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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:12,270 Hey, how's it going, judge? 2 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,340 What about that Jets game on Sunday, huh? 3 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,340 Did you see it? 4 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,410 Now, that is what I call 5 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,410 one heck of a game. 6 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,810 You look a little bit thinner. 7 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,810 You been working out? 8 00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:29,120 I guess you noticed, huh? 9 00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:29,120 The elevator's busted. 10 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:34,220 It was working perfectly one minute. 11 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:34,220 I turn around, bang, it's dead. 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,460 Everybody started using 13 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,460 the freight elevator. 14 00:00:36,630 --> 00:00:40,690 I mean, what are people supposed to do, 15 00:00:36,630 --> 00:00:40,690 walk up 18 flights of stairs? 16 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,370 I did it. I got them. 17 00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:55,520 I got them, I got them, I got them! 18 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,550 I got them, I got them, I got them. 19 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,750 Guess whose concert I got tickets to 20 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,750 Saturday night. 21 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,420 Oh, boy, charades. 22 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,820 How many syllables? 23 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,490 Eddie Devon. 24 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,090 You're not very good at this. 25 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,470 Hi, guys. 26 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,910 You will never guess what I just did. 27 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:22,980 How did you get up here? 28 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:26,240 Took the freight elevator 29 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:26,240 just like everybody else. 30 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,050 I heard some jerk 31 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,050 actually walked up all 18 flights. 32 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,090 Your Honor, look. 33 00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,920 Miss Sullivan, look. 34 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,430 - You too? 35 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,430 - Uh-huh. 36 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:47,330 Two tickets to the grand opening 37 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:47,330 of the petting zoo in Central Park. 38 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,570 You camped out all night for those, 39 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,570 didn't you? 40 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,230 Your Honor, 41 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,230 these are Eddie Devon tickets. 42 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,040 - Wow! 43 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,040 - Yeah. 44 00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:59,580 Who's Eddie Devon? 45 00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,950 He's a rock 'n' roll star, sir. 46 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,380 Oh, I don't keep up with that, Mac. 47 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,380 You know that. 48 00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:07,050 Flo and I, 49 00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:07,050 we're into the old-timers, right, Flo? 50 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:09,120 Sinatra, Tormé, right? 51 00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:12,920 Eddie has brown hair, green eyes, 52 00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:12,920 and 17 gold singles. 53 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,530 His last LP went platinum in a week... 54 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:19,260 ...and he just kicked off 55 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:19,260 a 28-city concert tour. 56 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,130 I would've had the best view of him 57 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,130 at Woodstock... 58 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:26,000 ...but they made me climb down 59 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:26,000 from the light tower. 60 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,970 Why? 61 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,140 Some nonsense about wearing clothes. 62 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:45,120 - What the hell was that? 63 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:45,120 - I don't know. 64 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,320 But whatever it was, I hope nobody 65 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:49,320 was in the hall when it went through. 66 00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:39,040 Now, wait. That's private stuff. 67 00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:39,040 Get over there. 68 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:47,780 Oh, my God. 69 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,020 People, people, people. 70 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:01,500 If that is what you indeed are. 71 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,700 Sit down! 72 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:08,900 Counsels. 73 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,450 Will someone please tell me 74 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,450 what the hell is going on around here? 75 00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:16,780 Yes, Your Honor. There was a last-minute 76 00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:16,780 cancellation of the Eddie Devon concert. 77 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:21,120 His fans started chanting, 78 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:21,120 "Up with famine." 79 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,060 Well, that is extreme behavior, 80 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:28,060 but in light of the announced cancellation-- 81 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:31,100 That was before 82 00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:31,100 the announced cancellation. 83 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,000 And then after, 84 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,000 I suppose things got a little out of hand? 85 00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:39,160 Luckily, the ritual human sacrifice 86 00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:39,160 was nipped in the bud. 87 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:42,710 All right. Right this way. 88 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:42,710 Right down the aisle here. Thank you. 89 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,870 Come right this way. Thank you. Good. 90 00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:50,450 Sir, Eddie Devon's here. 91 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,110 He's here? 92 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,690 Oh, my God! I don't believe it! 93 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,690 This is unreal! 