Original subtitles

WATER FLOWING

DOOR OPENS

BRIEFCASE CLICKS

DOOR OPENS

Here we are, Your Excellency,

the penthouse suite.

You'll find your luggage in your room.

Thank you.

This is really most pleasant, Mrs Gale.

Mellor, don't you agree? - Quite superb, sir. Quite.

There's a marvellous view of the city from the terrace.

Ah. Morigny '27. Very good.

With the compliments of the hotel.

We hope you'll enjoy your stay.

We are sure, Mrs Gale,

that with someone as charming as yourself

we shall have a delightful time.

Thank you.

Ali.

Oh, Mellor, get rid of that case. - Yes.

And now, Mrs Gale, the view.

Certainly.

Ah, London.

It is the most reassuring of cities. - Yes.

There are many places I'd like to visit,

but I don't think I'd like to live anywhere else but here.

We are sure, Mrs Gale,

that everyone feels so about his own country.

Come.

If the food is as breath-taking as that view, Mellor,

we shall be more than content.

His Excellency prides himself on being something of a gourmet.

I don't think Your Excellency will be disappointed.

All right, Mellor, get yourself a drink.

Thank you, sir.

We've placed the penthouse kitchens entirely at your disposal,

and the three chefs we've engaged are among the finest in the world.

Who are they?

Lucien Champee, Umberto Aicqui, and Sebastian Stone-Martin.

Umberto Aicqui? Ah.

- You've heard of him? - His pastas are world-famous.

And Lucien Champee...

Is a pastry cook.

But I don't know this Sebastian Stone-Martin.

He's English, Your Excellency, a chef des viandes.

I think you'll find him excellent. - If you say so, Mrs Gale.

So, to a pleasant stay.

To your very good health.

To you both.

HE SPEAKS IN FRENCH

ITALIAN ACCENT: Watch what you do! This wood, she's a-valuable.

- So is my neck, huh? - Ah! Instant cake mixer.

What you say, you 19th century spaghetti maker?

Dignity, gentlemen, dignity.

Let us remember where we are.

I know where I am. London's finest.

Ice water and television in every room.

But in here, that stove, huh?

To each his own, Lucien,

but, Umberto,

do try and keep your wood out of the way.

All right, all right, all right!

Let me introduce you to our new chef des viandes.

Sebastian.

Coming, Mr Arbuthnot.

HE SIGHS APPRECIATIVELY

- Er, this is... - I'm Umberto Aicqui.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

And your stove.

Yeah, she's a thing of beauty, eh?

HE CHUCKLES She's different.

- I'm Lucien Champee. - I'm Sebastian Stone-Martin.

All right, get on with your work. Is the gateau almost finished?

I still have one or two things to do.

- Why, is he here? - He's just arrived.

Well, he'll have to wait. This is very intricate.

Somebody's birthday?

Royalty.

Really?

The Emir Abdulla Akaba, a barrel of oil a second.

And at least one bullet a week.

Why, it's one of the hazards of his profession.

Oh, such impatience! I don't understand.

- What do you mean, impatient? - Well, he's an old man,

and he's very sick.

Now, Umberto, that's backstairs gossip.

All right, so you tell me why he's here?

A simple checkup.

With Dr Spender?

One of the world's best heart specialists?

Well, he can afford the best.

Huh! He may need the best.

Oh, really, same old pantomime?

Now, would you tell the Emir

that Sir Ralph Spender is here and would like to see him?

Sir Ralph, how nice to see you again.

Brigadier.

I'm sorry about Ali,

but as you know, we can't be too careful.

Well, you seem to forget that my job is to keep the Emir alive.

- Yes, of course. - Well, how is he, by the way?

- See for yourself. - Mm.

Very good, Your Excellency.

Ah, our dear Spender.

How nice. DOOR CLOSES

It's always a pleasure to see Your Excellency.

And a surprise?

And now you're being unkind.

Er, this is Mrs Gale.

She's what the hotel calls our social director.

Sir Ralph Spender.

- How do you do? - Mrs Gale.

Sir Ralph and his fellow practitioners

have been prophesying my death for years,

but we still manage to defy them.

And more power to you for it.

But I do think... - Don't.

I'll tell you when to be professionally grave.

