Original subtitles

- GUESS WHERE I AM.

IN THE TUB.

[giggles] IT'S MY THIRD BATH TODAY.

MM.

MM. I KNOW.

I KNOW ABOUT THE DROUGHT.

I ACTUALLY TALKED TO DR. BELL ABOUT IT.

HE SAID NOT TO FEEL GUILTY.

HE SAID I SHOULD PAMPER MYSELF.

[giggles]

I KNOW, HE'S GREAT.

MOM, HE'S MY THERAPIST.

HOW CAN YOU ASK ME THAT?

I GUESS HE'S CUTE, FOR A SHRINK.

[giggles]

HELLO?

MOM.

[light thud]

[thud]

HELLO?

[creak]

[gasps]

JESUS, PEARL.

[laughing] YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH.

- [meow]

WHO LET YOU IN?

OH, NO! NO!

NO!

OH, GOD! AAH!

- [sighs]

- [meow]

- [speaks Spanish]

[speaks Spanish]

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

- * IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE

* DISORDER AND CONFUSION EVERYWHERE *

* NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE

* WELL, I DO

* HEY, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE

* POISON IN THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE *

* DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WATER THAT YOU DRINK? *

* WELL, I DO, AND IT'S A-MA-ZING *

* PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY 'CAUSE I WORRY ALL THE TIME *

* IF YOU PAID ATTENTION, YOU'D BE WORRIED TOO *

* YOU'D BETTER PAY ATTENTION OR THIS WORLD WE LOVE SO MUCH *

* MIGHT JUST KILL YOU

* I COULD BE WRONG NOW

* BUT I DON'T THINK SO

* 'CAUSE IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE *

* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE *

- MORNING, MR. MONK. I HAVE YOUR MAIL.

- OKAY, UH, JUST THROW IT AWAY.

- I CAN'T THROW IT AWAY UNTIL I LOOK AT IT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- THE DISHES.

- THAT'S NOT THE DISHES.

THAT'S A DISH, ONE DISH.

YOU CAN'T WASTE WATER LIKE THAT, MR. MONK.

HAVEN'T YOU BEEN READING THE PAPERS?

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUGE DROUGHT.

- NOT THE MIDDLE.

NOBODY CAN REALLY SAY

IF IT'S ACTUALLY IN THE MIDDLE.

- IT'S A BIG PROBLEM. IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS.

THE RESERVOIR'S ALMOST EMPTY.

NOBODY'S WASHING THEIR CARS OR WATERING THEIR LAWNS.

- [sighs]

NATALIE, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I HAD AN OMELET.

- THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MR. MONK.

WHAT IF EVERYBODY FELT LIKE THAT?

- DO THEY? - NO.

- SO WE'RE OKAY.

- UH-OH.

- WHAT IS IT?

- IT'S FROM YOUR HMO. - OOH, DON'T OPEN THAT.

- IT SAYS "IMPORTANT."

- ALL THE MORE REASON-- JUST THROW IT OUT.

- MAYBE IT'S GOOD NEWS.

- YEAH, GOOD NEWS FROM MY HMO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK-- I WON A FREE COLONOSCOPY?

- UH-OH. OH, NO.

IT'S A NEW POLICY. IT'S ABOUT YOUR THERAPY.

THEY'RE PUTTING A CAP ON THE NUMBER OF SESSIONS.

- WELL, HOW MANY?

- UH...2,000.

- WELL, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

I GO FOUR TIMES A WEEK, SO WE'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE.

- NO, THAT'S NOT 2,000 PER YEAR, MR. MONK.

THAT'S TOTAL--2,000 TOTAL...

IN YOUR LIFE.

- TOTAL?

- I'M SURE YOU'RE FINE.

THAT'S A PRETTY BIG NUMBER.

IT SAYS HERE THAT'S SEVEN TIMES THE NATIONAL AVERAGE.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I'M ADDING.

1964...

1965--

- WAIT, YOU STARTED IN 1964?

- NO, THOSE ARE THE NUMBER OF SESSIONS.

- HOW MANY ARE LEFT?

- OH, THAT'S GOOD.

TAKES A WATER SHORTAGE TO MAKE YOU APPRECIATE

HOW REFRESHING A COLD GLASS CAN BE.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S HUMAN NATURE.

WHEN SOMETHING IS RATIONED--

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY SMALL TALK TODAY, OKAY?

NO SMALL TALK.

ONLY BIG TALK. BIG, VAST TALK.

- SOMETHING HAPPENED.

- THIS CAME THIS MORNING.

- HUH?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- LOOKING FOR MY GLASSES.

MM, GOT MY NEW BIFOCALS,

AND IT TOOK--TOOK SOME GETTING USED TO AND--

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT! NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT.

WHERE'D YOU PUT 'EM? - I WAS SITTING RIGHT HERE.

- HERE! HERE THEY ARE.

- OH. OH. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ALL RIGHT.

- YEAH, IT'S, UM-- - ALL RIGHT.

WHAT IS THIS?

- IT'S FROM MY INSURANCE COMPANY.

- OH, YES, SO I SEE.

- TODAY'S SESSION IS NUMBER 2,000.

THIS IS IT. THIS IS MY LAST SESSION.

- MM-HMM.

- THIS IS THE LAST SESSION THEY'LL REIMBURSE YOU FOR,

BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE OPTION OF PAYING YOURSELF.

- WELL, HOW MUCH IS IT?

- IT'S 200.

- DOLLARS? $200?

THIS IS MY LAST SESSION.

