Original subtitles

Hold it, boys, hold it

Before we get out, let's remember the agreement

Set your brakes, turn your lights off

and take your keys with you if you wish

Now, one hour

It is now 11:00 p.m

One hour, then we all leave quietly

no matter how much money you've won

or how many girls you've met

I repeat for the record, one hour

Has there ever been such a college boy before?

So anxious to get back to his studies

that the thought of winning $10,000

at a crap table merely disgusts him

It could be that girl, too

Who's that?

That heavenly girl

What does he care

about girls when he can shack up with his law books?

One hour

Not what you'd call

an interesting conversationalist, is he?

Your old daddy flew one of those in the war, son

And was that how you were killed in action, sir?

Yes, indeed

I don't want to bother you, boys

but it is now 11:03

Yeah, man, let's go where the money is

Yeah, man

Is this the place where the people live

who want to give us all this money?

This must be the place

This is my infallible roulette system

Now, he has a system

Well, if you've got a system

you might as well get it out of your system

That's what I always say

And you know, he always does say that

Sir, I wonder if you'd arrange

to have a Brink's armored car

at the side door in about an hour?

I expect to be making a gold shipment about then

We're his male nurses

Ready?

ls everybody all right?

Come on, time to make a million

Right, last round

Five and 10

Excuse me

Dear, are you serious?

No it looks strange

Here they go, lucky

On the right Hold 'em off

He hit the top Oh yeah

Here they go Deal me

Is that right?

Well, pay me double, you in?

Deal a round

You got seven, now 37

What's going around there?

Madam, would you give up this sinful life of gambling

if the right man came along?

I might, yes

Excuse me

How's the play?

I put it down, they pick it up

Maybe you ain't putting it down in the right place

That could explain it

Aren't you playing?

Well, I'd like to

but I just get a nosebleed every time

I see that happening to my money

Does it bother you when it's my money that's going?

No, not as long as you can assure me you got plenty more

One red

Do you mind my standing here?

I haven't called for a guard, have I?

No, they just get in the way

All right, bub, six you want now, six you in

Jackpot

Deal a round

R152, the giant jackpot, $50, a bonus, R152

Good luck to you, sir

You must lead a clean life

Yeah, and up until now it's been driving me crazy

21 red

I know this system is infallible

because I worked it out myself

Do you suppose I could be reading it wrong?

Deal me another hand

Oh five, five's enough for mine

On the slots

I win

Now I can buy that atom-powered

steam shovel I've always wanted

With that?

And of course it was completely ridiculous

I didn't know she was a countess

8 and three

So it was right after that my poor old gray-haired mother

said to me, she said, Brick, son

I just know you're gonna be terribly attractive to women

And I do so hope you're not going to be a beast about it

Tell me, have you been a beast about it?

Well, certainly

What did my poor old gray-haired mother know about fun?

It is now 11:19

I don't like to wear a watch

I hired him to follow me around

and tell me what time it is

All right, here we come now

- 25 red - Hit me

What's going down there?

Hit twice, there

Out of the way

If you don't live here, get out of the way

You let me know

Well, this is it

Didn't you explain to him

that your system was infallible?

I knew there was someone I forgot to tell

Well, I've got to cash a check

You know, only someone whose father owned an oil company

could afford that system

You've always hated me

just because my family has money, haven't you?

No, I have a lot better reasons than that

Shew

Place your bets, please

ladies and gentlemen

Boys, it is now 11:21

The old lamplighter

Down the roll, well it looks good

Do you see that?

Nine red, would appear

What, that mirror?

You know what that's for?

Yeah, so tall Texans can see to comb their hair

Those are observation posts

Guards sit up there and keep an eye on things

Alright, gentlemen

six you wanted, six you in

Four, too, please

- Yes, 700, seven - Well we have

Pardon me

You're on five

I'm writing a new telephone book

and I'd like to include your name and number

Eight, six and out

Shew

I don't know if he told you

but he's only 13 years old

Be gone, son

I am the oldest 13 you'll ever run into

They're cute

16, see

Hold it off

I don't understand

I understand, I know what it is

- Oh I don't know - You don't understand?

Tell me

Will you pardon me, please?

Excuse me

I'll need one of those

when my system starts working

By then you'll be too old to push it

Turn to your left side.

Can you handle that for me?

Don't make me have to shoot

How would you like it, sir?

Any particular denomination?

Any denomination will do

Cashier number three

Guy in a gray suit and gray hat

Two guys backing him up

The gun's in the magazine he's holding

Take two

The dice is coming right now

coming right out on the old come out roll

Seven wins

Come on honey, you win

You win on the seven

Just hand us that magazine

What magazine, what's going on here?

Yeah, what's going on?

Take it easy and no one'll get hurt

Hand me that check, please

$5,000 or I'll blow your head off

Okay, friend, let's not disturb the customers

- On five - Where is this?

Five in the house

You're a mad man

I win

I usual deal low nine

Under nine

Hey, wait a minute

who's in charge here? Who's asking?

I'm asking

What are you arresting them for?

These characters have flipped, Al

He's behind in his quota for the night

Shut up, both of you

I asked you why you were arresting them

Who are you?

A friend of theirs

We're on our way back

to Midwestern University from summer jobs

We stopped in here to have a drink and a few laughs

Well?

Tell him the truth

Now there's a real democratic guy

He hates everybody

Look, I told you we were students

Yeah, I'm not kidding

We don't have anything to do with him

All right, show them your last year's students' cards

I never saw them before

Sorry, boys, one of those things

What happened in there?

The man tried a real crazy stunt

Attempted robbery, he means

Who would be crazy enough to try and rob Harold's place?

Are you kidding?