Hmm.

Mellor, a glass of champagne for the doctor.

- For you, Mrs Gale? - No, thank you.

- Your Excellency? - Brandy, of course.

Mrs Gale, we should like to see the chefs.

Yes, of course, Your Excellency.

If you'll excuse me, I'll fetch them.

Spender, bring your drink and come and see this view.

It really is superb.

It's rather a stiff one, isn't it?

I'm afraid that's the way he likes them.

Oh.

You shouldn't, you know?

So you have been telling us for years.

And so has your religion.

Well, what is it?

A recurrence of the old trouble, hmm?

I am afraid so.

Then why the devil didn't you come and see me earlier?

And raise the alarm, doctor?

We would rather die.

A vintage burgundy, the company of a beautiful woman,

and a boeuf bourguignon.

That's my recipe for a perfect evening.

Mm!

Now, we'll let that get on with it for a little while, eh.

Eh, where were you before you come here?

Maria Cristina, in Mexico City. Do you know it?

Langostinos con mantequilla.

That's it, crayfish cooked in butter.

Ah, delicious, served with a good, dry French wine.

Perhaps Chevalier-Montrachet, '52.

Exactement.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

We are to be presented to the Emir.

The cake is not ready yet.

Oh, will you be long?

One minute, maybe two.

Well, while we're waiting, Mr Arbuthnot,

I might as well tell you how the routine's going to work.

Now, the menus will be planned a day in advance,

and the day's catch of meat, fish and so on selected

will be kept in the food locker in your office until required.

Under lock and key, of course.

You think I maybe go to steal a steak, huh?

The cabinet must be kept locked, I'm afraid,

but I'm sure the key will always be available to you.

Yes, I shall have it.

And incidentally, Mrs Gale,

please feel free to use my office as and when you wish.

Thank you.

Dishes must be prepared without the assistance

of any other member of the kitchen staff.

And when the dish is ready,

it must to be shown to you, Mr Arbuthnot,

before it goes to the Emir's table.

Oh, yes, I shall supervise everything.

But why all this nonsense, Mrs Gale?

Orders, Umberto.

Now, Umberto...

..royal personages are entitled

to the utmost courtesy and consideration.

Yeah, what you mean is if he eats a piece of that cake and then dies,

we'll know who's to blame, eh?

Oh, really, you talk as though someone were trying to poison him.

They haven't done too well with bullets, have they?

Eh, voila.

- Here, what the devil? - MELLOR: Ali!

HE COUGHS

Oh.

What was this for?

For me.

Are you sure it was not meant for me?

Oh, well, of course not.

Then why be so surreptitious?

I don't like to advertise the fact that I suffer from heartburn.

It doesn't encourage my patients to have any confidence in me.

Look here, if your heavy-fisted guard

is going to molest me any further,

you can get yourself another doctor.

Then let us see if one will be necessary.

Such vigilance is unfortunately necessary.

We live under the constant threat of assassination.

Well, your politics are no concern of mine.

No.

Only my health.

Er, Mrs Gale?

Your Excellency, I have the chefs waiting.

Ah!

May I present Mr Arbuthnot, our master chef.

Your Excellency.

And what is your specialty?

Poisson. Truite a la normande.

A good bouillabaisse?

Of course, Your Excellency.

Good.

And you are?

Sebastian Stone-Martin, Your Excellency, chef des viandes.

Canard a l'orange?

And faisan a la languedocienne.

Ah, that we must have.

As Your Excellency pleases.

And you are Umberto Aicqui?

Yes, Your Excellency.

Lasagne, cannelloni, ravioli.

Fettuccine, tagliatelle.

Ah, delicious.

Ahem!

Your Excellency. - Yes, doctor?

Might I suggest that you confine yourself to a light diet

until I have completed my examination?

Well, gentlemen, it must be as the doctor commands.

CART ROLLING And what is this?

ARBUTHNOT: A small token

..of our high esteem, Your Excellency.

This is magnificent.

The work of an artist.

Lucien Champee.

I congratulate you.

Merci, monsieur.

It is permitted?

I don't think that that could cause any irreparable harm.

A knife then. Who has a knife?

Your Excellency.

Oh, hello, Mrs Gale.

Hello, Josie, what are you doing here?

