Original subtitles

GUNSHOT FIRES

GUNSHOT FIRES

INTERCOM BELL RINGS

- Who is it? - JOHN: It's me.

Oh, come in.

- Good morning. - Morning.

- You busy? - Yes.

I've come to say goodbye.

I'm off to New York. - Uh-uh!

Off to where? - I'm off to New York now.

I'm clearing out my cupboards

cos I shan't be needing these things for some time

cos I shan't be eating in and I thought

you might be able to use them. - Thank you, Steed.

I shall probably be away for some time.

I shall be able to get some of my own work done then.

Yes. This will be quite a welcome change for you, won't it?

There are certain things here I thought you'd like in particular.

So, I picked them out. Sugared mangoes go very well

with corn flakes, I think. - Good. I'll remember that.

Yeah, I've been trying to get rid of those for years.

I'll probably be going on to Washington, too.

Do you know Professor David Renter? - Yes.

You do? Well, apparently, he's solved the problem

of high-speed industrial film.

Oh, good. I knew he was on the point of it.

Well, that's all I know about him.

I'm apparently to accompany the old boy on the trip.

You know, in case he gets too talkative to strangers.

Just a routine job.

I hear he's rather a dry old stick. I'd much rather take you.

Much rather take you.

Four and a half days' luxury.

An ocean liner, the sea, the sun, the moonlight.

You obviously don't read the weather report.

Last week's crossing was a very rough one.

This is a rare treat! Bumblebees, jellied, made in Japan.

- Splendid. - If there's one place they know

how to jelly a bumblebee, it's good old Nippon.

I'm gonna miss you, of course.

- I hope you both have a good trip. - Thank you very much.

I just had to come and tell you about it.

Well, goodbye, Mrs Gale. - Goodbye, Steed.

Yes, well, the change will do me good.

Do us both good.

- I'll phone you when I get back. - You do that.

Send you a postcard?

Put a stamp on it this time.

DOORBELL JINGLES

- Good morning, Mrs Renter. - Yes?

My name is Steed, John Steed. Your husband's home?

I'm afraid not. Er, are you selling something?

Oh, this is a business matter. When will he be in?

Er, he's gone away. Perhaps I can let him know you called.

Hold on one minute. I'll just give you my card.

- Oh. - There we are.

- Thank you. Oh, butterfingers! - Oh, dearie me.

I'll get it for you.

Thank you so much. SHE EXCLAIMS

It's a very important matter.

When's he likely to be back?

Erm, I'm afraid you don't understand, Mr, er, Steed.

My husband has gone into retirement.

- I beg your pardon? - Er, for some time now,

he's been intending to renounce worldly goods.

He's always been a millionaire.

He inherited a fortune from his father.

But now, he's seeking a simpler way of life.

He went into meditation a week ago.

I see. Will you be joining him?

In the course of time.

Is this your husband?

Yes. It was done last year. He's a fine-looking man.

JOHN: Very fine indeed.

Would it be possible to get in touch with him?

Oh, no. I'm afraid the directors of Adelphi Park

don't allow visitors.

- Is this his laboratory? - Yes,

this is where he did all his work. - Did his work?

But surely, is he going into retirement for the rest of his life?

Yes, that's what retirement means.

But he's at the height of his career.

I mean, what is he, 60? - 61 in May.

I'm very surprised that he didn't tell

the Research Council about this. - He went rather suddenly.

I'm sorry I can't be of any further assistance, Mr Steed.

Er, you will let him know that I called?

- I will. - And thank you.

How long do you think it'll take you to perfect the part?

Well, in the old days, I used to learn my parts in a few hours.

This is a bit different, of course,

but I shouldn't think it'll take too long.

Good. We'll move you down to Adelphi Park

at the end of the week. - Well, that's good, Mr Lomax.

I'm looking forward to that. - Who was it?

A man called Steed. He wanted to see my husband.

- What about? - I don't know.

