Original subtitles

RAIN FALLING HEAVILY

WOMAN SOBBING

HE GROANS

THUNDER RUMBLES

Oh.

WOMAN SOBBING

WOMAN CONTINUES SOBBING

Katie, get off there. Get off there!

Oh, this is not the season for moulting.

DOORBELL BUZZES

BELLS TOLLING OUTSIDE

- Morning. - It still raining?

You're joking, of course.

Oh, it's gonna ruin the pitch.

- Football? - Polo.

Now, look here, I'll get a snake for a pet if you don't watch it.

They only shed their coats once a year.

You look as though you're going to a funeral.

- I am. - Oh, I'm sorry. Who?

My old batman.

You had a batman? When was this?

Munich, 1945.

What were you doing?

I was keeping on an eye on an adjutant.

What was he doing, watching the CO?

He was smuggling coffee beans.

Mm! Big stuff.

Look, not all of us start at the top, you know.

Many of us cut our teeth on coffee beans...

..and pseudo penicillin.

What time's the service?

Twelve. Twelve o'clock, I gotta hurry.

Out of the way. Thanks. Oh!

Now, handkerchief, wallet, keys, change.

I mustn't forget the collection.

I think you'll find there won't be a collection.

Oh? Oh, that's good.

- Steed? - Yeah.

JOHN SIGHS

RAIN FALLING HEAVILY

I've got the keys here.

- That's all right, I've got mine. - Oh, thank you.

Take care now.

Oh, dear, dear.

It spoiled the service.

No, it didn't, Mum. Now, you sit down.

- EDITH: Here, love. - Here we are.

All that rain on the roof.

You could hardly hear the vicar.

Oh, you got the general drift of it.

Name was bandied before the hymns.

Well, I wouldn't know about them.

They would have been his choice. I know that.

My dear lady, that's all that matters.

- You think so? - I do.

Oh, "Fight The Good Fight."

Not too aggressive for a funeral, was it?

Oh, not at all, fine old military hymn.

Now then, Mum, it was a very nice service.

And then again, you see,

the proper organist couldn't come today.

You know, there were some lovely flowers.

And there should have been a little descant in the psalm.

Well, I wouldn't worry about that. No-one would've known, honestly.

EDITH: You're very kind.

You know, everybody's been so good, so very good.

SHE SOBS Now then, Mum.

Erm, while we've got a minute, gentlemen,

I'd, er, I'd like to nip through the will.

- I'd better be going. - No, stay where you are, Mr Steed,

and Your Lordship. You... You do know one another?

No. We haven't actually been introduced.

I'm sorry. This is Lord Teale, the, er, banker. Mr Steed.

Dad batted for His Lordship in 1918

and for Mr Steed in '45.

- Oh, how do you do, sir? - How do you do?

- You're the brigade? - No, I was attached to the I Corps.

Oh, under-the-counter stuff, eh?

Er, gentlemen, would you like to sit down, please?

The will.

THUNDER RUMBLING

JOHN CLEARS THROAT

PAPERS RUSTLE

"This is the last will and testament of me, Clarence Arthur Wrightson,

"of 19..." Oh, that's just the address.

"I hereby revoke all wills made by me at any time heretofore.

"I appoint John James..." That's just me, same address...

"..to be my executor and rector.

"All my debts and funeral expenses should be paid

"as soon as conveniently as may be after my decease."

SHE CRIES Now then, Mum.

"My old governor, Lord Teale,

"I return the Military Cross

"which he so generously presented to me

"on Armistice Day 1918."

Oh, huh, well, that's very nice of him.

Should, by rights, have been his.

He's a fine soldier, your father.

I was straight out of OCTU, wet behind the ears.

He carried me, that man did, carried me.

He'd bring me my tea, go over the day's plans with me.

Oh, he was a fine soldier, great man.

SHE CRIES Now then, Mum.

Thank you very much, Your Lordship.

Er, "To Mr Steed,

"my governor at the end of the last war,

"I return the ten pounds

"which he never expected to see again,

"which he lent me in Munich." Is that right?

I'd completely forgotten about it.

He wanted a set of German draftsman's tools.

He had most of the money.

And I loaned him the last tenner. There's no need...

Well, I'd completely forgotten about it.

EDITH: A debt is a thing of honour, Mr Steed.

As you say, Mrs Wrightson.

Er, "To my son John, I leave the sum of £100."

Thank you, Dad.

"The balance of the estate and whatsoever effects I possess

"or shall accrue of my death, I leave to my beloved wife Edith

"cos with her, the road seemed less long."

SHE CRIES

"At the time of making my will, the estate was valued at..."

SHE CONTINUES SOBBING

"..at £180,000."

THUNDER RUMBLES

Oh, Katie, you great galumphing elephant.

That doesn't help.

Now, stay over there and sit.

DOOR OPENS

JOHN HUMMING

Hey, are you still here? It's stopped raining, you know.

It's not five hours yet.

JOHN: Five hours?