Waiting for Mr Arbuthnot.

He's still up in the penthouse? Did you want something?

Well, you see, I've run out of silver polish,

so I needs a bit more.

What about all this?

Ah, yes,

but I won't want to take that without asking, now would I?

No, I'm sure you wouldn't.

Here.

I'll take full responsibility.

SHE EXHALES Thanks.

CATHERINE CLEARS THROAT

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

Allow me.

Enjoying your... Enjoying yourself?

I'm having a marvellous time.

Ticking off foodstuff in the kitchen

is something I've always wanted to do.

Ah!

It's fascinating,

especially when you know it's in the national interest.

All right then, that's why I asked you to take on the job.

You were very convincing.

Middle East ferment, balance of power,

essential oil supplies for the Western world.

And a new contract being negotiated by the British government.

And what was that last piece de resistance,

the touching bit,

about the poor old man fighting a lone battle?

I wasn't joking. He is alone. He's surrounded by enemies.

I'm not surprised.

He's an ill-tempered, vain, selfish old devil.

His personality isn't important.

- Ah, but his oil wells are. - Now look here,

this thing could blow up in our faces if he's assassinated.

That's not likely to happen with laughing boy around.

- Ali? - Mm.

You know what happened to Spender.

Yeah, you can't even take an aspirin in the royal presence

without being suspected of assassinating him.

Hey, come on, we better keep going.

Come.

HE SIGHS

Sebastian Stone-Martin. Where'd you get that name?

I got it from a bird.

MELLOR: Ali.

Take this to the kitchen.

Deliver it to Lucien. No-one else, remember?

To Lucien.

Now, gentlemen, this evening,

His Excellency will take vichyssoise,

a sole a la bonne femme,

a small filet mignon,

medium, Sebastian. - Yes, Mr Arbuthnot.

A salad with a Roquefort dressing, which I shall prepare,

and a crepe suzette.

Hey, no pasta, no ravioli?

Ah, an intelligent man, the Emir, eh?

ARBUTHNOT: Right?

Now, if you'll come with me,

I'll give you the various ingredients.

All right, Mrs Gale?

Yes, it's all there, Mr Arbuthnot.

You've got tonight's menu? - Just starting.

- Good, the key's in the drawer. - Oh, thank you very much.

Right?

Oh, thank you, Ali.

Josie. - Yeah?

Oh, wait a minute.

Take this, will you, Josie?

No! To Lucien. I take.

Oh, well, suit yourself.

Down there.

Ah, you can leave it there.

Well, that's where he works. You can leave it there. It's OK.

So, what's the matter, something wrong with it?

- No. - Oh!

All right, you can leave it there. He'll get it.

All this fuss for a lousy cake.

Hey, Umberto, come on with me. I'm on me break, OK?

No, no, no. Now first you come here, come here.

Here, you clean that.

All right.

HE SINGS

Quelle desastre.

MOCKING: Quelle desastre.

Who brought this down here?

- That man. - What man?

That man from the Emir.

Where's the cover at?

Josie's got it. I told her to clean it.

- You did what? - It was dirty.

You had no right. The cake will dry out!

They ate all they wanted, so what's the matter?

You have no right to do that to me.

Oh, never, I don't do anything for you again.

Never, never, never.

There! Now it's covered. Are you happy?

I've taken enough from you, you... you Italian spaghetti maker.

ARBUTHNOT CLAPS HANDS Temperament, temperament, please.

HE MUTTERS IN FRENCH

It was a lousy cake anyway!

Now, look here, Umberto,

we cannot keep having these temperaments.

Fingers, fingers, please.

Lucien, I want a word with you.

Now, look, I know it was horribly mean of him,

but you mustn't take it to heart, Lucien.

Why not? It was my cake. He should not interfere.

Now, look, there's work to be done.

The Emir's dinner.

- Mellor. - Sir?

What time is our appointment with Spender?

Ten o'clock tomorrow morning, Your Excellency.

Then a good night's sleep would be politic.

Possibly.

This view is even more magnificent by night.

We recommend it to you, Mellor.

Solitude... is good for the soul.

Good night, Your Excellency.

Lunch today,

His Excellency has decided to have grapefruit Chopin.

