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Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"...

Alice.

- She's just a friend. - Nobody looks at their friend like that.

Just tell me how you feel.

What's our goal here?

Dig up dirt on Brett.

- What'd he do? - Your wife.

Someone stole the quilt,

but I will get that thing back.

How did we get here, Birdie?

We were so freaked out.

Everything just got out of control so fast.

We got to get gas.

With a dead person in the trunk?

I've never heard of anyone getting killed

the way that you just described.

Show me.

Maybe I will take that light.

Every garden needs to be

left fallow for a season.

You let the soil rest

so it can come back stronger in the spring.

It's the only way for the garden

to transition from death to new life.

Keith!

Oh, my God.

Check his pulse.

Uh, help me put pressure on the wounds.

Ugh!

Oh, there's so much blood.

Keith!

Keith, wake up!

I can't find a pulse.

Keith! Come on, move.

- There's no pulse. - Oh, my God!

Just keep... keep putting pressure!

I am, I am!

Keith, come on. Move something, just anything!

- Guys. - Oh, my God!

Oh, God. Oh, please, please...

- Guys. - Please, please, please.

Oh, please. Oh, God, please. Oh, no.

- Why don't you do CPR? - It's too late.

Or what about those, um...

the... the paddle thingies?

That doesn't put the blood back in people.

- No, no, no. - He's gone.

- No! - Oh, God.

Call 911.

- OK. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let's think about this.

Think about what?

What we're gonna say.

What?

"Send an ambulance."

- I mean about what happened. - It was an accident!

Yeah, well, it doesn't look like one.

But it was.

Our prints are all over his body.

Because we are trying to save him.

Or we pushed him.

What? That didn't happen!

Tell that to a jury.

We're on trial now?

We will be if we don't think this through.

But it's the right thing to do.

OK, then what?

With the quilt and the wood chipper?

I mean, at best, it's manslaughter.

Like, we literally slaughtered a man.

On accident!

That still puts us behind bars!

Yeah, you want to never see your kids again?

Oh.

- Alice. - Fine.

Yeah, I'll call.

No.

Alice, wait.

Alice. Alice.

Wait, wait.

What did you tell Patty?

Huh?

To get her down here.

What did you text her?

First, I said,

"Get your ass down to Mack Avenue Garden Center."

OK, that's not so bad.

I mean, it's a little aggro, but...

And then I might have said,

"I'm gonna take away what you love the most."

Oh, no.

Jesus!

I meant the quilt.

But it sounds like her husband.

There goes manslaughter.

Now what do we do?

She hasn't read it yet.

She will when the cops wake her up

to say her husband's dead.

We can't call anyone else.

We can't. We can't.

But he's my father-in-law!

I have to.

Either way, we're going to his funeral.

Oh!

You want to go to jail too?

Ugh.

I don't think I want to garden anymore.

Why me?

If we get pulled over, you're the drunk friend

who needs a ride home.

Are you sure we shouldn't just try the lake?

No, better to hide in plain sight.

Please.

Garden makes the most sense.

Yeah, we decide what gets planted.

And how deep.

Oh, it's Addie.

Don't answer it.

What if it's an emergency?

Sweetie, it's too late for iPad.

Daddy didn't close my closet.

Addison.

The monster's gonna get me.

Monsters don't hide in the closet.

Where are they?

Nowhere I'll ever let you be.

When are you coming home?

Soon, baby.

Come home now.

Only if you go to sleep.

OK, Mommy. Love you.

I love you so much.

OK.

No more FaceTimes.

Purses, phones... put them in here.

Showtime, drunk friend.

I know this might sound weird,

but...

try to take care of him.

We will.

Hey, it's Lexi. Leave a message.

Hey, baby.

It's me.

I know you said you needed some space,

but I meant to congratulate you on all your new followers.

People are really eating up all your bartending content.

Also, couldn't help but notice you got

a lot of men following you.

But hey, you're a fierce woman.

If any of those creeps slide into your DMs,

I know you'll be smart about it.

Anyway, it's looking like a slow night.

So if you get bored or anything, hit me up.

Whatever.

Bye.

Hey, man.

Help us out?

What do you need?

Beer.

Yeah, my buddy and I forgot our IDs at home.

I don't know, I could get arrested.

Come on.

We'll give you some.

I don't drink.

OK.

What about weed?

Do I look like I do drugs?

Uh...

Well, you don't look like you'd turn them down.

That's funny.

Just get the hell out of here, all right?

Y'all are spoiled pricks.

Go.

