All language subtitles for Monk S07E09 Mr. Monk and the Miracle [1080p x265 10bit Joy]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:23,157 * ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME * 2 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:29,062 * FIVE GOLDEN KEGS 3 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,099 * 4/5 OF NIGHTTRAIN 4 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,533 * THREE SHOTS OF BOURBON 5 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,567 * TWO MORE SHOTS OF BOURBON 6 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:39,840 * AND A BATHTUB FULL OF GREY GOOSE * 7 00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:44,777 * VODKA 8 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,347 [laughter] 9 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,149 THAT WAS PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 10 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,549 THAT WAS BETTER THAN GOOD. 11 00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,119 THAT WAS SENSATIONAL. 12 00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:53,820 AH. 13 00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:55,789 OH, AN EMPTY BOTTLE. 14 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,258 THE SADDEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD. 15 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,392 (the Professor) WHERE'S WILLIE? 16 00:00:58,426 --> 00:00:59,593 HE'S ALWAYS GOT A LITTLE MONEY. 17 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,695 HE LEFT LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO. 18 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,097 HE RUN AND LOOKING FOR BOTTLES. 19 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,765 COLLECTING BOTTLES, HUH? FOR REDEEMABLES. 20 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:09,170 [screaming] 21 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:12,239 HELP! SOMEBODY! 22 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,141 HELP! 23 00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:17,311 HELP! 24 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,212 OH, THERE HE IS. 25 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,283 HEY, WILLIE! WILLIE, HELLO! 26 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,319 [indistinct greetings] 27 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,522 YOU GOTTA HELP ME. CALL THE POLICE. 28 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,691 SOMEONE'S AFTER ME. 29 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:31,558 WHAT'D YOU DO? 30 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,293 NOTHING! SOME GUY, HE STARTED CHASING ME! 31 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,295 I THINK HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME. 32 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,896 AIN'T NOBODY THERE. 33 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,198 HE'S GOT THE WILLIES. 34 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,266 WILLIE GOT THE WILLIES. 35 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,468 [laughter] 36 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,902 (Willie) OH, HELL, THERE HE IS! 37 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,504 YOU'RE BEING PARANOID. MAYBE I AM. 38 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,640 I AIN'T STICKING AROUND TO FIND OUT. 39 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,843 HEY, YOU FORGOT ONE! 40 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:50,878 [laughter] 41 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,513 RUN, WILLIE, RUN! 42 00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:55,816 (all) RUN, WILLIE, RUN! 43 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,260 OH, WILLIE! 44 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,227 WILLIE! 45 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,596 WHERE YOU AT? 46 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,365 IT'S US! 47 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:12,800 HERE'S HIS CART. 48 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,372 [rapping metal] 49 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:40,527 [Randy Newman ragtime theme] 50 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,795 * IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE 51 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:46,933 * DISORDER AND CONFUSION EVERYWHERE * 52 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:49,770 * NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE 53 00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:50,837 * WELL, I DO 54 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,941 * HEY, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? 55 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:57,510 * IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE 56 00:02:57,545 --> 00:03:00,681 * POISON IN THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE * 57 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,283 * DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WATER THAT YOU DRINK? * 58 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:07,354 * WELL, I DO, AND IT'S A-MA-ZING * 59 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:10,390 * PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY 'CAUSE I WORRY ALL THE TIME * 60 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,760 * IF YOU PAID ATTENTION, YOU'D BE WORRIED TOO * 61 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:17,997 * YOU'D BETTER PAY ATTENTION OR THIS WORLD WE LOVE SO MUCH * 62 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,801 * MIGHT JUST KILL YOU 63 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,704 * I COULD BE WRONG NOW 64 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:26,006 * BUT I DON'T THINK SO 65 00:03:26,038 --> 00:03:29,242 * 'CAUSE IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE * 66 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,278 * IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE * 67 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:42,823 IS THAT YOUR TREE? 68 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:44,758 UH-HUH. 69 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:45,658 IT'S CARDBOARD. 70 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,795 RIGHT. NO MUSS, NO FUSS. 71 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,362 A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE DOING IT. 72 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,831 WHO? 73 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,466 PEOPLE... 74 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,901 YOU KNOW, WHO ARE ME. 75 00:03:58,605 --> 00:03:59,606 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 76 00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,442 I THINK IT'S SAD. 77 00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:02,575 WELL, I KNOW IT'S SAD. 78 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:03,776 I MEAN, IS IT STRAIGHT? 79 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,612 CHRISTMAS DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? 80 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:06,614 NOT ANYMORE. 81 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,949 WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE IN ANYTHING, MR. MONK? 82 00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:10,651 WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF? 83 00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:11,718 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK. 84 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,653 I THINK MR. MONK HAS BEEN AFRAID OF SO MANY THINGS 85 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,023 FOR SO MANY YEARS, HE'S AFRAID OF NOT BEING AFRAID. 86 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,757 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? THINK ABOUT IT. 87 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,560 I'M AFRAID TO. 88 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,627 HONEY, WILL YOU TRY THIS? THIS IS CHICKEN SOUP. 89 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:21,629 IT'S FOR THE CAPTAIN. 90 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:22,629 WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? 91 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,632 OH, HE'S VERY, VERY SICK. 92 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,865 IT'S BEEN THREE OR FOUR WEEKS NOW. 93 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,634 YEAH, HE'S GOT SOME SORT OF ARTHRITIS. 94 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,935 HE CAN BARELY WALK. 95 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,305 MM, IT'S PERFECT. HE'S GONNA LOVE IT. 96 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,805 I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT HIM. 97 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,742 I MEAN, I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR 15-- 98 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,810 IS THAT MY LADLE? 99 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,879 IS THAT A PROBLEM? 100 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,012 NO, IT'S FINE. 101 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,814 HELP YOURSELF. [doorbell rings] 102 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:42,882 I'LL GET IT. 103 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,485 WAIT, I--MAY I? 104 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,853 I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. 