All language subtitles for The Avengers S03E23 1080p WEB DL H264 BTN_track3_[eng]

MAN 1: Would you do me
the honour, old boy?

I could do with a bit of practice.
- With pleasure.

BOTH GRUNTING

MAN 1: Touche. Good hit.

MAN 2 SCREAMS

MAN 2 GROANS

JOHN: Well, they're having
another purge.

Mm.

The other side,
our worthy opponents.

HE CHUCKLES

It says here he was
a German businessman.

Well, that's what it says.

HE GRUNTS
I learned the truth earlier today.

From one of your
undisclosed sources.

HE CHUCKLES

- Alas, poor George.
- You knew him?

I knew him well. Georgie Vinkel
is one of their top agents.

Funny, it's the second one
they bumped off this month.

Wonder if they're going
through a phase.

Rather a theatrical murder,
wasn't it?

I don't see the thespian qualities
of a rubbish dump.

No, I mean, the method,
killed by the thrust of a rapier.

Oh, well, maybe they're economising
on ammunition.

They do sometimes, you know.

Oh, did I tell you about that time
when we went to the...

Hey, you've got a short.

I've got a visitor.
It's my patent alarm system.

It's wired to the front door.
Quick, he's breaking in.

- Steed.
- Oh, well now.

All right, Martin.
Your manners are still appalling.

CATHERINE: You know him?

He's one of their happy little band.
They weren't economising. Get up!

I think I deserve an explanation.
- My orders are to kill you.

Were, old fellow, were.

Do get your tenses right
and do sit down.

Thank you.

Oh, why do you wanna kill me?

I always thought we were
the best of enemies.

You know why. Because of Vinkel.

Oh, good old Georgie Vinkel.

Yes, I was reading
about him in the paper, poor fellow.

You don't think that I did it.
- Who else?

But that's impossible.

He was killed with a foil.
My weapon is a sabre.

Anyway, Mrs Gale and I spent
the weekend in Morocco.

You're slipping.
I only got back a few hours ago.

- You can check.
- Of course, he can.

I met a friend of yours out there,
big fellow, moustache, garlic.

Otto.

That's right. Well, he'll tell you.

It can be so easily checked,
you wouldn't lie about it.

JOHN CHUCKLES
So, you didn't kill Vinkel?

No, I haven't killed anyone
all week.

Then who did?

- We thought your lot did.
- Why should we kill our top man?

- What about Nabors a few weeks ago?
- Your people killed him.

- We thought that you did.
- No.

Our wires are certainly getting
crossed up, double-crossed.

Or triple-crossed.

Maybe somebody's playing you off,
one against the other.

Give it back.

Uh-uh. Mustn't be a spoilsport.

Now, Martin, I think we better get
all this straightened out.

Take me to your leader.

Colonel, please, will you listen?

Colonel, I tell you
it's impossible to infiltrate

the Horse Guards in this country.

Our men don't have
the necessary connections.

And besides, you know our funds
are not generous.

If it was
the Pioneer Corps now, we...

Yes, Colonel.
No. I have no wish to be recalled.

Bah! My loyalty
has never been in question.

KELLER SNIFFING
Anyway, colonel,

anyway, we will infiltrate
the Horse Guards...

..perhaps with a horse.

EYELIDS CLICKING

Now you just mind these stairs.

Thanks.

- Steed.
- Hello, Keller.

Steed, my dear fellow,
what a pleasure to see you again.

HE LAUGHS

I told you to kill him.
- He had nothing to do with Vinkel.

- I was abroad at the time.
- MARTIN: It's true. I checked.

All the same,
perhaps one of your colleagues?

No, it wasn't one of ours.
I'd have known.

That's ridiculous.
I mean, if you didn't kill him

and we didn't,
well, that supposes...

A third party...

..an organisation opposed
to both of us.

But for what purpose?

Steal secrets, create mayhem,
sell to the highest bidder.

Oh, but that's unethical.

Unethical or not,
that's what we're up against,

a mutual enemy.

Oh! Oh, that's outrageous,
scandalous!

I never heard anything so dishonest.

HE SNIFFS
A bunch of amateurs.

Well, I'd hardly say that, you know.

Huh! Infamy! Infamy!
What are we going to do?

Steed wants to call a truce.

Can't you see they're trying
to drive a wedge between us?

We should pool our resources.

- You mean work together?
- Why not?

- You and me?
- We've always been very close.

HE CHUCKLES

Oh, no. Headquarters
would never agree to that.

They already have.
I called them on my way here.

- You went over my head?
- I considered the situation urgent.

Anyway, they're all for it.

They're sending you
a directive to that effect.