He was a salesman or something.

- All right. Now, where were we? - You were describing the garden.

Yes. It was a large garden with a 300-year-old lawn.

And there were some rhododendron bushes to the, er,

left of the fish pond?

No. It was a herbaceous border on that side.

I remember so well because

that's where we first met behind the herbaceous border.

It was his birthday...

Mrs Renter, I'm sure he has all that by now.

Now, let's go over this again. Where were you born?

Er, 5th of May, 1902, at Wickhamstead in Berkshire.

- Exact address? - Er, Fairfield Tate Lane.

- Your father's full name? - Harold Frederick.

- You were christened? - David Frederick Renter.

Splendid!

How's Professor Renter's replacement?

Good, good. One of the best we've had yet.

When are you going to find a replacement

for my late lamented husband? - Don't you worry about that.

It'll only take a couple of days.

Besides, nobody's gonna miss him anyway.

SHE CHUCKLES Least of all me.

DOOR CLOSES

Daphne.

Well, this is a surprise. - Hi.

You've, er, just interrupted a rather important discussion.

Oh, I couldn't stand it a minute longer.

- Hmm? What happened? - I just got bored.

I mean, finishing school is one thing.

But being stuck 3,000 feet up in the Swiss Alps

with a gaggle of screaming females is not my idea of fun.

No, I suppose not.

Don't worry, though. Father won't mind. Is he in?

He's, erm, gone away for a few days.

Oh? Well, then what's Mr Lomax doing here?

I told you, we were just discussing business.

It's all to do with your father.

Now, look, why don't you go and wash and change?

And then when you come back, you can tell us

all about Switzerland, hmm? - OK.

Welcome home.

Thought you said she wasn't coming back for another month!

She wasn't meant to.

What are you gonna tell her about her father, huh?

I'm gonna say he's gone into retirement.

That's what I'd like to do with you.

What? HE CHUCKLES

- Go into retirement. - But not at Adelphi Park.

BELL RINGS

Yes?

Good morning. May I see Professor Renter, please?

Have you got a yellow card?

- Er, I'm afraid I haven't, no. - Well, I'm afraid he won't see you.

Oh, wait! How do I get hold of this, er, little yellow card?

If he didn't give you one before he came,

it means he doesn't want to see you.

Look, this is extremely important. He's expecting me.

I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

Now, hold on a minute. Perhaps you'll forgive me.

Here we are. Here's my card. Hold on a second.

All right, there's all the time in the world.

Now, I'm sure that when he knows who I am,

he'll want to get in touch with me.

Good day, Mr Steed.

- WOMAN: Hello, Mrs Lomax. - Hello.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Mrs Paula Madden here.

MRS LOMAX: 'Could I speak to my husband, please?'

It's your wife.

Hello?

There's a man been here looking for Renter.

Thought you'd want to know. Do you want to know?

Yes, I want to know. Did you get his name?

He insisted on leaving his card.

His name's John Steed. Five Westminster Mews.

Wrote something on the back of the card.

Would you like to know what it was?

Yes, I'd like to know what it was.

It says "Queen Mary, New York."

Now, don't you think that's interesting?

I won't know how interesting it is until I talk to Mrs Renter.

Maybe she knows what it's all about. I'll have to go and see her.

Oh, won't Paula mind? 'Course it's only next door, isn't it?

Must be most convenient for you.

MR LOMAX: 'Is that all?'

Have you thought about my proposition?

'Yeah, no chance. Out of the question.'

Oh, sorry about that. You won't like prison.

No-one ever does.

Now, you hear me! And hear me good!

You try and jail me, you bring trouble on yourself!

I don't think so! After all, I was dragged into it.

A wife has to do what her husband tells her.

Lives on what the lord and master gives her.

Since our relationship has somewhat deteriorated

and we're no more than just good business partners,

I think it should be a 50-50 share-out.

I'll give you till tomorrow to think about it.

So, she's threatening us again.