105 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,689 A NEW LADLE. 106 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,759 AND A LOCK FOR MY UTENSIL DRAWER. 107 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,862 UH, MR. MONK, THESE MEN WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 108 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,863 OH, MY GOD. 109 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,831 HELLO. ARE YOU MR. MONK, THE DETECTIVE? 110 00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,733 OH, MY GOD. 111 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:01,769 (the professor) THAT'S IKE. 112 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,706 THAT'S REGGIE. AND THEY CALL ME THE PROFESSOR. 113 00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,341 WE ASKED AROUND. 114 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,809 AND THEY SAYS YOU WAS THE BEST. 115 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,610 I'M SORRY. I CAN'T HELP YOU. 116 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,845 I'M RETIRED. 117 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,014 AS OF WHEN? 118 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,082 AS OF "HELLO, ARE YOU MR. MONK?" 119 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,550 HE'S NOT RETIRED. 120 00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,552 HE'S JOKING, HE'S JOKING. 121 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,353 SO WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE 122 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:21,754 TO HAVE A SEAT? 123 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:22,790 NO, NO, NO! 124 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:23,824 NO, THAT COUCH DOESN'T WORK. 125 00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:25,793 NONE OF THESE CHAIRS-- 126 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,495 HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA. 127 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,697 UH, WHY DON'T WE ALL STAND ON SOME NEWSPAPER? 128 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,432 JULIE, GO GET SOME NEWSPAPER. 129 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,733 EVERYBODY HOLD IT IN UNTIL WE GET SOME NEWSPAPER, OKAY? 130 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,034 HOLD WHAT IN? 131 00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:36,637 WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA DO? 132 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,637 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 133 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,838 JUST HOLD IT IN. HOLD IT. 134 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,574 CAN WE DO ANYTHING FOR YOU GENTLEMEN? 135 00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,776 LAST NIGHT, A FRIEND OF OURS WAS KILLED. 136 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,579 AND WE WANT TO HIRE MR. MONK TO INVESTIGATE. 137 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:47,915 [stammering] 138 00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,550 DID YOU TALK TO THE POLICE? 139 00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:50,884 THEY DIDN'T REALLY LISTEN, MA'AM. 140 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,720 THEY SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 141 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,754 AND THAT WILLIE-- THAT'S HIS NAME-- 142 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,790 HE CLIMBED INTO AN OLD REFRIGERATOR 143 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,891 TO STAY WARM, CLOSED THE DOOR, 144 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,093 AND THEN SUFFOCATED. 145 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,127 ACCIDENTS. 146 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,463 BUT YOU DON'T THINK SO. 147 00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,898 (Ike) LAST NIGHT, HE SAID THAT SOMEONE WAS AFTER HIM. 148 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,067 SAID SOMEONE WAS CHASING HIM. 149 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,401 BUT WE DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM. 150 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,036 DELUSIONAL. WE GOT MONEY. 151 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,141 YOU CAN REDEEM THESE ANYWHERE. 152 00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,410 IT COMES TO $14. 153 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:18,879 MY GOD! 154 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,747 (Reggie) SO WHAT YOU THINK? 155 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,016 UH, YOU KNOW, MR. MONK AND I ARE GONNA MULL THAT ONE OVER, 156 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,918 BUT IN THE MEANTIME, ARE YOU GUYS HUNGRY? 157 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,586 I JUST MADE SOME SOUP. I HAVE A WHOLE POT. 158 00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:27,588 (the professor) OH, WE'D APPRECIATE IT, MA'AM. 159 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:28,689 THANK YOU, MA'AM. 160 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,959 NA--JA-- EXCUSE ME. 161 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,394 EXCU-- 162 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,163 STAY. STAY. 163 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,533 STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. 164 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,601 STAY! STAY. 165 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:44,071 STAY. 166 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,105 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 167 00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:46,706 YOU'RE NOT REALLY GONNA FEED THEM. 168 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,108 OF COURSE I'M FEEDING THEM. THEY'RE HUNGRY. 169 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,810 OH, NATALIE, NATALIE, 170 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,845 I-I CAN'T TAKE THIS JOB. 171 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:52,713 PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME TAKE THIS JOB. 172 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,915 MR. MONK, YOU HAVE TO HELP THESE MEN. 173 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,149 OKAY, HERE IT COMES. 174 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,619 NUMBER ONE, THEY HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO. 175 00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,687 NUMBER TWO, THEY COLLECTED CANS AND BOTTLES TO PAY YOUR SALARY. 176 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,956 THAT'S EVERY NICKEL THEY HAVE IN THE WORLD. 177 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,658 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME A CLIENT OFFERED YOU 178 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:05,992 EVERY NICKEL THEY HAD? 179 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,995 EXCUSE ME. THROWING THIS AWAY? 180 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,497 YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S ALL YOURS. 181 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:10,663 YOU KEEP IT. 182 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,964 OH, WHAT IS THIS, MARBLE? 183 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,100 [grunting] I DON'T KNOW. 184 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,735 I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. 185 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:15,968 YEAH, MAYBE. 186 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,971 MAYBE IT IS. 187 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,706 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, FINE. 188 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,942 FINE, FINE, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. 189 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:22,776 YOU KNOW WHAT? 190 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,845 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE CRIME SCENE. 191 00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:25,846 HERE WE GO. 192 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:26,846 EVERYBODY OUT. 193 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,981 RIGHT. SHOW ME THE CRIME SCENE. 194 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,519 OUT--OUTSIDE. 195 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,055 WE WAITED FOR HIM ALL NIGHT! 196 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,191 NEVER CAME BACK! 197 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,694 SO WE WERE LOOKING FOR HIM, YOU KNOW, 198 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,062 LIKE A SEARCH PARTY! 199 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,062 RIGHT THERE! 200 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,098 WE FOUND HIS SHOPPING CART RIGHT OVER THERE! 201 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,701 CAN YOU EVEN SEE FROM THERE? 202 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,002 I'M FINE. 203 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,103 IS THAT THE REFRIGERATOR? 204 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,204 HUH? 205 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,807 (Monk) IS THAT THE REFRIGERATOR? 