Original subtitles

And, of course, I sez' if to iceland/c lime

because we share a love of the Aurora borea/is, gordy.

And you have no idea how to tell time.

Greaz'g/fi', dad.

Way to think things through.

Somehow, you'd think that a man who can send a rocket into space

would be able to manage a ha/fi/va y decent birthday present.

No, oe.

You know, gordy, all things considered,

maybe my gift isn't so bad alter all.

Aw.

Hey, gordy surprise!

Wow! Now, theres a gifi/

Here you go, gordy. Happy birthday!

Oh, beautiful, Haley.

Now the weather. Sure to be a windy one.

We have a high-wind warning for the la county coast and valleys,

with some clouds sure to come in around 70:00 a. M.

And even though the high-gust warning will, um, expire mid to late morning,

you'll still want to keep...

The search for a group of missing hikers

is set to resume this morning just outside a gua Dulce.

The tour group went out two days ago

on the pacific crest trail...

But didn't come back as expected that night.

Crews started searching yesterday...

Trafi'ic is already backed up due to an accident on the southbound 707.

It is 7:44 with Bo and lves.

Bang.

Bang.

Whoa. Come on.

Down, down.

Down, down, down.

Bang!

Yes! Good boy.

Up, up, up.

Up! Up, up.

Gotta keep our heads up out the clouds on this one.

I know.

Now, we land this...

Yeah, like six-guns...

I mean, we really put on a show, well,

you know they gotta bring us back for the sequel.

Mm-hmm.

Well, we sure as hell ain't gotta sell no more horses.

So, just execute,

and we ain't got no more problems. Mmm.

You good?

You good?

Where your sister?

What's that about?

She supposed to be here.

Yeah.

Goddamn it.

Thought I told you to fix the damn Walker.

You hear that?

Pops!

- Come on, come on. Pop. - Firefly.

- What else? What else? - Ghost.

Uh-huh.

Beethoven.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Commodore. - Yeah.

Virgil.

You good. You good.

You good. You good. You good, man.

- Ghost. - You good, you good, you good.

Pops?

- Lucky. - Pops?

- Commodore. - Pops? Pops!

Oj. Oh. Hi, horsie.

Hey, hey, hey. Don't look him in the eyes, please.

Okay. You ready to do the safety meeting?

Uh, I'm gonna need, like, five.

Um, my team's almost here.

Your team's not here? Okay, hold.

Sorry, I got the horse guy talking to me too. What's up?

- Safety meeting. - Copy.

Ladies and gentlemen, miss Bonnie Clayton on set.

Here she is, everybody.

Take a look at all of that.

Fynn, this is oj, our horse trainer.

You remember these guys from flash point.

Yeah. Hi.

Your name is oj?

Yeah, Otis junior.

Where's the other guy?

The... the senior guy?

Dude, he died. About six months ago.

A bunch of random shit fell out of a plane.

So I guess we're stuck with junior over here.

-Yeah.

Okay. Fuck.

Great. Uh, ant, how we iookin'?

Yeah, good, if we're selling a horse's ass.

That's, uh, legendary cinematographer

antlers holst over here, everybody.

- Let's go ahead and spin the horse. - But you had said "hold," so...

And now I'm saying "spin." Let's go.

Great. And while that's spinning, can we get makeup?

Let's get makeup for miss Bonnie Clayton, please.

Hold on.

- Step away from the back, please. - They told me to come here.

Good call, oj. Um, tell you what, let's do a quick safety meeting.

Guys, this is oj, our horse trainer.

Take it away.

Kill the music, please.

My name is oj. Uh,

I think my sister's gonna be here in a minute.

Little louder, please. We can't hear you in the back.

I said we are animal wranglers

with Haywood Hollywood horses, and, uh,

did you know the very first, uh...

Hey, yo!

Excuse me. Sorry.

I'm so sorry about that. Didn't mean to do that. Sorry, brother.

- Safety meeting. - Yeah.

Hello! How y'all doing?

Sorry for the tardiness.

My name is emerald. That's oj,

and we are your animal wranglers today with Haywood Hollywood horses.

Now, did you know that the very first assembly of photographs

in sequential order to create a motion picture

was a two-second clip of a black man on a horse?

Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Look it up.

Now, I know you guys know eadweard muybridge,

the grandfather of motion pictures,

who took the pictures that created that clip.

But does anybody know the name of the black jockey that rode the horse?

Nope?

I mean, the very first stuntman, animal wrangler

and movie star all rolled into one,

and there is literally no record of him.

That man was a Bahamian jockey

that went by the name of alistair e. Haywood.

And he is my great-great-grandfather.

- Great. - There's another "great" grandfather.

That's why back at the Haywood ranch,

as the only black-owned horse trainers in Hollywood, we like to say,

"since the moment pictures could move, we had skin in the game."

All right. Let's get into some, uh, safety precautions

while we're on set, shall we?

Number one: Please refrain from making any loud noises,

sudden movements, and keep your cell phones off.

We'd really appreciate that.

Two: If you see anything that looks or feels unsafe,

contact me, oj or your second in chain-of-command.

And three:

Let's have a great shoot!

Uh, and I'm emerald Haywood.

I direct, write, produce, act.

J” / do a little singing on the side j”

uh, motorcycles, baby. Look, I-I make a mean grilled cheese.

If you're looking for crafty, just holler at me.

Okay. That was great. That was a lot.

