:41:41,619 --> 01:41:45,948 And if you ever say anything bad about my son again... 1109 01:41:46,994 --> 01:41:48,588 you and I are gonna have a problem. 1110 01:41:49,564 --> 01:41:50,642 Do you understand me? 1111 01:42:14,151 --> 01:42:14,860 Chris. 1112 01:43:56,849 --> 01:43:58,583 Why did I see him ?! 1113 01:44:33,820 --> 01:44:36,990 Now I see the damage I've done. 1114 01:44:38,052 --> 01:44:40,638 I'm holding on to something from my past. 1115 01:44:41,164 --> 01:44:42,693 It's not just Chris. 1116 01:44:42,749 --> 01:44:45,467 It's everything that's locked in me that's L.D.S. 1117 01:44:56,342 --> 01:45:01,397 ♪ Here I make my solemn vow ♪ 1118 01:45:02,772 --> 01:45:08,115 ♪ To Keep His light in front of me ♪ 1119 01:45:09,632 --> 01:45:15,225 ♪ In spite of what the dark allows ♪ 1120 01:45:16,456 --> 01:45:21,705 ♪ Of what love comes unto me ♪ 1121 01:45:23,050 --> 01:45:28,908 ♪The seas may rage for endless years ♪ 1122 01:45:29,413 --> 01:45:34,920 ♪ The wind may test and age me ♪ 1123 01:45:35,227 --> 01:45:40,445 ♪ Still I will keep his light in my heart ♪ 1124 01:45:40,454 --> 01:45:45,613 ♪ I know he will save me ♪ 1125 01:45:47,235 --> 01:45:52,062 ♪ Here I give myself to him ♪ 1126 01:45:53,383 --> 01:45:59,102 ♪ In sweet and clear surrender ♪ 1127 01:46:00,590 --> 01:46:06,031 ♪ I know his love is pure and true ♪ 1128 01:46:07,403 --> 01:46:12,809 ♪ I know his soul is tender ♪ 1129 01:46:14,411 --> 01:46:19,613 ♪ And if I sink under the waves ♪ 1130 01:46:21,161 --> 01:46:26,957 ♪ If Black Knight comes to claim me ♪ 1131 01:46:29,157 --> 01:46:35,027 ♪ I know my soul will be redeemed ♪ 1132 01:46:37,125 --> 01:46:44,570 ♪ My love for Him will save me ♪ 1133 01:47:09,586 --> 01:47:11,867 Well, I just wanted to start by saying 1134 01:47:11,868 --> 01:47:15,700 welcome to my family and to my favourite people. 1135 01:47:15,815 --> 01:47:19,700 What else can I say but congratulations. I love you both. 1136 01:47:21,761 --> 01:47:23,296 Well, let's get uncle Noah appear. 1137 01:47:23,322 --> 01:47:25,939 I think he has something he wants to say to us all. 1138 01:47:36,517 --> 01:47:37,368 Thank you. 1139 01:47:40,478 --> 01:47:42,892 I want to thank you all for coming here tonight. 1140 01:47:44,110 --> 01:47:48,470 It is the 25th year, that I've spent with my soul mate, 1141 01:47:48,847 --> 01:47:50,520 the love of my life, Debra Merrill. 1142 01:47:56,199 --> 01:48:00,398 You know when I met her in a conference centre in Cleveland, Ohio 1143 01:48:00,852 --> 01:48:04,906 I knew right away that is was more than just a coincidence, that... 1144 01:48:05,008 --> 01:48:06,313 It was fate. 1145 01:48:08,047 --> 01:48:08,833 And... 1146 01:48:09,758 --> 01:48:10,969 I'm honoured... 1147 01:48:11,688 --> 01:48:14,383 to have such a wonderful woman... 1148 01:48:15,832 --> 01:48:16,926 in my life. 1149 01:48:18,137 --> 01:48:19,285 And ehm... 1150 01:48:20,746 --> 01:48:23,176 and our three beautiful children, and... 1151 01:48:24,103 --> 01:48:25,645 Emily, our daughter-in-law. 1152 01:48:28,243 --> 01:48:29,168 You see... 1153 01:48:31,016 --> 01:48:33,680 you don't get to choose, who you love in this world. 1154 01:48:34,489 --> 01:48:37,215 Our Heavenly Father makes those choices for us. 1155 01:48:39,766 --> 01:48:40,516 And... 1156 01:48:42,256 --> 01:48:43,575 in the end... 1157 01:48:44,802 --> 01:48:46,254 all we have, is family. 1158 01:49:02,799 --> 01:49:03,744 What are you doing? 1159 01:49:09,711 --> 01:49:11,865 - I'm leaving. - Why? 1160 01:49:13,632 --> 01:49:15,077 You have no idea... 1161 01:49:15,884 --> 01:49:18,593 how happy I am, to have spent this last week with you. 1162 01:49:23,078 --> 01:49:25,457 There's always a part of me, that's gonna love you. 1163 01:49:30,320 --> 01:49:31,914 So before I go... 1164 01:49:33,437 --> 01:49:35,031 I wanna do something for you. 1165 01:49:36,074 --> 01:49:36,711 What? 1166 01:49:48,884 --> 01:49:50,027 Forgive me. 1167 01:50:23,275 --> 01:50:25,743 I just saved you a lot of dollars, okay? 1168 01:51:36,865 --> 01:51:39,024 Do you know yet, what you're gonna say to your father? 