OH, MY GOD, WE HAVE 48 MINUTES.

IT'S MY LAST SHOT.

WE--WE HAVE TO REALLY FOCUS,

REALLY FOCUS.

- ADRIAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WE CAN DO IN ONE SESSION.

- YEAH, I MADE A LIST OF ALL OF MY PROBLEMS HERE, SO...

- WELL, ADRIAN, THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

YOU SEE, THERAPY IS AN ONGOING PROCESS,

AND THE PROGRESS IS INCREMENTAL.

- YEAH, WELL, WE HAVE TO TRY, OKAY?

LET'S KNOCK OFF AS MANY AS WE CAN, ALL RIGHT?

"MY FEAR OF DISAPPOINTING MY FATHER." GO.

- ADRIAN, UH, I'M NOT COMFORTABLE

WORKING UNDER THIS KIND OF PRESSURE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON.

OKAY, LET'S SEE NOW. WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

THE LOSS OF YOUR FATHER

CAME AT AN IMPRESSIONABLE TIME IN YOUR LIFE,

AND I THINK IT CREATED AN EMOTIONAL VACUUM.

- YEAH, YEAH, OKAY. FORGET THAT ONE.

WE'LL NEVER GET THAT ONE. "GERMOPHOBIA."

- ADRIAN, THIS IS NOT A GAME SHOW.

- GERMOPHOBIA.

- ALL RIGHT, GERMOPHOBIA. ALL RIGHT, GERMOPHOBIA.

YOUR FEAR OF GERMS IS NOT UNUSUAL.

NOW, SOME PEOPLE FIND THAT IT HELPS

TO READ SCIENTIFIC JOURNALS TO DEMYSTIFY--

- YEAH, PASS.

OKAY, "SIBLING RIVALRY."

- WELL, I'VE NEVER MET AMBROSE.

- PASS! OH, GOD.

[scoffs] I'VE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR TEN YEARS.

I HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW FOR IT.

I MEAN, I--WE HAVE TO CURE SOMETHING HERE.

AH, "DEATH OF MY MOTHER."

OH, PASS.

"FEAR OF HEIGHT." PASS.

"FEAR OF FEAR ITSELF."

OH, YEAH! HERE--HERE--HERE'S ONE.

OKAY, YEAH.

"CLAUSTROPHOBIA."

- CLAUSTROPHOBIA.

NOW, WE'VE DISCUSSED THAT.

WE TALKED ABOUT VISUALIZATION. YOU REMEMBER THAT.

I SAID IF YOU EVER FEEL TRAPPED SOMEWHERE.

YOU CAN IMAGINE A DOOR.

- I TRIED THAT ONCE, BUT THE DOOR WAS LOCKED.

- JUST IMAGINE YOU HAVE A KEY.

- YEAH, I TRIED THAT.

THE KEY DIDN'T FIT.

- MAYBE IT'S A SKELETON KEY.

- THIS IS NOT WORKING! COME ON!

46 MINUTES LEFT. YOU GOT TO TRY HARDER.

- ALL RIGHT. - CURE ME, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

- MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER WAY AROUND THIS, HUH?

LET'S SEE NOW. WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS POLICY ONLY APPLIES TO PRIVATE SESSIONS.

YOU CAN JOIN A GROUP SESSION.

THAT'S A NEW CATEGORY. IT'S LIKE STARTING OVER.

- GROUP? - YES.

NOW, I HAVE ONE GROUP THAT DEALS SPECIFICALLY

WITH PHOBIAS AND OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR.

THEY MEET TWICE WEEKLY LIKE CLOCKWORK.

- UH, THERE WOULD BE OTHER PEOPLE THERE?

- YES, IT'S--IT'S A GROUP. IT'S A GROUP OF PEOPLE.

ACTUALLY, THIS POLICY CHANGE MIGHT BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

I THINK YOU COULD REALLY BENEFIT FROM THIS.

- AH, THEY DON'T LIKE ME.

- ADRIAN, THEY HAVEN'T MET YOU.

- THEY DON'T LIKE ME!

I CAN'T DO IT.

- ALL RIGHT. SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

I HOPE YOU RECONSIDER,

'CAUSE I-I THINK YOU'D GET A LOT OUT OF IT.

- YEAH, OKAY. "FEAR OF BEES."

- BEES.

WELL, LUCKILY WE LIVE IN A MORE URBAN ENVIRONMENT,

SO THE FEAR OF BEES-- - PASS.

FEAR OF BLENDERS.

- WELL, IF YOU DON'T OWN A BLENDER, THEN, ACTUALLY--

- PASS. "FEAR OF BEES IN BLENDERS."

HERE HE COMES. HERE.

- MR. MONK, PLEASE, PLEASE GO TO GROUP THERAPY.

- I DON'T HAVE TO. I CAN TALK TO HIM RIGHT HERE.

- I THINK YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

- YEAH, RIDICULOUS LIKE A FOX.

- READY?

LET'S GO.

GO.

GO, GO, GO. GO.

DR. BELL?

- ADRIAN?

- OH, MY GOD. DO YOU BIKE HERE TOO?

- EVERY MORNING. - OH!

I-I-I REMEMBER YOU MENTIONING THAT ONCE OR TWICE.

- NATALIE. - HELLO.

- HOW YOU DOING? - JUST FINE, JUST FINE.

- YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING HOW I'M DOING.

- UH-HUH.

- I BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT MY MOTHER.

- ADRIAN, I REALLY CAN'T GIVE YOU A SESSION RIGHT NOW.

- WHAT SESSION?

WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF GUYS IN THE PARK

TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER.

- JOIN MY GROUP.

WE MEET TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS, 10:00 P.M.

- WAIT, DR. BELL! WAIT! DR. BELL!

COME ON, YOU'RE LOSING HIM.

TURN! COME ON!

GO. MUSH, MUSH.

MUSH!

OHH...OHH...

GAH!

[both grunting]

OKAY, I'LL JOIN THE GROUP.

- THANK GOD.

- I HAVE COME TO A DECISION.

I AM NOT GOING TO THE CONVENTION.

- I THOUGHT YOU TOLD YOUR BOSS--

- YOU KNOW WHAT? LET HIM FIRE ME.

I DON'T CARE. I HATE MY JOB ANYWAY.

IT'S MEDICAL SUPPLIES, WHEELCHAIRS,

AND--AND PROSTHETIC ARMS.

IT'S GRUESOME.

I-I HOPE HE DOES FIRE ME.

- RHONDA, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO TRAVEL.

BUT THIS IS YOUR CAREER. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

YOU SHOULDN'T JUST THROW IT ALL AWAY.

- UH, DR.--DR. BELL...

THERE'S A MAN.

- ADRIAN.

I'M SO GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND.

COME IN, COME IN. WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.

- WHO IS THIS?

- THIS IS ADRIAN.

YES, HE'S GONNA JOIN OUR LITTLE GROUP.

OUR--OUR LITTLE BAND OF BROTHERS, HUH?

I THINK YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN. - WHAT, WITHOUT ASKING US?

- RHONDA, IT'S NOT YOUR DECISION.

ADRIAN, THIS IS RHONDA.

- HELLO.

- IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.

I JUST DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.

- I'M SORRY.

- ADRIAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.

- YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY THAT I'M SORRY.

- ADRIAN, THIS IS AUGIE.

- ARACHNOPHOBIA, AGORAPHOBIA, CLAUSTROPHOBIA.

- AUGIE, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT YOUR PHOBIAS.

- I JUST HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT.

- YOU HATE IT WHEN ANYBODY DOES ANYTHING.

- OH, SHUT UP.

- AND OF COURSE, YOU KNOW...HAROLD.

- HELLO, ADRIAN.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, FOR THE RECORD,

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

AND I DON'T FEEL THREATENED IN THE SLIGHTEST.

I KNOW WE HAVEN'T ALWAYS SEEN EYE TO EYE,

BUT I HOPE WE CAN PUT OUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE

AND WORK WITH NEVEN TOGETHER AS A TEAM.

AFTER ALL, IT TAKES A VILLAGE.

- YOU CALL HIM NEVEN?

- MM-HMM.

- WELL, THINGS ARE A LITTLE LESS FORMAL

IN GROUP THERAPY.

- OHH...YOU STILL CAN'T SHAKE HANDS.

[chuckles]

I SEE WE HAVE OUR WORK CUT OUT FOR US.

- I CAN SHAKE HANDS.

- OH...I USED TO USE A WIPE TOO.

REMEMBER? I WAS SO GERMOPHOBIC.

I'D ALWAYS HAVE A WIPE IN MY POCKET, LIKE THIS,

AND I'D WIPE MY HANDS, LIKE THIS,

AND...THEN I'D FOLD IT UP

INTO A LITTLE SQUARE

AND PUT IT IN MY OTHER POCKET,

LIKE THIS.

[chuckles] I WAS PATHETIC.

- ADRIAN, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT?

- WAIT, EXCUSE ME. HE CANNOT SIT THERE.

YOU CAN'T SIT THERE! THIS--THIS IS BARBARA'S SEAT.

- BARBARA? - YES, SHE WAS IN OUR GROUP.

SHE DIED THREE WEEKS AGO.

- SHE DROWNED IN HER SWIMMING POOL.

- IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SHE DIED!

THE POINT IS THAT WAS HER REGULAR SEAT,

AND I JUST THINK IT IS DISRESPECTFUL.

- THANK YOU.

OH, WHEW.

- ALL RIGHT, DEEP BREATH.

GOOD.

NOW, ADRIAN, IN OUR LAST PRIVATE SESSION,

WE TALKED A BIT ABOUT CLAUSTROPHOBIA.

I THINK THAT'S A GOOD PLACE TO START,

SINCE THAT'S A CONDITION THAT ALL OF YOU HAVE IN COMMON.

- NOT ME.

- OH, PLEASE.

- I MEAN, NOT ANYMORE.

I USED TO HATE TIGHT SPACES,

BUT NEVEN CURED ME.

- REALLY?

YOU'RE CURED?

WELL, YOU NEVER MENTIONED THAT.

- I WAS ABOUT TO WHEN ADRIAN WALKED IN.

YOU KNOW WHAT DID IT? VISUALIZATION.

THAT WAS REALLY GREAT ADVICE, DR. B.

I VISUALIZED A DOOR,

AND THEN I VISUALIZED A KEY TO THE DOOR.

- WELL, THAT'S GREAT. I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.

- WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU, DOC.

YOU'RE A GOD. THANK YOU.

GRACIAS.

MERCI BEAUCOUP.

DANKE SCHOEN.

SPASIBO. ARIGATO!

CAM ON ANH.

THAT'S--THAT'S, UH, VIETNAMESE.

- I TRIED IT--VISUALIZTION,

THE KEY AND THE DOOR.

IT DIDN'T WORK.

- WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR ASSISTANT

VISUALIZE IT FOR YOU?

- YOU HAVE AN ASSISTANT?