Uh, let's do a rehearsal. Yeah? Rehearsal?

Rehearsal, we should. We should do one. Rehearsing.

I think... I think he might need a break.

Yeah, we'll rehearse one first, and then break, yeah?

Well, I'm ready to do one.

Oj, she's ready to do one.

Tell the horse we're ready to do one.

VFX, can we get the ball in here while we have a sec?

- Em. - VFX.

Uh, and, oj, you can step off.

- Step out. Step off. Uh, step out. - Yeah, yeah.

- Em. - What's the horse's name?

- Uh, lucky. - Lucky?

- Is he? - VFX!

Yeah. Em!

- Uh, oj, let's step off. - You calling me?

Hey, what did I tell you about that?

If she can't get near the horse, what are we doing here?

Hey, hey, hey!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Medic!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you okay?

Look, maybe it's just too soon. It's not the gig. Not ready yet. Right?

- We need it, man. - I know.

Your dad left an enormous hole. I know that.

But don't worry. There'll be others.

All right? I'm sorry.

- And just tell her sorry. - Sorry.

Thank you for the opportunity.

Come on, now.

Oh, where's VFX?

All right. You got it.

So, where am I dropping you?

I'ma go up with you.

I need to get some shit.

My "I girl said, you know, I could crash at her place

so I'll be gone in the morning.

So I'm gonna drive you back tomorrow?

I can find a ride.

But, I mean, like, can I get "fun oj" out this bitch?

'Cause this wack-ass oj is really making me feel like I'm not loved.

Is that how you want your little sister to feel?

What happened to gold rush?

Gold rush went bankrupt.

It's been this for three years.

Damn.

Howdy, folks. Welcome to Jupiter's claim.

Cowboys and cowgirls, just a little heads-up.

Join us Fridays at 5:30 p. M.

For the brand-spankin '-new jupiters claim star lasso experience.

- Oh, shit. - Come on.

I'm 8 o "y, y' all I I'm s o "y

photobomb!

Lucky.

Hang tight. I'll be back.

How many you sold?

How many?

Ten.

You sold ten of pops' horses?

I'm gonna get 'em back.

- Can you stay out here? - Why?

I'm developing a business relationship, and you're a liability right now.

How am I a liability?

How are you a...

Don't promote your fucking side shit on the job.

Oh, my god.

Actor, singer, dancer, seamstress, motorcyclist.

You wanna promote something? Promote this business.

No, oj. No.

First of all, that's not my side shit. This is.

And second of all, if anybody's a liability...

Fuck you.

No, fuck you.

Hi there. It's Amber again from jupe's claim.

It does look like we were able to squeeze out

a couple of extra press passes

for the upcoming friends and family preview.

Oh. No apology necessary.

This is in reference to the biggest, bestest, brand-new live show

we have coming up here at the park.

Come in.

Oj. Thanks for coming up.

How you doing? This is my sister, em.

Hi there.

So, uh...

Who'd you bring me?

Uh, lucky.

He's my second-best horse, you know, uh,

but he lost focus, so, uh...

I mean, I did too, but I can't fire myself.

- That's good. - Hey, hey.

Hold up. This you?

You literally the Asian kid from kid sher/h?

- Em, em, em... - No, it's okay.

Yeah, I was, uh... I was lil jupe.

Ah, dude, you were literally my favorite. You mind if I get a picture real quick?

Hey, you mind if we talk?

Yes. Of course.

Please, browse away.

Su casa es mi casa.

Thank you. I sure will.

Um, so,

same deal, yeah? Eleven, five?

- Yeah, thank you. - That's 3D. Yeah.

Whatever happened to that black boy? He was good.

Stop, stop.

He was good.

I actually wanted to, uh, lay some groundwork

uh, to a pathway of, uh, buying some of them back. Right?

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Totally.

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Actually, oj, the offer I made your dad is still on the table.

Oh, uh...

- Let me... - Yo, wait a minute.

So, that...

Oj, have I shown you this?

This is in reference to the gordys home! Incident.

Gordyis home!

Yeah, yeah.

So, gordyis home/is a short-lived but fabled sitcom I starred in in '96

after kid sheriff blew up.

Yeah, my pops told me about that show.

The monkey went crazy or some shit.

You know, I usually charge a fee for this.

Oh, damn.

Ta-da.

Hmm.

That's the first exploding fist bump.

What? Really?

Y'all came up with that?

So, as I was saying, uh, gordyis home! Began airing

in the fall of '96...

And it was an immediate hit.

Uh, ratings were huge. Pretty good reviews.

Just really took off.

Yeah.

Then, uh, one day...

We were shooting an episode in season two

entitled, uh, "gordy's birthday,"

and, um, boom.

One of the chimps that plays gordy just... just hit his limit.

And it was six minutes and 13 seconds of havoc.

Network tried to Bury it, but it was a spectacle.

People are just obsessed.

You're kidding me. Oj, you said you heard about that?

Mm-hmm. That's why they don't let you use chimps.

That's part of the reason.

There's a growing gordy's home! Fan base out there now.

This Dutch couple paid me 50k to come in here and spend the night.

I didn't ask.

That's crazy.

So what happened really, man?

You haven't seen the "bad gordy" sketch on snl?

I mean, they pretty much nailed it better than I could.

- Mmm. - No?

Saturday night live?