- Yes. - Cannelloni.

Ah-ha!

A salad with a thousand island dressing.

Yes.

- And flambe bananas. - Yes.

Where's Lucien?

He went to the...

He went to the bakery, Mr Arbuthnot.

Oh, really, this is most inconsiderate of him.

How am I to issue the supplies if...

Bananas, Mr Arbuthnot.

- JOSIE: There you are. - Oh, later, Josie, later.

No, this is important. Not the guest for once.

I happen to be in the middle of a staff meeting.

Yeah, but somebody's broke into the cleaning room.

I don't c... They what?

Yeah, last night it must've been. Broke in.

What's missing?

Nothing I don't think.

- Don't you know, girl? - No.

You'll have to excuse me, Mrs Gale.

Yes, of course.

What about the supplies, Mr Arbuthnot?

Oh. Oh, yes.

Would you mind, Mrs Gale?

Erm, I shall probably be all morning.

Not at all.

Go on, girl.

Well, Umberto, what can I supply you with?

Er, later, Mrs Gale.

First I got to light my oven.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

Seems strange someone broke into the cleaning room

without taking anything.

There's nothing to take.

It's just a room where they clean things.

Then why did they break in?

MELLOR: Doctor's orders, Your Excellency.

He said you had to drink this

as soon as you got back from the hospital.

I've tentatively planned on going to the theatre this evening

with some friends, sir.

May I have your permission?

Oh!

Your Excellency?

Dispose of this!

We... We might reconsider.

Certainly, sir.

HE SIGHS X-rays, blood tests, cardiographs.

It's not a problem, Mellor, of holding our country together.

The difficulty... is holding this.

We should have drunk that.

The doctor ordered it.

It was your duty to see that we did.

LOUDLY: Why did you not do so?

But, Your Excellency...

Are you a loyal servant or are you not?

Out!

Yes, Mrs Gale.

How many will there be for dinner tonight, Your Excellency?

Mellor.

What did you say just now?

Your Excellency?

About going out?

I said I'd like to be gone all the evening, sir.

Very well, Mellor. You may go.

Thank you, sir.

All right! That is all!

Yes, Mrs Gale.

It seems I shall be dining alone this evening.

Very good, Your Excellency.

Hello, Sir Ralph. - Mrs Gale.

How did it go this morning?

Oh, much as I expected.

He's a very sick man, you know.

You knew that before he made the trip, didn't you?

Oh, yes, yes. He's been ill for years.

What exactly is wrong with him?

Well, it might be easier to tell you what isn't wrong with him.

Trouble is he won't look after himself

and he won't even listen.

He would have died years ago if it hadn't have been for Mellor.

Mellor's half English, isn't he?

Yes, from his father.

Do you know Mellor was on the staff when I first attended the old boy.

That was years ago.

How he sticks it, I really don't know.

The Emir treats him abominably.

Will you excuse me? - Yes, of course.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Ali.

DOOR CLOSES

Well, doctor?

It's not good, sir.

We didn't expect it to be.

Well, there have been instances of marked deterioration

during the last year.

What instances?

Well, the condition of your arteries, for example,

and the liver.

And what does the good doctor recommend?

More of that foul-tasting concoction

we were supposed to take this morning.

Was supposed to take?

We had Mellor throw it away.

HE GROANS

You know,

I don't much mind wasting my time with you.

I've known you a good many years.

But you are throwing away your life, my friend.

You need rest.

Why don't you abdicate? Let one of your sons take over.

Heavens above, you've got enough of them.

You are forgetting something, Doctor.

While we live, we rule.

That is the law in our country.

Then your reign is drawing rapidly to its close.

HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

A bulletin will shortly be issued...

..stating that after extensive medi...

medical examinations,

His Excellency the Emir Abdulla Akaba

has been pronounced physically fit.

What?

Physically fit.

I hope you don't expect me to sign it.

HE SCOFFS No, doctor.

It's a political document, not a certificate of health.

So you see, it doesn't matter what you say.

I am fit.

Will you... dine with me this evening?

Mellor is going out,

and I don't much care to be alone.

Besides, we would like to discuss with you these deteriorations.

I should be delighted.

Good.

That is truly disgusting.

What is it, for the cat?