Cause that's where the money is

10,000 people a day gamble in there

Every now and then, some wise Joe figures a smart angle

It'd be easier to knock off Fort Knox

There's no way it could be done

Well, gentlemen

Dad, you missed out on all the fun

I did not

I would like to make one of my deathless remarks now

There may be some things better than sex

some worse, but there's nothing quite like it

That was kind of a deathless remark at that

It is now 10 minutes to 12:00

or don't you care anymore?

Well, let's hop in the old car

drive back to the old college

dig into those old studies

and start taking out

those old, old, old college gals again

You with me?

Yeah, but I wish everybody didn't know it

♪ Kindly pass the butter Mabel ♪

♪ You will find it over there ♪

♪ In the corner of each patty ♪

♪ You will find a dark brown hair ♪

♪ Bum, brum, buh, boom, boom ♪

That's a song?

Sure, it's an excerpt from Beethoven's 12th

Beethoven must have written that one

underwater with broken pencils

Broken fingers, where are we anyway?

Now he wants to know where he is

Kansas some place

300 miles to go

What are you loafing for?

85 miles an hour is loafing?

Anything going 85 miles an hour is a guided missile

Are you still worrying about getting back to Kay?

Now what has she got?

I'll tell you what she's got

Hold it, don't tell him, don't tell him

Why?

I don't want him to know

Hey, about that cop in Reno

saying you couldn't rob Harold's Club

What did he mean it couldn't be done?

beats me

Anything can be done

Of course it could be done

♪ Kindly pass the butter Mabel ♪

♪ You will find it over there ♪

♪ In the corner of each patty ♪

♪ You will find a dark brown hair ♪

Good old Lincoln Hall

Be safe

Hats off, freshman

What's your name, boy?

It's Spieglebauer, sir, Francis Spieglebauer

I see, well, son, men have overcome

greater handicaps than that

But I have loose teeth, you see

I think I'll just call you Spiegy, okay?

Good lad

Now hear this, Spiegy

Every year we choose a freshman

to help us with a few chores we have to have done

Since the work sort of piled up last year

they all thought we'd get two freshmen this year

but you look like you could do the work of two men

Hat on, Spiegy

Now first, in there is some of our luggage

Suitcases, heavy articles

In there is where we live

Your job is to transport one inside the other, understand?

Are you sure I have to do this?

Yes, I'm sure, are you sure?

I'm sure

Well, what I mean is

in the booklet that the university sent me

they said they didn't haze freshmen here anymore

That's right, Spiegy

You see, the fellows who wrote the booklet

don't haze freshmen here anymore

On

See?

Carry on, Spiegy

The keys, Spiegy

To work, Spiegy

Shew

It's wonderful to hear your voice again, Kay

No, I mean it

Don't you think he'd be embarrassed

to talk like that in front of us?

Just wait a minute

No, I'm not embarrassed

But if a couple of characters I know

don't stop listening in

I may be crowded into a little violence

Ruffian

Hm, yeah, the Katzenjammer Kids, honey

they're fine, fine

A little more mentally retarded perhaps, but fine

Yeah, surprise?

Well, that makes me nervous

Yeah, I wanted everything

just exactly the way it was when I left

Come on, tell me about it

Look at him

See how happy he is?

Why, just a few short hours ago

he didn't know a soul in this college

and now he has friends

I'm telling you, it makes a man appreciate

the American educational system

Spiegy, you see what a deep thinker he is?

You should feel privileged

to know a man who thinks that deeply

Can I ask a question?

Why not?

Why not spoil him just a little, go ahead

Well, the guys in the next room

said that Al and Brick were in Korea together

So?

Well, they said that Brick saved Al's life

So?

They said that Brick got a medal

and a bad head wound doing it

So?

Well, so nothing

That's what the guys in the next room said

Don't pay any attention to them

They're drunk most of the time

Were you two guys in Korea?

What's that?

I said, were you two in Korea?

Are you questioning our patriotism?

Why, no, I

I suppose you think we wouldn't have been there

if it hadn't been for our liver conditions

I suppose you think it's fun

to have a liver condition

and never get to go to any wars with the rest of the guys?

Why, I didn't mean anything, I

You just better take it easy

and watch who you call yellow from now on

- Whom - Yeah, whom

I didn't call whom yellow, I

Get on with your work, Spiegy

Shew

How's Kay?

She's got a surprise for me

Maybe she's turned into a boy

That girl?

Wants me to meet her at the Campus Club tonight

Wonder what that could mean

Any number of things

and none of them too good from your standpoint

What are you talking about?

Now I'm supposed to know what I'm talking about

Oh, it would ruin all your charm

Spiegy, don't just stand there

Move, boy, move

♪ I don't stay home anymore if there's somewhere to go ♪

♪ I just go along for the ride ♪

♪ They call me the life of the party ♪

♪ They don't know that I'm crying inside ♪

♪ If there's a dance or a show ♪

♪ You'll find me around ♪

♪ Always laughing it up with the crowd ♪

♪ They call me the life of the party ♪

♪ But my poor heart is crying out loud ♪

♪ I'm making new trends and seeing New People ♪

♪ Doing the town until three ♪

♪ It's all I can do ♪

♪ Not to think about you ♪

♪ Though I know you're not thinking of me ♪

♪ So ['ll dance every night ♪

♪ And I'll play every game ♪

♪ I'm the last one to say my goodbye ♪

♪ This end of the life of the party ♪

♪ Goes home all alone to cry ♪

I don't get it

How did this happen?

When we left, she was working in a department store

This must be the surprise

Kay

Welcome home, boys

Hello, Kay

I think you gentlemen made a mistake

Your table's over there

He's ashamed of us

He wishes we were dead

That's right

I'll be back in a minute

I want to get out of this singing dress

And you know, she's right

That dress actually does sing

Why don't you guys go ahead and order

I want to talk to Kay privately

What's with you?

You on a diet or something?

Diet?