94 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:03,660 I mean, what an interesting development. 95 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:10,470 Uh, Mr. Devon was assaulted by a promoter 96 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:10,470 after he froze on-stage. 97 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,070 Here's the arrest report. 98 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,240 Bull, why are you wearing that thing? 99 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:19,480 Oh, uh, some fans found out 100 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:19,480 I was escorting Mr. Devon... 101 00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,980 ...and I wanted to throw them 102 00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,980 off our trail. 103 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,090 I figured a disguise would help. 104 00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:30,220 You recognized me right away, 105 00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:30,220 didn't you? 106 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:41,200 What do you expect 107 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:41,200 from a man who keeps thumbtacks as pets? 108 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:48,130 Excuse me. Uh, can somebody 109 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:48,130 tell me where Mr. Devon is? 110 00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:50,470 Yes. I can answer that. 111 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,840 - You are...? 112 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,840 - Hi. Dr. Charles Melnick. 113 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,570 I'm Eddie's psychiatrist 114 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,570 and personal spokesman. 115 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:58,240 - Where is he? 116 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:58,240 - He's here. He's in this room. 117 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,450 - Can I see him? 118 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,450 - He has no comment. 119 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:04,680 - A statement will be issued on this incident. 120 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:04,680 - I would just like-- 121 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:07,060 It's my belief that Eddie froze on-stage... 122 00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:10,930 ...as a result of his latent performance 123 00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:10,930 anxiety, which has been heightened... 124 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:14,130 ...by his growing concern 125 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:14,130 over the plight of the whales. 126 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,140 - Your Honor. 127 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,140 - Yes, Miss Sullivan? 128 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:21,500 He's under my table. 129 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,010 - What is he, nuts? 130 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,010 - Of course not. 131 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:30,310 But a personal appearance in this courtroom 132 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:30,310 is simply out of the question. 133 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,050 Well, fine. Then he can make 134 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,050 a personal appearance in my office. 135 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,990 Fifteen-minute recess. 136 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:40,150 I hope that you're capable of treating him 137 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:40,150 with the kind of respect and sensitivity... 138 00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:41,920 ...that this calls for. 139 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,660 Here, boy. Here, Eddie. 140 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,660 Come on, boy. Here, boy. 141 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,830 - Good. Good. 142 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,830 - I'll put some newspaper down on my rug. 143 00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,700 Hi. 144 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,830 - I'm Willy. 145 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:55,830 - I'm Wally. 146 00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:58,000 I'm woozy. 147 00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,850 We're looking for Eddie Devon. 148 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,210 - We'd do anything-- 149 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,210 - Anything. 150 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,720 --to get close to him. 151 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,060 What do you do? 152 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:10,450 Oh, I'm an assistant district... 153 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,990 ...sales rep for Eddie's record company. 154 00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,090 Ooh. 155 00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,600 Once more. 156 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:20,790 Ooh. 157 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:26,530 Forget about the lottery. 158 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:26,530 Give me this one. 159 00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:34,280 No, captain, no. I would not classify this 160 00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:34,280 as a possible crowd-control problem, no. 161 00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:38,080 I would call a thousand screaming fans 162 00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:38,080 burning me in effigy... 163 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,810 ...an existing crowd-control problem. 164 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:43,250 Yes, so please do what you can. Mm-hm. 165 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,060 Hold on. 166 00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:49,820 - Come on in. 167 00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:49,820 - Go on. Go on. Go on in, Eddie. 168 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:55,030 Eddie, nobody's gonna hurt you. 169 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:55,030 That's right. Now sit. 170 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,810 Good boy. Ha, ha. 171 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,610 Hi, Eddie. 172 00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:05,310 - Hi. 173 00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:05,310 - Doc, I'd like to see Eddie alone... 174 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,850 - ...for a couple of minutes. 