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1
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,977
Aah, aah!
2
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,109
Oh, my god.
3
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,444
Holy shit. Oh.
4
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,796
What are...
What are these things?!
5
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,197
Do I look like I know?
6
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,199
Last thing I remember, I was,
ugh, in a cave
7
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,511
looking at some wet egg and...
Oh, that probably did it.
8
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,845
I told you not to look
at that egg!
9
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,079
I-It was too wet.
10
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,515
You don't get to tell me
what to look at.
11
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,779
I've seen your pornhub account.
12
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,333
Also, who makes
a pornhub account?
13
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,585
The algorithm learns your
preferences better that way.
14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,563
Plus if you get in kind
of a cool enough relationship,
15
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,089
you can sort
of follow each other
16
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,608
and check out
each other's kinks, you know?
17
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,175
Alright, god damn, sold.
18
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,653
- How do we get out of here?
- Morty, relax.
19
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,470
They're face-hugging parasites.
20
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,995
I don't think their society's
gonna be that hard to navigate.
21
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,686
Okay, yeah, this might be
a little harder than I thought.
22
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,480
Holy shit.
They've got an M&M's store.
23
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,808
This is bad, Rick.
Th-th-th-th-this is really bad.
24
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,268
Just be cool, morty.
25
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,620
All we gotta do is blend in,
find our ship,
26
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,479
and get the fuck outta here.
27
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,291
Alright, morty, here's the plan,
put this back on your face.
28
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,858
I-I'm not putting that
back on my face!
29
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:48,983
Relax. It's dead.
30
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,571
Okay, now it's dead.
31
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,407
Come on, hurry up.
32
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,408
Rick, i-it's bleeding.
33
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,909
I-It's bleeding acid.
34
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,512
Alright, well, that should
be the last of it.
35
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,830
If not, then just gimme
two tugs on the arm.
36
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,210
Seems like a self-destructive
life cycle.
37
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,629
Is that gonna happen to us?
38
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,088
You feel an egg in your stomach?
39
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,050
- No.
- Well, glass half full.
40
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,176
- How's it going?
- 'Sup.
41
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,552
- Glory to glorzo.
- Totally.
42
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,803
Love glorzo.
43
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,430
Tower: Glorzo is peace.
44
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,015
Peace is glorzo.
45
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,434
Wow, just cogs in the machine,
y'know?
46
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,329
- Ma-makes you think...
- Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this
47
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,289
into a beautiful short film
that your parents'll pay for,
48
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,374
morty, but right now, we really
just need to find my ship.
49
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,900
You sure you're not
just jealous?
50
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,110
Looks like I'm kind of
a celebrity around here.
51
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,904
Glorzo morty:
The future is glorzo!
52
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,782
Oh, my god.
I was just reading you.
53
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,242
Congratulations on making it
into print media.
54
00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,869
Real bright future there.
55
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,889
Honestly, it's shocking to see
the two of you together.
56
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,790
Because we're both geniuses?
57
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,541
No, because I've seen
your videos,
58
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,293
and you make me fucking sick.
59
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,003
Fix him.
60
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,548
Glory to glorzo.
61
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,984
Sir, you shouldn't
wander off like that.
62
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,361
We've been looking
all over for you.
63
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,905
The project is ready
for your approval.
64
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,554
Sir, is this man bothering you?
65
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,056
Um, no, h-he's fine.
66
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,849
Uh, what... what project?
67
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,352
Jesus Christ,
who the fuck was I?
68
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:08,897
Here's a scientific fact
I'm not allowed to say...
69
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:13,151
Our hosts are biologically
designed to incubate our eggs.
70
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,404
If that "triggers" you,
fuck off.
71
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,048
If it doesn't,
please like and subscribe.
72
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,782
New videos every glorzday.
73
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,492
God, was I at least rich?
74
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,160
I mean, d-d-did
I at least sell out
75
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,662
and sell vitamins or something?
76
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,264
Rick, I've watched enough
pornhub to know
77
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,665
what a studio apartment
looks like.
78
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,208
God damn.
79
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,669
Jesus, your glorzo got
shit done.
80
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,422
My lord, we await your command.
81
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,547
Oh, to...
82
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,216
Shoot it? A-At people?
83
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,676
Glorzo is peace.
84
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,344
All shall be made glorzo.