She's gonna give me till tomorrow morning to think about it!

Darling, what are we going to do?

Call The Undertakers.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Green's Funeral Parlour?

Oh, yes, yes.

Tomorrow night? Good, good.

That's right, Mr Harper. Remove the lid.

Oh, and tomorrow night, gentlemen, we'll all be working late again.

I hope you don't mind.

- No. - Not me.

Good, good. I do like working with cooperative people.

- Where are my jellied bumblebees? - I ate them.

You did?

That's what you gave them to me for, wasn't it?

- How could you? - They were delicious.

I thought they were supposed to be one of your favourites.

Certainly not.

Huh, you never know with the Orient.

They might have jellied the sting.

SHE CHUCKLES Steed, what went wrong today?

Professor Renter has retired from the world.

Joined some exclusive cult.

And he's gone into meditation at their retreat just outside London.

It's very, very inconvenient and very sudden.

But not surprising. He's probably overworked.

I went to the place this afternoon. There's a high wall around it.

And there was a chain across the door.

I couldn't even get in to see him. There's a Mrs Lomax there,

and she sort of guards the place.

She won't let you in without a yellow card.

HE CHUCKLES Well, that's all right,

provided it gives Professor Renter the peace and quiet he wants.

Well, he can go into meditation with a vengeance. He's welcome.

If only he'd left his plans outside. Oh, that reminds me.

Here's something. Have a look at it.

That's a copy of the local electoral register from the Town Hall.

I wanted to see how many inmates there were at Adelphi Park.

Steed, don't these names mean anything to you?

No, I just counted it.

Well, have a look at this. Horace Oxenbow.

- Horace who? - Oxenbow.

Harold Daly?

That strikes a chord.

Steed, all these people are millionaires.

HE SNAPS HIS FINGER

- Oh, good morning, sir. - Mr Green? I am Mr Small.

Small, Blake & Somber. Finest funeral suppliers.

No doubt you received our card? - I don't think so.

You've heard of Small, Blake & Somber?

- Er, no, I'm afraid not. - Oh, dear, dear me.

Now, you're an old established firm, eh, Mr Green?

Thirty years, man and boy. My father before it.

That's wonderful, but haven't you ever thought

you wanted to be more up-to-date? Operate more economically?

- Well, how? - So glad you asked me.

Oh, my goodness.

That's tasteful, that's very tasteful.

Thank you. Now, let me show you how Small, Blake & Somber

plan to help your smaller funeral director.

Now, this here is a grave extracting unit.

- A what? - A grave extracting unit.

It cuts down on manpower, saves several hundred in wages.

Operated by one man. Accurate to a quarter of an inch.

Adaptable to all types of soil, petrol, four horsepower.

No, I never need one of those, Mr Small. I'm too small a...

I hardly ever need more than one digger at a time.

Now, illustrates in colour a complete range of plastic flowers.

No wilting, always in season.

We can supply the correct fragrance to go with your room.

Eight and six, your smaller bottle, ten and six, larger.

No, no, no.

Now, here we have our list of tape-recorded music.

Saves hiring your organist, no bad notes, unsuitable hymns.

And it can be faded down and played all the way through.

- Oh, no, no. - Now, this is our must.

This is our pride at Small, Blake & Somber.

Mr Small, I have been an undertaker...

- Funeral director. - Call it what you like.

I've been burying people... - Interning, interning...

- Putting people in their graves... - Resting places, Mr Green.

..for nearly a whole lifetime.

There isn't the money or the inclination in the district

for all this fancy stuff. - Oh, come now, Mr Green.

What about your clients at Adelphi Park?

I'm sure you'd like to provide a Class A supreme service

for that sort of person.

Mr Small, I think I can say without boasting

we are able to provide a funeral service

fit for any standard of living.

We've got one on our hands at the moment.

Let me show you.

I know what you big suppliers think of small family concerns like mine.

But you have a look at this!

No-one could do a more complete service.

