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1
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_
2
00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,398
D'oh!
3
00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:34,700
Huh?
4
00:00:34,851 --> 00:00:35,855
Whoo-hoo!
5
00:00:45,531 --> 00:00:46,536
- Shotgun!
- Shotgun!
6
00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:48,272
- I said it first.
- I said it first.
7
00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:49,697
What are you, coping me now?
8
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,888
What are you,
coping me now? Nyah.
9
00:00:51,923 --> 00:00:54,628
I can't listen to this
stupid fight anymore.
10
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,797
Lisa, you sit in the front.
11
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,969
Happy start of the school week,
everyone.
12
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,380
Happy start of the school week,
everyone.
13
00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:06,881
You're still mad
14
00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:08,067
- about yesterday?
- You're still mad about yesterday?
15
00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:09,793
- Seriously.
- Seriously.
16
00:01:09,812 --> 00:01:11,645
- How long is this gonna go on?
- How long is this gonna go on?
17
00:01:11,797 --> 00:01:12,979
Don't you think this is a little
18
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,556
- beneath the "Prank King"?
- Don't you think this is
19
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:15,890
a little beneath the "Prank King"?
20
00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:18,635
He's not doing this to everyone, is he?
21
00:01:18,654 --> 00:01:20,079
Oh, thank God.
22
00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:21,580
- I know how to deal with this.
- I know how to deal with this.
23
00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:24,991
- I love Lisa so much.
- I love Lisa so much.
24
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,811
- I wish I was Lisa.
- I wish I was Lisa.
25
00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:30,981
- Hmm, I thought that would work.
- Hmm, I thought that would work.
26
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:34,167
Bart commits to the bit. Always has.
27
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,652
The novel has two equally
28
00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:37,245
- important protagonists...
- The novel has two equally
29
00:01:37,323 --> 00:01:38,505
important protagonists.
30
00:01:38,657 --> 00:01:41,141
- ...Mouse and Motorcycle.
- Mouse and Motorcycle.
31
00:01:41,994 --> 00:01:43,102
Grilled vegetables,
32
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and you ordered the same
thing just after she did.
33
00:01:47,499 --> 00:01:49,591
- E-B-Z.
- E-B-Z.
34
00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:53,737
- T-O-O-V.
- T-O-O-V.
35
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,177
What's up, food fighters?
I'm Thad Parkour.
36
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:01,845
Today on Dude vs. Food,
37
00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:05,198
I'm going to war with ten
buckets of fried chicken skin
38
00:02:05,351 --> 00:02:07,684
served on top of a smash burger
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00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:09,686
the size of a laser disk.
40
00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:11,521
Give them hell, Thad.
41
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,781
- Dad!
- Yes...?
42
00:02:14,463 --> 00:02:16,042
Bart's using the bathroom and
he doesn't wash his hands,
43
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,952
so I've got 20 seconds tops.
44
00:02:18,046 --> 00:02:19,245
Make him stop copying me.
45
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,530
Please, it's been a month!
46
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:23,425
That is a huge percentage
of my short life.
47
00:02:23,535 --> 00:02:24,810
Not now, honey.
48
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:27,204
Daddy's watching his latest
favorite show of all time.
49
00:02:27,222 --> 00:02:29,556
We can talk about jazz later.
50
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,600
Dad, please, he won't stop!
51
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,560
Dad, please, he won't stop!
52
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,988
- Ah!
- Ah!
53
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,332
_
54
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,068
Okay, I just have to accept
55
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,904
that this is my new reality.
56
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That this is my new reality.
57
00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:47,724
And if that's the case,
58
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:51,253
then I'm gonna make something
good come out of it.
59
00:02:54,003 --> 00:02:56,443
_
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00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,863
_
61
00:02:58,864 --> 00:03:01,224
_
62
00:03:01,225 --> 00:03:03,312
_
63
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:07,076
_
64
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:09,955
What do we want?
65
00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:11,081
- What do we want?
- Ban touch tanks!
66
00:03:11,099 --> 00:03:12,191
When do we want it?
