Original subtitles

♪ Some walk by night ♪

♪ Some fly by day ♪

♪ Nothing could change you ♪

♪ Set and sure of the way ♪

♪ There is the sun and moon ♪

♪ They sing their own sweet tune ♪

♪ Watch them when dawn is due ♪

♪ Sharing one space ♪

♪ We'll walk by night, babe ♪

♪ We'll fly by day ♪

♪ Moonlighting strangers ♪

♪ Who just met on the way ♪

There will be coffee in the lodge.

There's no comment on that at the moment.

When are you gonna know something? When are you gonna know?

- What's going on? - Jet from Lisbon went down.

Crashed or blew up, nobody seems to know.

Flight 772?

You waiting for someone onboard?

No, I was supposed to take that flight and I switched.

God.

Hello. Yes.

Certainly, it's my card.

Of course I know where I was born. Allentown, Pennsylvania, 1946.

What else do you need to know?

Mother's name Alice. Father's name William.

Listen, am I gonna get the money?

Yes, I would love to speak to a supervisor.

What do you mean, someone called up and cancelled my card?

Do you have a name?

It's what?

No.

I'm not dead.

Bill, bill, bill, ad.

- Ad? For what? - A billing service.

- Great. - Bill, bill, check.

- Check? - Check.

I never believe them, though,

about not having to buy any magazines to qualify.

I bet they have someone who sorts out the people who buy from the people who don't.

This is depressing. We've got to do something.

We've got to simplify.

Rent less expensive furniture.

Maybe find cheaper office space.

Spare down. No more frills.

No more overtime, we've got to get serious.

Maddie, we're gonna have to pop the glass on the front window

to get the piano in, so...

- Piano? - Yeah. Now, we're not going to have

this problem with the pool table, because I can just lower it to the roof

with a chopper and then we'll winch it down to this floor,

bring it through one of the office windows.

Toodles.

This isn't real. I'm dreaming this.

Alright, boys. I'll be right back.

Now listen, don't get discouraged. They've been putting ships

in bottles for years, right?

Women give birth all the time. We're gonna get this sucker in here.

Wanna hear something crazy?

- I don't even know how to play. - What are you doing?

- Nothing, I've been clean for years. - A piano, a pool table?

You like that, huh? I got the idea from this.

- A great book. - What is it?

Interviews with the heads of major corporations,

how they got there, how they stay there,

how they keep their company number one.

It's called Being 2nd Stinks.

And in it a lot of these guys talk about creating a pleasant working environment

and how it in turn leads to better productivity.

I figured, hey, you can't argue with Fortune 500, right?

Oh, no?

- Take it back. I'm not paying for it. - What?

Cancel it, take it back.

- Lady, he said-- - Cancel the chopper and the wench.

You mean winch, you're the wench.

- Watch it. - Wait.

- Maddy, you're making a mountain out of-- - Molehills.

My molehill. I own it, I pay the bills.

And I'm telling you there's no money for piano and pool tables.

Being 2nd Stinks.

Being second would be wonderful.

Being twenty second would be wonderful.

Addison, we need a client.

A client whose business we could depend on.

A bread and butter client who'd help us pay the light bill.

- Done. - A department store chain,

a brokerage house,

someplace that would need us to--

- Done? - Done!

You think I'd buy a baby grand piano,

a pool table, a satellite dish,

Satellite dish?

if I didn't know money was going to start rolling in?

A contract?

A signed contract?

- Who? Where? When? - It's this book.

I'm telling you. I read it last night and the doors open.

The light bulb came on.

I realize you got to make your own opportunities.

- You got to seize the moment. - Easy Credit Assurance Company?

EC-AC, great bunch of guys.

And you know these people?

Well, I have had... occasion to work with them in the past, yes.

And just what is it we're supposed to do

- for Eek Meek? - EC-AC.

Well, you see, they're sort of a collection agency

and we would be sort of a subcontractor to them.

