All language subtitles for The.Office.US.S01E04.1080p.AMZN.WEB.x264-MRSK

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,398 - Michael ! - Oh god, Dwight come on ! 2 00:00:38,402 --> 00:00:39,884 I wanted to talk to you about the downsizing. 3 00:00:39,975 --> 00:00:41,369 There's no downsizing. 4 00:00:41,555 --> 00:00:44,042 But if there were, I'd be protected as assistant regional manager ? 5 00:00:44,054 --> 00:00:47,070 - Assistant to the regional manager Dwight. - Yeah, so I don't have to worry ? 6 00:00:47,196 --> 00:00:49,627 Look look look, I talked to corporate, 7 00:00:49,887 --> 00:00:52,397 About protecting the sales staff and they said they couldn't guarantee it 8 00:00:52,415 --> 00:00:55,936 If there's downsizing. Ok ? But, there's no downsizing. 9 00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:58,628 Bottom line. Do I need to be worried ? 10 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,662 Maybe. 11 00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,412 It looks like there's gonna be downsizing. 12 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,292 That is part of my job, but... 13 00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,061 I hate it 14 00:01:08,245 --> 00:01:11,128 I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump 15 00:01:11,135 --> 00:01:15,687 Is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired" 16 00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:18,508 "You're fired", "you're fired". 17 00:01:19,385 --> 00:01:20,701 He just makes people sad. 18 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,887 And an office can't function that way. 19 00:01:23,025 --> 00:01:24,864 No way. "You're fired". 20 00:01:25,315 --> 00:01:27,341 I think that if I had a catch phrase it would be, 21 00:01:27,415 --> 00:01:30,656 "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want". 22 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,736 But that's unrealistic so... 23 00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:37,910 It's a real shame, 24 00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:40,663 cause studies have shown that more information get passed through, 25 00:01:40,693 --> 00:01:42,738 water cooler gossips than through official memos, 26 00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:46,483 Which puts me in a disadvantage because 27 00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:49,162 I bring my own water to work. 28 00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:52,108 - Why did you do this ? - I didn't do it. 29 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,522 What do you mean ? 30 00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:56,976 The water cooler was brought over here for... 31 00:01:57,405 --> 00:01:58,712 Maintenance. 32 00:01:58,775 --> 00:02:00,776 So why are you guys here ? 33 00:02:01,095 --> 00:02:03,240 What's the schedule bud'? 34 00:02:05,175 --> 00:02:08,381 Gets that, for operation moral improvement, 35 00:02:08,555 --> 00:02:10,451 Starring Michael Scott. 36 00:02:10,577 --> 00:02:12,840 Now I think I had a little stroke of genius, 37 00:02:12,905 --> 00:02:15,612 in that I have had my assistant Pam, 38 00:02:15,645 --> 00:02:19,162 smile Pam, I have had her go out and find out whose birthday, 39 00:02:19,385 --> 00:02:22,463 is coming up, so we can have a little celebration for it. 40 00:02:22,665 --> 00:02:24,641 Not bad, not bad at all, all right. 41 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,464 And the birthday person is : Drum roll please.... 44 00:02:41,484 --> 00:02:44,433 - Next person on the calendar. - Ok. 45 00:02:45,024 --> 00:02:47,049 - That would be Meredith. - Yes all right. 46 00:02:47,715 --> 00:02:51,720 - Come on down Meredith ! - But it's not until next month. 47 00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:53,435 Ok. 48 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,329 Great ! you know, it will be a surprise. 49 00:02:57,905 --> 00:03:01,011 - You still want to have a party ? - Yeah why not, sure, 50 00:03:01,172 --> 00:03:03,140 go ahead ! Lead a little. Come on Pam. 51 00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:05,725 Come on shake it up, shake it in. 52 00:03:06,361 --> 00:03:07,654 Shake it up. 53 00:03:10,907 --> 00:03:13,114 Spok, is there any signs of life down there ? 54 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,937 Well, let me check captain. 55 00:03:20,194 --> 00:03:22,181 No captain no signs of life down there. 56 00:03:22,825 --> 00:03:25,230 Just a wet blanket, named Pam. 57 00:03:29,995 --> 00:03:31,519 Star Trek. 58 00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:34,828 Well for decorations maybe we could... 59 00:03:35,812 --> 00:03:37,818 - Stupid forget it. - What ? 60 00:03:38,764 --> 00:03:41,279 I was just gonna say maybe we could have streamers but, 61 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,172 that's dumb. Everybody have streamers. 