Original subtitles

[PEOPLE CHATTING]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, QUIET, PLEASE. QUIET, PLEASE.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I NEED YOUR ATTENTION.

ALL EYES ON ME. I NEED QUIET.

NOW-- [RATTLING]

[CRASHING AND BANGING]

NOW, I'VE CALLED YOU ALL HERE BECAUSE--

[RATTLING]

[CRASH AND RATTLING]

[CONTENTS RATTLING]

[CONTENTS RATTLING]

I HOPE THERE WILL BE NO MORE DISTURBANCES.

MOM, ZACK STOLE MY ALLOWANCE.

I DID NOT STEAL.

I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA TAKE IT.

DID NOT! DID TOO!

DID NOT! GUYS! GUYS!

[CONTENTS RATTLING]

NOW, I HAVE SOME DISTURBING NEWS THAT CONCERNS ALL OF YOU.

IF IT'S ABOUT THE PERSON WHO ACCIDENTALLY SAT ON A BOX OF CANDY...

AND THEN ATE IT,

SHE'S REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

UM, IF THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME,

COULD WE MAKE IT ABOUT ME?

'CAUSE OTHERWISE, ME IS GOING.

NO, WHAT'S IT ABOUT IS MR. TIPTON HAS CHOSEN THIS HOTEL

AS THE BACKDROP FOR HIS NEW COMMERCIAL.

Woman: OOH!

I KNOW IT'S TERRIBLY INCONVENIENT.

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE,

ALL EMPLOYEES WILL BE ASKED TO PREPARE AN AUDITION.

NOW, I REALIZE IT'S THE LAST THING WE ALL WANT TO DO,

BUT WE MUST MAKE-- OH, MY WORD! OH! OH! OH!

OHHH!

UH...I THINK THEY TOOK THAT RATHER WELL.

♪ HERE I AM IN YOUR LIFE ♪

♪ HERE YOU ARE IN MINE ♪

♪ YES, WE HAVE THE SUITE LIFE ♪

♪ MOST OF THE TIME ♪

♪ YOU AND ME, WE GOT THE WORLD TO SEE ♪

♪ SO COME ON DOWN ♪

♪ JUST ME AND YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ♪

♪ SO COME ON DOWN ♪

♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, AND ME AND YOU ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WHOLE PLACE TO OURSELVES ♪

♪ YOU AND ME, WE GOT IT ALL FOR FREE ♪

♪ SO COME ON DOWN ♪

♪ THIS IS THE SUITE LIFE ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT THE SUITE LIFE ♪

THIS IS GREAT!

THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO GET ON TV!

YEAH. I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU'D BE ON TV.

I JUST ASSUMED YOU'D BE IN HANDCUFFS.

YOU MEAN AS A MAGICIAN?

YEAH. THAT'S IT.

OH, MAN!

THIS LINE MUST STRETCH ALL THE WAY TO THE BALLROOM.

WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE, WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET PICKED.

WELL, YOU WON'T, BUT WHEN I BECOME A STAR,

YOU CAN BE ONE OF MY PEEPS.

NOT THE MAIN PEEP. MAYBE A BACKUP PEEP.

BUT-- NOT A PEEP OUT OF YOU.

ZACK, REMEMBER, REJECTION IS A BIG PART OF SHOW BUSINESS.

YOU HAVE TO PERSEVERE,

WHICH INCLUDES STANDING IN LINE

WITH A MILLION OTHER PEOPLE

WHO SHARE THE SAME DREAM.

YOU'RE RIGHT, MOM.

SO HOLD OUR PLACE IN LINE

AND CALL US ONCE YOU GET TO THE FRONT.

YEAH, NOW YOU'RE DREAMING!

YOU'RE GONNA WAIT RIGHT HERE.

ACTUALLY, YOU'RE GONNA WAIT BACK THERE.

All: OH, MAN!

[HUMMING RUSSIAN DANCE: TREPAK FROM NUTCRACKER SUITE]

A CAPPELLA!

[HUMMING]

[PLATES CRASH]

TA-DA.

CONGRATULATIONS.

