Original subtitles

.

- Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"...

Did you do something to my dog?

Since when did you start packing heat?

- My dad gave it to me after the break-in.

- Now you owe me. - What do you want?

- You'll be the first to know.

- Mom, where's Daddy? - He left.

- When's he coming back? - Never.

- I saw you with Joel.

- Maybe you misunderstood. - All over town.

Choose my husband or my son.

- Why did you leave me for that guy?

- You left me first.

- What's our goal here? - Dig up dirt on Brett.

- Find me something I can use.

- How do we get the body to the garden?

- Then we'll use their car. [tires screeching]

[dramatic music]

- * Na-na-na *

* Na-na-na-na *

* Na-na-na *

[indistinct chatter]

* Na-na-na-na *

* Na-na-na *

[engine revving]

- Welcome to Monaco Under the Stars.

- Don't scratch it.

- So first thing to know is, they're all dicks.

- * And once in March, your dog has no name *

- You don't have to tell me.

- * But this feeling does because... *

- You know what?

If you just show me where, I can park it myself.

- Don't worry, ma'am. We'll take good care of it.

* *

- * A bright light *

- Thank you. - Yeah.

- * Across your soul, you know *

* Na-na-na *

- Plate number on the ticket. Keys in the glove box.

It's a mess back there. - Seems easy enough.

- Why don't you get those first?

- [sighs]

Who doesn't drive a black Cadillac in this town?

* *

- * Na-na-na *

[music intensifies]

* *

[insect buzzing, gull squawks]

[folk rock music playing]

* *

- Thanks for coming in.

Got to say, I was a little surprised you texted.

- Ford got into college.

- What? - Early decision.

- Oh, my God. - Albion.

- This is incredible. - I know.

- Okay, uh, I'll--

I'll call my accountant and get everything started--

tuition, room and board.

Ooh, I was thinking I could start

a splurge account for him. - No, that won't be necessary.

- Oh, just in case he wants to buy,

like, back-to-school clothes or, like, boba or whatever.

- They gave him a scholarship.

- Wow.

- So we don't really need any more handouts from you.

* *

- Can I at least congratulate him?

- I'll tell him you're super pumped.

- I just meant if-- - I know what you meant.

* *

There is no reason for you to be in our lives anymore.

- I just want you to know that I never told him he's adopted.

- Hmm.

Didn't change the conversation we had about his last 17 years.

- I bet he's pretty upset.

- He's forgiven me.

- He--

he won't return any of my calls.

- Well, you're not his mom.

Drink's on me.

[soft electronic music]

* *

- Everything has a season.

Just like winter in a garden,

our own lives can feel frozen in time.

- * My hand is asking to be held *

* If you listen hard, you'll hear it say... *

[creature roars on TV]

- You too. You're next. You're next!

Yeah!

Whoa. [creature roars on TV]

- [sighs]

- * Your hand is cold, and so is mine *

- Uh-huh.

Uh, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe! Mm!

- I can't let you die on this couch.

- [sighs] Okay.

- You need a purpose again.

- What's more important than surviving

the zombie apocalypse?

- * Likes the feeling of you there *

- Babe, can you just--

- * I know, it told me so *

- Fostering Gail.

- [laughs] Oh, my--

- Yeah. [puppy whines]

- Oh. [both laughing]

Wait, who names a dog Gail?

- But winter can also be a time of growth,

even if it's painful.

- Just because Grandma and Grandpa are getting a divorce

doesn't mean they don't still love you.

- Do we get two Christmases? - Sure, why not?

- What about two Hanukkahs? - We're not Jewish.

- Why can't we celebrate both? - [chuckles]

I think someone's looking to maximize their presents.

- Don't you worry, baby.

We will spoil you rotten a little extra this year.

- Two Christmases and Hanukkah.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- The--the point is that...

it's normal to have big feelings about this.

But nothing's gonna change.

- Except we're selling the house.

