Original subtitles

[theme music]

[male announcer] And now, here they are.

The most daredevil group of daffy drivers

to ever whirl their wheels in the Wacky Races.

Competing for the title

of the World's Wackiest Racer.

The cars are approaching the starting line.

First is the Turbo Terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rufus Ruff Cut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon

maneuvering for a position as the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is The Ant Hill Mob

in their Bulletproof Bomb.

And there's ingenious inventor

Pat Pending in his Convert-A-Car.

Oh, here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop

the glamour gal of the gas pedal.

Next, we have the Boulder Mobile

with the Slag brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coupe with the Gruesome Twosome

and right on their tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug

with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that Mean Machine

with those double-dealing do-badders

Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley.

And even now they're up to some dirty trick.

And they're off...

...to a standing start. And why not?

They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dastardly

who shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go

on the way-out Wacky Races!

[male announcer] Today, the Wacky Racers are slipping and sliding

through Ski Resort Country.

From Mush-Mush, Michigan, to Iceandsnow, Idaho.

Professor Pat Pending is performing

precariously out in front

with the Buzzwagon tagging along in second spot.

And the Boulder Mobile being peppered by ice cubes

in third place.

But what's this?

The Mean Machine is going the wrong way.

It's heading head-on for the other cars.

Oh, Dick Dastardly must have flipped his lid.

Flipped like a fox, Boopsie.

That car is a radio-controlled dummy

and it's loaded with dynamite.

[snickering]

[male announcer] Oh, this will be catastrophic.

Do something, Professor!

I am, I am.

[male announcer] The Convert-A-Car is changing into a...

...snowplow.

swoosh

Curse it! My dumb-dumb dummy didn't work!

Oh, no!

Boom

[theme music]

Muttley, do something.

Boing

[snickering]

Bam

[mumbling]

[male announcer] Now the cars are speeding up that straight slope

towards Avalanche Alley.

The Creepy Coupe is losing traction on the ice

and Little Gruesome shifts to dragon power

for a little flame action.

[sizzling]

It works! The ice is melting

and number 2 is gaining on the Slag Brothers.

[both screaming]

[mumbling]

Thump

[dragon crying]

Bam

[mumbling]

[male announcer] Dick Dastardly is running last

and as he sneaks up on the pack from the back

you could bet he has some dirty trick up his sleeve.

Not up my sleeve, Boopsie.

Up my hood. Ha-ha-ha.

A high charge.

[male announcer] W-what's a high charge?

Just the opposite of a depth charge.

Fire, Muttley.

[bomb fires]

Boom

[male announcer] Dirty Dick's done it again!

He blasted Avalanche Alley

and the pass is blocked with tons of ice and snow.

Ha-ha-ha.

[snickering]

[male announcer] Oh-oh, that was a dumb trick, Dastardly.

True, the others can't get down the mountain

but neither can you.

Oh, no?

Just cast your baby blue eyes down there.

[male announcer] A ski jump?

You're going down the ski jump?

Right into the valley, Boopsie. Ha-ha-ha.

[mumbling]

[male announcer] Ah-ha. It looks as if the other cars are coming up

the ski tow to use the jump too.

Curses! Can't those dumb-dumbs

think of any dirty tricks of their own?

Quick, Muttley.

Tie this rope to the bottom of the jump.

We will pull it down behind us as we go.

[snickering]

Hurry, dumb-dumb. Hurry.

And away we go!

Crash

Drat! It didn't work.

Thud

Double drat!

[snickering]

[male announcer] The other cars have made the ski jump easily.

As the cars battle through deep snow in the valley...

...The Ant Hill Mob has snow shoed into the lead.

[Clyde] March, yous mugs! March!

[male announcer] Now the Arkansas Chuggabug is moving up

using boiler power to melt the snow

and steams into the lead backwards.

crash

Crimson Haybaler is skidding lightly across snow on skis

while the heavy Surplus Six is sinking deeper and deeper.

Charge!

[male announcer] In the meantime, dirty Dick Dastardly has darted ahead

and is devising another diabolical deed

to delay the other dauntless drivers.

"Free hot chocolate! Stop and warm up!"

Ha-ha-ha. How can they resist?

[snickering]

Ha-ha-ha.

Hey, what're you slowing down for, Ding-A-Ling?

Uh, look, free hot chocolate, Clyde.

[tires screeching]

Ha-ha-ha.

Here they come for their hot chocolate.

Now for Operation Fast Freeze!

Turn on the water, Muttley.