- Let's go, dude. - All right, dude.

Good God!

Dude, am I crazy,

or did that guy smell hella good?

I thought the same thing, yo!

Like... like cologne but super fancy.

Hey, let's try this asswipe.

Hey, lady!

Bro, that's your fake mom.

Stick it back under the brick.

This is bananas.

No matter what happens, she can never read that text.

OK, so Keith came downstairs to make a quesadilla.

It has to be here somewhere.

- Right there. - Oh.

Um, try Doug's birthday.

092591.

- Oh, God damn it. - Think.

Maybe... maybe her street address.

That's not enough numbers.

Honey, what are you doing?

You better not be eating again.

Alice, wh...

What are you doing?

I let myself in.

I didn't mean to scare you.

What time is it?

Late.

Is Doug here?

Uh, no, no.

We sent him to the cabin.

Uh, I was...

I was worried.

Ah, well, don't be.

His dad is, uh... is joining him tomorrow.

Is Keith's car in the driveway?

I didn't see it.

That man is always

at some fast-food drive-through,

stuffing his face, thinking I won't wake up.

Well, since no one's sleeping, how about some tea?

I... I feel terrible, uh...

About what happened tonight.

Well, it was embarrassing for everyone.

Is Doug OK?

You really care?

He's still my husband.

Then let's talk honestly for once.

OK.

You can't fake a marriage, Alice.

Doug means everything to me.

That doesn't mean there isn't some tiny bit

of room for someone else.

I've never cheated, Patty.

But if you stay in this game long enough,

then there's bound to be another man

who gets you better than your husband.

How'd it go?

Let's just get out of here.

What if we had to make a slight detour first?

What?

OK, so remember when you were in high school

and your parents were like,

"If you ever get drunk at a party,

"we'd rather you call us and drive home,

and we promise you won't get punished."

And then you fall for it and you get grounded

for, like, a month.

And then that's, like, the last time you ever

call them for anything ever again.

What?

Are you kidding?

They're out here wasted, trying to buy beer.

Why is that our problem?

Because he could get arrested.

I'm sorry, but how is that

more important than us going to prison?

Because I want him to know that he can count on me.

Or you could just get a new garden intern.

He might be more than just a garden intern.

That's not what's going on.

Come on.

Wife to wife.

No.

So you mean to tell me

that you have no feelings whatsoever for your friend?

Not even a pang?

Patty!

Oh, come on.

I mean, let's just lay the cards on the table.

OK, you're right.

Which part?

Maybe there is something else with Brett

that, um, I've just ignored.

Mm-hmm.

All this real talk is making me hungry.

You want a burger?

Keith says that calories don't really count

between midnight and 8:00 a.m., so...

Oh, you know what? I...

I can't read a damn thing without my glasses.

Uh, OK.

Don't get old, Alice!

Uh, so what do you want?

I'm good.

Oh, you mean to tell me

you don't do fries with that metabolism?

I'm just exhausted.

Well, marriage will do that to you, Alice.

Look, it's long and hard and complicated.

But if you're faking it, you're not in it.

I'm in it, Patty.

It took me a long time

to appreciate what I have in Keith.

Uh, you'll never know

how sorry I am about what happened tonight.

Don't waste all that time if it isn't right.

OK.

But I might leave him if he doesn't text me back

about those fries.

Thank you.

Never let 'em see you yawn, brother.

Yeah, well, overnights are kicking my ass.

You got to embrace it.

You got to be one with the darkness.

We're not killing vampires.

We're babysitting drunks.

If that's how you want to see it.

Well, it's not gonna get me to division chief.

You got half the town at that charity event tonight.

So what?

Well, think about it.

You got a bunch of rich people all being rich together.

What is the worst that can happen?

Oh, come on, man.

Listen, every case that comes through that door

could be the one to get your feet on the ladder.

Lady witnessed some kind of fight at the gala.

Two guys trashed the place.

See?

There you go.

Our crew is counting on us.

Not my problem.

We can't show up empty-handed.

Dude, your mom's fire.

I think your friend's had enough to drink.

You're en fuegotoo.

Lovely.

All I'm saying is,

I think there's a real opportunity here.

This is your moment to decide

what kind of mom you want to be:

lame mom or cool mom.

How about just mom?

Lame.

- Oh, my God! - There's a phone.

Yeah. It's how calls work.

Who's Wifey?

Uh, just a friend.

Who you call Wifey?

What do we do?

Send it to voicemail.

Whose car is this?

Guys, I don't feel too good.

Open the window!

It's locked.