- Wait, what?

- We want you to be our realtor.

- Yay, Mommy.

- Whoo-hoo. - Yes.

- Hey, Grandma, can your new house have a swimming pool?

- Grandpa...

- Yeah, both the kids' fevers are really high.

- What's he saying?

- So just keep up with the fluids and the soup and--

- What is it? - Shh.

- Okay, I got it. Thank you so much, Dr. Cohen.

- Rubella? - No.

- Roseola?

- No, nothing like that. - Whew.

- It's just RSV. - Oh, my God.

- [chuckles] They're gonna be fine.

- What about me?

- You cannot be serious.

- I-I have clients coming in from Seattle this week.

- So?

- So I can't be on a ventilator.

- Then just do what you do best and avoid the children.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- [sighs]

We both know that you always put yourself first.

- It can cause complications in older adults.

- You're not that old. - Exactly.

I'm not even old enough to get the vax.

- So go stay in a hotel or something.

- Why can't they stay at Brett's?

- Are you kidding me?

- He's their dad. - It's not his week.

- They're going to infect the entire house.

- I cannot believe you.

- Wait, Mel.

- [sighs]

- Tell them I love them.

[indistinct chatter]

[plucky music]

* *

- What the hell is this?

- Ooh!

It tastes pretty bomb. - Tastes like a hamburger.

- Oh, these little, uh, croque monsieurs are good.

- Uh, it's a ham-and-cheese sandwich.

- Mm, the smell of all of this is making me want to puke.

- What about one of those little, uh, chicken roulades?

- Those taste like nuggets, Brett.

- The chef has a Michelin star.

- In what? Making lunch for my kids?

- This is the third caterer Marilyn's found.

- Okay, no one's paying $500 to come to our gala

and eat fish sticks.

- Now I'm gonna hurl. - I feel dizzy.

- You're under a lot of stress. - Please, I'm fine.

- It's not easy selling your parents' house.

- [scoffs] Are you kidding?

I'm gonna make a killing off that commission.

- It's your entire childhood.

- Well, I'm a grown-up now.

- Besides, you can never really go back.

- Moving on...

Marilyn is flying in a James Beard Award winner

from Chicago.

- I have no idea what that is, but I'm always hungry.

- Tasting menu will be ready Wednesday.

- Now I'm dizzy. - Ooh.

Yeah, I got to a house full of infested kids coming over.

- And I have a new puppy. - [scoffs] Please.

- She has to go out every two hours,

and we haven't been sleeping.

- Can't you get a night nurse or something?

- For a dog? - [scoffs]

Maybe you should've had a baby.

- No, that would've been way worse.

- But then everyone would want to help.

Ugh, none of this.

[intriguing music]

* *

- Tell me everything.

- Oh, well, Doug's not here yet.

- No, I can't wait. I can't wait.

- Okay.

We wanted to tell you together.

- What is the news, Alice?

- It wasn't planned.

- Oh, stop it right now.

- Our family is growing.

- Oh, yes. Yes. [laughs]

- Oh! Here she is!

- Here is who?

[Gail whining]

- Our new baby, Gail.

- Gail? - [chuckles]

I told you she wasn't gonna find it funny.

- [laughs] We're gonna need a lot of help.

- What about doggie day care? - It's just so expensive.

- They're, like, strangers.

- Yeah, and we would much prefer her to be with family.

- Yeah.

Good practice for being a grammy one day.

- [chuckles] - Aw. [chuckles]

Got to get back to work. [smooches]

- Okay. Have a good day. - Thanks, baby.

- [chuckles] She likes you.

[door closes] - I know what you're up to.

- It would really mean a lot to your son.

- I'm not doing this.

- I just got him to forgive you.

[light tense music]

- This is blackmail.

* *

- You owe me.

* *

.

[gentle music]

* *

- Mm.

[door opens]

- Hello?

[footsteps approaching, door closes]

- Welcome home.