That's at least 2,500 calories he's following

Hey, when did all this happen?

About two weeks ago

It began as a joke

Not that it hasn't gone right on being that

A bunch of us came in one night

and someone dared me to get up and sing

So you know me

I don't know whether I know you or not

The girl I knew couldn't sing a note

Nothing's changed

It's just that the management thinks I can

and they're willing to pay for their opinions

Now you tell me, how was the summer?

I wrote you

There has never been such a long, long summer

Well, I'm glad to see that all the time

you were wasting away for me

you weren't forgetting to eat

some of those cows you were punching

Same old story, huh?

You just won't believe anything I tell you about how I feel

Don't you want me to feel the way I do?

I'd tell you if I didn't

I know that, so what is it?

Al, I grew up in this town

I've been dating college boys

since I was old enough to be noticed by them

Well, that, I agree, must have been horrible

It's no trick for a girl

to be busy in a college town

And these weren't cheap little liars, Al

They meant it, I guess

But there's something about being away to college

makes for deep and lasting love affairs

which are forgotten the minute graduation's over

You know, you've had a real rough life

and I wish there was some way I could make it up to you

Okay, but you asked me for the reason

I couldn't take you too seriously

And you haven't answered me yet

Look, this isn't my first trip away from home

and it's only technical that

I'm one of the boola-boola boys at all

You're not all that old

No, but I'm all that experienced

that I know the difference

between a few early fumblings with a girl

and something that's nice and lasting

that's happened to me

It's time you begin realizing

that I know the difference

This summer, if anything, has only made you more lovable

and willing to admit it

Would you care to dance?

No, but it's part of my duties here

Whatever will the other B-girls think

That you've finally gotten a live one

Want a light?

I'm a stranger in town

Can you direct me to your house?

Did you lose the address?

Why, I was wrestling cows all summer

and my writing hand got all cramped up

Oh, I see, how are the cows out West?

they're, you mean the cows?

Look, I guess I must have been all crossed up last spring

I thought you and I were a big, hot, breathless item

then not even a card this summer

Well, Jean, I meant to call you, I really did

Oh, fine, now I feel much better

How could you possibly feel any better, hm?

Real cozy

Look, buddy, why don't you go back to your table

before somebody eats up your minimum?

She happens to belong with me, pal

Only in spirit, son

You get back inside

I know all about you, pal, a real war hero

One of the fruit salad boys

Well, how do you like your beatings, huh?

Standing up or on the ground?

Don't crowd me, Mac

You'd better leave it lay, junior

Brick, Brick

Get him out of here, fast

I'll kill that

Brick, Brick, Brick

It's me, Al, Al

Come on, Brick, I'll take you home

Come on

Here, Brick

Listen to me, Brick

You know, it might not be a bad idea

going back to the vets hospital to check

I'm not going back there, Al

- Just a check - I'm not going back

I don't want any part of that cage

They were only trying to help you

Treat you like an animal

Like something under a rock

All the time telling you you're psycho

A lot of guys went through shock like you did

Look, Al, I'm okay, I'm okay

Sure, sure, you're okay

You're in great shape

But it still wouldn't hurt to have a check-up

Look, lay off of me, will you?

You want to get rid of me?

What's the matter?

You tired of having me hanging on your back?

Okay, I'll get out of here, I'll get out now

You're not going anywhere

They told you to call, didn't they, huh?

Give us a call, Captain, in case 3742

starts going off his rocker again

I'm not making any calls

That for sure?

Sure

You know, you really could have hurt that kid at the club

I know

What do you think is going to happen to you if you

be sensible, Brick

Go over and have a talk with the doc

Look, Al, I'm a lot better now

This isn't going to happen again

I just had a couple of drinks too many, that's all

[Al] Sure, that's what you said up in

San Francisco last year with that cab driver

Yeah, but, Al, these things take time

That's all I need. Just a little time

Sure

If those doctors hear about tonight

it's going to sound a lot worse than it was

[Al] They won't hear about it

You won't say anything, Al?

No, I won't say anything, I promise

Brick, you're gonna have to watch yourself

I know

It'll work out, it'll work out

Well, this is the last time

I'm going to double date with you

You know she danced like 7 miles of unpaved road?

Spiegy's got better taste than you have

boy, what's happening to me?

How could you trap me like this?

What's the matter with Brick?

Nothing a good night's sleep won't cure

Well, that's the trouble with liquor

You take one drink and it makes a new man out of you

Then the new man has to have a drink, too

Quote and unquote

You can tell me your troubles

How's Brick?

Brick?

Oh, he's fine, fine

Why?

One of the men at the club said he ought to be put away

The guy that said that ought to be put away, Brick's okay

Like last night?

Well, he had one too many

Then how come you're so, so quiet today?

Well, since you brought it up, I'll tell you

It all started about the time I met you

Others have complained about that before

What are the symptoms?

Well, studying that used to take me one hour

now takes me half the night

In the middle of a law lecture

I suddenly find I'm repeating

the marriage ceremony to myself

Now, would you say this is significant?

No, frightening is the word I'd use

You know, I've been places

where if you didn't make up your mind in a hurry

you never got a second chance

Honey, you're not in Korea anymore

Nobody's gonna drop a bomb on you now

I'd better do something

What do you want to do, Al?

Get married

Now?

Yesterday would have been better

What's the big rush?

What's the matter with being sure of ourselves?

I'm so sure of myself now, I'm nearly dead from it

I guess that's the roadblock, you're not

I may look like the blonde bombshell

who's been everyplace, and done everything, but I'm not

And all these big emotions are wonderful

But they just kind of scare me, too

Well, look, why don't you just relax, huh?

I'm like you, I can't

I want to get married today just as much as you do

But then when I stop to think about it

I get so scared, I just want to run

What's the good word?