Darrell Hammond as Tom,

Ana gasteyer as Phyllis,

cheri oteri is Mary Jo Elliott.

Scott wolf is the host. He's me.

But, of course, the star of the sketch is Chris-goddamn-kattan as gordy,

and he is... undeniable, okay?

Bit goes like this.

Everyone's trying to celebrate gordy's birthday,

but every time gordy hears something about the jungle,

gordy... kattan... goes off.

And it's... it's kattan.

He's just crushing it.

He is a force of nature.

He is killing on that stage.

Yeah.

It was legendary.

Legendary shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'ma have to go ahead and look that one up on YouTube.

Details, you know?

Totally.

I got some work I gotta do.

So we ain't gonna chill tonight? Nothin'?

You wanna work?

Hell, no.

So, uh, what was the offer?

- Jupe? - Yeah.

He offered to buy the ranch.

Oh, really?

That's interesting. How much?

Why?

'Cause. I'm trying to see how big of a dumb-ass you are.

Big dumb-ass, probably.

I guess you don't wanna see what's good with dad liquor cabinet then, huh?

I got that hobby weed too, actually.

- That's all you had to say, then. - The hobby weed.

That's all you had to say. You should've dropped that at the top.

"I got the hobby weed." You know I'm ready.

J” if you see me walking down the street j”

j” and / start to cry each time we meet... j”

okay, your reflexes are still quick. Like, whoa. I ain't mad at it.

I'm watching.

- J” walk on byj” -To the man.

J” make believe j”

-j” that you don't see the tears j” -drink.

J” just let me grieve in private... j”

oh, shit.

Remember Jean jacket?

Yeah, good horse.

Supposed to be my first horse, actually.

I was talking to my therapist about this not long ago.

Therapist?

Yes.

I fuck one on occasion sometimes.

J” walk on by... j”

I was telling her that, for my ninth birthday,

I was supposed to get to train Jean jacket.

But then pops got some western, and Jean jacket wasn't mine no more.

Classic Otis senior.

I distinctly remember...

Standing right here at this window, watching y'all train my horse.

My horse.

Pops never looked up at me.

Whoa, now.

Whoa, now. Whoa, now.

Oj, come on.

But you did, nigga.

Remember?

It was scorpion king, actually.

It wasn't a western.

That was the first job pops took me on.

Wasn't much fun.

Ended up using camels anyways.

The point is...

Yeah, fuck the point.

Yo, that man was hardheaded as fuck.

And so are you.

That's it.

But at the end of the day, you gotta... You gotta admit, man. Pops...

Pops did something when he made this place.

He changed the industry.

That's real.

I can't just let that go.

Why is ghost in the arena?

What's good?

Yeah.

Hey, yo, em.

Turn it down!

-J” your generation believed in talk j” -all right!

J” scared of the very steps in which... j”

Hey!

Where he going?

What if / told you...

What if / told you...

You'll Lea ve here difi'erent?

You see, every Friday for the last six months...

My family and / bore witness

to an absolute...

Spectacle.

Huh?

You see it? The power?

Where's ghost?

I don't know.

Hold on.

Boom. Power went out.

- See? - Rewind.

Stop.

Ghost talking about, "I ain't listening. I'm not trained.

I do whatever the fuck I want."

What?

What'd you see?

What's a bad miracle?

They got a word for that?

They said it was a prop plane or something that killed pops.

That shit ain't never made sense to me.

Then tonight, I heard ghost make a sound I ain't never heard a horse make.

What did you see?

It was big.

- How big? - Big.

- What did it look like? - I don't know.

It was fast.

Too fast.

Too quiet to be a plane.

Are you saying what I think you're saying?

I'm telling you, we don't need a lot.

Just enough to make our shit look different from what's out there.

You get what I'm saying? Like... You know I ain't trying to run it up.

I just was looking online, and I seen a lot of shit.

You know I'm broke, right?

We'll use my money.

Okay, shut up. Look. All right.

There it is. Five to 100k.

Well, read it.

You read it! Dyslexic ass.

The point is, a website like cyber dominion

will pay five to 100k for photographic evidence of ufos and shit.

100k?

And that's just what I saw on the first go.

Now that I've been thinking about it, fuck cyber dominion.

This shit right here is a moment. Our moment.

We set it up, release it the right way...

Man, I'm talking rich and famous for life.

How you doing? You look pretty.

- She looks like she got a big house. - How?

- How we put it out? - Mmm.

That's what I'm saying.

We don't just go for the quick cash-in, okay?

We go to the most credible platform to do the story.

What's that? Like Oprah?

Yeah. Like Oprah, for example. After that, everybody want in.

I'm saying there's plenty of videos of flying shit online.

I saw one the other day. That wasn't on Oprah.

Nigga, I didn't say Oprah. You said Oprah.

You love Oprah.

Look, all I'm saying is, all that shit online is fake.

Low quality. Ain't nobody gonna get what we gonna get.

- What we gonna get? - The shot.

What shot?

The shot. The money shot.

Undeniable. Singular...

The Oprah shot.

The Oprah shot?

Excuse me.

Hi. I can help you over here.

Hi. Thank you for shopping at fry's.

Did you find everything you were looking for?

Yes, angel.

Oh. Great.

- Um, do you have a card with us? - No, thank you.

- Would you like one? Because it... - No, thank you.

Would you like one of our tech-support personnel

to help with installation?

No, no, no. Thank you.