I'VE SEEN A LOT OF LOUSY ACTS TODAY,

BUT YOURS IS THE FIRST TO MAKE ME ACTUALLY FEAR FOR MY LIFE.

WELL, THAT WAS NOTHIN'.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE ME...

JUGGLE! HA HA!

♪ DUN, DUN...DUN! ♪

ALL RIGHT.

♪ YIPPIE KII-AY ♪

♪ I'M A HAPPY COWBOY TODAY ♪

YAAHH!

IT WORKED!

BUT YOU NEVER WILL. NOW, VAMOOSE.

FINE. THEN I'D LIKE MY ROPE BACK.

YAAAHHH!

♪♪

TAKE IT AWAY, DUNDEE.

[CLUCK CLUCK]

[SNORTING AND PUFFING]

[CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK]

ISN'T HE AMAZING?

THAT'S YOU...MAKING THAT TIPPY-TAPPY SOUND.

AREN'T I AMAZING?

NEXT!

♪♪

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

I KNOW THAT DIRECTOR. I ONCE HAD A DATE WITH HIM!

REMEMBER TO MENTION WE'RE YOUR KIDS.

HE HATES ME.

AND YOUR NAME WAS?

SO THE DATE DIDN'T GO WELL?

LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY:

I CRAWLED OUT OF THE BATHROOM WINDOW

BEFORE THE SALAD ARRIVED. I CAN'T GO OUT THERE!

I CAN. HE DOESN'T HATE ME.

WAIT UNTIL HE SEES YOUR ACT.

NEXT!

[SIGHS]

WHO AND WHAT ARE YOU?

I AM THE GREAT KODINSKI.

AND I'M GOIN' TO PERFORM MY SALUTE TO SPRING.

IT'S AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE.

[RECORDING OF BIRDS CHIRPING AND BROOK BABBLING PLAYS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[WATER RUNNING; THUNDER]

[THUNDER]

[DOVE COOS; SPLAT]

[RAIN AND WIND]

[SOFT MUSIC WITH BEAT COMES IN]

[STRONG WIND]

[BIRDS TWITTERING]

[MUSIC WINDS UP TO A FINISH]

HERE'S MY SALUTE TO SPRING.

NEXT!

YOU, SIR...ARE NO FRIEND OF THE DANCE.

THIS IS ENCOURAGING. AT LEAST SHE'S GOT

SOME PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE.

NO PLATES OR POULTRY.

DEMINA, CROSS MY FINGERS FOR ME.

♪♪

♪ I SAW YOUR FACE ♪

♪ NOW I'M ON THE VERGE OF ROMANCE ♪

♪ AND I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR A WHILE, LET ME TELL YOU ♪

♪ IT'S GONE FROM MY HEAD TO MY FEET ♪

♪ NOW I'M STARTIN' TO DANCE ♪

♪ I CAN FEEL IT, CAN YOU FEEL IT? YOU'RE THE MAN-- ♪

STOP!

I'D KNOW THOSE LEGS ANYWHERE.

LAST TIME I SAW THEM,

THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY TO THE LADIES' ROOM.

SO YOU REMEMBER ME.

LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY: NEXT!

HEY! I KICKED YOU OUT.

DON'T THINK JUST 'CAUSE YOU CHANGED YOUR CLOTHES

I WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU.

NO, YOU KICKED MY BROTHER OUT.

AND I DON'T BLAME YOU. HE'S A SPEED BUMP

ON THE ROAD OF ENTERTAINMENT.

NICE TRY!

NO, NO! REALLY! WE'RE TWINS.

PLEASE. DO YOU THINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY?

NOT WITH THOSE WRINKLES.

♪ DUN DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN DUN DUN ♪

NEXT!

[MUSIC STARTS] NEXT!

I HATE SPOTLIGHTS.

SO DO I.

NOW, 1 AND UH-2-- WAIT A MINUTE.

I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THIS.

AND UH-3 AND 4...

YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, SISTER.

NOW MAKE WAY FOR A REAL SINGER.

5, 6, 7, 8-- HOLD IT!

I AM GOING TO SING,

YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT, AND YOU ARE GOING

TO GET OUT OF HERE!