[snickering]

One nice ice roadblock coming up.

Ha-ha-ha.

[Dick Dastardly] That's enough, Muttley.

Let's go.

Drat! The engine's so cold, it won't start.

[male announcer] Oh-oh, here comes Professor Pat Pending

too late to stop from hitting the ice roadblock.

That's alright, sonny.

I'll just convert into my Mix Master Ice Crusher.

[whirring]

Crash

[Dick Dastardly] Curses! Foiled again!

[male announcer] And the Wacky beat goes on

with the racers heading into the final lap

for Iceandsnow, Idaho.

Oh! It looks as if Penelope Pitstop

is out of the race with a frozen engine.

But, wait. She's switching on her hair dryer.

[steam hissing]

And there she goes, back in the running again.

The Buzzwagon is getting good traction action on the ice.

And Rufus Ruff Cut is making his move

to pass Turbo Terrific.

But Peter Perfect is driving hard.

Look out! He's going into a skid.

crash

Oh, fiddlesticks!

Beep beep

[male announcer] On our radar scope, we see the cars

twisting tortuously towards frozen Lake Otah.

Wait a minute, here comes one car

sneaking down bobsled sly.

Oh, naturally, it's tricky Dicky

on a bobsled.

Naturally! I find it much easier to think of dirty tricks

when I'm out in front. Ha-ha-ha.

[snickering]

[male announcer] The drivers are really pouring it on now

as they race through the lake.

The Buzzwagon has plowed its way into the lead.

Now Professor Pat Pending is converting

into a speedy snowmobile.

He passes number 6 number 10

and slides into the lead.

What's gonna happen to Dick Dastardly?

May we ask what you're up to, Dastardly?

Ask ahead, Boopsie.

[male announcer] Alright, what're you up to?

The cars have to cross frozen lake Otah

to reach the finish line, right?

[male announcer] Right.

if they can't cross the lake

they can't finish, right?

- Right. - Muttley, stomp on the ice.

[indistinct mumbling]

If there's anything I hate, it's a chicken dog.

Crash

Now, stomp!

Thump thump thump thump thump

[rumbling]

Crash

[stammering] Curses-s-s. Brr.

Curses-s-s.

[male announcer] Thanks to Dick Dastardly

it looks as if no one will get across the lake to finish.

But, wait, the Surplus Six is going to try

inflatable pontoon bridge power.

Fire away, Meekly.

Crash

[male announcer] Surplus Six makes it across.

And now the other cars are following.

[Dick Dastardly] Muttley-y, get me out of here-e-e!

[shuddering] Quick! Brr.

Splash

[grunting]

[shivering]

[snickering]

[male announcer] The crowd in Iceandsnow, Idaho, has braved zero weather

to witness the finish of this chilling thrilling race.

And here they come.

The Surplus Six and Buzzwagon are neck and neck.

And here comes Dastardly down the center line

sliding into the lead.

Muttley is making a supreme effort

to put his master across the finish line first.

Aa-ah-ah-ah-choo!

[male announcer] Oh, what a pity.

Dastardly has come to a stop just short of the finish line.

Here come the rest of the Wacky Racers.

And it's the Surplus Six crossing the finish line first.

Number 10, the Buzzwagon is second.

And number 3 the Convert-A-Car third.

Oh-ho, tough luck, Dastardly.

All that effort and nothing to show for it.

You have something to show for it? What?

I think I have a cold in my head.

Aa-ah-choo!

Gesundheit!

[snickers]

[male announcer] Today, our Wacky Race takes place over water

as our Wacky Racers are island-hopping down

Florida Overseas Hi-Way from Key Largo to Key West.

Surplus Six is sizzling along in the lead.

Penelope Pitstop in car number 5 is in second place.

And the Slag Brothers are rocking on in third place.

Oh, Dick Dastardly, trailing the leaders

is determined to pass them, but-but how?

By cheating. How else? Ha-ha-ha.

Watch!

[male announcer] Here comes the Mean Machine straddling the rails.

Dick Dastardly is now in the lead.

Ha-ha-ha, and I shall stay here.

- Better watch out, Dick! - Why?

[male announcer] You're approaching the end of the bridge.

Huh?

Yikes!

Bang

Drat and double drat!

[theme music]

[male announcer] And the cars race along Coconut Quay...

...Peter Perfect runs into some trouble...

...from the coconuts.

No problem. The Turbo Terrific can take anything.

Clang

[tires screeching]

[laughing] Except a coconut!

[male announcer] Reaching the end of Coconut island

the cars race over long bridge, to the next island.