62 00:03:43,789 --> 00:03:46,375 - Never mind - No, yeah, I think that's a good idea. 63 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,766 What color do you guys think ? 64 00:03:49,615 --> 00:03:51,497 Well there's green. 65 00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:53,778 Blue. 66 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,505 Yellow. 67 00:03:56,334 --> 00:03:57,878 - Red. - How about green ? 68 00:03:58,553 --> 00:04:00,482 I think green is kind of whorish. 69 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,286 This was tough. 70 00:04:02,383 --> 00:04:04,389 I suggested we flip a coin. 71 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,177 But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. 72 00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:11,180 Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her. 73 00:04:12,357 --> 00:04:15,193 These are my party planning biatches, 74 00:04:15,675 --> 00:04:17,682 Pulled off an amazing eighties party last year. 75 00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:19,524 "Off the hook" ! 76 00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:22,805 So I was thinking, if you haven't already got the cake... 77 00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:25,620 Maybe going for one of those ice cream cakes from Baskin Robbins... 78 00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:27,521 they're very good. Very delicious. 79 00:04:27,656 --> 00:04:29,720 Meredith is allergic to dairy so... 80 00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,860 She's not the only one that's gonna be eating right ? 81 00:04:32,903 --> 00:04:34,968 I think everybody likes ice cream cake. 82 00:04:36,328 --> 00:04:38,045 It's not, not just about her so... 83 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:40,283 - It's her birthday. - Milk chocolate chip ! 84 00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:41,681 Would be good. 85 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:49,996 Hey, so listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea... 86 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:52,706 if you and I formed an alliance. 87 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,584 Because of the downsizing. 88 00:04:56,661 --> 00:04:58,503 I think an alliance might be a good idea. 89 00:04:58,581 --> 00:05:00,298 You know, help each other out. 90 00:05:02,941 --> 00:05:05,044 Do you want to form an alliance ? 91 00:05:05,661 --> 00:05:07,359 With me ? 92 00:05:09,428 --> 00:05:11,627 - Absolutely I do. - Good, good. 93 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:14,449 Excellent, ok, now we need to figure out who's vulnerable... 94 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,078 who's protected the... 95 00:05:16,132 --> 00:05:18,254 At that moment I was just so happy. 96 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,032 I mean everything Dwight does, annoys me. 97 00:05:21,148 --> 00:05:23,155 Did you get your tickets ? 98 00:05:23,483 --> 00:05:24,775 To what ? 99 00:05:24,852 --> 00:05:26,685 The gun show. 100 00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:33,987 And I spend... 101 00:05:34,064 --> 00:05:36,418 hours thinking of ways to get back at him... 102 00:05:36,813 --> 00:05:38,916 but only ways that would get me arrested. 103 00:05:39,022 --> 00:05:43,276 Then here he comes and he says "no, Jim, here's a way". 104 00:05:44,564 --> 00:05:46,493 Just one other thing and this is important. 105 00:05:46,618 --> 00:05:48,606 Let's keep this alliance totally a secret. 106 00:05:49,551 --> 00:05:50,265 Yeah. 107 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,271 Don't tell anyone. 108 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,220 - An alliance ? - Oh, yeah. 109 00:05:54,316 --> 00:05:55,678 What does that even mean ? 110 00:05:55,685 --> 00:05:58,416 I think it has something to do with "survivor", but I'm not sure. 111 00:06:00,104 --> 00:06:04,213 I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam. 112 00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:06,519 Jim ? Hey, Hi Pam. 113 00:06:06,765 --> 00:06:10,590 Can I talk to you a second about the paper products ? 114 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,358 - Did you tell Pam about the alliance ? - No ! 115 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,036 - Just now ! - Oh no, no, no ! 116 00:06:15,172 --> 00:06:17,255 Dwight no. I'm using her... 117 00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:20,313 for the alliance, who knows the most information about this office ? 118 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,442 - Pam ! Right. - That's good, good, pursue this ! 119 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,663 I'm trying to,. Do you see what I'm doing ? 