1169 01:51:42,907 --> 01:51:44,497 I already told him the truth. 1170 01:51:44,989 --> 01:51:46,501 But he can't accept it. 1171 01:51:48,592 --> 01:51:51,051 So I assume, all I've left to say is: "I'm sorry". 1172 01:52:03,744 --> 01:52:05,256 But you've already done that. 1173 01:52:16,891 --> 01:52:18,806 Honey, you can't hold this in. 1174 01:52:19,681 --> 01:52:21,349 You need to talk to somebody. 1175 01:52:26,379 --> 01:52:28,140 I'm not a good person, am I? 1176 01:52:29,172 --> 01:52:31,484 Honey, of course you are. 1177 01:52:33,093 --> 01:52:35,429 I don't think this was a surprise, to any of us. 1178 01:52:36,449 --> 01:52:38,549 Don't you think, your dad is upset because he's... 1179 01:52:38,575 --> 01:52:39,973 shocked by this? 1180 01:52:42,000 --> 01:52:42,665 No. 1181 01:52:43,477 --> 01:52:44,164 No. 1182 01:52:46,028 --> 01:52:47,723 I need you to understand something. 1183 01:52:47,749 --> 01:52:49,481 Mom, can we please talk about this later? 1184 01:52:49,545 --> 01:52:50,296 No. 1185 01:52:50,926 --> 01:52:51,426 No. 1186 01:52:52,106 --> 01:52:53,926 We need to talk about this now. 1187 01:52:54,506 --> 01:52:56,672 You need to understand something. 1188 01:52:57,719 --> 01:53:00,703 - You made these choices. - Okay, Mom. 1189 01:53:00,729 --> 01:53:02,770 No, you don't listen. 1190 01:53:03,311 --> 01:53:05,525 I can't stand as a human being. 1191 01:53:06,418 --> 01:53:08,295 You made the choice... 1192 01:53:08,850 --> 01:53:10,179 to go on a mission. 1193 01:53:11,275 --> 01:53:13,861 You made the choice to get married in the temple. 1194 01:53:14,653 --> 01:53:16,536 And these choices, honey... 1195 01:53:17,673 --> 01:53:19,501 they gave your father hope. 1196 01:53:20,991 --> 01:53:22,868 They gave me hope too. 1197 01:53:26,204 --> 01:53:27,517 Oh, honey, 1198 01:53:28,583 --> 01:53:30,888 All we have in this life is each other. 1199 01:53:31,950 --> 01:53:33,403 - You know that? - Yeah. 1200 01:53:34,056 --> 01:53:36,522 And honey, I love... I love our life 1201 01:53:36,548 --> 01:53:39,204 And I love our family, our eternal family... 1202 01:53:40,196 --> 01:53:43,157 and I love being L.D.S. 1203 01:53:43,836 --> 01:53:45,649 And I love our Heavenly Father. 1204 01:53:47,473 --> 01:53:49,437 I know, this has been so hard for you. 1205 01:53:52,266 --> 01:53:53,504 But let me tell you... 1206 01:53:53,934 --> 01:53:56,091 as hard as this is, you have to know, 1207 01:53:56,117 --> 01:53:58,263 that you are a child of God. 1208 01:53:58,987 --> 01:54:01,394 You are, and He loves you. 1209 01:54:02,538 --> 01:54:04,523 And if He can't accept you, 1210 01:54:04,885 --> 01:54:06,297 the way that you are. 1211 01:54:07,390 --> 01:54:09,416 just the way,He made you, 1212 01:54:11,658 --> 01:54:13,063 I let you know, I will. 1213 01:54:15,674 --> 01:54:17,682 Okay? I will. 1214 01:54:21,444 --> 01:54:24,127 And your father will come around. He will. 1215 01:54:26,651 --> 01:54:28,897 I've really hurt Emily, though. 1216 01:54:30,061 --> 01:54:31,889 Honey, she's gonna need some time. 1217 01:54:32,561 --> 01:54:33,305 Okay? 1218 01:54:33,740 --> 01:54:35,068 And you'll give her that. 1219 01:54:37,151 --> 01:54:40,939 But right now you need to work on Chris, okay? 1220 01:54:42,309 --> 01:54:43,560 Give her some time. 1221 01:54:45,241 --> 01:54:47,827 And then, you can help her. 1222 01:54:48,597 --> 01:54:51,311 And help Kaylee to understand, what she's going through. 1223 01:54:51,497 --> 01:54:53,338 And what is happening around her. 1224 01:54:53,770 --> 01:54:54,426 Okay? 1225 01:54:57,016 --> 01:54:58,399 My boy... 1226 01:55:09,747 --> 01:55:11,996 - I love you. - I love you. 1227 01:55:13,134 --> 01:55:14,946 - It's gonna be okay. - Yeah. 1228 01:55:48,819 --> 01:55:51,497 Whatever that stunt was, you pulled last night... 