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1
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,662
Good morning.
2
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,789
To what do I owe the pleasure
of a greeting at the door?
3
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,082
Well, I just wanted
to be the first one
4
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,792
to congratulate
you on receiving
5
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,461
the Courage in Comedy Award.
6
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,879
Oh.
7
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,005
I haven't heard of that one,
but that's nice.
8
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:48,048
There'll be an event where
9
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,507
you'll be presented the award,
10
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,676
which is great for,
you know, visibility.
11
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,179
Network is sponsoring it,
so we'll all be there.
12
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:55,722
Oh, I see.
13
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,932
So the network is buying
publicity for the show
14
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,392
is what you're actually saying?
15
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,685
A shot in the arm
couldn't hurt.
16
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,145
Oh, God.
17
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,646
Please give me some news
I can feel good about.
18
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,857
Unfortunately,
that was the good news.
19
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,233
The bad news is Cher is
20
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,693
dropping out as
a guest tomorrow.
21
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,570
What? Why?
22
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:11,738
She, quote,
23
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,656
"Doesn't want to do it."
24
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,867
- God.
- Don't worry.
25
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,202
Talent is scrambling.
26
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,079
I will check in
with them right now.
27
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,289
Fucking Cher.
28
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:26,669
What's going on?
29
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,962
Oh.
30
00:01:28,045 --> 00:01:29,547
Um, I decided
we should celebrate
31
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,549
all this month's birthdays
in the office at once.
32
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,176
Some people
don't like attention
33
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,095
and I don't want to spring
non-consensual cupcakes
34
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,098
on anyone because, obviously,
that can trigger people.
35
00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:41,267
Oh, oh!
36
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,561
Come on.
37
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,562
Don't do it again.
38
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,697
This is an office,
not a bowling alley.
39
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,074
I'm just trying
to be a good boss.
40
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,450
You don't have
to do all this.
41
00:01:57,533 --> 00:01:58,910
It's enough you pay
for their lunches.
42
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,161
I don't pay for them.
43
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,788
I subsidize
the writers' lunches
44
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,207
because the studio
caps orders at $9,
45
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,085
which in your world is the
equivalent of one Pellegrino.
46
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,794
When are you going to learn
you can't be their friend?
47
00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:09,963
Why, because I'm their boss?
48
00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:11,464
No, because you're annoying.
49
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,760
Oh.
50
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,387
I talked to talent.
51
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,722
The new DC show "Wolf Girl"
got pushed up,
52
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,267
so we were able to book
the lead, Ruby Rojas.
53
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,227
Oh.
54
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,603
Ruby Rojas?
55
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,855
That's what I said, yeah.
56
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,773
Great job, Rob.
57
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,775
Great get. Great get.
58
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,110
Great get.
59
00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:33,695
A-am I missing something?
60
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,488
Yes.
Ruby and I dated.
61
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,615
I almost married her,
in my opinion.
62
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,826
You're going to have to sign
a conflict of interest form.
63
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:45,582
Hello.
64
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,041
- Hi.
- Yeah.
65
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,376
Just checking to see
if you need anything else
66
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,587
from me before I leave
for Wyoming.
67
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,714
I finally found a supplier
that will provide
68
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,549
the right amount of bear urine
that we need
69
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,009
to keep away the coyotes.
70
00:02:56,091 --> 00:02:59,846
It's a proprietary blend
of black and grizzly.
71
00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:01,264
Oh, wonderful.
72
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,724
Yeah.
I'm really excited about it.
73
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,559
And where are we
on the candle rotation?
74
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:07,645
Cardamom, cardamom,
eucalyptus, sandalwood,
75
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,689
cardamom,
and then I'm back on Monday.
76
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,149
Oh, you're gone that long?
77
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,734
Well, the TSA will not
give me the exception
78
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,611
to fly with the amount
of bear piss that we need,
79
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,905
so I'm renting a U-Haul
and driving.
80
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:17,906
Well, have a good trip.
81
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,324
Thank you.
See ya.
82
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,454
- Hey!
- There you are.
83
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:25,997
Yeah, so sorry
about the phone tag.
84
00:03:26,079 --> 00:03:27,707
Service is bad in here.
85
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,709
Just finishing up a quick set.
86
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,171
Should you be doing that?
87
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,297
I have to.
88
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,590
Fricking ten days overdue
89
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,133
and this is supposed
to trigger labor.
90
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,511
If not, though,
we induce on Friday.
91
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,597
Which is kind of why
I wanted to talk.
92
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,474
I really feel like I need
somebody here
93
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,059
that I trust, you know?
94
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,102
Oh, honey,
I would love to come,
95
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,978
but it really would be risky
96
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,065
for me to bring in
a guest host this early.
97
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,150
Oh, no, not you.
Josefina.
98
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,652
Oh.
99
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,403
Well, I know how
busy the show is.
