Original subtitles

DEX.

EXCUSE ME, UM...

THEY'RE WAITING FOR A FINAL DECISION ABOUT THE COVER.

AH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, DARLING?

UM...

THAT ONE.

AND WHICH ONE WOULD YOU PICK IF IT WAS YOU ON THE COVER?

HA HA HA HA. THAT ONE.

THAT ONE, YES. ALL RIGHT, WE'LL TAKE THAT ONE,

AND BE SURE THERE ARE MORE GIRLS HERE TONIGHT.

LAST WEEK WAS LIKE A STAG PARTY.

THIS IS PARADISE ON EARTH, REMEMBER?

IT'S TAKEN CARE OF.

[ GIGGLES ]

ELLIOT, YOU'RE EARLY.

THE PARTY DOESN'T KICK IN TILL MIDNIGHT.

DEXTER, I'M NOT HERE FOR THE PARTY.

AMBER, THIS IS, UH, ELLIOT D'SOUZA,

CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER FOR DHARMEN PUBLISHING,

YOU KNOW, WHICH MEANS, TECHNICALLY,

THIS PENCIL PUSHER IS MY BOSS.

DEX, WE HAVE TO TALK -- PRIVATELY.

GO WAIT BY THE POOL.

DEX, I MADE A DECISION. I WANTED YOU TO HEAR IT FROM ME.

THE MAGAZINE IS HEMORRHAGING DOLLARS.

IT JUST ISN'T PAYING FOR ITSELF.

NOW, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

THE WHOLE INDUSTRY IS SHRINKING.

IT'S THE INTERNET, IT'S VIDEOS --

"SAPPHIRE" MAGAZINE IS MORE THAN A MAGAZINE.

IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.

WELL, THAT MAY BE TRUE,

BUT THE CORPORATION JUST CAN'T CARRY YOU

AND THIS FANTASY WORLD ANYMORE,

SO I'VE DECIDED TO PULL THE PLUG.

SO THAT'S IT, HUH?

I'M AFRAID SO.

HEY, IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED.

ACTUALLY, I'M SURPRISED YOU WAITED THIS LONG.

LISTEN, ELLIOT --

CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? ONE LAST FAVOR.

DON'T MAKE ANY ANNOUNCEMENT FOR A DAY OR SO.

THIS IS OUR ANNIVERSARY PARTY.

LET ME ENJOY THE WEEKEND.

OF COURSE. AND THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T TELL ANYBODY.

THOSE BASTARDS ON THE BOARD NEVER COULD KEEP A SECRET.

YES, I UNDERSTAND. IT CAN WAIT UNTIL MONDAY.

ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY?

NO, NO, THANK YOU.

OH, I KNOW, I KNOW. YOU'RE GOING HOME,

ASLEEP BY MIDNIGHT, UP AT 7:00, WORK OUT FOR 35 MINUTES.

ELLIOT, YOU ARE SO PREDICTABLE.

YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, HAVE SOME FUN.

I'M GOING TO PASS.

IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A PARTY.

YOU KNOW ME -- I'M GOING OUT WITH A BANG.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

[ RING ]

[ RING ]

Dexter: ELLIOT? IT'S DEX.

IS THIS A BAD TIME?

NO, I'M IN THE GYM. HOW WAS THE PARTY?

MUST HAVE BEEN GREAT -- I DON'T REMEMBER A THING.

UM, LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING

IF YOU'D RECONSIDER YOUR DECISION.

NO.

I'M AFRAID NOT, DEX.

AW, COME ON. WHAT ABOUT KEEPING THE MANSION OPEN?

JUST THE MANSION. WE COULD RENT IT OUT.

DEX, DEX, DON'T EVEN ASK.

THE PLACE IS DROWNING IN RED INK.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SELL IT.

IS THAT YOUR FINAL DECISION?

I'M AFRAID SO, DEXTER.

OKAY.

IT'S YOUR FUNERAL.

DEXTER, LET'S NOT BE SO DRAMATIC, SHALL WE?

OH! [ CHOKING ]

* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE

* DISORDER AND CONFUSION EVERYWHERE *

* NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE, WELL, I DO *

* HEY, WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

* IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE

* POISON IN THE VERY AIR WE BREATHE *

* DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THE WATER THAT YOU DRINK? *

* WELL, I DO, AND IT'S AMAZING *

* PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY 'CAUSE I WORRY ALL THE TIME *

* IF YOU PAID ATTENTION, YOU'D BE WORRIED, TOO *

* YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION, ALL THIS WORLD WE LOVE SO MUCH *

* MIGHT JUST KILL YOU

* I COULD BE WRONG NOW

* BUT I DON'T THINK SO

* 'CAUSE IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE *

NOT TOO MUCH OFF THE TOP. JUST AN EIGHTH OF AN INCH.

I KNOW.

I WANT TO LOOK RUGGED, BUT NOT TOO MACHO.

DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LOOK TOO MACHO.

IT'S A LITTLE LONG.

YOU KNOW, THIS WAS NOT IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR REGULAR BARBER?

I DON'T KNOW. EVERY TIME I GO THERE, IT'S CLOSED.

HMM, I WONDER WHY.