1229 01:55:54,579 --> 01:55:58,037 it's made the 20 years, that I've given the church, 1230 01:55:58,594 --> 01:55:59,512 mean nothing. 1231 01:56:00,551 --> 01:56:01,745 Nothing at all. 1232 01:56:02,172 --> 01:56:03,816 Of course they meant something. 1233 01:56:09,265 --> 01:56:12,050 And you broke that poor girl's heart, with your lies. 1234 01:56:12,514 --> 01:56:13,875 You know that, right? 1235 01:56:15,732 --> 01:56:17,733 And I've raised you, to be honest. 1236 01:56:19,080 --> 01:56:21,564 To be honest, I would have to admit, to being gay. 1237 01:56:23,500 --> 01:56:26,412 I've been praying this away, since I was a child. 1238 01:56:28,897 --> 01:56:31,326 I've been guilty every day of my life. 1239 01:56:31,352 --> 01:56:32,828 Do you really want me, to live the rest 1240 01:56:32,854 --> 01:56:34,507 of my life, feeling this way? 1241 01:56:36,757 --> 01:56:38,687 If it means your loyalty to God... 1242 01:56:41,553 --> 01:56:42,871 Then yes, I do. 1243 01:56:49,148 --> 01:56:51,102 - I have to go, Chris. - Dad? 1244 01:56:51,726 --> 01:56:52,552 I have to go. 1245 01:56:52,858 --> 01:56:55,105 Can we please finish this conversation? 1246 01:56:58,663 --> 01:57:00,763 We have nothing left to discuss. 1247 01:57:14,851 --> 01:57:16,016 Chris, what are you doing? 1248 01:57:16,042 --> 01:57:19,143 I am not letting you leave, without finishing this conversation. 1249 01:57:19,956 --> 01:57:22,259 So you're embarrassed to have a gay son? 1250 01:57:23,924 --> 01:57:26,128 Yes, I'm embarrassed to have a gay son. 1251 01:57:26,154 --> 01:57:26,799 Why? 1252 01:57:29,350 --> 01:57:31,600 Cause it goes against God's Laws. 1253 01:57:32,005 --> 01:57:33,612 I am your child. 1254 01:57:34,716 --> 01:57:36,139 I'm your son! 1255 01:57:41,207 --> 01:57:43,695 I live to make you proud. 1256 01:57:43,721 --> 01:57:46,197 I've manufactured my entire life, 1257 01:57:46,223 --> 01:57:48,400 to please you, because I love you. 1258 01:57:50,339 --> 01:57:52,418 Because I am proud of my father. 1259 01:57:58,130 --> 01:57:59,941 You're breaking my heart, Dad. 1260 01:58:02,867 --> 01:58:05,054 Please don't walk away from me. 1261 01:58:07,590 --> 01:58:09,540 Because I can't do this without you. 1262 01:58:12,394 --> 01:58:15,047 You taught me to tell the truth, no matter what. 1263 01:58:15,316 --> 01:58:18,519 And I'm finally doing that, and you don't like it. 1264 01:58:21,039 --> 01:58:25,027 But I'm doing exactly what you taught me to do. 1265 01:58:45,355 --> 01:58:47,191 I just want you to have a good life. 1266 01:58:48,420 --> 01:58:50,207 I don't want you to struggle. 1267 01:58:53,359 --> 01:58:56,215 All I ever wanted, was to make life easy for you. 1268 01:58:58,348 --> 01:59:01,136 I can't give you a second helping with this. 1269 01:59:03,265 --> 01:59:05,007 I'm gonna be okay, Dad. 1270 01:59:08,758 --> 01:59:10,540 Everything is going to change. 1271 01:59:12,918 --> 01:59:15,519 But I promise you, I'm going to be okay. 1272 01:59:47,308 --> 01:59:49,359 After the anniversary dinner, 1273 01:59:50,357 --> 01:59:52,086 the last thing I expected 1274 01:59:52,203 --> 01:59:54,095 was a letter from Chris. 1275 01:59:55,647 --> 01:59:57,390 He said many things. 1276 01:59:58,452 --> 02:00:01,401 But what stood out to me, was three words: 1277 02:00:02,716 --> 02:00:03,928 I forgive you. 1278 02:00:06,850 --> 02:00:09,172 You see, I love Salt Lake. 1279 02:00:09,435 --> 02:00:10,788 Trying to convince myself, 1280 02:00:11,252 --> 02:00:14,073 that never seeing him again, is for the best. 1281 02:00:15,626 --> 02:00:16,877 But in my heart... 1282 02:00:17,842 --> 02:00:19,400 I know it's not an issue... 1283 02:00:19,722 --> 02:00:21,306 of if I'll see him again. 1284 02:00:25,075 --> 02:00:25,946 But when. 1285 02:00:37,877 --> 02:00:39,877 *** 90428

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