Appreciate you.

All right. Uh, no help with the install.

Suit yourself.

Is it a hard install?

Well, for me, no. You're not gonna be able to do it.

What happened? Did you guys get robbed?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. You know, a lot of blackouts.

Take the camera out from time to time.

All these new cameras have backup battery power,

so you should be fine.

But the outages affect the power in the battery shit too, like cell phones.

Okay. All right.

Cell phones, they don't just drop in power. Right?

I mean, maybe your Wi-Fi drops out whenever your system dips.

So, that's technology.

Okay. Or maybe you're in a ufo hotspot.

No one believes in that.

What's up?

Damn. Did not realize you guys were this far out.

Mm-hmm.

I don't mind, though.

Smell of horseshit and fresh air. Right?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Whoa. Look at me, man. - Fuck.

- Don't do that. Don't yell. - Sorry, man.

Sorry if I was shut down this morning.

I just got out of a four-year relationship.

You were fine.

I know it's gonna sound fucking cliché,

but I thought that she was the one, you know?

Is this gonna take longer than an hour?

This?

Oh, shit, yeah.

- I'ma go ahead and pop out. - Where you going?

I gotta go to the store and get something. Don't worry about it. You need anything?

Her name was, uh, Rebecca Diaz.

Yeah, keep an eye out for her.

She's an actress, model, you know?

She booked a pilot on the cw, so...

Yeah, fucking left me.

Yeah, fucking cw.

- So, thing about this camera... - Actually, can it swivel up?

Uh, yeah.

Boom.

Little more?

More? Okay.

Yeah.

Mmm.

All right. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Do you know they don't call 'em ufos anymore?

It's fucking uaps now.

Why they gotta change the name?

Yeah. Exactly.

No, fuck it. I'll tell you why they changed the name, all right?

It's 'cause they wanna keep us in the dark.

Remember when they declassified all that ufo footage a couple years ago?

Yeah. Well, people started paying attention.

So they changed the name to uaps.

And no one knows what the fuck a uap is.

So everyone lost interest.

I saw that, that Navy clip.

Couldn't really see 'em, though. Could've been better.

It's shitty footage of exact proof

that there's an alien civilization out there in the universe.

So who's that?

Come on, man. The little guys with the big eyes.

- Mmm. - Yeah. There's lots of theories.

Either they're intergalactic travelers looking for peace

or futuristic humans

coming back in time to stop us from destroying the planet,

or they're fucking world-killers.

Planetary destroyers.

And that means that they've been fucking watching us and studying us,

waiting for the perfect time to beam us up

and shove metal probes up our fucking asses.

Cool.

Anyway, ancienta/iens, history channel. Watch that shit.

Hey!

Come on! Help a nigga out!

Hey.

Know where I could find me a couple of big, strong fellas?

You good?

I'm good.

- What? - What's that?

Oh, this?

You know, just, uh, training horses we ordered that I picked up.

Where'd you get it from?

Don't worry about it.

Now, come on, help me out.

Got you.

Okay, so what is it? Is it like bait?

I told you. It is a decoy for horse training.

Okay.

Shit. Shit.

-See?

We good. I mean, he don't know shit.

Oh, no. You guys are doing something shady.

Hey, there!

You can stay right there, though!

Sure!

What's up?

We setting up a decoy for horse training!

Oh, good!

You know, we got some of those.

- Where'd you get... - Where'd you get yours?

Yeah, I'm not really sure.

My wife would know.

- Okay! Thanks for stopping by! - Sth you don't live here.

- Sorry. Trying to help. - Sure thing!

Hey, I wanted to invite you to our...

New family live show.

Friday at 5:00 pm.

Okay!

Thumbs... thumbs up!

- Should I do it? - Yeah, do it.

Thumbs up!

So, the router's in the shed.

I set it up so if the power goes out on camera a,

camera b's pointed at the sky to catch whatever might've taken it out.

And, uh, vice versa. So...

Thank you.

You're really not gonna tell what the fuck is going on?

- You'll know soon enough. - Oh.

Cool, cryptic.

Fucking dicks.

I can monitor the feeds remotely myself if you want. Free of charge.

-Hell, no.

Wham, barn, thank you, ma'am.

One more thing.

You'll be getting a call from my supervisor asking how my service was.

Five stars, angel. Five stars.

Thank you.

- So what now? - I don't know. What you wanna do?

- Whatever you wanna do. - I got some work I gotta do.

I'm gonna go out...

That's a good one.

J” fisherman, rowj”

j” keep on rowrng your boat j”

j” brother man, brother man, yeah, row... j”

I'm talking today to women

who say they have been abducted by aliens from another planet.

Ll/layl say, / don'tknow for a fact the y're from another planet.

Well, you know, you weren't in Kansas anymore, Toto.

I wasn't wearing red shoes / could click together either.

J” living in a bamboo hut j”

j” in a little old seaport town j”

J” three kids on the floor... j”

Nope. Mm-mmm. Nope. I'm out.

Fuck this shit.

Okay. Okay.

Ow!

- Oh, shit! - [Child 21 fuck off.

Give us back our property.

Don't mess with Jupiter's claim!

Hey, what happened?

The park kids. Jupe's sons.

And they let clover out, man.

What? They trying to prank Haywood? It's on!

Hey, you stole their horse.

Oh. Yeah.

- Hey. - Shit.

What's up, Nessie?