They shampooed all the carpets in my flat,

and I can't walk on them for five hours.

Oh, dear, dear me. Any calls?

No.

Not even one phone about a pair of polo ponies?

- No. - Oh...

How was the funeral?

- I got a mention in the will. - Good.

I was left ten quid.

So I spent it. - Now I see the need for ponies.

My batman was a £20-a-week draftsman.

He worked in a printing company, fine stamps, share certificates.

Interesting.

And he left £180,000.

On £20 a week?

What was it, bank notes under the bed?

- Property. - And he really owned it?

Yeah, and I checked with Bush House.

He owned everything that he said he did.

He was your batman.

Yeah, and he only earned £20.

Say he worked for 40 years, well, that's...

That would be 41,600, just 138,400 short.

Yes, and that's assuming he never spent a penny.

No house, boats, food, cigarettes, and...

- Not to mention income tax. - That's right.

- Who were the other beneficiaries? - His widow, his son,

and Lord Teale. - The merchant banker?

Yeah, they don't deal in cash over the counter.

No, they arrange mergers and takeovers,

finance foreign trade and assist new companies.

Teale & Van Doren, Throgmorton Street.

Hey, what did he get, 25?

- A medal. Who? - Lord Teale.

- A medal. - Is that all?

180,000.

Maybe he won the football pools.

No, he didn't.

Then I think your batman fellow must have been a forger.

Oh, look, you've been dealing with

the criminal fraternity too long, Mrs Gale.

Have you still got that miniature camera?

Yes, why?

I was wondering if you'd take a few photos for me.

HE YELPS

MAN DICTATING: Higher taxes and stiffer death duties

have signalled the end of the private family business.

And economies of scale and international competition

favour the formation of larger firms.

Stop.

This has resulted in a welter of mergers, takeovers,

and new issues on the London Stock Exchange.

Stop.

We at Teale & Van Doren...

..pride ourselves that we have had our fair share...

..of this financial pie.

How did it go?

Disastrously.

Why, what's happened?

Clarence Arthur Wrightson left everything in his will.

- How much? - £180,000.

- As much as that? - Yes.

What are we going to do?

180,000?

That value in property.

What did the family say?

Flabbergasted, thought it was a joke.

Some joke.

Anybody else know? Solicitors?

No, no. Fellow named Steed.

They met in the army, second war.

What do you think will happen?

When the will goes up for probate, everything will break loose.

Every tax inspector in the country will be in on the act.

What are we going to do?

We sit tight.

I don't like saying it, Basil, but he was your responsibility.

I know. You don't have to remind me.

But we couldn't have got by without him.

We were dependent on him.

That's it, though, isn't it? We are just an anachronism now,

and you know that. - Rubbish, Eric.

Four generations ago,

when Dutch know-how was allied to English aristocracy,

that was all right. But what's left?

An Englishman with a Dutch name and one very faded old school tie.

We represent some of the finest companies in the country.

We're a pair of financial pimps. That's all we are.

Ancestral homes, dinners, golf clubs, varsity matches.

I bet you haven't missed an Eton wall game

since the war, have you?

Which war? HE SCOFFS

I still don't understand what it was all about.

Why didn't he ask us for advice?

A sense of humour, no doubt.

Why? Why? Why?

Well, what do you want me to do, go out to the cemetery and ask him?

INTERCOM BUZZES

Yes?

Yes, I'll tell him.

Sir Ian DeLisle is waiting to see you in your office.

Oh, well, all right, I'll see him.

I've read the Mearsham deal.

When's it due? - End of next week.

- Better start buying straight away. - What do we use for money?

- Oh, don't worry. - Well, I do worry.

If we don't clear 70,000, we can't exercise our option

on the Gibbs Electronic Shop.

We will clear 70,000. We go in to gain control of Gibbs.

There'll be no doubt of that, no doubt at all.

I'll think of something.

Ah, it better be good.

HE GRUNTS

SHUTTER CLICKS

Ah.

I asked for a Bloody Mary.

- Did you? - Yes. What's this?

- Tea. - Tea?

Lapsang souchong, with lemon, blended by one of own companies.

Why? Why tea?

It seemed more appropriate to the early hour.

- What's wrong with a Bloody Mary? - Oh, nothing, my dear.

I'm sure it's an excellent beverage, in its place.

You treat me as if I was still at Roedean.

- Shall I pour? - I can manage, thank you.

- How are the kennels? - Kennels?

Oh, you are an old mothball.

That was years ago.

There's been the riding stables, the Slim-O-Rama.

Or was it the Slim-O-Rama and the riding stables?

Oh, I don't know.

I have jobs like other people have clothes.

You should settle down.

Settle? No thanks.

How do you know what it's all about if you haven't tried it?

Well, you don't have to swallow the ocean

to describe the taste of saltwater.

Smart. Where did it come from?

Off a matchbox. SHE LAUGHS

Anyway, what you doing now?

I'm a florist.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, what do you know about flowers?

Not much. You don't need to. People point.

You say, how many? You wrap them up.