175 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,850 - Absolutely not. 176 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,180 Eddie's used to my constant presence 177 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,180 as a support mechanism. 178 00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,350 - You did say he was all right. 179 00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,350 - Absolutely. 180 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,850 - Fine. Get out. 181 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,850 - Judge. 182 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,690 Do you understand the phrase 183 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,690 "separation anxiety"? 184 00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:22,730 Yeah. Do you understand the phrase 185 00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:22,730 "contempt of court"? 186 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,390 Relax, Eddie. It'll be fun. 187 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,170 Don't mention the word "womb." 188 00:08:31,870 --> 00:08:34,570 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 189 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:37,340 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 190 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:41,110 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.... 191 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:46,590 - It's been a rough tour, eh, Eddie? 192 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:46,590 - They ripped my hair out in Philadelphia. 193 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,990 Oh, they do that to everybody. 194 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,960 And in Cleveland, 195 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,960 they sold pieces of my shirt. 196 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,120 Yeah, I've heard about 197 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,120 rock fans doing that. 198 00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:57,030 I was still wearing it. 199 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,230 How long you been on tour, Eddie? 200 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,200 Oh.... 201 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:05,500 - Few nights. 202 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:05,500 - Quick, what year is it? 203 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,430 '80-something. 204 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:14,300 It's '85. Reagan is president. 205 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,790 The actor? 206 00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:22,660 It's a long story. 207 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,460 So that's it? 208 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,460 You're only interested in musicians? 209 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:32,230 - That and music. 210 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:32,230 - We love music. 211 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,590 We've got 212 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,590 some of the best speakers in town. 213 00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:42,400 A really great pair. 214 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,740 Mm.... 215 00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:47,280 Stereo. 216 00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:50,280 Yeah, well, mono's for squares. 217 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,220 Hey, guys. 218 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:55,450 - Where is he? 219 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:55,450 Who, Eddie? Oh, I sent him out. 220 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,920 - You wha--? You sent him out? 221 00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,920 - Alone? 222 00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:00,220 Sure. Sent him to the zoo. 223 00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:00,220 What's the big deal? 224 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,090 The big deal? He's got 225 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,090 the survival instincts of a cabbage! 226 00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:05,230 That's what's the big deal. 227 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,300 Aren't we exaggerating a little bit, doc? 228 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:10,960 Sir, don't you ever read 229 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:10,960 Tiger Beat magazine? 230 00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:14,770 No, I let my subscription lapse. 231 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:19,510 Eddie Devon hasn't been out in public 232 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:19,510 alone in six years. 233 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:28,580 Then you're saying I sent a defenseless, 234 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:28,580 trusting human being into Central Park... 235 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,590 ...at night, alone? 236 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,090 Does the word "oops" come to mind? 237 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,830 Fifty-dollar fine and time served. 238 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,830 Flo. Bull. 239 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:46,870 - How many more have we got, Mac? 240 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:46,870 - Minus the last four, 3000. 241 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,970 Recess. 242 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,440 It's been over four hours, Judge Stone. 243 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,380 I've sent out private detectives. 244 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,380 No trace of him. 245 00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,680 Oh, I'm sure he'll show up 246 00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,680 somewhere, eventually. 247 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:04,620 - Thank you, Miss Sullivan. 248 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:04,620 - In a lake. In a riverbed. 249 00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,060 - Thank you, Miss Sullivan. 250 00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,060 - She's right. 251 00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,790 I know for a fact 252 00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,790 that something unspeakably horrible... 253 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,830 ...has already happened to him. 254 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,500 Maybe it's the same thing that happened 255 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,500 to his bass player at that party. 256 00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:19,770 - What happened? 257 00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:19,770 - He choked on his tongue. 258 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:25,540 He choked on his own tongue? 259 00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:28,410 Now, wait a minute. That's right. 