Not much. Just stocking shit. You know, pretty much regular.

Oh, shit!

I need to take my ass to bed.

- Who dis? - Yo, its angel from fry's.

Just calling to tell you that there's a bug on camera a.

I know. Wait, / thought I told you not to watch our shit.

I know, I know.

- Camera bis down. - What?

Camera b is down.

Like ancient fucking aliens down.

- Hey! - Hey, hi.

Emerald, can you please get the bug off the thing?

Get the bug off the fucking thing!

Shit.

Um, what do you see? Do you see, like, lights or anything?

Like a... a fucking saucer?

It's in the cloud. It's in the cloud.

Oj! It's in the cloud!

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, nah, nah, nah.

Run, oj! Run!

Hello?

What happened to oj?

It's fine.

Come on.

Okay, it's still on.

The camera, it's still on.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Okay, you fucking praying mantis.

All right, bitch. You like sour patch kids?

Huh?

Aight, man. Where your shit? Let's go.

- Haven't seen one of those in a minute. - Fucking praying mantis.

That motherfucker better pray I don't ever see him,

'cause if I do, I'ma eat him.

- Let's go. - Where?

I don't know.

I got me a little situation in atwater texting me back right now.

- It's not coming again tonight. - I don't care.

Bro, I ain't never seen no shit like this.

It ain't worth it.

No. Nope.

It's too much.

You should go, then.

I gotta get up early anyway.

I got mouths to feed.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

You hear that?

Ghost out there.

Acting all territorial.

Mmm.

I guess some animals ain't fit to be trained.

- Hello. - Hi.

Is this, uh, antlers holst?

Who's this?

Hey, yeah, I'm emerald Haywood.

We met a couple days ago at the commercial.

Oh, yeah. Horse girl. Sure.

Lremember you and your brother.

Yeah, horse boy.

He's here too.

- The descendants of the jockey -yeah.

Guess I'm talking to motion-picture royalty then.

How'd you get the number?

I got it from the call sheet.

- Ah. - So, we have a project. And, uh,

you know, what if / told you it was the offer of a lifetime?

Yeah, hopefully not my lifetime.

That's a good one. Um, I'ma be real with you.

We don't have a lot of money to pay you up front...

Not like you're used to... but, uh...

Yeah, / tend to do one for them, so I can do one for me.

So, what is it?

Reality.

-Oh, no. Reality -documentary.

- Doc... documentary. - Oh, thatis better.

So again, what's it about?

It's about the shit dreams is made of, baby.

Listen, horse girl.

I got a, uh,

pretty damn superb lemon tart in the oven

that I'm about to serve to ten of my closest friends, so...

Stop. Stop, stop.

Oh, hold on one second. What?

He's not here for that.

- No. This is what/ do. - Stick to the plan.

I don't go to your/ob and knock a horse is dick out your hand

- hello? - Yeah?

Yeah, my bad. We good, man.

Um, according to American cinema magazine,

you make the cinematically impossible possible.

Well, we looking for the impossible shot.

That's impossible.

Antlers,

there's something out here in agua Dulce,

and you're probably the only person in the world that can get it on film.

That's it.

Horse girl,

this dream you're chasing,

the one where you end up at the top of the mountain,

all eyes on you...

It's the dream you never wake up from.

I don't like him.

Holy shit. It's real.

I don't know what you're doing here, but...

It was illegal for you to spy on us like that.

Wait, you... you don't know?

Okay, uh, tell me when you see it.

There.

- Doesn't move. - Exactly.

Well, look at that.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay.

I went back and scrubbed through the footage,

and that cloud has been right there at least since I set the cameras up.

Yeah, now you mention it,

I've probably been looking at the same cloud every day for the last six months.

Shit.

So, I mean, that's them in there.

And we've been recording it, so we got it, right?

Yeah.

Why you saying "yeah" like that?

I mean, we have proof of aliens on video.

Yeah, I wouldn't call it "proof."

Are you serious?

Look, I've seen crazy weather phenomenons online before.

He's right.

It's good, but it ain't it. Ain't Oprah.

Ain't Oprah.

Okay.

Are you guys telling me

that there's an alien spaceship

in that fucking cloud right there?

It doesn't move like a ship.

What you mean, oj?

What if it's not a ship?

All right, gordy. We 're almost ready, buddy.

Wake up, buddy. Come on.

He's ready.

Here we go. And action!

And, of course, I set it to Icelandic time,

because we share a love of the Aurora borealis, gordy.

And you have no idea how to tell time.

Great gift, dad. Way to think things through.

Somehow you'd think that a man who can send a rocket into space

would be able to manage a halfway decent birthday present.

Nope.

You know, gordy, all things considered,

maybe my gift isn't so bad after all.

Aw.

Hey, gordy!

- Surprise! - Wow!

Now, that is a gift!

Oh, sorry.

That's all right. Pick it up from there.

Wait a minute.

What happened to we both failed at finding good presents?

Here you go, gordy. Happy birthday!

Oh, beautiful, Haley!

No, no! Get down!

- No. Stop! - Stop that!

No, no, no. No, no, no. Gordy. No.

Down! Down! You sit!

No, no, no!

No, gordy! No, please.

Stop! No, no, no.

[Gunshofl

_ _

Oh, my god.

Yeah, it's pretty bad in here.

Feeling good?

Yeah.

- Feeling good. - Good.