67
00:03:12,342 --> 00:03:13,433
- Now!
- When do we want it?
68
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,107
That is terrific progress.
69
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,443
That is terrific progress!
70
00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:27,210
"I'm Bart Simpson,
and this is how I feel."
71
00:03:27,245 --> 00:03:29,959
I'm Bart Simpson,
and this is how I feel.
72
00:03:29,994 --> 00:03:30,994
"I have spent
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- "the last six months...
- I have spent the last six months
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00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:34,604
- "repeating every word said
- repeating every word said
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00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,982
- "by my sister, Lisa Simpson.
- by my sister, Lisa Simpson.
76
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,942
- "We entered as adversaries...
- We entered as adversaries...
77
00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:40,201
"and through some strange magic...
78
00:03:40,295 --> 00:03:41,945
...and through some strange magic...
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00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:44,448
- "we have emerged as friends.
- we have emerged as friends.
80
00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:46,132
"I set out to break
81
00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:47,288
- "my sister's spirit...
- I set out to break my sister's spirit...
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00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:48,710
"but wound up giving her
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00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,953
- "a priceless gift.
- ...but wound up giving her
84
00:03:49,972 --> 00:03:51,379
a priceless gift.
85
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,139
- "The knowledge that her brother
- The knowledge that her brother
86
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:54,958
- "will always be by her side.
- will always be by her side.
87
00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:57,461
- "And so she will always feel
- And so she will always feel
88
00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:59,721
- "loved and protected.
- loved and protected.
89
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,222
"I am the best big brother
90
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,483
a girl could ever ask for."
91
00:04:04,938 --> 00:04:07,157
Aren't you gonna repeat that last part?
92
00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:09,230
I don't think I can.
93
00:04:09,524 --> 00:04:10,857
Does that mean it's over?
94
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:14,769
Because I'm,
I'm-I'm not sure I want it to be.
95
00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:17,864
- Bart.
- I love you, too.
96
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,182
Hugging?
97
00:04:19,201 --> 00:04:20,775
Did you teach them that?
98
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,852
I guess I must have.
99
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:24,370
That was so beautiful.
100
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,705
I'm gonna go call my sisters
101
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,874
and tell them how much they mean to me.
102
00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:31,211
And there's a very special man
I need to say some things, too,
103
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,196
while I still can.
104
00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:34,823
I love you, Thad!
105
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:38,143
Today it's me
versus the spiciest ramen
106
00:04:38,294 --> 00:04:41,871
in a city known for its
fiery Asian flavors,
107
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,965
Des Moines, Iowa.
108
00:04:48,563 --> 00:04:51,381
I find this performative
gluttony offensive.
109
00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:54,555
Yeah, there are hungry
supermodels in this world
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00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:57,721
who would kill for a bowl
of painfully spicy ramen.
111
00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:04,844
That's what I want
112
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:07,989
my relationship with soup to be like.
113
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,490
What up, Food Duders?
114
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,585
That's his name for me
and people like me!
115
00:05:12,738 --> 00:05:16,515
The Dude vs. Food
pig-rig is coming to Springfield!
116
00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:18,241
Oink-oink!
117
00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:20,760
Coming here?
118
00:05:20,912 --> 00:05:23,879
I'll be unhinging my jaw donkey-style
119
00:05:23,881 --> 00:05:25,915
at Luigi's Italian restaurant.
120
00:05:26,009 --> 00:05:27,359
I've been there once.
121
00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:31,087
Where I'm going up against
a 17-pound meatball.
122
00:05:31,106 --> 00:05:32,605
Mano a ball.
123
00:05:32,682 --> 00:05:35,108
I'll see you there October 10!
124
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:39,621
I finally have a reason
to live till October 10.
125
00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:42,615
We asked: "Could-a we make it?"
126
00:05:42,768 --> 00:05:45,785
We never asked "Should-a we make it?"
127
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,361
Yeah.
128
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,880
Are you Thad bods
129
00:05:49,032 --> 00:05:52,217
ready to meet the man
who eats food for breakfast?
130
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:56,555
Put your greasy hands together for...