AND NOW ENJOY THE SONG STYLINGS OF MADDIE FITZPATRICK.

♪ IN MY DREAMS I CAN SEE YOU, SHOO BOP BOP ♪

♪ YOUR EYES ARE LIKE THE STARS AND SHINE SO BRIGHT ♪

♪ WHEN I WAKE IN THE MORNIN'-- ♪

♪ SHOO BOP BOP ♪

♪ EVERYTHING SEEMS TO FEEL SO RIGHT ♪

♪ SHOO BOP ♪ ♪ SHOO BOP ♪

♪ SHOO BOP ♪ ♪ SHOO BOP ♪

♪ SHOO BOP ♪

♪ SHOO BOP ♪ ♪ SHOO BOP ♪ OW!

[SOUND SYSTEM REVERBERATES]

WHY DON'T YOU SHOO BOP BOP OUTTA MY LIFE?!

NEXT!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER] Man: HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

HI!

HI.

I'M GONNA SING AND DANCE.

[SOTO VOCE] AT THE SAME TIME.

AND I'LL TRY TO WATCH AND HOLD DOWN MY LUNCH

AT THE SAME TIME.

♪ I'M A GIRL KIND OF GIRL ♪

[OUT OF TIMING] ♪ I LOVE BRACELETS AND RINGS ♪

♪ DIAMONDS AND RUBIES ♪

♪ AND ALL OF THOSE THINGS ♪

[SCREECHING] ♪ BECAUSE SPRING ♪

[OFF-KEY] ♪ IS MY FAVORITE THING ♪

♪ WE'RE NOT TALKIN' ZIRCONIUM ♪

[SCREECHING] ♪ SPRING IS MY FAVORITE THING ♪

STO-OPP!

STOP!

BRING BACK THE CHICKEN.

WHY ON EARTH SHOULD I PUT YOU IN MY COMMERCIAL?

BECAUSE MY DADDY OWNS THIS HOTEL

AND SIGNS YOUR CHECK.

BRILLIANT!

YOU...ARE HIRED!

OK, PEOPLE!

I NEED ALL THE DANCERS PLAYING GUESTS

TO LINE UP, PLEASE!

VERY TALL GUEST...

FURTHER RIGHT.

THAT'S US! MOVE!

[FAKING MATURE VOICE] SORRY. I'M SO TALL,

IT TAKES A WHILE FOR IT TO GET FROM MY BRAIN DOWN TO MY FEET.

IT'S NOT FAIR!

HOW COME YOUR FACE GETS TO BE IN THE COMMERCIAL?

YOUR FACE IS MY FACE. BESIDES,

YOUR FEET ARE IN THE COMMERCIAL, AND YOU DON'T HEAR ME COMPLAININ'.

[GASPING FOR AIR]

SPEAKIN' OF FEET...

DON'T YOU EVER CHANGE YOUR SOCKS?!

OK, PEOPLE. IT IS...

STEP, STEP, KICK, AND TURN.

ALL RIGHT? VERY SIMPLE. YOUR TURN.

5, 6, 7, 8!

STEP, STEP, KICK.

AND TURN.

OH...WHOA...

WHOA! OHHH!

[MATURE VOICE] I TOLD YOU--

[OWN VOICE] I TOLD YOU WE WERE TWINS.

HMM. DOUBLE THE STINK!

IT WAS HIS SOCKS!

BOYS, ISN'T IT BAD ENOUGH

THAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THESE COMMERCIAL PEOPLE

DISRUPTING MY HOTEL?

NOW, BEHAVE, OR I'LL HAVE YOUR MOTHER

TAKE YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

GUYS, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!

YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOU.

YOU'RE DANCING LUGGAGE.

OK, PEOPLE, LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.

AND MAKE IT GOOD. MR. TIPTON IS WATCHING.

HE IS? FROM WHERE?

FROM HIS PRIVATE JET. HE'S GETTING THE FEED

FROM THAT CAMERA RIGHT OVER THERE.

All: HELLO, MR. TIPTON!

OHHH...

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, PLACES!

PLAYBACK!

ACTION!