100
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,905
You know, and you
can meet him any time.
101
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,281
Plus, I really don't need
102
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,866
you seeing what
I'm eating these days.
103
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,453
Well, Josefina would be happy
to, I'm sure.
104
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,621
She loves babies.
105
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:08,957
Thank God.
106
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,583
One word of advice.
107
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,918
Do not let the nurses
talk you into breastfeeding.
108
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,044
There's absolutely
nothing wrong
109
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:14,379
with giving them baby formula.
110
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,755
As long as it's from Europe.
111
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,298
No, I can't breastfeed.
112
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,425
I don't want
to take the rings out.
113
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,053
- Oh!
- Did--
114
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,263
did your water just break?
115
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,599
Huh?
116
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:27,976
No, I think that's just piss.
117
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:28,977
Oh.
118
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:46,703
Excuse me!
Hi.
119
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,371
Do you have time
for a quick makeover?
120
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,956
Sorry, we're
not even open yet.
121
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,624
Please.
122
00:04:51,707 --> 00:04:54,085
I'm not just any customer,
I'm an Americana resident.
123
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,253
OK?
124
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:56,629
I'm seeing my ex today
125
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,173
and she's, like, a 9.5
without makeup.
126
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,508
Damn.
127
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,051
OK, well, let's do it.
128
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,344
You are getting
a beauty mark, though.
129
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,931
And I get to decide where
and how big.
130
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,141
All right.
131
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,934
Come on.
It'll be great.
132
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:15,440
Hello, hello.
133
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,441
Hey.
134
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,942
Where's my hug?
135
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,110
How are you?
136
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,778
Oh, I'm chilling.
137
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:21,946
- How are you?
- Good.
138
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,614
You look great.
139
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,075
Um, I don't think
I remember that beauty mark.
140
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,577
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know me.
141
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,745
Woman of mystery.
142
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:29,829
Oh, shit!
143
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,039
- Oh, my God! Are you OK?
- I'm good, yeah.
144
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,166
That's chill.
This happens all the time.
145
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:34,334
- You sure?
- No worries.
146
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,710
- OK.
- Listen, um...
147
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,879
I know you and Deborah
148
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,381
don't have great feelings.
149
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,716
Probably mutually.
150
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,259
Your way or your direction,
more so,
151
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,635
but, um,
152
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,262
I just wanted to say I hope--
153
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:50,516
hope you won't let our stuff
affect the interview.
154
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,894
Yeah, um, I'm a professional.
155
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:53,978
I-I think I got it.
156
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,646
Right, right.
157
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,689
Cool.
158
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,566
By the way, congrats.
159
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,944
Looks like it was all worth it
after all.
160
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,071
Yeah.
161
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,450
You know, um,
I ran into Fabriziana.
162
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,202
She said you were
seeing someone.
163
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,079
I'm really happy for you,
by the way.
164
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:14,040
Thank you.
Yes, um, I am.
165
00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,584
I'm sorry if it was weird
hearing it from her.
166
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:17,794
No, no.
167
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,462
And I'm sorry if it's weird
168
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,672
for you to hear that
I'm also seeing someone.
169
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,673
Great.
170
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:23,674
As well as another person.
171
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:24,967
- Two people.
- Oh.
172
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,844
I have a boyfriend
and a girlfriend.
173
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,304
Love.
174
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,557
Being supah bi.
175
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,060
Amazing.
176
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,103
Ch-ch-ch--
177
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,312
anyway, um, great to see you.
178
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,397
I should probably head--
179
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,399
head on down to, uh,
180
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,942
the trenches.
181
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,485
Because we're, uh--
182
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,778
we're doing a desk bit
tonight that I pitched.
183
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,071
It's super funny.
I got to go finalize it.
184
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,072
Can't wait to see it.
185
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,448
- Super funny.
- I bet.
186
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:48,574
Have fun out there.
187
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,702
Listen, hey...
188
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,496
razzle-dazzle 'em.
189
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,001
Hey, we really can't have these
falling off the wall, OK?
190
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,002
Thank you.
191
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,301
Hey.
192
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,803
Here are the jokes
for the apologies bit.
193
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,606
I like these three.
The rest we need to beat.
194
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:21,732
You only liked three?
195
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,152
Yes.
Where are the alts?
196
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,154
These are the alts.
There are 20 jokes here.
197
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,780
Well, then we need more.
198
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,615
We shoot in an hour.
199
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,159
Well, then you have half an
hour to write me better jokes.
200
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:37,915
OK!
201
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,459
All hands on deck.
202
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,002
We need more jokes
for the apologies desk bit.
203
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,712
I'll type fast.
Go!
204
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,505
- Uh, um--
- Uh--
205
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,300
Uh, Deborah apologizes
to the floor, um,
206
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:48,676
for always stepping on it
in high heels.
207
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,052
OK.