206 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:54,807 WHAT? 207 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,644 IS THAT THE REFRIGERATOR? 208 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,610 YES, SIR. 209 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,547 AND THEN WE NOTICED A PIECE OF CLOTHING-- 210 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,247 PART OF HIS JACKET STICKING OUT. 211 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:04,151 PROTRUDING, AS IT WERE. 212 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,718 SO WE OPENED IT. 213 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:09,990 HE WAS KINDA STUFFED IN THERE. 214 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:10,990 FACE-FIRST. 215 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,893 HE WAS FACING AWAY FROM YOU? 216 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,194 DID YOU TELL THAT TO THE POLICE? 217 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,964 YEAH, BUT THEY DON'T LISTEN TO US, MAN. 218 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,298 WE'RE, LIKE, INVISIBLE TO THEM. 219 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,668 WHAT'D HE SAY? 220 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,101 WHAT? WE'RE LIKE INV-- 221 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:24,672 THEY DON'T SEE US! 222 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,606 SO THEN WHAT HAPPENED? (Ike) HE FELL OUT! 223 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,975 BACKWARDS! 224 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,711 PLOP! 225 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:52,665 WHAT IS IT? 226 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,067 THERE'S ONLY ONE HANDPRINT. 227 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,303 HE WASN'T CLAWING AROUND. 228 00:08:57,336 --> 00:09:01,875 HE WASN'T PANICKING. 229 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,110 HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. 230 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,948 NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT SIGNING OFF ON THIS 231 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,984 TILL I TALK TO THE D.A. 232 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,019 WHAT WAS THE VICTIM'S NAME AGAIN? 233 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,754 WILLIE T. THAT'S WHAT THEY CALLED HIM. 234 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,589 BUT NOBODY KNEW HIS REAL NAME. 235 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,924 THE MEDICAL EXAMINER RUBBERSTAMPED IT, 236 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,091 BUT WE JUST CAME FROM THE CRIME SCENE. 237 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,059 RANDY, IT IS ALL WRONG. 238 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:23,062 I THINK SOMEBODY PUT HIM IN THAT REFRIGERATOR. 239 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,965 WE TALKED TO HIS BUM FRIENDS. 240 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,033 HIS FRIENDS. NOT HIS BUM FRIENDS. 241 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:27,967 THE NE'ER-DO-WELLS. 242 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,602 THEY'RE HOMELESS INDIVIDUALS. 243 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,004 THEY SAID SOMEBODY WAS CHASING HIM LAST NIGHT. 244 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,239 OKAY. 245 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,874 WELL, WE'LL REOPEN THE CASE. 246 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,008 I'LL CALL THE M.E. MYSELF. 247 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,911 JUST LIKE THAT? YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT. 248 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,179 OH, DIAZ, DIAZ, IS THAT THE REVISED AFFIDAVIT? 249 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,981 UH, I THINK SO. YEAH, LET'S SEE. 250 00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,985 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 251 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,787 GOOD, MAKE SURE THIS GETS TO JUDGE BARR, 252 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,221 NOT JUDGE COLEMAN. 253 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,389 YES, SIR. 254 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,289 ROOKIES. 255 00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,826 WOW, RANDY, YOU REALLY ARE IN CHARGE. 256 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,161 YEAH, WELL, WHEN THE CAPTAIN GOT SICK, 257 00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:55,394 SOMEBODY HAD TO STEP UP. 258 00:09:55,427 --> 00:09:57,129 HOW'S HE DOING? 259 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,164 WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL HIM, BUT HE DOESN'T ANSWER. 260 00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,165 WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S HERE. 261 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,167 HE'S HERE? 262 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,168 HE'S DOWNSTAIRS ON THE FRONT DESK. 263 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,168 HE SAID HE COULDN'T STAND 264 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:03,169 JUST SITTING AROUND HIS HOUSE. 265 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,136 IS HE OKAY? 266 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,938 HE GOT HERE LAST NIGHT, AND HE WON'T GO HOME. 267 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,941 IT'S LIKE HE'S TRYING TO PROVE SOMETHING, 268 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,976 AND IT'S NOT JUST HIS BACK. 269 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,211 HE'S IN A BAD PLACE RIGHT NOW. 270 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,147 MM. 271 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,048 SO, MRS. PARISI... 272 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,653 LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 273 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,354 YOU FILED A COMPLAINT 2 1/2 WEEKS AGO, 274 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,923 YOU SAID SOMEBODY VANDALIZED YOUR HOUSE. 275 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:23,923 THAT'S RIGHT. 276 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:24,991 YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT 277 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,125 SOME TEENAGERS PAINTED THIS THING 278 00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,027 ON YOUR FRONT DOOR. 279 00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:28,828 (Mrs. Parisi) THIS IS NOT A THING. 280 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:30,330 IT'S A FOUNTAIN. 281 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,530 OKAY. 282 00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:35,268 SO SOME TEENAGERS PAINTED THIS FOUNTAIN ON YOUR FRONT DOOR 283 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,403 AND NOW YOU WANT TO WITHDRAW THE COMPLAINT. 284 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,203 THAT'S RIGHT. 285 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:41,107 IT WASN'T TEENAGERS. I KNOW THAT NOW. 286 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,211 IT WAS GOD. 287 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:48,816 IT WAS A SIGN FROM GOD. 288 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:53,086 GOD DREW A LITTLE PICTURE ON YOUR FRONT DOOR. 289 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,022 IT WAS A MIRACLE. 290 00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:55,989 LAST SUMMER I COULDN'T BREATHE. 291 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,091 MY LUNGS WERE BURNING. SHE COULDN'T BREATHE. 292 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,459 WE WENT TO THREE DIFFERENT DOCTORS. 293 00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:00,927 AND THEN I HEARD ON THE NEWS 294 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,095 ABOUT THE FOUNTAIN 295 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,264 AT THE FRANKLIN PARK MONASTERY. 296 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,331 THEY LOOK JUST LIKE THIS. 297 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,801 IT WAS THIS FOUNTAIN. 298 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,937 AND WHEN SHE DRANK FROM IT, I WAS CURED. 299 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,370 SHE'S EATING AGAIN. 300 00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,774 SHE CAN SLEEP. 301 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,142 IT'S A MIRACLE. IT'S A MIRACLE. 302 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,143 IT'S A MIRACLE. 303 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,144 IT'S A MIRACLE. 304 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,147 WRITE THAT DOWN. "IT'S A MIRACLE. 305 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,981 YEAH. 306 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,082 YOU WALK ME THROUGH THIS AGAIN? 307 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:24,083 ONE MORE TIME. 308 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,886 OH, THERE HE IS. 309 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:28,288 (Monk) HEY. 310 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,090 HOW YOU DOING? 311 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,258 I FEEL LIKE I LOOK. 312 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,759 (Natalie) OH, GOD, BACK PROBLEMS ARE THE WORST. 