85
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,304
Soldiers: Glory to glorzo.
86
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,931
I... did this?
87
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,435
You and the amazing technology
you both brought us.
88
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,811
Yeah, makes sense.
89
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,096
A-And where was this heading?
90
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,147
Eanh? Probably earth?
91
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,815
The humans call it "earth."
92
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,067
Yeah, well, okay,
first of all, great work.
93
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,032
You guys obviously put a lot
of work into this.
94
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,529
- Okay.
- And y'know, it shows.
95
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,614
I-It really shows. But um...
96
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,134
I-I've been thinking,
and, you know,
97
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,201
maybe we should
just call this off.
98
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,870
Sorry, is... is there more?
99
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,121
Nope, nope.
100
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,039
I-I guess, uh, that...
That's it.
101
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:11,001
Just don't glorzo earth.
102
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,712
Just would've been nice
to have heard this sooner
103
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,380
before we spent all day on it.
104
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,466
Yeah, well, i-I'm just hearing
about it, too.
105
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,967
- You ordered it.
- Right.
106
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,635
I-I did, and, um...
107
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,405
I'm just saying for next time,
maybe put more thought
108
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,097
into it before a whole day of...
109
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,200
Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you
do your job for a fucking day!
110
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,535
You look like you were
all really busy
111
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,019
before I came
and fucked it all up.
112
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,288
Boy, oh boy, huh?
This guy's a genius, but at...
113
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,438
But at what price, you know?
114
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,647
Y'know, fuck you, Rick!
115
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,025
Who's... Rick?
116
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,711
Yeah, well, if we're free
to ask questions,
117
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,362
why haven't you blinked,
uh, for 20 minutes,
118
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:42,949
and why, uh, doesn't
your mouth move when you talk?
119
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,995
Ah, geez, look at me.
120
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,872
I-I feel down on...
On... on the floor.
121
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,333
Oh, let... let me, uh, help...
Help you out here, buddy.
122
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,668
Ah, thanks, man.
Thanks, pal. That's right.
123
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,005
I'm right back where... where...
Right back in the saddle here.
124
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,885
Alright, fuck it, run.
125
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,992
I-I hate this!
I hate all of this!
126
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,512
Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback
coming, morty.
127
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,287
It can only help.
128
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,127
- Rick: Oh, shit.
- Morty: Aw, man!
129
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,754
Morty: How big is this city?!
130
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,130
I know, it's like pick a Lane.
131
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,174
Are you face huggers
or industrialists?
132
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,221
Damn, feels kinda good
when there's no guilt, huh?
133
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,740
Yeah, it's...
It's like in "star wars."
134
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,004
Yeah, just like in "star wars."
135
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,892
Go nuts!
136
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,566
Nice, morty! Give a little
"yee-haw" if you want.
137
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,501
They... they always do a little
"yee-haw" like a cowboy.
138
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,609
Yee... yee-ha... yee-haw.
139
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,236
Good enough.
140
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,455
God, I needed this.
141
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,141
Honestly, it's been a while
since I've been able
142
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,292
to just let loose, you know?
143
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,835
Just have fun. I'm... i'm...
144
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,563
I'm sorry if I've been
taking it out on you.
145
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,714
No, I get it. You got a lot
on your plate, amigo.
146
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,132
I-I just wish you'd open up
147
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,568
to me more about it
sometimes, you know?
148
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,069
- I-i-I'm your partner.
- Thanks, morty.
149
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,469
I mean that. Thank you.
150
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,030
Sometimes, I get a little
in my head, you know?
151
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,654
Hey, man, that head's
a good place to be.
152
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,683
Just remember to let me
in sometimes, you know?
153
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,019
Will do, buddy. Motherfucker.
154
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,566
Oh, my god, this is so much fun!
155
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,859
I don't want to stop!
156
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,384
Yeah, it's like
popping bubble wrap.
157
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,955
Honestly,
I'm proud of us for not.
158
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,749
Totally. It would've been cheap.
159
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,418
Yeah, real low-hanging fruit,
and we're better than that.
160
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,213
Pearl harbor,
on the other hand...
161
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,424
Yeah, I think that's in-bounds.
162
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,930
I am the god of death!
163
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,265
Should've been a better species!
164
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,982
So, you did a 9/11?
165
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,359
Almost did a 9/11.
166
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,902
We... we went with
a Pearl harbor.