We get a crack at all the cases they've given up on

and we get to keep half of whatever we collect.

- We're bill collectors? - Not bill collectors,

we're credit marshals. We're...

payment enforcers, we're bill busters.

This does not sound like something I want to do.

How do you know, you haven't even tried it yet?

I just happen to know what it's like to suffer financial reverses

and I don't like the idea of hounding unfortunate people.

Maddie, we're not going to be hounding any unfortunate people.

- We're not? - No! the people we're going after

are creeps, deadbeats, lowlifes.

People with no appreciation for the concept of obligation, responsibility...

people who are trying to evade their indebtedness,

- not people that can't pay. - You sure?

Sure I'm sure. I'm surer than sure, I'm certain.

Maddie, this contract is a money machine.

Addison, it doesn't make sense.

If it's so easy to get money out of these people then why doesn't

- Yik Yak do it themselves? - EC-AC.

Why didn't Detroit make smaller cars before Japan?

Why didn't those cereal companies put two scoops of raisins in from the get go?

Why didn't Donnie marry Marie?

Who knows, doesn't matter.

Their loss is our gain.

- I'm not so sure. - I am.

One try, let's just give it a shot. If we don't hit pay dirt--

- One try? - One try. one little bitty try.

What have we got to lose? Maddie...

trust me.

Having a lot of work done on your place while you were away.

Excuse me?

Last couple of days couldn't help but notice

men going in and out.

Hearing the hammering and the nailing.

That's the way to do it,

leave the country for a month and...

come home to a new apartment.

Larry Henderson...

owes thirty four hundred dollars on his car, poet,

lives with his mother,

money in the bank.

How did I let you talk me into this?

What is your problem?

The guy owes $3,400.

- Half of $3,400 is-- - $1,700.

$1,700, right.

Couldn't you use $1,700 right now?

That's not the point.

- What is the point? - We don't know this man's story.

We don't know if he hasn't been sick. We don't know if hasn't been robbed.

He hasn't been sick and he hasn't been robbed.

It says nothing on the card here about being sick

or being robbed. The guy got in over his head.

He bought a big expensive car and he can't afford it.

- You don't know that. - Sure I know that.

The guy's a poet.

What kind of money do you think poet's make?

Poetry is not one of your fast track careers,

there are no big runs on poems at your better department stores.

He's probably some poor sensitive little man.

- Damn straight.

It's our job to scare the iambic pentameter out of him.

The House at Pooh Corner.

- You sure you know what you're doing? - What's to know?

I'm gonna convince Rhymin' Simon that the only

thing standing between him and his death

- is a check made out to us for his car. - Oh, David.

"Oh, David" what?

Oh, David, I think you're making a terrible mistake.

You can't bully this man.

People are fundamentally good, present company excluded,

and I believe if you give them a chance to live up to their obligations,

they'll rise to the occasion.

- Fine. - Fine? Does that mean you agree with me?

- What does it mean? - Fine means fine. Fine.

Next place we stop at you can be in charge, we'll do it your way.

But right now, you're giving me one shot.

I got $1,700 riding on this dance

and I'd like to make money the old-fashioned way...

scare the creep.

Yo, Larry!

My name is David "Boom-Boom" Addison

from the Easy Credit Assurance Company...

and I'm not leaving until you come out here and sign us a check.

Watch this.

Hello, Larry.

My goodness.

You're a poet. And you sure show it.

And I know it, because you're kind of long, fellow.

That used to kill them in the fifth grade.

Luck of the draw. First guy we go see has a gland problem.

How can you guess something like that?

That guy ought to consider statehood.

Addison, this is not for us.

- Yes, it is. Maddie... - No, it isn't. David, we made a deal.

You had your try you took your shot.

Now let's go back to the office.

Okay. You got me. A deal's a deal.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Can we make one little stop? - David.

Wait for me.

Bless me, Father, for I've sinned.

How long has it been since your last confession?