313 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,094 WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? 314 00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:35,195 [groans] 315 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,462 I GOT FIVE DOCTORS. 316 00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:38,765 AND THEY HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE. 317 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:42,235 THEY'VE GOT ME ON THREE DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS. 318 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,136 I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING. EVEN THIS CRAP. 319 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,138 WHAT IS IT? 320 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,273 I DON'T KNOW. 321 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,240 IT'S SOME SORT OF ORGANIC, HIPPIE CONCOCTION FROM HELL. 322 00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:51,110 MY AUNT SENT ME A WHOLE CARTON OF IT. 323 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,379 [gags] 324 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,748 UGH, IT TASTES LIKE CHALK. 325 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:57,317 WHAT'S IN IT? 326 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,485 CHALK EXTRACT... 327 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,854 CAPTAIN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST HEAD ON HOME? 328 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:01,922 WE GOT THINGS COVERED HERE. 329 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,355 OH, NO, I CAN'T GO HOME. 330 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,192 LOOK AT ALL THOSE OPEN CASES. 331 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,160 ACTUALLY, THESE ONES ARE ALL CLEARED. 332 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,929 WE WERE NINE FOR NINE THIS WEEK. 333 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:13,801 NINE FOR NINE. 334 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,802 GOOD JOB. 335 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,804 I GUESS I'LL JUST GO HOME. 336 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,139 NOT THAT ANYBODY WOULD NOTICE. 337 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,073 YOU THINK YOU'LL BE OKAY? 338 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,341 I'M FINE. 339 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:25,177 EXCEPT FOR THE ALIMONY I CAN'T AFFORD, 340 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,246 I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE IN TWO--TWO YEARS, 341 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:31,183 AND MY SON--MY OLDEST BOY JARED IS NOT TALKING TO ME. 342 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,385 HE'S WITH HIS MOTHER. 343 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,288 HE DOESN'T EVEN PICK UP THE PHONE. 344 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,225 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 345 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,553 WAS THERE A SIGN ON YOUR HOUSE? 346 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,057 ME TOO. 347 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,192 I WAS THE FIRST ONE HERE. 348 00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:47,626 I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT LAST YEAR. 349 00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:50,596 I BUSTED MY HIP. THEY SAID I'D NEVER WALK AGAIN. 350 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:54,366 FIVE WEEKS AGO, THE SIGN APPEARED ON MY GARAGE DOOR. 351 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,368 IT SAID, "DRINK." 352 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,470 DRINK? 353 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,605 TWO DAYS LATER, 354 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,006 I WAS ON A TOUR GROUP WITH MY CHURCH. 355 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,073 WE STOPPED HERE. 356 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,942 AND THERE IT WAS. 357 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:06,145 SO I DRANK. 358 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,547 AND... 359 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,115 THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S A MIRACLE. 360 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:10,383 I THINK HE'S RIGHT. 361 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,052 I'VE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE. 362 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:14,453 I EVEN WENT ON THE 6:00 NEWS, YOU KNOW. 363 00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:17,490 TO SPREAD THE WORD. 364 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,437 YOU'RE NOT A BELIEVER. I CAN TELL. 365 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,206 BELIEVE ME, I WAS A LOT MORE SKEPTICAL THAN YOU. 366 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,341 WE ALL WERE. 367 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,309 SO WHAT DO YOU DO? 368 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,078 YOU'RE SELLING TICKETS? YOU GOT A GIFT SHOP? 369 00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:40,246 [laughing] NO. 370 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,981 THERE'S NO GIMMICK HERE, MY FRIEND. 371 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:43,515 NOBODY'S MAKING A NICKEL ON THIS. 372 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,484 IN FACT, WE'RE LOSING MONEY. 373 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:47,086 WE WERE PLANNING TO BUILD SOME CLASSROOMS 374 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,922 RIGHT WHERE WE'RE STANDING. 375 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,289 AND NOW? 376 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,959 WELL, WE CAN'T BUILD HERE NOW. 377 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,225 THIS IS SACRED GROUND. 378 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,462 MM. 379 00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:59,932 ARE YOU A MAN OF FAITH? 380 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,333 UM, I WAS AN ALTAR BOY, AND I THOUGHT 381 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,037 I WANTED TO BE A PRIEST WHEN I WAS A KID. 382 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,205 IT'S NEVER TOO LATE. 383 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,274 IT'S NOT A ONE-WAY STREET. 384 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:11,378 YOU CAN ALWAYS GO BACK. 385 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,913 TAKE A LEAP. 386 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:51,350 $13.85. 387 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:55,087 IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE $14. 388 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:55,922 I COUNTED $14. 389 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,057 THESE THREE BOTTLES ARE FROM CANADA. 390 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:01,561 WE CAN'T ACCEPT THEM. 391 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,096 ALL SET? 392 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,065 THE BUMS RIPPED ME OFF. 393 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,000 CANADIAN BOTTLES. 394 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,268 AW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY UP TO VANCOUVER? 395 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,269 YOU CAN REDEEM 'EM THERE. 396 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,403 FLY UP TO VANCOUVER? 397 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,337 YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD COST? 398 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:14,206 I MEAN, THE TAXI RIDE TO THE AIRPORT ALONE-- 399 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,676 I GET IT. YOU'RE JOKING. 400 00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:18,378 [laughs] WHAT DO YOU HAVE ALL THERE? 401 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,047 FLOWERS FOR THE CAPTAIN. 402 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,280 NO, I MEAN THESE. 403 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,015 UTENSILS. NEW PLATES. 404 00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:24,583 DIDN'T I MENTION? 405 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,385 I INVITED A FEW FRIENDS TO YOUR PLACE FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER. 406 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,519 I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. 407 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,255 WELL, THEY'RE NOT REALLY FRIENDS. 408 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,222 THEY'RE REALLY MORE CLIENTS. 409 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:34,293 WELL, I DON'T HAVE ANY CLIENTS EXCEPT THE BUMS. 410 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,528 [clears throat] 411 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,600 I SAID, I DON'T HAVE ANY CLIENTS EXCEPT FOR THE BUMS. 412 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,537 (Owen McCloskey) CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER! 413 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:47,440 FEELING BETTER? 414 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,375 NOT REALLY. 