- YES, ADRIAN HAS A VERY DIFFICULT JOB,

WHICH REQUIRES AN ASSISTANT.

HE'S A DECORATED POLICE DETECTIVE.

HE'S A REAL HERO.

- WHAT ABOUT US?

I MEAN, WE'RE OUT THERE ALL ALONE,

ASSISTANT-LESS.

WE HAVE NO HELP.

WE HAVE NO ONE TO LEAN ON.

WE'RE THE REAL HEROES.

- I THINK BARBARA'S THE LUCKY ONE.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS CRAP ANYMORE.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

AND I'M GONNA MISS HER TOO.

WE ALL MISS HER.

WE'LL BE GRIEVING FOR A LONG TIME.

- [sighs]

I WISH I HAD AN ASSISTANT.

SHE COULD GRIEVE FOR ME.

- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

- OKAY, NOW, YOU SEE, NOW,

NOW, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS.

- YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.

YOU'VE BEEN JEALOUS OF ME SINCE THE FIRST DAY WE MET,

WHICH, BY THE WAY, I LIKE TO REFER TO AS BLACK TUESDAY.

- WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF YOU?

- OH, OKAY.

- I MADE $210,000 LAST YEAR.

HOW MUCH DID YOU MAKE?

- $2 MILLION.

- LIAR! HE'S LYING.

ADMIT IT, ADRIAN.

MY SUCCESS IS KILLING YOU.

IT'S EATING YOU UP.

- WHAT SUCCESS?

- I'M ON THE CITY COUNCIL.

PEOPLE VOTED FOR ME.

- BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW YOU!

DID ANYBODY HERE VOTE FOR THIS CLOWN?

- NOT ME.

- DR. BELL, YOU'RE IN HIS DISTRICT.

DID YOU VOTE FOR HIM?

- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK THAT QUESTION.

- OKAY, THAT'S A NO.

SEE, NEVEN DIDN'T VOTE FOR YOU, HAROLD.

SUCK ON THAT.

- I'M GONNA REZONE YOUR WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I CAN DO THAT! - WHY DON'T YOU REZONE YOUR--

- I'M GONNA PUT A KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN

ON YOUR ROOF! - STOP IT!

STOP IT, PLEASE! - I KNOW WHERE YOUR ROOF IS!

- STOP, PLEASE! HAROLD!

SIT DOWN. - PLEASE SIT DOWN, HAROLD.

- WHAT ABOUT HIM? - ADRIAN, PLEASE, SIT.

- YEAH, PLEASE, SIT.

- HAROLD, STOP IT. SIT.

DOWN.

- GOOD.

NOW...

- I KNOW, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A BIG FAN OF HAROLD KRENSHAW'S.

- I HATE HIM. HE CAN GO TO HELL.

- YEAH, I UNDERSTAND, BUT BESIDES HIM,

BESIDES HAROLD, WHO CAN GO TO HELL,

HOW WAS THE SESSION?

- AWFUL.

- WELL, WHAT WERE THE PEOPLE LIKE?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- HOW MANY WERE THERE?

- I DON'T KNOW.

FIVE, EIGHT.

THEY HARDLY TALKED ABOUT ME AT ALL.

ALL THEY DID WAS DRONE ON AND ON AND ON

ABOUT THEIR OWN LIVES AND THEIR OWN PROBLEMS.

- YEAH, MR. MONK, ISN'T THAT THE POINT?

- NOBODY CARES ABOUT THEM, NATALIE.

DR. BELL IS JUST AS BAD.

HE KEPT INTERRUPTING EVERYBODY,

TELLING LITTLE PARABLES AND STORIES.

I'M WASTING MY TIME.

GROUP THERAPY NEVER HELPED ANYBODY.

- THEN WHY DON'T YOU QUIT?

- ARE YOU FOLLOWING US?

- I THINK YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME.

- HAROLD, WE WERE HERE FIRST.

WE CAME STRAIGHT FROM DR. BELL'S.

- A LOT OF HIS PATIENTS COME HERE,

BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

FOR EXAMPLE, THAT GUY OVER THERE.

- [scoffs] HE'S NOT EVEN IN OUR GROUP.

- NOT ANYMORE.

HE LEFT THE NEST FIVE WEEKS AGO.

THAT'S XAVIER DANKO.

HE'S COMPLETELY CURED.

HE WAS MORE SCREWED UP THAN ANYBODY.

- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM?

- HE WAS OBSESSED WITH AN EXOTIC DANCER

NAMED TIFFANY SOMETHING.

HE WAS FOLLOWING HER. - UH-HUH.

- HE GOT BETTER. I WANT TO BE NEXT.

I WANT TO GET BETTER TOO.

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE GROUP, ADRIAN.

YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING.

- MR. MONK HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE THERE, HAROLD.

- NO, HE DOESN'T.

EXCUSE ME!

HE HAS 20 ITEMS.

- IT'S ONLY ONE ITEM.

THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

- BUT YOU'RE BUYING 20.

- BUT IT'S THE SAME ITEM.

- BUT YOU'RE BUYING 20.

- OF THE SAME ITEM.

- THERE'S THE SIGN.

IT DOESN'T SAY 12 DIFFERENT ITEMS.

- I-I THINK IT'S 12 ITEMS TOTAL.

- THANK YOU.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M BUYING THE FIRST TEN,

AND HE'S BUYING THE REST.

- WELL PLAYED, ADRIAN, WELL PLAYED.

- SIR, ARE YOU BUYING ANYTHING?