- Oh, my God. It's even better on the inside.

- We've driven past this house for years.

- Oh, do you live in the neighborhood?

- Always wanted to.

- Homes never come up for sale here.

- Well, this street's rich with history.

It's hard to let these houses go.

- The yard is huge. How big is it?

- Almost a full acre.

- Oh, it's perfect for a pool.

- Oh, honey, you can put in that smoker and barbecue pit

you've always wanted.

- Uh, I'm not sure you'd have the room.

- You said it was an acre.

- Yes, but it's mostly the amazing garden.

- Love the roses. - They've won awards.

- Oh, yeah, we'd love a pool more.

- Took the owner more than 25 years to grow that garden.

- Our kids can't swim in a garden.

[both chuckle]

[The Medium's "Good Ol' Days"]

* *

- This is my favorite room of the house.

- Cool little nook.

- Right?

Perfect for a young girl's afternoon tea parties

with stuffed animals.

- My kids are older.

- Oh, well, she can also cram for her AP bio test there.

And, hey, maybe even have her first wine cooler

with her best friend when her parents are sleeping.

- My daughter is married with two kids of her own.

- Oh, well, when they visit--

- Thinking this will be a workout room.

- * Remember the good ol' days *

- A living room to make new memories.

- What's up with this fireplace?

- Oh, majestic, isn't it?

Pewabic tile, original to the house.

- So we could, like, sell it if we chipped it out?

- Why would you want to do that?

- Because I'm thinking media center.

Could do surround sound, concession stand,

popcorn, candy.

Yeah, it'll be fly.

Right, Mom? [cell phone clicking, beeps]

- Whatever my son wants.

- Hey, how much can I get for that dank chandelier?

* *

- [sighs]

- The whole kitchen could use a facelift, really.

- I am not in love with the stone.

- It's got great bones, though. - Totally.

- Right?

Let's do this.

- I'm gonna need you to leave.

- I'm sorry? - This house isn't for you.

- Oh, but we want to put in an offer.

- Get out.

- Full asking. - Goodbye!

I said, go!

- Oh, my God. - Go!

Go!

Thank you!

You don't deserve this house!

- But it's one of the most desirable streets

in Grosse Pointe.

- And you had so many appointments.

- They all felt the house needed too much work.

- [sighs]

[intriguing music]

* *

- Hey, babe. How are the kids?

- Their dad's taking good care of them.

- See? I told you everything would work out.

- You're never wrong.

- Hey, and now we have the house to ourselves.

- [grunts]

No, you have the house to yourself.

- Where are you going? - Brett's.

- Why?

- Because I am going to stay there, too.

* *

- Like a slumber party?

- I'm not gonna abandon my sick children.

- Leaving them with their dad is hardly abandonment.

- One sick child is a lot of work.

Two is a pandemic.

- Where are you gonna sleep? - I don't know.

- Like, in his bed?

- That's what you're worried about?

- It just feels weird, okay?

- You can't have it both ways. - I'm just saying--

- No, you cannot ask me to take the kids away

and then control how I do it. - Mel--

- Parenting is more than just, like, throwing a football

and killing it on the dance floor.

- Who took them fishing?

- It's the things that you don't want to do

that make you their dad.

- I know that. - Do you?

- Yes. - Just--you can't leave.

The rental on the heist movie that we were watching,

it expires tonight.

- I finished it.

They get caught.

[plucky music]

* *

- Well, this is a new look.

- Coach says I need to condition more.

- Oh. - Yeah.

- Uh, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

I wasn't done. Wait! Wait!

Hold on!

I know you can hear me!

I'm not, like, someone that can run!

Would you hold up? - Get out of my way.

- Will you stop fitnessing for a second?

[sighs] - You're not my mom, okay?

- I know!

I know.

I just--I just wanted to congratulate you.

- I don't need anything from you.

- Will you just open it?

