Original subtitles

ASTRONAUT: For those who haven't read the plaque, we'll read the plaque.

Here men from the planet Earth,

first set foot upon the moon,

July 1969.

We came in peace for all mankind.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING FAINTLY)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

(TURNS OFF MUSIC)

(SIGNAL PULSING)

(PHONE RINGING)

If this isn't an insanely beautiful woman, I'm hanging up.

Sir.

(STAMMERS) I think you should listen to this.

(SIGNAL PULSING)

Ow! Ow!

Sir? MAN: God damn it! Damn!

Sir? MAN: Damn.

WOMAN: Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Come on, baby. Come on.

This better not be another damn Russian spy job!

Boys from Air Traffic Res say the skies are clear.

It's the real thing.

A radio signal from another world.

Let. Let's. Let's not jump the gun here.

Get online with Space Command. They're gonna want to know about...

Jeez, what's with the golf balls. You're gonna kill me here.

Wait. wait. This can't be right.

The calculated distance from source,

is only 375,000km.

WOMAN: It's coming from the moon.

(SIGNAL PULSING)

GREY: Who else knows about this?

MAN: S.E.T.I. in New Mexico identified a signal.

But...

they're even more confused than we are, sir.

Excuse me.

Major! MAN: Yes, sir.

Radar reception has been impaired,

but we were able to get these.

We estimate that it has a diameter of over 550km

and a mass roughly 1/4 the size of our moon.

GREY: What the hell is it?

A meteor? No, sir.

MAN: No, definitely not.

How do you know?

Well sir, it's slowing down.

It's what? MAN: It's...

It's slowing down, sir.

Get me the Secretary of Defense.

Then wake him!

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

MARY: Hi. It's me.

TOM: Hi.

What time is it there?

It's 2:45 in the morning.

MARY: I know I didn't wake you.

As a matter of fact, you did.

Liar.

I have a confession to make.

I'm sleeping next to a beautiful, young brunette.

MARY: You didn't let her stay up all night watching TV?

Did you? TOM: Of course not.

You're gonna come home right after the luncheon, right?

MARY: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.

Mommy?

Here's your mother.

MARY: (ON PHONE) Hi, honey!

Hi. I miss you.

I know, I miss you too. President Whitmore's approval ratings

have slipped below 40%.

Even his crime bill failed to pass. He's good.

Are the salad days over for President Whitmore? More talk.

MAN: (ON TV) Leadership as a pilot in the Gulf War

is completely different from leadership in politics.

Daddy let me watch Letterman.

Traitor.

WOMAN: (ON TV) That's the problem. They elected a warrior and they got a wimp.

Good morning, George.

GEORGE: Good morning, Mr. President.

That game couldn't have been pretty.

Thank you, sir.

Connie, you're up awfully early this morning.

They're not attacking your policies, sir.

They're attacking your age.

CONNIE: Whitmore seems less like the president

and more like the orphan child Oliver asking.

Please sir, I'd like some more.

That's clever.

Yeah, well, I'm not laughing.

Age was never an issue when you stuck to your guns.

You were thought of as young, idealistic. Thanks.

Now...

the message has gotten lost.

It's just too much politics,

too much compromise.

Isn't it amazing how quickly everyone can turn against you?

It's a fine line between standing behind a principle and

hiding behind one.

You can tolerate a little compromise,

if you're actually managing to get something accomplished.

Well...

The Orange County Dispatch has voted you one of the ten sexiest men of the year.

That's...

That's accomplishing something.

MAN: Excuse me, Mr. President.

It's the Secretary of Defense.

Yes.

Could you say that again?

MAN: (ON RADIO) Station WXBY out here in Brooklyn.

The temperature is 95 degrees in Central Park.

What it is here in the borough, God only knows.

Let's go to Nick Jones.

He'll give us a traffic report to the beaches...

JULIUS: So what are you waiting?

My Social Security will expire, you'll still be sitting there.

I'm thinking.

JULIUS: Yeah, well, think already!

DAVID: Do you know how long it takes for those cups to decompose?

If you don't move soon, I'm gonna start to decompose.

Ah-ha!

Listen David, I've been meaning to talk with you.

It's nice that you see me so much now, but... Don't.

Don't start, Dad.

I'm only saying it's been what? Four years?

You're still wearing a wedding band?

Three years.

All right, three, four. You're divorced. Come on. Move on.

This is not healthy.

DAVID: No, this is not healthy. Smoking is not healthy.

Checkmate.

JULIUS: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait, wait, wait. This is not...

This is not checkmate.

See you tomorrow, Pop.

No, no, just hold on. This is not checkmate.

Checkmate.

Yes, we've got everybody we have working on the problem.

I love XFiles, too. I hope you get to see it.

(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

MARTY: David! David!

What's the hell's the point of having a beeper if you're not gonna turn it on?

It was turned on, I was ignoring you.

Hello. What's the...

What's the big emergency?

It started this morning.

Every station's making like it's the 1950s.

We got static. We got snow. All kinds of distortions.

Nobody knows...

What are you doing? There's a reason we have bins labeled recycle.

What the hell is going on?

My God in heaven.

So sue me, David!

We got a problem.

DAVID: Did you, try to switch transponder channels?

MARTY: Oh, please. You think I'd be this panicked if it was something simple?

Ok. Let's point the dish at another satellite.

MARTY: We tried that. It didn't work.

It's almost as though they weren't even there.

All right. What've we got here?

This is impossible.

MAN: We created a race of robots.

Their function...

TROY: Miguel, the signal's all screwed up.

MIGUEL: Stop it. Just leave it alone.

You're gonna break it, all right?

It's so fuzzy.

Oh, no.

Good morning, Lucas.

You see these?

LUCAS: I got a whole god damn crop full of these.

If your father's not in the air in 20 minutes...

I'm getting someone else.

Russell!

RUSSELL: Hey, Miguel!

(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

(SCREAMING)

Whoa!

Yahoo!

MIGUEL: Russell! What are you doing?

(MOTORS RUNNING)

(AIRPLANE RUNNING)

Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

Whoa! (GROANS)

It's the wrong field, you idiot.

Lucas' farm is on the other side of town.

(ROOSTERS CROWING FAINTLY)

Are you sure?

(ENGINES RUNNING LOUDLY)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

MAN: CNS is running a story that we're covering up

some type of nuclear testing experiment.

So tell them to run with it if they want to embarrass themselves.

NASA's been on my butt all morning.

They want to know our position.

Our official position is we have no official position.

Connie, what is going on here?

Come on guys, would I keep you out of the loop?

Yes, absolutely. In a second.

So what? I can't hear you.

At the moment our satellites are somewhat unreliable.

Isn't it possible that this thing may just pass us by?

ALBERT: What if it doesn't pass us by?

Let's retarget some ICBMs to blow it outta the sky.

And risk turning one dangerous falling object into many?

TOM: We don't yet know enough about what we're dealing with

to make any kind of intelligent judgments.

Luckily, the press is making up their own story at this point.

CONNIE: But that's not gonna keep.

We may need to upgrade to DEFCON 3.

ALBERT: Absolutely.

General contact NORAD.

You tell them we've upgraded to DEFCON 3.

GREY: That's not what the President said.

Don't you think that's a little premature? I don't think so.

MAN: We have over 50% of the armed forces out on weekend leave.

Not to mention the commanders and troops that are in town for the 4th of July parade.

Go ahead, Commander.

Our intelligence tells us the object has settled into a stationary orbit.

Well, that's good news.

Not really, sir.

MAN: Part of it has broken off into nearly three dozen other pieces,

smaller than the whole, sir,

yet over 15 miles in width themselves.

Where are they heading?

They should be entering our atmosphere within the next 25 minutes.

Take us to DEFCON 3.

(ALARM BEEPING)

MARTY: Please tell me we're getting somewhere.

Oh, there's good news and there's bad news.

All right. What's the bad news?

DAVID: The bad news is there's no penalty for disturbing my lunch.

MARTY: And the good news is you're not gonna charge me.

No, the good news,

is that I found the problem. It's not our equipment.

It's some kind of weird signal embedded in the satellite feed.

Wait, that's the good news?

Yeah, 'cause this signal has a definite sequential pattern.

So as soon as I find the exact binary sequence,

then I can calculate the phase reversal with that analyser I bought for your birthday and apply it,

we should be able to block it out completely.

And then we'll be the only guys in town with a clear picture!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, David! That's why I love you!

That's not necessary. Yes!

Yes! Too kind.

(PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

This better be good. MAN: Captain on deck!

Sir, we're looking at a total radar blackout over a 13 km area.

Let's do a diagnostic check... Excuse me, sir.

The radar may be malfunctioning, but the infrared

is totally off the map.

(SINGAL PULSING)

Jeez.

Get me Atlantic Command on the line.

MAN: Hang on, sir.

Sir, we have visual range with incoming over Iraqi airspace.

Second sighting?

Yes, sir. This just came in from the Persian Gulf.

Correction, sir.

MAN: We now have two confirmed visual contacts.

GREY: That's affirmative. Mr. President.

They're tracking another one off the California coastline.

All right, go ahead. Put it on.

General, you might want to watch this. Yes.

MAN: (ON TV) Ladies and gentlemen.

ladies and gentlemen,

we are interrupting our regular broadcast

to bring you extraordinary events

taking place in the Russian Republic.

MAN: (ON TV) This unexplained disturbance,

and the hysteria that it's causing are incredible.

WOMAN: (ON TV) How would you describe, what you're seeing?

It is clearing the mountains,

moving too slowly to be a comet or meteor.

Widespread panic has gripped the countryside

as thousands have taken to the streets.

WOMAN: (ON TV) It is confirmed.

The unexplained phenomenon is headed for Moscow.

Mr. President, we have an AWAC off the West Coast.

GREY: ETA with contact point, three minutes.