120 00:06:24,799 --> 00:06:26,824 But listen, I'm gonna have to talk to her a lot. 121 00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,534 All right, there might chatting, and giggling, 122 00:06:29,619 --> 00:06:32,025 And you got to just pretend to ignore it, wipe it away. 123 00:06:32,071 --> 00:06:33,961 Done ! All right. 124 00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,801 Can you get her, she's right there. That is Meredith. 125 00:06:43,419 --> 00:06:45,116 The birthday girl. 126 00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:47,068 And this... 127 00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:49,563 Is Meredith card. "Happy Bird-day." 128 00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:54,329 Let's see... Jim. 129 00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:59,094 Jim wrote : "Meredith I heard you're turning forty-six but come on... 130 00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:01,882 You're an accountant, just fudge the numbers" 131 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,061 Not bad, pretty funny. 132 00:07:04,076 --> 00:07:06,719 I don't appreciate condoning corporate fraud though. 133 00:07:07,935 --> 00:07:10,163 Here's the thing, whatever I write here... 134 00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:13,144 has to be really really funny. 135 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,507 Because people out there are expecting it. 136 00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:18,034 I've already set the bar really high. 137 00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,426 And they're all worried about their jobs, 138 00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:22,361 you know, it's kind of dark out there. 139 00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:25,027 Can you imagine if I wrote something like : 140 00:07:25,239 --> 00:07:28,133 "Meredith, happy birthday... 141 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,029 you're great, love Michael". 142 00:07:38,389 --> 00:07:40,415 They seem awfully chummy. Don't you think ? 143 00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:42,759 Yeah, what do you think that's about ? 144 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:45,151 Only one way to find out. 145 00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:47,331 Come on. 146 00:07:49,357 --> 00:07:52,415 - You are not going to believe this. - What ? I believe it. 147 00:07:52,618 --> 00:07:55,608 - Well, tensions were high in the kitchen. - I can tell from the body language. 148 00:07:55,786 --> 00:07:58,550 - That looks good, what is it, turkey ? - Italian. 149 00:07:59,466 --> 00:08:01,589 Oh Italian ! Nice. Wow. 150 00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:05,148 Get the works there. Red onion, provolone... 151 00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:06,064 Yeah. 152 00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:08,582 Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off. 153 00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:10,436 Good ! Let them, That's fine it helps our cause. 154 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:13,222 Well I don't know. Because if Kevin is in accounting... 155 00:08:13,265 --> 00:08:16,261 and Toby is in human resources... and they're talking ? 156 00:08:16,293 --> 00:08:17,471 They're forming an alliance. 157 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,753 - I love their sandwich. - I love their sandwich too. 158 00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:22,815 - Their bread is really good. - Their bread is very good. 159 00:08:23,124 --> 00:08:25,053 Damn it ! God ! 160 00:08:25,935 --> 00:08:27,484 God ! 161 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:31,931 Ok, listen. 162 00:08:32,182 --> 00:08:35,421 We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance. 163 00:08:35,462 --> 00:08:37,285 And is therefore trying to get us kicked out. 164 00:08:37,449 --> 00:08:39,773 Damn it, why us ? 165 00:08:40,073 --> 00:08:42,484 Because we're strong Dwight, because we're strong. 166 00:08:43,371 --> 00:08:44,791 Meredith, Meredith... 167 00:08:44,835 --> 00:08:47,153 "Mary had a little lamb"... 168 00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,617 Meredith had a little lamb, 169 00:08:49,627 --> 00:08:52,198 don't bring that lamb to work or it'll poop on the floor... 170 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,716 Hey ! Oscar ! Come on in. What's up ? 171 00:08:54,976 --> 00:08:57,189 - I'm sorry to bother you. - No not at all come on in. 172 00:08:57,232 --> 00:09:00,435 - What's going on ? - My nephew is involved with... 173 00:09:01,014 --> 00:09:03,444 With charity for Cerebral Palsy, 174 00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:05,952 And I was wondering if maybe you would like to. 175 00:09:07,553 --> 00:09:09,444 - You know, if... - What ? 176 00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,180 A donate to the charity. 177 00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:13,245 Oh God !'Course I would. 