Original subtitles

[ambulance siren blares]

(Lou) JERRY, I'M A REASONABLE MAN.

YOU'RE A SEMI-REASONABLE MAN.

YOU TALK TO MR. KRAMER, I'LL TALK TO MRS. KRAMER,

MAYBE EVERYBODY CAN MOVE AN INCH OR TWO ON THIS ONE.

HANG ON A SECOND.

WHO'S THE LUCKY GUY? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

YOU OKAY?

YEAH. OKAY.

(Lou) JERRY, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU SAY THAT AGAIN,

AND I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO COURT JUST FOR THE SPORT OF IT.

YEAH.

OH GOD.

TAKE ANY-- TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT.

WAIT--OH!

[Lou gasps]

[Lou chokes]

[glass shatters]

[off-hook tone]

(woman) LOU?

[off-hook tone]

LOU?

[gasps] OH!

[screams]

[upbeat jazzy music]

*

(Monk) SHE'S ALWAYS WITH ME.

EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES.

SHE'S ALWAYS 34 YEARS OLD.

SHE'S ALWAYS WEARING THE SAME DRESS.

AND SHE'S ALWAYS SO--

(Dr. Kroger) ADRIAN?

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE YOU LOST TRUDY.

THAT--THAT'S A LONG TIME.

IT IS? YEAH.

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED DATING AGAIN?

NO.

I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.

AND, WHAT, YOU DON'T FOLLOW THROUGH BECAUSE?

IT'S INCONCEIVABLE.

I CAN'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING--

LIFE, OTHER PEOPLE,

UNTIL I FIND OUT WHO MURDERED HER.

ADRIAN?

ADRIAN?

THIS PEBBLE OR SOMETHING HAS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY ALL DAY.

W-WOULD YOU SAY THAT TRUDY WAS THE PERFECT WOMAN?

YOU KNOW THAT PHRASE, "MY BETTER HALF"?

I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT MUCH UNTIL SHE DIED.

SHE WAS MY BETTER HALF.

I LOVE THAT PHRASE.

MY BETTER HALF.

MY BETTER--AH, YES, THERE IT IS.

THAT'S IT?

I HAVE SENSITIVE FEET.

DO YOU HAVE A COPY OF THE CASE FILE?

NOPE, NOT AN EXTRA ONE.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A COPY.

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?

WE'RE HERE BECAUSE THE VICTIM WAS A FRIEND OF THE MAYOR'S.

YEAH, I KNOW, THEY WERE GOLFING BUDDIES.

(Sharona) WELL I GUESS HIS HONOR WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T

SCREW EVERYTHING UP.

THE SCENE IS COLD.

(Disher) YEAH, THE PARTY'S PRETTY MUCH OVER.

IT ALL WENT DOWN ON MONDAY NIGHT.

48 HOURS.

I REALLY NEED TO BE HERE FROM THE BEGINNING.

ADRIAN, ADRIAN, THAT IS NOT TRUE.

THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A DOZEN COPS THROUGH HERE.

ADRIAN, YOU PROMISED THE MAYOR.

OKAY, LOOK AT--

LOOK AT ME.

AND STAY CALM.

OKAY?

YOU'RE THE BEST.

THERE WAS A STRUGGLE.

THE VICTIM WAS STABBED.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WAS STABBED?

I MEAN, HE COULD HAVE BEEN SHOT.

NO, YOU CAN SMELL GUN POWDER RESIDUE

IN A ROOM THIS SIZE FOR FOUR DAYS.

YOU CAN?

HE CAN.

AND THEN THE VICTIM WAS STRANGLED TOO.

YEAH.

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW WITH WHAT?

UH, PHONE CORD.

YOU CAN SEE, IT'S-- IT'S STRETCHED OUT.

OH YEAH.

WE--WE MUST HAVE MISSED THAT.

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

(Disher) HIS ASSISTANT MUST HAVE WALKED IN ON IT.

SHE WAS STABBED TOO.

D.O.A. AT THE HOSPITAL.

TWO VICTIMS.

I WANNA SEE MORE.

THIS IS ALL MOOT, MONK.

WE ALREADY HAVE A SUSPECT.

WHO'S THAT?

HIS NAME IS LAWRENCE GRAYSON.

PRATT WAS HIS ATTORNEY.

THEY LOST A CASE ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO.

I GUESS, UH, GRAYSON WASN'T A VERY SATISFIED CLIENT.

A YEAR AND A HALF.

THAT'S WHAT I CALL HOLDING A GRUDGE.

HE BURNED SOMETHING?

HE BURNED HIS OWN FILE. THE GUY WAS A MORON.

THERE WERE DUPLICATE COPIES ALL OVER THE OFFICE

THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH.

WHY DIDN'T HE JUST

TAKE THE FILE WITH HIM AND BURN IT LATER?

CAPTAIN FIGURED HE PANICKED.

[sighs] IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

WHAT DOESN'T?

THE WHOLE THING.

I WANT TO TALK TO THIS GRAYSON.

OKAY.

BUT I SHOULD TELL YOU

CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER'S NOT VERY HAPPY YOU'RE ON THE CASE.