131
00:05:56,664 --> 00:05:58,539
Thad Parkour!
132
00:06:09,628 --> 00:06:13,196
He looks like Luann's uncle
when the neighbors found him.
133
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,409
Let's chew this thing.
134
00:06:17,636 --> 00:06:19,911
Oink-oink.
135
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,477
Yeah, that's a wrap on Thad.
136
00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:30,313
After 400 episodes,
shot over the course of two months,
137
00:06:30,406 --> 00:06:31,423
he's finally full.
138
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:33,518
Series over. Strike the meatball.
139
00:06:33,553 --> 00:06:34,909
Come on, Thad, eat too much of something
140
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,243
so we know you're okay.
141
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,931
Sorry, man.
Looks like this time, food...
142
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,491
beat dude.
143
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,103
No...!
144
00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:46,996
If no one's eating that, I'll take it.
145
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:48,665
...o!
146
00:06:48,683 --> 00:06:49,708
My car's out front.
147
00:06:49,835 --> 00:06:51,684
Just squish it into the trunk. Awesome.
148
00:06:58,605 --> 00:07:00,330
_
149
00:07:00,331 --> 00:07:02,103
I don't get it, Thad.
150
00:07:02,197 --> 00:07:04,276
Just last episode,
you were a healthy young man
151
00:07:04,311 --> 00:07:07,867
drinking 20 gallons of ranch
dressing to win a T-shirt.
152
00:07:08,019 --> 00:07:09,035
I'm sorry, brother.
153
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,011
I really hate letting my fans down,
154
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,964
but I died three times in the ambulance.
155
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,725
I don't think that's good for you.
156
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:17,710
Doc, you got to fix him.
157
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,378
Where's he's indomitable spirit?
158
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,896
His can-chew attitude?
159
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,883
"Can-chew attitude: critically low."
160
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:26,494
Damn! He's as good as dead.
161
00:07:26,645 --> 00:07:27,737
Wait.
162
00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:30,723
There's one more thing we can try.
163
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,166
Thad, if you've ever put your faith
164
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:34,894
in a relationship with
an obsessive superfan,
165
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:37,413
let it be in the imaginary friendship
166
00:07:37,549 --> 00:07:39,065
I think I have with you.
167
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:42,235
You definitely scare me a little,
168
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,846
but... okay.
169
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,350
What is this place?
170
00:07:49,577 --> 00:07:52,169
Just breathe.
171
00:07:53,636 --> 00:07:55,189
Incredible.
172
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:56,599
Wh-what's happening?
173
00:07:56,751 --> 00:07:59,418
This is my secret smelling place.
174
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,677
From here you can smell
175
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,755
every meal being cooked in Springfield,
176
00:08:02,848 --> 00:08:04,515
from windowsill pies
177
00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:06,609
to dishwasher-poached salmon.
178
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,520
But how is this possible?
179
00:08:09,688 --> 00:08:11,873
Who knows? But if I had to guess...
180
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,933
Warm moist air coming
off the ocean meets
181
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,692
cold breezes descending
from the mountains.
182
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,027
Springfield's unique topography,
183
00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:19,605
a remnant of glaciation
during the last ice age,
184
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,882
produces varying degrees of albedo,
185
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,033
a unique system of high-
and low-pressure zones,
186
00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:25,628
which shunt odor-rich air
from kitchens around the town
187
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,388
into this natural amphitheater.
188
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,282
But again, that's just a guess.
189
00:08:31,019 --> 00:08:32,027
Oh!
190
00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:34,136
Every individual smell is distinct
191
00:08:34,189 --> 00:08:37,231
and takes me back to a
specific time and place.
192
00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:40,293
Oh, pepperoni pizza.
193
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,462
Braised bok choy.
194
00:08:44,574 --> 00:08:45,798
Ribeye steak.
195
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,318
Oh! This is a miracle.
196
00:08:49,470 --> 00:08:53,247
Food is a miracle!
197
00:08:53,474 --> 00:08:55,399
I think I love food again.
198
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,993
I knew this place would fix you.