415 00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,744 MY BROTHER-IN-LAW HAD A BAD BACK. 416 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:52,812 YOU KNOW WHAT FIXED IT? 417 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,514 WHAT? ACUPUNCTURE. 418 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,548 HE SWEARS BY IT. 419 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,518 BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. 420 00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,519 I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING. 421 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,221 I'VE TRIED CRYSTALS, ACUPUNCTURE, 422 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,156 THIS MORNING, I WAS AT THE MONASTERY 423 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,226 IN FRANKLIN PARK DRINKING WATER FROM THE FOUNTAIN. 424 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,494 OH, YEAH, IT WAS ON THE NEWS. 425 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,528 THE MIRACLE FOUNTAIN. 426 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:10,663 YEAH. 427 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,798 ANY LUCK? 428 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,165 NOT YET. 429 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,402 WELL, MAYBE IT'S A TIME-RELEASE MIRACLE. 430 00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,736 [Owen laughs] 431 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,538 YEAH, SAY, 432 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:21,473 ARE YOU A RELIGIOUS MAN? 433 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:22,709 CAN'T SAY THAT I AM. 434 00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:24,711 I ONLY ASK 'CAUSE I SAW THE-- 435 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,578 (Owen) OH, MY EX-PARTNER 436 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,480 PUT THAT UP THE DAY WE OPENED. 437 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,250 REAL DEVIL DODGER. 438 00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:32,352 USED TO GO TO CHURCH EVERY WEEK FOR YEARS. 439 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,786 RAIN OR SHINE. 440 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,587 TILL THE DAY HE EMBEZZLED $18,000 441 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,156 FROM ME AND DISAPPEARED. 442 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,657 OF COURSE. 443 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,227 YOU GOT A PARTNER? 444 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,128 [laughing] YES, I DO. 445 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,262 BE CAREFUL. 446 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,463 THAT'S ALL I CAN TELL YOU. 447 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,432 OKAY. YOU'RE ALL SET. 448 00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:47,866 ALL RIGHT. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 449 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,103 OKAY, MERRY CHRISTMAS. 450 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,277 GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING. 451 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,778 SORRY I'M LATE. 452 00:17:58,810 --> 00:17:59,912 WHAT'S THAT? 453 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,515 I FORGOT THE GRAVY FOR MONDAY NIGHT, THE BIG DINNER. 454 00:18:02,548 --> 00:18:04,483 YOU WASTED A TRIP. 455 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,585 THEY MAKE THEIR OWN GRAVY. 456 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,752 WHO MAKES THEIR OWN GRAVY? 457 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,388 BUMS. 458 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,657 BUMS MAKE THEIR OWN GRAVY. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 459 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:15,461 YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW. 460 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,498 [alarm clock goes off] 461 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:05,211 HEAVENLY FATHER, AS YOU KNOW, LIFE AIN'T EASY FOR US. 462 00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,513 BUT WE KNOW YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE, 463 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,682 WATCHING OVER US. 464 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,917 AND WE WANT TO THANK YOU FOR SENDING OUR NEW FRIENDS 465 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:15,954 MR. MONK, NATALIE, AND JULIE INTO OUR LIVES. 466 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,958 AND MAY WE REMEMBER OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS 467 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,593 LESS FORTUNATE THAN OURSELVES 468 00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,328 IN THIS SEASON OF GIVING. 469 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,329 AMEN. 470 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:25,498 AMEN. AMEN. 471 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,500 MM, THIS IS GOOD. 472 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:29,801 THIS STUFFING IS DELICIOUS. 473 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,804 OH, THANK YOU, IT'S MY GRANDMOTHER'S RECIPE. 474 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,407 I LOVE THIS GRAVY. 475 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,643 USUALLY WE MAKE OUR OWN, BUT-- 476 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,479 EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT 477 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,480 ABOUT THE GRAVY? 478 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,882 MM. USUALLY WE MAKE OUR OWN. 479 00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:44,983 HUH. ISN'T THAT INTERESTING? 480 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:45,984 NATALIE, DID YOU HEAR THAT? 481 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,554 YES. YES, I DID. 482 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,490 GOOD. INTERESTING. 483 00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:02,868 SO, UM, WHY DO THEY YOU CALL YOU THE PROFESSOR? 484 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:08,607 JULIE, IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE HE LOVES TO READ 485 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,777 AND PROBABLY BECAUSE HE'S CURIOUS ABOUT THE WORLD 486 00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:11,778 AND OTHER CULTURES... 487 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:15,582 I EAT BOOKS. 488 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,616 (Natalie) OH. 489 00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:30,497 EXCUSE ME. 490 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:34,901 I'M JUST USING MY NAPKIN TO WIPE AWAY ANY FOOD 491 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,568 THAT MIGHT BE ON MY FACE. 492 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:39,638 I'M JUST WIPING MY FACE. 493 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,673 IT'S FUN. 494 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,611 SO HOW'S OUR CASE COMING? 495 00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:21,548 ACTUALLY, THERE'S BEEN SOME PROGRESS THERE. 496 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:24,384 THE MEDICAL EXAMINER CHANGED THE CAUSE OF DEATH. 497 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:25,718 IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT AFTER ALL. 498 00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:27,586 YOUR FRIEND WAS ASPHYXIATED. 499 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:28,988 HE WAS DRUNK? 500 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:34,560 NO, NO, NO, NO, HE WAS SUFFOCATED. 501 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:36,028 PROBABLY WITH A PLASTIC BAG. 502 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,963 IT'S GOOD NEWS, ACTUALLY, 503 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,665 BECAUSE NOW THEY'LL REOPEN THE CASE. 504 00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:42,434 WELL, THANK YOU FOR THAT, MR. MONK. 505 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:43,635 I MEAN, WE REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. 506 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,072 IT'S THE BEST 14 BUCKS WE EVER SPENT. 507 00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:49,107 YEAH, YEAH, SPEAKING OF MONEY, 508 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:52,778 IT WASN'T EXACTLY $14. 509 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,681 YOU WERE A LITTLE SHORT. 510 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:57,016 YEAH, THIS-- 511 00:21:57,048 --> 00:22:00,487 THEY WOULDN'T REDEEM THESE THREE BOTTLES 512 00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:02,489 'CAUSE THEY ARE FROM GUESS WHERE? 513 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:03,490 CANADA. 514 00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:04,691 YEAH. 515 00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:05,724 [clears throat] 516 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:08,760 I MEAN, IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 517 00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,730 IT'S 15 CENTS. 518 00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:12,531 IT'S HARDLY WORTH MENTIONING, BUT-- 519 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:21,106 CHALK EXTRACT. 520 00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,009 HEY, RANDY, HAVE YOU SEEN THE CAPTAIN? 