DID HE SAY SOMETHING?

HE DIDN'T HAVE TO.

I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH HIM FOR FOUR YEARS NOW.

I KNOW HIM.

YOU PICK UP LITTLE SIGNS.

[dog barking]

(Stottlemeyer) WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

STUBEN.

EVERYTHING WITH THE LAWYER'S NAME ON IT,

YOU BAG IT.

YOU DON'T WALK AROUND WITH IT, YOU BAG IT.

UNDERSTOOD? YES, SIR.

OKAY.

[dog barking]

HOW AM I DOING, MONK?

FINE.

OH, IF YOU TALK TO THE MAYOR, TELL HIM THANKS VERY MUCH

FOR THIS VOTE OF CONFIDENCE.

(Grayson) YOU CAN'T JUST BARGE IN HERE AND RIP MY HOUSE APART.

YOU'RE TAKING AN AWFUL LOT OF STUFF OUT OF HERE.

HOW DO I KNOW I'M GONNA GET THIS STUFF BACK?

YOU'LL GET A COMPLETE INVENTORY WHEN WE'RE THROUGH.

OH, YEAH-- OKAY, NO, I'M CALLING MY LAWYER.

YOUR LAWYER'S DEAD, SIR.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

[dog barks]

HEY, HEY, HEY, DO YOU MIND?

POLICE-- HEY, HANG ON.

ANOTHER STEP, AND I'LL ARREST YOU FOR OBSTRUCTION.

WELL, THAT'S A VERY IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION, MR. GRAYSON.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YEAH, I'M A COLLECTOR, AND EVERYTHING IN THERE'S

LEGIT, OKAY?

I GOT PAPER ON EVERYTHING IN THERE--IT'S A HOBBY.

I'M PERMITTED TO HAVE A HOBBY, AM I NOT?

EXCUSE ME, SIR, IS THAT YOUR TRUCK PARKED OUT FRONT?

YEAH, THAT'S MY TRUCK.

YOU OWN YOUR OWN SECURITY COMPANY?

YES, I DO.

NOW WHY WOULD I KILL LOU PRATT?

OKAY, HE'S BEEN MY LAWYER FOR 22 YEARS.

THERE ARE 4,000 FILES IN THAT OFFICE.

THE KILLER WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BURN JUST ONE OF THEM.

YOURS. MINE?

OKAY, SO HE BURNS MY FILE, SO WHAT?

YOU OWED HIM SOME MONEY.

YEAH, 400 BUCKS.

I'M SUING THE BITCH NEXT DOOR.

HE SCREWS UP THE CASE.

I REFUSE TO PAY HIM.

I'M GONNA KILL HIM FOR 400 BUCKS, I DON'T THINK SO.

[dog barks]

LISTEN, CAN I HAVE PERMISSION TO WALK MY DOG?

YOUR GUYS ARE MAKING HIM GOOFY.

PERMISSION GRANTED. THANK YOU.

(Stottlemeyer) KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.

HERE, BOBO.

COME HERE.

WHAT?

THAT GUY... OWNS A SECURITY COMPANY.

COULD HAVE PICKED ANY LOCK IN THAT OFFICE.

BUT HE BROKE A WINDOW.

YEAH, THIS GUY IS NOT STUPID.

HE KNOWS WE KNOW HE CAN PICK A LOCK.

TRIED TO THROW US A CURVEBALL.

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO MAKE SENSE, MONK?

WELL, YEAH, IT KINDA DOES.

[dog barks]

SEE THAT.

THEY'RE IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

THEY'RE RIPPING THE WHOLE PLACE APART.

IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

YOU MADE IT YOUR PROBLEM WHEN YOU BUILT

THAT THING, SWEETHEART.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND MY GARAGE?

IT'S OVER, OKAY, YOU LOST THE CASE.

(Grayson) GARAGE.

THING IS A SHOPPING MALL, IT'S NOT A GARAGE.

OH, COME ON.

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT SETBACK MEANS?

IS THAT THE NEIGHBOR? YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT RULES AND REGULATIONS ARE?

DO YOU, LADY? MONICA WATERS.

SHE OWNS A TRAVEL AGENCY IN WESTBROOK MALL.

YOU'RE LIKE THIS BROKEN RECORD--

YOU JUST KEEP GOING ON AND ON.

I SEE YOU GOT YOUR OWN ADDRESS ON THERE NOW.

PRETTY SOON, YOU'RE GONNA QUALIFY

FOR ITS OWN ZIP CODE.

WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT REGULATIONS, HUH?

(Grayson) EXCUSE ME?

(Waters) THAT DOG OF YOURS

IS A PUBLIC MENACE.

IT'S NEVER ON A LEASH,

AND EVERY SINGLE KID IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

IS FRIGHTENED TO DEATH OF IT.

IT'S ON A LEASH.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT.

AND THIS IS A CHAMPION SHOW DOG, RIGHT HERE,

AND IT'S BRED FOR TEMPERAMENT.

OH, RIGHT, RIGHT, WELL, I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THAT

WHEN I HAVE TO UNFASTEN HIS JAW FROM MY LEG.