So, it's pax for the moment.

KELLER CHUCKLING
For the moment.

Well, this calls for a drink.

Do you know this takes me
all back to old times, Keller?

Remember Vienna?
- Remember? I still smell it.

Of course.
HE LAUGHS

You were in that
weird little pension

next door to the fish market,
so I can understand that.

No, no. Well, the expenses
they allowed me

did not permit me to...

And you in the Heldorf Hotel
in the lap of luxury.

HE LAUGHS

But then, of course
you paid for that

out of your own pocket, right?
- What a naive thought.

- You mean that was all on expenses?
- Naturally.

"England expects" and all that.

We have to maintain
a certain standard, you know.

Oh... Oh, and if I so much as ask
for a new office chair...

KELLER GRUNTING

Ah, but, wait a minute.
What about that baccarat game?

Now, you lost 800 marks,
surely, that was...

- Expenses.
- And the champagne party?

- Expenses.
- And the private plane to Berlin?

- Expenses!
- And the blonde?

Expensive.

KELLER LAUGHING
Oh. Oh, yes, those were the days.

HE CHUCKLES

Do you remember the Swede,
big fellow?

- Aah.
- Tremendous sense of humour.

BOTH LAUGHING

The day he stepped into the lift.
- And you had removed the bottom.

Yeah! He laughed all the way down...

..13 floors.

Tremendous sense of humour,
splendid chap.

I still carry the scarred bullet.
- Pretty good.

He went down with a nail.

Oh, my dear, Sir, I'm so sorry.
I was just a bit premature. Here.

Ah. Hey, since we're gonna
be working together, Keller,

I think I ought to tell you,
you know, that he's dead.

- Oh?
- I've never seen her.

Oh, and he's retired.
He's taken up horticulture.

- Well, thank you very much.
- It's a pleasure.

- Well... to our new alliance.
- To our new alliance.

Ah! Now, then...
Ah. Whom will you send us?

Pool our resources, work together,
was your idea. Well...

..I suggest that we send someone
along to assist you,

and you send someone
along to assist Martin.

- A hostage.
- No, a sign of good faith,

and to make sure
there's no funny business.

I'm afraid we cannot
proceed without one, eh?

Can you provide someone?

Yes.

Excellent! Well, the exchange
can take place where, erm,

your place later today?
- Absolutely fine. Very well.

Er, it's going to be a pleasure
working with you, Steed.

- Cheerio. Bye.
- Dosvedanya.

BOTH LAUGHING
Goodbye.

Oh, thank you very much, Martin.

Oh!

JOHN GRUNTS

JOHN LAUGHING

Who are you going to give him?
Which of our operators?

Don't be stupid, Martin.
You don't seriously imagine

I would deliver one
of our people to Steed.

- Then... then who?
- We find someone.

A woman perhaps.

Yes. Steed always likes
working with a woman.

I congratulate you, Steed.

Getting them to agree to this truce
shows real diplomatic flair.

Thank you, my dear.

You must have
given them quite a line.

I, er, I gave them
a little more than that.

Oh?

HE LAUGHS
Something more tangible.

Money, you mean?

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

It wasn't money. What was it?

- I've drowned it.
- No.

- Look, there's plenty more here.
- No.

- Steed?
- Mm?

Did you make them some rash promise?

It's the most
wonderful opportunity, my dear.

What is?

Well, to see how
their side works, you know.

HE LAUGHS
Very good experience.

I think you'll enjoy it.
- I'll enjoy it?

Steed, what did you give them?

- I gave them you.
- Me?

Well, not outright, of course,
not as a sort of present.

An attempt to learn
and bridge the gap.

You'll be a sort of bond.
Hmm. Well, it's a fair exchange.

They've given me someone, too.

Wonder who I'll get.

Well, it all sounds
awfully thrilling.

And, Miss Lawrence,
you do understand

that the assignment
will be an unusual one.

It's work. That's all that matters.

Yes. You see, we're a firm
of publishers.

- Really?
- Oh, this is the art department.

The problem is this chap Steed,

a fearfully decent type...
- Oh, fearfully, fearfully.

But he's a bit eccentric.
He's a writer.

- A method writer.
- Yes. Yes, he's a method writer.

- Method?
- Yes.

Er, he has to get right
into his plots.

You see, he can't put pen to paper

until he's actually lived
the whole plot.

I see.

At the moment,
he's writing a spy story.

Yes. And, er, we have
to provide a background for him,

and that's where you come in.
- As what?

- A top agent.
- Ooh.

No, really, we just want you
to keep an eye on him,

you know, make sure he doesn't
get into any trouble.