MAN: I don't understand it, sir. Side radar doesn't see it.

I know. It's blind, sir.

Nothing is registering.

MAN: (ON RADIO) Negative. We have zero visibility.

Visibility is at zero.

Command, this is Eagle Eye 370.

GREY: Captain, the president is listening.

Repeat what you just told me.

MAN: (ON RADIO) We still have zero visibility.

Instrumentation is malfunctioning.

We can't get any kind of reading of what's in front of us.

Wait a minute.

May be clearing.

(ENGINES ROARING SOFTLY)

MAN: Pull up! Pull up!

(MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(SCREAMING)

Line's gone, sir.

Two more have been spotted over the Atlantic.

One's moving toward New York,

the other's headed this direction.

How much time do we have?

Less than 10 minutes.

MAN: Alex, organize a military escort.

GREY: Mr. President, I strongly recommend

we move you to a secure location immediately.

Connie, can we expect the same kind of panic we saw in Russia?

More than likely. ALBERT: Mister President.

We can discuss this on the way.

I'm not leaving.

ALBERT: We have to maintain a working government...

I want you to get the vice president,

the whole cabinet and joint chiefs,

and take them to a secured location.

I'm staying.

I don't want to add to a public hysteria that's gonna cost lives.

Connie. CONNIE: Yes, sir.

We'll initiate the Emergency Broadcast System.

We'll advise people, not to panic.

The best idea right now, is to stay in their homes.

Yes, sir. Roy. Dean.

Alex, you contact the cabinet members.

Have them rendezvous here.

We'll take them to NORAD.

Mr. President, with your permission, I'd like to remain at your side.

I had a feeling you would.

And what happens if they do become hostile?

Then God help us.

CONNIE: (ON TV) There it is, the strange atmospheric phenomenon.

It is apparently what has been causing all the distortions in our broadcasts.

GIRL: David, are you watching this?

(SIGNAL PULSING)

MAN: Not to react in a manner of cold fear.

We have no evidence that these phenomena are endangering anyone.

Thus far reports of aggression,

Marty, listen, listen to this.

I got a lock on the pattern of that signal, so we can filter it out but...

if my calculations are right, it's going to be gone in, like seven hours anyway.

It's reducing itself every time it recycles,

so eventually it's gonna disappear...

You listening? Can you believe this.

David, haven't you been watching?

David! CONNIE: General.

General.

Good afternoon.

So far, the phenomenon has not caused any damage.

We have to ask you to try to stay calm,

and it's important for everyone not to panic.

We have a fix on three of the occurrences about to appear of...

It's just unreal.

Hey, Miguel, come here.

CONNIE: (ON TV) One is headed towards Los Angeles.

The other two are on our eastern seaboard

headed towards New York and Washington D.C.

MAN: Marty. Marty.

Jamie says this building has an old bomb shelter.

We're heading down there now.

All right, all right everybody, head down to the basement.

Take it slow. Don't run.

Walk down to the basement.

There's no shame in hiding.

Oh, I better call my mother.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(MEN LAUGHING RAPIDLY)

Well, look who we have here.

Hey, Russ, I heard you had a little trouble this morning.

MAN: Dusted the wrong field.

Well I know you're probably still a little confused

from your hostage experience.

Hostage experience.

Did something happen to you, Russ?

MAN: Oh, yeah. Seems years back, our boy was kidnapped by aliens.

Did all kind of experiments on him and such.

Tell them about it, Russ.

You get a couple of beers in him, and he'll tell you all about it, crazy stuff.

Won't you, Russ?

Russ,

when they took you up in their spaceship, did they do any...

sexual things, do you recall?

Do you recollect?

Oh, Russ!

(MEN LAUGHING INDISTINCTLY)

(RUMBLING)

WOMAN: Let's get outta here.

What's going on? What's going on?

(CONNIE TALKING INDISTINCTLY) (RUMBLING CONTINUES)

What's that?

Let's get outta here. Come on.

(PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

DYLAN: Mommy! Lookit!

It's too early, baby.

(RUMBLING)

Is it a earthquake?

JASMINE: Not even a four pointer.

Go back to sleep.

(STEVE GROANS)

Daddy!

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

What are you doing here?

You should be down in the shelter.

What's going on?

(RUMBLING CONTINUES)

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING) (BOYS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Aren't you coming, David?

No. I gotta see this.

(RUMBLING)

That's cool, man!

(PEOPLE CLAMORING INDISTINCTLY)

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING INDISTINCTLY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

You jerk!

(CAR CRASHING LOUDLY)

(RUMBLING)

(INDISTINCT SCREAMING)

(RUMBLING CONTINUES)

DAVID: The signal.

My God.

Now what do we do?

Address the nation.

There's gonna be a lot of frightened people out there.

Yeah.

I'm one of them.

(DOG PANTING)

Hey, hey, hey! Come on. He's just trying to impress you.

If you want to impress me, you need to get a job,

and stop slobbering all over my shoe.

(PEOPLE MURMURS INDISTINCTLY)

STEVE: I don't believe this. Jasmine.

Neighbors moving out.

Guess they finally got tired of all these quakes.

A little shake and they running.

MAN: (ON TV) Police and the fire departments are asking everyone to stay off the phone.

STEVE: Baby, there's something on the news about the quake.

MAN: The police are asking us not to call 911.

STEVE: What's up, man? DYLAN: Hey, Steve.

What you been doing out there?

Shooting the aliens.

Oh, you shooting aliens, right?

You think you tough? What you got?

Turn around. Let me see what you got.

Come on, Boomer. Let's get you something to eat.

Oh, no...

(JASMINE MOANS RAPIDLY)

Watch out. Watch it now, baby.

I'll go grab the paper. All right.

(EXCLAIMS)

Dylan!

(WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

MAN: Honey, let's go!

JASMINE: Babe, you want some of this coffee?

Babe.

Boom, boom, boom!

MAN: (ON TV) Pentagon officials are reporting more ships have just arrived

over the capitals of India,

England and Germany,

bringing estimates up to anywhere from 10 to 15

of these city-sized spacecraft.

MARTY: I know, Ma. Just try and stay calm.

Tell her to pack up and leave town.

Why? What happened?

Just do it!

Oh, Ma. Ma, listen.

Get your stuff together and head for Aunt Esther's.

Don't argue with me. Just go!

David, why did I just send my mother to Atlanta?

MARTY: David.

David, talk to me.

Did you hear me tell you that the signal hidden in the satellite feed

is slowly recycling down to extinction?

Not really. DAVID: It's a countdown.

A countdown?

Wait. A countdown to what, David?

It's like in chess.

First you strategically position your pieces,

then when the timing's right you strike.

See?

DAVID: They're positioning themselves all over the world,

using this one signal to synchronize their efforts.

In approximately six hours,

the signal's going to disappear, and the countdown's going to be over.

And then what?

Checkmate.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

I've got to call my brother.

I'd better call my housekeeper.

I gotta call my lawyer.

Forget my lawyer.

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States.

TOM: (ON TV) Good afternoon.

My fellow Americans,

a historic and unprecedented event has occurred.

The question of whether or not we're alone in the universe

has been answered.

Although it's understandable that,

many of us feel a sense of hesitation or even fear

we must attempt to reserve judgment...

He says he's your husband.

Oh, God.

What do you want?

You got to leave the White House.

(WHISPERING) This is hardly the time nor the place to be having that same old discussion!

DAVID: You don't understand. You got to leave Washington.

Well, in case you haven't noticed,

we are having a little crisis here.

They're communicating with a hidden signal.

They're going to attack.

You are just being paranoid!

DAVID: It's not paranoia. The embedding's very subtle.

It's probably been overlooked.

(HANGS UP PHONE)

Marty, what are you doing?

Get out of town as soon as you can.

Please, my staff and I Ok. Ok.

TOM: Will remain in the White House

as we attempt to establish communication.

If you feel compelled to leave these cities,

please do so in an orderly fashion.

(ALL SCREAMING) (HORN HONKING LOUDLY)

Hey! What's going on?

Excuse me.

Coming through.

MAN: The arrival of the alien visitors

has caused over 10,000 fender-benders

in just a few seconds' time,

but this is just the beginning...

JASMINE: Come on now, you can't go.

You got to call them back.

I'm not going to do this with you, Jasmine.

I've got to report to El Toro.

But you said you was on leave for the 4th.

Yeah, well, they canceled it!

Look, why are you acting like this?

Why?

That's why.

STEVE: Look.

I really don't think they flew 90 billion light years,

to come down here and start a fight

and get all rowdy.

Look why don't you just relax?

I'm going to report to El Toro and find out what's going on.

STEVE: What are you doing in there, man?

DYLAN: Nothing. I'm just driving.

Look. Here, I got these for you.

Firecrackers.

Now, you be careful.

Steve, wait.

I want to tell you something.

What is it, Jasmine?

You take care of yourself, you hear?

Look.

Why don't you get some things packed,

and you and Dylan come stay with me on the base.

And you will see that there is nothing to be scared of.

Really?

You don't mind?

Well, I mean...

We'll have to let all my other girlfriends know

that they can't come over, you know,

and got to postpone a little freaky-deaky. There you go,

there he goes, thinking you all that.

But you are not as charming as you think you are, sir.

Yes, I am.

Them big old Dumbo ears.

Look at you with them chicken legs.

Come on Dylan, honey.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY)

DAVID: Look out! Look out!

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

What? (GUN COCKS) Hey!

The television said they started the looting already, heven't they?

Vultures.

You still have the Plymouth?

You want to borrow the car?

David, you don't have a license.

You're driving.

Yeah, I'm driv... I'm driving?

DAVID: Come on, come on.

(HORN HONKING)

I really want you out of Los Angeles.

MARY: You're staying there to keep people calm.

It's the right thing to do. I'm not going to let them criticize you for it.

I appreciate it, your trying to help me.

Liar.