No-one gives a toot whether you can tell

an Antirrhinum from a dandelion.

Oh, well, the important thing is that you enjoy yourself.

Mm. There's this rather dishy porter from Covent Garden.

Oh, now, Cynthia, please, no more scandals.

That Scandinavian air steward was quite bad enough.

Spoilsport.

White blond hair, and all those open sandwiches.

Away, he said...

SPEAKING SCANDINAVIAN LANGUAGE

Now, now, Cynthia, business.

I don't know why we bother.

It must bore you to distraction.

I never understand a word of all these percentages.

Well, it's only reasonable,

you should know what we're doing with your money.

As long as the dividends come through, I'm quite happy.

I thought when we got this sudden summons, we'd all gone bust.

HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY No, hardly.

Now, then, Oldfield's, well, they're a fine company...

- Really? What do they do? - Mail order.

You think they could order me one?

Hmm? Oh, Cynthia, please.

I'm sorry. You go on.

Walkers, they're high, but they may go higher.

Er, Hammond's, the grocery chain,

well, they had a very good interim report.

Perhaps you should... No, perhaps not.

Stott's. Well, they raised their final by two points.

AGM next week.

AGM?

- Yeah, annual general meeting. - What about, er, Glover's?

Well, they had a record report last April, a fine holding.

Yes. Although I say it myself, it's an excellent list.

Pennies, biscuits, leather development.

- You wouldn't change anything? - I wouldn't sell a single share.

They're all beatin' their necks to keep you warm in your old age.

I advise you not to sell a solitary.

You're a genius. Now can I go?

Yes, all right. I suppose so, if you want to.

Come and see us again soon.

Don't leave it so long next time.

DOOR CLOSES

- You're a darling. Bye, poppet. - Uh-huh.

Ah, Cooper.

How's the market doing this afternoon?

SD Index up at lunch by point six.

Gold's up firmer, too, sir.

Give those to Mr Van Doren, will you?

Right.

VAN DOREN: 'Hello?'

- Eric. - 'Yes?'

- You alone? - 'Yes.'

I'm sending Cooper in with Lady Cynthia's portfolio.

You can start selling every shareholding.

Everything... the lot.

Exhausting, isn't it? I've never seen so many wires.

If you've got money in the company, you must take an interest.

Well, speak for yourself.

I made 230 applications so far and haven't gotten a single share.

- Well, I only got 100. - Only? How many did you apply for?

A hundred.

What it is to have beauty and friends in high places.

Have they come to any decision yet about my photographs?

The share certificates are genuine.

My... report. MAN COUGHING

- Then how did... - Good afternoon.

I'm Victor Gibbs. - Oh, my name's Steed.

- Welcome to the at-home. - Having a marvellous time.

I haven't understood anything for hours.

It's a bit tricky, isn't it? You get used to it.

You have any of your little pieces in the Canaveral rockets?

Oh, yes. We've already got something up there right now.

Is there one up there?

It's difficult to keep track, I know.

Aircraft, rockets, computers, television, transistors, that's us.

Must be proud to see it all doing so well.

- Yes, very gratifying. - What made you decide to go public,

if you don't mind my asking? - Not a bit.

One of the principal reasons is I had a coronary last year

trying to do too much. - Oh, dear.

The doctor said to take things easier.

This was one way of doing it. There were financial considerations.

The reason I ask is I have dreams of doing the same thing myself,

on a smaller scale, of course.

- What's your line, Mr Steed? - Dog kennels.

Hmm. Constant demand, I suppose.

Oh, they're running in and out all the time.

There's accessories, the Fido bowl and various instruments.

I suppose they must have it.

What made you choose Teale & Van Doren?

Well, they're very competitive.

Perhaps you'd like to see the brochure.

- If it's not too much trouble. - Not a bit, be a pleasure.

Well, that was rather good: Steed's Dog Kennels.

Concealed entrances, perfect for ambushing postmen.

Teale & Van Doren seem to have

a particular interest in electronics companies.

Over the past four months, 27 of them have come on the market,

19 by Teale & Van Doren. - Good average.

And each time, they've gained effective control

of one of our key industries.

- Suspicious, isn't it? - Highly.

Here we are. You can keep that. I've got several.

Thank you very much, Victor.

Mrs Gale, this is Mr Victor Gibbs. Mrs Catherine Gale.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

They have got a very good list here.

Oh, yes, they handle a lot of the top people.

Really?

Yes. Remember the Earl of West Dunn

who sold his ancestral home and shipped it out to the States?

Oh, yes. It went out section by section.

They misplaced one of the turrets.

GIBBS CHUCKLES That's him.

His daughter, Lady Cynthia Bellamy, is one of their clients.

Lady Cynthia Bellamy? She must be rolling in it.

Yes. Well, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, perhaps I'll see you later.

Tea is at four.

Good. Thank you very much.

You fancy a dehydrated cucumber sandwich?

No.

Oh, never mind, there's bound to be bloater.

Have a look, Lord Teale.