- And if he does?
- Well, then you let us know.

It's just a question
of feeling your way,

shouldn't be difficult
for someone in your profession.

It would mean a lot
of ad-libbing, of course.

You know, making it up
as you go along.

BOTH CHUCKLING

But then, according to your files,
you have plenty of experience.

Well, it's all in the blood really.

I mean, we Lawrences do go back
to the 17th century.

Really?

KELLER CHUCKLES

- Well, what do you think?
- Steed will like her.

Tell me, what's he like?

Well, apart from being,
you know, you said,

a bit eccentric?
- Oh, charming.

But utterly ruthless.

Steed, I am not yours
to swap and barter.

Of course not, Mrs Gale.

What do you think you're running,
a slave market?

Yeah... Oh, no, of course I'm not.

Look, I thought
you'd grasp at the chance...

..chance of working
cheek-by-jowl with Martin.

My cheek is going
nowhere near his jowl.

Now, Mrs Jowl... Mrs Gale, look,
this is a job of work. I need you.

You can't let me down now.
- Give me one good reason why not.

I'll give you two.
DOORBELL CHIMES

Now, they're coming now.
The first thing is

you can find out how
the other side works.

Now, unless you're there,

we shan't get a crack
at this third party.

They're at our throats already.

We have got to collaborate,
and I cannot do it without you.

DOORBELL CHIMING

Now I see how you got them
to agree to that truce.

But you're a sly, cunning,
devious, scheming...

Splendid. I'll let them in.
DOORBELL CHIMING

Happy smile. Want him to like you.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Hello.

Mr Steed,
may I introduce Kim Lawrence?

John Steed, from us to you.

With love, of course. How do you do?

Very well.

Mm. May I have it back
or are you going to read my palm?

Do come in.

- Oh, you must be Mrs Steed.
- No, Mrs Gale.

Oh, I see.

Well, Mr Steed,
we've kept our part of the bargain.

- Of course. You know Mrs Gale.
- Yes, of course. She's your choice?

Couldn't keep her out of it. Ha!

I shall enjoy working
with you, Mrs Gale.

It'll make a pleasant change.

Definitely would.

Ahem. Now, if you'll just sign this.

- Eh?
- The receipt...

..for Miss Lawrence.
- Oh.

Aren't you going to read it?

I think it's all in order.

JOHN: I'll check
the inventory later.

Shall we go?

Aren't you forgetting something?

I want the movements of Vinkel.
You know, I gotta start somewhere.

Vinkel had only been
in the country 24 hours.

During that time, he made one call,
at this address.

- Thank you very much.
- I suggest you begin there.

I will indeed. Goodbye.

Oh, and congratulate Keller
on his excellent taste, will you?

That's a very good painting.
Is it you?

It's my great-grandfather.

- Will you have a drink?
- Not before sundown.

Of course,
you could draw the curtain.

HE CHUCKLES

- How much did Keller tell you?
- Oh, nothing you wouldn't like.

I suppose he warned you
to be on your guard.

My mother did that, when I was 12.

DOOR OPENS

Mr Harrap won't keep you
waiting long.

Will you take a seat?
- MARTIN: Thank you.

- What is this place?
- I don't know.

- Then what are we doing here?
- Vinkel came here.

It was one of several calls
he made the day he died.

One of several? You told Steed...

I must keep something
in reserve, Mrs Gale.

Even when you've agreed to a truce?

Yes, but a little cheating.
A tiny edge over the other fellow.

That's expected.
I'm sure Steed expects it.

Where else did Vinkel go that day?

You know, Mrs Gale,
it really is a great pleasure

to meet you like this.
I've admired you for some time.

Thank you. Where else did Vinkel go?

Vinkel? Oh, here, the address
I gave Steed, a place in Pimlico.

Mrs Gale... do you realise
it was at my instigation

that you were removed
from our wanted list?

Wanted list?

Oh, yes, you're on it,
second from top, right behind JB.

But I persuaded them...

Well, it was unthinkable
that a woman like you...

We were talking about Vinkel.

- Vinkel?
- Well?

Well, he came over here
to find out someth...

Good. Then we'll expect
to see you again tomorrow.

Thank you.

MAN: Excuse me.

MAN: Thank you.

ASSISTANT: Now, then,
who's next, please?

The lady was first.

HE CLEARS THROAT
ASSISTANT: Mr Harrap?

Oh, good afternoon. Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon.
- May I have your name, please?

- Mrs Gale.
- Take a seat, Mrs Gale.

You're, er, not a regular
patient of mine, are you?

No. You were recommended to me.

Oh! One can't have
too many recommendations

by word of mouth...
BOTH CHUCKLE

..if you'll forgive the little joke.