178 00:09:13,891 --> 00:09:16,669 Get it over here ! Get that over here. 179 00:09:16,968 --> 00:09:19,206 - Thank you. - No I'm always good... 180 00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:23,470 For some serious buckage. Wow ! Two dollars, three dollars ? 181 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:26,846 People out here, do not care about... 182 00:09:27,849 --> 00:09:28,910 diseases. 183 00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:32,325 I'm going to give you twenty five dollars. 184 00:09:33,984 --> 00:09:35,562 That's... 185 00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:38,302 - That's, that's very generous. - Oh my gosh, well. 186 00:09:38,765 --> 00:09:42,932 Listen Oscar, generosity and togetherness, and community... 187 00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:46,600 all convalescences into... 188 00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:48,973 Moral. 189 00:09:49,098 --> 00:09:51,355 That's what I say, so... 190 00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:57,085 - Hey Jim, can I talk to you for second ? - Sure, what's up ? 191 00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:00,538 I don't know I'm just going a little crazy... 192 00:10:00,692 --> 00:10:03,258 cause I keep overhearing all these conversations... 193 00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:07,744 between Michael and corporate about like staff issues. 194 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:10,714 - Oh no ! - Yeah. He's making me take notes 195 00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:14,129 on his meetings, and I'm like, these people are my friends. 196 00:10:14,225 --> 00:10:15,653 - Right. - But he's all like 197 00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:18,286 this is confidential you can't tell anybody but..." 198 00:10:19,058 --> 00:10:20,978 I don't know I just feel like I want to... 199 00:10:21,057 --> 00:10:23,271 Just promise me you're gonna say anything. 200 00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:25,736 - I will not. I'm not gonna tell anybody - Ok. 201 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,725 - It's between you and me. - Yeah. 202 00:10:31,642 --> 00:10:33,166 Jackpot. 203 00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:35,587 That was beautiful. All her idea, too. 204 00:10:36,132 --> 00:10:37,676 Awesome. 205 00:10:37,716 --> 00:10:39,856 She's so great. 206 00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,611 Meredith bad-breath. Meredith has bad breath. 207 00:10:45,325 --> 00:10:47,274 - Hey - Hey 208 00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,606 - You wanted to see me ? - Yeah. What do you know about Meredith ? 209 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,984 I don't think she'd be missed. 210 00:10:53,042 --> 00:10:55,241 There's not going to be downsizing Dwight, ok ? 211 00:10:55,262 --> 00:10:57,894 I just, I need to know a little bit more about... 212 00:10:58,627 --> 00:11:00,248 My friend. 213 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,676 Name : Meredith Palmer. 214 00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:04,367 Personal information : divorced twice, two kids. 215 00:11:05,042 --> 00:11:06,932 Employer : Dundler Mifflin Paper Incorporated. 216 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,692 - Awards : multiple "Dundies". - I know that, I know, 217 00:11:09,727 --> 00:11:12,472 I just, I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. 218 00:11:12,501 --> 00:11:15,496 - Kind of fun, inside. - She had a hysterectomy. 219 00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:19,529 - Which one is that again ? - That's when they remove the uterus. 220 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,130 Ho, God ! Dwight no ! 221 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:24,733 I'm trying to write something funny here ok ? 222 00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:26,512 What am I gonna do with a removed uterus ? 223 00:11:26,609 --> 00:11:29,984 - It can be kind of funny. - You know what, I'm on a deadline here, 224 00:11:30,115 --> 00:11:32,642 And just, ok, thanks, thanks for your help, 225 00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:35,440 I'll work it out, thank you Dwight. 226 00:11:37,658 --> 00:11:39,482 That wasn't a waste of time. 227 00:11:40,813 --> 00:11:42,269 Ok, here's the deal, all right. 228 00:11:42,597 --> 00:11:44,758 Pam says that one of the alliances is meeting... 229 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,430 - In the warehouse during Meredith birthday. - Oh, my god we have to be there. 230 00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:48,945 I know ! But it's going to be a little tough 231 00:11:48,966 --> 00:11:51,442 - Because there's no good place to hide. - No no ! Yes there is. 232 00:11:51,539 --> 00:11:53,777 - Behind the shells. Oh my god. - What ? What ? What ? 