Stick to the truth it's what you're good at.

TOM: All right. I'll tell you the truth.

I don't want you in any one of those cities.

(SIGHS)

I'll leave as soon as the interviews are done.

All right.

There's a helicopter waiting. They're gonna take you to Nellis.

MARY: And the munchkin?

TOM: She's going to meet you there.

All right.

I love you.

I love you.

MARY: Bye.

Bye.

(MAN ON TV TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(HORN HONKING)

JULIUS: It's the White House for grying out loud!

You can't just drive up and ring a bell.

Can't this thing go any faster?

What, you think they don't know what you know?

They know. Believe me, they know.

She works for the president. They know everything.

They don't know this.

You're going to educate them?

Yeah so tell me something. You're so smart.

How come you spend eight years at M.I.T to become a cable repairman?

Dad!

No all I'm saying is they got people who handle these things, David.

They want HBO, they'll call you.

JULIUS: Look at these, look at these people. Look?

Vultures. They take, and then they go.

They're going, they're going faster than we are.

Look at this we're in the fast lane.

I can't go faster. They're cutting me off here.

No one's cutting you off. We're going to get a ticket.

They're getting in front of me. I can't go any faster.

All right. All right. I don't want to argue you.

(SHUSHES)

Let's just get there,

as quickly as possible. What's the rush?

You think we'll get to Washington, it won't be there?

WOMAN: A local crop duster was arrested today

as he papered city hall with leaflets from the air.

Everybody's leaving.

Can you give us some of your time?

Do you want to make a statement?

RUSSELL: We've got to stop them!

I was kidnapped by space aliens 10 years ago.

They did all kinds of experiments on me.

They've been studying us for years, finding out our weaknesses.

We've gotta stop them!

They're gonna kill us all!

WOMAN: Some people attribute his eccentric behavior

to post-traumatic stress syndrome

from his service as a pilot in Vietnam.

Others, however, have a more unusual theory.

How would you describe Mr. Casse?

Private. Keeps to himself.

Real quiet. Quiet.

When they took him up in the spaceship,

the aliens abused him...

sexually.

WOMAN: Mr. Casse is in the county lockup this evening...

MIGUEL: Pack up. We're leaving.

WOMAN: Due to extenuating circumstances,

he may be released later tonight.

Miguel, what about Dad?

This could be our last night on Earth.

You don't want to die a virgin...

do you?

Come on, we're going.

No. I'm not going anywhere.

Miguel!

Stop it!

(DOOR SHUTS)

RUSSELL: Thanks a lot, partner.

You read my mind!

Stay here.

RUSSELL: We gotta get as far away from these things as we can!

They let you out?

You damn right!

They got bigger fish to fry now, believe you me!

Come on, boy!

MIGUEL: We're leaving without you.

We're going to live with Uncle Hector in Tucson.

(SPITS, LAUGHING)

Hector!

Like hell you are.

I'm still your father.

No, you're not.

You're just the man who married my mother.

You're nothing to me!

Aw!

Oh! (SIGHS)

Well, what about Troy?

Troy?

Yeah.

MIGUEL: For once in your life, why don't you think about what's best for him?

Who has to beg for money to buy him medicine when you screw up!

Huh? Who? Who?

(SCREAMS) You stop it right now!

I'm not a baby anymore!

I don't want your stupid medicine, because I'm so sick of medicine!

MIGUEL: Do you know what this stuff costs?

Do you wanna get sick again?

Do you?

MAN: Once again, the L.A.P.D. Is asking Los Angelenos

not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft.

You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.

Think we can find something better to do with our time, gentlemen?

JIMMY: Where you been, Stevie?

Man, this is unbelievable. This is, like, huge.

They. They've recalled everybody.

Well, looks like the mail's still working.

STEVE: Oh! Oh, oh.

You got to do the honors for me, man.

You're a wuss.

Yeah, whatever. Shut up and read it.

It says...

Captain Steven Hiller,

loser.

United States Marine Corps. Come on, come on, come on!

We regret to inform you that,

despite your excellent record of service...

I'm sorry, man.

You know what you need to do?

You need to, like, kiss some serious booty to get ahead in this world, man.

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

See, I like the one-knee approach because,

it puts the booty, like right...

in front of the lips, what's this?

STEVE: That's nothing. JIMMY: Hold on. Hold on, man.

What is this?

STEVE: Jasmine kind of has a thing for dolphins. I don't know.

JIMMY: Stevie, this is a wedding ring.

I thought you said you were going to break the whole thing off.

(SIGHS) Yeah.

Man, you know I really like Jasmine.

You know that, right?

Man, you're never going to get to fly

the Space Shuttle if you marry a stripper.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN: It could only happen in California file,

here's Wendy Walsh with a special report.

WOMAN: Below us, we can see hundreds of UFO fanatics

who have gathered on rooftops here in downtown Los Angeles to welcome the new arrivals.

Oh, God! I hope they bring back Elvis!

JASMINE: I just came in to get my check tonight, and I got talked into working.

Oh, I must have been tripping.

WOMAN: It's being called the party event of the century,

and everyone is invited, especially you know who.

This is so cool.

JASMINE: Girl, please.

Oh, hey.

I made it before I came in tonight.

TIFFANY: Check it out.

Now I know you're not thinking about joining those idiots.

Oh, I am going over there as soon as I get off.

Do you wanna come?

Tiffany, listen to me a second.

I have got a really bad feeling about this. I don't want you to go.

Oh, like the really bad feeling you got when I went to Las Vegas?

Yeah. And I was right.

You didn't get the job and you lost all your money gambling.

Yeah, but I wasn't in L.A. for the earthquake.

Tiff, I really don't want you to go up there.

Now promise me you won't.

Come on girl, promise me! TIFFANY: No, no, no.

I promise.

Ok.

Look.

I'm going.

JASMINE: I'm out of town for a while.

Later. Bye.

Hey, there's my angel. Come on.

Come on, Boomer. Let's go.

Hey, come on. Talk to your boyfriend later.

Hey! What the hell's the kid doing here?

Huh? (GRUNTS)

MAN: Get out of here! You try finding a sitter today.

Hey! Hey, where do you think you're you going?

You leave, you're fired.

Nice working with you, Mario.

Come on, Boomer.

JULIUS: Everyone in the world is trying to get out of Washington.

We're the only schmucks trying to get in.

(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

What. What the hell is that?

Pops, this is every phone book in America.

You think an important person like Constance is going to be listed?

DAVID: She always keeps her portable phone listed for emergencies.

Sometimes it's her just first initial,

sometimes it's her nickname,

sometimes just her...

Oy, my God!

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Slow down!

(CAR HORN WAILING)

JULIUS: Where are they going? DAVID: Please stop!

Tell them! Tell them!

(BOTH SHOUTING)

DAVID: Slow down!

Off-ramp!

DAVID: Slow down!

JULIUS: We made it! We made it! DAVID: Good, good.

Nice driving, Pops.

Well...

JULIUS: So, not listed?

DAVID: No, no. I just haven't found it yet.

I tried C. Spano, Connie Spano,

Spunky Spano.

Spunky?

College nickname.

Cute.

You tried Levinson?

DAVID: No she didn't take my name when we were married.

Why would she... What are you talking about?

Try it.

Okay. Here. Look.

(JULIUS STAMMERS)

So, what do I know?

(PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(MAN ON RADIO TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

So...

You want to ring the bell or should I?

(PHONE BLARING)

Oh, perfect. She's using it.

Perfect. What's perfect? It's busy.

Yeah. I can use her signal,

to triangulate her exact position in the White House.

You can do that?

Yeah. All cable repairmen can, Pops.

MAN: The visitors have arrived, but the president remains at the White House.

Question.

Are Mr. Whitmore's actions A, ultra brave.

Or B, foolhardy? (PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE BEEPS)

What? DAVID: Now, don't hang up, sweetie.

David. How did you get this number?

DAVID: Do me a favor. Walk to the window.

And I'm looking for what?

DAVID: You'll see.

Over here.

See us?

How does he do that?

MAN: Reporting live from Andrews Air Force Base

just outside Washington, D.C...

Yes, that's right, Tom, an amazing moment.

We're reporting from Andrews Air Force Base...

Now in light of our apparent inability to communicate with the visitors,

Pentagon officials have retrofit this skylift helicopter

with a type of visual communications device.

Mr. President. Gentlemen, be seated.

This is not a military airgraft but as you can see,

TOM: Where are we now?

They're just commencing liftoff.

WOMAN: And refitted with these enormous light panels that are

attached to the hull and onto the sides.

MAN: (ON RADIO) Echo One, Welcome Wagon is in the air.

I repeat. Welcome Wagon is in the air.

MAN 2: (ON RADIO) Roger, Welcome Wagon. Echo One right beside you.

JULIUS: This is something I would never believe in my lifetime,

that I would be in the White House.

Look at this.

If I knew I was going to meet the president,

I would have worn a tie.

Yeah I mean, look at me. I look like a schlemiel.

DAVID: You look fine, Pops.

Oy, my God.

CONNIE: David, I don't know how happy he's going to be to see you.

Yeah, that's right. I'm telling you, we're wasting time.

Like he's not going to listen to me. We should go?

Why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't he listen?

Because last time I saw him we, we got into a fight.

You walked in the room and punched him in the head.

You punched the president?

He wasn't the president then. I punched him, he fought back.

We wrestled around. It was a fight.

A fight that you started,

because David thought that I was having an affair.

With the president? Which, of course, I wasn't...

Hey, hey! You know, either go get him, or we should head back to the car.

All right. I'll get him. You wait here, and don't touch anything.

You punched the president?

Mein Gott!

(HELICOPTER ENGINE WHIRRING)

Nearing point of contact, Echo One.

We're closing in.

MAN: (ON RADIO) Roger that. You're a go to commence sequence when ready.

This I like.

Look at this!