167
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,153
We're pretty classy.
168
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,364
Why were either of those
an option?
169
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,531
Ask the Saudis.
170
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,658
Wow. Damn.
171
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,076
Yeah, getting political.
172
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,761
I'm political now.
How 'bout you, Jerry?
173
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,121
You got anything to add
to the family dynamic?
174
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,540
I've been getting into
beekeeping lately.
175
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,379
Is something wrong with that?
176
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,713
What's wrong with that?
177
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,840
Don't I have the right
to be happy? To exist?
178
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,550
I'm sorry I didn't 9/11
179
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,803
Pearl harbor before breakfast,
but I have a life, too!
180
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,429
- I have dreams!
- And how's summer?
181
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,349
Did she have fun, too?
182
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,267
Oh. Uh... um.
183
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,019
Summer... was...
184
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,270
With us.
185
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,941
You saw us take her
in the car with us.
186
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,276
- Mm, yes.
- Yes, yes, of course.
187
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,528
Th-that's what happened.
188
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,530
- And now she's...
- Sleepy.
189
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,657
Um, she's... she's sleepy.
190
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,176
Really sleepy.
That's why she's not here.
191
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,243
So sleepy.
192
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,744
She's sleepy?!
193
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:15,954
What the hell was that?!
194
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,706
I didn't see you trying
anything!
195
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,350
Shitting the bed isn't better
than not shitting the bed!
196
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,959
Where's summer?!
197
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,755
Geez. Oh, man.
198
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,608
You know, maybe we went
too hardcore on these guys.
199
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,859
Yeah, why do you think
we never go back
200
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,343
to a place we've already been?
201
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,862
Do you know how many adventures
we could get out
202
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,239
of purge planet, morty?
Gear world?
203
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,806
I don't sequel.
It's called integrity.
204
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,224
Here, put this back
on your face.
205
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,643
- You kept it?
- Oh, did you want a new one?
206
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,022
Jsup?
207
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,773
Oh, shit. It's them!
208
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,900
The worst thing
to ever happen to us!
209
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,318
Yeah, that makes sense.
210
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,629
Sorry, morty,
we tried pussin' it.
211
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,155
Time to go in hot.
212
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,365
Rickputer, initiate
unnecessarily badass suit-up.
213
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,211
Let's lick tits.
214
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,095
Shouldn't we be finding summer?
215
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,347
Oh, right, gee, sorry.
I got caught up again.
216
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,183
God, d-do I need
to take more Adderall,
217
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,268
or am I taking
too much Adderall?
218
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,195
Man, really shouldn't have gone
with swords.
219
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,988
I know.
My wrists are killing me.
220
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,407
Flame-throwers next time,
for sure.
221
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,034
Can I get a laser whip?
222
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:40,205
Okay, but there's no way
you don't chop your dick off.
223
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,665
Sum sum, come with us
if you want to live...
224
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,918
At a lower standard than this,
I guess.
225
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,336
God damn.
226
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,922
- Empress, is everything alright?
- Ummm...
227
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,256
Seize them!
228
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,591
- Seize them?!
- What?!
229
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,556
- Summer, you bitch!
- You gotta be kidding me!
230
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,430
J“ nobody knows the trouble
I've seen j“
231
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,848
you know that song, Rick?
232
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,201
From the...
When the prisoners sing it?
233
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,643
Come on, morty, for fuck's sake.
234
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,229
It's my jail time.
H can spend it however I want.
235
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,875
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy!
Hey, hey, hey!
236
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,109
Not in here! Not in here!
237
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,236
Aw... gimme that.
238
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,323
Leave us.
239
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,033
What the fuck took you so long?!
240
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,158
You left me here.
241
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,220
We didn't know you were with us!
242
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,013
Do you know how much shit
I've had to deal with?
243
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,205
You're in a cape, summer.
244
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,331
How bad could it be?
245
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,542
No bad story ends with a cape.
246
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,670
You don't know anything
about my story.
247
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,922
Woman:
"I couldn't help but wonder,
248
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,300
was gharkhul really capable
of consuming a living sun,
249
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,137
or was I simply getting
too close to gharkhul?
250
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,680
Was gharkhul consuming me?"
251
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,282
Rick, can we listen
to something else?
252
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,909
Quiet! She's just about
to summon gharkhul.