There aren't any good words

They don't make good words the way they used to

Don't just stand there, Spiegy

Run around, do something

I don't want your muscles to stiffen up

Tear on over and get Cokes for everybody, Spiegy

I tell you, that boy's getting lazy

Why, he had the audacity to ask me

to brush my own teeth this morning

They don't make freshmen the way they used to

No, they've even quit trying

Hi, Brick

Are you coming

to our Halloween dance tonight, Brick?

Probably not

It's going to be one of the

best dances of the year

Sweetheart, let me tell you something

I wonder if now is the time

when any of us should be dancing

when we don't know if Little Orphan Annie

is ever going to find Daddy Warbucks

She's just got to

I know, I know

Maybe one of your own would taste better

No, it's not that

I'm suffering from something

I think it's the edges-off-of-everything blues.

Maybe you should organize a panty raid

No, no, it goes deeper than that

I don't want to get drunk

I'm sick of being sober

I've seen both movies in town

It's the mid-semester whim-whams

What you need is a nice girl

Child, what I need has got nothing to do with nice girls

I know what Brick means, I've got it myself

Bored with classes that have just begun

and notes I haven't taken yet

Bored with being in a place

that's run by thinkers and not doers

I come from a family that does things

Well, they can afford to

A family that does things first

That's what I need in my life, a big first

You guys ever hear of a man named Schliemann?

Sure, played first base for the Giants

and later invented a plastic breakfast food

He dug up the ancient city of Troy in Greece

Hey, what a cat, to dig Troy

That was a first, get my point?

Well, I couldn't hope to do that

And that's what we've got to think of

to pull ourselves out of the swamp

To be first at something

Like the guy who flew under the London Bridge

Characters who stole the Stone of Scone in England

Just like Plinehouser

Who was Plinehouser?

Well, just the first guy

to be called Plinehouser, that's all

He's right, though, this boy's got a point

Everybody's got a headache today

We've living in the aspirin age

It's really very simple, Mr. Cruikshank

- Now wait a minute - Mind if I file these?

Help yourself

You bet me $5 I can't do what?

It's a very simple bet

Now you're sitting right here where I'm sitting

Follow me?

I pour a glass of water on the floor, right here

You got a knife in your hands

A knife?

Now, I'll bet you five bucks

that I can dry up the water

before you stab me on the hands with the knife

All right, who's got a knife?

[Roy] Are these regular issue for law students?

I've been getting into a lot of strange closets lately

Dangerous moths

Now, you sit right where I was sitting

Now, remember, 5 bucks if I dry up the water

before you stab my hands

Spiegy, are you sure?

I mean, the blood

I'm sure, now you ready?

One, two, three

They grow up fast these days

Pay me

I'll bet you $5 that you never get the $5 I owe you

And having won that bet, we're even

so quit worrying about money and get to work

Something you invented?

[Tape Recorder] Glad to meet you, mister

Hope I don't have to kill you

Special research

What for, what's My Crime?

Remember what that cop said in Harold's Club

when we got involved in that hold-up?

He said there's no way it could be done

He should only know

You mean you've been thinking about it all this time?

I've worked out a plan how to rob Harold's Club

of a million dollars, maybe more

How much time you figure on researching our penal system?

When I say a plan

I mean one where you'd walk away free and clear

You know what bitsy brain's doing now?

Last year he planned to drain Foster's Lake

and collect all the pennies that had been thrown there

for the last 130 years

He figured it would amount to over $70,000

A man is never appreciated in his own century

Yeah, well, maybe when you get out of prison

in the next one, you'll be with people

that understand your language

You really think you could knock off Harold's Club?

A joint that's open 24 hours a day

seven days a week, 52 weeks out of the year

with over 1,000 people in it every second

I do

The main cash vault is right in the middle

of the floor of the gambling room

It looks like the Rock of Gibraltar

and opens like the Panama Canal

It has two doors, both steel-barred

and one doesn't open until the other's closed

Oh, great, that's a cinch

All you need is a hairpin and a toy hammer, huh?

I've got that all worked out

The only thing left I've got to figure

is how to leave Reno without a trace

This boy's got a little Dillinger blood in him

This boy has the spirit of adventure in his heart

You really think you could do it?

Oh, I could do it all right

The question is, would I do it?

Of course, I wouldn't keep the money if I did

Now he's a communist, he hates money

He's a crazy, mixed-up rich kid

And they're the worst kind, you know

Okay, Mr. First, what's the gimmick?

I wouldn't mind being first with a million bucks myself

You louse this deal, Jack

I'll gut you and shoot my way out of here

It's all done with psychology

A simple and basic motivation, fear, gentlemen

In this case, worth one million dollars

Gee, a million bucks

Well, I wouldn't be afraid

I'd be petrified

This must be the place where they rehearsed Tobacco Road

Now, why would he want a trailer?

Well, to transport his old money

to the scrap heap, perhaps

Or to take his old girlfriends in

for a retread job, perhaps?

I bought both the car and the trailer

and I did it without leaving a single trace

This is desirable?

Ah, I used a fictitious name

and bought them across the state line

from the smiling Dutchman

Who must be laughing out loud after this deal

You're sure you didn't steal it?

Does this look like I stole it?

How can I think when I'm blinded?

His folks must have clipped a coupon last night

or sold a state

Well, it was just a small one

Rhode Island, wasn't it, Ronnie?

Why, it's a perfect set-up

One guy drives, the others hide inside, out of sight

and no one can trace it back

According to the law I've studied

it's a misdemeanor to ride in a trailer

when it is in motion

You think a couple of misdemeanors is gonna bother Ronnie?