VAN DOREN: Hold on.

Right. Now, what are Walker's Tools doing this morning?

MAN: 'Er, 59, 61 shillings.'

Couldn't you jack them up a bit?

I've got 500 to go at 63.

- MAN: 'You're an optimist.' - Yeah, that's why I'm a banker.

Stott's?

- MAN: 'Property?' - That's it.

MAN: '15 and 6... 16 shillings.'

- They're going down? - MAN: 'So?'

Well, the results were fabulous. Pre-tax profits up by 40%.

MAN: 'It's the jobbers, old boy. They can't read.

'I think there's a parcel come on the market,

'probably an estate.'

Well, get an answer from...

MAN: 'I thought that's what you paid me for, old boy.'

No, it's your sunny disposition.

- Sell 2,000 at not less than 28. - MAN: 'May take a couple of days.'

I'm not that impatient. That's all.

MAN: 'No buys?'

HE MOUTHS

What about Mearsham?

- MAN: 'Again?' - You heard.

MAN: 'Hold on. 13 and 6, 14 shillings.'

Buy another 10,000 and don't go above 14.

MAN: 'All righty. Is that it?'

- Thank you. - MAN: 'Call you back.'

- How's it coming along? - Well, I've got rid of them all,

except for six parcels. - What about Mearsham?

Oh, when he gets that ten,

we'll have 60,000. - Yeah. How many more can we afford?

Assuming we clear the rest of Lady Cynthia Bellamy's portfolio

and the price doesn't react too much,

it's worth another 140,000.

Good. It's already gone up a shilling so far.

- I hope the Gibbs deal is worth it. - It will be.

Well, I'm going to the parlour and have a drink. You coming?

- Yes, I suppose so. - Balance of payments were up again.

Oh, excellent. Well, things are brightening up.

Even Cooper says so.

We might survive another week, even years.

JOHN: There must be a reference to her somewhere.

Maybe she's not a big socialite.

Well, that's not what I hear.

These things don't start till she arrives.

Ascot, Newmarket, Kempton Park...

No wonder so many of them look like horses.

"Lady Priscilla Marryat-Pryce enjoys a joke on the stairs."

Paging Lady Cynthia Bellamy. Lady...

Perhaps she plays polo. - Somehow I doubt it.

Do you know this is like a family album?

Have a look at that rotund one.

I've seen her at least five times. She's always wolfing ice cream.

Actually, it's just the same party.

They just keep it moving.

- Hold everything. - Where?

There she is. Bless her decolletage.

CATHERINE: "Lady Cynthia Bellamy sits this one out

"with Major Foster MFH,

"the Honourable Jeremy Barnes' Mayfair party."

- Good for Jeremy, what? - Good for the major.

HE LAUGHS Yeah.

Hey, where's he got his hand?

Oh, officer and a gentleman.

Well, we found her. Now what?

Liaise the aristocracy.

Kate, get me the phone book, A to D.

WOMAN SINGING TO HERSELF

WOMAN SINGING CONTINUES

Good afternoon.

Oh. Good afternoon.

Oh, er, may I have a couple of dozen red roses, please?

Mind the water jump, young lady.

That's what comes of biting your fingernails.

Would you send them, please, to a Mrs Catherine Gale?

And it's at this address. - Certainly, sir.

Er, excuse me. Don't I know your face?

No, I think it's the knee that you know. That will be two guineas.

HE CHUCKLES

Well, I never thought that roses

were meant to blush unseen, you know,

or knees. There's two pounds...

Hold on a sec.

..and two shillings.

I'll see they're sent off straight away.

I remember you from somewhere. Don't tell me.

- I can't. I don't know. - It was at a party.

I've seen you at a party.

- Could be. - Polo?

No, I don't dig the divots.

- No, not a pony to play? - Definitely not.

Oh. Oh...

- Deb's ball. - Whose?

- Creighton-Stuart's? - Don't know them. Graham Scott?

No. Campbell Cunningham.

You didn't miss anything, flat champers.

No, it was, er, more recent than that.

- Henley Regatta. - Can't stand the water.

Oh, me. Wimbledon?

Kinky. SHE CLICKS TONGUE

Your advantage.

No, it was a party.

I know it was a party. Roy Musgrove's?

Charming name, but I don't know him.

He's South African. Don't you notice the name?

- Peter Couper with a "u"? - Jeremy Barnes.

- Snap. - That's it. Spiffing do, wasn't it?

- Was it? - Well, surely you remember.

I've never seen so much champagne, buckets full.

That's why I don't remember.

HE SPEAKS IN FRENCH

Ooh, very much so.

Surely, you remember seeing me there.

We had a little joke on the stairs. Old bugs, whiskers Foster,

what, what? Thin red line, you know?

Vaguely. Very, very vaguely.

- How'd you get home? - Floated, I think.

Sure you haven't forgotten the, er, taxi ride?

Taxi? Heavens, I suppose I must've done.

- Oh, you disappoint me, young lady. - It's like writing on water.