- NO, I'M--I'M JUST TRYING TO GET HIM TO QUIT MY GROUP.

- FORGET IT. I'M NOT QUITTING.

- WHY NOT?

YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT IT FIVE MINUTES AGO.

YOU SAID YOU HATED IT.

- THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW YOU WANTED ME TO QUIT.

- OHH.

- HEY, I'LL SEE YOU THURSDAY. I'LL SAVE YOU A SEAT.

I HAVE A COUPON.

- THERE HE IS.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

- WHAT HAPPENED?

- WE WERE WONDERING THE SAME THING.

EITHER HE JUMPED OR WAS PUSHED.

- YEAH, WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT KNOW THE GUY.

HIS EMPLOYMENT CARD-- WE FOUND IT IN HIS WALLET.

- DR. BELL.

- YOU KNOW HIM? - HE WAS IN MY GROUP.

AUGIE SOMETHING.

- YEAH, AUGIE WELLMAN.

HE WAS A MECHANICAL ENGINEER. HE LIVED UPSTAIRS.

- SO WAS MR. WELLMAN DEPRESSED?

- OF COURSE HE WAS.

- SO IT WAS SUICIDE?

- UH, I DON'T THINK SO.

LOOK AT HIS WRISTS.

HAIR HAS BEEN PULLED OUT.

SOMEONE TAPED THEM.

HE WAS TIED UP.

- COULD BE A SERIAL KILLER.

HE'S KILLING PEOPLE ACCORDING TO THEIR PHOBIAS.

THIS GUY WAS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS,

SO HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF.

- AUGIE WASN'T AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.

HE WAS AFRAID OF SPIDERS.

- THAT'S DIFFERENT.

IT'S KILLING PEOPLE USING THE OPPOSITE OF THEIR PHOBIAS.

THE OPPOSITE KILLER.

- SO YOU'RE SAYING THE OPPOSITE OF A SPIDER

IS A TALL BUILDING?

- WHAT DO YOU THINK THE OPPOSITE OF A SPIDER IS?

- I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT IT'S NOT A TALL BUILDING.

- HMM, TELL THAT TO THE OPPOSITE KILLER.

- ARE YOU CRYING?

- NO, I HAVE ALLERGIES.

- WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

- THE ODDS OF WHAT?

- TWO DEAD IN TWO MONTHS

FROM THE SAME GROUP.

- IT LOOKED STRAIGHT UP TO ME-- ACCIDENTAL DROWNING.

SHE HAD WATER IN HER LUNGS.

SHE HAD A SEVERE CONCUSSION,

LIKE SHE HIT HER HEAD ON THE WAY IN.

- DID YOU CHECK THE HOUSE? - DIDN'T SEE THE POINT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING TO FIND.

I MEAN, THE CRIME SCENE IS LONG GONE.

THE GIRL WAS CREMATED EIGHT WEEKS AGO.

THE CASE IS COLD.

- I WONDER HOW COLD.

- I DON'T FOLLOW.

- LOOK, SHE DIED OCTOBER 2ND, IN THE MORNING.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN CHILLY.

- UH, IT PROBABLY WAS.

- WHERE'S THE TOWEL?

THERE'S NO TOWEL NEXT TO THE POOL.

I WOULDN'T GO SWIMMING

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING IN OCTOBER

WITHOUT A TOWEL.

I MEAN, I WOULDN'T GO SWIMMING ANYWAY,

BUT YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN.

I THINK SHE WAS KILLED.

- LET ME GUESS.

THE VICTIM WAS NOT AFRAID OF WATER.

IT'S HIM-- THE OPPOSITE KILLER.

THAT'S HIS M.O.

- THERE IS NO OPPOSITE KILLER.

IF THERE WERE, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED

BY A FALLING ROCKET SCIENTIST YEARS AGO.

OKAY, WHERE ARE WE?

WE GOT A JUMPER WITH SOME HAIR MISSING FROM HIS WRISTS.

WE'VE GOT A MISSING TOWEL.

CAN'T GO KNOCKING ON THE D.A.'S DOOR WITH THAT,

NOT YET.

- WELL, LET'S KEEP DIGGING.

- OH, MY GOD.

- WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

- I THINK SOMEBODY IS KILLING OFF MY THERAPY GROUP.

- MR. MONK, YOU'RE SMILING.

- SORRY.

SOMEBODY IS KILLING OFF MY THERAPY GROUP.

- YOU'RE STILL SMILING.

- AND THEN THERE WERE THREE.

[door closes]

- WELL...

[sighs]

I THINK WE BETTER GET STARTED.

WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?

I KNOW IT'S DIFFICULT.

IT'S OVERWHELMING.

FIRST, BARBARA DROWNING, NOW AUGIE.

IF YOU WANT TO CANCEL THE SESSION,

CANCEL NEXT WEEK,

I CERTAINLY UNDERSTAND.

- I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD CANCEL.

IN FACT, I THINK WE NEED EACH OTHER NOW MORE THAN EVER.

- OH, PLEASE.

- WE NEED YOUR STRENGTH, NEVEN,

YOUR GUIDANCE.

YOU'RE THE BEACON.

YOU'RE THE LIGHT

THAT WILL SEE US THROUGH OUR DARKEST HOUR.

- SO, HAROLD, HOW IS IT UP THERE IN NEVEN'S BUTT?

YOU LONELY? GETTING SCARED OF THE DARK?

- RHONDA, LET'S NOT FORGET RULE NUMBER ONE--

DON'T MAKE IT PERSONAL.