The late Mrs Lomax.

BELL JINGLES

- No chain today? - Good morning.

Don't you remember? John Steed.

Oh, yes, of course. You're the salesman.

Well, not actually.

I thought you said you were a salesman

the last time you came.

Mrs Renter, I should like to speak to you if it's possible.

The last time, it was my husband you wanted to speak to.

- And this time, it's you. - Oh. Oh. Come in then.

Thank you.

What a charming place you have here. - Yes. It was designed for us.

Such a charming young man.

Oh, Mrs Renter, are you aware that your husband

should have been in New York yesterday?

He didn't say anything to me about it.

Are you su...

Are you sure? - Why was he going?

For the past few months, your husband has found

a completely new approach to the problem

of high-speed industrial film. - Oh.

He said nothing to me about it.

Well, in the past few weeks, he reported

to the Research Council that he perfected his idea.

So, the British and American governments decided

to give him time to develop this invention, you see.

And this meeting is to take place in New York on Wednesday.

- I see. And whom do you represent? - Well, I...

I'm just the civil servant who is to accompany him on the trip.

So, you can see it's terribly important I see him.

But I told you, Mr Steed. My husband has gone into meditation.

I understand. If I had a yellow card,

I can get into Adelphi Park and see him.

Oh, I'm sorry. They're for relatives only.

Didn't he leave a message for me? These plans must be somewhere.

It's imperative they get to New York.

He never mentioned you.

This could be very good for you and your husband.

The government is prepared to finance his invention

to a very high degree.

The inventor's royalties alone could amount to, oh, a million pounds!

But I already have a million.

I'm sure another one wouldn't be in the way, huh?

Well, I'm not so sure.

What with death duties, being rich hardly seems worthwhile.

I suppose not.

Mrs Renter, may I put it in another way?

If I don't go back with the plans,

my boss is gonna be very, very angry.

Oh, I see.

Would you like to sit down, Mr Steed?

- Thank you. - I'll see if there's anything

in my husband's laboratory. - Thank you very much, Mrs Renter.

Hello.

Good afternoon, young lady.

Where did you spring from?

Next door. The balcony runs all the way around.

Convenient.

Am I disturbing you?

No, I was just looking around.

What's for you?

- Er, brandy, if you have any. - Mm-hm.

I, er, I think you'll like this one. It's a five-star Napoleon.

HE CHUCKLES I'm quite sure I shall.

Thank you. Cheers.

Are you a burglar?

Er, well, not exactly professionally, you know.

Mrs Renter and I were going through some papers.

- Oh, she's here then? - Yes, she's in the laboratory

searching there. - Mm-hm.

I understand the professor's taken up, er, meditating.

Oh, he's been talking about doing that for years.

Did you really mean for years?

Well, ever since before I went off to Switzerland.

- Skiing? - No, finishing school.

But they said that I really was the end,

so they threw me out. - Do you know the professor well?

Oh, yes. Our families have always been locked in each other's bosoms.

Ever since the professor and my father went to school together.

- Really? Who is your father? - Robert Madden.

- The... The Robert Madden? - Mm-hm.

All those concrete rabbit warrens out there.

He owns every other one.

I wonder if I might speak to your father,

he might tell me something about the professor.

My father disappeared three days ago.

- Oh, disappeared... - Mr Steed?

Oh, hello, Daphne!

Oh, you've got yourself a drink. Good. Mr Steed?

Excuse me.

I'm afraid I can't find anything.

Oh! SHE LAUGHS

But I'm going to Adelphi Park tonight,

so I'll search through my husband's things there.

- Why not ask him? - That's exactly what I meant.

- When will you be back? - That's indefinite.

You see, I'm going to become the matron there.

Won't that be very hard work?

I shall have to find an assistant, of course.

I'm just going to do the administration.

I actually thought looking after this great big penthouse

would give you plenty to do. - Oh, don't imagine

I'm going to work for my living, Mr Steed.