Which of my patients was it,
may I ask?

Vinkel, George Vinkel.

Oh, what seems to be
the trouble, Mrs Gale?

Oh, no trouble.
I just wanted a check-up.

Well, now, that shouldn't
take us long, should it, Mr Harrap?

- Oh, no, er, no time at all.
- Do you know him?

No, I don't recall
a patient of that name.

Do you, Mr Harrap?

Mind you, we have
so many on our books.

OK. Open wide.

SHOPKEEPER HUMMING A TUNE

SHOP BELL JINGLING

- Good morning, Sir.
- Good morning, good morning.

I want a tie for the club.

Oh, yes, I can do that, Sir.
Club, regiment or school.

This way, Sir.

- Likely place.
- Likely for what?

Good cover for Mr B.

Now, here, now, now.
Horace J Cleeves is at your service.

Now, this tie, Sir,
an established club, I hope.

I don't touch anything frivolous.
- Well, actually...

I had a gentleman
in here the other day...

HE SCOFFS
..a gentleman...

More of a person, really...

Wanted a tie
for the Pint and Knight Club.

But, you, er,
I can see you're Eton, Sir,

so what club would it be?
No, no, no, don't... don't tell me.

I like to guess.

- Er, Whyte's?
- No.

Athenaeum? No, no, no, that's not...
Boodle's. Oh, yes, yes,

you're very definitely
Boodle's, Sir.

Er, blackballed.
Now, the cl... The tie that I want

is for an old established
sporting club. Now...

- I don't touch anything...
- Frivolous. No, I know that.

- It's a very exclusive club.
- Ah.

The Old Irascibles
Fencing & Tottering Club.

- Old Irascible?
- It's fearfully old.

Fencing & Tottering? Tottering?

Oh, I see. Er, well, you see,

we do a spot of fencing,
and then we do a spot of tott...

Well, you know what I mean,
drinking, heh.

I can't say I've ever
heard of it, Sir.

I shall have to check my records.

I'm terribly sorry.
I've set you rather a poser.

Hey, what's
with this fencing business?

A shot in the dark.
Vinkel was killed by the sword...

I know what you think!
You don't think he's the one...

- Yes, I do.
- Oh. But he's so old.

Yes, he is.
SHE CHUCKLES

You seem to think
this is all one big joke.

- Well, isn't it?
- Where did you learn your job?

School of Hard Knocks.
It's the best way, isn't it?

I was born into it, really.
My family taught me.

Your father and mother were in it?

Oh, yes. They were both
in the business.

Well, everyone was in my family,
aunts, uncles, brothers, cousins.

- All?
- All.

No, there isn't much I haven't done.

SHE SCOFFS
Well, don't look so surprised.

After all, I did start
when I was five.

- Five?
- Assisting my great-grandmother.

Your great-grandmother was in it?

Oh, yes. She was a sweet old lady,
terribly good with a knife...

..and stamina.

Do you know she went on working
till she was over 89?

HE EXHALES
Hey!

Don't seem to have any trace
of the Old Irascibles.

- Oh, dear.
- There's the Old Untouchables,

but that's an Indian regiment.

I think I'll take one of these.
Thank you.

Very good, sir.

Hey, what a fine selection
of swagger sticks.

Yes. That's nice.
But this is the pick of the bunch

if you have an eye
for hand-tooled silver...

En garde.

Ah, you've done a bit. I thought so.

Erm, long time ago, sir.

But old habits die hard.
You keep in trim, then?

Well, my bones are
a little stiff these days.

Ah.
JOHN CHUCKLES

KIM HUMMING
JOHN SNAPPING FINGERS

I thought that Vinkel said
you'd fenced.

Sir?

Georgie Vinkel,
he's a terrific swordsman.

Of course, you know him.
He's a customer of yours.

Vinkel? That's a foreign
name, isn't it?

That's right. He was in here
the other day.

Thick-set Jerry. For that, how much?

Twenty five shillings, Sir.

I don't recall anybody
of that description.

- Oh.
- Will that be all?

That'll be all.

And there is one pound
and five shillings.

I may be back, you never know.

Come along, my dear.
You must be hungry.

- Mm.
- That's a good girl.

Good day, Sir.

Your teeth are
in excellent condition, Mrs Gale.

Really, there was no need
to see me at all.

Oh, well, I like to be
on the safe side.

- Yes, don't we all?
- Thank you very much, Mr Harrap.

Oh, er, I must have made a mistake.
About George Vinkel?

I probably got
the addresses mixed up.

Yes, Mrs Gale.
You must have made a mistake.