260 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:32,920 They never were able to verify 261 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:32,920 whose tongue it was. 262 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,720 I feel great. 263 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:43,220 Why, look who's here. 264 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,230 Eddie. You're okay. 265 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,890 - I feel great. 266 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,890 - Hey, uh-- Where were you? 267 00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:54,010 - The zoo. I touched a goat. 268 00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:54,010 - That's how I got started. 269 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,510 You should've seen it, Dr. Melnick. 270 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:01,510 People didn't even recognize me. 271 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:05,620 One guy even came up to me 272 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:05,620 and said, "Watch it, scum face." Ha, ha. 273 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,880 Oh, how beautiful. 274 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:10,720 Eddie, Eddie. 275 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:13,620 This is just the way it started 276 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:13,620 the last time. 277 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,860 - Just the way what started? 278 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,860 - He doubted me... 279 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:19,360 ...only for a few minutes, 280 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:19,360 in the spring of 1981. 281 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,970 But we got through that one together, 282 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,970 didn't we, Eddie? 283 00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:26,970 Wait a minute. Are you saying that 284 00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:26,970 his going to the petting zoo was wrong? 285 00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,510 - I'm confused. 286 00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,510 - So am I. 287 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,740 Come on, Eddie. We're going home. 288 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,740 We'll cancel the tour. We'll-- 289 00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,410 We'll go sit in the sand. 290 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:36,350 If what I did was wrong... 291 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,680 ...if how I felt was wrong, 292 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,680 then what's the point? 293 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,150 - We'll talk about this outside. 294 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,150 - Don't touch me. 295 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,990 - Eddie. 296 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,990 - Don't talk to me. 297 00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,160 Nobody talk to me. 298 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,430 - Thank you. 299 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,430 - Doctor. 300 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,230 That man is obviously exhausted. 301 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,230 He just needs some time to himself. 302 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,170 Are you crazy? 303 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,170 The man is obviously crumbling. 304 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:00,930 He's on the verge of regressing... 305 00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,870 ...into a dangerously unstable phase 306 00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:03,870 of his early childhood. 307 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,310 Doctor, you're the one 308 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,310 who's being childish. 309 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,250 I am a licensed psychotherapist. 310 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,250 I am never childish. 311 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,620 That Devon guy's ready 312 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,620 to throw himself down the elevator shaft. 313 00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,310 Na-na-na na-na 314 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,330 Everybody just keep back. 315 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,760 I'm not fooling around here. 316 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,200 - Do what he says, people. 317 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,200 Shh, shh.... 318 00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:32,600 Eddie. Eddie. Hey. 319 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:37,610 Let's just take 320 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:37,610 a few deep breaths here, okay? 321 00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:47,380 Well? 322 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,990 I feel much better. Thanks. 323 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,720 - Doc. 324 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,720 - Eddie. 325 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,960 You're a very sick man. 326 00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:59,730 Doc, I just took a walk. I went out. 327 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,630 I talked to a bag lady. 328 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,640 I felt as free as I've ever felt 329 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,640 in my entire life... 330 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,400 ...and you're telling me I'm sick? 331 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,010 Yes. 332 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,010 - Nice meeting you all. 333 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,010 Eddie. 334 00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:15,210 Suicide is crazy. 335 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:24,520 You've done this before, haven't you? 336 00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,650 Eddie, she's right. This is no answer. 337 00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,630 I know. 338 00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:33,060 I don't wanna jump. 339 00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:36,760 Somebody, please, 340 00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:36,760 tell me what to do here. 341 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,340 If you could just make this out 342 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,340 to June and Butch. 343 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,240 Grandma and Grandpa. They love him. 344 00:14:48,580 --> 00:14:52,080 Look, now, for your information... 345 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,150 ...I take this subject very seriously. 346 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,520 All I'm wondering 347 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,520 is if we could get together... 348 00:14:56,690 --> 00:15:00,690 ...and discuss the various relationships 349 00:14:56,690 --> 00:15:00,690 you've had with your musical idols. 