- I'M SORRY.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY WOULD AUGIE JUMP?

HE DIDN'T SEEM THAT DEPRESSED.

- MAYBE HE SAW A LADYBUG

OR A FIREFLY.

- HE DIDN'T JUMP.

- THE NEWSPAPERS SAID-- - I KNOW WHAT THEY SAID.

THE POLICE WITHHELD SOME INFORMATION.

THE TRUTH IS WE STILL DON'T KNOW THE EXACT CAUSE OF DEATH.

- OH?

- I THINK AUGIE WAS MURDERED.

I THINK SOMEONE TIED HIM UP AND DRAGGED HIM TO THAT ROOF.

- OH, MY GOD!

- DR. BELL, I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL.

TELL ME WHAT TO FEEL.

- I THINK WE SHOULD ALL FEEL CONFUSED.

- CONFUSED--I CAN DO THAT.

- I THINK BARBARA WAS MURDERED TOO.

- YOU SAID "THINK."

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE NOT SURE?

- I THINK SOMEONE, FOR SOME REASON,

IS KILLING THIS GROUP OFF, ONE BY ONE.

- WHAT DO THE POLICE SAY?

- THEY'RE LOOKING INTO IT.

THEY'LL PROBABLY WANT TO TALK TO EACH OF US.

- WHY? WHAT, YOU TH--

THEY THINK IT'S ONE OF US? - IT'S POSSIBLE.

- ONE OF US?

- IT'S POSSIBLE.

THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT ONE OF YOU IS...

NOT QUITE SANE.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY HERE.

IT'S JUST A THEORY.

- IT WAS HIM.

IT WAS MONK!

- EXCUSE ME? - HE HATES US.

- I HEARD HIM YESTERDAY TALKING AT THE SUPERMARKET.

HE HATES ALL OF US.

- I DIDN'T SAY THAT, EXACTLY.

- AND HE SAID YOU WERE BORING.

HE SAID THAT HE HATED ALL YOUR STORIES,

WHICH, IN MY OPINION,

ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS OF EVERY SESSION.

- THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, DOC.

- THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ADRIAN.

I ADMIT THAT I HAVE, ON OCCASION, TO RAMBLE ON.

I GET CARRIED AWAY OCCASIONALLY.

THAT'S ALL.

- WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?

- INVESTIGATING.

- HAROLD, PLEASE SIT DOWN.

- WHO HAD A MOTIVE...

A MOTIVE FOR MURDER?

YOU DID.

YOU RESENT THE GROUP.

ADMIT IT, YOU WANT NEVEN ALL TO YOURSELF!

- THAT'S RIDICULOUS. - IS IT?

WHICH OF US WOULD KNOW HOW TO COMMIT A PERFECT CRIME

WITHOUT LEAVING A SINGLE CLUE?

WHO'S THE FAMOUS HOMICIDE EXPERT?

- I AM.

- AND WHO'S IN THE PERFECT POSITION

TO STEER THE INVESTIGATION AWAY FROM HIMSELF?

- ME.

- ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON HERE.

ADRIAN WAS TRYING TO WARN US.

- A CLASSIC CRY FOR HELP.

OR...

WAS IT AN ATTEMPT

TO DIVERT SUSPICION?

HMM.

DO YOU EVEN HAVE AN ALIBI FOR WEDNESDAY?

- NO.

- HOW ABOUT WHEN BARBARA WAS KILLED?

OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

THE HMO CHANGED THEIR POLICY--

NO MORE PRIVATE SESSIONS.

YOU WERE DESPERATE.

YOU NEEDED TO KILL ONE OF US

SO THERE'D BE AN OPENING IN THE GROUP.

DO YOU DENY IT?

- OF COURSE I DENY IT.

- WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT A GUILTY MAN WOULD SAY!

- THAT'S TRUE.

- AUGIE WAS NEXT.

YOU LURED HIM UP TO THE ROOF.

IT WAS EASY... HE TRUSTED YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA PICK US OFF, ONE BY ONE,

UNTIL YOU HAVE NEVEN ALL TO YOURSELF.

- WHAT YOU ARE SUGGESTING IS ABSURD.

ADRIAN'S NOT CAPABLE OF KILLING ANYONE.

- MR. MONK, YOU'RE NOT A KILLER.

- ARE YOU SURE? - YES, OF COURSE I AM.

- WHAT IF HAROLD IS RIGHT? IT ALL FITS.

I KNOW 1,000 WAYS TO KILL PEOPLE.

AND I HAVE A MOTIVE. I ADMIT IT.

I WANT DR. BELL TO MYSELF.

- NO, MR. MONK, IT COULDN'T BE YOU.

YOU HAVE AN ALIBI. - WHAT ALIBI?

I WAS HERE. I WAS ALONE.

- NO, YOU WEREN'T ALONE.

YOU WERE WITH YOURSELF.

- I WASN'T ALONE, I WAS WITH MYSELF?

- EXACTLY. YOU WOULD KNOW IF YOU WERE SNEAKING OUT

AND KILLING PEOPLE.

THAT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT PEOPLE TEND TO REMEMBER.

- MAYBE NOT.

I BLACK OUT SOMETIMES. YOU'VE SEEN IT.

SOMETIMES FIVE HOURS GO BY,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN.

- THAT'S TRUE, BUT IT'S ALWAYS TRIGGERED BY SOMETHING,

LIKE YOU'VE SEEN YOURSELF NAKED,

OR YOU SAW A DOCUMENTARY ON THE NATURE CHANNEL.

JUST STOP...

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!