You know what famous people have been here?

Yes, Dad.

Politicians, actors...

Baseball players, singers...

And now me.

DAVID: Imagine that! Look, a poor immigrant like me.

It's a dream! David, please!

WOMAN: The three choppers are steadily approaching

what has been unanimously agreed to be the front of these spaceships,

a parabolic indentation 9 city blocks...

You're leaving now?

Hey, see if they got those pens that they give away.

Dad, what?

TOM: You'd still think I have a choice of my company.

I don't have time for this.

Two minutes, Tom. Connie...

JULIUS: Mr. President. Mr. President.

Julius Levinson. David is my son.

I told you he wouldn't listen. Νο, you have to tell him now.

Tell him. David, you have to tell him! Hey Connie!

David, tell him!

Uh, I know why we have satellite disruption.

All right. Go ahead.

Ok.

DAVID: Let's say that you want to coordinate with spaceships...

on different sides of the Earth.

You couldn't send a direct signal, right?

You're talking about line of sight.

Yeah, that's right, that's right. Exactly. The curve of the Earth prevents it.

DAVID: If you'd need satellites to relay that signal

in order to reach each ship.

Well, I found a signal,

hidden inside,

our own satellite system.

MAN: Excuse me, Mr. President.

They're starting.

They're using our own satellites against us...

(BEEPING)

and the clock is ticking.

(ENGINE RUNNING)

Bringing it in to hover.

MAN: Welcome Wagon, Echo One.

Approaching alien ship.

Initiating communications sequence, Echo One.

Welcome Wagon has commenced.

TOM: General Grey, coordinate with the Atlantic Command.

Tell them to evacuate as many people out of the cities as they can.

GREY: Yes, sir.

Get those helicopters away from the ship.

Call them back immediately.

ALBERT: What the hell's going on?

We're leaving.

Kim, my daughter.

Uh...

There's something happening here.

They're responding.

MAN: Something's opening.

WOMAN: Something is happening.

It looks like there's some kind of activity here.

This may be some type of response, Echo One.

We see it, too. Can't identify it.

(EXPLODING)

(FIRE CRACKLING)

We are evacuating. I repeat. We are evacuating the White House.

(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Load the rest of the staff in the second helicopter.

MAN: Who should we pick?

Is my wife in the air?

She will be shortly.

Nice. Very nice.

MAN 1: Ok. Buckle up. MAN 2: Latch secure.

Look, we have our own phone.

MAN: Let's move outta here!

MAN: The president's ordered an evacuation. We have to leave now.

MAN: (ON TV) And our prayers go out to the wives and children of those brave pilots.

Indeed, God help us all.

Come on.

The visitors responded with terrifying...

Authorities have called for a complete evacuation of Los Angeles County.

People are advised to avoid the highways wherever possible.

Oh, yeah. Great. Now he tells me.

MAN: (ON PA) This is the Los Angeles Police Department.

Please vacate the premises immediately for your own safety.

Take me!

Take me!

Can we move it along?

WOMAN: (ON PHONE) Dr. Katz's office.

Hello. Let me speak to... Dr. Katz,

Please. I'm sorry. He's not available.

Listen, for $300 an hour, you can put me through to his house in the Hamptons!

MAN: This is the Los Angeles Police Department.

Please vacate the premises immediately for your own safety.

MAN: Mrs. Whitmore.

You must leave now.

No!

MAN: First lady secured. We're on the move.

Look! They're opening up!

(HATCH OPENING)

It's so pretty.

MAN: We gotta get the hell outta here!

TOM: Go ahead, pilot. We're ready to take off right now.

Can you get a blanket for Patricia?

Here.

JULIUS: Over there?

(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

(SOFTLY) Time's up.

(GASPS)

(EXPLODING)

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(ALL CLAMORING INDISTINCTLY)

Get down!

(EXPLODING)

(SCREAMING)

(HORN HONKING)

(EXPLODING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY)

(GIRL SCREAMING FAINTLY)

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(EXPLODING) (SCREAMING)

Oh, crap.

(HELICOPTER ENGINES WHIRRING)

(EXPLODING)

(WIND HOWLING LOUDLY)

(SCREAMING)

(EXPLODING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALARM BLARING) (SCREAMING)

(EXPLODING)

(RUMBLING HARDLY)

(FIRE CRACKLING)

(MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, my God.

Come on, Dylan. We gotta go.

Come on, Boomer.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(DYLAN SCREAMING)

(CARS CRASHING)

(JASMINE GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)

Boomer!

Boomer!

(BOOMER WHIMPERS SOFTLY)

(LOUD THUDDING)

MAN: (ON RADIO) Reports are unclear as to the extent of the devastation,

but from all accounts, Los Angeles, Washington,

and New York have been left in ruins...

Good God!

RUSSELL: I been saying it.

I been saying it for 10 damn years.

Ain't I been saying it, Miguel? I been saying it.

Dad, I'm sick. I don't feel good.

TROY: Pull it over, man.

MIGUEL: We're going to be all right, Troy. TROY: Leave me alone, man I got it.

Miguel.

Look at all that.

TOM: We could have evacuated the cities hours ago.

That's the advantage of being a fighter pilot.

In the Gulf War, we knew what we had to do.

It's just...

not simple anymore.

TOM: A lot of people died today.

(SIGHS)

How many didn't have to?

Any news on my wife yet?

The helicopter never made it to Nellis.

GREY: No radio contact.

JASMINE: Come on, Dylan. Stay close.

Here it is.

What happened, Mommy?

I don't know, baby.

MAN: You men will be the first wave in our counterattack.

Our target is to the north,

centered above what remains of down town Los Angeles.

You scared, man?

No.

You?

Nope.

Hold me.

Hey, pay attention.

Something you want to add to this briefing, Captain Hiller?

No, sir. I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whup E. T.'s ass, that's all.

And you'll get your chance.

You'll all get your chance.

Good hunting.

Dismissed.

Let's kick the tires and light the fires, big daddy.

(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

JIMMY: Let's bring it home.

Let's bring that bad boy home, Captain.

You loose? Yes, sir.

You got your victory dance?

Well, I got it right here.

Don't get premature on me, soldier. We don't light up till the fat lady sings.

I'm all ears, brother.

You the man!

(ENGINES ROARING LOUDLY)

TOM: All right, gentlemen, we're on.

General, it's NORAD.

General Grey here.

Al?

ALBERT: All satellite, microwave and ground communications with the cities are down.

All systems go.

For intelligence, we believe we're looking at a total loss.

How about our boys? Where are they?

ETA to target, four minutes.

I shouldn't have left her.

Don't worry about it, big man.

I'm sure she got out of here before it happened.

Or, as the good reverend would say,

(AS JESSE JACKSON) Why we're on this particular mission we'll never know.

But I do know, here today, that the Black Knights

will emerge victorious once again.

Amen, man.

Amen, Reverend.

Holy God.

Lock and load.

Roger that.

Los Angeles Attack Squadron has Amraam missiles locked on target.

Washington and New York squadrons reporting lock on.

Fire at will.

MAN 1: Fire at will. MAN 2: Fire at will.

STEVE: Knights we are red and free.

Knight 1, Fox 3.

MAN: Knight 3, Fox 3.

JIMMY: Knight 7, Fox 3.

Missiles have been fired.

(BEEPING)

Are they not getting through? MAN: No, sir. Not one.

Command, Knight 1. Command, Knight 1.

Switching to sidewinders. Moving in.

Knight 3, Love 50. Notch reference 1-2-0.

Knight 7. 1-2-0.

Knight 1. Sweet luck.

Echo, Fox 2. Knight 7, Fox 2.

Come on. Come on.

They must have some kind of protective shield over their hull.

Knights! Pull up! Pull up!

Knight 3, pull up!

Controls are showing complete failure of the stats.

Pull up!

(SCREAMING)

Blow through! Blow through!

There's so many of them!

(SCREAMING)

MAN: They got another one, sir.

Oh, no. You did not shoot that green shit at me.

I've got you covered, big daddy.

Damn. They got shields, too.

(GROANS)

Let's go, Knights. Move, Knights, move!

(SCREAMING)

Jesus.

MAN: They got another one, sir. Two more just went down.

They're dropping like flies. MAN 2: We're losing them.

All right. Get them out of there.

MAN: All right. Squadron leaders, retreat to fallback positions.

Abort mission. Abort mission right away. Do you read me?

MAN: Do you copy?

We're going to have to make a run for this one here.

Let's get low. Let's get fast.

I got you, big daddy. Let's get them.

STEVE: Whoo!

Watch the deck.

(GRUNTS)

Do you read me, your postion? Squadron Leader, do you read?

Abort! This isn't happening fast enough.

Get them out of there!

(EXPLODING)

(EXPLODING)

MAN: What's with the monitor? Where's the picture?

We've lost the satellite.

STEVE: We got two R-6, Jimmy. Check them.

Roger.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Move, move, move!

JIMMY: He's on me like white on rice, big daddy.

All right, Jimmy. They ain't got nothing for us.

Let's push it. We gotta go! We gotta go!

JIMMY: I can't shake them. I can't shake them.

STEVE: Yes, you can. Just the way I showed you. Let's go!

Check me out. Maybe I'm going to try something.

Don't do nothing stupid over there.

You know me. (GRUNTING) That's what I'm talking about.

Jimmy! Jimmy, what are you doing? You can't bank at that speed.

Jimmy, he's closing on you!

(BEEPING) (BREATHING HARDLY)

Put your mask back on! That's an order, Marine!

I can't breathe!

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

(EXPLODING)

Jimmy! No!

MAN: That's affirmative. We have incoming.

MAN 1: Let me have it, son. MAN 2: You got it.

Friendly?

Sergeant?

I don't think so.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

(MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(MEN SCREAMING)

(MAN SCREAMS)

STEVE: Come on and get me! Come and get me!