(Monk) EXCUSE ME, THIS DOG IS NO SHOW DOG.

WHAT--WHAT DID HE SAY?

SHOW DOGS HAVE TO BE PUREBRED.

THIS IS NOT A PURE ROTTWEILER.

YOU CAN TELL BY THE PAWS,

THEY'RE--THEY'RE TOO BIG.

THE PAWS ARE TOO BIG?

THEY'RE TOO BIG.

MY HERO.

OKAY, MR. GRAYSON,

WHY DON'T WE TAKE THAT LITTLE WALK NOW?

I'D LOVE IT IF YOU COME BACK AND VISIT ME SOMETIME

WITHOUT THAT BADGE.

BRING YOUR LITTLE BUDDY THERE WITH YOU.

[grumbling] NOT A PUREBRED.

LET'S GO.

COME ON, BOY, LET'S GET AWAY FROM THEM.

MONK, ARE YOU COMING?

I THINK I'LL CHECK OUT THE GARAGE.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU KNOW WHO SHE LOOKS LIKE IN A WEIRD WAY?

TRUDY.

YOU THINK?

MM-HMM.

(Waters) WHAT'S HE DOING?

(Sharona) IT'S HIS THING.

WHEN WAS IT BUILT?

OH, TWO YEARS AGO.

THAT'S ABOUT TIME

YOUR HUSBAND MOVED OUT?

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

PACHYSANDRA UNDER THE BASKETBALL NET.

ABOUT TWO YEARS' WORTH.

WOW.

THAT'S TWICE YOU'VE IMPRESSED ME--NEW WORLD RECORD.

I'M MONICA.

MONICA WATERS, AND YOU ARE?

UM, ME--

UM--

MONK. MONK.

ADRIAN MONK.

HI.

OH, IT'S, UH--

IT'S-- I AM--

COULD I TAKE A LOOK INSIDE THE GARAGE?

YEAH, SURE.

YOU'LL NEED THIS.

THANKS.

HE'S A DETECTIVE?

UH, PRIVATE CONSULTANT.

IS HE MARRIED? NO.

WELL, HE'S WEARING A WEDDING BAND.

HE THINKS ABOUT HIS WIFE A LOT, YOU KNOW.

SHE--SHE'S DECEASED. OH.

HE'S GERMAPHOBIC?

YUP.

WITH CLASSIC OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE TENDENCIES.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

(Monk) OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT'S WRONG?

(Monk) IT'S PERFECT, IT'S IMMACULATE.

YOU SEE, IT'S DIVIDED

INTO DIFFERENT SECTIONS.

GARDENING, AUTOMOTIVE,

AND YOU MADE LITTLE LABELS.

SO YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING GOES.

MY HUSBAND WAS VERY ORGANIZED.

I GUESS IT KIND OF RUBBED OFF.

HOLD IT.

HOLD IT.

MAY I?

THAT'S GOT IT.

MAY I SAY SOMETHING?

IF I EVER HAVE A GARAGE,

I WANT IT TO LOOK JUST LIKE THIS.

WELL, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

UH, NO, NO, NOT REALLY.

OKAY, WELL...

IT WAS VERY NICE MEETING YOU, MR. MONK.

UH-UH, HOWEVER...

IN THE FUTURE,

I MIGHT HAVE QUITE A FEW QUESTIONS.

OKAY, SO HOW DOES THAT WORK?

SHOULD I COME TO YOUR PRECINCT?

WELL, NO, I DON'T REALLY HAVE AN OFFICE THERE.

WE COULD HAVE COFFEE.

OR...

OR...

DO YOU EAT DINNER?

YES, I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO EAT DINNER.

DO I EAT DINNER?

YEAH, YOU EAT DINNER.

WE BOTH EAT DINNER.

THEN IT'S A DATE.

IT'S A DATE?

[subdued chatter]

BOY, THIS PLACE HAS REALLY CHANGED.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE?

WE USED TO COME HERE ALL THE TIME.

YOU AND YOUR WIFE?

YEAH, IT'S SO DIFFERENT.

THAT BLACKBOARD WAS OVER THERE.

AND I THINK THE SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS ARE NEW.

IS THAT IT?

YEAH, THAT-- THAT'S IT.

YOU DON'T LIKE CHANGE, DO YOU?

I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH CHANGE.

I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS.

OH.

HI, I'M VICKY.

HI, VICKY, I'M ADRIAN MONK,

AND THIS IS MONICA WATERS.

HI.

I'LL HAVE THE CAESAR SALAD AND SOME COFFEE, PLEASE.

GREAT.

AND I'LL HAVE THE VEAL. OKAY.

AND, UM-- OH, NEVER MIND.

OKAY. UH-UH--

JUST WAIT.

I WONDER, COULD I GET SEPARATE PLATES

FOR THE POTATOES AND THE VEGETABLES?

YOU WANT THEM ALL ON SEPARATE PLATES?

PLEASE.

OKAY.

YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR FOOD TO TOUCH.

I BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THEIR FOOD TO TOUCH.