Hasn't she, Mr Harrap?

Martin?

LOCK CLICKS OPEN

- Look, I-I...
- Shh. Shh. Shh.

Aren't you breaking into this shop?

- Well, he's gone to lunch.
- Why, this... this is burglary.

- Breaking and entering.
- Wh... What?

Breaking and entering,
that's the correct term.

Oh. Well, whatever it's called,
it's very illegal.

We'll both end up in Holloway.
- You think there's a chance?

SHE MUMBLES

Oh.

KIM: Oh!

Where are... Oh! Oh, honestly.

Honestly, Keller told me
you were a bit strange.

Don't believe him,
pathological liar.

HE SNAPS FINGERS
You're not helping.

- Well, it's awfully dusty here.
- What of our bargain?

Oh, well, what do you want me to do?

Have a look in the back room.

- Mr Steed.
- Yes.

What am I supposed
to be looking for?

- Clues.
- Clues?

Oh, clues.

Oh, yes. Will do.
SHE CHUCKLES

Roedean?

Yes, well, what it boils down to,
Mrs Gale is you have lost Martin.

I haven't lost him.
He ran out on me.

I hardly think that is likely.
My men do not run out.

Except possibly
on your instructions.

My dear, there must be
a mutual trust between us.

I agree. So I suggest you start
by telling me where Martin is.

I do not know.
But I suspect your Mr Steed does.

This whole thing bears
the hallmarks of his style.

Why don't you call him?

DIALLING NUMBER

Away we go then.

Oh, not another trip
to that dusty old place.

Yours not to reason why. Ready?

SHE GRUNTS

TELEPHONE RINGING

- Hello.
- Steed?

'Yep.'

- I'd like to know what's going on?
- 'Are you all right?'

Yes, of course, I'm all right.

- Have you see Martin?
- Martin? Have you lost him then?

He's disappeared.

- 'Where are you?'
- I'm at Keller's place.

'Is he there with you?'

'No, no, no, I haven't seen him.
I was waiting for him at his club.'

- What do you think, Keller?
- Well...

Has he been in touch with you?

No, I haven't heard one word,
not one word.

Hello? Hello?

Don't want to overload Steed
with information, do we?

RECEIVER SLAMS DOWN
Ow!

Well... I will make further
inquiries about Martin.

In the meantime, I take it
you have no objection

to keeping to your side
of the bargain.

You will remain here
until Martin is found.

- Very well.
- Thank you.

It's not that I don't
trust you, Mrs Gale.

My motto is trust everybody, but...
HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE

..always cut the cards.

KELLER CHUCKLING

KEY TURNING IN LOCK

NO DIAL TONE

CATHERINE CLICKING HANDSET

- KELLER: 'He's a writer.'
- MARTIN: 'A method writer.'

KELLER: 'Yes, that's it,
a method writer.'

KIM: 'Method?'

KELLER: 'Yes, he has
to get right into his plots.

'You see, he can't put pen to paper

'unless he's actually
lived the whole plot.'

KIM: 'Oh, I see.'

AUDIO CONTINUES PLAYING

Forty...

..half a dozen... ten blazers...

One...
SHOP BELLS JINGLING

MAN: Halt.

HORACE: Good afternoon, gentlemen.
It's all ready for you,

if you'll just sign for it.

Just here.

Thank you.

- Oh, it's you again.
- It jolly well is.

That tie you sold me,
do you realise what it is?

It's the Wapping Voluntary.

Not only a regiment of the line,
but foot soldiers.

Never.

- Wapping?
- Wapping.

- But it's impossible.
- I suggest you check your records.

Well, yes, right away.

So...

Pimlico, huh?

- Where are we off to now?
- We're gonna follow them.

Would it be awfully bad form
to enquire why?

Martin's body is in that box.

Ask a silly question...

Remember what we've learnt
about the hailing of the taxicab.

Our first task is to stand out
from the hurly burly of the menials.

Let us not forget
that competition is fierce,

especially during
the rainier season.

So, first of all, presence.
Presence.

Feet firmly apart,
balanced lightly on the toes,

shoulders squared.
Hold the umbrella in the right hand.

We are now ready to hail our cab.
The eye must select its objective.

Fix and hold the target
with a steady eye.

Judge the speed of its approach,
assess competitors nearby,

and, 1, 2, 3, hail.

Take your time from me,
gentlemen, please.

1, 2, 3, hail!
Square your shoulders, Bitler.

1, 2, 3, hail!
Withers, we are waggling.

We are waggling when we
should be thrusting.

We have been told about
waggling before.

Thrust, men, thrust. That's better.

Through there.

All right. Get rested.