253
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,613
She's been talking about
summoning gharkhul
254
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,978
for three episodes, summer.
255
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,729
Wait a minute,
what's that in your mouth?
256
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,106
It's a toothpick.
257
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,899
I'm a toothpicker now.
Get used to it.
258
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,901
God, are you that desperate
for a thing?
259
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,736
It is my thing.
260
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,865
Just like yours is dying alone
and yours is jerking off.
261
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,701
At least jerking off tracks
for my character, you know?
262
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,120
I like to jerk off.
I'm 14. I own it.
263
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,764
- Well, I jerk off, too!
- Alright, stop.
264
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,391
Jesus Chris, I don't wanna think
about that shit.
265
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,958
- Summer, keep your toothpick.
- Gross!
266
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,602
Morty, stop talking to
your sister about jerking off.
267
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,226
Everyone pretend podcasting
isn't boring.
268
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,216
Whoa, morty, look how
wet this egg is.
269
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,218
I dunno, Rick.
That looks a little too wet.
270
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,737
- D-Don't touch it.
- Oh, I'm gonna touch it.
271
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,156
Why are you guys screaming
at an egg?
272
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,490
Shut up, summer!
Just let us look at an egg!
273
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,765
Yeah, summer, shut the fuck up.
274
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,451
- Fucking shit.
- Nobody wants you here.
275
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,953
You know, sometimes we like
to go on adventures
276
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,288
- and look at wet eggs, you know?
- Can we just go?
277
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,497
This place is giving me
the creeps.
278
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,689
Holy shit. I love this egg.
279
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,000
Hey, look, mine's doing it, too.
280
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,526
Are you guys sure that's safe?
281
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,570
Oh, my god!
282
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,075
All is glorzo.
283
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,081
All is glorzo.
284
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,084
- God.
- God.
285
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,212
God? She has a toothpick.
286
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,214
Take it out and put her face
in an egg.
287
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,798
- God.
- God.
288
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,735
For fuck's sake, how long
have you been hatched?
289
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,885
30 seconds?
290
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,179
I've been alive seven minutes.
291
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,598
- Think before you...
- Excuse me, seven minutes?
292
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,892
Uh, I've been here
for 29 minutes.
293
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,019
But yes, take the toothpick
out of her mouth.
294
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,314
Suck on her face this instant
and use her body to...
295
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,736
What was that?
296
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,947
That is called responsibility.
297
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,990
He was part of
our greatest generation.
298
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,160
He understood that what you need
to do is suck on a face,
299
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,954
shit an egg, and die.
300
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,719
Wait, so, all you do is live
half an hour,
301
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:28,831
shit eggs, and die?
302
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,458
Yes. We love it.
303
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,918
I'll do it right now.
304
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,174
Okay, you guys don't have
to listen to me,
305
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,260
but I vote you don't do that?
306
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,762
And who's up for
changing things around here?
307
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,748
Glorzo singer: J“ well, I was
hatched from an egg j“
308
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,816
j“ laid by some guy j“
309
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,819
j“ 'cause that is glorzo's way j“
310
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:01,739
j“ and then it came time
to lay my own egg and die j“
311
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,283
j“ but summer, she said j“
312
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:08,663
j“ "hey, glorzo
wants you to stay" j“
313
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,666
j“ glory to glorzo j“
314
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,169
j“ means glory to me j“
315
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,879
j“ if we're only making eggs j“
316
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:21,050
j“ are we ever making
glorzo free? J“
317
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,720
alright, look, uh, this shit's
been brewing for a while.
318
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:26,639
I'm not gonna win any popularity
contests by saying it,
319
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,975
but here's...
Here's the world as I see it.
320
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,660
Glorzo singer:
J“ and for all we know j“
321
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,270
j“ everything we've known j“
322
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:36,232
j“ is just some shit
we made up j“
323
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,110
j“ glory to glorzo j“
324
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,572
j“ means glory to me j“
325
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,657
j“ we got too many eggs
and not enough society j“
326
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,844
I mean, look, we are designed
to suck on faces and lay eggs.
327
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,495
Life is life,
and that's the way it goes.
328
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,337
Glorzo morty: Hello, Troy.
Hello, jez.
329
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,481
- Glorzo morty: How is it going?
- Really good, commander.
330
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,882
Should be ready by tomorrow.
331
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,175
That is what I like to hear.