THEY JUST DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO ADMIT IT.

[laughs]

AND I BET YOU BRING YOUR OWN SILVERWARE.

[laughs]

PLEASE, I'M NOT A FANATIC.

SO YOU SAID YOU HAD QUITE A FEW QUESTIONS.

THAT MAY HAVE BEEN AN EXAGGERATION.

HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?

NONE.

I HAVE NONE.

DON'T YOU WANT TO ASK ME ABOUT GRAYSON, THE NEIGHBOR FROM HELL?

NO. I DON'T THINK HE DID IT.

I DON'T-- I DON'T BUY THE MOTIVE.

THEN WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, MR. MONK?

I'M NOT SURE.

OKAY, THEN I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.

SHARONA SAID

AFTER YOUR WIFE DIED, YOU NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

I WENT OUTSIDE TO GET THE PAPER.

TWICE.

AND NOW YOU'RE A FAMOUS DETECTIVE.

OH.

FAR FROM FAMOUS.

THE OTHER COPS CERTAINLY RESPECT YOU.

THE MAYOR CALLS YOU AND DEPENDS ON YOU.

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY OUT OF THE HOUSE.

HOW DID YOU DO IT?

CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER WAS WORRIED ABOUT ME,

AND HE HIRED A NURSE.

TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

SHE SHOWED UP ONE DAY AND JUST NEVER LEFT.

YOU GOT LUCKY YOU FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON.

THAT'S THE SECRET, ISN'T IT?

HOW LONG WERE YOU MARRIED?

OH, LOOK, A JUKEBOX.

D-7.

* ARE THE STARS

* OUT TONIGHT

* I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S CLOUDY OR BRIGHT *

* I ONLY HAVE EYES

* FOR YOU *

[church bells ring]

[woman crying softly]

[soft classical music]

*

SO HOW DID IT GO LAST NIGHT?

FINE.

WHAT'D YOU TALK ABOUT?

MOSTLY WE TALKED ABOUT ME.

SHE KEPT ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

REALLY?

YEAH.

I THINK MAYBE SHE'S INTERESTED IN ME.

OKAY.

IS THAT IMPOSSIBLE?

THAT A WOMAN LIKE HER COULD BE INTERESTED IN ME?

SHARONA?

I'M THINKING.

TALK ABOUT NERVE.

KILLS THE GUY, THEN SHOWS UP AT THE FUNERAL.

I DON'T THINK HE KILLED ANYBODY.

DID YOU GET A LOOK AT THAT RING HE WEARS?

GUY WAS A GREEN BERET.

SO?

YOU SAW THE CRIME SCENE WAS A MESS.

THAT WAS A REAL STRUGGLE IN THERE.

MUST HAVE GONE ON FOR THREE MINUTES.

HOW COULD A 65-YEAR-OLD MAN FIGHT OFF A FORMER GREEN BERET?

HE DIDN'T WANT TO DIE.

(man) GOOD AFTERNOON.

THANKS FOR COMING.

WE GATHERED TODAY ON THIS SAD DAY

TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO OUR DEAR DEPARTED FRIEND,

LOU PRATT.

[old man coughs]

THAT A MAN WHO COMMITTED HIS LIFE TO THE PRINCIPLES

OF REASON HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM US

IN SUCH AN UNFAIR MANNER

IS IRONY,

[wheezes]

IN ITS MOST BITTER FORM.

(man) ANYONE WHO KNEW

THIS TOUGH, HARD-NOSED ATTORNEY

KNEW LOU PRATT'S MOST WELL-GUARDED SECRET.

THE MAN WAS A TEDDY BEAR.

IT IS WHY

MANY OF YOU HAVE COME HERE TODAY--

[coughing continues]

TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO A MAN

WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

[loud coughing]

AS AN ATTORNEY, LOU PRATT WAS

A MAN WHO ALWAYS LET YOU KNOW WHERE YOU STOOD.

EXCUSE ME.

CAN I HELP YOU?

THANKS, WE'RE FINE.

MOST OF US PREFERRED TO STAND WITH HIM,

INSTEAD OF AGAINST HIM.

[hacking cough]

SIR, PLEASE, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

(man) ABOUT LOU WAS HIS BELIEF IN THE CONCEPT OF COMPROMISE.

(nurse) THANK GOD.

(Monk) HONESTLY, COULD YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?

HE'S HACKING UP A LUNG.

A GUY'S GOT HIS LIMITS, RIGHT.

THAT WAS MINE.

JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

DO YOU SEE HOW ASSERTIVE YOU WERE?

ACTUALLY DOES FEEL PRETTY GOOD.

(woman) OH NO!

(man) COME ON.

TWO, OKAY.

HEY, YOU.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

I AM, 24/7.

YOU KNOW WHAT TOMORROW IS?

THURSDAY.

TOMORROW IS MY UNCLE'S BIRTHDAY.

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN 90 YEARS OLD.

(Sharona) HEY, HE DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM.

HE WAS COUGHING ON MY NECK.

HE WAS MY HERO.

I COULD FEEL THE SPRAY ON THE BACK OF MY NECK.

MONK.