199
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:00,737
Wait, I'm getting a scent
200
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,665
I've never encountered.
201
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:03,999
Homer.
202
00:09:04,094 --> 00:09:06,485
Oh, man, we got to find the source.
203
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:08,262
And I'll play phone games.
204
00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:26,781
I could swear I've
seen this house before.
205
00:09:26,932 --> 00:09:30,267
But blindfolded,
from the trunk of a car...
206
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,602
- Gentlemen.
- _
207
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,769
Hi!
208
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,864
What a pleasant surprise...
209
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:39,018
that you made it past my bodyguards!
210
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:41,704
Sorry, boss.
I thought I had a pebble in my shoe.
211
00:09:41,856 --> 00:09:44,948
Turns out there's this
embroidery on my sock.
212
00:09:44,968 --> 00:09:47,922
Let's go, Thad.
The man with the goons is busy.
213
00:09:47,957 --> 00:09:50,212
- Bye!
- What are you cooking in there?
214
00:09:50,365 --> 00:09:52,014
I have to know.
215
00:09:55,036 --> 00:09:57,961
Wow, this stew smells amazing.
216
00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:01,040
This recipe is all I
have left of a great man.
217
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:04,652
Sit and I'll tell you
the whole sad story.
218
00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:06,470
Not because it's any of your business,
219
00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:08,714
but because this pot needs to simmer
220
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:12,243
for the length of one whole sad story.
221
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:15,078
_
222
00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:18,499
When I was a child,
there existed an uneasy peace
223
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,893
between Springfield's two
most powerful families.
224
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:23,820
The Italian, uh, "Thing of Ours,"
225
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,656
and the Prussian mob.
226
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:26,916
To maintain the peace,
227
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:28,918
each boss would send his youngest son
228
00:10:29,012 --> 00:10:32,680
to live with the other family,
as collateral.
229
00:10:32,831 --> 00:10:36,017
It was a ceremony steeped in tradition.
230
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,835
♪ Flip-flop, clippety-clop ♪
231
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,096
♪ I declare a son swap. ♪
232
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,340
My surrogate father's name was
233
00:10:43,359 --> 00:10:45,768
Wilhelm Von Wonthelm.
234
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:49,422
It was rumored that he had
never in his life smiled.
235
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:51,866
And I believed it.
236
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:54,777
Wilhelm conducted the mob's business
237
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,121
from the kitchen of his restaurant.
238
00:10:58,708 --> 00:10:59,949
He had a deep love for the grim,
239
00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:02,192
humorless flavors of German cuisine,
240
00:11:02,212 --> 00:11:04,603
a passion that was not shared
241
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,214
by his eldest son and heir,
242
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,368
Maximillian.
243
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:08,716
Where are you going?
244
00:11:08,867 --> 00:11:11,293
We need that blood
sausage for the dessert.
245
00:11:11,387 --> 00:11:12,553
No can do, Pops.
246
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:14,204
My band has a gig tonight.
247
00:11:14,224 --> 00:11:16,632
Max had fallen
prey to the scourge
248
00:11:16,784 --> 00:11:19,285
that was destroying America's youth:
249
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,562
the ska revival.
250
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,550
You are needed here, my son.
251
00:11:26,569 --> 00:11:28,143
Not out all night tromboning
252
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:32,031
to a calypso-flavored fusion
of jazz and punk rock.
253
00:11:40,647 --> 00:11:42,530
You chop like a Belgian.
254
00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:45,327
But with ceaseless repetition
and unyielding criticism,
255
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,046
you will learn.
256
00:11:48,531 --> 00:11:49,763
_
257
00:11:50,636 --> 00:11:53,374
You schnitzel well.
You are a sh-natural.
258
00:11:53,409 --> 00:11:54,911
And then it happened.
259
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:58,808
The old man smiled at me.
260
00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:04,013
Maximillian,
put down that brassentooter.
261
00:12:04,465 --> 00:12:06,298
Tonight, I need you here with me.
262
00:12:06,317 --> 00:12:08,242
Why don't you ask your
new son to help you?