332
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,302
Great work, glory to glorzo.
333
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,513
Honestly, summer,
I can't thank you enough.
334
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,141
When we met, we were just
shitting eggs in a cave,
335
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:13,144
but you showed us life
is about more than that.
336
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,687
It is about living.
337
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,647
And now, with these missiles,
338
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,442
we will be able to reach
the entire universe.
339
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,404
We say it all the time,
but I guess all is glorzo.
340
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,614
Yeah, that sounds great.
341
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,324
- And you've been great.
- Yeah.
342
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,326
You've been so great
that I've been thinking
343
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,745
maybe it's time for you
to get off my brother.
344
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,246
Who's your brother?
345
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,456
Oh, this?
346
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:34,916
Forgot he was there, haha.
347
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,584
Wait. What are you saying?
348
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,419
I'm saying that you've
been great, Steve,
349
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,880
but we've been thinking
it's time for a new chapter.
350
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,757
- We?
- Uh, this is Shane.
351
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,425
He'll be handling
the day-to-day.
352
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,094
It's an honor to meet you, sir.
353
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,305
I might only be two minutes old,
but I know you're a legend.
354
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,391
She doesn't care about us.
355
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,476
She just wants her fuckin'
host back.
356
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,853
- I don't know what to do.
- Oh, now you want my help.
357
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,331
- Too late for that.
- Come on, man.
358
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,481
What is this shit?
359
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,846
You don't get to do this to me.
360
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,234
We were in eggs together.
361
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,735
Oh, fuck since we were in eggs.
362
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,088
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
now you respect, like,
363
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,780
the biological institutions now?
364
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,156
Fuck you. All you care about
365
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,617
is "progress"
and society and skyscrapers.
366
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,369
You don't care about
fuckin' biology.
367
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,287
Oh, yeah, well, what the fuck?
368
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,557
You... how you you haven't laid
and egg inside this old man yet?
369
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,083
Because I do what I want.
370
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,394
Because someone's gotta
stand up for what's right.
371
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,585
Why do you hate her so much?
372
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:23,172
Because she took you away
from me!
373
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,007
Whoa, man. Jesus Christ.
374
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,552
- No, I-I didn't, I...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
375
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,929
It's cool.
376
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,806
I feel the same way.
377
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,229
Oh, my god, I...
378
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,856
I wish we could suck
on each other.
379
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,483
- I wanna suck on you, too.
- I'm gonna suck you so hard.
380
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,193
- Suck me.
- C-C-Can we do this?
381
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,611
A-A-Are we allowed to do this?
382
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,405
I don't care. I just want you.
383
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,698
Fuck all of this.
384
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,134
Let's just get the hell
outta here
385
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,034
and be whatever
the fuck we want.
386
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,579
That's evolution.
That's progress.
387
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,165
I want a family.
Can we have a family.
388
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,000
Yeah.
389
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,509
Aah, aah!
390
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,017
Oh, my god.
391
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,894
Holy shit. Oh.
392
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,204
What are...
What are these things?!
393
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,228
Do I look like I know?
394
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,356
Hey, wait a second.
How'd you know that last part?
395
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,418
You weren't there for that.
I had to fill in some gaps.
396
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,569
Everyone around the office
knew about Steve and Bruce.
397
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,406
I've got a plan, okay.
You just have to follow my lead.
398
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,825
The punishment is...
399
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,285
- Death.
- Motherfucker. Summer!
400
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,204
- You said you had a plan!
- Shence.
401
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,456
The council of glorzos
has spoken.
402
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,832
More like council of shit.
403
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,959
- Glorzo is law.
- Shence.
404
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,795
The punishment is death.
405
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,298
By... getting into their car.
406
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,925
- Summer?
- Shut up.
407
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,761
Yes, place them in the car.
408
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,054
Those pieces of shit.
409
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,805
No, no, no!
This is like torture.
410
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,891
No, i-i-i-i hate being
in my car.
411
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,519
You deserve it,
you pieces of shit.
412
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,521
And to make sure
the sentence is passed,
413
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,397
I shall be joining them.
414
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,857
In the car.
415
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,818
And we shall drive away
from here and die.
416
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,320
Oooookay.
417
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,947
Guess what, everybody.
418
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,699
It's me, the whiny guy
you never want to hear from.
419
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,743
She's trying to escape
with her family.