IT WASN'T YOU. IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN YOU.

LET'S MOVE ON. WHO ELSE WAS IN THE GROUP?

- THERE'S HAROLD. COULD IT BE HAROLD?

- I DON'T THINK SO. - YOU'RE RIGHT.

GOD WOULD NEVER DO THAT. IT WOULD MAKE ME TOO HAPPY.

- OKAY, LET'S ELIMINATE HAROLD.

WHO'S LEFT?

- RHONDA.

- RHONDA?

I THINK THEY'RE CLOSED.

- [knocks]

DOOR'S OPEN.

RHONDA?

HELLO?

IT'S ADRIAN, FROM GROUP.

[both coughing]

- DO YOU SMELL THAT? - DO I SMELL THAT?

I'LL BE SMELLING THAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

- [coughing]

- RHONDA? - UGH.

[coughing]

SHE'S DEAD.

SHE MIXED BLEACH AND AMMONIA?

- CHLORINE GAS.

RHONDA'S WORKED HERE FOR NINE YEARS.

SHE WOULD NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE LIKE THAT.

- MURDER.

OH, MY GOD, MR. MONK, THAT'S THREE.

- OKAY. NATALIE...

IF I WAS GONNA KILL SOMEBODY,

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I WOULD DO IT, WITH...

CLEANING SUPPLIES.

- LOOK, MR. MONK, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN YOU.

RELAX.

THESE AREN'T YOUR BRANDS.

YOU BUY THE GOOD STUFF.

THESE ARE THE CHEAP STORE BRANDS.

- THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S TRUE.

DANKO.

- WHO? - XAVIER DANKO--

THE OTHER PATIENT.

WE SAW HIM AT THE SUPERMARKET, REMEMBER?

HE WAS BUYING CLEANING SUPPLIES,

THE EXACT SAME BOTTLES.

HAROLD SAID THAT HE QUIT GROUP THERAPY

ABOUT A MONTH BEFORE BARBARA O'KEEFFE WAS MURDERED.

DANKO MUST HAVE REVEALED SOMETHING IN THERAPY,

SOMETHING BIG, SOMETHING WORTH KILLING FOR.

NAT--NATALIE!

WHAT'D YOU DO?

MY GOD, LET'S GET YOU SOME FRESH AIR.

COME ON.

[grunting] COME ON.

THIS WAY. COME ON.

[grunting]

OKAY.

SHH.

[whispering] SOMEBODY'S HERE.

IT'S OKAY, I'LL GO. YOU'LL GET THE NEXT ONE.

[Monk groans]

[clatter] OH, MY GOD, I'M BURIED ALIVE!

I'M BURIED...

[banging]

HELP ME! LET ME OUT!

- IT'S NO USE.

I'VE BEEN BANGING ON IT FOR AN HOUR.

I STILL THINK IT WAS YOU.

[Monk and Harold shouting]

- PLEASE, LET US OUT!

- HELP! HELP!

[both shouting]

- PLEASE! - LET US OUT OF HERE!

- LET US OUT!

PLEASE STOP TOUCHING ME.

- I'M NOT TOUCH-- YOU'RE TOUCHING ME.

- I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU. YOU'RE TOUCHING ME.

JUST STAY ON YOUR SIDE.

- I'M--I DON'T HAVE A SIDE!

- JUST BACK UP FOUR OR FIVE MILLIMETERS.

OKAY, THAT'S YOUR SIDE.

NOW, THIS IS MY SIDE--

FROM THAT END OF THE SPARE TIRE

TO THE JUMPER CABLES.

STAY OVER THERE, AND WE'LL BE FINE.

[grunts]

- MY SIDE'S CARPETED.

- MY SIDE'S QUIETER.

- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

- YOUR SIDE HAS THE MUFFLER, SO MY SIDE IS QUIETER.

- OH, GROW UP! - YOU GROW UP.

- I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

[phone beeps]

- CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER, PLEASE.

- I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. I CAN'T STAND IT!

THE CEILING IS CRUSHING ME!

- HAROLD! - I FEEL IT CLOSING IN!

- HAROLD...

- IT'S LIKE I'M BEING BURIED ALIVE!

- STOP IT. - I CAN'T! AAH!

- HAROLD, YOU'RE MAKING IT VERY HARD FOR ME TO PANIC!

- [sobbing]

- JUST CALM DOWN, PLEASE!

- [gasping]

- I THOUGHT YOU WERE CURED.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR TECHNIQUE--

VISUALIZATION WITH THE DOOR AND THE KEY AND ALL THAT?

- OH, THAT DOESN'T WORK.

IT NEVER WORKED.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS DR. B.

WHY DO I DO THAT? WHY DO I...

WHY DO I... CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

THE TRUTH IS...

I ACTUALLY...

ADMIRE YOU. - STOP IT.

- NO, NO, I MEAN IT. - DON'T.

- I MEAN IT.

LOOK, WE'RE--WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY.

WE HAVE THE SAME KINDS OF PROBLEMS,

THE SAME...ISSUES.

BUT YOU--YOU-- YOU'RE OUT THERE.

YOU'RE IN THE WORLD.

YOU HAVE A FAMILY. YOU HAVE A REAL JOB.

YOU DON'T LET IT STOP YOU.

- [crying] THAT'S NICE OF YOU TO SAY.

[sobbing]

- LOOK AT ME. HAROLD, LOOK--LOOK AT ME.

L-L-LOOK AT ME. HEY.

I THINK WE'VE BEEN LOOKING AT THIS THE WRONG WAY.