263
00:12:08,319 --> 00:12:10,077
This was the night
264
00:12:10,304 --> 00:12:13,063
Wilhelm was to pass his
greatest secret on to his son.
265
00:12:13,157 --> 00:12:18,068
The recipe for gewalteintopf:
"Stew of Violence."
266
00:12:18,145 --> 00:12:20,588
A centuries-old dish served only
267
00:12:20,756 --> 00:12:22,590
at the initiation of new members
268
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,425
into the Prussian mob.
269
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:27,410
For his son to reject this sacred honor
270
00:12:27,579 --> 00:12:30,747
was a stab to Wilhelm's heart.
271
00:12:30,766 --> 00:12:32,734
Ska is no future!
272
00:12:32,769 --> 00:12:34,326
How much was your band paid to perform
273
00:12:34,345 --> 00:12:37,162
at the grand opening of
the Continental Tire store?
274
00:12:37,181 --> 00:12:40,165
- $50.
- But there are 17 of you.
275
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:43,093
And several who do
nothing but dance around.
276
00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:46,596
This recipe is at the center
of everything we believe.
277
00:12:46,616 --> 00:12:49,450
Please, let me pass it on to you.
278
00:12:54,698 --> 00:12:56,439
This man had
survived car bombings, bullets
279
00:12:56,533 --> 00:12:59,701
and the shame of adult braces.
280
00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:00,894
But not this.
281
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:05,357
This recipe belongs with someone
282
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:06,950
who respects tradition.
283
00:13:07,044 --> 00:13:09,027
Protect it with your life.
284
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:11,864
And never share it with my son.
285
00:13:11,882 --> 00:13:14,883
Promise me...
286
00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:18,646
I never realized how gross
it is under the oven.
287
00:13:22,151 --> 00:13:24,059
Maximillian took his father's place
288
00:13:24,211 --> 00:13:26,170
as head of the Prussian mob.
289
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:29,064
He rules with an iron
fist while still dropping
290
00:13:29,216 --> 00:13:33,051
poorly-received ska
albums on SoundCloud.
291
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,162
But I kept my promise to his father
292
00:13:35,389 --> 00:13:38,223
and never gave Maximillian the recipe.
293
00:13:38,242 --> 00:13:40,501
Now, if you will turn your backs,
294
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:42,227
I must consult the recipe
295
00:13:42,246 --> 00:13:46,173
for the final secret ingredients.
296
00:13:55,259 --> 00:13:58,852
You may turn back around.
297
00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:06,752
Oh, it's so good
I never want to swallow.
298
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:08,437
Oh! Me neither.
299
00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:10,531
Let's stay like this forever.
300
00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:12,090
Okay.
301
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:15,285
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
302
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,432
_
303
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:20,207
Everyone, shut up!
304
00:14:20,284 --> 00:14:23,785
Thad has a new show and the
trailer's about to drop.
305
00:14:23,938 --> 00:14:26,046
I said, "Shut up!"
306
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,507
Shut up!
307
00:14:29,293 --> 00:14:30,295
Shh.
308
00:14:30,444 --> 00:14:33,462
I'm Thad Parkour, and I'm a thief.
309
00:14:33,614 --> 00:14:37,707
Snitches get dishes on
my new Chew Network show
310
00:14:37,801 --> 00:14:39,059
Kitchen Betrayals.
311
00:14:39,286 --> 00:14:41,954
Watch me steal secret recipes
312
00:14:41,972 --> 00:14:43,138
from unsuspecting chumps
313
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:45,215
and reveal them to the world.
314
00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:48,384
On the series premiere,
I'll show you the murder stew
315
00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:52,281
that certified killers don't
want you to know about.
316
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,558
- Stew!
- What's wrong?
317
00:14:55,652 --> 00:14:57,302
Everything's fine.
318
00:14:57,304 --> 00:15:01,306
Take the baby and go to
Flander's panic room.
319
00:15:01,605 --> 00:15:02,641
Damn it, Thad!
320
00:15:02,659 --> 00:15:05,085
If Fat Tomy sees this,
his gonna come to my house
321
00:15:05,162 --> 00:15:06,236
and he's gonna...