233 00:11:54,086 --> 00:11:56,825 - I know. I know exactly what to do. - Great. 234 00:11:57,336 --> 00:11:59,439 I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. 235 00:12:00,201 --> 00:12:03,192 One thing about deer. They have very good vision. 236 00:12:03,713 --> 00:12:05,893 One thing about me... 237 00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:09,828 I'm better at hiding than they are at vision. 238 00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:14,208 It's gonna be perfect, ok ? Centrally located, 239 00:12:14,362 --> 00:12:16,465 Perfect cover, I can hear and see everything. 240 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,298 Good. 241 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,610 - Michael ? - Just a sec. 242 00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:20,536 - Are you done yet ? - Almost there. 243 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:22,629 Ok. Just a second. It is perfect. 244 00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:25,465 Thank you, excellent, here we go. 245 00:12:26,043 --> 00:12:29,005 It is time, thank you, ok come one ! Let's go ! Get the cake, let's go. 246 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,117 Here we go ! Come on come on come on ! 247 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,047 Be quiet. 248 00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:35,164 Wait this isn't gonna work. The lid is open. 249 00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:37,344 - So tape it down. - I can't do that, 250 00:12:37,479 --> 00:12:41,019 - then you won't be able to breathe. - I can breathe just fine, ok ? 251 00:12:41,058 --> 00:12:43,486 But if it makes you feel better, I'll poke holes in the box. 252 00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:46,141 - Thank you. Thank you, - Ok. 253 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,100 Surprise ! 254 00:12:51,524 --> 00:12:53,878 - Surprise ! - No, it's... 255 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,829 It's surprise Meredith ! One, Two. 256 00:12:57,119 --> 00:13:00,630 Happy birthday to you 257 00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:02,772 - Find the key. - Happy birthday. 258 00:13:03,148 --> 00:13:06,659 So you want me to stay here, and stand next to the box. 259 00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,649 No, you need to go upstairs to the party. 260 00:13:09,977 --> 00:13:13,209 - So people don't notice we're both gone. - Right. That's good. 261 00:13:13,402 --> 00:13:15,620 Can I trust Jim ? I don't know. 262 00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,456 Do I have a choice ? No. 263 00:13:18,572 --> 00:13:21,031 Frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim ? Yes. 264 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,100 Should I trust Jim ? 265 00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:25,749 You tell me. 266 00:13:25,903 --> 00:13:28,768 Happy birthday to you, Meredith... 267 00:13:28,961 --> 00:13:35,154 Happy birthday to you, and many more 268 00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:43,625 - You were surprised weren't you ? - Yes. 269 00:13:43,634 --> 00:13:46,141 You looked freaked, man, when we said surprise 270 00:13:46,469 --> 00:13:49,729 You were like, "what ? What the hell is going on here ? 271 00:13:50,945 --> 00:13:53,376 - Ice cake. Why don't you have some ? - I can't. 272 00:13:53,742 --> 00:13:55,978 - Come on, a little bit, a little bit. - No I can't eat dairy. 273 00:13:56,019 --> 00:13:58,478 Oh right. Oh god too bad it's so good. 274 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,244 That makes me sick. 275 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,658 You know what if I were allergic to dairy I think I'd kill myself. 276 00:14:04,941 --> 00:14:07,218 This is way way too good. 277 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,594 - He's in a box ? - Pam, he's in a BOX. 278 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:17,269 He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor near the shells. 279 00:14:18,256 --> 00:14:21,367 So you just go down there, and work your magic. 280 00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:29,202 Hey ! Where are you ? Yeah, we were supposed to meet here ! 281 00:14:30,379 --> 00:14:31,968 What ? 282 00:14:32,742 --> 00:14:34,854 Oh my Gosh ! 283 00:14:35,096 --> 00:14:39,552 That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier ! 284 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:44,260 I just don't know what some of the people in like accounting are gonna do. 285 00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:47,896 It's not specifically that... 286 00:14:50,694 --> 00:14:52,854 Hey Jim, good party eh ? 