(GRUNTS) What are you shooting at?

Where you at, baby? Come on! Come on!

Ah! You can't hit nothing!

(ALARM BEEPING)

(GRUNTING EXCITEDLY)

Whoa! Low bridge!

STEVE: Whoo!

See if you can fly that thing undercover.

(STEVE LAUGHING)

Hope you got an air bag.

STEVE: Whoo! (EXPLODING)

(SHIP CRASHING)

(THUDS)

(GRUNTING ANGRILY)

(GRUNTS, EXHALES)

Son of a bitch.

(SCREAMING)

That's right! That's right!

Get off of me! Get off of me!

(SHOUTING) That's what you get!

(STEVE LAUGHING FAINTLY)

Look at you!

Ship all banged up!

Who's the man?

Who's the man?

Wait until I get another plane!

I'm lining all your friends up right beside you!

Where you at?

Where you at?

(GRUNTS)

(ALIEN ROARS)

(GRUNTS) (GROANS)

Welcome to Earth.

Now, that's what I call a close encounter.

(BOOMER PANTING HEAVILY)

Baby, stay right here. Stay right here with Boomer.

Keys.

Come on. Keys.

Yes!

Come on, baby. Come on.

Come on.

MAN: Rumor reports indicate that this battle has repeated itself all over the world

with the exact same results.

RUSELL: You're just like your mother, you know that?

She was stubborn too.

I had to twist her arm to get her to take her medicine.

You're gonna be all right.

You're gonna be fine.

RUSSELL: You see, Troy? You're feeling better already.

MIGUEL: I couldn't find anything.

Everyone's packing up. They're leaving.

They said there's a spaceship heading this way.

We'd better leave too, then.

Penicillin. At least, it'll help you keep his fever down.

Thank you.

It's really nice of you to help us.

I wish I could do more, but we're moving out.

I'm going with you.

(STAMMERING)

Well, I just mean that we're going too.

Cool.

RUSSELL: Tell that punk to shut the door. We're out of here.

He can sniff around somewhere else.

Bye. Bye.

(DAVID GROANING SOFTLY)

It's Air Force One, for crying out loud.

Still he gets sick.

Oh, boy.

I don't feel so good.

Look at me? Like a rock.

Could be bad weather, could be good weather.

Doesn't matter.

We could go up, we could go down.

We could go back, we could go forwards, we could go side to side...

(DAVID GROANS)

What did I say? (MUMBLING)

CONNIE: He still gets airsick? Yeah.

Julius, with all of this, I...

I didn't get a chance to thank you two.

All he could think of was getting to you.

There's still love there, I think.

Love was never a problem.

All you need is love.

John Lennon. Smart man.

Shot in the back, very sad.

GREY: We've moved as many of our forces away from our bases as possible.

But we've already sustained heavy losses.

ALBERT: I spoke with the joint chiefs when they arrived at NORAD.

They agree we must launch a counter offensive with a full nuclear strike.

Over American soil?

You're saying at this point we should sacrifice more innocent American civilians?

Is that right?

Sir, if we don't strike soon, there may not be much of an America left to defend!

Sir! They've taken out NORAD!

GREY: What? MAN: It's gone, sir.

My God!

The vice president?

The joint chiefs?

Mr. President.

We must launch.

ALBERT: A delay now would be more costly than...

when you waited to evacuate the cities.

DAVID: No, no. You're not gonna launch nuclear weapons!

You're gonna kill them and us at the same time.

If we fire nukes...

then everybody else who's got them, is gonna fire them. Sir, may I remind you...

that you are a guest here? You know what that means? Fallout!

You ever hear of nuclear winter?

It's the end of life as we know it. David, you can't interfere with the conversation.

Do you hear what they're talking about? I know, I know.

Don't even think about it! Just go.

I don't have to go. You have to leave.

It can't be allowed!

Shut up! Captain, get him out of here!

Hey, hey, don't tell him to shut up!

You'd all be dead now, if it wasn't for my David!

None of you did anything to prevent this!

There was nothing we could do.

GREY: We were totally unprepared for this. JULIUS: Ah!

Don't give me unprepared! Come on, Julius.

It was, what? In the 19, what? 50s. Whatever, you had that spaceship.

DAVID: Dad, look, Dad...

JULIUS: Yeah, that thing that you found in New Mexico!

Dad! Where was that?

No, not the spaceship.

Roswell! Roswell, New Mexico. Yeah! Don't do this.

No, you had the spaceship and you had the bodies!

They were locked up in a bunker. Come on.

Where was that? David?

I don't know. Area 51! Right?

Area 51!

You knew then! And you did nothing.

Sir.

Regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids,

there have never been any spacecraft,

recovered by our government.

Take my word for it. There's no Area 51.

And there's no recovered spaceship.

ALBERT: Uh, excuse me, Mr. President.

That's not entirely accurate.

What? Which part?

(GLASS SHATTERS)

Hold on, everybody! Hold on!

Sorry.

MAN: The end hath come!

He spaketh His word, and the end hath come!

Hop on!

We're heading out to El Toro!

You cannot defy what hath come!

It is the end!

El Toro?

JASMINE: Can you give me a hand? MAN: Yeah, sure.

(BOOMER BARKS)

Oh, God!

(BOOMER BARKING FAINTLY)

Okay, okay,

Let's get this off.

Here, let me help you.

She's hurt pretty badly.

STEVE: You know, this was supposed to be my weekend off.

But, no!

You got me out here, dragging your heavy ass,

through the burning desert,

with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute.

You gotta come down here with an attitude,

acting all big and bad.

And what the hell is that smell?

(SCREAMING)

I could've been at a barbecue!

But I ain't mad.

It's all right.

It's all right.

(RUMBLING FAINTLY)

(CAR MOTORS RUNNING)

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

RUSSELL: Do you need a lift, soldier?

When I flew overhead, I saw a base not too far from here.

It ain't on the map.

Trust me, it's there.

SOLDIER: Ten hut!

Mr. President. General.

Welcome to Area 51.

Please follow me.

MITCHELL: We're now 24 floors beneath the surface,

and, here's our main research facility.

Let's see it.

I'm sorry, sir, it's a clean room. It's to keep it static free.

If we'd all get to decontamination... Open the door.

Yes, sir.

(KEYS JINGLING)

(BEEPING)

TOM: My God!

Why the hell wasn't I told about this place?

Two words, Mr. President. Plausible deniability.

TOM: I don't understand. Where does all this come from?

How do you get funding for something like this?

You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer,

$30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?

MITCHELL: Mr. President, this is Dr. Okun.

He's been heading up the research department on this project for the last 15 years.

How do you do?

Mr. President!

Wow! (CHUCKLES)

This...

What a pleasure!

As you can imagine, they...

They don't let us out much.

I can understand that.

(CLEARS THROAT)

BRAKISH: Well...

I guess you'd like to see the big tamale?

Follow me.

(BEEPING)

(DOOR OPENING)

(MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

She's a beaut, ain't she?

BRAKISH: As you can see from the repairs,

we've been trying to put her back together since the late 1960s.

Don't tell me you've had this for 40 years and you don't know anything about them.

Oh, hell, no! No, no, no, no, no!

BRAKISH: We know tons about them.

But the neatest stuff...

The neatest stuff has only happened in the last few days.

See, we can't duplicate their type of power, so we've never been able to experiment.

But since these guys started showing up, all the little gizmos inside turned on.

(LAUGHING)

The last 24 hours have been really exciting!

Exciting? People are dying out there.

I don't think exciting is the word I'd choose to describe it!

You guys are hoping to fly this thing?

TOM: You said you can repair their technology.

Can you tell us anything useful about them?

Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (STAMMERS) Well, I mean...

They're not all that dissimilar from us.

BRAKISH: Breathes oxygen, comparable tolerances to heat, cold.

Probably why they're interested in our planet.

Hey!

Hey!

You guys wanna see them?

(DOORS OPENING)

(LOUD THUDDING)

This is...

This is the vault.

Or, as some of us have come to call it...

the freak show.

(BRAKISH LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(BEEPING)

When we found them,

they were wearing some sort,

of biomechanical suits.

Once we got them off, we learned a great deal about their anatomy.

BRAKISH: Eyes, ears,

no vocal cords.

We are assuming they communicate with each other through some other means.

DAVID: You're obviously not thinking about hand signals and body language.

It's some kind of extrasensory perception, telepathy.

TOM: So...

It's an organic life form.

Can they be killed?

Their bodies are just as frail as ours.

And these two died in the crash.

This one a few weeks later.

BRAKISH: You just...

You have to get through their technology, which is...

I'm sorry to say, far more advanced.

TOM: David,

you unlocked part of their technology.

You cracked the code.

Oh, no, no. All I did was stumble onto their...

signal. I don't know how...

helpful I can be.

Why don't you show him what you've discovered so far?

Figure out what they haven't thought of yet.

We'll see if you're as smart as we all hope you are.

What code?

(RUMBLING)

Captain Steven Hiller, United States Marine Corps.

I'm sorry, captain. This is a restricted area.

I can't let you pass without clearance.

Okay.

Come here.

You wanna see my clearance?

(ALIEN GROANS) (GASPS)

Maybe I'll just leave this here with you.

Let them pass.

Let them pass! Get the hell out of the way!

Did you see that?

BRAKISH: Come on down. Look!

Watch your step. DAVID: Alright.

Well, obviously this cockpit was designed to seat three.

Though how they sat on them, I don't know.

Gently.

You see these gizmos flashing? DAVID: Yeah.

We've been working around the clock trying to get a fix on all this crap.

Some stuff we figured out right away.

This we're pretty sure is the life support system for the cabin.

(COUGHS)

And this doohickey is connected to...

Well, it was connected to the engine. Here, take that, will you?

These configurations...

Well, to be honest, we don't know what the hell this crap is.