350 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,260 I happen to be working toward 351 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,260 my Ph.D. in sociology... 352 00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:08,630 ...and the subject of early tribal chants... 353 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,600 ...and rhythms... 354 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:16,800 ...and their symbiotic relationships 355 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:16,800 to both the male and female libidos... 356 00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:19,410 ...is directly related to my thesis. 357 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:22,350 Sounds great. 358 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,490 Fine. Say the Astro Motel 359 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,490 around midnight? 360 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:28,050 - Oh, we can't. 361 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:28,050 - Not tonight. 362 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,020 We've already got a date. 363 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,850 With him. 364 00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:43,600 Hi-ya. 365 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,540 Now, what has he got that I don't have? 366 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:50,010 He's got one of those. 367 00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,210 See you at midnight. 368 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,480 Sure thing, kids. 369 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,160 Bye. 370 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,190 Edward. 371 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,510 I am very cross with you. 372 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,070 Tough tepees. 373 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,350 Oh, boy. Mister Rogers gets obscene. 374 00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:30,380 What did you say to me? 375 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:36,650 - Nothing, doc. I'm sorry. 376 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:36,650 - Let's go home, Eddie, now. 377 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,590 - All right. 378 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,590 - That's it? You're giving in just like that? 379 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,530 - You're gonna do what he wants? 380 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,530 - Christine, he saved the man's life. 381 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,870 Yeah, well, 382 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,870 why don't I just shut up, then? 383 00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:54,070 Congratulations, doc. 384 00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:54,070 You saved the man's life. 385 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,700 - Of course, what kind of life is it, Eddie? 386 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,700 - Well, it.... 387 00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,100 Well, tell him. 388 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,840 He needs structure in his life. 389 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,840 I provide that. 390 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,580 - For a hefty fee. 391 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,580 - Hey. 392 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:07,380 You can't get good psychological therapy 393 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:07,380 at Kmart, fella. 394 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,190 Eddie, isn't there anything you miss? 395 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,290 Isn't there something you wanted to do, 396 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,290 and he wouldn't let you? 397 00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:15,050 Well, I... 398 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,360 ...would've liked to have gone 399 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,360 to my high school reunion. 400 00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:21,970 Do you know what kind of diseases 401 00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:21,970 there are in a gymnasium? 402 00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,440 Several were named after me. 403 00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,340 I would've liked to have gone 404 00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:30,340 to my father's funeral. 405 00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,570 You weren't allowed 406 00:17:30,510 --> 00:17:33,570 to go to your father's funeral? 407 00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,750 Do you know how depressing 408 00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:38,750 those things are? 409 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,790 Eddie, I'm not much of a psychologist... 410 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,090 ...but I'd bet that you'd have a better shot 411 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,090 with Doc Severinsen than with this clown. 412 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:48,750 Listen, judge, 413 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:48,750 you're treading on very thin ice here. 414 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,260 Harry, I know you're trying to help, 415 00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,260 but you're wrong about Dr. Melnick. 416 00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:54,530 He's not with me just for the money. 417 00:17:56,140 --> 00:17:58,070 And I'll prove it. 418 00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:00,210 - How? 419 00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:00,210 - Uh-- 420 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,900 How? 421 00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:04,870 I'll give away everything I own. 422 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,870 I better go lock up Dan. 423 00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:11,110 - No, Eddie, that wasn't-- 424 00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:11,110 - Come on, let's go. 425 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,020 - No, Eddie. What I meant was-- 426 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,020 - Eddie. 427 00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:16,820 Creating monsters is your hobby, isn't it? 428 00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,660 Hey, you. You like jewelry? 429 00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:27,770 Here. This one's got a 2-karat emerald. 430 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,340 I'd hold out for 60 grand. 431 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:34,030 Okay, everybody, whoever wants it, 432 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:34,030 cash, stocks, bonds... 433 00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:37,370 ...I'll be in the courtroom giving it away. 434 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,460 This makes up for the twins. 435 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,860 Okay. I got a shopping center. 