THE LAST TIME I WENT, I THOUGHT I SAW HIM IN THE BACK ROOM,

BUT IT JUST COULDN'T HAVE BEEN HIM.

SEE, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE STILL LONG.

YOU SEE THAT? THAT'S 3/16ths.

ADRIAN, THESE ARE VERY SHARP SCISSORS.

DON'T PISS ME OFF.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ] I'LL GET THAT.

ADRIAN MONK'S OFFICE.

UH-HUH.

[ Whispers ] IT'S A JOB.

YEAH, 10:00 TOMORROW IS FINE.

MAKE IT 11:30. IT'S TRASH DAY.

10:00. WE'LL BE THERE.

THANKS.

MR. MONK?

AND -- AND YOU MUST BE SHARONA?

OH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

I'M DIANE LUDEN. I AM -- I-I-I WAS

ELLIOT D'SOUZA'S ASSISTANT.

I'M SORRY. WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO SHAKE HANDS?

YOU'RE THE FIRST PRIVATE DETECTIVE I EVER MET.

OH, NO, NO, DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S HIM.

PLEASE, COME IN.

UH, MISS LUDEN,

THE ELEVATOR WE JUST TOOK --

WELL, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY A PRIVATE ELEVATOR.

THAT'S RIGHT. IT COMES STRAIGHT UP TO THE PENTHOUSE.

UM, I FOUND HIM SUNDAY MORNING.

HE WAS IN THERE, IN HIS PRIVATE GYM.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WE HEARD ABOUT IT ON THE NEWS.

THEY SAID HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT THEY THOUGHT AT FIRST,

BUT THEY DID AN AUTOPSY, AND IT WASN'T A HEART ATTACK.

HE WAS LIFTING AN 80-POUND BARBELL,

AND -- AND THEY THINK IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED AND CRUSHED HIS WINDPIPE.

ARE YOU OKAY?

UH, THE SIGN IN FRONT OF THAT HOTEL --

THEY MISSPELLED "KIWANIS."

YOU MEAN THAT SIGN FIVE BLOCKS AWAY?

WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO GO DOWN THERE

AND HAVE THEM FIX IT?

NO, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

WE -- WE COULD CALL THEM.

THERE.

THE SIGN'S FIXED.

MISS LUDEN, UH, WHY EXACTLY DID YOU CALL?

MR. MONK, I THINK ELLIOT WAS MURDERED.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS, HE AND DEXTER LARSEN

HAVE BEEN THREATENING EACH OTHER.

DEXTER LARSEN?

DEXTER LAR-- WITH -- WITH --

WITH -- WITH THE NAKED --

ELLIOT PUBLISHED "SAPPHIRE" MAGAZINE.

HE WAS THINKING OF SHUTTING IT DOWN.

DEXTER WAS PRETTY ANGRY.

THAT CERTAINLY COULD BE A MOTIVE.

COULD WE LOOK AT THIS PRIVATE GYM?

HE WAS RIGHT THERE.

IT WAS HORRIBLE. THE BARBELL WAS STILL ON HIS NECK.

IS THIS EXACTLY THE WAY THE ROOM WAS WHEN YOU FOUND HIM?

YES, SIR. I WOULDN'T LET THE PARAMEDICS TOUCH A THING.

GOOD, GOOD. AND HE WAS ALONE, AND THE DOOR WAS LOCKED?

THAT'S RIGHT. FROM THE INSIDE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

HMM.

CLOCK -- SLOW.

40 MINUTES.

THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THIS ROOM.

WHAT? I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT. SOMETHING.

IS THIS HIS BRIEFCASE?

YES, HE ALWAYS HAD IT WITH HIM,

AND, UH, THIS FLOPPY WAS IN THERE.

THIS WAS HIS FINAL RECOMMENDATION.

WHAT'D IT SAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHEN I TRIED TO OPEN IT, IT WAS BLANK,

LIKE SOMEBODY ERASED IT.

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

OH, THAT -- THAT WAS FROM LAST YEAR.

THEY RAN A PROFILE ON ELLIOT IN THE MAGAZINE -- PAGE 53.

PAGE 53.

5-3. 5-3.

OHH...

ARE YOU A RELIGIOUS MAN, MR. MONK?

HE IS NOW.

WIPE. WIPE.

WIPE. WIPE.

Stottlemeyer: THAT ASSISTANT CALLED YOU.

Sharona: DIANE LUDEN.

YEAH, I GAVE HER YOUR NAME.

I FIGURED YOU'D COLLECT A NICE PAYDAY

AFTER YOU CONVINCED HER SHE WAS CRAZY.

ACTUALLY, I THINK SHE MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING.

WE'D LIKE TO LOOK AT THE OFFICIAL FILE.

LOOK, THERE IS NO D'SOUZA CASE.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

THE BARBELL SLIPPED, CRUSHED HIS TRACHEA.

HE WAS ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT ON THE 35th FLOOR.

I KNOW. THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY UP.

IT WAS A PRIVATE ELEVATOR. NOBODY ELSE USED IT.

I KNOW.

THE APARTMENT WAS LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE.

I KNOW.

ARE YOU GOING TO BE COOPERATING ON THIS OR NOT?