And how are we getting on

with the retrieval
of the dropped handkerchief?

Let me see the gentleman
go through his paces, Miss Betty.

Allow me.

Hmm. Superb. Absolutely superb, Sir.

Notice the pure economy
of movement, gentlemen,

and the smile, observe the smile,

playing, just playing
round the lips.

- Well, my congratulations, Sir.
- Thank you very much.

I'm Mr Edgar, the principal
of this establishment.

To whom do I have
the honour of speaking?

I'm John Steed,
and I introduce Miss Lawrence.

Honoured to make
your acquaintance now.

Mr Steed, but what
are you doing here?

Clearly, you could have
no need of my services.

I mean, the cut of your coat
to the run of your tie,

I'm... I'm lost in admiration.

So am I. Lost, I mean.

- Ma'am?
- What is this place?

Oh, this, ma'am,
is an academy of charm

for aspiring young gentlemen.
We take the raw material

and believe me, sometimes it is
very raw indeed.

And we turn the mere man
into a gentleman.

We endeavour to impart them
with those qualities

that some of us were lucky enough
to be born with, eh, Mr Steed?

JOHN: Do you have much success?

EDGAR: Aye, that's all
I can do is to try,

then if I may come
to some small success,

I feel I've made some contribution.

Half a loaf is better than low-bred.
BOTH CHUCKLE

- Mr Edgar, why...
- The mask? My own idea.

Miss Betty is young and pretty,

and we don't want that
to influence my pupils.

The true gentleman
respects all women,

whatever their age or assets.
Isn't that so, Mr Steed?

We wouldn't be influenced
by a pretty face.

Well, of course not.

But you still haven't told me, Sir,
the purpose of your visit.

- It's, er, rather confidential.
- Oh, come to the office.

Miss Betty,
will you carry on, please?

Er, this way, Mr Steed
and Miss Lawrence.

JOHN: Thank you very much.

Now, Sir...

- I am looking for a friend.
- Is he a pupil?

Possibly. His name is Vinkel.

EDGAR: It doesn't strike a chord.

No, I can safely say,
I have no-one of that name.

- I have a photograph.
- No, I have never seen this man.

- Must be misinformed.
- Sorry I can't help you, Mr Steed.

Well, we better travel along.

KIM SCREAMS
Oh!

Oh! Oh! I've lost it.

I've lost my own bowler.
It looks like you've raided the...

We start our gentlemen off
right, Mr Steed.

Ah, yes, if you start ahead, it's...
Ooh!

Is anything the matter, Mr Steed?

He's been
a bit light-headed all day.

I've been under a little strain.

Come and have a drink,
you'll soon feel better.

- Thank you very much, my dear.
- Thank you very much, Mr Edgar.

My pleasure, Miss Lawrence.
JOHN GROANS

JOHN: My pleasure.

Charming man. Have you ever
seen him before, Miss Betty?

No, Mr Edgar... no, never.

KEY TURNING IN LOCK

If you please, Mr Keller.
Now get down there.

- Mrs Gale, your agreement.
- I've decided to go back to Steed.

- Huh?
- You know, Steed,

"The method writer.
He's a bit eccentric."

- Oh, pardon me, Mrs Gale.
- That girl you sent Steed

was just an actress, an actress
you hired for the occasion.

- I fully...
- You didn't even begin

to keep your side
of the bargain, did you?

So I think that absolves me
from keeping mine.

Working with you...
KEYS CLANK

..has been an experience.

KEY TURNING IN LOCK

HE GRUNTS

NO DIAL TONE

HE CLICKS THE RECEIVER

- Do you do a lot of writing?
- Mm, an old aunt in Eastbourne,

a few fellas from the war,
I keep in touch occasionally.

- You are funny.
- I wonder what they did with it.

- Did with what?
- Martin's body.

Martin? Oh, Mr Steed,

you're not still
on about that, honest?

Well, it's a problem, surely one
you've come up against before.

A disappearing corpse?

Well, it's old as the hills,
isn't it?

You know... I remember once
in Cardiff, we had three,

two in a window seat

and the other one wrapped up
in brown paper parcels.

- Brown paper parcels.
- The pieces.

Dismembered, my dear.
Simply gorgeous.

They never found the head.
I had that in my sewing basket.

I think it's gonna rain.
Do you think that too?

Drawing on your bountiful
experience of bodies,

do you think you could
help me over Martin's death?

Oh, all right, then.
Come on, let's play your game.

Well, first
there's a body in the crate

and then no body.

We followed the wrong one.

He's in the other crate.
Will that do?

- Er, what other crate?
- In the back of that shop.

Well, do you remember you told me
to go in and look for clues?