287 00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:56,491 Just a little some' wiped up you know a little moral boost, no big deal. 288 00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:59,202 Speaking of which I meant to tell you, very impressive, 289 00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:01,912 the donation you gave to Oscar's charity. 290 00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:05,088 - Was that twenty-five bucks ? - Well no, yeah you know. 291 00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:08,742 Money isn't everything Jim. Not the key to happiness. 292 00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:11,172 You know what is ? Joy. 293 00:15:12,031 --> 00:15:15,195 You should remember that, maybe give more than three dollars next time. 294 00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:19,647 Yeah well, three dollars a miles will end up like fifty bucks. 295 00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:24,217 So, god, can't even calculate what you're gonna have to give. 296 00:15:32,177 --> 00:15:33,769 Is Oscar around ? 297 00:15:33,841 --> 00:15:36,851 I just thought it was a kind of a flat, you know, 298 00:15:37,217 --> 00:15:39,822 twenty-five dollars one time donation. 299 00:15:39,996 --> 00:15:43,044 Didn't think it was a per-mile kind of deal, you know so... 300 00:15:44,037 --> 00:15:45,986 - Well, that's what a walk-athon is. - I know. 301 00:15:46,053 --> 00:15:47,674 It says here right on the sheet. 302 00:15:47,886 --> 00:15:51,330 Look look at the sheet, it says "it's however many dollars per-mile". 303 00:15:51,532 --> 00:15:54,079 Got it, yes so it does. 304 00:15:54,426 --> 00:15:57,262 I just think it's kind of cheap to undonate money to a charity. 305 00:15:57,359 --> 00:16:00,851 No, no no no. I wasn't I wasn't, no no, 306 00:16:00,947 --> 00:16:02,819 It's it's not about the money. 307 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:06,311 It's just it it... It's the ethics of the thing, 308 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:08,703 Oscar. 309 00:16:10,342 --> 00:16:12,850 How's your nephew ? Is he in a good shape ? 310 00:16:13,313 --> 00:16:14,953 - Yeah. - How many miles did he do last year ? 311 00:16:15,062 --> 00:16:17,702 - Last year he walked eighteen miles. - Son of a bitch ! 312 00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:20,557 That is impressive, good for him. 313 00:16:42,406 --> 00:16:44,354 - Happy birthday Meredith. - Read it out loud ! 314 00:16:44,576 --> 00:16:47,489 Say who wrote everything. So we know whose is the best. 315 00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,911 Happy bird-day. 316 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:56,875 "Meredith, good news ! You're not actually a year older, 317 00:16:57,251 --> 00:17:00,087 Because you work here, where time stand still." 318 00:17:01,804 --> 00:17:04,448 - Not bad. - That was Stanley. 319 00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:06,985 "Meredith, happy birthday 320 00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:10,168 You're the best, love Pam." 321 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,030 Thanks darer. 322 00:17:15,232 --> 00:17:16,988 This is from Michael : 323 00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:21,155 "Meredith. Let's hope that the only downsizing that happens to you... 324 00:17:21,329 --> 00:17:24,126 Is that someone downsizes your age." 325 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,234 Because of the downsizing. Rumours. 326 00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:31,916 And because you're getting old. 327 00:17:32,063 --> 00:17:35,304 No, I, I get it. 328 00:17:35,632 --> 00:17:38,140 - It's funny. - You didn't get the joke. 329 00:17:38,584 --> 00:17:40,426 That's cool, that's you know what actually 330 00:17:40,503 --> 00:17:43,002 I have a bunch of these, 331 00:17:43,445 --> 00:17:45,915 good ones that I didn't use. 332 00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,750 What was that ? Oh ok ! Here's a good one. 333 00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:53,763 "Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back". 334 00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:57,286 Cause Meredith has been divorced like, twice. Is that right ? 335 00:17:57,341 --> 00:17:59,194 - You're right. - Is that right ? 336 00:17:59,271 --> 00:18:00,823 - Ok. - You're right. Yes 337 00:18:00,911 --> 00:18:02,531 Divorce... 338 00:18:05,059 --> 00:18:07,065 Oh ok, "Meredith is so old..." 339 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,450 - "How old is she ?" - Right everybody, you can do it ? 340 00:18:10,499 --> 00:18:12,351 "Meredith is so old..." 341 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,994 - How old is she ? - "She's so old... 342 00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:17,521 She went into an antique store and they kept her". 343 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,029 That wasn't even mine, I got that off the internet. Website. 