IF YOU TWO WANT TO GO TILTING AT WINDMILLS, BE MY GUEST,

BUT THIS TIME, MONK, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

OKAY, FORGET IT. LET'S GO. WHAT'S OUR FIRST STOP?

SAPPHIRE MANSION. WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

SAPPHIRE MANSION. YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?

YES, ELLIOT D'SOUZA CONTROLLED THAT MAGAZINE.

HE WAS ABOUT TO PULL THE PLUG ON DEXTER LARSEN.

I THINK LARSEN MIGHT BE INVOLVED.

SAPPHIRE MANSION.

I'VE NEVER BEEN. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN?

ONCE, 10 YEARS AGO.

DID YOUR WIFE FIND OUT?

YEAH, I TOLD HER IN THERAPY.

WE WERE PLAYING THE HONESTY GAME.

RED ROOF INN?

YEP. THIS WAS BEFORE THEY BUILT THE NEW LOBBY.

YOU KNOW, CAPTAIN, I THINK MONK MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TAG ALONG.

LIEUTENANT, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT.

OH, GOD.

HEY, I'M MARRIED. I'M NOT DEAD.

[ GROANS ]

[ WOMEN GIGGLING ]

OHH.

KAREN, HONEY? HI. I CAN'T MAKE IT FOR LUNCH TODAY.

YEAH, SOMETHING'S POPPED UP.

YEAH, IT'S A HOMICIDE. PRETTY NASTY BUSINESS.

NO, I WON'T LET IT BOTHER ME.

BYE-BYE.

[ Gasps ] BETHANY DANIELS.

SHE WAS MAY'S "SAPPHIRE" GIRL OF THE MONTH.

[ Whispers ] NOT THIS MAY -- LAST MAY.

HI. I'M BETHANY.

YEAH, WE KNOW.

SO, UH, HOW'S YOUR SINGING CAREER COMING?

OH, FINE. THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

DEXTER WILL BE DOWN IN A SECOND.

HE'D LIKE IT IF YOU'D JUST MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE.

AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE UNWINDING,

THERE'S AN INDOOR POOL AT THE END OF THE HALL.

WE DIDN'T -- WE DIDN'T BRING OUR SUITS.

[ Whispers ] HE'S NEW HERE.

I THOUGHT SO.

HA HA. WELL, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

SEE YA.

BYE. BYE-BYE.

YOU CAN LOOK NOW. SHE'S GONE.

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

THAT IS HOW DEX GOT STARTED.

THIS IS HIS FIRST MAGAZINE.

HE ALMOST WENT BANKRUPT, AND THEN, ONE DAY,

HE PUT MISS TRANSISTOR ON THE COVER --

AND VOILà.

VOILà?

YEAH, HE RENAMED IT "SAPPHIRE" MAGAZINE,

DROPPED ALL THE ELECTRONIC STUFF,

AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

SILICONE AND AIRBRUSHED WOMEN?

WELL, IT'S A KIND OF HISTORY.

OH, GENTLEMEN, I AM SO SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT HERE TO CONFISCATE MY CUBANS.

CUBANO DE ORO -- MMM.

AH, THE FINEST CIGAR IN THE WORLD.

WOULD ANYBODY CARE FOR ONE?

NO, THANK YOU. WE'RE FROM HOMICIDE.

I'M CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER. SORRY, I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME.

I'M DEXTER LARSEN.

LIEUTENANT DISHER... HEY, DEX.

SHARONA FLEMING, ADRIAN MONK.

HI.

SHARONA -- THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

IT'S FROM THE BIBLE, ISN'T IT?

HAVE YOU READ THE BIBLE?

NOT LATELY.

CAN I GET YOU GENTLEMEN ANYTHING?

ACTUALLY, WE'RE -- WE'RE HERE TO TALK

ABOUT THE DEATH OF -- OF ELLIOT D'SOUZA.

YES. YES, IT'S HEARTBREAKING.

I, UH, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T TOUCH THAT.

IT'S AN ORIGINAL CARVASIA. IT'S WORTH $100,000.

MR. LARSEN, WHERE -- WHERE --

WHERE WERE YOU ON SUNDAY MORNING?

WHERE WAS I?

LET ME SHOW YOU.

THIS IS IT, GUYS.

THIS IS THE ROOM WHERE I GET...

99% OF MY INSPIRATION.

Disher: OH, MY GOD. WE'RE REALLY HERE.

WE'RE IN HIS BEDROOM. PINCH ME.

NO.

I DIDN'T -- I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY PINCH ME.

RANDY, SHUT UP. WE'RE DONE TALKING ABOUT PINCHING.

YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT SUNDAY.

I WAS RIGHT HERE IN BED ALL MORNING.

WERE YOU ALONE?

NO, MR. MONK, I HAD COMPANY.

AH, LET'S SEE. UM...

GWEN. NO, THAT WAS FRIDAY.

UH, BRIANNA WAS --

NO, THAT WAS ALSO FRIDAY.

OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER.

UH, COULD YOU ASK AMBER TO COME UPSTAIRS, PLEASE?

MR. LARSEN, WE UNDERSTAND THAT ELLIOT D'SOUZA

WAS PLANNING TO SHUT DOWN YOUR MAGAZINE.

WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE. THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE,

HE SAID HE WAS STILL UNDECIDED.

SO YOU CAN RELAX. YOUR MAGAZINE'S SAFE.

I'M ALWAYS RELAXED.

[ MOTOR WHIRRING, BED RATTLING ]

WHOA THERE, COWBOY. DON'T HURT YOURSELF.

LIEUTENANT DISHER...

GET OFF THE BED.

LOOK AT THAT. THERE'S A MIRROR ABOVE THE BED.

WHY WOULD HE NEED A MIRROR ON THE CEILING?

Sharona: DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.

Dexter: GENTLEMEN, THIS IS AMBER POST,

OUR "SAPPHIRE" GIRL OF THE MONTH,

AND PERHAPS OUR "SAPPHIRE" GIRL OF THE YEAR.

UH, AMBER, SWEETHEART,

THESE GENTLEMEN ARE FROM THE POLICE,

AND THEY'RE WONDERING

WHERE I WAS ON SUNDAY MORNING.

WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GO INTO DETAIL?

YEAH, I THINK THAT WOULD BE BEST.

NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO -- NO -- NO DETAILS.

JUST THE BIG VAGUE GENERAL PICTURE.

WELL, DEXTER AND I WERE HERE...

IN BED...

ALL MORNING, AND I REMEMBER WE WOKE UP

AND WATCHED THE SUN RISE TOGETHER.

AND, ACTUALLY, WE DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE THE ROOM UNTIL ABOUT NOON.

WHICH IS WHEN I GOT THE CALL ABOUT ELLIOT.

OH, OH, SWEETHEART, THAT REMINDS ME.

I FOUND THIS UNDER YOUR PILLOW.

OH, MY EARRING.

I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT.

EXCUSE ME. UH, YOU SAID --

YOU -- YOU SAID YOU SAW THE SUN RISE,

BUT THESE WINDOWS ONLY FACE

WEST AND SOUTH, SO...

I THINK WHAT AMBER MEANT TO SAY

WAS THAT WE SAW THE DAWN BREAKING TOGETHER.

UH, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE THE SUN LITERALLY RISE UP.

OH. WHAT I -- WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THE EARRINGS --

YOU KNOW, MR. MONK,

I WOULD LOVE TO ANSWER ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS,

BUT RIGHT NOW, I AM LATE FOR A TEE TIME.

I HAVE A PRIVATE GOLF COURSE OUT BACK.

SOME FRIENDS ARE COMING BY.

MR. MONK, DO YOU PLAY GOLF?

NO, I DON'T PLAY.

I PLAY GOLF.

LIEUTENANT DISHER DOES NOT PLAY GOLF.

LIEUTENANT DISHER IS STILL ON DUTY.

YOU PLAY GOLF, DON'T YOU?

ME?

YES. YOU'RE GOOD.

DON'T BE MODEST.

SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S A -- SHE'S A DUFFER.

YOU DUFF.

SURE.

I PLAY.

PERFECT. GREAT. GREAT.

SHE'S OUT OF CONTROL, MAN.

SHARONA, LOOK AT YOU.

SHARONA FLEMING, THIS IS SHAWN CLEMONS.

HE WON THE CALICO BEACH CLASSIC LAST WEEK IN SANTA BARBARA.

HI.

AND THIS IS DANNY BONADUCE.

YEAH, THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE FOR YOU, AM I RIGHT?

UH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH.

YEAH, I LIKE THIS GIRL.

OH, I, UH, I SEE YOU BROUGHT YOUR CADDY.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I TAG ALONG.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR A WALK.

Dexter: OH, YEAH.

OKAY, SO I LIED. YOU CAN PLAY THIS GAME.

VERY NICE. VERY SWEET.

SHARONA! YOU'RE UP NEXT.

OKAY.

SHE MAKES A NICE EXIT.

GIVE ME THE 3.

I THINK WE START WITH 1.

NO, NO, NO, IT'S TOO MUCH CLUB. I NEED A 3-WOOD.

GIVE ME THE 3.

LET'S START WITH THE 1.

AND THEN THE 2 AND THEN THE 3.

IT'S BETTER, GO IN ORDER.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

GIVE ME THE 3.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T.

OKAY. GIVE ME THE 1.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

GIVE ME THE 2.

COMING UP.

HA HA HA HA!

THIS IS THE FIRST CLUB NOW.

OKAY?

WAS THAT SO HARD?

YEAH.

YOU CALLED HIM SUNDAY MORNING?

PARDON ME?

YOU CALLED MR. D'SOUZA.

WE CHECKED THE RECORDS.

YES, I HAD A QUESTION ABOUT BUSINESS.

FROM YOUR CELL PHONE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU WERE IN BED ALL MORNING.

WELL, I HAVE MY CELL PHONE WITH ME AT ALL TIMES. IT'S EASIER.

DEX, YOU'RE UP.

MR. MONK, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

I WAS ALSO WONDERING ABOUT THAT EARRING.

WHAT EARRING?

THE EARRING YOU FOUND IN YOUR BED.

YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT AMBER LOST?

IT WASN'T AMBER'S EARRING.

THE EARRING YOU FOUND IS FOR PIERCED EARS.