- We shared this taxi? - Yeah.

Don't you remember telling the taxi driver. Knightsbridge...

..via Hornchurch. - I said that?

Yes, you naughty girl. Then you started talking money.

You started to advise me on my investments.

Me? But I don't know anything about finance.

You mentioned the name Van, Von...

- Van Doren? - That's right.

Yes. They're my bankers and advisors.

But I can't think why I offered to help you.

Don't tell me you're withdrawing the offer.

Not a bit. I've promised to help, then help I will.

- When? - You know Fratellis?

A steak about this thick, and the zabaglione's fab.

- Divine. What time? - Eight.

Eight it is.

Ooh, what about... er, what about Mrs Gale?

Ooh, she's my old nanny. It's her 69th birthday.

Look, I'll pick you up on the dot of eight.

And bring your portfolio. - I never step outside without it.

Toodle pet.

DOOR CLOSES

Past time we send some of this junk to the laundry.

Oh, never. That's genuine mud from Waterloo.

Huh! Yeah? Mearsham's, 21 shillings.

Thank you very much indeed.

I'll talk to you later, Don.

- Twenty-one shillings? - Yes. Now we can sell.

- Definitely. - Yes, it's not bad,

buy at 14 and sell at 21.

Price might slip when we start selling.

Oh, a little, not much.

Anyway, we have to start buying back.

Lady Cynthia Bellamy's shares. - Yes.

I'll get on to that right away.

KNOCKS ON DOOR Come in.

The HP contracts. The minister's accepted them.

Ah, yes, thank you, Mrs Gale.

- And, Tuesday, the embassy account. - Thank you, Mrs Gale.

Oh, er, by the way, Eric, this is Mrs Gale.

She's taking over from Jenny. This is Mr Van Doren.

- How do you do? - How do you do. It's very sudden.

Yes. Jenny got an unexpected passage to Sydney.

Somewhat ahead of time.

I thought she was going to have to wait for six months.

I, er, think somebody pulled some strings somewhere.

You're probably right.

The rich get richer, and the strings get pulled.

Yeah, thank you very much, Mrs Gale.

I'll look through these, then we'll go over them later.

Very good, sir.

DOOR CLOSES

What's the secret, Basil?

How do you do it? - Ah, it's no secret.

Just as I tell Madge,

if a man spends 18 hours a day at work,

he might as well spend them with pleasant people.

INTERCOM BUZZES Yeah?

A Mr John Steed to see you, sir.

TEALE: 'John Steed? Has he got an appointment?'

- No. - TEALE: 'All right.

'Well, I'll see him in a few moments.'

Very good, sir.

Didn't give me much time, did you?

For His Lordship.

You'll ring if you want anything? My name's Cooper.

Thank you.

Waiting for His Lordship, sir?

Er, yes.

Sherry or Port?

Well, Sherry, please. JOHN CHUCKLES

- Dry, sir? - Very.

Well, that's a very convivial way to do business, isn't it?

What's the matter? - You've gotta get me out of here.

You look as though you grew there.

That man was the man at Wrightson's.

- Are you sure? - Positive.

- Did he recognise you? - He must have done.

You've gotta stay here.

It should produce some action one way or another.

I'll look after him.

Trust me. - Why?

INTERCOM BUZZES Yes, sir?

Send Mr Steed in now, will you, please?

Ah, good afternoon, Steed. - Good afternoon.

Come in. Sit down.

Well, this is a terrific office.

Yes. My partner deals with the contemporary side,

so he has the brass and chrome.

But I specialise in the quality markets.

Cigar? - No, thank you.

You heard something about our friend Wrightson?

No. I didn't expect there to be any more to hear.

The grave is pretty irrevocable.

Any theories on how he made all that money?

Theories? Ha-ha, don't deal in them.

Couldn't have been legal.

Mrs Wrightson seemed as surprised as any of us.

180,000? Who wouldn't be? KNOCKS ON DOOR

Come in.

I approve of the way you do business.

Now, that's extremely civilised.

Thank you very much, Cooper.

TEALE: Thank you, Cooper.

Ah, banking's always been civilised,

probably because it was started by the Italians.

BOTH CHUCKLE Don't quote me.

Oh, it's excellent sherry.

Fringe benefits. Now, what can I do for you?

I promised to contact you

on behalf of a friend of mine. - Yes. Fire away.

He's in business. He's doing extremely well,

and he needs a loan to extend his plant. Can you help?

Well...

..of course, one would have to go into it very carefully

and look into the figures for the past few years,

balance sheets, and so on, but I'm afraid not.

We're heavily committed on the hire-purchase side.

Big investments in Europe.

Perhaps one of the other banks or possibly an insurance company?

Dear me.

Well, I'll suggest that. - Yes. We'd like to help,

but I'm afraid we're fully committed.

I understand. It's only one market.

Not at all. Thanks for...

Good. I like to give these fellows a break.

- Yes, so do we. - Might pull up stakes

and go off to America with it. - Oh, I quite agree.