It's for cannelloni, food for the gods.

And for men, not decadent egg-white whippers like yourselves.

That an elephant could make.

This requires genius.

This is for cream puffs like Arbuthnot.

IMITATES ARBUTHNOT: Oh, it's lovely, Mr Lucien, it's beautiful.

HE GROANS

Better you should put the cannelloni on the fire than the log.

Ignorant almond dicer!

One day I... I burn you to a crisp in there.

Oh, la la la la!

Don't leave all this lying about, Umberto.

In one minute, you can put it away. I'm nearly finished.

- Where's the key? - You gave it to Mrs Gale.

Oh, yes, of course, so I did.

Mr Arbuthnot,

what is the Emir having for dinner tonight?

Le faisan a la languedocienne. Sebastian will make it.

Suddenly, there was none of this imperial "we" stuff any more.

Just a lonely old man not wanting to be alone.

Old fraud, you mean? Mellor's always with him.

Not tonight. He's going to the theatre.

- Is he? - Mm.

Hates being alone,

yet despises and distrusts everyone around him.

He's as much afraid of them as they are of him.

Yes, but he goes to such ridiculous lengths.

In what way?

Well, he's known Spender for about ten years,

yet Ali always frisks him

before allowing him into his presence.

Poor Ali would frisk his own father.

Yes, but he acts on orders.

Trouble is he carries them to such ridiculous lengths.

Yesterday, for example,

Ali had to bring the cake trolley down to the kitchen.

He would not part with it until he handed it over to Lucien.

- Really? - Mm.

Look out.

Oh, forgive me, Mrs Gale, have you the key to the cupboard?

- Oh, yes, here it is. - Thank you.

By the way, have you seen Sebastian?

Er, excuse me.

He's in the kitchen.

Sebastian.

Coming, Mr Arbuthnot.

Anything I can do for you, Mr Arbuthnot?

What are you doing?

The Emir's having the faisan this evening.

Good!

Well, was anything taken from the cleaning room?

Not a thing, thank goodness.

I don't mind what they take from the silverware storage room.

That's not my responsibility. The cleaning room cupboard is.

Anyway, nothing was taken.

I'm so busy.

I wouldn't be too sure if I was him.

Keep an eye on things. I'll have a word with Josie.

Right.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

What can I do for you, then?

- Are you Josie? - Yes.

I've heard a good deal about you.

- Have you now? - Yes, I have.

Can you do me a small favour?

That depends what it is, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Er, there was a cake tray brought in last evening.

Brought in here? I brought it in.

- You did, where is it? - Yeah, it's over there.

Great heavy thing.

Oh! Yeah.

Hey, who are you then, eh?

I'm the Emir Akaba's Grand Vizier.

Really? What's that about?

When'd you clean it?

Last night, of course.

- Thoroughly? - Yeah.

- Inside and out? - Mind your own business.

HE WHISTLES

Do you mind?

She only started to develop when she took up weightlifting.

I tell you, it's all in there.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES You fellas are all the same.

THEY SPEAK INAUDIBLY

HE GRUNTS

Stupendissimo.

All right, all right.

Umberto, we can't keep royalty waiting, you know.

You can't hurry cannelloni.

All right, let's have it on the tray.

All right, now go back and let's have a look.

You know, Umberto, these clothes should be changed twice a day.

Oh, twice a day, twice a day.

Now, is it ready?

Now I'm ready.

Right.

HE GRUNTS

Oh! The Emir's lunch.

IN COCKNEY ACCENT: You great big, steamin' mick!

Oh!

Get out, Sebastian.

Umberto, clean this up.

HE YELLS

METAL CLANGS

Ah.

Cannelloni, gentlemen?

JOHN: No, Your Excellency.

Poached eggs?

There was an accident in the kitchen a few minutes ago, Your Excellency,

due entirely to my negligence,

and your cannelloni was the casualty.

I... I'm very sorry.

So are we.

You are to prepare the faisan a la languedocienne for tonight?

- Yes, he is... - Yes, I am, Your Excellency.

My specialty. - Then we shall not

pronounce sentence on you for this

until we have tasted the pheasant.

So, your fate is in your own hands.

Your Excellency is most generous.

Oh, yes, indeed, Your Excellency.