322
00:15:06,899 --> 00:15:08,922
Homie, Homie, open up.
323
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,833
- I've got groceries.
- Phew!
324
00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:16,704
Look who dropped by.
A very worked-up Fat Tony.
325
00:15:16,857 --> 00:15:18,248
Hello, Homer.
326
00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:21,994
I was just meeting your charming widow.
327
00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:25,128
I'm not that charming.
328
00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:27,995
Thanks to that idiot
putting the recipe on TV,
329
00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,943
the Prussians are on
their way to kill me.
330
00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:32,170
But I had a thought:
331
00:15:32,189 --> 00:15:33,672
you first.
332
00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:36,008
Please, Fat Tony,
we've been through so much.
333
00:15:36,026 --> 00:15:38,601
You can't kill me over a stolen recipe.
334
00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:50,856
"Hey, Fat Tony. Homer here.
335
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:54,134
"You just threw me off a bridge. LOL.
336
00:15:54,361 --> 00:15:58,138
If you pull me up,
I can save both our lives."
337
00:15:58,866 --> 00:16:00,641
Explain first.
338
00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:03,101
Then I pull you up.
339
00:16:04,888 --> 00:16:08,223
"Pull me up first.
Scary turtle down here.
340
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:10,484
"Also, running low on oxygen.
341
00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:13,061
Crying-laughing emoji."
342
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,867
If that TV show airs,
the Prussians are gonna find out
343
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,869
that you had the recipe all along
344
00:16:20,962 --> 00:16:22,370
and they're going to kill you.
345
00:16:22,389 --> 00:16:25,040
But I can sneak us onto
the Chew Network lot,
346
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:27,375
and together we can stop that show.
347
00:16:27,394 --> 00:16:30,103
- How?
- I'm a deranged fan.
348
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,306
All I do is think of ways
to sneak onto the lot.
349
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,410
Okay. Let's hurry before
the Prussians catch on.
350
00:16:45,558 --> 00:16:47,412
Two Thad Parkour look-alikes here
351
00:16:47,564 --> 00:16:49,172
for the Clam Chowder Chug-a-thon.
352
00:16:49,324 --> 00:16:51,758
Eh. Sounds like something we'd do.
353
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,741
Fat Tony, please,
you don't want to do this, man.
354
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,743
How did you steal my recipe?
355
00:17:01,762 --> 00:17:03,762
I took every precaution.
356
00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:06,414
I made you turn around.
357
00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:07,524
Wait a minute.
358
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:13,321
Your supercool backwards
sunglasses recorded everything!
359
00:17:17,944 --> 00:17:22,122
You broke my heart, Thad's sunglasses.
360
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,601
It's the Prussians! Run!
361
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,475
It would seem Maximillian is
362
00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:52,385
trying to process some big feelings.
363
00:17:52,479 --> 00:17:55,888
His last memory of his
father is a bitter one.
364
00:17:55,966 --> 00:17:57,908
His last memory?
365
00:17:58,135 --> 00:18:00,268
I know what to do. Give me the wheel!
366
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,803
- You, go under.
- No, you go under.
367
00:18:01,822 --> 00:18:03,972
- Your foot's in my gabagool.
- That's not my foot.
368
00:18:04,065 --> 00:18:05,398
That's not my gabagool.
369
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,542
Are you sure? It feels like one.
370
00:18:11,832 --> 00:18:14,407
What the hell just happened?
371
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,914
Where the fuggedaboutit are we?
372
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,226
Just trust me.
373
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:28,921
Wasn't enough just taking
my father's love from me,
374
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,924
you had to steal his recipe, too?
375
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,002
Uh, before you shoot,
376
00:18:34,095 --> 00:18:37,505
just take a deep breath
through your nose.
377
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:41,025
There is nothing I could
smell that could save your...
378
00:18:44,264 --> 00:18:46,873
Because of what Fat Tony did,
379
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,541
people all over this town
380
00:18:48,693 --> 00:18:51,619
are honoring your father's memory
381
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:55,215
by making his most beloved dish.