What else?
208
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,596
Deborah apologizes,
uh, to science,
209
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,514
because she could have
cured cancer or something
210
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,141
because she's so smart,
211
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,683
but that's not where
her heart was at in undergrad.
212
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,519
She, like, wanted to do stuff.
213
00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,937
- More fun stuff.
- OK. What else?
214
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,355
Deborah is sorry
to the grocery stores
215
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,899
that she doesn't
buy anything there.
216
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,192
Because she doesn't eat.
217
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,526
Because she's
really weird about food.
218
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,694
No, I get it.
It's just not funny.
219
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:07,904
What else?
220
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,157
Come on, come on.
221
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,742
Great.
222
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,145
Here.
Five pages of jokes.
223
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,731
Five pages?
224
00:08:43,813 --> 00:08:45,358
There's too many alts.
225
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:46,943
There was just not enough.
Now there's too many?
226
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,111
Well, I don't have time
to go through all of them.
227
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,363
Can you narrow it down?
228
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,864
Well,
I think they're all good.
229
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,033
Well, which ones
are the strongest?
230
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,910
Let me see.
231
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,453
Maybe--
232
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,580
You know, it's quite
literally your job
233
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:00,831
to pick the best ones.
234
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,166
I know.
I just don't know
235
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,292
what the woman who
likes wine o'clock
236
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,544
thinks are the best ones.
237
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,670
What is it exactly
you do here?
238
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,088
Just print jokes out?
239
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:09,090
You're a glorified
Kinko's employee now?
240
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,551
Well, actually,
there is no more Kinko's.
241
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,469
I mean, there's FedEx Kinko's,
which is pretty sad.
242
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,845
Oh, my God, Stacey!
243
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,392
OK, this one.
244
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:21,811
Does that put us
in an anti-Irish barrel?
245
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,104
Fuck.
246
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,772
Do people know that
Garfield was also
247
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,232
- the name of a president?
- OK, forget it, forget it.
248
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,567
We're--we're cutting the bit.
249
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,068
- No!
- Yes.
250
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,528
- We have to fill the minutes.
- I know, I know.
251
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:31,696
Just go tell Ruby
we're cutting the desk bit.
252
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:32,697
We'll need her for another act.
253
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:33,781
Come on!
254
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,491
No, no. We are done here.
255
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,830
Deborah, quick.
What's your lip combo?
256
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:44,959
Iconic.
257
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,002
Hey, you.
258
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,003
Do you have the time?
259
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,546
Yeah, it's midnight.
260
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,089
Are you going to
turn into a pumpkin?
261
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,592
You wish.
Try wolf!
262
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,343
Oh, no!
263
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,306
Whoa!
264
00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,849
Ferocious.
265
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,225
Reminds me of myself
266
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,727
when Saks won't
let me make a return.
267
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,564
But I want to know where you
got that fabulous jacket.
268
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,107
Oh, that one.
269
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,817
Um, yeah, that may have
disappeared from set.
270
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,777
Oh, naughty,
naughty Wolf Girl.
271
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,654
I have a bit of a problem,
Deborah.
272
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:14,989
I'm a bit of a klepto.
273
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,450
I took the jacket, the boots,
the ring.
274
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:18,701
- I think I--
- Oh.
275
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,369
And the ring
that you mentioned.
276
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,997
Uh, I hear you might have
a very funny story about that,
277
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,499
possibly concerning
an ex-girlfriend?
278
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:30,671
I'm surprised
you knew about that.
279
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,298
I mean...
280
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:33,799
it is a funny story.
281
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,468
OK.
Who wants to hear it?
282
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,596
OK.
283
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,139
So before we were shooting
"Wolf Girl,"
284
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,390
I was living in LA.
285
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,684
I was prepping, training 24/7,
286
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,394
and they sent me home
with the ring
287
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,021
to practice wielding the flail.
288
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,272
Oh, yeah.
289
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,690
Wielding the flail
is a lost art.
290
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,609
Truly.
291
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,612
Anyway, my girlfriend
at the time, she was home,
292
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,864
and, um, she found the ring.
293
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,700
And you can guess
what she assumed.
294
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,951
Uh-oh.
295
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,037
Here come the brides.
296
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,082
Actually, she thought
she'd beat me to the punch
297
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,752
and she proposed to me first
with Wolf Girl's ring.
298
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,003
Oh, how embarrassing.
Oh, God.
299
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,797
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, yeah.
300
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,049
Um, she got down on one knee.
301
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,467
- No.
- Uh-huh.
302
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,427
It was very awkward.
303
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,180
Oh, and with a
bezel marquise cut, too.
304
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,473
No wonder she's an ex.
305
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,233
Up next, Dance Mom!
306
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,327
Ava.
I'm so sorry.
307
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,745
She totally
caught me off guard.
308
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,955
- I would have--
- No, it was great.