Forty-two years. I'm Wind Jammer.

Wind Jammer.

I need to come in.

I need to come back. They're on to me.

- You have to be kidding. - Do I look like I'm kidding?

It's not like going through a revolving door.

It's going to take a little time.

- A little preparation. - I don't think I have any time.

I'm willing to trade.

I have a letter. A communiqué.

Nobody knows where it is except me.

Wait a second. What do you mean, trade?

I mean, you guys are supposed to help me out in situations like this.

I mean that I'm not going to be the only one to die if everything goes south.

Now, you guys cover me

and I'll make sure that everybody else's behind is covered--

Hey... I'm just a courier. I'll do what I can.

I'll have someone from the agency contact you.

That's the best I can do, Windjammer.

This isn't the way back to the office.

Sure it is, I just wanna make one little pit stop, that's all.

We had a deal.

Maddie, you're not gonna give up after one little setback, are you?

Has it ever occurred to you that the only reason your friends at Ick Poo--

- EC-AC. - or whatever...

would give you a chance to collect money from these people is that they know

it's impossible to collect money from these people?

They told Mr. Bick it was impossible to shoot--

- I don't wanna hear this.

They told Mr. Volkswagen it was impossible--

- Let's go back to the office.

build a car that floats. They told Mr. Charmin...

Addison, wake up!

They sent you out to get money from Paul Bunyan.

You wake up.

We have to do this. This is a good idea, Maddie.

I'm doing this for us, for the good of the company.

If we don't figure out some way to bring some money into the company

I can see the handwriting on the wall,

and if I have to go out there and get another job...

You may not know this but there are people out there

who think I'm not a very good detective.

Go figure.

- One more try? - One try, my way?

One try, any which way.

Okay, but if we don't hit pay dirt--

Maddie, trust me. I feel very lucky with this next guy.

Any special reason why somebody would wanna follow you?

- Three cars back. - Let me out here.

- We still got three blocks to go. - Here is fine.

This is for the ride

bring my baggage back to me tomorrow, and you get the other half of this.

Alright.

Roy Hirsch, 3C.

Where do you think he could be?

He's probably out spending money he doesn't have.

Are you sure you're using that thing properly?

It's not like it's brain surgery.

Excuse me.

- Yeah? - Mr. Hirsch, you're there.

I'll handle this. Mr. Hirsch, this is Madelyn Hayes.

I've come to talk to you about this terrible

situation you've gotten yourself into.

Who are you? Are you with the agency?

I'm with the agency, but I haven't come to intimidate or bully you.

I've come here to reason with you, to...

to appeal to your sense of fair play.

Gotta admit, I'm impressed.

I don't know why you're so surprised.

It's like I said before, people are fundamentally good.

Now, where is it?

Mr. Hirsch, it's Madelyn Hayes from the agency.

Mr. Hirsch, I can hear you moving around in there.

Could you be a dear and open the door, please?

I guess rising to the occasion takes time.

- Maybe he didn't hear you. - Stuff it. Come on, Hirsch!

What do you say you haul your ashes over to the door and let us in

before we have to come in there and get rough with you.

Now, Maddie, there's no need to bully this man.

Open this door, you parasite, you goldbricker, you, you-

Lowlife?

Mr. Hirsch?

He doesn't look too well.

It's an old deadbeat trick. Make them think you're sick.

Mr. Hirsch, about your indebtedness.

If you could take a minute and a half and write me a check for $1,450

I'm sure this ugly business would be over with.

Isn't this your checkbook here? Let me bring it to you.

You can make that out to Easy Credit Assurance Company.

David, I think this deadbeat is dead.

- Another old trick. Stick him with a pin. - I will not.

- Yank out one of his nose hairs. - Addison!

Rip off all your clothes and see if he reacts.

You're right, bad idea. That would kill me.

I'll handle this.

Hey, Roy.

Okay, you win.

He's dead.

It's right down here.

It's locked. It must have blown shut.