- Thank you for your time. - Not at all.

What line's your friend in?

- Electronics. - Electronics?

Well, why didn't you say so before?

Sit down. You know, we might go into this.

I think perhaps that we might find a way around this.

Of course, I can't guarantee anything, but...

SHE SPEAKS IN SPANISH

DOORBELL BUZZES

Why don't you use your key?

Thank you. Thank you.

SHE SPEAKS IN SPANISH

Hey, was that my polo ponies?

- No. - Oh.

Compliments of Lady Cynthia?

She didn't think the green carnation suited me.

Have a look at that, for a list of shares.

- Lady Cynthia again? - Yeah, we owe a lot to that girl.

I showed it to an investment broker. He was very impressed.

Very nice mixture of growth and income.

Now, have a look at these.

The index has been 300, 310,

for the past few weeks, no spectacular ups or downs.

Yet all of Lady Cynthia's shares, and I've checked them all,

have gone down, all by equivalent amounts.

Look, see. Now, what do you deduce from that?

They've all been sold.

TELEPHONE RINGS

HE SIGHS

Hello. Yes.

Eh? From this number?

Thank you very much.

It appears that my call to Madrid

cost me £8, ten shillings.

You'll just have to sell some shares then, won't you?

HE LAUGHS

EDITH: It was very nice of you to call.

But to tell you the truth,

the matter's right out of me hands now.

My solicitor, er, Mr Jones, he's taken it up with tax people.

I don't know what's happening.

If only John had been here, I think he could tell you.

Oh, he has been good.

I don't know what I'd have done without him.

Well, I could never have managed on me own.

Sugar? - Yes, please.

The whole thing's beyond me.

180,000's beyond most of us.

I thought it were a joke, honestly, a joke.

I really did. - CATHERINE: I can understand that.

But, I mean,

where did Clarence get his hands on all that money?

A little in the post office, and I have a bit of a dividend...

You haven't any idea?

I'm no wiser

than the day our John sat at this very table and read it out.

You don't mind tea, do you? - I like it.

I'm sure it's not what you are used to in the evenings.

There you are, love. - Thank you.

Oh, nail varnish.

SHE LAUGHS

I've always wanted to try it, but Clarence wouldn't have it.

"Painted women", he always called them.

No offence.

No, of course not.

Do you think your husband could have gotten money from his firm?

- Pinched it, you mean? - Well, I...

I thought of that.

Well, I mean, you think of everything, don't you?

And it's a poor company that wouldn't miss that loss.

- CATHERINE: Yes. - Nay.

He was a straight man, Mrs Gale.

You should have heard the things that Lord Teale said about him,

made me quite proud.

Yes, I'm sure.

1918, it's a long time.

Did your husband see a lot of Lord Teale,

after the war, I mean?

Well, I don't know that he saw him at all,

apart from, er, regimental do's and,

Remembrance Day and things like that, you know.

DOOR OPENS

Hello, son. This is Mrs Gale.

- CATHERINE: How do you do? - Hello.

EDITH: Er, Mrs Gale is a friend of Mr Steed's.

We was just talking about the will.

Oh, I see.

Mrs Gale came to see if there were aught she could do.

Did she? Well, there's not.

Well, I think I'd better be going, Mrs Wrightson.

Well, have another drink of tea.

No, thank you. You've been very kind.

Come again, love, anytime.

Thank you.

Who sent you?

Mr Steed. Your mother just told you.

- What's his interest? - I imagine he'd like to help.

Well, of course, he would. Don't be so suspicious.

Eighteen years we've been here. No-one wanted to help us before.

Perhaps you haven't needed help before.

Good night, Mrs Wrightson. - EDITH: Good night, love.

Vultures.

They'd have the old boy out of his box if they could.

- Weren't very friendly, were you? - Oh, why should I be?

I thought she was very nice.

Oh, don't be taken in, Mum.

They're all after the same thing. "Where did it come from?"

I bet she asked you, didn't she?

- Here, drink your tea already. - Well, didn't she?

No, 'course she didn't.

You never were a very good liar.

Oh, John, I wish we knew.

I'd tell you if I thought it would do any good.

You know something?

Yeah, I reckon so.

We'll be all right, Mum.

Don't you worry.

DOOR UNLOCKS

ATTACKER GRUNTS

FLOWER VASE CLINKING

ATTACKER GRUNTS

DOORBELL BUZZES REPEATEDLY

You darling.

You absolute darling.

What did I do?

DOOR CLOSES

You're not wounded or anything, are you?

Of course not. Look...

- How did you do it? - Do what?

You don't look all that muscular.

You must be very deceptive. - I am.

Now, what have I done?

Golly. Goliath, my devoted bodyguard.

Oh, the fellow in the shop, yeah. You knocked him out.

Was it a pedal piledriver or a Boston crab or an Irish whip?

Oh, I adore wrestling, don't you?

All those big strong men grunting at one another?

Er, yeah, not at this time in the morning, though.

Did you wreck the shop as well?