HER EARS AREN'T PIERCED. WHY WOULD SHE LIE ABOUT THAT?

AN HONEST MISTAKE, MR. MONK? IT HAPPENS.

EXCUSE ME?

THAT'S GAME.

I'M GLAD YOU WERE HERE TO SEE THAT.

I DON'T LOSE.

CALL ME IF YOU THINK OF ANY SNAPPY COMEBACKS.

I'LL BE INSIDE.

HEY, UH, YOU KNOW, DON'T MIND DEX.

I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR YEARS.

HE'S GOT A BIT OF A TEMPER, BUT HE'S A GOOD GUY.

A GOOD FRIEND. LIKE LAST SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE PARTY,

HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET ME DRIVE HOME. WERE YOU DRUNK?

NO, THAT'S THE THING. I ONLY HAD A COUPLE OF BEERS, BUT DEX INSISTED I STAY OVER.

HOW COULD I ARGUE? HE EVEN TOOK MY CAR KEYS.

SON OF A BITCH.

I TOLD YOU TO PUT A NEW BATTERY IN THIS THING.

I DID. I PUT A NEW ONE IN LAST WEEK.

WELL, DID YOU CHECK IT? OF COURSE I CHECKED IT.

WELL, IT'S DEAD NOW. GIVE ME A HAND HERE, WILL YA?

OH, HEY, CAN I HELP YOU?

MR. BONADUCE LEFT SOMETHING IN HIS CAR.

IT'S THE SILVER CONVERTIBLE OVER THERE.

RIGHT.

IT'S UNLOCKED.

HA HA HA.

DETECTIVE...CADDY... CAR THIEF.

YOU WEAR MANY HATS, MR. MONK.

YOU, UH, YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

DID YOU DRIVE THIS CAR, MR. LARSEN,

MAYBE SUNDAY MORNING? WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?

SOMEBODY WAS SMOKING A CIGAR IN HERE.

WELL, A LOT OF PEOPLE SMOKE CIGARS, MR. MONK.

RIGHT, BUT THE TEXTURE AND SIZE OF THIS CIGAR ASH

ARE CONSISTENT WITH THOSE

FROM YOUR PRECIOUS CUBANO DE OROS.

HMM.

HOW DID YOU DO IT?

YOU MEAN, HOW DID I, UH,

RISE FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS TO ACHIEVE ALL OF THIS?

NO. NO, I MEAN,

HOW DID YOU MURDER ELLIOT D'SOUZA?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THERE WAS NO MURDER. ELLIOT WAS ALONE.

THE DOOR WAS LOCKED.

RIGHT.

HOW...DID YOU DO IT?

YOU'VE TAKEN A GREAT INTEREST IN ME.

AND THE TRUTH IS, I'VE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN YOU, TOO.

AND YOUR FRIEND SHARONA.

MAY I SHOW YOU SOMETHING?

MY RESEARCH STAFF IS FIRST-RATE.

SHE MUST'VE BEEN 19, MAYBE 20.

YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S -- THAT'S MY FAVORITE AGE.

HUNGRY, WITH NO INHIBITIONS.

THESE WERE TAKEN IN ATLANTIC CITY.

UH, SHE WAS USING A DIFFERENT NAME,

BUT MY LAWYERS ASSURE ME THAT THE RELEASE THAT SHE SIGNED

IS SOLID. I CAN PUBLISH THEM ANY TIME I WANT.

WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU?

WELL, I TOLD YOU ON THE GOLF COURSE, MR. MONK,

I DO NOT LOSE.

NOW, SHARONA -- SHE HAS A SON. HOW OLD IS HE NOW?

HE'S 12.

12.

THAT'S AN IMPRESSIONABLE AGE.

I THINK WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER, DON'T WE?

ANY MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ELLIOT?

NO.

YOU CAN LET YOURSELF OUT.

I TOLD YOU,

DEXTER AND I WERE IN BED ALL NIGHT AND ALL MORNING.

HE NEVER LEFT THE ROOM.

OKAY, WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOUR EARRING.

WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT THAT?

I THOUGHT IT WAS MINE. I MADE A MISTAKE.

AMBER, WHY ARE YOU PROTECTING HIM?

I WOULDN'T DO THAT. I DON'T LIE.

HA HA. YOU DON'T LIE, HUH? WELL, IN YOUR PICTORIAL,

YOU NEVER MENTIONED HAVING A KID.

AND YOU SAID YOU LIVE ON A FARM.

WELL, THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU, LIEUTENANT,

BUT THOSE PROFILES --

THEY'RE COMPLETELY MADE UP.

YOU OKAY?

OOH, SHE IS LYING.

SHE IS COVERING FOR THAT SON OF A BITCH.

DEXTER LARSEN IS DIRTY. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU DON'T KNOW?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW?

I'M THINKING IT PROBABLY WAS AN ACCIDENT.

D'SOUZA WAS ALONE. LOOK, THE DOOR WAS LOCKED.

WHAT ABOUT THE EARRING?

AND THE THREATS? AND THE PHONE CALL THAT MORNING?

I DON'T THINK HE DID IT. I WAS WRONG. I WAS WRONG.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

NOTHING. THE CASE IS OVER.