521 00:22:24,042 --> 00:22:25,010 WE'VE BEEN CALLING HIM ALL NIGHT. 522 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,144 WELL, HE'S NOT HERE. 523 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,579 WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON? 524 00:22:27,614 --> 00:22:28,615 YOU REMEMBER THE HOMICIDE I WAS WORKING? 525 00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:29,816 YEAH, HOMELESS GUY. 526 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,617 RIGHT. HIS NAME WAS WILLIE T. 527 00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:32,751 THE NIGHT HE WAS KILLED, 528 00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:34,487 HE WAS OUT COLLECTING BOTTLES AND CANS. 529 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,488 YEAH, REMEMBER THAT CHALKY HERBAL STUFF 530 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:36,423 THE CAPTAIN WAS DRINKING? 531 00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,990 THERE WERE THREE BOTTLES OF THE SAME DRINK 532 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,593 IN WILLIE'S SHOPPING CART. 533 00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:42,729 WHICH MEANS THAT AT SOME POINT THAT NIGHT 534 00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:44,763 HE WAS IN THE CAPTAIN'S YARD, RIGHT? 535 00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:48,434 HUH, THAT'S INTERESTING. 536 00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:49,801 YEAH, MAYBE THE CAPTAIN SAW SOMETHING, 537 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:52,672 I MEAN, SOMETHING UNUSUAL. 538 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:53,839 WHAT IS THAT? 539 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,007 WHAT? 540 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,409 ON YOUR FACE. 541 00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:59,010 ON YOUR LIP. 542 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,813 IT LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE A MOUSTACHE. 543 00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:03,082 WELL, I'M IN CHARGE. IT COMES WITH THE JOB. 544 00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:10,656 OKAY, YOU'RE MAKING ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE. 545 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,724 YOU'RE MAKING ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE. 546 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:15,627 ANYWAYS, GUYS, THE CAPTAIN'S GONE. 547 00:23:15,662 --> 00:23:16,563 YOU'RE TOO LATE. 548 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:17,763 HE CAME IN YESTERDAY, HE GRABBED SOME STUFF, 549 00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:18,765 AND HE JUST LEFT. 550 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:19,766 FOR HOW LONG? 551 00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:21,768 HE DIDN'T SAY. 552 00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:12,684 I WON'T NEED THESE ANYMORE. 553 00:24:19,025 --> 00:24:20,893 UH, EXCUSE ME, WHAT'S GOING ON? 554 00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:22,662 THE FOUNTAIN IS BLESSED. 555 00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:24,564 EXODUS 23. 556 00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:27,266 "AND YE SHALL SERVE THE LORD YOUR GOD. 557 00:24:27,298 --> 00:24:29,268 "AND HE SHALL BLESS THY BREAD AND THY WATER. 558 00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,871 AND I WILL TAKE THE SICKNESS FROM AMIDST THEE." 559 00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:36,608 OKAY, WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FRIEND OF OURS. 560 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:38,611 UH, THEY FOUND HIS CAR PARKED OUT FRONT. 561 00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,813 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. SORRY. 562 00:24:43,982 --> 00:24:46,218 MR. MONK, LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE. 563 00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:48,119 THEY REALLY BELIEVE IN IT. 564 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,557 WELL, THEY'RE PEOPLE. THEY'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING. 565 00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:52,223 MR. MONK, YOU SHOULD TRY IT. 566 00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:53,526 YOU SHOULD DRINK FROM THE FOUNTAIN. 567 00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:54,492 YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. 568 00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:55,927 YOU'RE IN SO MUCH PAIN ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW? 569 00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:57,829 WHAT IF THERE'S SOMETHING TO IT? 570 00:24:57,864 --> 00:24:59,598 YOU KNOW? I MEAN, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE. 571 00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:01,634 THAT'S NOT EXACTLY TRUE. 572 00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:05,270 A LOT OF THINGS ARE WHAT WE CALL IMPOSSIBLE. 573 00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:07,539 IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF POSSIBLE. I GET IT. 574 00:25:07,574 --> 00:25:09,576 I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE. 575 00:25:09,608 --> 00:25:12,545 UM, THIS. 576 00:25:12,578 --> 00:25:13,846 HALLELUJAH. 577 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,148 EXCUSE ME, WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FRIEND OF OURS. 578 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,785 LELAND. 579 00:25:18,817 --> 00:25:20,318 HE WAS HERE. 580 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,854 HE STILL IS. 581 00:25:23,955 --> 00:25:26,258 WOW, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 582 00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:27,826 IS IT? 583 00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,561 IF YOU SAY SO. 584 00:25:29,596 --> 00:25:30,696 HELLO. 585 00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:32,163 I'M BROTHER ANDREW. 586 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:33,700 OH, HI. 587 00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:35,902 I'M NATALIE TEEGER, AND THIS IS ADRIAN MONK. 588 00:25:35,934 --> 00:25:38,570 [laughs] 589 00:25:38,605 --> 00:25:39,971 MR. MONK AND THE MONK. 590 00:25:41,941 --> 00:25:43,241 SORRY. 591 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:44,576 ARE YOU ALLOWED TO LAUGH? 592 00:25:44,611 --> 00:25:46,211 WE'VE BEEN KNOWN TO CHUCKLE. 593 00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:48,146 WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FRIEND OF OURS, 594 00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:49,315 LELAND STOTTLEMEYER. 595 00:25:49,347 --> 00:25:50,883 OH, YES, BROTHER LELAND. 596 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,751 BROTHER LELAND? 597 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:54,220 CAN WE TALK TO HIM? 598 00:25:54,252 --> 00:25:55,688 I'M AFRAID THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. 599 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:57,990 BROTHER LELAND HAS TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE. 600 00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:00,626 WELL, COULD WE JUST SEE HIM? 601 00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:02,060 WE WON'T SAY A WORD. 602 00:26:02,094 --> 00:26:03,328 WE'RE INVESTIGATING THIS HOMICIDE. 603 00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:04,896 IT'S VERY, VERY IMPORTANT. 604 00:26:04,931 --> 00:26:06,633 WELL, YOU MAY GO, 605 00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:09,300 BUT I'M AFRAID, MISS TEEGER, YOU'RE NOT PERMITTED 606 00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:11,170 BEYOND THE FOYER. 607 00:26:46,372 --> 00:26:48,374 CAPTAIN? 608 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:51,242 CAPTAIN? SHH. 609 00:26:53,179 --> 00:26:55,247 SORRY. I'M JUST LOOKING FOR... 610 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,717 SHH! 611 00:26:59,885 --> 00:27:01,053 ...A FRIEND OF MINE. 612 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:03,823 HERE'S THE THING. SHH! 613 00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:04,824 SHH! HERE'S THE THING. 614 00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:07,093 HERE'S THE THING. SHH! 615 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:08,661 SHH! HERE'S THE THING. 616 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:12,030 SHH! HERE'S THE THING. 617 00:27:14,701 --> 00:27:16,167 SHH! HERE'S THE-- 618 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,337 HERE'S-- SHH! 619 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:22,741 SHH! 620 00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:24,676 SHH! HERE'S-- 621 00:27:24,711 --> 00:27:27,012 HERE'S-- SHH! 622 00:27:27,046 --> 00:27:29,347 SHH! HERE'S THE THING. 623 00:27:32,919 --> 00:27:34,353 SHH! HERE'S THE THING. 624 00:27:34,385 --> 00:27:35,354 HERE'S-- SHH! 625 00:27:35,386 --> 00:27:36,355 HERE'S-- SHH! 626 00:27:36,387 --> 00:27:38,124 SHH! HERE'S-- 627 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:40,692 SHHHHHHHHHH! 628 00:27:47,933 --> 00:27:50,869 IT DOESN'T MATTER. SHH! 629 00:27:53,905 --> 00:27:56,407 CAPTAIN? 630 00:27:56,442 --> 00:27:58,243 CAPT-- 631 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,229 LELAND? 