But this is clearly what they use to guide and navigate their craft.

(LAUGHS)

Neat?

Could somebody grab my laptop there? Doc can I just have the computer inside?

What? See these patterns here?

They are repeating sequentially, just like their countdown signal.

They're using that frequency for computer communications.

See? That's how they're coordinating their ships.

You know...

You're really starting to make us look bad.

(METAL CRASHING)

They got one! They got one alive!

They got one, alive! Jesus!

Look. You'll be okay by yourself, Dave?

Fine by it. Yeah.

Don't touch anything.

Everybody's always telling me not to touch anything.

Here, here.

It's all wet.

STEVE: Right here. We got him in the back of the pickup.

General, sir. Captain Steven Hiller, United States Marine Corps.

Guess who's coming to dinner!

I need a doctor.

I need a doctor!

RUSSELL: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! How long has he been unconscious?

About three hours. Let's get him in containment, stat!

My son, he's very sick. He needs immediate attention!

He's drying out. I want him sprayed down with saline.

He has a problem with his adrenal cortex.

(SHOUTING) Please!

If you don't do something about it right now, my son will die!

Okay, just help him!

Okay. O'Haver, Miller, you come with us.

You, take us to him, okay?

MAN: Let's go.

All right! Move it, move it, move it!

GREY: As the former head of the CIA, you knew about this place.

When were you planning on informing the rest of us?

It had been deemed classified.

You should have told us about this when they first arrived!

You should have warned us before we launched a counterattack,

that cost the lives of hundreds of American pilots!

There was no way that we could have known

that our fighters would have been that ineffective against their attackers.

Mr. President.

MAN: The little bit of information we have comes directly into this room, Mr. President.

TOM: Atlanta, Chicago and Philadelphia.

Destroyed.

GREY: We learned that NATO and Western Allied installations were the first to be taken out.

Then we were hit.

They knew exactly where and how to hit us.

TOM: And our forces? GREY: We're down to 15%.

If you calculate the time it takes to destroy a city and move on,

we're looking at the worldwide destruction of every major city...

in the next 36 hours.

We're being exterminated.

MITCHELL: Mr. President.

This is Captain Steven Hiller.

Captain. Mr. President.

Well done!

Where is it now?

We have it isolated down in the containment lab, sir.

I'd like to go see it.

General, I'm really anxious to get back to El Toro.

Hasn't anyone told you?

El Toro has been completely destroyed.

(SIGHS)

We were lucky. Yeah!

Today was the first time I used the subway.

Thank God for the Metro Rail.

These should last us a while.

Don't move. I'll get it for you. Stay still.

He's your son?

He's my angel.

Was his father stationed here?

No, he...

He wasn't his father.

But I was kind of hoping he wanted the job, though.

So what do you do for a living?

I'm a dancer.

Ballet!

No.

Exotic.

Oh!

Sorry.

Don't be.

I'm not.

It's good money. Besides...

JASMINE: My baby's worth it.

Dylan, come here.

I want you to meet the First Lady.

Hello. DYLAN: Hi.

I didn't know that you'd recognized me.

Well, I didn't want to say nothing.

I voted for the other guy.

BRAKISH: All right, life-support monitors recording.

So if we screw up, it's all on tape.

Okay, come on, come on, come on.

Let's get this biomechanical suit off.

Put the spreader right here, right along the ridge.

Microprobe thingamajig goes right here. Pick there. Good.

All right, now spread it very, very gently.

Let me get in.

BRAKISH: Gentle, gentle, that's it.

Run this right in...

(ALL YELPING)

(SCREAMS)

All right. Okay.

Let's proceed.

Now comes the... the really icky part.

Oh!

Oh, boy!

This is one smelly, disgusting...

Oh, look at it!

It doesn't look alive, does it?

The arm is moving.

(ALIEN SCREECHES)

(SCREAMING)

Doctor? Doctor?

(BRAKISH SCREAMING)

Doctor?

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

Don't move! Don't move!

(AIR HISSING)

(WOMAN EXCLAIMING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(ALIEN GROWLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

MITCHELL: Dr. Okun?

(BRAKISH GROANS)

ALIEN VOICE: Release me.

Open the door. Get him out of there! No, wait.

(ALIEN SHRIEKING)

Release me

now.

BRAKISH: Now!

I know there is much we can learn from each other,

if we can negotiate a truce.

We can find a way to coexist.

Can there be a peace between us?

BRAKISH: Peace?

No peace.

What is it you want us to do?

Die.

(ALIEN SCREECHING)

(TOM GRUNTING)

Die!

(TOM SCREAMING)

Mr. President.

Is that glass bulletproof? No, sir.

(GUN FIRING) (GLASS SHATTERING)

(ALIEN SHRIEKING)

(TOM GROANING)

GREY: Are you all right? TOM: I saw...

his thoughts.

I saw what they're planning to do.

They're like locusts.

They're moving from planet to planet.

Their whole civilization.

After they've consumed every natural resource, they move on.

And we're next.

(ALIEN SHRIEKS)

Nuke them.

Let's nuke the bastards.

(DAVID SIGHS)

Just my luck. No ice.

CONNIE: I take it you've heard?

DAVID: Hey, toast.

To the end of the world.

He didn't come to this decision lightly.

He didn't have any other choice.

Well, you still believe in him.

Yeah. Well, he's a good man.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

He'd better be. You left me for him.

Or, you know, for your career.

You know, it wasn't just my career.

It was the biggest opportunity of my life.

I wanted my life to make a difference. I wanted my life to mean something.

Yeah. And...

I wasn't...

ambitious enough for you? David!

David, you could have done anything that you wanted.

Research, development... DAVID: Oh, honey, I was happy where I was.

Haven't you ever wanted to be part of something special?

I was part of something special.

Well, if it makes any difference,

I never stopped loving you.

But that wasn't enough, was it?

(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

MAN: Let's pick it up, man. We've got a tight schedule. Now, let's go!

Let's pick it up, man. We're on a tight schedule. Let's go!

Let's go man!

MAN: Pick it up!

What the hell are you doing? Get out of there!

(GUN COCKS)

Look, I got something I gotta handle. I'm just borrowing it.

No, you're not, sir.

Do you really wanna shoot me?

Just tell them I hit you.

(HELICOPTER ENGINES WHIRRING)

MAN: (ON RADIO) Command, this is Retal Op.

Squadron is in the air.

We are on station

and awaiting instructions.

MAN: Roger. Break formation. Head to targets.

Sir...

They're breaking formation.

GREY: Mr. President, we're initiating sequence code. MAN: Verification. Alpha. Zulu. Six. Eight. Niner.

Which city will be reached first?

Houston, Texas.

MAN: ETA, six minutes and counting down.

Houston.

GREY: The major cities have been deserted.

Civilian casualties should be down to a minimum.

MAN: Command, this is Neighborhood Watch.

We are in position.

Tracking monitors are locked on.

We are going to visual recon.

MAN: Roger that, NW.

We have confirmation.

Launch code confirmed.

MAN: Alpha. Zulu. Six. Eight. Niner. Standing by.

Laser targeting.

Locked on.

We're locked on, sir.

Do you wish to deploy?

Mr. President, if you wish to deploy, the time is now.

Mr. President? Deploy.

That's a go. Alpha. Zulu. Six. Eight. Niner. That's correct. Deploy.

Here we go.

(MISSILE FIRING)

MITCHELL: Bird's away.

We have visual confirmation of the missile.

It's on target.

Approaching.

May our children forgive us.

MAN: Five seconds to impact. Three, two...

one.

ALBERT: Oh, yeah! It's a hit!

(SIGHS)

Get down! Get down!

Can we confirm that the target was destroyed?

Get the tank commander on line. I want confirmation that the target was destroyed.

MAN: Yes, sir!

Red Arrow, Alpha 9723. Can you read?

Repeat, Commander. You're breaking up.

MAN: We have lost visual.

Roger that. We're looking for confirmation.

We got the bastards. Yeah!

Good job, everyone! Congratulations! (ALL CHEERING)

MAN: Commander, do you have visual? I repeat, we need visual confirmation.

Has the target been destroyed?

MAN: Negative.

Target remains.

I repeat, target remains.

Call the other planes back.

Other bombers might have more luck. We shouldn't just give up on this!

I said call them back!

Abort. Abort mission.

Issue the abort codes right away.

MAN: This is an abort, full abort. Do you read?

Abort mission right away.

(RUMBLING)

(HELICOPTER APPROACHES)

STEVE: Jasmine!

You're late!

You know I like to make an entrance.

Where are we going? MAN: Through there, sir.

Mr. President, your wife is resting comfortably for the moment.

Perhaps if we had gotten to her earlier... Hey, there she is! Go on!

She doesn't look too good. Your wife is bleeding internally, Mr. President.

Perhaps if we'd gotten to her earlier... Wait a minute. What are you saying?

We can't stop the bleeding.

If we'd...

There's nothing we can do for her.

PATTY: We were worried. We didn't know where you were.

MARY: You've gotten bigger, I think.

I did?

You just keep growing and growing.

I can't...

Hey.

Can you wait outside for a little bit, so mom can get a rest?

Hey, come on, Munchkin.

I'm so sorry that I didn't come home when you asked me to.

It's okay.

The doctors...

think that you're...

gonna be just fine.

Liar.

Is Mommy sleeping now?

Yeah.

Mommy's sleeping.

Hey.

(METAL CRASHING FAINTLY)

JULIUS: David!

What the hell are you doing?

I'm making a mess!

Yeah. This I can see.

We gotta burn the rainforest with toxic waste,

pollute the air and rip up the ozone layer!

Because maybe if we screw this planet up enough.

(GRUNTS, GASPS)

They won't want it anymore.

Wait, wait, wait. David, David!

Don't do this to yourself.

Listen to me.

Are you listening to me? (SOFTLY) I'm listening.