He's only interested in felonies

Yeah, but you're still going to have to stop

for gas, oil and water

Everything you need, you carry in the trailer

Gasoline, drinking water, canned foods

Dynamite for blasting out of jail

And Thanksgiving is a perfect time for it

It's Jamboree Week in Reno

And everybody wears cowboy outfits and false beards

It's just like a Western Mardi Gras

You, uh, you're talking like this could be done

I mean, actually

It can be done, Brick and I mean actually

So what?

None of us are gonna do it

Why not?

Call it a field experiment in psychology

It's not what we call it that matters

If we don't keep the money

we're not committing any actual crime

Suppose they grab us

before we get a chance to show them

we weren't going to keep the money

They won't, I tell you

I've got everything worked out

and it's foolproof

We leave the trailer in Reno.

We board a train

and we're out of town before

anybody knows we've even been there

What are you shutting up about?

It all takes place in seven minutes

At the first stop, we get on the phone

and let them know where the money is

Well, you know me

always the first one to tear down a goalpost

or any other red-blooded college prank

Please, don't talk about blood

What else will you need?

A cart

We'd have to build a cart

just like the one we saw at Harold's Club

And we'd need another guy

Why?

Well, the plan calls for four guys to make it work

Do you think Al would go for it?

Not if he knew what he was doing.

Last couple of days, I promise you he hasn't

Do you think it would work with Al

if he didn't know what was up until the last minute?

You really need him?

It might be fun if we all did it together

Clear out the attic, Mother

I'm having in a few friends to hide

It's easier than swallowing goldfish

Well, who said I want to do that, either?

About Al

I've got to have four guys

How about Spiegy?

You got Al

Spiegy, shew

The Ancient Mariner

Ah, very funny

What are you doing here, Brick?

I thought you were packing

How's Kay doing?

Oh, fine, fine

Took three encores tonight

And she'll be out of the shower in five minutes

You're getting to be a regular night-club Johnny

aren't you?

Yeah, I like it

Listen, the guys insist you come along

Vacation starts tomorrow

We go to Reno a couple of days

and then up to Ronnie's ranch

Why drive all that distance?

Well, everybody gets their own private monogrammed turkey

Maybe we win a couple of dollars at roulette

Hm, I can have more fun right here

You know, it might do you

and Kay some good not to see each other for a week or so

You know the old gag about absence makes the something

Yeah, I know that old gag

Brick, this year we're stuffing our turkey

with dressing rooms, not dressing

No reason, except I'm just out of the shower

You know, I never told you

but I used to have a job in a ladies' Turkish bath

Hey, what about those Turkish women?

Pretty cute?

Yeah, but they all had Turkish men

Oh, you do get the bad breaks, don't you?

Hm-mm, you know, a soap opera is a fast

funny musical compared to my life

However, there are moments

I wouldn't trade for mountains of uranium

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us

you, too?

You told me the boys invited you

to go along with them to Reno

over the Thanksgiving holidays

Brick's outside now trying to sign me on

You know, why they should want me

with my sad face is more than I can figure

You know, I was thinking

that if you went along with them

and we didn't see each other

until after you got back

I just thought that it would give us a week

to get away from each other

and just kind of think things over

Don't get sore, Al

It's just that

when we're together I can't - Look

you don't have to explain anything to me

You can see or not see anybody you want

It's only a week, Al

It's not the seven long miserable days, baby

It's the fact that you still have to think up trick gimmicks

to find out whether you're in love with me

It isn't that

I know I'm in love with you - Do you?

Well, then maybe when we're talking about love

we're talking about two different things

Maybe we're not.

In my book, it means consideration

for the feelings of the person

you're supposed to be in love with

Have you noticed my feelings lately?

They're pretty well beat

You feel real sorry for yourself, don't you?

No, I don't feel sorry for myself

I feel sorry for you

You just can't make up your mind, can you?

Let's forget what I said

Maybe it was a lousy idea at that

No, maybe it's a good idea

Anyway, let's give it a try

It can't get any worse, as far as I'm concerned

Look, we don't have to decide anything this minute

I'll give you a call later

No, don't, maybe, maybe we can get together

after Thanksgiving if we still want to

and you can make up your mind

Let's get out of here

Sure

When are you leaving for Reno?

In the morning

Okay, the sooner, the better

There's a cream cheese

looking for you

She's downstairs, said it's urgent

She wanted to come up

but I told her it was against the

The house rules

Thanks, Larry

Would there be any room in there for my things?

I don't know

It depends on where you're going

I hear they marry people in a hurry in Reno

I have a friend who's going there

If what you've been going through is

anything like what I've been going through

then I'm marrying the toughest guy in the world

You're absolutely sure now?

I tell you, I've been boiled in oil

and I know what I'm doing

Well, I know I should get discreetly out of here

but I'm going to stay and watch

We're getting married

Hey, I said we're getting married

Yeah, I heard you

I was just wondering if I should sing something appropriate

- Easy, boy, easy - There, that'll ruin you

for all other men

Well, I think you two are going to like marriage

I've heard it described as something like

tennis played with 40-millimeter cannons

No, that's before you get married

Oh, I see

Say, I wonder if Ronnie would mind

giving us a lift as far as Reno?

We'll leave you fast enough after that

Well, never mind, we'll catch a train

Come on, I'll take you home

Hey, wait a minute

You're going to need money

like you never needed money before

Like you never dreamed of

And this child is not going to travel alone with you

until you've done the right thing, by her

Old Brick is gonna see that he doesn't get away from you

now that he's ruined you

Thank you, old Brick

Hey, won't it be great on a honeymoon

with just the five of us?

We'll see you, Brick

♪ Time and time I stroke those tresses ♪

♪ In the years long since going by ♪

♪ Now I find them everywhere ♪

♪ In the butter and in the pie ♪

♪ Pickle, diddle, di, do, dum, dum ♪

Down with three

Next time, gin, one

Oh, think you're pretty smart, huh?