[SONG INTRO PLAYS]

♪ WELCOME TO THE TIPTON ♪

♪ WHERE EVERYTHING IS SWEET ♪

♪ TRY JOINING US FOR DINNER ♪

♪ MAY WE OFFER YOU A SEAT? ♪

♪ COME AND STAY AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE TIPTON KEEPS YOU ON TOP ♪ WHOA! WHOA!

IS IT JUST ME, OR ARE YOUR EARS BLEEDING?

WHAT? OH...WE'RE GONNA DUB THE VOICE.

♪ BECAUSE YOU'RE THE--WHOOH! ♪

AAH!

WHO'S GOING TO DUB HER FEET?

LONDON? SWEETIE?

YOU ARE DOING GREAT! THANKS!

IF THIS WERE A BOWLING ALLEY.

BUT REMEMBER? I TOLD YOU

TO GO TO YOUR LEFT?

I DID GO TO MY LEFT.

THEN GO TO YOUR OTHER LEFT.

[BOTH TALKING WITH MOUTHS FULL]

THIS FOOD IS ONLY FOR THE CREW.

HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN EATING IT?

NO... NO...

OK, PEOPLE! TRY TO IMPRESS ME!

LIKE THAT'S POSSIBLE.

PLAYBACK!

ACTION!

♪♪

♪ WELCOME TO THE TIPTON ♪

♪ WHERE EVERYTHING IS SWEET ♪

♪ TRY JOINING US FOR DINNER ♪

♪ MAY WE OFFER YOU A SEAT? ♪

♪♪

♪ WHEN YOU STAY AT THE-- ♪

♪ THE-- ♪

♪ THE-- ♪

IT'S YOUR NAME!

OH!

♪ WHEN YOU STAY AT THE...LONDON ♪

YOUR LAST NAME!

WELL, I'M SORRY! IT'S JUST ALL SO CONFUSING!

THE WORDS, THE MUSIC, THE DANCING!

NO! IT'S EASY!

WELL, IF IT'S SO EASY, THEN YOU TRY IT.

OK...I WILL.

PLAYBACK.

♪♪

♪ WELCOME TO THE TIPTON ♪

♪ WHERE EVERYTHING IS SWEET ♪

♪ TRY JOINING US FOR DINNER ♪

♪ MAY WE OFFER YOU A SEAT? ♪

♪ NEXT TIME, STAY AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE TIPTON PUTS YOU ON TOP ♪

♪ WHEN YOU STAY AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE GOOD TIMES, THEY NEVER STOP ♪

♪ BECAUSE YOU'RE THE STAR WHEN YOU TRAVEL FAR ♪

♪ THE FOOD IS ALWAYS GOURMET ♪

Chorus: ♪ GOURMET ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ IT'S YOUR PLACE TO STAY ♪

♪ THE TIPTON IS THE PLACE ♪

♪ TO STAY ♪

CHECK IN!

[APPLAUSE]

BRILLIANT!

THAT WAS BRILLIANT!

PLEASE TELL ME THERE WAS FILM IN THE CAMERA.

I COULD... BUT I'D BE LYING.

WE USED UP ALL THE FILM ON THE AIRHEAD HEIRESS.

[GASPS]

YOU'RE FIRED!

LONDON, YOU'RE FIRED.

WAIT. DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHO I AM?

NO! AND APPARENTLY, NEITHER DO YOU!

MY FATHER WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.

RIGHT, DADDY?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

THAT'S HIM.

HI, DADDY.

UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

UH-HUH!

I'M FIRED.

YOU'RE HIRED.

YEAH, I WAS GONNA QUIT ANYWAY.

NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OF LONDON...

TIPTON! TIPTON! TIPTON!

I KNEW THAT.

I WAS PAUSING FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT.

TRAITOR.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GONNA BE THE STAR.

NOT THAT YOU WEREN'T GREAT. IT'S JUST

YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT THE COMMERCIAL HERE

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I KNOW...BUT WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS,

YOU MAKE... ♪ LEMONADE ♪

SAVE IT FOR THE CAMERAS.

HA HA HA! PLACES!

YOU HEARD THE MAN. HA HA HA!