309
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,915
It was great TV.
310
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:48,915
I'm sorry.
311
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,919
It was hilarious.
312
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,003
It's hilarious.
313
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,057
Hi, Deborah.
DJ's doing fine.
314
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,600
She goes in at 11:00 a.m.
tomorrow.
315
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,060
We'll call you after.
316
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,104
And don't forget
to lock the doggy door
317
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,022
at night because
of the coyotes.
318
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,899
OK, bye-bye.
319
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,111
She thinks I don't know
how to take care of you.
320
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:19,655
But we're going to be just fine
on our own, aren't we?
321
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,323
Yeah.
322
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,533
Yeah.
323
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,620
Oh, Cara.
Oh, did you just fart?
324
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,913
Oh, honey.
325
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,290
Ah, jeez.
326
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,048
Jesus.
327
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,844
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
328
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,262
Did not mean to scare you.
329
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,388
It's OK.
330
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,431
We just...
331
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,891
weren't expecting you tonight.
332
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:49,518
No, I know, I'm sorry.
I just--I had a hard day.
333
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,062
I was hoping we could hang.
334
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,815
I'm sorry, babe.
335
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,358
Uh, whoa.
336
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,902
Uh--
what are you--
337
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,236
Sorry.
338
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,198
I was just trying
to kiss you, I guess.
339
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:08,370
I mean, do you want to talk
about what happened today?
340
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,705
Honestly, no.
341
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,291
I was hoping we could,
like, hook up.
342
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:14,919
Oh.
343
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,881
What?
344
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,133
Um...
345
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,011
Maybe you better take a seat.
346
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,095
OK.
347
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,935
What's up?
348
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:36,649
It kind of feels like this
is mostly about sex for you.
349
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,484
Mm...
350
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,069
yeah.
351
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,321
Is that crazy?
352
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,323
Uh, Em and I were talking
353
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,283
and it seems like
you don't want to
354
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,328
get to know us
past a certain level.
355
00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:52,498
And that you don't want us
to get to know you.
356
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,165
What do you mean?
357
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,001
You guys know me.
358
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,670
Ava Daniels.
359
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:58,879
Waltham's own.
360
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,172
Recently became allergic
to shrimp.
361
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,799
We were kind of
looking for someone
362
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:05,135
who would connect with us
emotionally as well.
363
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,179
Yeah.
We're not just sex freaks.
364
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,265
We did meet at a sex shop.
365
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,684
Yeah, but you're not
vulnerable with us.
366
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,936
And we were hoping that that
would eventually change,
367
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,771
but it hasn't.
368
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,066
And I don't want you to think
we're diagnosing you, but...
369
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:21,485
kind of seems like you're not
over your last relationship.
370
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,533
What do you mean?
371
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,618
Well, I...
372
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,036
think she really hurt you
373
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,456
and you're afraid of
getting hurt again.
374
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,545
You guys don't know
what you're talking about.
375
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,172
Oh, OK.
376
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:46,051
Um, maybe we should just...
377
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,762
pump the brakes,
hit pause on this.
378
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,933
OK, like, all three of us?
379
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:53,934
No.
380
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,811
We opened the circle to you,
381
00:14:55,895 --> 00:15:00,107
and now we are asking you
to leave the circle.
382
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,611
You guys want
to be monogamous now?
383
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,070
No, we're dumping you,
384
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,323
and you're making it
really hard.
385
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,872
Ava, wait.
386
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,169
Can we get our key back?
387
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,215
Yeah.
388
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:30,638
I tossed you both.
389
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:31,889
Can I have mine?
390
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:33,474
Sorry, those--
mine are on there.
391
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:35,225
Yeah.
392
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,359
I'm really proud of you
for that.
393
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,568
Good work.
394
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,736
You drew a boundary.
395
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,828
I'm so excited.
396
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,413
Yeah, OK.
So what is this?
397
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,957
Fritos is sponsoring
the night,
398
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,208
so you're going to pretend
to catch a bag of Fritos
399
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,377
from Mariska Hargitay.
400
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,378
OK.
401
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,462
OK, ready?
402
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,216
Thanks, Mariska.
403
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,885
Perfect.
Now throw it.
404
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,053
- Anywhere?
- Yeah, yeah.
405
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,179
Throw it that way.
406
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,514
Yeah.
407
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,057
Awesome.
408
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,100
And LL Cool J is going
to catch that from you.
409
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,226
OK.
410
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,686
Hey.
411
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,270
Next time, you want
to give me a heads up
412
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,981
before you humiliate me
on national television?
413
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,941
Well, if you'd had the jokes
ready for the desk bit,
414
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,694
I wouldn't have had
to extend Ruby's interview.
415
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,237
It's not my fault
your messy love life
416
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,322
is funnier than
the material you write.
417
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,074
Fuck you.