WHERE'S GRAYSON?

HE'S STILL INSIDE.

MONK DOESN'T THINK HE DID IT.

OH, REALLY?

WELL, THIS SHOULD INTEREST YOU.

GRAYSON BOUGHT A BUNCH OF KNIVES ONLINE A YEAR AGO

THAT MATCH THE MURDER WEAPON.

A MILLION PEOPLE BUY KNIVES ONLINE.

AND WE KNOW GRAYSON COLLECTS WEAPONS.

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

SOMETHING'S WRONG, CAPTAIN.

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, CAPTAIN.

HUH?

YOU GOT NOTHING, MONK.

GRAYSON IS THE GUY.

IF I HAD A FARM, I'D BET IT.

[Sharona groans] LET'S GO HOME. I NEED A SHOWER.

WHO NEEDS THIS?

OKAY, SHERMAN, LET'S GO, COME ON.

[snaps his fingers]

SHERMAN?

COME ON, BOY, COME ON.

LET'S GO.

COME ON.

[dog barks]

AH, NO.

SHERMAN.

COME ON, WHERE ARE YOU?

[dog barking]

HERE, BOY.

SHERMAN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HER GARAGE?

[dog growls]

WHAT'S WRONG, BOY?

WHAT'S WRONG?

[dog whines]

SHERMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?

[barks]

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

[barks]

(Trudy) ADRIAN.

ADRIAN.

HEY.

HEY YOURSELF.

HOW DID YOU SLEEP?

MM.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK SHE LOOKS ANYTHING LIKE ME.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING.

ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO HER?

OF COURSE NOT.

IT'S OKAY IF YOU ARE.

YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN.

I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO HER.

ADRIAN MONK,

YOU'RE THE WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE

AND THE WORLD'S WORST LIAR.

HELLO?

ARE YOU THERE?

ADRIAN, IF YOU'RE THERE,

(Waters on answering machine) PICK UP THE PHONE.

MONK, HELLO?

WHERE ARE YOU?

IF YOU'RE THERE, PLEASE PICK UP.

HELLO?

(Waters) OH, THANK GOD.

MONICA?

(Waters) GRAYSON IS DEAD.

HE WAS IN MY GARAGE.

I-I FOUND HIM.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHO ELSE TO CALL.

IT'S OKAY-- IT'S OKAY.

THEY'VE BEEN QUESTIONING ME FOR THE LAST HOUR AND A HALF.

ADRIAN, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WHO'S DOING THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

(Waters) THEY THINK I'M INVOLVED.

DO YOU NEED A LAWYER?

I HAVE A LAWYER.

WHAT I NEED IS A FRIEND.

HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?

SHE MUST HAVE CALLED HIM

FROM THE STATION.

[sighs] HE'S LIKE A BAD COLD.

MA'AM, COULD YOU EXCUSE US, PLEASE?

IT'S OKAY.

CAPTAIN.

HOW'S YOUR FRIEND?

SHE'S A LITTLE UPSET.

YEAH, I'LL BET SHE IS.

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR GRAYSON.

HE'S NO LONGER A SUSPECT.

BUT I THINK WE'RE IN THE RIGHT NEIGHBORHOOD.

UH-HUH.

SOMEBODY USED HIS DOG TO LURE HIM IN HERE.

THE MURDER WEAPON.

HE WAS STRUCK FROM BEHIND.

ANY PRINTS?

(Disher) NO, NEGATIVE ON THE SHOVEL.

NEGATIVE ON THE DOG COLLAR TOO.

PROBABLY WEARING GLOVES.

PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THAT.

(Stottlemeyer) ANY IDEAS, MONK?

'CAUSE I HAVE A FEW.

MOST OF 'EM INVOLVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

SHE'S--SHE'S NOT.

SHE HAS MEANS, MOTIVE-- THEY'VE BEEN FEUDING FOR YEARS.

AND THREATENING EACH OTHER.

NOW HE TURNS UP DEAD IN HER GARAGE.

HE'S DEAD, THE LAWYER'S DEAD.

LAWYER'S SECRETARY'S DEAD.

A WHOLE LOT OF DEAD PEOPLE.

THAT LIGHT WITH THE MOTION DETECTORS--

ALL SMASHED.

YEAH.

PROBABLY WITH THE SHOVEL.

OUR KILLER PREFERRED TO WORK IN THE DARK.

WHY DIDN'T HE JUST TURN IT OFF?

NOW THE KILLER

COULDN'T FIND THE SWITCH.

WHY? BECAUSE HE'D NEVER BEEN IN THE GARAGE BEFORE.

OR SHE WAS HIDING NEAR THE LIGHT.

IT CAME ON, SHE FREAKED OUT,

AND SHE SMASHED IT WITH THE SHOVEL.

THAT'S POSSIBLE, MONK.

ISN'T THAT POSSIBLE?

IT'S POSSIBLE. YES.

HERE'S THE SITUATION.

YOUR FRIEND, MONICA WATERS, IS A SUSPECT

IN THREE HOMICIDES.

OH, NO, NO, NO.

YES, YES. NO, NO.