- [sighs]

- [breathing heavily]

I already have a mitt. - Not like this one.

- Yeah, 'cause it's, like, a hundred years old.

- It was your dad's.

- Why do you keep doing this to me?

- What do you mean?

- You already gave me up.

- Yeah. I m-made a mistake.

- No, it was the right thing to do.

- What?

- But you didn't have to come back.

- Yeah, I chose to.

- That's what's so messed up.

All of this was your choice, not mine.

- I'm sorry.

- And now you've-- you've put all of this on me,

and now I've got to live with it forever.

- Yeah.

Well, this is why I'm not a real mom.

I don't know how to handle this kind of stuff!

- I wish I never knew any of this.

- I'll just go, okay?

This isn't-- this isn't what I wanted.

[exhales deeply] - You okay?

- Oh, it can't be healthy for you guys to run this much.

- Maybe you should just sit down.

- I'll be fine! I just got to--

[concerned chatter]

- Are you faking it right now?

Oh, man.

.

- I swear there was cough medicine here.

- Do you want me to run out and get some?

- Mommy, I don't feel good. - I know, sweetie.

- Check the drawers. - Okay.

Oh, my God, it's a mess in here.

- Oh, sorry. I'm between butlers.

- Daddy, my head hurts. - Yeah, coming, buddy!

- Well, it's just so disorganized.

- I have a system.

- What, like, total chaos?

- If you're gonna be here, it can't be like we were.

- You used to store weird things in the spice rack.

- [chuckles]

Ahh.

Right next to the oregano. [chuckles]

- Makes perfect sense. - Ha ha.

[La Femme's "Disconnexion"]

* *

[dog whining]

- Shut up.

* *

- [whispering] Patty, Gail needs to pee-pee.

[whining continues]

* *

- [speaking French]

* *

- Oh, you forgot something.

If you don't write down her potties,

we can't get on a schedule.

* *

- Did you get the Popsicles? [door closes]

- Got the last box.

How are the fevers? - Sky high.

- Ugh.

* *

- You need some coffee? [Gail whining]

- I already had four cups.

- Oh, good morning.

- Hey, okay, here.

- Oh. Um...

oh, somebody's had an accident.

- Oh.

- [groans] This is Hermès.

- Still need to log it. - All right, give it to me.

Okay, okay, I got it. - Thanks.

- Go. Go. Go.

- Bye.

- Bye.

[door closes]

- [sighs]

- Look what I found with the olive oil.

- [chuckles] Both liquids.

- [chuckles] Yeah.

No, I-I get the system now, but really, Goldschlager?

- Oh, yeah, that's what happens when you match with someone

named Coco on the dating apps.

- What grade was she in? - Oh, God.

It's not that bad.

- Mm. - Come on.

Since when have you turned down something made of gold?

- Okay, I'm not actually that person.

- Low-hanging fruit. I'm sorry.

[laughs]

- God, I don't remember parenting being this hard.

- Well, what about when Zach had croup?

- Mm. Was that when he was, like, two?

- Yeah, we had to keep taking him outside

so he could breathe, and it was, like, 20 below.

- Did it work? - [chuckles] Yeah.

But it was terrifying.

- I literally have no memory of that.

- Well, come on, the doctor was worried

he was gonna have to go to the hospital.

- Brett, I wasn't there.

- Oh, it was during law school.

You could have been at the library or something.

- Yeah.

I guess I wasn't around much.

- Mm. But you are now.

[pensive music]

* *

- Ahh.

* *

- [groaning softly]

- How'd you know I was here?

- Apparently, I'm still your emergency contact.

- Oh, that says a lot about me, I guess.

- Sorry I'm late. I was in London.

- Says a lot about you.

- Needed to pick up my mail anyway.

So how's the patient? - They don't know what's wrong.

- Oh.

You might be dying. [chuckles]

- What if you're all I have?

- Would that be so bad?

- It's not the same as family. - Now I'm offended.