- Ah, not quite. - Oh, how divine.

Anyhow, Golly's very upset. He was a contender.

- What for? - I don't know.

But I know he contended, more than once, I think.

I'll have to ask him. I want to ask you a question first.

Blast off, Samson.

Have you, by any chance, sold any of your shares?

Shares? Of course not.

Open up.

- Oh, what is it, eh? - It's for you.

Oh.

Machine mad, that's what we are.

Made by one of our own companies.

- Oh, is it? - Huh? Excellent bit of kit.

Oh, a hypocrite.

Anyway, for the record,

we made a profit of £71,268 on the Mearsham deal.

Excellent bit of business, Eric. I congratulate you.

The last from that particular source.

Yes, unfortunately, best batman any man ever had.

I shall miss him.

Did we take up the option

on the Gibbs Electronics stock? - Yes

INTERCOM BUZZES

- Yeah? - CATHERINE: 'There you are, sir.'

There's a Mr John Wrightson on the phone for you.

- Take it here. - All right. Put him on.

Very good, sir.

I'm putting you through now, Mr Wrightson.

Yes, all right, nine o'clock tonight.

RECEIVER CLICKS DOWN What does he want?

- Wants to see me. - What for?

To do a deal, whatever that may mean.

You think he's on to us?

Don't you? TEALE SIGHS

What should I say?

I think he'll do most of the talking.

I should say as little as you can.

Well, he hasn't any proof. He can't have.

He's got £180,000's worth,

if only he knows how to use it.

RADIO PLAYING POP MUSIC

KNOCKS ON DOOR Wait.

Ah, good evening, Your Lordship.

Come in.

Do sit down.

Glad you could make it.

Didn't sound much like an invitation.

RADIO SHUTS OFF

- Beer? - No, thank you.

Well...

..I think I know how it was done.

Are we interested? - Should I be?

They're after you, eh?

Are you suggesting that I was involved with your father?

Yeah, that's the general drift of it.

Odd bedfellows, wouldn't you say?

Supply and demand, that's what they call it.

You've got something that's good, you generally find a market.

Who supplied who in this mythical enterprise of yours?

Dad supplied you, with the information,

financial information.

Dad and you.

Yeah, it was an unlikely team, and that was good.

Who'd expect a 20-quid-a-week man to hobnob with a big bank?

Uh-huh, indeed.

Ah, but you see, Dad was a top draftsman.

So when an order would come through for a new banknote

or a new share certificate,

he was the first to be told.

That's before it's publicly announced, right?

Now, I'm no mastermind,

but I can guess what it was worth to you.

Absolutely fantastic.

- You think so? - Where's your proof?

Oh, I don't need proof.

- No? - No. That's up to the police.

I'll leave the police to find the proof.

Oh, you think they'll believe it?

With 180,000 quid to account for?

They'll believe it.

BOTTLE CAP CLATTERS

OPENER CLATTERS ON TABLE

BEER POURING GLASS CLINKS

Have you mentioned this to the police yet?

Not yet.

I look at it like this.

Could I have my old mother living off dishonest money

or could I... - Sentiment seems to enter

pretty late into your argument.

Ah, that's me, business first.

What do you want from me?

- A pension. - For your old mother?

Oh, no, for me.

Oh, something purely nominal, say, er...

..10,000...

..a year.

Huh.

Well, that's it, every single one of them.

You mean investments have gone back up?

By almost identical amounts.

Lady Cynthia's back in profit again. But she won't be much longer

if she keeps emptying her shop on you.

She's a dear.

"To Samson, love Delilah."

In other words, the investments have been repurchased.

- Exactly. - Why?

I don't know. It's a pretty expensive business.

Registration fees, stamp duty.

I think somebody must have needed cash in hand.

- Just for a few weeks. - Yes. And I'm beginning to see why.

Couple of days ago, Van Doren mentioned to me

a company called Mearsham's.

They made a free issue, caused quite a stir.

Much effect on the share price?

Yes, it rose quite steeply, from about 15 to 21 shillings.

Oh, good thing to be in on.

I'm certain Teale & Van Doren were in on it.

You think it wasn't such a surprise issue to them?

Maybe.

Who knows when an issue's going to be made?

Well, as few people as possible. Board of directors, obviously.

And it's not confirmed until the annual general meeting.

- Just a formality, yeah. - Yes.

The share certificates are usually posted the next day.

What about people who make the share certificates?

Yes, of course.

In order to print them, they have to know in advance, too.

First prize. HE YELPS

Sell the interest in one of our electronic firms.

- No, never. - Don't be stupid, Basil.

We haven't anything in hand. We need cash.

We haven't got Wrightson to rely on now.

That leech of a son of his will bleed us dry.

Still not selling.

And what is your alternative?

I'd kill him sooner than that.

- Kill him? - Yes.

- You can't be serious. - Oh, yes, I am.

We have a unique role to fill, Eric.

Never forget that.

We can help make this country great again

and save the world.

That's a reasonable life's achievement.

You don't think so?