MONK, YOU'RE NOT SEEING THIS CLEARLY.

YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO HER.

YOU'VE GOT--YOU'VE GOT A BIG BLIND SPOT.

I JUST DON'T-- ADRIAN.

LISTEN TO ME.

SHE IS NOT TRUDY.

MS. WATERS,

YOUR GARAGE IS AN ACTIVE CRIME SCENE.

IT'S OFF LIMITS, UNDERSTOOD?

YEAH.

YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON LEAVING TOWN, ARE YOU?

NO.

GOOD.

(Waters) ADRIAN?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

AM I--AM I A SUSPECT?

THEY JUST--THEY'RE JUST DOING THEIR JOB.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.

I MEAN, WHAT, WHAT IF THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE?

WHAT IF I'M NEXT?

WELL, I CAN'T STAY HERE ALONE.

WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I COULD STAY HERE.

TONIGHT.

YOU'D DO THAT?

CAN I HAVE A SLEEPOVER?

FIRST AID KIT AND TOOTHBRUSH.

BACKUP TOOTHBRUSHES.

BACKUP BRISTLES FOR THE BACKUP TOOTHBRUSHES.

I AM NOT COMING TO GET YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

YOU WON'T HAVE TO GET ME.

I'M NOT A CHILD, SHARONA.

CAN'T FIND MY PJ'S.

GENTLY.

ADRIAN.

I DON'T HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT HER.

UNDERWEAR.

FOUR PAIRS SHOULD BE ENOUGH.

I THINK SHE'S DANGEROUS.

I THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS.

I AM NOT JEALOUS.

I AM SCARED.

THREE PEOPLE ARE DEAD.

THE ONLY DANGER I'M IN TONIGHT

IS RUNNING OUT OF TALCUM POWDER.

OH, TALCUM POWDER.

HELLO.

HI.

I'M RIGHT DOWN THE HALL,

AND THIS IS YOU.

RIGHT DOWN THE HALL.

WOW.

WOW, THIS IS A GREAT ROOM.

OH, THIS IS DEREK'S.

THIS WAS DEREK'S STUDY.

MOIST TOWELETTES-- YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

SO YOU'RE ALL RIGHT THEN?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I MAY NEVER LEAVE.

I MEAN...

YOU KNOW...

UM.

UH, THE COUCH FOLDS OUT AND THERE ARE CLEAN SHEETS.

OH, I BROUGHT MY OWN.

ADRIAN, I HAVE SHEETS.

WELL, AS LONG AS I BROUGHT MY OWN,

I MIGHT AS WELL-- MIGHT AS WELL USE THEM.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

UH, THE ONLY THING I NEED IS A PILLOWCASE.

PILLOWCASES.

THAT'S A LOT OF PILLOWCASES.

YEAH, DEREK NEVER USED THE SAME ONE TWICE.

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD.

LIVING WITH SOMEBODY LIKE THAT.

YES.

AND NO.

I'LL PUT THEM HERE FOR YOU.

WELL, DINNER'S ABOUT READY.

I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY. OH, YEAH.

I'LL JUST, UH-- I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

I JUST WANT TO GO AND FRESHEN UP.

OKAY.

CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN, LOOK AT THIS.

GIVE ME A QUARTER.

DEREK WATERS, MONICA'S EX-HUSBAND.

GIVE ME A QUARTER.

HIS CREDIT CARDS WERE NEVER CANCELED.

THE LAST THING HE BOUGHT WAS ON MARCH 11TH.

AND THEN HE JUST DISAPPEARED.

MARCH 11TH.

WHEN DID SHE START BUILDING THAT GARAGE?

MARCH 14TH, SAME YEAR.

SON OF A BITCH, HE'S UNDER THE GARAGE.

SHOULD WE CALL MONK?

NO, LET HIM READ ABOUT IT IN THE PAPER.

MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL HIM. WHY?

I JUST TALKED TO SHARONA. HE'S THERE.

HE'S WHERE?

MONICA?

MONICA?

THERE YOU ARE.

OH, SHOULD WE EAT?

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE. LET'S EAT.

ADRIAN, YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM FOR LIKE TWO HOURS.

I DON'T THINK SO.

IT'S 9:30.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR

LIKE FIVE TIMES.

YOU DID?

YOU KEPT SAYING JUST A MINUTE.

I DID?

THEN YOU RECITED THE LYRICS

TO DUKE OF EARL.

REALLY?

I GUESS I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

AND THEN FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES, YOU WERE GARGLING OR SOMETHING.

SORRY.

WHY DON'T I POUR YOU A GLASS OF WINE?

IT'S CERTAINLY HAD A CHANCE

TO BREATHE.

[phone rings]

HELLO?

MONK, IT'S ME. GET OUT OF THERE.

WHAT?

(Stottlemeyer on phone) LISTEN TO ME, SHE'S A KILLER.

YOU'RE IN DANGER-- GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

(Stottlemeyer on phone) SHE IS A KILLER, MONK.

GET OUT OF THERE. WHO IS IT?

SHARONA.

SHE'S STANDING RIGHT THERE?