Guess we'll have to break it down.

A man is dead. He's not gonna come to the door.

- Hello. - Door of the living dead.

Police investigations.

I'm here following up on a possible homicide on these premises.

On these premises?

You mean, in this building?

Right there in that chair, Roy Hirsch, dead.

Dead as a doornail.

- Deader. - Miss Hayes?

- Sir, if I could have your name? - Roy Hirsch.

I know I'm intrigued.

This is not the man that was dead in that chair.

Obviously.

He's done something with the body, hidden it,

or removed it or put it someplace or something.

I assure you. I am who I say I am. Would you like to search the apartment?

- No. - Yes.

- That's what I like, a consensus. - Sir, we do not search

without a warrant or a probable cause.

Probable cause? We saw the body.

What more probable cause do you need?

Evidence, witness, signs of mayhem,

a victim who doesn't answer his door.

- He's got us on points. - May I ask what you were doing

in my apartment when you supposedly saw this dead man?

Discussing business. Mr. Hirsch--

I'm Mr. Hirsch.

The other Mr. Hirsch was behind in his car payments.

I'm sorry, I really don't understand.

We represent EC-AC, the Easy Credit Assurance Company.

Our slogan: "If you gotta go in debt, EC-AC's your best bet."

I thought you said you were private investigators?

We are, we're both. It's very complicated.

Mr. Hirsch, if you'll excuse us,

I'd like to have a word with Mister, uh...

Addison and Miss Hayes out in the hall.

Do you have a private investigator's license?

Of course we have a license. Certainly we have a license.

- Do you wanna keep it? - What are you trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is, next time you report a murder

you better make sure you have a dead body.

Sorry to have disturbed you, Mr. Hirsch.

- Wait a second. - Let it lay.

Downstairs.

How can you look so calm, so controlled? Aren't you mad?

- Mad? I'm excited. - Excited? Addison, we were just set up,

made to look like fools by that police detective.

Tell me something I don't know.

Either the real Roy Hirsch is dead,

and this new tenant is lying about who he is,

or he is Roy Hirsch and the couch potato you and I saw is someone else entirely.

Either way, something is rotten in Cleveland.

- And that doesn't make you mad? - Mad? Mad?

- How can you get mad at opportunity? - Opportunity?

Maddie, we're investigators, right?

- For the sake of argument, say "right." - Right.

Well, investigators have to have something to investigate.

- I thought we were bill busters. - That was temp work,

a summer job, something to tide us over until Mother Nature

could right her wrong and deliver unto us a murder.

Aren't you forgetting something?

"Who's the client?"

- Well? - Well, you always say that.

You gotta stop getting hung up on these technicalities.

Maddie, we have to create our own opportunities.

You think Alexander Graham Bell sat back in his workshop and said:

"Why am I inventing the phone?

No one else has one. Who am I going to call?"

Heck no. He went out there and did what he had to do.

He invented the telephone, dialed a number

until people got good and sick of all that ringing.

They went out and bought a phone so they could answer it.

Don't tell me you read that in your book?

Back of a milk carton.

Maddie, we have to investigate this murder.

Providence has deposited a dead body in our path.

Who knows what lies at the end of it? A reward, a contract?

More dead bodies. Our dead bodies.

- Tonight will tell the tale. - Tonight will tell what tale?

Tonight we figure out who really lives in that apartment, or who's really dead in it.

Terrific.

You really know how to whip up an evening's entertainment.

How long are we gonna have to stand around here?

Until someone comes around and lets us inside.

Lets us inside?

This is a security building. No one's gonna let us inside.

Someone's coming.

Play along with me.

Uncle Leon!

It's me, Davy. Little David Addison.

I got the batteries to your hearing aid.

Gosh, sis, he can't hear to buzz us in.

If he doesn't buzz us in, he'll never be able to hear.

I couldn't help overhearing. Is there anything I can do to help?

Oh, wow, sis, it's gonna be alright.