There we go.

Run it. Run it one more time, babe.

Okay.

What if I told you...

Yo. So, a storm's coming.

Just tarping up. Just to be safe.

Hey, where you going?

I'ma get lucky.

Now we're not gonna let a few clouds kill our fun today, are we, folks?

So, without further ado,

welcome to the Jupiter's claim star lasso experience!

How's everyone feeling today?

All right!

It's quite a doozy today.

Uh, I wanna thank you guys for coming out here, but first,

how about another round of applause for my Amber?

I'll tell you, that woman is a Saint

for putting up with all my craziness.

And to the knuckleheads up there,

the staff, shout-out.

All right, all right, that's enough.

I also wanna give a special thanks to an old costar of mine,

and my first crush,

Mary Jo Elliott, everyone!

Yeah!

All right.

You ready?

Oh, come on. That ain't nothin'. Are you ready?

Here we go.

You're chosen.

What if I told you,

in about an hour,

you'll leave here different?

See, every Friday for the last six months,

my family and I have bore witness

to an absolute spectacle.

One that you'll be seeing here today.

So let me take you back to that first night.

Right here, in this exact spot,

I come over to wrangle a Chestnut horse named trigger.

Now, I could barely see my hand in front of my face for the fog,

but I swear on my wife and children's lives

that at 6:13 pm,

isee...

A flying saucer descend through the mist.

Old trigger took off straight into the gulch.

And, well,

it's like he was going home.

Now, just to be clear,

what we saw was a flying saucer.

No doubt about that.

Slightly flatter in the front, with a circular hole in the bottom

about two school bus lengths wide.

Ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not.

We are being surveilled by an alien species I call the viewers.

And though they have yet to emerge from their ship,

I believe they trust me.

If they didn't,

I don't think any of us would be here right now.

So, as I said,

in just under an hour,

star lasso experience is gonna change you.

But first, my boys are gonna come out and do a little number for us.

- Would that be all right? - Hustle. Go, go, go.

All right! My little satellites,

Kolton, Phoenix, Max.

Remember those names, folks. All right, here we go!

What is that?

You guys see that?

Uh, uh, stay in your seats.

This is new. Uh, they're early.

They're giving us a real show today.

That they are. They're giving us a real show today.

They're ready, we're ready.

Welcome to the star lasso experience,

only at jupiteris claim.

Please remember to avoid using your cell phones

- or flash photography during the event. - Cell phones off, y'all!

Come on!

Bear with us, now. Trained animals can be unpredictable.

Now, sit back, stay in your seats, and enjoy

The star lasso experience.

Well, cowboys and co wgirls,

it's time to ride off into the sunset.

That's right. Happy trails. Its closing time.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Come back again.

Until then, we wish you well.

Hasta la vista. Adids.

Well, cowboys and co wgirls,

it's time to ride off into the sunset.

That's right. Happy trails. Its closing time.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Come back again. Until then...

Lucky.

Lucky.

Lucky, come on, come on. Come on.

- Come on, come on. - Come on. Lucky!

Come on, come on, come on.

Yo. It's done.

I'll be over in the morning to tear that shit off.

- Or you can do it yourselves. - No, no. I like when you do it.

Of course you do.

All right. See you tomorrow.

See ya.

Pick up, pick up, pick up.

Come on, come on. Pick up, pick up, pick up.

Did you know that the very first assembly of photographs

in sequential order to make a motion picture

was a two-second clip of a black man on a horse?

That man was a Bahamian jockey

known as alistair e Haywood, and he was my great-great-grandfather.

- Hey. - Em!

I was right.

Its not a ship.

What happened?

J” / wear my sung/asses at night j”

J” so! Can, so... j”

What the fuck?

Shit.

It ate them, em.

It ate them all.

It is alive, em. Its an animal.

Its territorial, and it thinks that this is its...

Em!

Oh, shit.

Oh, yes.

Hey, hey. We're in trouble.

Oh, fuck.

What?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Who the hell is that?

Who the hell is that?

Oh, my god.

Em! Who the hell is that?

It's above us.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. What the fuck?

Oh, god.

Something very bad is happening.

Fuck!

Em, we're fucked.

Nope.

[Gasps}

J” / wear my sung/asses at night j”

j” solcan... j”

J” it cuts my security j”

j” has she got control of me? J”

j” / turn to her and say... j”

em? Oj's coming.

Let's go.

I gotta get out this house. I gotta get out this house.

No, stop, stop. Can't we just wait? Right?

- You can. - No. I'm not gonna be here alone.

- I gotta get out of this fucking house! - We're alive still because we stayed here!

Shit.

J” / wear my sung/asses... j”

- Let's go! - Come on.

Go!

Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

Oh, shit.

Go.

Yeah. She gonna make it.

- Oj. - She gonna make it.

Oh, hey, horsie.

- Don't look it in the eyes, please. - VFX!

Focus here. Focus here.

- J” / wear my sung/asses at night j” -Go!

J” / wear my sung/asses at night j”

j” / wear my sung/asses at night j”

j”lcrytoyou... j”

Welcome to my tavern.

I don't know if you've heard, but a terrible beast is about.

Its been harassing villagers, ruining crops and eating their livestock.

Many a glow-seeking hunter

has attempted to defeat it,

and just as many ha ve perished

while you're here, please look around

I'm here in agua Dulce, California,

and the whereabouts of those 40 guests and employees

of a local western theme park are still unknown.