Most generous indeed, Your Excellency.

Yes, indeed. You may go, Sebastian.

If you'll excuse me, Your Excellency,

I'll give the flambe bananas safe conduct from the kitchen.

That might be wise.

They are coming up, and he is going down.

Was anything wrong with the cannelloni?

I don't know. I was prepared to risk it.

Something came down from the penthouse in that cake cover.

- To Umberto? - No, I don't think it was for him.

Wasn't he alone in the kitchen when the trolley came down?

It wouldn't have been necessary to have gone in the cleaning room.

He could've taken whatever it was in the kitchen.

- Lucien. - The trolley was intended for him

but it could just as easily be Arbuthnot.

Who sent it down?

One of the upstairs brigade.

The point is, what is it?

- Poison? - Variety?

It'd have to be tasteless and odourless,

otherwise you'd spot it at once.

Unless it tasted exactly like something else.

- Such as? - Mushrooms.

HE CHUCKLES

Mm! Delicious.

Mellor. - Sir?

We want this recipe.

Yes, sir.

Well, now, man!

Come with me.

Mm.

The cannelloni, was it an accident?

- Who can say? It looked like it. - Where are the mushrooms now?

In Arbuthnot's office locked in the cupboard.

- Will they be used tonight? - But, of course.

Sebastian will need them for the faisan.

Good.

But the doctor is dining with him tonight.

Then he must die as well.

When do I get my money?

It's not all here. - No.

You'll get the other half

when you've removed what remains of the mushrooms.

- But that was not in the agreement. - It is now.

They must be removed from the cupboard tonight.

- How? - I don't care.

THE EMIR: Mellor!

The damage will have been done.

JOHN: Garnish, gentlemen,

that's the secret to the faisan a la languedocienne.

The one is prepared separately, tomatoes and aubergines.

The other, chopped onions, celery and raw ham,

is prepared with the bird,

seasoned with a little salt and pepper,

a tidgen of bay leaves and a smertz of thyme,

and then you add... Excuse me, please, thank you.

There you are. Open up.

And, er, that's all?

All, my dear chum?

I've only begun the other garnish to add,

and then the sauces to prepare.

When it's all added up, it's hermetically sealed

and allowed to stew in its own juices.

And when it's finished?

If you whisper to it nicely, the flesh falls from the bones.

As would you say, "Stupendissimo."

It transports one out of this world.

HE SNIFFS

You must forgive me, Your Excellency,

but I was called to the hospital. It was an emergency.

We feel sorry for you, Doctor,

to have missed such a meal.

I never tasted a more magnificent pheasant.

It was a masterpiece, doctor.

Oh, isn't this against your rules?

Hmm. Consider them waived temporarily.

- Arbuthnot. - Your Excellency?

Join us in a brandy.

Oh, Your Excellency is too kind.

I'll have just a drop. Feeling festive,

and more than a little proud.

Yes, so you should, Arbuthnot.

So you should.

I will say this for you,

you run a magnificent kitchen.

Oh, Your Excellency.

That meal was a classic, doctor.

One of the finest we remem...

GLASS SHATTERS

What do you think's happened?

I daren't think. I just wish they'd let us in.

It was Sir Ralph who telephoned me.

What'd he say?

Just to come up at once, that's all. HE SCOFFS

Come in.

- What's happened? - It's the Emir. he's collapsed.

- Is he dead? - I don't know.

- Is the doctor with him? - Yes, he's in there now.

He's been in for quite some time.

DOOR OPENS

He is dead.

What was the cause?

Well, in his condition,

it might be one of any number of things.

We'll find out tomorrow. There'll be a postmortem.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

What's happened?

A few moments ago the Emir collapsed and died.

It could've happened at any time. You know that.

It doesn't prevent it from being a shock.

We must inform the police.

Yes, of course, but not just for the moment, please.

I'm afraid it's the law.

Mrs Gale, you must try to understand the situation in our country.

It's extremely delicate.

The succession must be established quickly

and the army moved to vantage points to prevent any... difficulties.

I don't see how notifying our police

can cause difficulties in your country.

The press will be onto this like a shot,

and news travels fast.

I think the brigadier's right.

I think under the circumstances

that we should leave protocol to him.