Adelphi Park is run by friends of mine.

I'm just going to keep an eye on the place.

We can keep an eye on her.

Why do you want to send her to look after Adelphi Park?

- Because I think it's a good idea! - And I think she's cuckoo!

Well, exactly. It's why it's a good idea.

Listen, the matron at Adelphi Park is just as cut off

from the outside world as the inmates are.

This Mrs Renter's so dumb, she's the perfect alibi.

She actually believes that what we're doing is morally right.

- She won't be able to cope! - Don't you worry about that.

I'm gonna get her an assistant that can cope.

- But it could be risky! - There's no risk involved.

Naturally, I'm gonna get her an assistant that we can trust.

But that could be risky too!

Come on, Paula! I've thought about this!

LOUDLY: Why don't you think about it some more?

I wish I knew what you saw in that man, Paula.

He's a friend of the family.

He's no friend of mine.

It's too bad. If you don't like it,

why don't you go back to Switzerland?

Yes, it must be rather embarrassing having me home again.

Since you bring the matter up, yes.

And that's why my father's gone away.

What do you mean?

He couldn't stand it any longer watching you with Lomax!

- Have you quite finished? - No, I haven't!

I want to know about my father.

Either you tell me where he is or I'm going to the police!

- They won't be able to help you. - Well, we'll see!

It's not going to do you any good to know what's happened.

Well, what has happened?

Your father's ill. We had to put him in a home.

I don't believe it.

It's the truth, Daphne.

Well, then, can I see him?

No.

It will be quite some time before either of us see him.

DOOR RINGER BUZZES

I'll go.

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

- Is Mr Madden in? - No, I'm afraid not.

He asked me to call on him.

It was about the donation he wanted to make

to the Architects Friendly Society benefit.

May I come in?

I'm, er, Mrs Madden.

Now, what was this about a donation?

It's simply that he asked me to call on him today at this time.

And when did he talk to you about this?

The day before yesterday.

But I'm afraid that's quite impossible.

- Why? - Because my husband

left for the country on Tuesday.

Then, my secretary must have got the message wrong.

Could you tell me the whereabouts in the country I might find him?

My husband's gone into retirement. He's staying at Adelphi Park.

- Thank you. - Oh, but I'm afraid

you can only write to him there. He won't see any visitors.

JOHN: Diced melon...

..ice...

..and agitate vigorously.

Agitate vigorously, agitate vigorously.

HE SIGHS

When did Paula Madden say that her husband went to Adelphi Park?

On Tuesday.

Well, the professor couldn't have been there much longer.

Doesn't it strike you as odd that two millionaires,

both of them... Oh, I'm so sorry.

Both of them neighbours,

should go away and hide themselves like that?

No. Steed, I've been looking at this electoral register again.

There's something else the inmates of Adelphi Park have in common.

You know how some wealthy people give away their money

before they die? - To evade death duties?

Well, it's not exactly evasion. It's perfectly legal.

You see, the death duties on a million pounds

would be 800,000.

HE WHISTLES

Now, that would make a sizeable drop in the standard of living of, say,

the widow who was left with only 200,000.

There's always National Assistance.

Yes. So, the wise millionaire makes over his money

to his next of kin before death. That way, it's a gift and tax-free.

- Sounds too easy. - Mm. Exactly. There is a snag.

You see, the gift must be made

not less than five years before death.

Otherwise, the duty is still payable.

You explain it quite beautifully, Mrs Gale.

What's this got to do with Adelphi Park?

What if there were a way of keeping the millionaire alive

for the required five years?

On the books at least.

You see, no-one ever sees the inmates of Adelphi Park.

Quite.

Of course, there is one person who could see all the inmates.

Oh, are you proposing to scale the high wall?

Oh, no, nothing so energetic.

But they're looking for an assistant, er, matron, female.

It's time we were moving, gentlemen.

The lid's on.

I was getting worried about you.