- [whimpers]

- THIS TRUNK, YOU KNOW, THESE--THESE WALLS.

THEY'RE NOT-- THEY'RE NOT CLOSING IN ON US.

- THEY'RE NOT?

- NO.

THEY'RE-- THEY'RE PROTECTING US, REALLY.

- PROTECTING US?

- YEAH, THEY'RE KEEPING THE BAD STUFF OUT.

- PROTECTING US?

- YEAH, PROTECTING US FROM GERMS

AND SNAKES AND HARMONICAS.

- AND NATURE AND MY MOTHER

AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND.

- AND XAVIER DANKO.

- AND XAVIER DANKO.

- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

- THIS TRUNK IS OUR FRIEND.

- WOW.

[both laughing]

I'VE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR TEN YEARS.

I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST REAL BREAKTHROUGH

I'VE EVER HAD.

THIS GROUP-THERAPY THING REALLY WORKS.

- IT REALLY DOES.

[cranking]

- I WISH DR. B COULD SEE US. HE WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

- [chuckles]

[engine slows, turns off]

[car door opens, closes, footsteps departing]

HE'S WALKING AWAY.

- KEEP CRANKING.

[grunting]

- OOH! IT'S WORKING. OH, THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.

[metal squeaking]

[both grunting]

HERE...

OKAY.

THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE THAT.

- MY PLEASURE. HOLD STILL.

OH, NO. - WHAT?

- THAT'S NEVEN'S HOUSE.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW?

- HE HAD A COCKTAIL PARTY LAST SUMMER.

- AND HE INVITED YOU?

- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

- OKAY, WE-- WE HAVE TO FIND A PHONE

AND CALL THE POLICE.

THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME.

IT TAKES THE POLICE 4 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS

TO GET HERE.

DON'T ASK.

BE CAREFUL. HE'S GOT A GUN.

LISTEN, ADRIAN, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME--

- NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU. I WON'T LET IT.

READY?

- LET'S DO IT.

both: RAAAHH!

AAAH!

[shouting stops]

- WELL, THERE YOU ARE.

I WAS ABOUT TO COME AND GET YOU. THE POLICE WILL BE HERE SOON.

- [sobbing]

I'M--I'M SO SORRY.

- XAVIER WAS JUST TELLING ME

HOW HE KILLED TIFFANY BOLT.

- THE WOMAN HE WAS FOLLOWING?

- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HE PUT HER CAR AND HER BODY IN THE RESERVOIR,

AND THEN HE BEGAN TO GET WORRIED.

- OF COURSE, THE WATER SHORTAGE.

- RIGHT.

THE RESERVOIR LEVELS HAVE BEEN DROPPING.

HE WAS AFRAID THE CAR OR THE BODY

WERE ABOUT TO BE DISCOVERED.

- [sobbing] WHAT DID I DO?

- HE TOLD EVERYONE IN THE GROUP

ABOUT HIS OBSESSION.

SO YOU WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE ON EARTH

WHO COULD CONNECT HIM TO THAT POOR GIRL.

- RIGHT.

HE WAS TRYING TO KILL US BEFORE THE BODY WAS FOUND.

- ACTUALLY, WE HAVE SOME NEWS TOO.

- OH, RIGHT. YEAH.

WELL, UM, HAROLD AND I WERE LOCKED IN THE TRUNK,

BUT WE DEALT WITH IT.

WE--WE HAD A REAL BREAKTHROUGH.

ACTUALLY, I-I DEFINITELY THINK

WE CAN CROSS CLAUSTROPHOBIA OFF BOTH OF OUR LISTS.

- DR. BELL...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

- HEY! EXCUSE ME.

MY FRIEND WAS JUST TALKING.

WE DIDN'T INTERRUPT YOU.

GO AHEAD.

SEE, WHAT WE REALIZED

WAS THE TRUNK WAS PROTECTING US FROM GERMS.

- NATURE AND MY MOTHER AND...

- SNAKES. - HER NEW BOYFRIEND.

- WELL, IT'S 10:00.

I THINK WE SHOULD GET STARTED.

- WHERE'S EVERYONE ELSE?

- WELL, AS YOU KNOW, WE HAD THREE MEMBERS

WHO WERE-- WELL, WHO DIED.

- WHAT ABOUT HAROLD?

- HAROLD KRENSHAW DID SOMETHING QUITE EXTRAORDINARY.

HE FOUND ANOTHER DOCTOR.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- HE WANTED YOU TO HAVE THESE SESSIONS WITH ME

ALL TO YOURSELF.

WELL, YOU HAVE QUITE A FRIEND THERE, ADRIAN.

A FRIEND LIKE THAT IS A BLESSING.

- HAROLD? - YEAH.

NOW, AS FAR AS YOUR HMO IS CONCERNED,

THESE SESSIONS ARE STILL TECHNICALLY GROUP SESSIONS.

YOU'LL JUST BE A GROUP OF ONE.

- AH! - SO...

SO LET'S GET STARTED.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BEATING CLAUSTROPHOBIA.

- [clicks tongue] - I'M PROUD OF YOU.

SO WHAT'S NEXT?

- OKAY, UM...

"DEATH."

- DEATH?

THAT'S GONNA BE A TOUGH ONE.

- YEAH. COULD YOU SIT HERE?

- OF COURSE.

[grunts]

SO...

- I LIKE THIS.

I THINK I SHOULD HAVE TRIED GROUP THERAPY

A LONG TIME AGO.

- [chuckles]

THIS IS A GOOD GROUP.