Haven't seen you look so sharp since Tokyo, buddy

Look sharp, be sharp

Hey, you warned Ronnie about the chance he's taking?

Chance, what chance?

You know they're going to

throw the book at you if you're caught

What are you talking about?

Well, riding back here, it's against the law

Oh, well, we just won't tell the cops

what we're doing, that's all

Okay by me, it's your funeral

Hey, you hungry?

Starved

What do you say we stop

in the next town and get a bite to eat?

Oh, when we're so completely self-sufficient?

Everything we need is right here

Food, gas and oil, water, you name it

we figured on getting you two to Reno non-stop

Complete down to the red, rough hands

Where'd you get the cart, Ronnie?

I built it, electric torch, book of instructions

Tom Swift and His Radioactive Uncle, you know

I didn't know

you could do anything like that, Ronnie

Not a bad job, either

Pretty nice along the seams

Al, here are your sandwiches

It's something I designed for Dad's ranch

I've seen a cart like that somewhere before

I can't remember where

I'll trade you

♪ I went out of my way ♪

♪ To get in the way of love ♪

♪ But I'm not sorry ♪

♪ Even a little bit ♪

♪ 'Cause I discovered ♪

♪ The joy was worth the pain of it ♪

♪ I went out of my mind ♪

♪ When you stopped being kind and gentle ♪

♪ And I laughed when I thought ♪

♪ You're just being temperamental ♪

♪ Till it's ancient history to you ♪

♪ I've kept a memory or two ♪

♪ I used to go out of my way ♪

♪ To be out of this world with you ♪

Now, is this what you've been yapping about for so long?

Just about

You know, I must've been batty

to be scared about us

Well, you were young

We'll change all that

I was young, happy, successful at my work

and now you're taking me out of all this

Well, sometimes a little misery

and poverty is character building

That's what I want to build first, character

Don't miss a one of them, Roy

We can't leave a single print inside this trailer

What happens if we do?

Then this rig can be traced back to us

What happens if someone

in Harold's Club starts shooting?

You know, with guns?

I told you, no guns

Yeah, but you didn't tell them

This plan is absolutely foolproof

He's a genius, if he says it is, it is

You know, they charge double fares for bodies

What do you mean by that?

Just that

A body has to have two tickets on a train or plane

There's a regulation about it somewhere

There's an example of real positive thinking

Listen, let's get serious a minute, Ronnie

All of us within the next 24 hours

could be lying on a dirty floor

surrounded by cigarette butts

staring up at a ring of strange faces

with bullet holes in our heads

Just wipe the cards and relax

I've just rubbed this queen of spades

so hard I've turned her into a jack

We'll pull off the road up ahead

It's good and dark outside

Brick, you bury all that stuff

Break the glass jugs and scatter the pieces

When do these go on?

When we stop, I'll take care of that

Roy, your job is to keep Al and Kay busy

while we handle everything here

Keep them busy?

I never saw two busier people in my whole life

They haven't stopped once

What are your folks going to say about this?

It's been the ambition of the whole family

to get somebody in good-looking enough to answer the door

And what do the others do while I'm answering the door?

Oh, they peek out from behind the curtain

and look at you

Hey, you trying for some insurance money or something?

I just lost all my shame for a minute

Well, don't go looking for it

You know, you're a nut, but I love you

Harold's Club

Sure, that's what it looks like.

You're right

It looks like a dead ringer, doesn't it?

Glad to meet you, mister

Hope I don't have to kill you

You louse this deal, Jack

I'll gut you and shoot my way out of here

What's the pitch?

Brilliant, isn't it?

Now watch

Jack, you getting this?

Get going

What is it?

I don't know

It's the greatest hoax of the century

As nefarious as Fu Manchu

and as practical as a zipper

It's a way to hold up Harold's Club in Reno

and get away with it, a perfect crime

Did you know about this, Brick?

Yeah, sure, I knew about it

Yeah, you set him up for it, huh?

No, it's his own idea, not mine

Well, there's no harm done yet

At least you haven't broken any laws

as far as I can see

but you're trying hard for a cell block

and your varsity number

Ronnie, how could you dream up such a thing?

I don't know what everyone's getting so excited about

I've just come up with the greatest idea

since the bikini bathing suit

and you treat me like a hardened criminal

All right

Let's pull this rig over to the side of the road

All right, honey

You stay here in the trailer with Ronnie there

How could you let these kids fool around

with anything this stupid, Brick?

you know how Roy is

he'll go along with anything for laughs

But Ronnie's gone to a lot of trouble and expense

He's worked out a plan, great plan

He really could rob Harold's Club, you know?

I know, he could do anything

But how about you?

Me?

I'm dead serious

Come on, let's quit horsing each other

Don't talk down to me, Al

I don't feel a fit coming on or anything

I'm as cool as a trench knife

I'm not talking down to you

Just tell me about it

All right, any guy who wants to lead himself

a quiet, peaceful, uneventful life

picked the wrong time to get born

Sure, sure, you had it tough, so did I

But we made it back, that evens things up

No, it doesn't

I did a lot of brain-beating in that hospital

I got it figured out, I figured it this way

A guy's got to have a little money to call his own

Every time I thought I could make ends meet

some joker came along and moved the ends out

Well, no more

I'm gonna do anything to get what I want

Keep talking, keep talking.

I'm not going to graduate this year or any year

You know it, and I know it

Sure you'll graduate

We'll help pull you through

No, you guys had me hanging around your neck long enough

I wasn't cut out for law

Well, you're not cut out

for 50 years in prison, either

Look, I've already had my lost years

You realize there are guys our age

that are in practice already?

You're not thinking straight, Brick

You better get yourself back to that hospital fast

How much money you got in your pocket, right now, huh?

How much you think you're gonna have

a year after you get out of school?

10, 20, 50 bucks?