Uncle Leon will be able to play in the symphony tomorrow after all.

Oh, thank you. Hey, God bless.

God bless you.

And heaven help us all.

Have to make sure nobody's home.

- How do we do that? - Two-step process.

You wait here.

- What are you doing? - Can't be too careful.

- Clearly there's no one at home. - Let's just be sure.

- Where did you learn that? - Camp Kennybrook. Pretty cool, huh?

- Credit card. - Credit card?

Credit card.

Look, would you be more comfortable going to a motel?

It doesn't have to be a gold card,

I just want to open the door not take a trip to Aruba.

Alright, alright.

I gotta get the number to this guy's cleaning service.

Look at this place.

- Who would have done such a thing? - Seven Santini Brothers?

Somebody sure was looking for something.

What do you think it could be?

Bank loot, crown jewels, a pair of lost contacts?

Hey!

Ow!

David!

Oh!

- What happened? - Punched myself in the mirror.

Oh.

David.

What do you think this is?

- Company's coming. - What do we do now?

Make sure our hands are washed, the lid's down and we're gone.

Fire escape.

Who is it? Is it the dead man or the living man?

New guy, still alive.

- What's he doing? - Looking for this.

- He's gone. - Okay.

David, David, David!

Why are we doing this? It doesn't make sense.

This guy knew exactly where to go for this envelope.

It's crazy.

First we meet a man who's dead.

Which means that all this killing and radical redecorating

- Then we meet another man... - has something to do with this.

who says he's the man who's dead.

- Let's see what we have here. - But he isn't dead.

Then we come back and the man who's dead is gone,

the man who isn't dead is gone.

- Everything in the apartment is gone. - Crazy little rhyme.

- There's a new man... - Passport.

who isn't the man who's dead. and isn't the man who's not dead--

- Roy Hirsch's passport. - I'm tired.

I'm working very hard and I don't know why.

We don't have a client. We're not getting paid.

- Why are we doing this? - To find out who killed Roy Hirsch.

I don't even know who Hirsch is.

Sure we do. He's a Russian spy.

Sorry I asked.

Blue Moon Detective Agency.

If persons are missing, if objects are lost

we'll find them for you at reasonable cost.

Your runaway husband, that non-paying louse.

We'll find them for you, bring them back to the house.

Lost a prize-winning dog? Lost a prize-winning cat?

We'll find them both for you in just no time flat.

So tell us your problem, it'll all work out fine.

Just tell me your problem, it's why I'm on the line.

No, it was three black,

two with sugar, and one tea with lemon on the side.

Maddie, you can't call in the CIA, not after all the work we've invested.

Addison, if this guy is a Soviet spy,

we shouldn't get involved. We're private citizens.

- This is a job for the government. Yeah! - The government?

Hasn't the government got enough to do without worrying about the Russians?

That's the problem with this country. Nobody wants to do for themselves.

They always want to lay it on the government.

We're not equipped or trained.

Come here, I wanna show you something.

- What is that? - What is that? What is that?

It's a Jell-O mold. What do you think it is? It's a gun.

A serious gun for serious business, our business.

Me and you are gonna crack this case.

This, this. What is this? I don't even know what this is.

Come on, I gotta spell it out for you?

A Russian passport, a secret message.

- What secret message? - This secret message.

How do you know this isn't a Russian grocery list?

Because they don't have groceries in Russia.

They don't have anything in Russia.

No Disneyland. No Three Stooges.

No baseball. Only ballet and roulette.

I've made up my mind.

I don't wanna get involved with spies or Russians or guns.

We're not bill busters, not secret agents. What we needed is a client.

We got one, a real one. Waiting in Mr. Addison's office.

- A client? A real one, in this office? - You're kidding.

Yeah. He is just sitting there. Playing pool.

- Alright. - It was just a matter of time.

- I guess so. - What's this client's name?

- Roy Hirsch. - Roy Hirsch?