[Monk on phone laughs nervously]

THAT'S RIGHT.

(Stottlemeyer) LISTEN TO ME.

HER HUSBAND DISAPPEARED TWO YEARS AGO.

TWO DAYS LATER, SHE STARTED BUILDING THE GARAGE.

(Stottlemeyer) MONK, SHE KILLED HIM, SHE BURIED HIM UNDER THE GARAGE.

I'M GETTING A COURT ORDER TONIGHT.

WE'RE GONNA DIG HIM UP IN THE MORNING.

OF COURSE I'LL BE THERE.

I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD.

(Stottlemeyer) JUST GET OUT OF THERE, OKAY?

BYE.

THAT WAS SHARONA.

HER SON GOT THE LEAD IN THE SCHOOL PLAY.

OH, REALLY-- WHAT PLAY?

GANDHI.

GANDHI-- IS THAT A PLAY?

I THINK THEY ADDED A FEW SONGS.

YOU WANNA COME?

OH, I THINK I'LL BE HAVING A HEADACHE THAT NIGHT.

TO NEW FRIENDS.

WELL, I'VE BEEN KEEPING DINNER WARM IN THE KITCHEN.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, YES, PERFECT.

I LOVE THESE DISHES.

THEY WERE MY GRANDMOTHER'S. OH.

WHEN I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD,

SHE TOLD ME I COULD HAVE THEM WHEN SHE DIED.

[laughs]

I SAID I CAN'T WAIT.

[both laugh]

[Waters stops laughing; Adrian continues]

YOU'RE NOT EATING.

I ATE IN THE BATHROOM.

I HAD SOME MINTS.

TRY MY SALAD.

I MADE THE DRESSING MYSELF.

OKAY.

MM.

MM, MM.

DELICIOUS.

YOU DIDN'T TASTE IT.

SURE I DID.

IT'S VERY GOOD.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

OPEN YOUR MOUTH, LET ME SEE.

OKAY.

I PROMISE I WON'T BE UPSET.

JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH.

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

WHAT?

IT'S OKAY IF YOU ARE.

I JUST NEED TO KNOW.

IS THIS POISONED?

DO YOU THINK I COULD HURT YOU?

OH, COME ON, HE'S UNDER THE GARAGE, ISN'T HE?

WHO IS? YOUR EX-HUSBAND.

YOU BURIED HIM UNDER THE GARAGE.

HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?

EVERYBODY'S SAYING IT.

MY HUSBAND...

DEREK... IS A SCHIZOPHRENIC.

HE HAD A COMPLETE BREAKDOWN TWO YEARS AGO.

HE'S IN A PRIVATE INSTITUTION.

WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP IT A SECRET.

HE DIDN'T WANT HIS FAMILY TO KNOW.

OH, MY GOD.

HE'S IN ZURICH, ISN'T HE?

AT THE BREINHOFF CLINIC?

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

IT'S THE BEST HOSPITAL IN THE WORLD

FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS.

I'D BE THERE MYSELF, BUT I DON'T FLY.

OH.

AND YOU HAVE SOAP

FROM DIFFERENT HOTELS IN ZURICH.

I ASSUMED YOU LIKED TO TAKE SKI VACATIONS.

[crash]

(Adrian) WHO IS IT?

WHO'S THERE?

I'VE GOT A GUN.

(Stottlemeyer) NO, YOU DON'T.

MONK.

CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN, LISTEN.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

WHAT IS THAT, PEPPER SPRAY?

LET ME-- LET ME EXPLAIN.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

HOLD HIM, CHARLIE. HOLD HIM.

ALL RIGHT.

MA'AM, WE'RE IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING A WARRANT.

WE'RE GONNA DIG UP THE FLOOR OF YOUR GARAGE IN THE MORNING.

WHY?

I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

CAPTAIN, BEFORE YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD,

DEREK WATERS IS NOT BURIED UNDER THAT GARAGE.

HE'S IN ZURICH.

HE'S IN A PRIVATE CLINIC.

HE'S BEEN THERE FOR TWO YEARS.

IN ZURICH?

YES, I HAVE A NUMBER IF YOU WANT

TO VERIFY IT.

IN ZURICH?

REALLY?

SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US?

WE'RE BACK AT SQUARE ONE.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU

VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO SQUARE ONE.

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

I KNOW YOU TOLD ME, BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN.

OKAY, ONE MORE TIME.

THE BURNT FILE.

WHAT?

GRAYSON'S FILE, THE BURNT FILE-- OH, MM-HMM.

OH, GOD-- HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

IT WAS A DECOY.

A DECOY.

THE REAL ANSWER--

IS IN ONE OF THESE OTHER FILES.

OH, YOU HAVE TO BE JOKING.

IF I WAS JOKING, IT WOULD CERTAINLY BE

A LOT FUNNIER THAN THIS.

[sighs]

OH, ADRIAN, WE CAN'T READ ALL OF THIS.

LOOK AT THIS.

OH.

THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER.

BETTER GET STARTED.

IS IT--UH.

WE HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

WAIT.

WHAT? WAIT A MINUTE.