Ronnie's cooked up a sure thing

You're both wrong

We can be in and out of that club

in six minutes tonight, Al, with a fortune

Tonight, Al, tonight you can have 50,000 bucks, maybe

You and Kay could live

high on the hog on that I hear words

and they don't make sense

We're counting on you

Counting on me?

Sure, I figured it right down the line

Just like old times, Al

Look, Brick, you saved my life once

I'm grateful to you for that

I'm going to help you

We're going over to that trailer, get that cart out

and shove it over right down there

Then we're going in to Reno

and forget we ever had this conversation

You know, when you first decided to bring Kay along

it kind of worried me

Now I can see how it's going to help

[Al] You leave Kay out of this, Brick

Know why?

I got a part in the hold-up tor her, too

She's going to drive the car

Hey, only got one punch for me, old buddy?

Don't push me, Brick

You involve Kay in anything, I'm going to kill you

Hey, that'd boost your legal career

real good, wouldn't it?

Every law firm in the country would

want you for a junior partner

You're really sick

Ronnie, go in that trailer

and bring that cart out here

No guns, Brick, the deal was no guns

Now this is the way it works

You three stay inside the trailer

Give me the trailer key, Ronnie

Come on, toss it

Okay, you'll stay in deep freeze till we get to Reno

My old buddy here is gonna drive

He has to rehearse his part

so he'll know what he's doing when we get to Harold's Club

You won't get away with this, Brick

Gun or no gun

Yes, I will, you want to know why?

Cause your only chance of getting out of this thing alive

is to pull it off and get away clean

You're worse off than I thought

You ought to be back in that psycho ward

Psycho ward

that's right

I should've told you guys before

- Shut up - That's where he

Look at the evidence, Counselor

Who bought the trailer and the car you're riding in?

Ronnie

Used a phony name and address

And the license plates don't go with this rig, either

Roy bought the groceries

He helped Ronnie to build the cart, too

And that's Ronnie's voice you heard on the tape recorder

Is that right?

You and Kay just came along for the ride

but who's gonna believe it was just to get married?

You're part of a gang, Al

He hasn't done anything

The police aren't going to believe that

I'll take my chances

Maybe you don't read me

If you guys don't back me up

I'm going to rob Harold's Club all by myself

You couldn't, Brick, not by yourself

Well, then I'll say it again slowly

so you'll understand

I am going to rob Harold's Club with or without you guys

And I'm going to use the gimmick that you figured, Ronnie

They'll follow you around like Lady Godiva

Well, you'd better pray I make it

Cause if I get caught

I'm going to drag you all in with me

Go on, get in the back like he says

Now you're thinking straight, Al

Oh, I want that cart moved up in the back seat of the car

where I can watch it

and cover it up with a blanket

Come on, move

And then you walk up to the guy with the cart, see?

And you say, I guess you don't remember me

Mr. Gunderson introduced us

but that was a long time ago

look, Al

You play this through with me

you're not going to get in any trouble

You were forced into a crime

Now, even I can defend you on that

I should've sent you back to that hospital

the night you clobbered that kid at the club

I'm not going back there, Al

I wouldn't have gone back there then

and I'm not going back now, either

I'll do anything to keep from going back there, Al

Anything, you get that?

This is the best way I know to get there

After I get that money

I'm going to put a million miles between me and the doctors

I can't live with that place hanging over my head, Al

You think I like holding a gun on you?

You think I like that?

You're the only guy ever meant anything to me

But I'll cut you down, Al

Even you, I'll cut you down if you try to stop me, see?

You've made that point enough

You think I'm crummy, don't you?

No, I don't think you're crummy

I know you're sick

Not sick enough to let you stop me

I'm not going to stop you, Brick

I'm gonna help you

because I don't want a lot of innocent people

to get messed up

You kill anyone, I'd feel responsible

Shut up, shut up

I'm liable to get sick myself

Kay, take this

Why?

In 65 seconds, Brick will stop

He'll unhitch the trailer and abandon it

30 seconds later, we'll walk into Harold's Club

Exactly six minutes later, we'll come out

An eastbound train leaves one minute later

Ronnie figures we can walk from the club

to the station in 15 seconds

We'll board her just as she rolls out

Why are you telling me this?

I know how Brick thinks

My job is to drop the cart at the alley entrance

three minutes and 15 seconds after Al, Brick

and Roy enter the club

Then I park the car in Harold's garage

No one will notice it there for a day or two

You don't think Brick's going to let you

out of his sight now, do you?

No, but he will trust Kay

The minute he turns his head

I'm going to yell for the first policeman

Not if you want Al alive

Brick would kill him for sure

Take this

You have six minutes to deliver the cart, park the car

and buy three tickets at the depot

Three tickets?