I don't know, Basil.

I don't know.

I'm a banker.

I'm not a politician. I'm not a soldier.

HE SCOFFS Soldiers.

There aren't such things any longer. They're as dead as the dodo.

But you still have to match force with force.

And the only force that matters in the world today

is the sort that our electronic companies provide,

companies that we've financed and developed,

companies like Gibbs.

I can't fight on the battlefield any longer,

but I can fight on the field of finance.

And if we win,

well, that's a reasonable life's achievement.

Satisfied?

I wondered who wanted Mum out the way.

She should have told you I'd left my job.

You would have helped?

Did you find what you were looking for?

I think so.

The bits are beginning to fit, hmm?

Well, I'm sorry you got so interested in this bit.

You think I've spiked your guns?

I think you've spiked your own.

HE EXHALES

Basil, have you got the draft agreement with Gibbs?

No, I've sent it round down to Records.

Why, do you want it? - Please.

TEALE CLICKS INTERCOM

- CATHERINE: 'Yes, sir.' - Oh, erm, Mrs Gale,

did you take that draft agreement down to Records yet?

Gibbs Electronics, yes.

TEALE: 'I'm sorry to bother you.

'Would you bring it up again, please?'

Yes, of course.

I don't trust her.

Oh, relax, Eric.

Honestly, does she look like Inland Revenue?

No. But I still don't trust her.

Do you bank here, too?

No, I keep mine in a tea tin.

Oh. Good day.

What the devil are you doing here?

- We just want a word with you, sir. - He's on to you.

What do you mean?

WRIGHTSON: He knows how it was done.

So much for his friend's electronics company.

Is this true?

The tip offs from Wrightson,

suspected killings on the stock market

using your clients' money, it's true.

You see? You'll be reading it in the papers next.

Where's your proof?

The sale of Lady Cynthia Bellamy's investments

and their repurchase. All those deals will be recorded.

What do you want to do, ruin it?

My partner and I are directors of 60 or 70 companies, Mr Steed.

- There's... - Can't you imagine

the effect this would have?

I can very well. But isn't it a little late to think of that?

We didn't do it to make money for ourselves.

We haven't a penny in cash...

What about Wrightson, my old batman, huh?

He was your, er, percentage man.

He ended up with 180,000.

He wasn't helping a few dozen lame scientists.

Why's it always electronics?

Somebody had to support them.

The country wouldn't.

What Mr Van Doren told you is the truth, Mr Steed.

We've made very little profit out of this.

But these men, these scientists and engineers,

they're our only hope. Don't you see that?

We lent capital to a man in a small garage in Cricklewood.

And today, his electronics firm is the finest in the country.

He was one of the good ones, one of the few.

There isn't a rocket or a missile in the Western world

that doesn't owe something to him and to us.

Now, look, Mr Steed...

..I beg you... can't you forget this?

I'm very sorry.

- TEALE: Money? - No.

I'm a patriot, not a traitor.

Is that your last word? - Yes.

All right. You wanted a pension. You can have it.

First of all, you have to earn it.

What, kill him?

Execute him would have been my word, but that's what I mean, yes.

10,000 a year is a lot of money.

Take him in that room there.

DOOR OPENS

We'll fix it so it looks as if they've killed each other.

DOOR CLOSES Hey, you go in there with them.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

I'll get rid of Mrs Gale.

DOOR OPENS KNOCKS ON DOOR

DOOR CLOSES Come in.

- The draft brief. - Thank you, Mrs Gale.

Mrs Gale, I wonder if you would, er, run an errand for me.

I need some papers collected from Jennings

of the Municipal Insurance at Cheapside.

Would you do that for me?

- Yes, of course. - Take a taxi.

Have some lunch while you're at it.

Put it on the ticket for the chief accountant.

Very good, sir.

I don't see how you could go in for all this.

You're playing second fiddle to a crack.

Don't you realise that?

It's still not too late, though.

What's a little fraud amongst friends? But murder?

I see he's even got you holding a gun.

Look, you're a businessman, Van Doren.

Making money, that's your life.

He's mad. Surely, you see that.

Now we've established that, I'm gonna find Steed.

Wrightson!

You really think it's worth it?

Well?

Please don't. She says she'll break my arm.

All right, come on. Over there, the three of you.

HE SNAPS FINGERS Quick!

You all right, Mrs Gale? - Yes.

Excuse me, sir. I've taken the liberty of calling the police.

Anything else I can do? - Keep an eye on 'em.

This'll keep you for a couple of months.

There's a plane at the London airport, leaves for Johannesburg.

- First class? - Tourist. And keep out of trouble.

So, that's how you won your war.

Yes, sir, typically I Corps.

HE SNAPS FINGERS Take him downstairs.

HE DIALS PHONE

I wouldn't refuse a tourist ticket to Johannesburg just now.

Who are you phoning?

I'm still after that pair of polo ponies.

Well, they're not gonna sell them behind your back.

That's very likely what might happen.

There's a very important person after them.

SHE GASPS

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