Happen to notice whether this guy's was alive or not, did you?

- What do you think he wants? - The same thing everybody else wants,

the passport and the grocery list. Come on.

- What are you doing? Where are we going? - Out of here.

This guy's following us, and my guess is he's not alone.

- What? - That's the guy from last night.

Wait a minute. What are we doing?

- He doesn't know what we look like, right? - Right.

- Looks like he's waiting by our car. - What do we do now?

I'll try to distract him, you go get in the car.

Distract him, how?

I don't know how. I'll think of something.

I'll make a big distraction, when you hear it,

jump in the car, come get me, and that'll give us a head start.

- Alright. - Alright.

- Some echo. - What?

Some echo.

♪ I got sunshine ♪

♪ On a cloudy day ♪

♪ When it's cold outside ♪

Come on, man, help me.

♪ I got the month of May ♪

♪ Well, I guess you'd say ♪

♪ What can make me feel this way ♪

♪ My girl ♪

♪ My girl ♪

♪ Talkin' about ♪ Come on, man.

♪ My girl ♪

Okay, now it's your turn. You pick a song.

- Listen, jackass-- - I don't know that one.

I'll tell you what. I'll pick one for you.

You like R&B? Me, I like R&B.

- They're following us! - Of course they're following us.

Naturally they're following us. It's a chase.

- I don't wanna do this. - Maddie, you gotta do this,

you're driving the car.

You drive, David, I've got a perfect driving record.

I have no intention of jeopardizing it with some dumb chase.

I guess that's that, chase is over. He's caught up with us.

- David, why is he doing that? - Because you're letting him do it.

- Punch this cow, will you? - Okay, I will. What does that mean?

Step on the pedal, Gretel.

What do I do now?

Get in the far right lane, make a sharp left.

You don't make a left turn from the far right lane.

We do.

Left into this alley.

- We did it. - We did it?

We did it. We lost 'em.

Whoops, they did it. They found us.

Reverse!

- Faster. - Faster?

I don't like driving faster forward, and I don't like driving faster backward.

Now, forward.

Soon as you get out of this alley, make a left.

But we don't have the right of way.

Maddie, we're doing 85 miles an hour in an alley.

- This is no time to debate right of way. - Don't yell at me.

I can't concentrate, and if I can't concentrate I can't drive.

Sorry.

- Get ready to make the turn. - What?

Turn!

- David, They're still behind us. - Of course they're still behind us.

You have to go faster than them.

Whoa!

David!

- That other car saved us. - Because he wants us all to himself.

- Hang a right here. - Why?

Why, why? Because I said so, that's why,

and so far, I've been right about everything.

Alright, so I made one mistake.

CIA! Come out with your hands up!

CIA? We've been running from the CIA?

Alright, two mistakes.

So Hirsch wasn't a Russian spy?

Double agent. He posed as a Russian spy.

He let them set him up in an apartment, credit cards, an identity.

They used him to stage dissident and terrorist activities in this country.

But not before he let you know when and where the trouble would begin.

Right.

Except after we received his last communiqué in Lisbon,

they found him out.

Killed a planeload of people just to try to stop him

from letting us know what was going on.

When they realized he changed planes,

they assigned the American based Soviet agent

the task of eliminating him.

A gentleman named Arkady Nestovicenko.

The other Roy Hirsch.

His job was to retrieve the communiqué and to kill Hirsch.

Unfortunately, he did the job in the wrong order.

He killed Hirsch then he couldn't locate the communiqué.

So why was he chasing us?

Obviously he was convinced you had it.

Why were you chasing him?

Because I was convinced he was right.

Roy and I were close, I knew where he kept things.

I checked the spot.

Somebody beat me to it.

And you think it was us?

Look, here's the bottom line.

We know the Russians are planning the assassination of...

one of several visiting Chinese diplomats at a welcoming dinner at the Biltmore,

just hours from now.

We've beefed up security. We've alerted all the authorities.