- You don't get offended. - True.

- You know what I mean.

- Heard that son of yours called the ambulance.

- [inhales deeply]

What else was he supposed to do?

[door closes]

- Good morning, Ms. Bradley. - Oh, God.

How bad is it?

[dance music playing in distance]

[gagging]

* *

- [retching]

[breathing heavily]

[grunts]

[toilet flushes]

[sighs]

[exhales deeply]

[toilet flushes]

[music continues in background]

* *

- How far along are you?

- I just had one too many smoked-salmon cones.

- I saw you pour your champagne into a plant.

- I'm just trying to pace myself.

- Whose is it?

* *

- I--

- Joel's?

- I'm not seeing your husband anymore.

- That's not what I asked.

- Please don't tell him.

- I'm not looking, but we got cars around the corner, Misty.

- Coming. [door closes]

- Congrats on another kid you don't deserve.

[door opens, closes]

[dramatic music]

.

- Love all the natural light.

- South-facing windows,

so you get sunrises and sunsets.

- Don't always find that in these older estates.

- Huh.

What do you think about the fireplace?

- Pewabic tile? Are you kidding me?

- Landscaping out back might need some updating.

- Not with those roses.

- And how old did you say your daughters were?

- Four and eight.

- Oh.

It really feels like this house should be yours.

- Do have one stipulation, though.

- What is it?

She's giving us 10% over asking.

- Why? - To take it off the market.

All cash, no escrow.

- Oh, that's fantastic. - Look at that.

You'll have enough to build a humidor

for all your stinky cigars.

- And you'll have enough

to constantly replace all your rugs.

- I won't have to 'cause no one will constantly forget

to take their shoes off.

- Guys, you'll both have more than enough to stay as far away

from each other as possible.

- This calls for a toast.

- We're so proud of you, honey.

- You done good, little girl, real good. [laughs]

- At least she seems to love the house as much as we did.

- Buyer's name seems familiar.

- Isn't that Gus and Natalie's daughter from the club?

- Who are they?

- Her father is one of the biggest commercial developers

in the state.

- Wait, you mean, like, uh, condos and apartments?

- No wonder she wants the house as is.

- She's gonna tear it down.

[cork pops] - [gasps]

- To fresh starts.

[liquid fizzing, splattering]

[somber music]

[Gail whining] - Yeah, who's a good pup?

[smooches] Yeah.

Yeah, who's a good girl? [chuckles]

* *

[gunfire and groaning on TV] - No, you're too good.

- You better run, you brain muncher.

Got him! - Great, okay, I'm dead.

Awesome. Thanks.

[screaming on TV] Try now. Hey.

- [laughs]

- Turns out Mom's a total psycho.

- Did the landlord come by?

- If he did, we didn't hear him.

- Yeah, hey, we're saving civilization here.

- Yeah.

Oh, hey. Hey.

Did somebody have a good walkie?

Oh, yes, you did. - He...

he knows about the dog.

- How did he find out about Gail?

- Good question.

- [sighs] Okay.

I'll head down there and see if seeing this cute little face

can't change his mind. - Really?

- Yeah. - Thank you.

[gunfire on TV]

- What's the problem?

- We're not supposed to have dogs.

- Oh.

[screaming on TV]

- How did he know, Patty?

- Maybe he saw the poop bags in your trash.

- Why would he be going through our trash?

- Oh, you know what?

Make sure you write that last one down, by the way.

[gunfire continues]

[creature grunts]

Hey. I was finishing that level.

- We had Molly for seven years.

- So? - And the landlord never knew.

- Okay.

- Never went through our trash, never snooped through anything

because he never even suspected we had a dog.

- Well, you got lucky, then.

- What did you do, Patty?

- Oh, no. No, no, no. No. No.

Don't be ridiculous. No.

- This is a whole new level even for you.

- Look who's talking?

Is this how you thank me, hmm?

I have lost sleep.