AND, UH, I'M GOING TO RETURN MISS LUDEN'S MONEY.

JUST GO HOME.

Sharona: HEY.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I KNOW YOU. YOU WERE LYING BACK THERE.

LISTEN TO ME.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENTAL DEATH.

I WAS WRONG. PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR MINDS.

THAT'S TRUE. PEOPLE DO. BUT YOU DON'T.

WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT GARAGE?

WAS DEXTER THERE?

DID HE THREATEN YOU?

ADRIAN, YOU MIGHT AS WELL TELL ME.

YOU KNOW I'M NEVER GOING TO LET THIS GO UNTIL YOU DO.

HE...

HE HAD SOME PICTURES.

WHAT KIND OF PICTURES?

COMPROMISING PICTURES.

WHAT, HE'S BLACKMAILING YOU? WITH WHAT?

YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING. HE'S GOT PICTURES OF YOU WITH YOUR SHIRT NOT TUCKED IN?

NOT OF ME.

WELL, WHO THEN? WHAT -- ME?

OH, MY GOD. FROM ATLANTIC CITY.

I...

ADRIAN...

BENJY WAS 1, AND I-I WAS JUST SO DESPERATE.

HE'S GOING TO PUBLISH THEM

IF WE DON'T WALK AWAY.

DID YOU SEE THEM?

WHAT?

DID YOU SEE THOSE PHOTOS?

NO.

YES.

OH, MY GOD.

OH...GOD.

Dexter: TALK ABOUT AN EMBARRASSMENT OF RICHES.

ONCE AGAIN, WE HAD 12 STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

TO CHOOSE FROM, BUT ONLY ONE CAN BE

"SAPPHIRE" GIRL OF THE YEAR.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE "SAPPHIRE" GIRL

OF THE YEAR...

AMBER POST!

NOW, AMBER, HERE IS YOUR SAPPHIRE NECKLACE.

THANK YOU.

AND...

THE KEYS TO YOUR NEW FERRARI.

[ Whispers ] THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

DO WE HAVE A PLAN?

YEAH, THE PLAN IS WE FIND DEXTER LARSEN

AND KILL HIM.

DO WE HAVE A PLAN "B"?

I TOLD YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME.

THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND DEXTER, YOU KNOW?

JUST DON'T KILL HIM. THAT WOULD BE SO WRONG.

WHAT -- WHAT'S HE DOING?

HE'S DANCING.

I DON'T THINK SO.

EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE DEXTER IS?

IS HE POINTING?

HE'S DANCING.

I THINK HE'S POINTING.

ARE YOU -- SIR, ARE YOU POINTING?

UH, NO. HELLO? YES?

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO BE RIGHT BACK.

BE CAREFUL. HE'S DANGEROUS.

YEAH? SO AM I.

HEY. NO HORSEPLAY!

AND NO DIVING. NO DIVING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HAVE YOU SEEN DEXTER?

NO? OKAY.

AMBER?

YOU OKAY?

HI.

HELLO.

YOU WANT TO TAKE ME HOME?

I-I CAN'T. I DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

I MEAN, I HAVE ONE, TECHNICALLY,

BUT I HARDLY EVER USE IT.

I HAVE TROUBLE WITH THE LEFT TURNS.

AND THE RIGHT...TURNS.

TURNING.

AND YIELDING. TURNING AND YIELDING.

Sharona: OH, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

HOW OLD IS SHE? SHE'S 4.

BEAUTIFUL.

YOU KNOW, IT'S, LIKE...

I JUST WANT HER TO BE PROUD OF ME, YOU KNOW?

SHE WILL BE.

I GOTTA GO.

HEY, HEY, AMBER, AMBER.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A KID, TOO.

AND...

BELIEVE ME, I'VE DONE SOME THINGS IN MY LIFE

THAT I PRAY TO GOD MY SON DOESN'T FIND OUT ABOUT,

YOU KNOW?

BUT WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.

QUESTION IS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

RIGHT?

YOU SOUND GOOD.

YOU ARE VERY KIND.

I PRACTICE EVERY DAY, AND I NEVER GET ANY BETTER.

YOU HAVING FUN?

NO.

BUT YOU CAN'T GO BY ME.

OH, WELL, I'M NOELLE.

NOW YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

I'M ADRIAN. MONK.

YOU CAN CALL ME ADRIAN...

MONK.

ARE YOU A FRIEND OF DEXTER'S?

I AM A GHOST OF "SAPPHIRE" GIRLS PAST.

WHAT YEAR?

1985.

IF YOU HAVE ANY BACK ISSUES IN YOUR GARAGE, YOU CAN LOOK ME UP.

NO. I DON'T HAVE A GARAGE.

IT SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME AGO.

NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.

DEXTER HAS BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME.

HE BOUGHT ME AN APARTMENT,

SENT ME TO EUROPE ON A PROMOTIONAL TOUR...

SO, UM, IS YOUR WIFE HERE?

I'M NOT MARRIED.

YOU'RE WEARING A RING.

SHE PASSED AWAY.

I CAN'T TAKE IT OFF YET.

I'M SORRY.

WHEN DID SHE DIE?