418
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,497
OK, and now we are going to
419
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,582
wish Dakota Fanning
a happy birthday.
420
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,793
Ready?
And go.
421
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,294
Happy birthday, Dakota.
422
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,713
- Fanning.
- Fanning.
423
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,590
"Happy birthday,
Dakota Fanning."
424
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,800
Please.
425
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,343
Happy birthday,
Dakota Fanning.
426
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,429
She is going to love that.
427
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,098
Hey.
428
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,725
So Fallon did
429
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,101
a "Freaky Friday" Supreme Court
sketch last night.
430
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,436
Oh, fuck, really?
431
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,979
- Mm-hmm.
- OK.
432
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,605
Uh, I'll work through lunch
with the writers.
433
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,772
We'll figure
something else out.
434
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,773
Thank you.
435
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,943
Uh, and the affiliate copy?
436
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,944
Sorry, I--I forgot.
437
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,821
I'll--I'll get it to you.
438
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,199
And I got your email
about an iPad giveaway?
439
00:17:14,282 --> 00:17:15,492
I don't want a free iPad.
440
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,492
I was hacked.
441
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,996
My mom wired them 2,300, so.
442
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,329
OK.
443
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,333
Sorry guys, we're going
to have to work through lunch.
444
00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:24,752
There's just too
much to do, and I--
445
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:28,047
Hi! Sorry I'm late.
446
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,381
Well, it's lunch.
447
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,966
That's not late,
that's missing the day.
448
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,719
I was at the orthodontist.
449
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,345
Tooth gem.
450
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,389
You were at the orthodontist
getting a tooth gem?
451
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,766
Yeah.
452
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,642
So it's not for
a medical reason, then?
453
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,062
Um, mental health.
454
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,313
Smiling without a tooth gem was
455
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,398
really affecting
my self-esteem.
456
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,484
OK, well, next time,
can you just let me know
457
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,069
if you're planning
on missing half the day?
458
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:51,236
I texted the chat.
459
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,237
- Who?
- What chat?
460
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,489
I didn't get it.
461
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,078
Oh, I get it.
462
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,579
You guys have a group text
without me?
463
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,622
- No.
- It's--
464
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,623
- No.
- No.
465
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:04,083
Guys, just--just tell her.
466
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,043
Directness is kindness.
467
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,961
OK.
468
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,546
Yes.
469
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,257
But it's just to, like,
talk about assignments
470
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,842
so we don't bore you
with questions.
471
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,177
Or memes.
472
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,180
Or, like,
what movie we're going to see.
473
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,224
OK.
474
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,726
I've been on staff before.
I know how it is.
475
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:23,977
I'm the boss, so.
476
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,067
Whoa, branzino?
477
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,236
Who's Mrs. Table?
478
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,987
Oh.
479
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:37,699
Well, sometimes we just
order extra food for the table.
480
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:40,536
We--we call it Mrs. Table.
481
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:45,415
You ordered a whole
bone-in branzino for the table?
482
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,000
Well,
sometimes it's branzino.
483
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,002
Sometimes it's fries.
484
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,880
Sometimes it's lobster rolls.
485
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,549
Lobster rolls?
486
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,633
Yeah.
487
00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:00,931
I have been
subsidizing lobster rolls?
488
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:02,808
For Mrs. Table?
489
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,810
A not-real person?
490
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:09,565
A not-real person
is getting $48 branzino?
491
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,607
$72.
492
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,442
This is so disrespectful!
493
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,570
I am working so hard!
494
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,906
I get here every morning
at 5:30 on the dot.
495
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,242
One time, I walked in
on the janitor jerking off
496
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,994
because he didn't think anyone
else was here,
497
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:23,662
and I didn't report it
498
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,748
because he probably
doesn't get paid a living wage!
499
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,000
And by the way,
500
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,543
branzino doesn't travel well.
501
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,628
You should never
order it to go!
502
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,924
I quit!
503
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:42,389
We shouldn't have
told her about the text chain.
504
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,106
No!
505
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,025
Slow down!
506
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,526
Slow down! No!
507
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,694
Oh, my God!
508
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,654
This bitch is crazy!
509
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,739
Damn!
510
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,995
I nominate Barry Keoghan to do
the Chicken Dance Challenge
511
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,622
to support arthritis.
512
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,916
Arthritis research.
We don't support arthritis.
513
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,542
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
514
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,586
Just flagging that
Ava's been gone since lunch,
515
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,837
and I have not been
able to reach her.
516
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,464
Did she have Chipotle?
517
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,341
That usually takes up
the next two to three hours.
518
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,509
Apparently she had
some kind of a meltdown.
519
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:20,969
She told the writers she quit,
520
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:22,095
and then according to security,
521
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,430
she drove through the gate.
522
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,973
Like, drove through it.
523
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:25,974
Oh, God.
524
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,726
Um, OK.