Everyone loses faith at some point in their life.

David! Even myself.

I haven't spoken to God since your mother died.

You see, sometimes...

we have to remember what we still have.

Like what?

Well...

you still have your health.

David, David, you need your rest. Come on!

Get off this freezing concrete floor before you catch a cold. Come on.

What did you just say?

You mean about faith?

Well, you see, a man can live his life... No, no, no.

No, the other part.

What? What?

I don't want you to catch cold.

(GROANING)

What is that? What's the matter with you?

Genius.

Genius?

DAVID: My dad. A total genius.

Jerry?

Wake up.

We got work to do. Get everybody down here right away.

STEVE: Look at that!

Wow!

DYLAN: Does that thing really fly in outer space?

It most certainly does.

Sure doesn't look like it.

JERRY: Hey, they're here.

ALBERT: All right, Connie, what's this all about?

I have no idea.

Get everybody off.

Right, everybody.

Clear the platform. Let's go. Come on. Come on.

DAVID: Major Mitchell...

Do you have a pistol? What?

Have you got a gun? Sergeant, your sidearm.

See that Coke can on top of the alien craft?

Think you can shoot that thing off?

DAVID: Do it. Shoot it.

Sir?

Go ahead.

(ALL SCREAMING)

STEVE: What the hell are you doing?

I'm sorry. My fault.

My. My fault.

See, that Coke can was protected by the craft's shield.

We can't penetrate their defenses.

We know that already. What's your point?

Right. My point is, if we can't beat their defenses,

then we gotta get around them.

DAVID: Major, one more time...

Any time.

(SIGHS)

How did you do that?

I gave it a cold.

I gave it a virus.

A computer virus.

GREY: Are you telling us you can send out a signal

that will disable all their shields?

That's right. Just like they used our satellites against us.

We can use their own signal, against them.

If we plant a virus, into that mother ship,

it's gonna then filter down into all the corresponding ships below.

ALBERT: I'm sorry. I don't understand.

Just how exactly do we infect the mother ship with this virus?

(STAMMERS) We're gonna...

have to...

fly their alien craft out of our atmosphere and dock with it.

We can enter here, as shown in these satellite photos.

We then upload the virus.

We then set off some kind of explosion, which will disable it.

And that'll disorient the smaller ships below.

And that could buy you, I think at least, some time to...

to take them...

take them out, take them down.

Do your...

Do your stuff.

This is ridiculous!

How long would their shields be down?

Uh...

I don't know. A matter of minutes.

ALBERT: You want us to coordinate a massive worldwide counterstrike

with a window of only a few minutes?

With shields down, that might be possible.

Oh, please!

ALBERT: We don't have the manpower or the resources...

to launch that kind of a campaign!

Not to mention that this whole cockamamie plan

is dependent on a machine that no one in this world is qualified to operate.

I wouldn't say that, sir.

STEVE: I've seen these things in action.

And I'm well aware of their maneuvering capabilities.

With your permission, general, I'd like the opportunity to try.

ALBERT: That thing is a wreck!

It crash-landed back in the '50s!

We don't even know if it's capable of flying!

Jim...

remove the clamps.

(DOOR OPENING GENTLY)

Any questions?

Let's do it.

All right, you heard the president, let's get this thing preped and ready to fly!

Good luck, pilot. Thank you, Mr. President.

A virus!

Your idea.

That's right.

Do you really think you can fly that thing?

Do you really think you can do all that bullshit you just said?

(DAVID SIGHS)

Hoo!

ALBERT: I understand you are upset over the death of your wife.

But that's no excuse for making another fatal mistake.

No! The only mistake I ever made

was to appoint a sniveling little weasel like you as Secretary of Defense.

I don't think you understand! However!

That is one mistake I am thankful to say that I don't have to live with.

Mr. President, please! Mr. Nimziki...

You're fired.

Let's organize every plane we can find and get us some goddamn pilots to fly them.

Yes, sir.

He can't do that. Well, he just...

did.

MAN: Command has attempted to compile a list of casualties and losses,

but information is sketchy at best.

Well, we know we've lost the Belgian contingent in the Sina.

There's a strong possibility ther may be more reinforcements hiding in the Golan Straits.

What the hell's he saying?

It seems they're getting a signal. Old Morse code.

It's from the Americans!

They want to organize a counter offensive!

It's about bloody time!

What do they plan to do?

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(SPEAKING JAPANESE)

We have confirmed reports of combat-ready divisions

in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia.

That's impressive.

Considering it's all being done with...

Morse code.

The armed forces here?

We have sufficient aircraft for the battleplan, but...

But what?

Pilots are coming up short.

Well, then, find them.

WOMAN: (ON TV) Ham radio operators from New York to Japan

trade rumors of military forces in hiding

unwilling to reveal themselves for fear of annihilation.

MITCHELL: What we're planning at this time is to launch a counter offensive.

However, with our depleted manpower,

we're asking that anyone with any flight experience come forward.

Military training is preferable, but anyone who can fly a plane would be useful.

I can fly.

I'm a pilot.

MITCHELL: All right, guys, listen up!

All right, pay close attention.

These F-18s are very different than the jets you piloted before.

It's kind of strong. You have to forgive the expression,

but you're about to get a crash course in modern avionics.

Keep it coming. Keep it, keep it. Okay, you got it!

All right, listen up.

Before we can begin, we're gonna have to get a little

background information on your flight experience.

Let's start with you.

Who, me?

Well, I'm Russell Casse, sir.

And, after 'Nam, I got into crop-dusting.

And...

been doing that ever since.

RUSSELL: On a personal note, sir...

I'd just like to add that...

ever since I was kidnapped by aliens 10 years ago,

I have been dying for some payback.

And I just want you to know that...

I won't let you down.

GREY: You have one tactical nuclear missile...

we're loading into this launcher we're installing under the right wing.

This is the firing mechanism.

GREY: It'll be attached to the ship's main console.

STEVE: Just like the Amraam launch pad on a Stealth.

Except the nuke will not detonate at impact.

You'll have 30 seconds to get your asses out of there.

GREY: Good luck, gentlemen.

30 seconds.

Tell me, tell me.

Well, it's the strongest radio transmitter we could get.

It'll tell us when you've uploaded the virus.

CONNIE: 30 seconds.

Don't you think that's cutting it a little too close?

Oh! We're gonna be well on our way back home before we shoot that thing off.

Why you? David!

CONNIE: I don't...

I don't understand,

why you can't show someone else how to plant the virus.

Someone who is trained. No.

No, something may go wrong.

I may have to think quickly, adjust the signal.

Who knows? Hey.

You know how like I'm always trying to save the planet?

Here's my chance.

Now he gets ambitious.

DYLAN: It's too tight. JASMINE: Well, I had to borrow it. Let me see.

Okay. All right, I guess that's good enough.

So. How do I look?

Oh, thank you. You're a lot of help.

JASMINE: You're late!

Well, you know me.

I know. You like to make a big entrance.

Listen.

Before we do this, I just wanna say I'm sorry.

Sorry for what, babe?

I should have done this a long time ago.

Do you have the ring?

Yes, sir.

STEVE: Here, make yourself useful.

Ow!

Witnesses?

STEVE: Uh... JASMINE: Um...

CONNIE: We got hung up.

PREACHER: Well, let's get this show on the road.

Dearly beloved,

we're gathered here in the sight of God,

and in the presence of these witnesses,

to join this man,

and this woman in holy matrimony.

Any person who can show good cause why these two should not wed,

please speak now or forever hold your peace.

Steve, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife

to live together with her in the holy state of matrimony?

Will you love her, comfort her,

honor and keep her in sickness and in health

and forsaking all others,

keep yourself only for her as long as you both shall live?

I will.

Good morning.

TOM: They're a little young.

GREY: That they are.

They look a little nervous.

MITCHELL: I need all flight crews to report to their designated areas immediately.

Major, can I borrow that? MITCHELL: Sir.

Good morning.

(BEEPS)

Good morning.

TOM: In less than an hour...

aircraft from here will join others from around the world.

And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind.

Mankind, that...

word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We can't be consumed by our petty differences any more.

We will be united in our common interest.

Perhaps it's fate that today is the 4th of July.

And you will once again be fighting for our freedom.

Not from tyranny, oppression or persecution.

But from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live.

To exist.

And should we win the day,

the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday,

but as the day when the world declared in one voice.

We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We're going to live on!

We're going to survive!

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

(ALL CHEERING INDISTINCTLY)

Yeah! Yeah!

Let's go!

MITCHELL: Mr. President. Right this way, sir.

I've got your gear over here.

Good luck!

I've got you a jumpsuit for you, and the rest of your gear is stored away in this duffel.

You've got your choice of helmets.

GREY: Mr. President, I'd sure like to know what you're doing.

I'm a combat pilot, Will.

I belong in the air.

Okay, sir. Let's get you airborne. Right over here.

STEVE: You know, as soon as I get back,

we're gonna light those fireworks, right?

Here.

Take these.

Just in case.

(STAMMERS) Where's...

Just in case.

I'm very proud of you.

Be careful, okay?

It's time.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, damn! Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait. Wait. We gotta find some cigars. (STAMMERING)

Here, here!

Take these. My last two.

You are a lifesaver.

Almost put a hex on the whole damn thing!

MALE VOICE: Good morning, Dave.

FEMALE VOICE: Missile launch. Oh, crap!

What do I hit? Which one?

(ENGINES SLOWING DOWN)

I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking.

(MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

This is our victory dance.

Not until the fat lady sings.

Oh! Yes, okay.

This is important.

Fat lady. I gotcha.

MALE VOICE: Open launch tunnel.

DAVID: Shaky?

Is it gonna do this the whole way?

Just make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their upright and lock position.

Yeah. Is it?

Let's rock 'n' roll.