SIX YEARS AGO.

SHARONA FLEMING. WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE. COME IN.

DON'T BE SHY.

THAT WAS A JOKE. WE BOTH KNOW, UH,

YOU'RE NOT SHY AT ALL.

DEXTER, I JUST WANT THE PICTURES AND THE NEGATIVES.

YEAH, WELL, I WANT TO INVENT

THE WORLD'S FIRST FULLY INTEGRATED SEMICONDUCTOR,

BUT WE DON'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT.

YOU LIKE IT? THIS IS MY FIRST WORKBENCH.

I HAD TO MOVE IT HERE FROM CINCINNATI.

AND THAT'S HOW I STARTED OUT.

I WAS EXPERIMENTING, TINKERING.

I WAS A NERD, PUBLISHING MY LITTLE ELECTRONICS MAGAZINE.

I WAS THE KIND OF GUY THAT

A WOMAN LIKE YOU NEVER TALKED TO.

YOU STILL ARE.

IF YOU'RE HERE TO BEG,

YOU'RE NOT OFF TO A VERY PROMISING START.

AND IF YOU'RE HERE TO THREATEN ME,

YOU CAN SAVE YOUR BREATH, BECAUSE THAT RELEASE YOU SIGNED IS AIRTIGHT.

I HAVE A KID.

THEN KEEP YOUR FRIEND MR. MONK OUT OF MY FACE.

OKAY, YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU TWISTED PORN-PEDDLING FREAK.

IF YOU PRINT THOSE PICTURES, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT MY SON.

YOU HURT MY SON, I AM COMING AFTER YOU.

AND I AM GOING TO DEDICATE MY LIFE TO RUINING YOURS.

YEAH? WELL, TAKE A NUMBER.

Monk: "HOLD ME, ADRIAN, MY DARLING HUSBAND.

"TRUE LOVE'S TOUCH, SO RARE A GIFT.

"HOW MUCH MORE PRECIOUS IS YOUR CARESS,

"WHO LOVES SO DEEPLY,

"YET FEARS THE WARMTH OF HAND ON HAND.

"STILL, YOUR LOVE IS GIVEN FREE...

"ONLY TO ME...

ONLY TO ME."

THAT WAS --

THAT WAS THE LAST POEM SHE EVER WROTE.

[ SCATTERED SOBS ]

ANYBODY WANT TO SWIM?

I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.

ME TOO.

DID YOU FIND HIM?

GET HIM. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

JUST NAIL HIM. WHAT ABOUT THE PICTURES?

FORGET THE PICTURES. JUST DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO

TO NAIL THAT SON OF A BITCH!

[ HUMMING ]

Popeye: MY BABY...

BENJY.

WE HAVE TO TALK.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I KNOW. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T.

I DID.

YOU KNOW HOW SOMETIMES YOU MAKE A MISTAKE

AND YOU MESS UP,

BUT YOU KNOW I STILL LOVE YOU, ANYWAY?

YEAH.

WELL, SOMETIMES MOMMIES MAKE MISTAKES, TOO.

AND WHEN YOU WERE A BABY, I MADE A VERY BIG ONE.

WHAT KIND OF MISTAKE?

I CAN'T TELL YOU. WHAT, DID YOU KILL A GUY?

NO, I DIDN'T KILL ANYBODY.

BUT SOMEBODY TOOK PICTURES OF ME MAKING THIS MISTAKE.

WHAT KIND OF PICTURES?

BENJY, THE REASON WHY I'M TELLING YOU THIS

IS BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING ON A CASE,

AND SOMEBODY IS THREATENING TO PRINT THESE PICTURES

IF WE DON'T LET HIM GO.

IS HE A BAD GUY?

A VERY BAD GUY. NOW, I HAD TO TELL YOU THIS

BECAUSE IF THEY EVER GOT PUBLISHED,

YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT IN SCHOOL.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

HONEY, I WAS REALLY TRYING TO MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR US.

MOM, YOU CAN'T LET SOMEBODY GET AWAY

JUST BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE A BAD DAY AT SCHOOL.

HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?

NOT SINCE LUNCH. YOU KNOW, I'M MISSING MY SHOW.

[ POPEYE LAUGHING ]

ONE HOUR.

[ POPEYE HUMMING ]

HE WAS...ALONE.

THE DOOR WAS LOCKED...

FROM THE INSIDE.

FROM THE INSIDE.

THE PHONE RINGS.

HE'S OVER HERE LIFTING WEIGHTS.

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE.

SOMETHING...

WRONG ABOUT THIS ROOM.

JUST CAN'T SEE IT.

YOU WILL.

[ PIANO PLAYING ]

LISTEN.

LISTEN.

DO YOU HEAR THAT?

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

HELLO.

NOELLE, DO YOU REMEMBER ME?

OH, YEAH, FROM THE PARTY. UH...MR. MONK.

THIS IS MY ASSISTANT SHARONA. DO YOU MIND IF WE COME IN?

UH...SURE.

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE THE MESS.

I'M STILL UNPACKING FROM MY TRIP.

NOELLE, DID YOU KNOW

THAT YOU WERE DIRECTLY BELOW ELLIOT D'SOUZA'S APARTMENT?