525
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,270
Um, well, so what do we do?
526
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,273
I mean,
we do the show without her.
527
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,816
Sure.
528
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,276
But, you know,
maybe we could delay the taping
529
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,694
by 30 minutes
or so in case she shows up.
530
00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,029
No, you've got
the award thing right after.
531
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,822
Oh, right.
532
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,032
- OK.
- Sorry.
533
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,033
I just wanted you to know.
534
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:44,743
Sure. Thanks.
535
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:47,704
OK, next up, we have the
Twist and Shout Challenge
536
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,248
to help infants with scoliosis.
537
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:50,332
Are you ready?
538
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,168
I'm sorry
to my personal assistants
539
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,003
numbers three through seven.
540
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,131
Just because you are gay does
not make you detail-oriented.
541
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,633
And I should have
had more grace.
542
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:11,311
And thank you to Al Gore
and GloRilla.
543
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,854
See you tomorrow night.
544
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,525
Whoo!
545
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:19,653
That was great.
546
00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:21,154
- We didn't need to push.
- Yeah.
547
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,531
I'm going to head
to the edit.
548
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,615
I'll see you at
the awards ceremony.
549
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,575
OK.
550
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,069
Hey, Deborah.
551
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,362
Your car is waiting outside.
552
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:03,822
Thanks. OK.
553
00:22:22,466 --> 00:22:24,384
You got to leave
that marriage, you know?
554
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,386
Oh, there she is.
555
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,055
The bravest woman in comedy.
556
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,556
Oh, please.
557
00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,099
Any woman who
goes on Bill Maher
558
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,351
is the bravest woman in comedy.
559
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:33,352
I hear you on that.
560
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:34,353
Give me a little love.
561
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:35,354
Hey, nice to see you.
562
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,396
Nice to see you.
563
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,023
Oh, God.
564
00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,566
Thank you for doing
this ridiculous network stunt.
565
00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:40,859
Hey, come on now.
566
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:41,943
Don't do that.
567
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,236
It's a tough town.
568
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,113
You got to celebrate
every little win.
569
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,990
It's a fake award, Ro.
570
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,742
Yes.
I have many of them at home.
571
00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:51,536
Remember, you were there
572
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:53,288
when I got that Crystal
Pepsi Award for...
573
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,207
Clarity in Comedy.
574
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,335
So tell me,
how's the show going?
575
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:02,130
You know, some days are good,
and you know, some aren't.
576
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,799
Yeah, I understand.
577
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:06,051
Some days you want
to pull your hair out.
578
00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,511
But other days,
579
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,179
you're sitting there
laughing your ass off
580
00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:11,390
with some of your favorite
people in the whole world.
581
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,308
You got to focus on that.
582
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,311
Because to tell you the truth,
that's what I miss the most.
583
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,649
So, you do ayahuasca?
584
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:21,733
What do you mean?
585
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,276
I mean how did
all this happen?
586
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,986
Oh, well, that was just,
you know,
587
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:28,407
hard work, timing,
and you know, a lot of luck.
588
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:30,492
No, you got better.
589
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,077
You don't just get better.
590
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,745
Comedy is like sports.
591
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:37,124
Nobody starts dunking
at 60 years old.
592
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:40,043
I guess
I just found my voice.
593
00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:41,461
You know, we all evolve.
594
00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:43,171
I mean, you've evolved.
595
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,090
Yeah, it only took me
five kids,
596
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:47,551
two nervous breakdowns,
and a lot of Ozempic.
597
00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:49,177
But yes, I've evolved.
598
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,346
And I'm glad I can be here
for your fake award.
599
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,641
- Now let's make it quick.
- Oh, God, please.
600
00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:56,810
By the way,
I can't stay for your speech.
601
00:23:56,893 --> 00:23:57,978
Don't be pissed.
602
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:02,232
Without further ado,
I'm honored to present
603
00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:03,984
the Courage in Comedy Award
604
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:06,319
to a woman who never
let fear stop her.
605
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,155
What choice did she have,
really?
606
00:24:08,238 --> 00:24:09,656
I mean, I've seen her house,
607
00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:11,032
and she has to pay
for that mortgage.
608
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,534
She's going to be
working forever.
609
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,202
And I, for one, hope she does.
610
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,371
Please welcome
the iconic Deborah Vance.
611
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,127
Mm.
612
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:27,215
Oh, Cara, baby.
613
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,758
Hello, sweetie.
614
00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:30,385
Where's Barry, huh?
615
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,638
Where's your brother?
616
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,058
Barry?
617
00:24:38,226 --> 00:24:39,686
Barry.
618
00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:40,687
Where are you?
619
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,148
Barry?
620
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:46,318
Mama's home.
621
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,154
Barry?
622
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:53,825
Barry?
623
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:56,244
Barry!
624
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,287
Come on!
Where are you?