The traffic back to town was slower than the funeral.

How was your wife's funeral?

Good, good. Where's Daphne?

Oh, she's out. She went for a drive.

I... had to tell her about her father.

- You what? - Well, not the truth, darling.

But she went on and on and on, so, in the end,

I told her her father has gone into a home.

Oh, good, good.

I'll buy a drink on that.

You know, as a woman,

I find something rather intriguing about a murderer.

HE SCOFFS

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,

but I've never killed anybody in my life.

I have some men in the country that do that for me.

The Undertakers.

Mm.

A woman came round here today asking to see my husband.

- Oh? Who was she? - Oh, I don't know.

It doesn't matter. - Well, sure it matters!

Darling, by now,

she'll be on her way to look him up at Adelphi Park

and you can take care of her there. - Well, what'd she want?

Oh, she said something about a donation

for some Architect's Friendly Society.

Come on, honey, that could have been a genuine thing.

Maybe he did offer to give 'em something.

Darling, my late husband never gave away a penny in his life.

That woman was a phony.

Yes.

Yes, I've got that.

We'll keep an eye open for her.

Bye-bye.

By the way, if a woman calls

from the Architect's Friendly Society

and asks to see Mr Madden,

invite her in and let me know immediately.

Yes, of course.

Sorry to disturb you,

but have you got the key of the croquet cupboard?

Harold and I wanted to have a game while it's still fine.

Certainly, my dear. Mrs Gale, would you mind?

The keys are on the board behind you.

Oh, of course, you haven't met my husband, have you?

Professor Renter? - How do you do?

This is Mrs Gale who's come to help me.

She just started today.

Would you like a cup of tea to take along with you, dear?

- Yes, I would, my dear. - Is this the key?

Yes, that's the one.

I hope that you'll enjoy working with, er, my wife.

Yes, I'm sure I shall.

You take sugar?

I should think you ought to know that by this time, my dear.

Oh, thank you. See you at supper.

Well... SHE CHUCKLES

..you must have guessed.

- That isn't your husband. - No. My husband is dead.

You see, there's an organisation called The Undertakers.

They arrange to keep people, millionaires like my husband, alive.

SHE LAUGHS

Does seem a funny name for it, The Undertakers, doesn't it?

But they're terribly nice people.

You'd like them. How many lumps, my dear?

Er, two, please.

Well, you see, three years ago,

my husband made all his money over to me.

That would have been all right

if he'd lived for a further five years.

But if a person dies in less than five years,

then the government comes along and takes all your money.

- Yes, I know all about that. - Oh, good. Then, you'll understand.

Well, this organisation called The Undertakers

promises to keep the person legally alive.

And for that, they only take 25%.

SHE KISSES

So, when my husband died,

all I had to do was to call The Undertakers

and they've quietly disposed of the body

and my husband's name was taken on

by this retired actor gentleman you just met.

And what happens to him after the five years?

Oh, The Undertakers will look after him.

Aren't you taking a great risk?

I don't think so.

This death duty business is wicked, breaking up all the old estates.

Everybody would be on our side if there were any trouble.

But how do you know you can trust me?

SHE CHUCKLES

Because I know all about your criminal record.

I checked back with the agency who sent you.

I spoke to such a nice gentleman who told me all about you.

I think his name was Steed.

SHE LAUGHS

That's funny. I know another Mr Steed.

Well, I think it's a wonderful idea.

Yes. Mr Lomax runs the organisation. You should meet him soon.

Is that who I'm working for now?

Oh, no. There's another gentleman above him.

Er, but I don't know who it is.

Well, what time do you expect Lomax to arrive?

No idea. You know how it is.

Pops down to Adelphi Park perhaps once a week.

Should be in here within a couple of days.

Well, let me know the moment he turns up.

Is Mrs Renter managing all right?

Well, she's a rather curious person. But I expect she'll be all right.

Oh, she's got herself an assistant, a Mrs Gale.