PLAYBACK!

ACTION!

♪♪

♪ WELCOME TO THE TIPTON ♪

♪ WHERE EVERYTHING IS SWEET ♪

♪ TRY JOINING US FOR DINNER ♪

♪ MAY WE OFFER YOU A SEAT? ♪

♪ NEXT TIME, STAY AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE TIPTON PUTS YOU ON ♪ [CLUCK CLUCK]

♪ TOP-- ♪ OHH! [CLUCK CLUCK]

OHH!

UHH! OOH! OH! I WAS TRIPPED...

BY THAT STUPID CHICKEN!

IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.

HIS HAT WAS TOO TIGHT.

HE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

IT WAS FOWL PLAY. [GROANS] OH, PLEASE.

CAN YOU DANCE? OH, OF COURSE.

THE SHOW MUST GO--OHH!

OHH! OW!

WHO AM I GOING TO GET TO REPLACE HIM?

ME! ME! ME!

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COMMERCIAL NEEDS?

ADORABLE TWINS.

WHEREVER WILL WE FIND SOME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE?

CERTAINLY NOT IN THIS HOTEL!

IF ANYONE WANTS ME, I'LL BE IN THE GYM

SMASHING WEIGHTS INTO MY HEAD!

HELLO! CAN I GET A LITTLE HELP?

BOY, SOMEONE GOT UP

ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE LUGGAGE CAROUSEL.

I'M SORRY, GUYS. I'M JUST CRANKY

BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE THE LEAD IN THAT COMMERCIAL!

I CAN'T BELIEVE HERMAN CARRIED A GRUDGE FOR THIS LONG.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE ON CAMERA.

JUST MY LEGS!

WHICH ADMITTEDLY ARE PRETTY FANTASTIC.

I'VE SEEN BETTER.

BUT I'M SURE THEY WERE AIRBRUSHED.

I SHOULD JUST QUIT.

NO. YOU CAN'T GIVE UP, MOM.

YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING US TO PERSEVERE.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD PERSEVERE.

BY THE WAY, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS YOU NEVER GIVE UP.

YOU KEEP TRYING.

RIGHT...NO MATTER HOW MANY HIDEOUS FAILURES

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO FACE.

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY TELL YOU

YOU'RE NOT YOUNG ENOUGH OR PRETTY ENOUGH

OR HAVE STUMPY ANKLES.

YEAH, WELL, YOUR PEP TALKS AREN'T SO PEPPY, EITHER.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN, MOM.

YOU'RE REALLY TALENTED.

AND IF WE CAN'T STAR IN THAT COMMERCIAL, YOU SHOULD.

YEAH! YOU SHOULD GO DOWN AND TELL THE DIRECTOR GUY

THAT YOU'RE NOT TAKING "NO" FOR AN ANSWER!

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME. AND REMEMBER...

IT'S STEP, CLUCK, CLUCK, STEP,

NOT CLUCK, STEP, STEP, CLUCK.

[CLUCK CLUCK]

HE'S DOING THE BEST HE CAN!

YOU'RE SCARING HIM.

I'M JUST GIVING HIM DIRECTION!

WHILE EATING A CHICKEN FAJITA!

IT COULD BE HIS BROTHER!

YOU, SIR, ARE NOT NICE.

DIDN'T BOTHER ME WHEN MY MOTHER SAID IT.

DOESN'T BOTHER ME WHEN YOU SAY IT.

WE'RE TAKIN' A FIVE.

HERMAN, WE HAVE TO TALK.

WE WERE HAVING A VERY NICE TALK

AT DINNER WHEN YOU DITCHED ME.

HERMAN, IT'S BEEN 15 YEARS.

IN 6 DAYS.

IT'S ALMOST OUR ANNIVERSARY.

AND ME WITHOUT A CARD.

HERMAN, DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME TO FORGIVE AND FORGET

AND HIRE SOMEBODY WHO DOESN'T HAVE FEATHERS?

UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO WEAR A BOA.

I'D RATHER WORK WITH A BOA THAN HIRE YOU!

SHE'S GOING DOWN. WARM UP YOUR DANCING FEET.