625
00:24:57,370 --> 00:24:58,622
Mama's home.
626
00:24:58,705 --> 00:24:59,748
Where are you?
627
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:02,584
Barry?
628
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:06,463
Huh?
629
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:09,174
Oh, my God,
how did you get outside?
630
00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:11,176
Oh, no!
631
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:12,219
Oh, God!
632
00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:13,678
No!
Jesus!
633
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:19,100
No! No!
634
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,982
You're OK. You're OK.
635
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:30,111
Oh, oh, are you OK?
636
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:32,405
Are you OK, honey?
Are you OK?
637
00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:44,751
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm sorry, baby.
638
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:46,378
I'm sorry.
639
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,880
I should have protected you.
640
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,674
I should have protected you.
641
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,195
Have you seen
a lesbian ginger?
642
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:14,239
- No, sorry.
- Thanks for nothing.
643
00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:16,074
- God.
- Hi.
644
00:26:16,157 --> 00:26:17,701
- Any luck?
- No.
645
00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:19,494
We just checked her apartment.
She's not there.
646
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,954
I'm looking in Silver Lake.
Call me if you find her.
647
00:26:21,037 --> 00:26:22,872
Kayla, come on.
We're not getting Wetzel's.
648
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:24,332
Jimmy, hate to say it,
649
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:25,625
but statistically
at this point,
650
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,377
we're looking for a body.
651
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:29,504
I don't understand.
She just left?
652
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,089
What even happened?
653
00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:32,924
Hello--Deborah?
654
00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:34,718
She hung up on me.
Unbelievable.
655
00:27:00,368 --> 00:27:01,620
Oh, I'm sorry.
656
00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:03,163
I--I thought you were
somebody else.
657
00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:04,873
I'm sorry. What--
what is everybody lined up for?
658
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:05,957
Oh, we're here
for Girl Twirl,
659
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,376
a night of queer line dancing.
660
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,711
Perfect.
661
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:13,381
Um, have you seen this woman?
662
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:14,883
Uh...
663
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:16,009
I don't know her.
664
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,260
No? Anybody?
665
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:20,055
I-I-I'm trying
to find this girl.
666
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:21,848
I'm trying to find this girl.
667
00:27:21,931 --> 00:27:23,266
Anybody?
668
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:24,976
Do you have Find My iPhone
enabled for her?
669
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:26,353
Oh, I think I might, yeah.
670
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:30,273
Can you--can you help me
find my Find My?
671
00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,067
OK.
672
00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:36,363
- There she is.
- Thank you.
673
00:27:36,446 --> 00:27:38,031
Thank you.
674
00:28:05,308 --> 00:28:06,935
Ava!
675
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:13,441
Ava, no!
676
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:14,818
No! God, no!
677
00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:16,778
Ava, you can't swim!
678
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:18,196
Ava!
679
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:19,197
No!
680
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,824
No, no!
681
00:28:36,297 --> 00:28:37,549
What the fuck?
682
00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:38,883
What the hell are you doing?
683
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,176
Uh, I-I'm sorry.
684
00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,970
I thought you were
somebody else.
685
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:42,971
What the hell are you doing?
686
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:44,389
I'm night swimming.
687
00:28:44,472 --> 00:28:46,057
Oh. It's frigid!
688
00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:47,976
I'm training for
the Polar Bear Plunge!
689
00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:48,977
Back off!
690
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:51,980
OK.
691
00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:10,415
Deborah?
692
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:14,127
What the hell are you doing?
693
00:29:14,210 --> 00:29:15,378
I--
694
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,130
L-looking for you!
695
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:19,632
I thought you were
drowning yourself.
696
00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:21,551
Oh, my God, no.
697
00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:25,305
You--you drove through a gate
and disappeared!
698
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:26,598
Yeah.
699
00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:29,309
I'm not suicidal,
I just want to die.
700
00:29:29,392 --> 00:29:30,602
What?
701
00:29:30,685 --> 00:29:33,021
I'm not actually gonna
self-harm, OK?
702
00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:34,272
And if I was going
to kill myself,
703
00:29:34,355 --> 00:29:35,565
I wouldn't do it
Virginia Woolf style
704
00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:37,442
and walk into
the freezing ocean.
705
00:29:37,525 --> 00:29:39,611
I'd do pills or wear
a suicide vest on--
706
00:29:39,694 --> 00:29:41,321
"Watch What Happens Live."
707
00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:44,407
Shit, your lips are blue.
Come on.
708
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:45,992
Come on.
709
00:29:46,075 --> 00:29:48,453
Oh, my God.
710
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,542
Oh, thank you.
711
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:55,877
Here you go.
712
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,086
Sorry, I know you guys
are closing soon.
713
00:29:57,170 --> 00:29:58,379
No, it's on the house.
714
00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,672
- The hoodie, too.
- Oh.