The sheriff's ofi'ice has its hands full trying to identity the unaccounted-for.

Until they do, only one thing is certain:

There is something strange happening out here in a gua Dulce.

Security cameras were ofi' at the time.

Other than that, we have, uh, no reason to suspect foul play.

We did have a considerable amount of rain come through here.

So we don't wanna rule out flash flooding as possibly having played a part.

You never go wrong with a fried-fish sandwich.

Tartar got tang.

Stupid.

"Tartar got tang"?

Right?

I don't think it eats you if you don't look it in the eye.

Hey, hey!

Rtr, bro.

You know?

Like, read the room.

Nobody wanna talk about that.

- Let's go. - Okay, okay. Enough.

All right, all right, all right.

Hey, you lucky!

Every animal got rules, right?

We know what it wants, and we know how it comes, so...

Fuck.

We don't really know shit.

Oj, what's this about, man?

What's this about? You want me to... You want me to say, "I'm sorry?

"I was wrong. It's dumb"?

It wasn't, though.

- Own the moment. - Stop.

- It was good. It was good. - Stop this shit!

But the moment about to pass, and we don't own shit.

Okay, well, I assume y'all are crashing at mine.

Right? 'Cause you can.

'Cause I'm not going back to the fuckin' monster umbrella.

Gotta feed 'em.

Let lucky out.

There's shit to do.

Always.

Always some shit to do.

There's a wheelchair on your roof.

That cloud ain't moved a goddamn inch.

So you're not completely full of shit.

- Thank you. - Yeah. Thank you.

The concept of extraterrestrial animals in the sky

is not a new thing.

People have been trying to get pictures of these things since the '503.

How do we see it?

It's gonna get hungry again.

Huh.

So, you know, just ring the dinner bell.

Now, we know what it doesn't like.

That little fake horse and flags messed it up good.

Got stuck in its windpipes or something.

I bet he ain't gonna fuck with flags like that in a minute.

Yeah.

We pissed him off.

We're not the reason it settled down here.

That was jupe. He got caught up trying to tame a predator.

You can't do that. You gotta enter an agreement with one.

Yeah.

Ask siegfried and Roy.

Okay, um,

asking as someone who was in the house when the shit went down...

Mmm.

How exactly do you enter an agreement with a fucking...

A ufo, alien entity, or whatever the hell you wanna call it?

Jean jacket.

- Call him Jean jacket. - So, how about this?

How about we send old Jean jacket

some fresh horses in golden hour and see what happens?

Mm-mmm.

Horse people.

- Mmm. Why not just set them free? - We're not doing that.

Okay.

Who is gonna go down there

and get the star out of his trailer?

I'll get him out.

Where you want it?

You draw him out there.

I'm here.

On this Ridge.

Oh, shit.

Made her myself. No electricity.

Didn't I tell you this motherfucker was gonna come up here

with a non-electrical camera?

Let's go, boy!

I've been up under it a couple times now.

I get him.

It's an animal.

You don't turn your back on a bear.

You don't wear red around a bull. Its like that.

You don't look at it unless you want its attention.

Good night, Mr. Storeman.

Fuck it. I call the top hat.

And we ain't got a lot of time.

One day. Two days, tops.

'Cause the word is getting out, and when it does...

Sorry, dead people.

Park's closed.

You know people gonna come and do what they always do:

Try and take it all for themselves.

Fine.

Thimble.

That's the one I wanted anyway.

Well, let 'em come.

It ain't gonna matter.

'Cause what we about to do...

They can't erase that.

He's big,

he's mad,

and he's got a lot of spirit.

But anything with a spirit can get broke.

So you break it.

I'll get the shot.

Hey, I don't know.

What we're doing is important, right?

Like, what we document,

it's, uh...

It's gonna do some good. Huh?

I mean, besides the money and fucking fame,

we can save some lives.

Fuck, we... we can even save earth.

Right?

- Mmm. - Yeah.

Well, it came down to earth, and it hid in a tree.

I said, "Mr. Purple people eater, don't eat me."

Well, he looked at me, and in a voice so gruff...

He said, "I wouldn't eat you,

'cause you're too tough."

"He was a one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater.

One-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater.

One-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater.

Sure looks strange to me. ”

He ain't gonna fuck with you.

Time to wake up the family.

Here we go.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

J” / came down on a lightning bolt j”

j” nine months in my mama's belly j”

j” when / was born the midwife screamed and shout j”

j” / had fire and brimstone coming out of m y mouth... j”

How exquisitely stupid is that?

J” na-na-na, na-na-na j”

j” na-na, na-na-na j”

j” na-na-na, na-na-na j”

j” na-na, na-na-na j”

j” exuma was my name when llived in the stars j”

j” exuma was a planet that once lit ll/lars j”

j” / got the voices of man y in my throat j”

j” the teeth of a frog and the tail of a goat j”

j” I'm exuma j”

j” I'm the obeah man... j”

J” na-na-na, na-na-na j”

j” na-na-na, na-na-na... j”

We gonna get you today, motherfucker.

-J” when I've got myj” -j” obeah j”

-j” big hat on my head j” -j” obeah j”

-j” you know that h” -j” obeah j”

-j” can raise the dead j” -j” obeah j”

j” and when / got my stick in my hand j”

j” you know that I am... j”

where is the feed for holst's camera?

Over.