Well, I did, and...
Well, this did seem to me,

well, very clue-like.

You see, it had such
a peculiar address.

And I thought to myself,
well, heavens,

what would a dentist want
with a crate full of bowler hats?

- There... that's the lot.
- We ought to test them.

Don't worry. I guarantee they can
all transmit up to 20 miles,

all in first-class order.

That's more than what
can be said for you.

You want to get a grip on yourself.

What about that woman,
eh, Mrs Gale? What about her?

- She didn't get anything from us.
- No, but she suspected, didn't she?

You're breaking up, Harrap.
The boss wouldn't like that.

DOOR OPENS
MAN: Over there.

For goodness sake,
I... I've just finished one batch.

Look, that's all. Enough is enough.

I'm not a machine. I'm tired.
- This is different.

- No.
- The boss says yes.

No. I won't.
Equipment is my line, not that.

The boss says yes!

KIM: Oh, my goodness.

- JOHN: In you go, my dear.
- KIM: I have to be...

- What is it?
- It's that man, Steed and the girl.

- They were out at the school today.
- What did I tell you?

WHISPERS: You know what to do.
You know.

All you do is ask
a few subtle questions

and watch for the reaction.
- I'm positive my... contract

made no provision whatsoever
for anything like that.

Now, what you have to say is,
"I was recommended by a friend."

I was recommend...
er, just a minute.

I-I was recommended by a friend.

- What's his name?
- What's his na...

Oh... Winkle or something.

- Vinkel.
- Vinkel, Vinkel.

- Who's next?
- It's the young lady.

- I-I was recommended by a...
- Leave that.

We were on the baked Alaska,
and then a sudden twinge.

I thought I'd better bring her
along right away.

Next time, don't worry. I shall read
the very smallest print.

Cool eyes and chin up.

I... I was recommended by a friend.

Open wide.
SHE MUMBLES

Hold still.

Miss Smythe.
- KIM: Uh-oh.

SHE GRUNTS

GAS HISSING

- Steed.
- Ah, Mrs Gale.

There's good news.
Mafeking's been relieved.

You won't find anything here.
I've already tried.

I just came to tell you,
you've been double-crossed.

What do you mean?

That girl they sent you,
Kim Lawrence,

she hasn't any idea
what this is all about.

They told her some tale
about you being a writer.

She's really an actress.

An actress?

That explains great-grandmama,
the head in the sewing basket.

Let's see.

Have you seen Martin?

- Martin's dead.
- How do you know?

I found him in a tub
full of bowler hats.

Do you know that drill
hasn't stopped once?

It'll do you little use,
Miss Lawrence.

The bonds of the old school tie
are well nigh impossible to break.

- Did you call him?
- Yes. We're to move her.

But it was dangerous enough
getting her here.

Those are his orders.
This place is finished.

We're not to use it any more.

HE SIGHS
Better get some help.

Well, put her out of sight first.
Get that crate.

KIM TRYING TO SPEAK

Oh, if anything's happened to her...

I sent her in there, do you see?
She didn't know. She's not a pro.

She didn't know what
she was getting into.

That was Keller's fault, not yours.

I sent her in.

Now, where would they
have taken her?

Where, where, where,
where, where, where, where?

Did you find anything
at all from Martin?

- Nothing that made any sense.
- Try me.

Well, he talked a bit about Vinkel.

Steed, I think Vinkel was here
on a very special assignment.

Of course, he was. He was after
the man that we're after.

I guessed that from the start,
the third party.

What else did Martin say?

He said something
about an establishment in Pimlico.

Does that mean anything to you?
- The charm school, of course.

Everything leads back there.
Now, if they did that with Martin,

they'll do the same with Kim.

Phone Keller, tell him to come
to this address within the hour,

and tell him
to be prepared for trouble.

You're gonna use Keller
after he tricked you?

Yep. I'm gonna use Keller
and within the hour.

- Then what?
- You come as well.

Don't go away.

MAN: Halt. Stand easy.

HAMMERING

MAN: Right... lift...

..and forward.

The grasp of the umbrella
is extremely important, gentlemen.

The fingers folded so,

the forefinger aligned
with the shaft,

the grip, firm but relaxed.
The eye fixed on the target,

the feet lightly poised.
Are you ready, gentlemen?

1, 2, 3,

kill! Parry, recover.

Take your time from me,
gentlemen, please.

1, 2, 3, kill! Parry, recover.

Excellent, Dixon. Excellent.
Nice deadly style.

Again, gentlemen.

1, 2, 3, kill! Parry, recover.

No, no, no, Peter,
we are not robbing a balloon.