I have gone above and beyond just to help you out.

- It's not like you want to. - It's just a dog, Alice.

- Not to me.

- You know what the crazy part is?

You don't want a baby, but you are willing

to put in twice the effort, twice the work,

just for some stupid pet.

- She is way more than just a pet!

- Oh, right, your generation-- you put them in strollers.

You--you bring them into restaurants.

You buy them seats on airplanes.

- She is my baby. - She's an animal!

[sighs]

You know...

I really thought you would come to your senses after Molly.

[dramatic music]

- What is that supposed to mean?

- As long as you have a dog, I'll never have a grandchild.

* *

[door opens, closes]

[door opens] - Their fevers broke.

- [gasps] - Oh. Oh, my God.

[giggles] I-I'm so sorry. The door was unlocked.

- It's fine. - I didn't see anything.

- I'll be out in a minute. - I'm going. Take your time.

- Oh, my God.

- I am so sorry.

- Well, it's not like you haven't seen

any of this before.

- It's just the last couple nights felt so normal.

- Yeah, the kids, all of us together again.

- It's like I never left.

- Well, I got a pretty good handle on everything now, so...

- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah.

No more fevers.

Kids can go back to school tomorrow.

- W-well, I should help you clean up.

- Uh, this is cleaned up.

- Oh, my God.

Connor would go crazy if our kitchen looked like this.

- You know he's gonna make you quarantine

when you get back home.

- Oh, he's gonna make me sleep in the car.

- [laughs]

- Um...

he's not a good dude, Melissa.

* *

- You are.

- [sighs] Uh--

uh, it's totally cool if you want to go.

[deary's "Fairground"]

* *

- What if I don't want to go?

- * Before the storm *

* Hide in glass *

* In glass *

* In glass *

[phone vibrating] - Oh, you should probably...

- Yeah. - Get that.

- Sorry. Um...

Hey, babe.

.

- [sniffles]

[Brittle Stars' "Souvenir"]

* *

[sniffles]

* *

- * It's my direction *

* It's my proposal *

* It's so hard *

* It's leading me astray *

* *

* My obsession is my creation *

* You'll understand *

- We might have to hire someone for the attic.

I don't think we ever threw anything away.

- What was this?

- Uh, Christmas Eve, maybe.

You look about nine.

- I mean...

the looks on your faces,

the smiles.

- We were excited for Santa.

- Was it all a lie?

- Oh, honey.

- How can you throw 40 years away?

- It doesn't erase what your mother and I had.

- Did you even try to fix it? - Of course I did.

- Therapy, date nights. - All of it, baby.

- Tucker and I figured it out.

- This isn't a rough patch.

It's the end of the road.

- But how are you so sure?

- The--the glue,

the stuff that keeps you together when you're younger...

it just lost its bond as we got older.

- But... [sniffles]

Nothing's ever gonna be perfect.

- Let's be real.

I got more yesterdays than tomorrows.

- Dad, that's dark. - [sighs]

I'm not looking for perfect, baby.

I just want to be happy.

Your mom, too.

- [whimpers]

- I just wish there was something I could have done.

- None of this is your fault.

- Ugh, that's what you're supposed to tell your kids.

- Because it's true.

- But I don't want two Christmases.

- Cathy, I'm giving you my Tupperware

'cause I noticed some of your lids were stained.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Sweetheart, what happened?

- Cathy's having big feelings.

* *

- It's so unfair.

How can they just jack our rent up out of nowhere?

- Um, they can when we get a dog out of nowhere.

[gunshots and screams on TV]

- The rescue said, um, we can take her back anytime.

- [scoffs]

I can't believe we're a home a dog needs to be rescued from.

- Well...

maybe we'll win the lottery and get her back.

- How could someone in our building

have a problem with such a cute puppy?

- Unless it's not someone in our building.

- Okay, that makes even less sense.

- It was just an anonymous phone call

to the rental company, right?