Couldn't figure it out. Over.

What you mean, you couldn't figure it out? Over.

Um, holst is shooting on a film camera,

and all of our cameras are digital.

So its a whole thing. Over.

Basically, you forgot about it. Over.

I had my hands full rigging 50 fucking skydancers

to dead people's car batteries, all connected to one control panel.

So, yeah, fucking over.

Sorry. Scared

man down.

- Man down? What? Where? - The last dancer. Deep in the gulch.

Stay on it, em. I'm staying up.

Motherfucker.

Oh, wait.

Oh, its back up.

Could be a faulty battery.

All right. Shots up, then.

Nah, he's poking.

Who's this asshole?

Man in black on a white motorcycle.

No, no, no. Shit!

Can I help you?

You see that cloud?

Hey, man, who you with?

Oh, I'm sorry. Who are you?

Nobody.

You don't look like a nobody to me.

Yeah, look, we doing a camera test for a verizon commercial,

so I'ma need you to clear the road.

This whole valley comes up as blurry on Google maps.

You're really tucked away back here.

Jupiter's claim?

Quicker if you go the other way around.

Yeah.

Actually,

what did happen with jupe park and all those people?

He was basically your neighbor, right? So, what? They vanished?

You don't believe the flood narrative, do you?

Fuck, guys. It's tmz.

Oh, fuck me.

Uh, hey, guys. Uh, Jean jacket

is definitely in those clouds,

and he's definitely coming this way.

What's the matter? Don't you wanna be on TV?

Man, I'm trying to tell you.

You don't wanna go that way.

Fuck it. Your loss, nobody.

We still rolling? Over.

Goddamn right, we are.

Fellas, here it comes. Over.

Pop quiz, guys.

What happens when an electric bike going 60 miles per hour

hits an anti-electric field going in the opposite direction?

Shit.

- Fuck. All right. - Shit. We 're all gonna go to jail.

Oh, fuck. There's no way that that guy's alive.

Ah, shit.

Goddamn! I told his ass not to go.

I told him not to go.

Uh, hey, oj, what's...

Where the fuck are you going?

What the fuck is he doing?

I'm going dark. Over.

Okay. No, oj. No. No!

No self-respecting nigga...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. Easy.

Did you get that on camera?

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

- What happened? - Listen. We gotta get you outta here.

- Eyes on me. - Where's my camera?

- Hey. Hey! - I need my camera. Do you see it?

- Okay. Angel. - What?

Angel, come on. We gotta reload.

Shit.

Wait.

Uh, where's your phone?

Why aren't you filming this?

Angel, what's happening?

Okay.

Oj, if you die trying to save that guy, ill kill you.

No. No, no. Please.

- Please don't. - Shut your eye.

- Shut your eye. - Not before you take a picture.

Take a picture first.

Uh, camera reloads.

- You can use my camera. - There's not enough time.

It's here.

Scorpion king,

make a name for yourself.

What is that?

My bad, man.

Hey. Oh, my god!

My camera! I need my camera!

What the fuck?

Give me the lid. Give me the lid.

All right.

Oh, fuck! Shit! Fuck!

Hey! Hey! Is everybody okay?

For the love of fuck, talk to me, please!

Oj!

Oj. Oj!

You stupid-ass mothen'ucker, you better answer me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you okay? Are you good?

Oj!

Oh, god! Oh, god!

Oh, god!

Oh, god!

Oh, god!

Holy shit! I think it's taking the dancers.

Are you getting this?

Guys, oj's hooded up. He is doing the run.

Oj is doing the run.

Oh, god.

Hey, its gone. I can't see it anymore, guys.

Get it. Get it.

Fuck!

Go! Go!

Lucky, go. Go, go, go, go, go.

Holy shit!

Yeah!

Let's go!

Yeah, he didn't like that, did he?

Oj, you're a motherfucking genius.

We got it. We got it.

It's over. It's over! We got it, y'all!

The feed started going in and out when that guy got got.

But we should be covered with the film camera.

Right, holst?

The light...

The light. It's...

Gonna be magic soon.

What do you mean, ant?

No, no. Where are you going?

It's gonna be all right, angel.

We don't deserve the impossible.

Uh, hey, guys.

Holst just said some creepy, cryptic shit.

Took his camera and is headin' up the mountain.

Over.

Hey, holst?

Holst? Wait, hold on, man. Talk to me.

What happened? Did you get the shot or didn't you? Over.

This nigga.

Fuck him.

He's crazy, right?

Come on, come on.

No, man.

What the fuck?

Holst.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck!

Oh.

Oh, god.

Oh, shit.

Fuck.

Okay.

Fuck!

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

Get the bike

and get outta here.

Oh, my god!

You're dead! Dead!

Bang.

Come on!

Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

No!

I gotta get outta here. I gotta get outta here.

Just leave, oj.

Forget it. Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

It's gonna fuck you up.

It's gonna fuck you up.

Come on. Come on, come on!

What the...

Come on. Come on!

I got you now, motherfucker.

I'ma take you to Oprah. I'ma take you to Oprah.

Let's go to Oprah.

Yes!

Yes!

Nobody fucks with Haywood, bitch!

Nobody! You hear me?

Cowboys and cowgirls,

it's time to ride ofi' into the sunset.

That's right. Happy trails.

It's closing time.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Come back again, and until then, we wish you well.

Hasta la vista. Adids.