Thank you, Doctor.

First of all, I must telephone the royal palace at Ebrah

and break the news to the Emir's eldest son.

Now, that make take some little time.

Then I shall be only too pleased to place myself at your disposal.

Very well.

While I'm waiting to get through,

I must ask you all to remain in this apartment.

Doctor, will you wait in there?

- Is this absolutely necessary? - I should prefer it.

You, too, Mr Arbuthnot. - No, really, I must protest.

Please don't make my task more difficult than it already is.

Mr Arbuthnot.

Yes?

Until the exact cause of death has been established,

I'll take the key to the special food locker in your office.

Are you suggesting that I...

The key, Mr Arbuthnot.

Thank you.

Would you like me to go with them?

No. You will stay where you are.

Ali, lock that door.

Please!

Now, Ali, disconnect the telephone in my room.

You will wait in there.

We don't want overcrowding.

- Very considerate. - Oh, not at all.

After all, you deserve special attention.

You prepared the Emir's last meal.

DOOR CLOSES

Huh. That was a very exposed performance.

Very plausible.

Got everything quite right.

It's perfectly reasonable.

He was quite right to take precautions, too.

And it was logical to phone the palace.

But he might be phoning home to say he's pulled it off,

if the Emir was poisoned.

If he was, I've slipped up.

Mellor was very anxious to get that key from Arbuthnot.

That means they know that the thing is still in the cupboard

and they're gonna try and get it out.

I've got to get to the kitchen.

Phew! It's quite a long way, isn't it?

This is the penthouse.

What's up top?

The main air conditioning units and the penthouse lift motor.

I checked them last week.

You're a good little girl.

Do you suffer from vertigo?

This is a very good way to find out, isn't it?

WIND WHISTLING

HE GRUNTS

An hour's delay?

Can't you get through quicker than that?

This is extremely urgent.

Very well, but please try.

An hour.

Ali, I've got a job for you.

Lucien is going to break into the special food locker

in Arbuthnot's office for the mushrooms tonight.

You can help him.

Yes. Yes, you've already told me that,

but please try again.

Ali.

Here's the key of the food locker.

You get the mushrooms, then get rid of Lucien.

No good, Lucien.

I've got them.

HE GRUNTS

THUDDING NEARBY

HE GRUNTS

HE GRUNTS

HE SCREAMS

LIGHT BULB SHATTERS

MELLOR: Come out of there, you two.

Slowly, and with your hands up.

LIGHT BULB CLATTERS

HE YELLS

Ali!

You called?

All right, get him out.

You'll go to prison for this assault.

Nothing to what you'll get for murder.

Sebastian, this will have to be reported.

It will indeed, Mr Arbuthnot.

Oh, dear.

Well, I can hardly believe that, Mrs Gale.

Is this true, Mellor? TELEPHONE RINGS

Hello?

I'll explain later.

Hello?

Oh, is that the royal palace in Ebrah?

It isn't? Oh.

I must have got the wrong number. I'm very sorry to trouble you.

I'm afraid your revolting friends, they won't be too pleased

when they realise you made a mess of it.

Umberto, how's it going?

Stupendissimo.

Bene.

Well? What did Sir Ralph say?

The Emir died of natural causes,

a coronary.

Well, what about those mushrooms?

- Oh, they were... - Was it Amanita phalloides?

- Who is that again? - Amanita phalloides.

Wasn't it? - That was it, yes.

Well, they're a very lethal little mushroom.

But they take ten days to take effect.

Sometimes longer.

Charming.

Yeah, that's what shook Mellor.

When the old boy died of a heart attack,

his party just wasn't ready for the takeover.

That was lucky.

What's all this then, eh?

Look, Steed,

I can't wait to get as far away from the kitchen as possible,

but Umberto insisted.

He said he must cook dinner for us and I couldn't say no.

Really? Well, I hope he gets a move on.

I haven't eaten in 24 hours.

Ah! - Ah, Umberto.

Now, what have we got here? I'm starving, Umberto.

Vermicelli, spaghetti, ravioli?

IN COCKNEY ACCENT: Do me a favour, Mr Steed,

I've had that Italian lark.

No, this is real food. There.

Fish and chips, mate. We're fryin' tonight.

Oh!

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com