632 00:28:18,798 --> 00:28:20,231 ARE YOU OKAY? 633 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:23,134 LOOK, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, 634 00:28:23,169 --> 00:28:25,270 BUT I NEED-- SHH! 635 00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:29,741 IT'S ABOUT THE-- 636 00:28:59,005 --> 00:28:59,971 BUM. 637 00:29:00,006 --> 00:29:01,973 BUM. 638 00:29:03,108 --> 00:29:06,778 THE BUM WHO WAS... 639 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,115 KILLED. 640 00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:11,482 HE WAS AT YOUR HOUSE 641 00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:15,020 THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER. 642 00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:23,095 LELAND. 643 00:29:26,198 --> 00:29:30,769 WHY ARE YOU HERE? 644 00:29:38,576 --> 00:29:40,145 THE CEILING? 645 00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:42,882 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 646 00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:49,520 GOD? 647 00:29:49,555 --> 00:29:52,057 HE SPOKE TO YOU? 648 00:29:52,090 --> 00:29:54,125 WHAT DID HE SAY? 649 00:30:16,582 --> 00:30:19,518 "MY DEAR FRIENDS, DRINKING FROM THAT FOUNTAIN 650 00:30:19,550 --> 00:30:21,086 "HAS HEALED ME, NOT JUST PHYSICALLY, 651 00:30:21,119 --> 00:30:22,121 "SPIRITUALLY TOO. 652 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:23,622 "I HAVE MADE A DECISION. 653 00:30:23,654 --> 00:30:25,223 "I AM LEAVING ON THURSDAY MORNING, 654 00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:26,224 "CHRISTMAS DAY, 655 00:30:26,258 --> 00:30:27,393 "TO SPEND TWO YEARS 656 00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:28,961 "AT A MISSION IN CARMONA, SPAIN, 657 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:31,529 TO CLEANSE MYSELF AND START ANEW." 658 00:30:31,563 --> 00:30:32,597 TWO YEARS? 659 00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:34,333 "I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW 660 00:30:34,365 --> 00:30:36,868 "I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM ANYTHING. 661 00:30:36,903 --> 00:30:38,938 "I'M RUNNING TOWARD SOMETHING-- 662 00:30:38,971 --> 00:30:40,572 "SOMETHING TRUE AND WONDERFUL. 663 00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:43,409 "GOD BLESS YOU ALL, 664 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:44,911 BROTHER LELAND." 665 00:30:47,578 --> 00:30:50,316 AND HERE'S HIS BADGE. 666 00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:52,651 TWO YEARS? 667 00:30:52,683 --> 00:30:55,121 THAT'S ALMOST THREE YEARS. 668 00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:57,923 WITHOUT THE CAPTAIN? 669 00:30:57,957 --> 00:30:59,458 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 670 00:30:59,490 --> 00:31:01,961 IT'S ALMOST AS IF HE DIDN'T EVEN CONSIDER ME. 671 00:31:01,993 --> 00:31:04,596 WELL, MAYBE HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING. 672 00:31:04,630 --> 00:31:07,066 YEAH. MAYBE WE SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HIM. 673 00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:08,634 YEAH. 674 00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:10,368 OKAY. 675 00:31:10,402 --> 00:31:11,537 [laughs weakly] 676 00:31:11,569 --> 00:31:15,942 OKAY. LET ME TRY. 677 00:31:15,974 --> 00:31:19,678 [laughs] 678 00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,980 NO, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 679 00:31:22,013 --> 00:31:25,550 MR. MONK, WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT? 680 00:31:25,584 --> 00:31:27,086 TRY WHAT? DRINKING FROM THE FOUNTAIN. 681 00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:28,619 IT WORKED FOR THE CAPTAIN. 682 00:31:28,653 --> 00:31:30,355 I DON'T THINK SO. 683 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:31,490 OH, GOD, MR. MONK, COME ON. 684 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:33,259 YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING. 685 00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:34,692 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO 686 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,028 IF I DIDN'T THINK I'D SEE MITCH AGAIN. 687 00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:38,029 YOU MEAN IN HEAVEN? 688 00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:39,065 OF COURSE IN HEAVEN! 689 00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:40,566 WHERE'D YOU THINK I WAS GOING? 690 00:31:40,598 --> 00:31:43,068 WELL, YOU KNOW, THE DRINKING, AND YOU KISSED A LEPER. 691 00:31:43,102 --> 00:31:44,702 YOU THINK I'M GOING TO HELL? 692 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:45,703 SHE KISSED A LEPER. 693 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:46,704 MR. MONK, SERIOUSLY. 694 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,674 SERIOUSLY, DEEP DOWN, IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS, 695 00:31:49,708 --> 00:31:52,377 DON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU'LL SEE TRUDY AGAIN? 696 00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:55,981 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 697 00:31:56,015 --> 00:31:56,815 COME ON. WE'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR. 698 00:31:56,847 --> 00:31:58,183 DON'T OPEN ANY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. 699 00:31:58,217 --> 00:31:59,684 WHAT? WHERE ARE WE GOING? 700 00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:01,653 THIS CAN COUNT AS MY CHRISTMAS GIFT. 701 00:32:01,686 --> 00:32:03,088 WHERE ARE WE GOING? 702 00:32:03,122 --> 00:32:05,356 YOU LOOK THIRSTY. I THINK YOU NEED A DRINK. 703 00:32:05,391 --> 00:32:06,592 WHAT? 704 00:32:06,625 --> 00:32:08,527 OH, NO. 705 00:32:32,483 --> 00:32:36,454 KATIE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 706 00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:39,025 I TOLD YOU WE CAN'T BE SEEN TOGETHER. 707 00:32:39,057 --> 00:32:41,559 YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING. 708 00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:47,665 ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE? 709 00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:51,136 I-I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE, OWEN. 710 00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:53,638 I'M SORRY. 711 00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:56,241 THESE PEOPLE, THEY'RE COMING FROM ALL OVER NOW, 712 00:32:56,275 --> 00:32:58,243 AND SOME OF THEM ARE REALLY SICK. 713 00:32:58,277 --> 00:33:00,412 SO WHAT? YOU'RE NOT THERE. 714 00:33:00,445 --> 00:33:03,048 THEY'RE--THEY'RE THROWING THEIR MEDICINE AWAY. 715 00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:04,415 THEY REALLY BELIEVE IN THE FOUNTAIN. 716 00:33:04,450 --> 00:33:07,086 THAT WAS THE WHOLE IDEA. 717 00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:10,056 I PROMISE I WON'T TELL ANYONE. 718 00:33:10,088 --> 00:33:12,057 I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY. 719 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:15,594 DON'T BE A CHILD! 720 00:33:15,626 --> 00:33:20,066 NOBODY'S GOING ANYWHERE. 721 00:33:20,098 --> 00:33:24,236 YOU AND I BOTH KNOW WHAT'S UNDER THAT FOUNTAIN. 722 00:33:24,269 --> 00:33:27,739 YOU'RE IN THIS NOW. 723 00:33:27,772 --> 00:33:29,674 WE'RE BOTH IN IT. 724 00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:31,143 UNDERSTAND? 725 00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:33,345 [whimpers] 726 00:33:38,284 --> 00:33:40,685 DON'T WORRY, DARLING. 727 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,721 IT'S ALMOST OVER. 728 00:34:00,439 --> 00:34:01,472 I CAN'T DO IT. 729 00:34:01,507 --> 00:34:03,174 OH, MR. MONK, COME ON. I CAN'T. 730 00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:05,510 PLEASE. LOOK, THERE'S THE CAPTAIN'S CANE. 731 00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:06,577 YEAH, IT'S PART OF THE RITUAL, 732 00:34:06,612 --> 00:34:07,679 BECAUSE HE DIDN'T NEED IT ANYMORE. 733 00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:09,715 PLEASE DRINK. 734 00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:19,590 I DON'T SEE... 735 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:21,427 WHAT? WHAT IS IT? 736 00:34:21,460 --> 00:34:23,195 THESE PILLS. 737 00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:27,199 HALF THE BOTTLES-- MORE THAN HALF-- 738 00:34:27,233 --> 00:34:30,135 ARE FROM THE SAME PHARMACY. 739 00:34:30,168 --> 00:34:33,539 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE. 740 00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:36,507 JUST PUT THIS IN YOUR BAG. 741 00:34:38,610 --> 00:34:39,677 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 742 00:34:39,710 --> 00:34:41,347 I'M SORRY, MA'AM. 743 00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:42,648 I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE TO STAY BACK. 744 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:43,681 THIS MAY BE 745 00:34:43,715 --> 00:34:45,483 A CRIME SCENE. A CRIME SCENE? 746 00:34:45,516 --> 00:34:47,318 CONSPIRACY. PROBABLY FRAUD. 747 00:34:47,353 --> 00:34:49,086 IT ISN'T FRAUD. IT WAS MURDER. 748 00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:51,657 IT WASN'T ME. 749 00:34:51,690 --> 00:34:53,891 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM THEN. 750 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:56,561 NINE YEARS AGO, MY FIANCE CAUGHT HIS BUSINESS PARTNER 751 00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,465 STEALING MONEY, AND KILLED HIM. 752 00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:01,266 YOUR FIANCE? 753 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:02,833 OWEN MCCLOSKEY. 754 00:35:02,867 --> 00:35:04,769 HE FILLED THOSE PRESCRIPTIONS. 755 00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:11,476 THE PHARMACIST. 