It would make things much easier to protect our Chinese friends

if we actually knew who was the target.

That's what's in the communiqué.

David.

This is not the way I pictured it would end.

Spies, communiqués.

Can't we have a speedboat chase?

Where's the guy with the big teeth,

the little fat guy with the deadly bowler?

- Do you read Russian? - This guy reads Russian, Stalin,

taking his time or beating a deadline.

What's so funny?

They obviously wanted to make sure they killed the right Chinese man.

The message simply reads, "The man with a mole on his nose."

- "The man with a mole on his nose"? - Man with a mole on his nose.

I appreciate this, your country appreciates this.

Yeah, well...

tell the country it was no sweat.

I have a great deal to do and not much time to do it,

so I better be going Miss Hayes, Mr. Addison.

Talk about going out with a whimper.

But don't you feel good? I feel good. It's nice to know

that because of what we did, because of the work we did,

right now a phone call is being made.

Plans are being put into motion.

Because of us, some friendly dignitary's life is gonna be saved.

Some international incident avoided.

- Say that again. - All of it?

No, just the part about a phone call.

- What phone call? - Exactly, what phone call?

This guy's racing to find out who's gonna be assassinated

at a state dinner in just a few hours. He finds out...

- He doesn't make the phone call, why? - Maybe he doesn't trust

our phone. Maybe he thinks it's bugged?

Maybe he didn't need to know who's being killed to save him.

Maybe he needed to know who's being killed so he could kill him.

- What are you doing for dinner tonight? - What do yo mean?

Feel like a little Chinese?

Name please?

- David Addison. - Madelyn Hayes.

I'm sorry but you're not on the guest list.

That's because we're not guests.

We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose.

- A mole on his nose? - A mole on his nose.

- What kind of clothes? - What kind of clothes?

What kind of clothes do you suppose?

What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn

by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?

Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose,

the man that we're seeking with a mole on his nose

I'm not sure of his clothes or anything else,

except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself.

- How do you do that? - I got to read a lot of Dr. Seuss.

I'm sorry to say, I'm sad to report, I haven't seen anyone of that sort.

Not a man who's Chinese with a mole on his nose

with some kind of clothes that you can't suppose.

So, get away from this door and get out of this place

or I'll have to hurt you, put my foot in your face.

- Oh. - Time to go.

Time to go.

Addison.

- Come on, Maddie, time's a wasting. - I'm not coming out.

What do you mean, "you're not coming out?" You have to come out.

How are we gonna get in that banquet if you don't come out?

- This is humiliating. - It is not humiliating.

Serving food and drink to people is not humiliating.

It's an important job.

A vital link in nature's food chain.

I'm talking about that. I'm talking about this.

- What about it? - Where's the rest of it?

What are you talking about?

I think you look terrific.

I think all of you looks terrific.

You leave any room in there for tips?

- That's it! - Come on, come on.

I'm sorry. You're right. But we have no choice.

Just remember, you're dressed like that for America...

and I, for one, salute you.

Salute you, Addison.

That's good. I like that.

Okay, ready? Look waitery.

I said to him, "Bubba, I don't care what country you're from.

In America, we eat with our forks."

So now that we're here, what do we do?

Look for the CIA guy or the Chinese guy with a mole on his nose.

- And if one of us finds one of them? - Holler.

- Watch it. - You watch it.

May I have more champagne, please?

- The mole. - Picture, please.

- You. What are you doing here? - Me?

I'm here tonight because

we've replaced this banquet hall's real coffee

with frozen crystals.

Maddie!

David!

- What are you doing? - Nothing, I've been clean for years!

Why does everybody keep asking me that?

Whoa!

Hey!

- Whoa! - Dear!

See that?

Who says you can't bring the countries of the world together,

resolve our differences in a civilized and orderly way?

Whoa!

♪ Some walk by night ♪

♪ Some fly by day ♪

♪ Nothing could change you ♪

♪ Set and sure of the way ♪