715
00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:00,965
I'm a big fan.
716
00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:02,550
Can I get a selfie?
717
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,179
Not tonight, sweetie.
718
00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:07,597
OK.
719
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,848
Respect.
720
00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:14,771
Mmm.
721
00:30:14,854 --> 00:30:16,064
Thanks for trying
to save my life.
722
00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:17,690
Or whoever's life that was.
723
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,692
I...
724
00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:22,695
appreciate you ruining your
second-favorite fur as well.
725
00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:27,534
So why were you at the beach?
726
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:28,535
I don't know.
727
00:30:28,618 --> 00:30:29,911
Um...
728
00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:32,247
I just got in my car
and drove.
729
00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:34,582
I--I was just trying
to get away from everything
730
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,543
and I ended up at the beach.
731
00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:39,796
Which is, like, so embarrassing
now that I say it out loud.
732
00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:43,007
It's so first thought
after a breakdown.
733
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:44,717
A little bit, yeah.
734
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:48,930
And, um, I don't know
if you heard, but I quit.
735
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:55,228
You're the
youngest head writer
736
00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:57,146
in the history of late night.
737
00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:59,816
You can't just quit.
738
00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:02,485
Well, I did.
739
00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:03,987
And I do.
740
00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:06,573
Listen, you're up and down
in this career.
741
00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,867
Right now, you're up.
742
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,159
But if you walk away,
743
00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:11,703
I'm telling you,
one day you'll regret it.
744
00:31:11,786 --> 00:31:13,496
I won't.
745
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:15,790
I suck shit at
this fucking job.
746
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,001
You were right.
I never should have taken it.
747
00:31:18,084 --> 00:31:20,503
I wasn't
the right person for it.
748
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:21,880
The only reason
you were failing
749
00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,381
is because
I set you up to fail.
750
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:24,591
I'm sorry.
751
00:31:26,509 --> 00:31:28,970
Give me another chance.
752
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,513
Please.
753
00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:31,931
Even though
I probably don't deserve one.
754
00:31:32,015 --> 00:31:34,809
You don't.
755
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,103
I promise
I'll make it up to you.
756
00:31:37,186 --> 00:31:39,272
Don't say that.
757
00:31:39,355 --> 00:31:41,691
Please don't say that.
758
00:31:41,774 --> 00:31:44,444
Because when you say that,
I want to believe you.
759
00:31:46,487 --> 00:31:48,281
But you always let me down.
760
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:51,659
I won't.
761
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:52,744
This time.
762
00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:56,331
I can't trust you.
763
00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:58,583
I understand why
you feel that way,
764
00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:00,209
but I'm begging you.
765
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,757
What do I have to do,
run back into that ocean?
766
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,091
Because I will.
767
00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:09,677
Even if I did come back...
768
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:12,347
I don't know
if I can do the job.
769
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,891
I don't even
know your voice anymore.
770
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,437
You are my voice.
771
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:29,072
But I kind of hate you now.
772
00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,744
Uh, so?
773
00:32:34,827 --> 00:32:36,704
Lots of people do.
774
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:39,040
You're part of
a vibrant community.
775
00:32:46,297 --> 00:32:49,050
I can't write a show that
appeals to millions of people.
776
00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:51,135
I-I was wrong
to focus on them.
777
00:32:51,219 --> 00:32:52,553
We can't make it for them.
778
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:53,972
We have to make it
for each other.
779
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:58,226
We'll probably never make it
out of last place, so...
780
00:32:58,309 --> 00:33:00,770
we should at least
try to have fun.
781
00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:01,854
Yeah.
782
00:33:04,190 --> 00:33:06,693
I haven't had fun
in a long time.
783
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:09,696
Me either.
784
00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:22,333
I guess I do have to make fun
of Stacey to someone.
785
00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:26,421
Please.
786
00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:27,797
I mean, how do you
tell an HR person
787
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,132
they need to wear deodorant?
788
00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:30,925
- I mean, that is a trap.
- Oh, I did.
789
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,011
She said she doesn't sweat
that much and doesn't need it.
790
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:34,762
I was thinking, girl, you do.
791
00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:38,850
It's not up to you.
It's up to us, actually.
792
00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:48,234
Hold on a second.
793
00:34:07,587 --> 00:34:08,629
What is that?
794
00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:16,387
Something we should have shared
a long time ago.
795
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:28,524
Yeah, it's been
in my trunk for months.
796
00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:29,900
Yeah, it's awful.
797
00:34:29,984 --> 00:34:31,110
Yeah.
798
00:34:35,072 --> 00:34:37,784
I saw Stacey in the kitchen
799
00:34:37,867 --> 00:34:39,284
eating a banana
with the peel on.
800
00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:40,953
- You did not!
- Peel on.
801
00:34:41,036 --> 00:34:43,039
- That's a lie!
- Like a corn on the cob.
53057
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