And Red Max makes his move.

The Crimson Haybaler is now leading the pack.

So long, fellas!

[male announcer] Oh-oh, the bridge is raising.

bam

splash

[male announcer] Stopped by an open drawbridge

Big Gruesome shifts into alligator power.

And the Creepy Coupe continues on its way.

Professor Pat Pending changes his Convert-A-Car

into a speedboat.

splash

And follows the Creepy Coupe's lead.

Meanwhile, dirty Dick Dastardly

has shifted to submarine power and is gaining on the leaders.

Man the torpedoes, Muttley.

Fire one!

[Dick Dastardly] Fire two!

boom

Got 'em! Ha-ha-ha.

[male announcer] And so diabolical Dick via devious device

has once again taken the lead.

As Penelope Pitstop perambulates across Pirate Quay

the Slag brothers make their move to pass her.

clang

Oh, dear, I can't see a little ol' thing.

I'll help you, Penelope.

[tires screeching]

My, it seems to be stuck.

Thud

[rumbling]

Crash

Oh, shucks!

Thanks, Peter. You're really a lil' cutie pie.

Well, I'm-I'm glad I could be of assistance, Miss Penelope.

[male announcer] And so Penelope is back in the race.

Oh, fiddlesticks!

[male announcer] And Peter Perfect is back in the race, too.

Dick Dastardly has delayed long enough

to do a little bridge blocking.

Stay out of sight, Muttley.

Here they come.

Hey, sarge, look. The bridge is blocked.

Then we'll blast our way through.

Fire!

Boom

[sergeant blast] Charge!

Curses! Foiled again!

[snickering]

Stop snickering, you ridiculous dog! Or I'll--

[bites]

Yeow! A shark!

Muttley, do something.

[mumbling]

Hurry, Muttley. Hurry.

[mumbling]

Chomp

Nice work, Muttley.

That's using your head.

Crash

♪♪

[snickering]

[mumbling]

[male announcer] Our radar scope shows the cars

battling for position as they skim from island to island.

beep beep beep

Woops, the Roaring Plenty missed a bridge.

Alright, yous guys, take a deep breath and get going.

[male announcer] And the Ant Hill Mob is back in the race.

The cars are crossing Sombrero Quay now

and the Creepy Coupe is trying to pass the Arkansas Chuggabug.

Big Gruesome shifts to dragon power.

swoosh

crash

thud

[clanking]

Oh, shucks!

[male announcer] Meanwhile, dirty Dick Dastardly has another despicable scheme.

Yes, a three million horsepower

fake hurricane machine.

I'll blow the other racers off the island and into the ocean.

Ha-ha-ha.

Here they come, Muttley. Start the machine.

Hurry, Muttley. Hurry.

[mumbling]

You dummy head! You let them all go by.

Rumble

Not now, Muttley.

Help!

Snap

Stop the machine, Muttley!

Stop the machine!

[snickering]

[mumbling]

[male announcer] Wacky Racers are burning the asphalt

as they near the finish line in Key West.

[sizzling]

Penelope Pitstop is in the lead.

But The Surplus Six gets in a triple track...

...and passes Penelope.

Professor Pat Pending uses turbo power.

And starts coming up fast.

Dick Dastardly is using the hurricane machine

for wind power now and it looks like nothing can stop him!

The Mean Machine passes everyone

and Dick Dastardly takes the lead.

Nothing can stop me now.

Ha-ha-ha.

[male announcer] And at the finish line, it's...

crash

crash

Dick Dastardly has not crossed the finish line.

And Peter Perfect in car number 9 wins the race.

The Slag Brothers in car number 1 come in second

and number 5 the Compact Pussycat

comes in third.

Oh-ho-ho. Too bad, Dastardly.

You almost made it.

[sobbing]

Please, Mr. Dastardly.

Uh, we don't like to see a grown man cry. He-he-he.

Do we, Muttley?

[snickering]

[male announcer] And they're off again

the Wacky Race goes on and on.

Each driver determined to win

maneuvering for position, looking for the opening

that will put him in the lead.

The Ant Hill Mob uses getaway power.

Red Max in the Crimson Haybaler makes his move.

The Arkansas Chuggabug uses jet power.

And the Creepy Coupe pours it on with dragon power.

Oh, it's going to be a great race, folks.

Hey, wait a minute.

Stop!

crash

This race starts next week.

Next week?

That means I'll get a good start on the others.

Bam

Drat! Drat! And double drat!

[snickering]