436 00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:54,360 Me. Me. 437 00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:55,690 It's in Milwaukee. 438 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,470 Eddie, come on. 439 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,970 Aren't we tired of playing 440 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,970 this silly little game? 441 00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:08,970 Monopoly is a game. 442 00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:08,970 He's giving away the whole enchilada. 443 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,970 Oh, heh. 444 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:19,780 Mr. Fielding, 445 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:19,780 I've got something for you. 446 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,680 This is a 1959 Gibson Les Paul Special 447 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,680 with twin pickups. 448 00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,760 There are only 12 of these 449 00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:28,760 that were made. 450 00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:32,990 It was a gift to me on my 16th birthday 451 00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:32,990 from my father. 452 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:39,370 His only wish in life was to see his son 453 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:39,370 succeed at his first love: music. 454 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,710 I want you to have this. 455 00:19:48,950 --> 00:19:52,010 I'm.... I don't know what to say. 456 00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:54,520 I'm honored. 457 00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:57,820 I'll always be grateful. Thank you. 458 00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,090 Have this appraised. 459 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,360 This is just getting ridiculous. 460 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,360 He just wants my attention. 461 00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:13,970 Okay, I got a Caribbean island. 462 00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,940 That's mine! 463 00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:17,980 You promised. 464 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,880 They were right. 465 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,350 You lied to me. 466 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,750 You've been lying to me for 10 years. 467 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,380 It doesn't matter anymore. You figured 468 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,380 him out, and that's what counts. 469 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,290 He said he cared about me. 470 00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:37,560 He said that, one day, I'd be all right. 471 00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:40,100 Well, I'm not all right, doc. 472 00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:43,030 - And I'm gonna make you pay for it. 473 00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:43,030 - Eddie, wait. 474 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,800 Oh, great! Bad publicity. 475 00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:48,430 You know they've been talking series 476 00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:48,430 with me and Joyce Brothers? 477 00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:54,140 Eddie, please don't do it! 478 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,370 I have to, Harry. 479 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,480 Well, thanks for everything, Dr. Melnick. 480 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,630 Eddie, sweetheart, 481 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,630 you've got so much to live for. 482 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:07,890 - But I gave it all away. 483 00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:07,890 - Oh, yeah, right. 484 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:12,330 So you live with this, you scum. 485 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,870 Surprise. 486 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,980 I'm standing on top of the elevator. 487 00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:32,850 I want you dead. 488 00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:34,710 But why? 489 00:21:34,890 --> 00:21:37,480 You said I have so much to live for. 490 00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:39,960 Well, what do you think, guys? 491 00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:39,960 My first joke. 492 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,690 Ha, ha. 493 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,690 - It killed me. 494 00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:46,400 Thanks for everything, guys. 495 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:51,560 Now if you'll excuse me, 496 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:51,560 I have a few zoos to check out. 497 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,440 Oh, by the way, Dr. Melnick... 498 00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:58,140 ...I kept all the Swiss bank accounts. 499 00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,610 I mean, I may be stupid... 500 00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:03,310 ...but I'm not crazy. 501 00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:16,690 Hi, Dan. 502 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,360 Well, if it isn't Count Basie. 503 00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,240 How'd you enjoy your evening 504 00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,240 with the twins? 505 00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:27,670 I wrote a poem about it. 506 00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:35,340 This is volume one. 507 00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,860 "'The Azzari Sisters: 508 00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,860 An Adventure in Verse.' 509 00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,430 By Bull Shannon." 510 00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:56,490 Double your pleasure 511 00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:56,490 Double your fun 512 00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:01,440 I used to have yearnings 513 00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:01,440 And now I got none 514 00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:08,480 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 515 00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:10,980 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 516 00:23:11,150 --> 00:23:13,350 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 517 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,850 - Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 518 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,850 - Mel, Mel, Mel. 519 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,020 Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. 520 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,020 - Mel, Mel, Mel. 31430

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