We are killing the enemy.
All right. At ease, gentlemen.

We will now practice
the short stab in the back...

..otherwise known as
"show business."

In there, gentlemen, please.

Attention! Now, listen, gentlemen,
grasp your umbrellas...

Now, with our eyes fixed
firmly on our adversary,

you creep forward.

Creep, creep, creep,

creep, creep.

- EDGAR: Creep...
- Right, gentlemen, follow me.

EDGAR CONTINUES INSTRUCTING

How do you feel?

Like someone who's been tied up
and dumped in a box.

I'll get you out here in a jiffy.

- Oh.
- What is it?

Heh, my old regiment. Oh. All right.

Pimlico...

..yes.

Well, congratulations, Mrs Gale.
Oh, and Steed, too, of course.

Yes. Seems you had
the edge on us after all. Heh.

I'll meet you both there right away.
We spring this little trap together.

My dear... I always knew
our alliance would prove fruitful.

Yeah.

Within the hour?

Keller and Mrs Gale
have missed their cue, haven't they?

- I gotta get you out of here.
- Amen to that.

Won't it be just a bit difficult?

EDGAR: Now, gentlemen,

we are now ready
for a more serious test.

First of all, some practice
against Oscar here.

And then some mutual combat
with unguarded blades then.

It gingers up the reflexes
tremendously.

Miss Betty, first of all, we will
demonstrate the riposte Vicomte,

so-called after the famous nobleman.

EDGAR: We will make a call
after the demonstration...

We have to get started.

If I get a chance,
I'll reach the light switch.

And if you can't?

We don't ask that sort of question.

Oh.

PEOPLE APPLAUSE
We are now ready to begin.

But, first of all,

we will take a glance at our
enemy identification chart...

..bearing in mind the motto
of our organisation...

..seek...

..hate...

..kill.
- But he's here!

As soon as the lights go out,
you make a dash for the door.

Keep going, whatever happens,
and don't stop for me.

I won't even slow down
to a trot for you.

That's the idea.

Should take you about five seconds
to get across the floor.

If you don't mind.

Observe, gentlemen, please.

There's always the correct
way of doing things, even in defeat.

I can handle
the situation now, gentlemen.

We mustn't allow this intrusion
to interfere with our studies.

OSCAR: All right, let's get back
to fencing instruction.

All right, gentlemen, in two lines.

Lunge. Recover.

Recover.

Do make yourself comfortable.

FOILS CLANGING
Waiting for our host, eh? The boss.

I'm sorry
he couldn't get through to you.

It'll be a personal visit.

Yes, well, remarkably
astute of you, Mr Steed.

Isn't there something brilliant
you can do?

I'm thinking about it.

Ready, Betty?

INDISTINCT CHATTER

I'm disappointed in you, Mr Steed.

I thought you would have been
a worthier opponent.

- The fortunes of war.
- There are no fortunes in war.

The strongest wins.
It's all quite simple.

- MAN: Edgar.
- Over here, Sir.

- Hello, Steed.
- Hello.

Miss Lawrence.

Clear the place,
don't want too many witnesses.

Right, Sir.

Miss Betty, Oscar,
you can dismiss class for the day.

Right, Sir. Class dismissed.

- All attended to, Sir.
- Excellent.

And how do you like
my little setup, Steed?

Highly trained force
and getting better every day.

Very kind of you, Sir.

As you put it,
"Create mayhem, steal secrets,

"sell to the highest bidder",
and I'm in charge.

They passed me over long enough
with their quibbling over expenses

and keeping me short of cash.
Well... now I'm ready

to put their training
to full advantage.

You seem surprised.

- No, I guessed.
- Huh?

Vinkel was sent over
to investigate you, wasn't he?

Huh... You really are
a cunning old fox.

Then why did you send for me?

- I needed confirmation.
- But Mrs Gale said...

- Mrs Gale. Where is she anyhow?
- Pardon?

- Mrs Gale, the other woman.
- There is no other woman, Sir.

You fool, she's here somewhere.
KIM SCREAMING

STEED GRUNTS
KELLER YELLS

You really are an actress.
KELLER GRUNTS

MEN GRUNTING

OSCAR YELLS

KELLER YELLS

BOTH GRUNTING

Steed!

EDGAR YELLS

It's supposed to be unlucky.

KIM: He's up, Steed.

HE YELLS

You have a very disarming
nature, Mrs Gale.

- Touche.
- What a performance.

It was nothing, really.

Well, it was
great-grandmama, you know.

- JOHN: Eh?
- Oh, she had a knife-throwing act.

ALL CHUCKLE

I'm glad I have you two ladies
on my side.

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com