Uh...

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Did you guys steal this car?

One six-pack.

I'm solid.

All right.

They should be here by now.

Oh, God.

What do we do?

Just hold our breath.

Hey, it's Lexi. Leave a message.

Hey, Lexi.

Stop stalking me.

All you have to do is pick up your phone.

Did you put another tracker on my car?

Yeah, that's what I do for a living.

Go back to work.

Hey, everything OK here?

None of your business, tough guy.

He's my boss.

I'll be inside if you need me.

Why are you working so late on a school night?

Because I can't pay tuition, Dad.

What about that birthday check I sent you?

That covered, like, one book.

How much do you need?

Don't worry about it.

That's why I'm here, because I worry about you.

Awesome.

I'll get you a World's Greatest Dad T-shirt.

Just give me another shot.

Bourbon or tequila?

I'm not that person anymore.

Oh? You moved on to scotch.

OK.

OK.

Fair enough.

Truce, please?

Fine.

How much is tuition?

You can't afford it.

That's my problem, not yours.

Just don't break my heart again.

I'm sorry about your car.

Oh. That's OK. I don't...

OK.

Thank you.

Or whosever it is.

How you getting home?

Uh, I've been crashing here for a little while, actually.

Why?

My mom's pissed at me.

What'd you do this time?

I told her that I want to hang with you more.

Oh.

I'd like that.

Thanks for being so cool.

OK.

- Love you. - What?

Oh, no. Not in a weird way.

- That was like a... - Oh, no, yeah.

Hey, man. Love you.

- Yeah. Yeah, I got it. - You get it. OK, I'm gonna go.

OK.

Nice.

Dude, she got us nonalcoholic.

Bro!

I'm sorry about all that.

It's OK.

I didn't know what to do.

You did what any good mom would do.

You really think we're gonna get away with all this?

We don't have a choice.

I mean, even if they did get pulled over for something,

it doesn't mean they got arrested.

But if they didn't get arrested,

why wouldn't they be here?

Oh, man.

Let's say we get through this.

OK.

Then what?

What do you mean?

How... how are we supposed to wake up tomorrow

and make breakfast with this seared in our brains?

I don't know.

Here's an omelet, Doug.

Would you like a fork,

like the pickax that was in your dad?

Or maybe a spoon to shovel some sugar over your cereal,

like the... the dirt that I dumped on your dad?

You guys eat big breakfasts.

Patty was right about me.

The same woman who shot your dog.

God.

You're a good friend.

Oh, thank God.

Wait, that's not them.

What do you mean?

It's a cop.

Oh!

Oh!

This is not good.

Here.

- Go with it. - What?

Attention, lovebirds.

This is private property.

So you don't have to go home,

but you should go home.

Did you mean what you said to Patty?

Does it matter?

Kinda.

Our lives are already a mess.

Just answer the question.

And then what?

I don't know.

What, we pretend like... like I'm not married

and that we're not about to bury my father-in-law?

- It's about time. - Uh...

What are we gonna do about their car?

All right.

We take it to one of those chop shops downtown.

Parts get sold off across the country.

What about DNA?

We'll strip the fabric from the trunk.

That, uh... that only takes care of the blood.

What about the back seat?

Who was in the back seat?

Dude.

Oh, God! It's everywhere.

Wifey.

Oh, God, it's Patty again.

You got to text her something.

No.

OK, her next call is gonna be to the cops.

What do I say?

Whatever buys us the most time.

It's not the worst thing we've done tonight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll do it together, OK?

Yeah.

Wait, where's the phone?

And where's Birdie?

- We made a deal. - I know.

No more secrets.

Have you been up all night?

Still can't sleep.

You're gonna pass out during your soccer game today.

Not if the monsters eat me first.

OK.

Where are they?

Sorry.

Just your jacket.

Did you check under the bed?

No.

Oh, they love it down there.

Puppy.

I've been looking for him.

Yeah.

Can I ask you something?

Mm-hmm.

Why would a monster want to eat you?

I did something bad.

Everyone does bad things.

I spilled my juice box on Daddy's laptop.

Oh.

Well, that sounds like an accident.

But I blamed Julie.

Well, what did Daddy say?

We need a new babysitter.

He was just upset.

Should I tell him it was me?

Well...

It won't fix his laptop.

Just because you do a bad thing

doesn't make you a bad person.

Can I help you, ma'am?

I'm here to see Joel.

Are you a friend?

I was.

Follow me.

Come on. Open up. Zoe has to go to the bathroom.

Hey!