Do we know anything about her?

I believe Mrs Renter checked on her.

Apparently, she was in jail at some time.

Oh, then I think we can trust her.

Why, I must be getting down to Adelphi Park.

I've got a funeral there this morning.

Is everything all right in there?

Yes, yes. You've fixed the room up quite nicely.

Oh, er, you might bring me back a pound of lump sugar.

Of course.

Oh, by the way,

what do you intend to do with Lomax when he arrives?

Kill him, of course.

Well, my dear, the time has come for you to pass on.

Soon, you'll be joining your loved ones in the promised land.

Oh, who's that for?

- For you, my dear. - How nice!

Such beautifully polished wood.

But, of course, fit for a millionairess.

I do hope you have a restful journey.

BOTH LAUGH

Now, here's your ticket, and some pocket money for the trip.

And we've already paid 2,000 pounds sterling

into the Bank of New South Wales in your name.

SHE LAUGHS I mean, your real name.

Oh, but, of course.

The taxi for Mrs Baker's just arrived.

Then, if you are ready, Mrs Baker.

It'll be so lovely for you to see your son again.

Mr Lomax has written to tell him

exactly what time your ship will arrive in Sydney.

Thank you. Goodbye.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Mrs Baker. - Goodbye.

MAN: Very nice funeral. Very nice.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

MAN COUGHS

Excuse me. Could you tell me where I could find Mr Madden?

Hmm? Oh, yes.

There's Mr Madden over there, my dear.

Thank you.

Daddy?

Hmm?

Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for Mr Madden.

I am Mr Madden.

But you're not my father.

That's right, my dear.

Mr Lomax? Green here. Daphne Madden has turned up at Adelphi Park.

What do you want me to do?

All right, yes. See you later.

Well, what'd he say?

Wants me to keep her at Adelphi Park till he turns up.

He's leaving London now with your wife.

Oh, how very accommodating of him.

But tell me, when's your next fake funeral?

Well, there's a lady went off to Australia this morning.

Now, she was posing as Dame Gwyneth Hope Griffith.

Made over her two million pound estate to her younger sister.

Died three weeks later.

I remember her. Charming old lady.

A charming two million pounds.

From the death duties you saved the sister,

you must have made, er... Erm, 160,000.

I hope you don't feel that I haven't been looking after you properly.

Oh, no, no, no. You've been most generous.

And in future, you can do even better

now that I've decided that the organisation

can dispense with Mr Lomax completely.

Now, about tomorrow's funeral,

instead of the usual load of bricks, the coffin will contain Mr Lomax.

Lomax, three-fifteen. And what about your wife?

I haven't quite decided.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Adelphi Park, assistant matron.

Steed here. I'm in Renter's apartment.

The plans aren't here. She's cleared the place out.

How are your patients? - We were right about this place.

All these millionaires are phonies.

They're standing in for people who've died.

That's just what I thought.

I've got the income tax revenue to look at that list of names.

All of them left money to their inheritors during their lifetime.

They probably made a contract with The Undertakers to keep them alive

officially during the five-year period. It's a neat little racket.

CATHERINE: 'Listen, there's been a new development here.

'Daphne Madden's arrived demanding to see her father.

'Lomax and Paula Madden

'are coming down this afternoon to collect her.

'I think you ought to be here.'

JOHN: 'Yes, I'll get down there right away.

Hey, on your way down, have a look at Green's Funeral Parlour.

Well, Lomax should be there soon. Are you ready?

Just finishing this.

Hmm. I think this should be rather interesting.

Are you quite sure my daughter's safe?

Oh, yes. Nothing will happen until Lomax gets there.

Mrs Renter wouldn't harm her.

It's loaded. - Good.

Now, tell me, Green.

When Lomax ordered you to murder me and dispose of my body,

why didn't you?

Well, sir, I reckon the organisation could operate without Mr Lomax.

It certainly couldn't operate without you.