- Yeah, so?

- It could be anyone.

- [groans softly]

- [smooching] - Hey, puppy...

And the worst part is,

it really felt like Gail was my dog, too.

[Gail whining]

Mm.

- Just please don't get sucked

back into the gaming life again.

- I just need to beat the high score,

then I'm throwing it away!

- Aren't you already the highest score?

- I was.

Then my mom beat me the other night.

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

Turns out she's a lucky shot.

[gunfire on TV]

- Maybe it's not just luck.

- [laughs] Right.

I mean, she could just really hate zombies.

[screaming and gunfire on TV]

.

[plucky music]

- Doug's dad gave him the gun,

which means Patty had access to it.

- Okay.

- Plus, she told me I'd never give her a grandchild

as long as I had a dog? - Uh-huh.

- And when you think of all the insane things she has done,

shooting a dog actually fits the profile.

- Hmm.

- She got rid of Gail.

Maybe she also got rid of Molly.

[mouth full] Am I being crazy?

- Yeah. - 100.

- But...

it's a good crazy.

- The last time I went down this road,

I got fired and almost divorced.

- Yeah, but that was bonkers, and we just couldn't tell you.

- I cannot lose my mind again over some wild hunch.

- You don't have to.

- What do you mean?

- You still have the gun, right?

- Yeah. - And the bullet?

- Mm-hmm. - Then all we need is Tucker

to call his old FBI buddies, and they'll run tests.

- I don't know.

- Don't you want to know the truth?

- I'm not sure my marriage could handle it.

* *

But this shrimp toast is bussin'.

- At least we found our chef.

- Hmm. - Mm.

[gags, groans]

[Nation of Language's "Tournament"]

- * And that's fine *

* I'm wasting away *

* I took the long road home *

* And it never paid off for me *

* *

[billiard balls clacking]

* As I'm walking around the city... *

- Let's make this quick. So what do you got?

- Some real dirt on Brett. - What'd he do?

* *

- Your wife.

- * 'Cause I've been waiting for a long, long time *

* *

* Watching *

* I've been waiting for a long, long time *

* *

* 'Cause I've been waiting for a long, long time *

* *

* Yeah, yeah, yeah *

* Watching *

* And I've been waiting for a long, long time *

* *

* Long time *

[knock at door]

- [chuckles]

- Hey.

- Hey. [sliding door closes]

- Just wanted to make sure you didn't die.

- [chuckles]

Thanks for calling the ambulance.

- Yeah. I, uh--I followed behind in your car.

- That must have been traumatic.

- Made me want to try harder. - Yeah.

These moments really show us that life is short, right?

- Actually, just made me want to earn a fat stack

so I could buy a Porsche.

- Oh, okay. [both chuckle]

Glad something good came out of it.

- So, are you...

dying or something?

- Oh, I just...

need to stop mixing booze and diet pills.

- Okay.

[sighs]

What was my dad like?

- Uh, you know that guy who's, like...

super smart and doesn't even have to try,

everyone wants to be like him?

- I guess.

- Your dad was the opposite.

- So what? He's, like, a loser?

- He never lived up to his potential.

But I have a feeling that you will.

- Well, um...

I'm really glad that you're not dead.

- Oh, um...

Can I ask how your other dad is doing?

- He's not sleeping on the couch anymore.

- Oh.

Good.

- He left my mom.

[soft tense music]

* *

- So, yeah, everything has a season.

And even though you know the next one's coming...

* *

You never quite know how hard it's gonna hit.

[walkie-talkie beeps]

- What's the ETA on the black Cadillac?

Everyone's trying to get out of here.

- On it.

* *

What the hell are you doing? - We got to talk, lady.

- You do not want to be alone with me right now.

- I'll take my chances.

- Your funeral.

- Because let's face it, Mother Nature's a bitch.

And then you die.

[engine revs]

[dramatic music]

* *

- [screams]