Come here.

Daddy, I got to pee.

- I can't breathe. - I know.

I just missed you guys.

You just saw them yesterday.

OK, OK.

Wow!

How late were you out?

Oh, uh, you know, lost track.

Oh.

Who were you with?

Uh, friends.

Who?

I don't even remember.

I had a lot to drink.

Is that why you pulled me on the dance floor?

Huh?

Because you were so drunk?

I'm just, like...

really freaked out.

Yeah.

Me too.

Melissa...

That doesn't mean that we can't...

like, try again.

Um...

maybe we shouldn't just jump into this.

What's that mean?

Uh, it's complicated.

OK?

Well, you seemed to have it all figured out last night.

Well, I'm not in the best place right now.

Are you serious?

It wouldn't be fair to you.

You know, I just...

I kind of can't understand what changed literally overnight.

Nothing I could ever explain.

OK.

Thanks for the update.

No, wait.

No, you know, you don't have to do the whole, like,

"it's not you, it's me" thing.

I... I get it.

No, I highly doubt that.

Come on.

It was a stupid idea anyways.

Why?

We were never gonna fix something this broken, right?

Marilyn?

Whoa, just slow... slow down.

Slow down, OK?

What?

No, I haven't listened to your voicemail yet.

I... oh, my God.

OK, OK, OK.

I'm coming.

My friends and I sort of murdered someone.

Show me.

All right.

Let's do this.

Now?

Would you rather wait till the store is open?

We cleaned everything.

Trust me...

there's always evidence.

I really don't want to go back there.

Oh, I'm sorry, but, uh...

I'm really gonna need you to walk me through it.

Can't I just tell you how to get inside?

Homicide's still gonna need your statement.

Why do we need to involve them?

Because that's what happens

when you're charged with murder.

I was sort of hoping that

we could keep this just between the two of us.

Let me get this straight.

You rip out my heart,

and now you expect me to help you?

Can't I just owe you a favor?

You then spiked it on the ground

while it was still barely beating

and then you stomped all over it for sport.

OK, I could have handled that differently.

Yeah, I've got notes.

I needed to make sure that you wouldn't come back.

Mission accomplished.

Because I would have wanted you to.

And then we would have had tons of hot sex

because there is no other kind with us.

And then I would have felt terrible

and broken up with you again,

and then more hot sex,

except now it's even hotter because you're mad.

And the cycle just repeats itself over and over again,

like a snake eating its tail.

And what is wrong with that?

- It's not fair! - To who?

Everyone!

You know you could have just broken up with me

over a text like a normal person.

There's nothing normal about this, Joel.

Mm.

It's good you came in first.

The DA will take it easy,

and you'll do less time than your friends.

I can't sell them out.

It's the only way to avoid a long sentence.

I can't do that either.

You might surprise yourself.

They've got toilet wine.

I can't have our baby behind bars.

I probably would have covered up a murder for you anyway.

That's not the only reason I told you.

How the hell are we gonna do this?

I don't know.

But I know I only want to do it with you.

And you're 100% sure that It's...

Oh, God!

Nothing happened with my ex.

But you're such a good liar.

Well, then why don't you give me that polygraph?

They only had decaf freshly brewed.

My fave.

Um, thank you so much for meeting me on short notice.

I didn't know if you'd be hungry.

Oh, maybe later.

So this is gonna sound a little bit strange.

The guy that you've been following for my husband.

My boy Brett.

What exactly have you found on him?

Not a damn thing.

Oh.

- Oh, sorry. - Oh, no, do your chair.

No, I don't have to.

Did you get any sleep?

No.

Think we'll ever be the same?

Maybe someday.

I meant us.

Oh, hey.

Has anyone heard from Birdie?

Just goes straight to voicemail.

And why is Marilyn calling a goddamn meeting so early?

Shouldn't she be at home with her goddamn cat?

How are we ever gonna get the quilt back?

We're not.

How are we ever gonna get that phone back?

We're not.

There's just no way this ends well.

Everything leads back to us.

When a garden goes fallow,

it may seem like there's nothing to do.

Even though it just looks like a bunch of empty soil,

it's actually the most crucial time.

The slightest misstep,

like adding too much fertilizer,

can create problems for generations to come.

Looks like she bought it.

So we dump it in some frozen lake by their cabin?

No, he's not going ice fishing.

Where is he going?

Shopping.

For what?

His new life.

That's why you have to be willing

to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty.

Whatever it takes to protect the garden you love.

Good news, baby.

I found a way to get you that tuition.

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