I SAID NO!

WE GOTTA HELP HER!

THIS IS MOM'S BIG BREAK.

AND SHE'S NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER!

WELL, NEITHER ARE WE! WE'RE PUSHING 13,

AND I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF CUTE LEFT IN ME.

NOW...PACK YOURSELF AND GET OUT!

HEY! DON'T TALK TO OUR MOM LIKE THAT!

YOU'D BE LUCKY TO HIRE HER FOR YOUR COMMERCIAL.

IN FACT, YOU SHOULD HIRE ALL THREE OF US.

SURE. THIS HOTEL IS OUR HOME.

AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT MAKES IT GREAT BETTER THAN WE DO.

WE LOVE THIS HOTEL

AND EVERYONE IN IT.

THEY'RE OUR FAMILY.

WOW.

I THINK I'M FEELING SOMETHING.

WAIT. IT'S JUST THE FAJITA

BACKING UP ON ME.

HERMAN-- DON'T YOU "HERMAN" ME!

YOU THREE WILL NEVER BE IN MY COMMERCIAL!

THERE'S NOT A FORCE IN THE UNIVERSE THAT CAN CHANGE MY MIND!

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO!

[SWEETLY] HELLO...MR. T.

UH-HUH...

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

I'VE CHANGED MY MIND!

YOU'RE HIRED!

MR. TIPTON LOVES MY IDEA

OF A FAMILY ANGLE FOR THE COMMERCIAL.

I WISH WE'D THOUGHT OF THAT.

YOU MEAN WE'RE IN?

All three: THANKS, MR. TIPTON!

GUYS! GUYS! COME ON! IT'S STARTING!

TV: WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

♪♪

♪ WELCOME TO THE TIPTON ♪

♪ WHERE EVERYTHING IS SWEET ♪

♪ TRY JOINING US FOR DINNER ♪

♪ MAY WE OFFER YOU A SEAT? ♪

♪ NEXT TIME, STAY AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE TIPTON PUTS YOU ON TOP ♪

♪ WHEN YOU STAY AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE GOOD TIMES, THEY NEVER STOP ♪

♪ BECAUSE YOU'RE THE STAR WHEN YOU TRAVEL FAR ♪

♪ THE FOOD IS ALWAYS GOURMET ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ IT'S YOUR PLACE TO STAY ♪

♪ WE BELONG AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ THE TIPTON IS OUR PLACE TO PLAY ♪

♪ ROOM SERVICE, MOVIES, AND ICE CREAM ♪

♪ IN PARIS, NEW YORK, OR BOMBAY ♪

♪ HANG YOUR HAT ON OUR WELCOME MAT ♪

♪ WE WANT YOU TO HAVE IT YOUR WAY ♪

♪ YOUR WAY ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪♪

♪ AT THE TIPTON ♪

♪ YOUR PLACE TO ♪

♪ STAY ♪

AND BRING THE FAMILY!

♪ THE TIPTON IS THE PLACE ♪

♪ TO STAY ♪

CHECK IN!

YEAH! YEAH!

[APPLAUSE]

OHH...

HA HA HA!

IT WAS A SMART CHOICE,

MAKING ME THE STAR OF THE COMMERCIAL.

YOU WEREN'T THE STAR.

OF COURSE I WAS.

I COULDN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF ME.

MOM, YOU WERE RIGHT--

SHOW BUSINESS IS DOG EAT DOG.

OR CHICKEN.

BUT WE NEVER QUIT.

WE PERSEVERED... AND HOPED... AND DREAMED

FOR THE FAILURE OF OTHERS.

AND THEY DIDN'T LET US DOWN.

THAT'S MY BOYS.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HI, DADDY.

UH-HUH...

UH-HUH.

DADDY LOVED THE COMMERCIAL.

[SIGHS OF RELIEF]

UH-HUH. RESERVATIONS ARE POURING IN.

MOST OF THEM FROM FAMILIES.

AND THAT MEANS A LOT MORE KIDS AT THE HOTEL!

NNNNOOOOO!

OW! OW!

OW! OW! OW!

I THINK HE TOOK THAT RATHER WELL.

YEAH.