NO. I KNEW HE LIVED IN THE BUILDING.

AT THE PARTY, YOU MENTIONED THAT DEXTER LARSEN

FOUND THIS APARTMENT FOR YOU.

OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WHEN WAS THAT?

UH...ABOUT A MONTH AGO.

HMM. AND THEN HE SENT YOU OUT OF TOWN?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT -- TO LONDON AND PARIS ON A PROMOTIONAL TOUR.

SO, WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT, ANYWAY?

DID YOU MAKE THESE? WHAT?

THESE INDENTATIONS IN THE CARPET.

UH...MAYBE. I MIGHT HAVE.

OR MAYBE THEY CAME FROM THAT CHAIR.

NO, NO, THEY'RE NOT FROM THE CHAIR.

NO.

NO.

NO.

Bethany: I'M NOT ALLOWED TO LET ANYBODY ELSE IN HERE! PLEASE!

NO. DEX IS GOING TO BE SO MAD AT ME.

IT'S OKAY.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

DEXTER LARSEN, THAT'S A WARRANT,

DULY SWORN, AUTHORIZING US TO SEARCH YOUR HOUSE.

DEX, I TRIED TO CALL YOU. THEY'VE BEEN HERE AN HOUR.

THEY'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE.

LOOKING FOR WHAT?

LOOKING FOR PROOF

THAT YOU KILLED ELLIOT D'SOUZA.

NOW, MR. MONK, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOU -- MY CARVASIA.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THAT.

SORRY. I'LL GET IT.

NO! NO, DON'T TOUCH IT. I'LL DO IT.

IT'S VERY VALUABLE.

IS THERE A PROBLEM?

WHAT'S WRONG? PICK IT UP.

CAN'T WEIGH MORE THAN 15 POUNDS.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT DID YOU DO? DID YOU GLUE IT DOWN?

EXCUSE ME, IF I MAY.

NO. NOT GLUED.

YOUR TURN.

WE FOUND IT, DEXTER.

FOUND WHAT?

THE MAGNET THAT YOU BUILT.

RANDY, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW UNLESS YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF DOWN THERE.

COME ON, COME ON.

WHAT'S THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?

WHAT, YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THAT?

WE FOUND IT IN YOUR WORKSHOP.

IT HAD FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER IT. GO AHEAD.

I NEVER REALIZED

HOW STRONG AN ELECTROMAGNET LIKE THAT COULD BE.

I'M TOLD THAT ONE CAN LIFT A CAR.

WITH YOUR BACKGROUND IN ELECTRONICS,

BUILDING A DEVICE LIKE THIS WAS CHILD'S PLAY.

YOU NEEDED A CAR BATTERY.

YOU BORROWED ONE FROM YOUR OWN MERCEDES

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE MURDER.

YOU COULDN'T RISK DRIVING ONE OF YOUR OWN CARS,

SO YOU TOOK MR. BONADUCE'S KEYS AND BORROWED HIS.

AND SINCE YOU FOUND NOELLE WINTERS' APARTMENT FOR HER,

YOU HAD COPIES OF ALL HER KEYS.

YOU KNEW THE APARTMENT WAS EMPTY

BECAUSE YOU SENT MISS WINTERS TO EUROPE.

NOW YOU WERE WHERE YOU WANTED TO BE --

DIRECTLY BELOW ELIOT D'SOUZA'S PENTHOUSE,

RIGHT UNDER HIS PRIVATE GYM.

YOU KNEW ELIOT WORKED OUT EVERY MORNING.

YOU COULD HEAR THE WEIGHTS CLANGING THROUGH THE CEILING.

YOU PHONED HIM TO MAKE SURE

HE WAS IN POSITION.

AND THEN YOU KILLED HIM...

WITHOUT EVER SETTING FOOT IN THE ROOM.

THAT'S WHY THE COMPUTER DISK WAS ERASED AND THE CLOCK WAS A LITTLE OFF.

I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT ROOM.

EVERYTHING WAS TURNED AROUND. THE PENS AND THE STAPLER --

THEY WERE ALL FACING THE SAME WAY.

ALL RIGHT, SO? I MADE A MAGNET. SO WHAT?

I MAKE A LOT OF THINGS. IT'S MY HOBBY.

IT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING. I TOLD YOU,

I WAS HERE ALL NIGHT AND ALL MORNING.

NO, YOU WEREN'T.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

HE OFFERED TO MAKE ME "SAPPHIRE" GIRL OF THE YEAR

IF I LIED AND SAID THAT WE WERE TOGETHER THAT MORNING.

SHE'S WILLING TO TESTIFY IN COURT.

YOUR NECKLACE.

YOUR FERRARI.

I DON'T WANT 'EM. I DON'T NEED 'EM.

LOOKS LIKE YOU PICKED THE WRONG TWO WOMEN TO MESS WITH.

DEXTER LARSEN,

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR THE PREMEDITATED MURDER

OF ELLIOT D'SOUZA.

YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME, SIR.

SHARONA. WHAT?

I FOUND THIS IN HIS OFFICE.

THEY'RE YOUR PHOTOS AND ALL THE NEGATIVES.

YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.

DID YOU LOOK AT 'EM?