Brick and I won't be going back

Now, don't talk like that, Ronnie

Listen, maybe Kay is right, maybe she could get the cops

and they could surround the place

No, it's too late, Roy

And they couldn't get Al clear of Brick

Cross Brick now and he'd turn into a shooting maniac

He'd mow us down, and that's not all

He'd kill a lot of innocent people before they stopped him

No, we've got to wait

and let the professionals catch him, after the hold-up

It'll all be over in seven minutes

It wasn't just a stunt, Roy

I wanted to see it work

And I want to see it work right now

I don't mean for the money or anything

but just to know I was able to do it

All right, bring out the cowboy outfits

Unhitch it

Come on, start putting that stuff on

All right, 25 seconds

I'm going to say this once, Kay

Ronnie's supposed to deliver the cart

to the back entrance of Harold's Club

three minutes and 15 seconds after we enter

Then he's supposed to park the car in Harold's garage

Now, this is a change of plans

Ronnie's going to stay with me and you do his job

Drive the car, follow us

I'll point out the spot for you to leave the cart

The garage is across the tracks from the club

And if the cart isn't there three minutes

and 15 seconds after we enter, on the button

I'm gonna kill Al

I thought I told you to leave her out of this

You put your beards on

Okay, time

Make up your mind, Kay, we're rolling

Six minutes after we get into Harold's Club, we'll be out

You'll see a train, get on it

We'll enter different cars and meet you later

Ronnie's going to buy the tickets on the train

All right, Al, you decide

Al, he's insane, do what he says

On the line, shoot it new

First to pass

Here we go now

Come out with a winner

You're next, eh

Stand behind the line now

Get back

9:40 tonight, hanging on, hanging on

Five and four now, sir

I guess you don't remember me

Mr. Gunderson introduced us

Well, you meet an awful lot of people

Sure, sure. I know

but I wanted to talk to you, it's important

If you could spare a second

Don't turn your head too quickly

but if you look over your right shoulder

you'll see a man

What about him?

Well, that man's my partner

He's got a gun pointed at your back

You make the wrong move in the next second, he'll kill you

You getting it?

Same good thing

Yeah, I hear you

No, don't look up there, look at me

Seven winner, main line

I know they're watching us up there

Right about now you'd better start smiling

Look at me and smile

This is a friendly conversation, in case anybody's watching

Smile

You can do better than that

Same Shooter

All right

What are we going to do now?

Well, you're gonna push your cart

down to the blackjack table at the head of the stairs

right next to the dealer

and ask her to keep an eye on it for you

But she'll think that's funny if I do that

Oh, she'll think it's funny, but she'll do it anyway

because you asked her to

And while we're walking down there

you keep looking at us and smiling

Get going

Keep an eye on this for me

Got enough, Jesse?

That's all yours

Coming out on the line here

Don't look at the ceiling

Just go out there to the alley

Smile, keep smiling

Uh, sorry, we're working in here

- But we - You'll have to use

the Virginia Street entrance

But we gamble - That's the only

- there every day - entrance that's open

Give him that cigarette

You yell for help and we'll run

You'll save your boss a little money

but just before we run, I'm going to kill you

That's right, that's a duplicate

You're gonna push that into the money room

just like it's your regular cart

Stuff the bills in there

No silver, just bills

All you say is the boss wanted the money

He sent you to get it, and he wants it quick

Anybody wants to know why, you don't know

and you don't care

Then you tie the sack up, put it on top of the cart

and push it right back here

You got that?

Sure

I guess you're wondering why you ought to do this

once you're inside, huh?

Well, it had crossed my mind

Meet the other member of our group

Glad to meet you, mister

Hope I don't have to kill you

See, you're going to have company in the cash room

our little friend in the cart

You're going to wheel him in there with you

and then out again

Wonder why?

Tell him why, Charlie

Guy in there's 5 feet tall, no bigger than most jockeys

He's served time, I won't say where

He's out, because he escaped

He says he'll never serve time again

You louse this deal, Jack

I'll gut you and shoot my way out of here

See, he's going to watch you

all the time through these louvers

The top isn't fastened down

All he has to do is stand up and he's shooting at you

Got that?

You getting this?

Get going

You're due back in the vault now

Don't stall on the way and set off the alarm

or our friend in here is gonna have to dust you

Jackpot, I did it

I hit a jackpot, I did it, I did it

Another giant $1,000 jackpot!

Machine C408

A $1,000 jackpot

Hold up

Here they go

You're all set

10 cent

Having any luck?

No, no, I won one last time I was here

Of course, you'll do

Let's see, 10 cent machine

Where's the quarter machine?

They're down that way

Okay, good luck

clear

Now dices are coming on out

coming right out on the old come out drawer

Come out on even

Standing on the main line

Here you are, 99 in your hand

Fine, that's fine

Can't believe this thing.

Your coin?

What's your name?

- Going? - I think I won one last time

You got to go

Now, look, Eric

We're going to pick up a bag now and go outside the door

We're going to a car we got waiting out in the alley

We're going to blow the horn twice

Now, the minute he hears it in there

he's going to push out the sides

and go out the door, too

Now you wait right here

till you hear the horn honk twice

You getting this?

Yeah, I'm getting it

Look, I've done everything you've asked me to

I don't want him getting wild at the last minute

Just follow instructions and nobody's going to get hurt

He's not going to shoot anybody he doesn't have to

Look out

There's a man with a gun In there

Brick, this has gone far enough

I'm okay

Al, I've gone to the police, I've told them

- Tell them to stay back - I've gone to the police

Darling, please, it's too late

- It's in their hands - Look, Brick

is a real sick guy

but he's not gonna hurt anybody unless he's crowded

Now, tell them to stay back

and give me a chance with him

Tell them

Hey, mister, did you see a big fellow

come by here carrying a bag?

Nope

Sorry, sir, no people, just cars

Look, I've got to find this guy

Look, buster, sorry, no people, just cars

Brick

Brick, where are you?

Please, you've got to believe me

Look, if you'll just let him alone

then he might be able to get him down

without anyone being hurt

Look, lady, you never know about a psycho

- especially if he's got a gun - No, no, please

Stop

Hold it, Mac

Brick

It's me. Al

I'm not crowding you

I wouldn't crowd you, Brick

I'm going to kill you

I'm going away

I thought maybe you'd like to come with me

I'm going to kill you

You remember the time you brought me in?

I had a hole in my side

The commies were shooting at you then

Do you remember the tracer bullets?

How they lit up the snow and made it look all red?

Remember?

Just because I wanted to be a Mr. First

And will you check his records?

We check everything

In Washington, I mean

I got most of the details from her

I'll get the rest from you

What's going to happen to him?

Well, he'll have to stay

in the hospital this time until he's well

It certainly is a terrible way

for you to start your marriage

You mean there's another way?

Sure is

There sure is, honey