756 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:14,480 [Gregorian chant] 757 00:35:14,512 --> 00:35:22,521 * 758 00:36:07,865 --> 00:36:09,434 CAPTAIN. 759 00:36:09,467 --> 00:36:10,601 CAPTAIN. 760 00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:11,902 CAPTAIN, YOU CAN'T GO TO SPAIN-- 761 00:36:11,936 --> 00:36:12,971 WITHOUT KNOWING THE TRUTH. 762 00:36:13,003 --> 00:36:16,474 SHH! 763 00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:18,476 IT WASN'T A MIRACLE. 764 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:21,947 THE WATER, THE FOUNTAIN, IT WAS ALL A HOAX. 765 00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:23,514 (Natalie) I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN. 766 00:36:23,548 --> 00:36:25,817 (Monk) IT WAS THE PHARMACIST, OWEN MCCLOSKEY. 767 00:36:25,851 --> 00:36:27,818 HE KILLED WILLIE T. 768 00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:35,661 [chanting] 769 00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:37,862 * HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED 770 00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:40,931 * MCCLOSKEY KILLED HIS PARTNER * 771 00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:45,603 * AND BURIED HIM HERE 772 00:36:45,637 --> 00:36:48,639 * NINE YEARS LATER 773 00:36:48,673 --> 00:36:51,409 * PLANNING TO RENOVATE 774 00:36:51,443 --> 00:36:55,581 * BODY WOULD BE DISCOVERED * 775 00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:59,585 (Natalie) * HE COULDN'T DIG UP THE BODY * 776 00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:03,755 * THEY HAD BUILT A FOUNTAIN THERE * 777 00:37:03,789 --> 00:37:09,728 * HE HAD TO STOP THEM FROM DIGGING * 778 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:14,632 * HE STARTED CHANGING THEIR PRESCRIPTIONS * 779 00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:18,336 * TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS SICKER * 780 00:37:18,369 --> 00:37:21,873 (Natalie) * THAT'S WHY YOU NEVER GOT BETTER * 781 00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:24,809 * HE DID IT TO EVERYONE 782 00:37:24,842 --> 00:37:28,646 * HE PAINTED THAT SIGN ON YOUR DOOR * 783 00:37:28,679 --> 00:37:31,682 * WILLIE THE BUM 784 00:37:31,717 --> 00:37:35,521 * MUST HAVE SEEN HIM 785 00:37:35,554 --> 00:37:39,724 * THAT'S WHY MCCLOSKEY KILLED HIM * 786 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:44,929 (monks) * AMEN 787 00:37:48,599 --> 00:37:51,769 SO HE WAS MESSING WITH EVERYBODY'S MEDICATION. 788 00:37:51,802 --> 00:37:53,771 MAKING US ALL SICKER. 789 00:37:53,804 --> 00:37:56,074 AND THEN HE SENT US TO THAT FOUNTAIN. 790 00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:57,775 THAT'S IT. 791 00:37:57,809 --> 00:37:59,777 SO AFTER WE DRANK, 792 00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:02,914 HE'D GIVE US SOME REAL MEDICATION. 793 00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:04,416 [laughs] 794 00:38:04,449 --> 00:38:06,652 MAKING US ALL FEEL BETTER. 795 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:07,818 AND IT WORKED. 796 00:38:07,853 --> 00:38:09,688 THE FOUNTAIN BECAME A SHRINE, 797 00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:10,989 A SACRED PLACE. 798 00:38:11,021 --> 00:38:14,726 WHICH, OF COURSE, THEY WOULD NEVER DIG UP. 799 00:38:16,762 --> 00:38:20,766 WELL, SO MUCH FOR MIRACLES. 800 00:38:32,478 --> 00:38:34,012 THANK YOU, MR. MONK. 801 00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:36,648 THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS I CAN REMEMBER. 802 00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,416 YEAH. I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB. 803 00:38:38,449 --> 00:38:39,784 (Reggie) NO, IT WASN'T JUST THAT. 804 00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:40,751 THANKS FOR THE CARING. 805 00:38:40,786 --> 00:38:43,789 WELL, THE CARING PART WAS MOSTLY NATALIE. 806 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:44,922 WE, UH, WE WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING. 807 00:38:44,956 --> 00:38:46,724 WE MADE IT OURSELVES. 808 00:38:46,757 --> 00:38:48,559 IT'S GRAVY. 809 00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:50,762 I CAN'T TAKE THAT. 810 00:38:50,795 --> 00:38:51,762 NO, WE INSIST. 811 00:38:51,797 --> 00:38:53,431 AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR US. 812 00:38:53,465 --> 00:38:54,766 NO, NO, NO, HE MEANS HE LITERALLY CAN'T TAKE IT. 813 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,501 I GOT IT, THOUGH. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 814 00:38:56,534 --> 00:38:57,503 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 815 00:38:57,536 --> 00:38:58,969 MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 816 00:38:59,003 --> 00:38:59,971 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 817 00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:01,539 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 818 00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:03,409 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 819 00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:06,911 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 820 00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:13,083 [overlapping chatter] 821 00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:14,820 MCCLOSKEY'S ALREADY TALKING. 822 00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:18,824 WE'RE DIGGING UP THE FOUNTAIN TOMORROW TOO. 823 00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:20,891 I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT. 824 00:39:20,925 --> 00:39:23,494 I'M NOT. 825 00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:24,929 HOW'S THAT? 826 00:39:24,963 --> 00:39:27,965 I'M NOT SORRY. 827 00:39:27,998 --> 00:39:29,568 I KNOW IT'S ALL A HOAX. 828 00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:30,835 I KNOW IT'S A BIG CON GAME. 829 00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:31,869 BUT... 830 00:39:31,902 --> 00:39:34,005 [laughs] IT FELT REAL. 831 00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:35,806 THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY. 832 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:36,807 RANDY, WHEN I DRANK THAT WATER, 833 00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:37,842 SOMETHING HAPPENED. 834 00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:40,010 IT WAS LIKE A SLATE INSIDE ME WAS WIPED CLEAN 835 00:39:40,045 --> 00:39:43,882 AND I STARTED OVER. 836 00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:46,652 IT FELT GREAT. 837 00:39:46,684 --> 00:39:48,186 [sighs] 838 00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:49,688 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? 839 00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:50,922 I'M GONNA CALL MY SON. 840 00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:52,923 OH, NO, NO, HANG ON. WAIT A MINUTE. 841 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:55,059 UM, I ALMOST FORGOT. 842 00:39:55,092 --> 00:39:59,030 THIS IS FOR YOU. 843 00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,699 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 844 00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:02,733 [cell phone rings] 845 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:06,771 JARED, HEY! 846 00:40:06,804 --> 00:40:09,507 I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU. 847 00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,878 YEAH, I LOVE YOU TOO. 848 00:40:12,911 --> 00:40:14,545 IT'S A RAZOR. 849 00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:15,914 IS THIS FOR ME? 850 00:40:15,947 --> 00:40:17,782 SHAVE IT. 851 00:40:17,815 --> 00:40:18,849 OH, I-- 852 00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:21,018 OH, I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU. 853 00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:22,086 I'M--I-- 854 00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:24,590 I'M FREE ALL WEEKEND. 855 00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:26,056 THAT'D BE GREAT. 856 00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:27,893 WHAT IF I GROW A LITTLE GOATEE INSTEAD? 857 00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:28,927 NO. 858 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,762 UH, FRIDAY, UH, FRIDAY, YEAH. 859 00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:32,130 FRIDAY NIGHT, I'LL PICK YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT. 860 00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:33,998 WHAT ABOUT SIDEBURNS? I COULD DO SIDEBURNS. 861 00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:35,766 LIKE, PROBABLY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF MY EAR, I BET. 862 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,934 MUTTON CHOPS. NO. 863 00:40:36,967 --> 00:40:38,936 HEY, LOOK, UM, FRIDAY NIGHT, 864 00:40:38,969 --> 00:40:39,938 I'LL MEET YOU AT THE AIRPORT. 865 00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:40,706 SOUL PATCH. 866 00:40:40,739 --> 00:40:42,507 I CAN DO A SOUL PATCH RIGHT THERE. 867 00:40:42,541 --> 00:40:46,577 REALLY? WH--WH--WHAT'S HER NAME? 868 00:40:46,612 --> 00:40:47,679 AWESOME. 869 00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,481 I MEAN, THAT-- THAT'S GREAT. 870 00:40:49,514 --> 00:40:52,717 COOL. 871 00:40:52,751 --> 00:40:55,753 [laughs] I'LL MEET YOU IN THE CAR. 872 00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:12,664 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 57256

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