(ENGINES ROARING) (DAVID EXCLAIMING)

(STEVE EXCLAIMS)

(CONNIE EXCLAIMS)

(STEVE LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

Oops! Oops?

What does that mean? What do you mean...

No, I got it. Look, some jerk didn't put the diagram right.

I know what I mean. I'm fine. What do you mean saying oops there?

What do you say we try that one again?

Yes, yes. Yes, without the oops.

This is...

That a way!

(BOTH YELP)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

I have got to get me one of these!

DAVID: No, no, no! What was that? What was that? Don't do that!

STEVE: Just trying to get a feel for the old girl, that's all.

Oh, no, no, don't. Leave her alone. Really.

Look, no hands. Steve!

(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

You're all secure, sir. Grey, do you read me?

Roger, Eagle One. Your primary target has shifted course.

TOM: Which way they headed? I think our secret's out.

They're headed straight for us.

GREY: ETA, 26 minutes.

(DAVID GROANS SOFTLY)

You still with me over there?

What the hell was I thinking?

DAVID: Oh!

Hoo-hoo.

I've been waiting for this my whole life.

Head straight for it.

What the hell?

Don't touch them. Don't, don't, don't!

I was counting on this.

They are bringing us in.

When the hell was you gonna tell me?

Oops.

We've got to work on our communication.

(ENGINES ROARING INDISTINCTLY)

We have visual.

Do not engage until we've confirmed...

the package has been delivered. Roger.

(RUMBLING)

CONNIE: Major, what happens if that thing gets here,

before the virus is planted?

Well, ma'am, this facility's buried deep within a mountain.

It should provide us some protection. Great.

What about the people outside?

Lieutenant Sell, we got incoming.

Oh, my God!

Look at that!

DAVID: There must be thousands of them.

Millions of them. What the hell are they doing?

Looks like they're preparing an invasion.

Hey, I don't like this.

This is stupid. They can see us!

DAVID: Oh, no, no, no, no. This thing comes fully loaded.

AM/FM radio, reclining bucket seats and...

power windows.

(SHIP THUMPING)

Come on, baby.

(CLAPS) We're in.

(SIGHS)

DAVID: Do it. Do it.

Do it.

Sir, he's uploading the virus.

Eagle One, the package is being delivered.

GREY: Stand by to engage.

TOM: Roger. Eagle One, check left.

MITCHELL: Listen up! We have an emergency situation.

We need everyone to grab everything they can.

Only what you can carry. We need to get you inside immediately.

The virus is in.

DAVID: All we can do now is...

pray.

Delivery complete.

Engage.

Delivery complete. It's a go! It's a go!

TOM: Eagle One. Fox three.

(MISSILE FIRING)

Gentlemen, this is it.

Come on, come on, come on.

God. (SIGHS)

GREY: Virus ineffective. Disengage.

Get your people out of there. MAN: (ON RADIO) Disengage.

Rear flank, follow suit.

TOM: Hold on, Command.

I want another shot at it.

GREY: Sir, I strongly recommend you disengage.

Eagle One.

Fox three.

(ALL CHEERING) Direct hit!

It's a hit! Squadron leaders, fire at will! Fire at will! Fire at will!

TOM: We're going in. Squadron leaders, take flight.

MAN 1: Eagle Six at seven. MAN 2: Eagle Five at three.

TOM: Eagle One. Fox two.

RUSSELL: Eagle Twenty! Fox two!

(LASERS FIRING)

Evasive maneuvers! Squadron leaders, evasive maneuvers!

Prepare to engage!

All right, Mr. President! Here we go!

All right, baby. I've gotcha!

Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

Okay. Job's done. Let's go home.

Gladly.

(SHIP CREAKING)

What's up?

It's stuck.

What? It's not responding. It's stuck.

Try it again.

(CREAKING)

(BEEPING)

Come on, come on!

(LASERS FIRING)

(EXPLODING) (MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(CRASHING)

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

(ALL CLAMORING INDISTINCTLY)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Steve, Steve!

Hey, what the hell are you doing?

DAVID: It's not me, they're overriding the system.

Oh, shit!

Um, hide.

(DAVID GROANS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Everybody hold someone's hand. Hold hands.

Come on in.

(JULIUS PRAYING IN JEWISH)

I'm not Jewish.

Nobody's perfect.

(PRAYING CONTINUES)

God! Where are they?

(EXPLODING FAINTLY)

This could be our last night on Earth.

I don't wanna die a virgin.

If we do, we'll both die virgins.

But at least we'll be together.

(RUMBLING FAINTLY)

Are you scared?

Me, too.

MAN 1: Eagle Seven, fox two.

MAN 2: Eagle Three, fox two.

We're running out of missiles, sir.

We're just not causing enough damage.

It's settling directly over us.

(HATCH OPENING)

They're preparing to fire their primary weapon.

Then let's take it out before it takes us out.

TOM: Target at 12 o'clock.

My God, they're everywhere!

TOM: Bandits on our tail! They're locked on!

I see them. I see them.

(EXPLODING)

All right, squadron leaders, I want a weapons check.

GREY: You're out of time!

You've gotta disable it now!

I'm in range. Locking on.

I've got tone. Eagle One, fox two!

(EXPLODING)

That is a negative impact.

TOM: That is an NI. Negative impact.

I'm out of missiles. Eagle Two!

I'm on it.

(EXPLODING)

Oh, Jesus!

Sir, all missiles have been fired.

You're out of time! Get your ass out of there!

We're not done yet!

Get as far away as you can!

Doesn't anyone have any missiles left?

RUSSELL: Sorry I'm late, Mr. President!

Kind of got hung up back there!

Pilot, you armed? Armed and ready, sir!

I'm packing!

Who is that guy? Put him on speaker.

Pilot, identify yourself.

RUSSELL: It's me! Russell Casse, sir!

I told you I wouldn't let you down!

RUSSELL: Just keep those guys off me for a few more seconds, will you?

MAN: Okay. Echo Niner, Echo Seven, take flanking positions.

I want you to look after this guy, okay?

TOM: All right, boys. Let's give Mr. Casse some cover!

Gentlemen! Let's plow the road!

(GUNS FIRING)

(EXPLODING)

We'll draw them off and it'll be all yours!

(RUSSELL LAUGHS) Look out! Coming through!

I've got tone.

Eagle Twenty. Fox two.

(MISSILE BANGING)

Eagle Twenty. Fox two.

(ALARM BEEPING)

It's jammed.

It won't fire.

Damn it!

Do me a favor.

Tell my children,

I love them very much.

All right, you alien assholes!

RUSSELL: In the words of my generation...

Up yours!

Dad! What's he doing?

RUSSELL: Come on, baby!

Come on, baby, come on!

Good luck, buddy.

(LASER FIRING)

(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

Hello, boys!

I'm back!

(CRUMPLING EXPLOSIONS)

TOM: He did it!

The son of a bitch did it!

Yeah! (ALL CHEERING)

Yeah! All right!

(ALL CHEERING EXCITEDLY)

What your father did was very brave.

You should be proud of him.

I am.

TOM: Now we know how to take them out, general.

Spread the word.

(ALL CHEERING)

Get on the wire to every squadron around the world.

Tell them how to bring those sons of bitches down.

(CLICKING)

What do you think?

(SIGHS) Checkmate.

Well, it's funny. I always thought that things like these would kill me.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Thank you.

It's been a pleasure.

Steve, you too.

Only one thing left to do.

Ready?

Yes, sir.

DAVID: Hey! STEVE: All right!

Look at us!

DAVID: Take a look at the earthlings. Goodbye!

Y'all take care, all right?

Nothing but love for you! Goodbye!

STEVE: Nothing but love for you.

STEVE: Do you think they have any clue...

what's about to happen to them?

DAVID: Oh-ho! Not a chance in hell. Good night!

(EVIL LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Peace!

(STEVE EXCLAIMS)

We're loose.

DAVID: Can you get us out of here in 30 seconds?

I ain't heard no fat lady!

Forget the fat lady. You're obessed with the fat lady.

Drive us out of here!

(ENGINE PULLING)

(BOTH GROAN)

DAVID: They're chasing us. Oh, really! You think?

(DAVID GROANS) (STEVE GRUNTS)

Oh, that was a hit. I took a hit.

We're not hit! We're not hit! Stop side-seat driving!

Left, left!

DAVID: Tunnel, tunnel! Exit, exit, left!

Where the hell do you think I'm going? Okay, okay. We're gonna...

(GRUNTS)

Uh-oh! They're closing up on us.

Is that closing? Shut up, shut up, shut up!

DAVID: Must go faster, must go faster, must go faster.

Go, go, go, go, go, go! (STEVE SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(EXPLODING)

(STEVE EXCLAIMING)

Elvis has left the building!

(AS ELVIS) Oh, thank you very much.

I love you, I love you, man.

(BEEPING)

(BEEPING)

(ALIEN GROANS)

(CRUMPLING EXPLOSIONS)

(RUMBLING FAINTLY)

(ALL CLAMORING INDISTINCTLY)

(MEN CHEERING EXCITEDLY)

(ALL LAUGHING HAPPILY)

Yes! Yes!

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

(ALL CHEERING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey!

They're going down all over the world, Tom. We got them beat.

How about our two delivery boys? Any word from them?

We lost contact with,

Captain Hiller and Levinson nearly 20 minutes ago.

MAN: Hold it!

Hold on, sir. I've got something on radar.

(ALL WHOOPING EXCITEDLY)

CONNIE: David!

DAVID: Ah! (LAUGHING HAPPILY)

Sorry, sir.

Good job. Thank you.

Well done, captain. STEVE: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

David...

Not bad.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Not too bad at all.

Oh, so this is healthy?

Oh, I could get used to it.

(JULIUS LAUGHING HAPPILY)

Happy 4th of July, Daddy.

Same to you, Munchkin.

Didn't I promise you fireworks?

Yeah. (LAUGHS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)