344 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,595 Don't get mad at me. 345 00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:31,325 - Nice party Michael. - This isn't my fault. 346 00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:36,775 Ladies, not your best effort. Streamers ? 347 00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:39,997 You could have done better than that don't you think ? 348 00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:43,413 - Phyllis wanted red, I didn't. - Oh, boy. 349 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:47,377 Ok we, all right people hold on hold on. 350 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:51,144 Just a second ok, I think we're losing sight of what is really important here. 351 00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:53,509 And that is that we are... 352 00:18:54,612 --> 00:18:58,052 A group of people who work together. 353 00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:01,417 I was, I really wasn't gonna with on this. 354 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,830 I've made a very sizable donation to Oscar's nephews 355 00:19:08,726 --> 00:19:10,013 walk-athon. 356 00:19:11,215 --> 00:19:12,566 Twenty-five dollars. 357 00:19:12,662 --> 00:19:14,514 - Per mile. - Per-mile, yes. 358 00:19:14,746 --> 00:19:16,858 When I retire I... 359 00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:19,752 I don't want to just disappear to one island somewhere. 360 00:19:20,746 --> 00:19:22,868 I want to be the guy who gives everything back. 361 00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:26,389 A check for the kids, and for the teen. 362 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,328 I want it to be like : 363 00:19:29,582 --> 00:19:33,363 "Who donated that hospital wing that is saving somebody's life ? 364 00:19:34,617 --> 00:19:37,742 Well, I don't know that was anonymous. 365 00:19:38,379 --> 00:19:39,546 Guess what ? 366 00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:42,729 That was Michael Scott. 367 00:19:42,836 --> 00:19:45,961 But it was anonymous, how do you know ? 368 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,601 Because I met him." 369 00:19:51,662 --> 00:19:53,244 Thank you Michael. 370 00:19:54,942 --> 00:19:56,620 Come here. 371 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,852 Don't cash that until Friday ok ? 372 00:20:00,131 --> 00:20:02,234 - Really today ? - Yeah. 373 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,961 - Happy birthday. - Nice. 374 00:20:04,212 --> 00:20:06,199 - I could say something... - No don't do that. 375 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:12,585 Ok, ok, I have something that totally tops the box. 376 00:20:12,749 --> 00:20:14,061 Oh tell me, tell me. 377 00:20:14,244 --> 00:20:18,103 I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stanford 378 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:21,942 and spy on our other branch, no no no, but before he does so, 379 00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:25,614 I told him that he should die his hair, to go undercover. 380 00:20:25,696 --> 00:20:28,627 If we can get him to drive to Connecticut 381 00:20:28,726 --> 00:20:30,939 and put some bright side in his hair. 382 00:20:30,994 --> 00:20:31,968 What the hell is this ? 383 00:20:32,009 --> 00:20:33,482 What, are you trying to cop a feel or something Halpert ? 384 00:20:33,704 --> 00:20:36,230 - No, Dude no. Dude no ! Just listen ! - Hey hey, come on ! 385 00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:39,212 God, I don't even know how to explain this. 386 00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:43,042 Dwight asked me to be in an alliance, 387 00:20:43,563 --> 00:20:45,955 And then... 388 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,174 We've just been messing with him 389 00:20:48,444 --> 00:20:50,817 because of the whole alliance thing... 390 00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:54,473 - It's just office pranks. - It's stupid, it's just office pranks. 391 00:20:54,637 --> 00:20:56,701 Dwight, what the hell is he talking about ? 392 00:20:58,177 --> 00:21:00,589 I have absolutely no idea. 393 00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:04,380 Come on. 394 00:21:09,241 --> 00:21:11,103 Do I feel bad about betraying Jim ? 395 00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:13,380 Not at all. 396 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:16,476 That's the game. Convince him we're on an alliance. 397 00:21:16,785 --> 00:21:19,444 Gets him information, throw him to the wolves. 398 00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:22,222 That's politics baby, get what you can out of someone, 399 00:21:22,762 --> 00:21:24,190 Then crush them. 400 00:21:24,595 --> 00:21:27,006 I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson. 31621

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.