THOMAS CATERSKILL.

WHO'S THAT?

THAT'S OUR GUY.

TO MY BELOVED GRANDCHILDREN, I LEAVE $2.4 MILLION

TO BE DIVIDED BETWEEN YOU.

AND THE BALANCE OF MY ESTATE,

TOTALING MORE THAN $97 MILLION,

I LEAVE TO MY ALMA MATER, WESTMORE UNIVERSITY.

[gasps]

EXCUSE ME?

(lawyer) MY ALMA MATER, WESTMORE UNIVERSITY.

NO, NO, NO, WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS IS A JOKE, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.

WELL, NOW, SON, I KNOW IT'S A BIT UNORTHODOX.

NO, IT'S WRONG.

THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT WILL.

HE LEFT EVERYTHING TO ME.

(Adrian) HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT, TODD?

I KNOW YOU.

YOU WERE AT THE MEMORIAL SERVICE.

THIS IS YOUR UNCLE'S WILL.

ACTUALLY, IT'S A FORGERY OF YOUR UNCLE'S WILL.

BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU EXPECTED TO HEAR TODAY, ISN'T IT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

IT'S DATED OCTOBER 4TH, KID.

YOU SCREWED UP.

THE NOTARY PUBLIC WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SIGNED THIS

WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN ON OCTOBER 4TH.

(Adrian) WE WERE IN THE FILE ROOM YESTERDAY.

YOU SEE THE LITTLE TABS AT THE TOP.

SOME ARE ON THE LEFT, SOME ON THE RIGHT,

SOME IN THE MIDDLE.

MR. PRATT HAD A SYSTEM.

WHEN HE PUT FILES AWAY, HE ALTERNATED THEM.

LEFT, RIGHT, MIDDLE.

SO THEY'D BE EASIER TO READ,

AND THEY WERE ALL ARRANGED LIKE THAT.

EXCEPT...

FOR THIS ONE.

IT WAS A MIDDLE, AND IT WAS RIGHT BEHIND ANOTHER MIDDLE.

WE ALL ASSUMED THAT THE KILLER BROKE IN HERE

TO BURN A FILE OR TO STEAL A FILE,

BUT WE WERE WRONG.

THE KILLER BROKE IN TO ADD A FILE.

[laughs]

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

YOUR UNCLE WAS DYING.

AND YOU KNEW YOU'D BEEN CUT OUT OF THE WILL.

SO YOU WROTE UP A PHONY WILL

WHERE YOU INHERITED EVERYTHING.

AND OF COURSE YOU HAD TO KILL LOU PRATT.

HE WAS YOUR UNCLE'S ATTORNEY,

AND HE WOULD HAVE SPOTTED THE FORGERY.

AND AFTER YOU KILLED HIM AND HIS ASSISTANT,

YOU PUT THE PHONY WILL IN THE FILE.

BUT YOU COULDN'T JUST STOP THERE.

THE COPS WOULD HAVE WONDERED WHY WAS LOU PRATT MURDERED.

AND THEY WOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH EVERY ONE OF THIS FILES

AND EVENTUALLY, THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND YOUR PHONY WILL.

SO YOU HAD TO SEND THEM DOWN THE WRONG ROAD,

AND ANY WRONG ROAD WOULD DO.

YOU PICKED A FILE AT RANDOM, AND YOU BURNED IT.

AND IT WORKED.

EVERYBODY WAS CONCENTRATING ON GRAYSON AND MONICA WATERS

AND THE DISPUTED GARAGE.

BUT WHEN YOU OVERHEARD ME AT THE FUNERAL,

YOU GOT SCARED.

'CAUSE YOU KNEW THAT I WAS HAVING SERIOUS DOUBTS

ABOUT GRAYSON.

SO YOU KILLED HIM TO PUSH US

EVEN FURTHER DOWN THAT WRONG ROAD.

[gasps]

[dog barks]

DOG!

I FAILED TO MENTION WE BROUGHT MR. GRAYSON'S DOG WITH US.

LOOKS LIKE HE REMEMBERS YOU.

[dog barks]

IT'S OKAY.

(Stottlemeyer) HEY, MONK.

I'M SORRY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT.

YES, I DO.

THE COMMISSIONER IS MAKING ME.

(Waters) ADRIAN?

IS IT REALLY OVER?

I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.

MONICA-- LISTEN--

I JUST WANTED-- I, I--

I DON'T, I JUST HAVE TO--

GO AHEAD, YOU-- I'M SORRY, YOU GO.

I JUST WANTED TO SAY...

THAT YOU'RE AN EXTRAORDINARY MAN.

I HAD JUST ABOUT GIVEN UP.

BUT SPENDING TIME WITH YOU REMINDED ME

OF HOW THINGS WERE WITH DEREK AND I,

HOW I WANT US TO BE AGAIN.

I'M FLYING OFF

TO ZURICH THIS WEEK.

BUT I WON'T BE COMING HOME UNTIL HE'S BETTER.

HE'S A LUCKY MAN.

BRACE YOURSELF, MONK.

I'M GONNA KISS YOU GOOD-BYE.