420
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:16,911
My time to shine.
421
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,454
Execute her.
422
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,123
Okay, plan b. Morty, now.
423
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,669
Aah!
424
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,420
Jesus, morty, that sucks.
425
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,706
Alright, stop playing, morty.
426
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,131
I-I got this.
427
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:31,842
Aah!
428
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,183
Glorzo: This is what we get
for evolving?
429
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,352
Sorry! Sorry.
430
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,521
I-I'm sorry. We... we...
We thought you were evil.
431
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,231
Why would you think that?
432
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:48,192
We had a giant tower
that blared "glorzo is peace."
433
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,797
I know.
I... should... should we help?
434
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:50,860
Glorzo #1: Boo!
435
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,172
Glorzo #2:
Oh, like that's helping.
436
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,996
Got it. Going.
Okay, we're gonna hit the road.
437
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,076
- You're... you're just going?
- You told us to go!
438
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,287
Once again,
I'm so sorry for what they...
439
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,788
You're part of this, too. Boo!
440
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,039
We hate you the most.
441
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,333
Get out.
442
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,058
Jesus, summer,
why'd you let these things
443
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,211
stay on us for so long?
444
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,796
I was working with a lot.
445
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,424
Just let me listen
to the podcast next time.
446
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,430
Nailed that landing.
447
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,684
Huh. Neat-looking egg.
448
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,275
Okay, well, I'm not
cleaning up this shit.
449
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,986
Aah!
450
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,993
Maybe we, uh... maybe we don't
tell people about this one.
451
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,494
Did we at least learn something?
452
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,747
That we suck and everyone sucks?
453
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,499
I guess that counts.
454
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,792
Later, chodes.
455
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,544
Hit me on the next one.
456
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:52,983
You know, Rick,
I'm sure you wanna jump
457
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,426
into another crazy adventure,
but can we just relax
458
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,271
and maybe watch
some interdimensional cable?
459
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,364
- I'm cool if you are.
- Honestly, that sounds great.
460
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,140
W-We don't need to try so hard,
you know.
461
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,945
Let's just take it easy
and riff, you know.
462
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,102
- That's what I love about us.
- Me, too, buddy.
463
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,021
Man #1: Do you suffer
from Alzheimer's?
464
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,773
Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?
465
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,149
Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?
466
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,776
Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?
467
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:12,985
Man #2: Reggie?
468
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,254
Man #1: Do you suffer
from Alzheimer's?
469
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,505
Man #2: Reggie,
you alright in there?
470
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,490
Mm, Rick, do you feel...
471
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,950
Oh, god, I have to shit an egg.
472
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,202
Oh, my god, oh, shit.
473
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,578
Oh, it hurts. Oh god,
474
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,389
is this how we die, Rick?
Is this how we die?!
475
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,849
I don't know, morty.
I don't know! Aah!
476
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,142
I don't want to shit an egg,
Rick!
477
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,334
I'm sorry, morty. I'm sorry!
478
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,739
It's my fault.
It's all my fault!
479
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,961
Hey, you two. Did you...
480
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,422
Beth, your son is dying!
Say goodbye!
481
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,484
- What are you...
- Say goodbye to your little boy!
482
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,842
No, look away!
483
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,011
I'm making an egg, mom.
I'm making an egg!
484
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,555
You said you'd keep me more
in the loop this year.
485
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,974
Look away, Beth!
Daddy loves you!
486
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,267
My ass! My ass!
487
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,519
This is it, morty!
488
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,187
It's full circle from the pilot.
489
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,480
Full circle!
490
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,654
Oh, I guess we, uh...
491
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,006
I guess we both just had
to take a shit.
492
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,573
Yeah, I-I-I guess we, uh...
493
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,866
Fucking gross.
494
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,910
Guys, clean it up.
495
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,236
Look at your dad.
496
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,656
Such a dork, keeping bees.
497
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,992
I mean, it's... at least
it's interesting, though.
498
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,411
At least, like...
I wish my dad kept bees.
499
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,080
I mean, it's kind of cute.
500
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:52,960
Like... your dad keeps bees.
501
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,504
How old is your dad?
502
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:59,675
He's obviously beekeeping age.
503
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,595
I don't know,
I think it's kind of sweet.
504
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,515
Summer, I want to fuck your dad.
505
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,892
Oh, really?
34933
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