382
00:18:56,293 --> 00:18:59,293
Gewalteintopf...
383
00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:02,555
Eat. There is no cold in the world
384
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:05,642
that can stand up to
Papa's special stew.
385
00:19:07,303 --> 00:19:08,728
Oh, yum. What's in it?
386
00:19:08,955 --> 00:19:12,807
That is a precious secret that
one day I will share with you.
387
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,292
For now, just eat.
388
00:19:14,385 --> 00:19:17,812
And know that your father
loves you very much.
389
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,297
Now, let's see what adventures
390
00:19:19,315 --> 00:19:20,890
brave Colonel Klink is having
391
00:19:20,984 --> 00:19:24,619
with that buffoon Hogan
and his unruly friends.
392
00:19:25,714 --> 00:19:27,472
Father did love me.
393
00:19:27,565 --> 00:19:29,490
And now that the world has his recipe,
394
00:19:29,643 --> 00:19:33,235
your father will never truly be gone.
395
00:19:33,329 --> 00:19:35,496
Friedrich, put down the sax.
396
00:19:40,411 --> 00:19:42,095
Thank you, Maximillian.
397
00:19:42,246 --> 00:19:45,156
Oh, and how's my youngest son doing?
398
00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:47,191
Really good.
He's super into mask-making.
399
00:19:47,193 --> 00:19:50,328
- How's mine?
- We're zeroing in on his allergies.
400
00:19:50,346 --> 00:19:51,996
His eyes stopped watering,
401
00:19:52,015 --> 00:19:55,108
and we're slowly adding things back in.
402
00:19:56,019 --> 00:19:57,351
Kitchen Betrayals is a hit!
403
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,687
Now I can make other shows
where I travel the globe
404
00:19:59,839 --> 00:20:02,507
exploring local food scenes
and fascinating cultures.
405
00:20:02,525 --> 00:20:04,692
And, Homer, my friend, I want you,
406
00:20:04,844 --> 00:20:07,770
the man who saved me,
to join me on this journey.
407
00:20:07,847 --> 00:20:11,849
I've heard the rest of the world
has slightly different toilets,
408
00:20:11,868 --> 00:20:13,460
and I'm scared of that.
409
00:20:13,611 --> 00:20:16,546
Everything I need is right here.
410
00:20:18,374 --> 00:20:21,209
But, Homer, I mean,
this is growth for me.
411
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,695
Can't you respect my decision?
412
00:20:23,713 --> 00:20:24,787
No.
413
00:20:32,684 --> 00:20:34,316
_
414
00:20:46,852 --> 00:20:48,270
_
415
00:20:48,571 --> 00:20:50,663
Professor Lisa,
we've established contact
416
00:20:50,815 --> 00:20:51,831
with the alien ship.
417
00:20:52,058 --> 00:20:53,908
As our lead astrophysicist,
418
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:57,562
you have the honor of conveying
humanity's first words
419
00:20:57,622 --> 00:21:00,006
to extraterrestrial life.
420
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:04,344
Visitors from another world...
421
00:21:04,495 --> 00:21:06,346
Visitors from another world!
422
00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:07,905
- Not now.
- Not now.
423
00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:09,257
- Can you just...
- Can you just
424
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,000
- This is really important.
- This is really important.
425
00:21:11,094 --> 00:21:12,593
- God, you're annoying!
- God, you're annoying!
426
00:21:12,746 --> 00:21:15,263
- Get the hell out of here.
- Get the hell out of here.
427
00:21:15,415 --> 00:21:16,839
- I hate you!
- I hate you!
428
00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:18,691
- Everyone hates you!
- Everyone hates you!
429
00:21:20,177 --> 00:21:21,861
- I'll kill you!
- I'll kill you!
430
00:21:22,088 --> 00:21:23,771
Apparently, this species
431
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,439
has a war-like nature.
432
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,700
Commence obliteration.
433
00:21:27,852 --> 00:21:29,827
- Your fault.
- Your fault.
434
00:21:32,205 --> 00:21:33,581
Shh!
435
00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:39,142
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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