After all, it takes a millionaire

to be on speaking terms with other millionaires.

And without you, how would we ever find any new clients?

I see. So, it wasn't a question of personal loyalty.

Oh, no, Sir. I'm in this for what I can get out of it.

That's why you can trust me.

All right, Frank, it's all yours.

GLASS BREAKS

HE SCREAMS

Your step-mother should be here soon.

I think it'd be better if you left first.

Is anybody else about?

Apart from Mrs Renter, I don't think so.

- What do you want me to do? - I'll show you to the main gate.

When you get outside,

walk into the village and catch the next train

back to town, right? - OK.

Oh, there you are! I thought we'd have some coffee.

DOORBELL RINGS

- Shall I go? - Er, no, I will.

It should be them. You take these into the lounge.

Right.

This is our chance. Come on. - Not this way, Mrs Gale!

Sorry, Daphne. You won't be able to leave just yet.

- Well, why not? - Got something

to discuss with Mrs Gale. We're on to your friend, Steed.

You haven't been fooling anybody since that phone call.

You're right, Mrs Renter. She was trying to sneak Daphne out.

That's the woman who came for the donation.

Oh, dear.

Paula, what's happened to my father?

He's dead.

I'm afraid he died of a heart attack, dear.

Well, why didn't you tell me before?

It had to be hushed up, dear, to save death duties.

It's all for your own good. - All right, all right!

Paula, take Daphne back to town in the car.

I'm gonna wait to meet this man, Steed.

MRS RENTER: Oh! Oh!

Back off!

GUNSHOT FIRES

Over there, Mrs Gale. Cover her, Green.

All right, Paula.

Get back, Daphne.

Well, what were you gonna do with her?

Take her back to London in the car.

- Oh, well, we'll all go together. - What about me?

I'll let you worry about that for a while.

Daphne, take your step-mother to the car and Mrs Renter.

I have some business to discuss with Mrs Gale.

I really don't understand.

Now, Mrs Gale, your colleague's been taken care of.

I just want you to tell me all you know about our organisation.

GUNSHOT FIRES

Keep an eye on your patient.

DISTANT GUNSHOTS Oh!

Daphne? You ever used a gun before?

- No. - Well, have a go now.

And shoot if he moves.

GUNSHOT FIRES

BULLET RICOCHETS

GUNSHOT FIRES

Well, there won't be much more of this for me.

After I've paid my poor husband's death duties,

I shall only have 250,000 left, give or take, 1,000.

Well, think of that clear conscience, Mrs Renter.

I suppose so.

Still, it won't buy Champagne.

No, thank you, Mr Steed. I must be off round the world.

Now, have I done everything?

I've said goodbye to Daphne, sweet girl. Do keep an eye on her.

I think her father's in of trouble with the police.

One thing, Mrs Renter. That's why I asked you to come here.

You know those papers of your husband that you found.

The letters you sent me? - Oh, yes, I forgot to post them.

I was kept so busy when he died.

In one of those envelopes, there were the plans I needed.

- Oh, I am glad. - They've gone to New York.

The inventor's royalties on that will all come to you,

will amount to around a million.

Dollars or pounds?

HE CHUCKLES Er, pounds.

Oh, that is nice news. It will be taxed, of course.

No way around that, don't suppose?

No. Oh, my taxi!

They charge by the minute, you know. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mrs Renter. HE CHUCKLES

Goodbye, Mrs Renter. Have a lovely trip.

Thank you.

I'm glad they didn't prefer charges against her.

It wouldn't be possible. She'd never have understood.

You know, she wanted to take Daphne on the trip.

But she wanted to stay with her father for the trial.

Yeah, that's a couple of weeks ago. I mean, ahead. I'm so sorry.

Ahead, yes.

I understand he's opening Adelphi Park to the public.

Smart move.

Yeah.

We might, er, have a little drive down there, eh?

They were very big, weren't they?

- What? - Around that fountain thing.

They were very big girls.

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